Cautionary Love
by twice the rogue
Summary: Spock is the teacher and Nyota a talented young student who deserves his extra time. But when he saves her life from a cadet who holds a grudge against him he starts to realize his love for her. Over three years they hide their relationship from Star Fleet and tackle cultural differences,career prospects,arguments with family and loss. Will they stay together?   Now Complete.
1. Intriguing

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS AND AM NOT MAKING A PROFIT OFF OF THEM. **

**Hello, this is my first Star trek fic so I'm bound to make some mistakes I just though I'd make a few points: I have decided that I'm going to mess around with the ages a bit, people are allowed to enter the star trek academy at the age of 18, though many wait till their a few years later. Spock is supposed to be twenty- three in this fic having entered the academy at 18 and becoming a teacher after he graduated. I'm English and here the legal drinking age is 18 so I've made this the legal drinking age in my fic just in case some of the references to first year cadets getting drunk is confusing. Italics is speaking in any language other than English, in later chapter this will almost always be Vulcan ( ) =telepathic speech. Rated T for now but will probably go up to M in later chapters. So enjoy.**

The shuttle journey had been a steady and peaceful one so far. Spock enjoyed being a passenger for once as he was usually asked to be at the helm for such journeys. This was his third recruiting mission within a term, apparently because he could act as both representative to the science and the xenolinguistic departments, a two for one deal as captain Pike had described it. This time they had a specific mission to recruit a young woman heralded as a linguistic prodigy in Africa, . After news had spread to the administration office of her abilities they sought her out and asked her to make a recording of all the languages she was fluent in. It was then that Spock and Captain Pike were told to go offer her a place at the academy. The need to apply was to be wavered for her, more unusual was the fact that she would only be seventeen earth years of age in the following academic year, eighteen was the stated age of admissions and eighty percent were older than this due to the extensive entry requirements.

"Spock."

Spock was roused from his thoughts by Captain Christopher Pike, the only man whom he could call a friend.

"We're roughly ten minutes from landing."

"8 minute 37 seconds to be exact."

"Your internal clock can be damn scary sometimes."

"I'm not certain how that is possible, but I apologizes for having unsettled you."

"Well, I was just going to remind you of our mission."

"I am fully aware of our mission Christopher."

" I'm just saying she maybe a linguistic prodigy but she is still a sixteen year old girl."

"Your point sir?"

"I would prefer to avoid a repeat of New York."  
Three weeks previously Spock, Captain Pike and a few others had been sent on a recruiting mission to New York, they had meet two dozen perspective students. Three of which were interested in microbiology, as the there were no representatives of that department present and every year he guest lectured on variances of oceanic microbes he was elected to meet with them. Thus he got the blame when two of them withdrew their applications.

" Don't do that raising you eyebrow cocking your head thing Spock."

Spock straightened up not realizing he had been making this expression.

"Just don't be too hard on her and don't get all stiff and insulted if she wants to know about boys and parties and how high she can raise the hem of her skirt."

"They can get higher?" This time Christopher raised his eyebrows. "I believe that they are already of a height that allows for maximum freedom of movement. Of course if they wore trousers they would still have that freedom and wouldn't cause such distraction in the male cadets. "

" I wouldn't try suggesting that to anybody else Spock, you might just end up with a fight on your hands with every female cadet in the academy."  
"I am not saying that they should not have the choice, rather that the male cadets should learn to control their hormonal and emotional response better."  
"Spock."

"Yes Captain."  
" Remember when that nurse disturbed your meditation during your first Pon Far last year."

"The point is dropped captain."

Christopher turned away to look out the window with a smirk on his face.

" She was quite annoyed when I intervened if I remember rightly, then again so were you."  
"Captain."  
" How long till we land now?"  
"35 seconds until the landing sequence is initiated."

In exactly 35 seconds the pilot announced that they were about to land. Spock felt the familiar jolt in his stomach and nauseated feeling as the shuttle started it's horizontal decent. It was not a sensation he would ever admit to unless directly asked. It was not a discomfort he had ever heard anybody else mention thus logically it was an uncommon one. If he did mention it to a medical officer he was sure their response would be that the cause lied in his strange half human half Vulcan anatomy.

The sensation ended as the shuttle smoothly landed on the African earth. Spock unhooked his harness, threw his bag over his shoulder and went to the front of the craft to savor the feel of the first draft of hot air hit his skin. Just for an instant he allowed himself to think of home and the hot air of Vulcan then he centered himself and excited the shuttle to stand for the first time on African soil.

"The hotels just a ten minute drive away." Spock nodded and silently walked the short distance to the land vehicle. They were to meet the prospective cadet at the hotel in two hours time, which would allow him to unpack his over night bag find nutrition and meditate for an hour.

* * *

Feeling refreshed and calm Spock rejoined Captain Pike in the hotel foyer, he was already shaking hands with a couple they were dressed in the traditional bright clothing of the area , both were taller than average and there ages were hard to judge. With them stood what he presumed to be the prospective cadet. She was wearing a less traditional outfit of lose black trousers and a white sweater that hugged her curves. She did not look like a sixteen year old. This was not due to her tall slender frame but the way in which she carried herself, with an essence of grace and a quiet confidence that usually came with age. She turned to look at him as he approached , her eyes were a deep amber and they flickered over him with an intelligent curiosity.

"Ah here he is, Mr, Mrs Uhura this is commander Spock, he teachers xenolinguistics at academy."

Spock folded his arms behind his back so that they would not try to shake his hand, he nodded to each of them in turn.

"Spock has offered to talk to Nyota one to one so that he can answer any of the questions she might have about which modules to take and life at the academy, if that is alright with you."  
" Of course." Nyota nodded.

Captain Pike turned to her parents.

" And i'll buy you a drink and answer any of your questions while we wait for them to finish."

Spock nodded to Nyota Uhura. "Follow me Miss Uhura."

She followed him two paces behind as he lead her to a small informal meeting room the academy had booked for them. It was a smallish room with one glass side making it appear to just open up onto the desert like plane in front of them, the hotel they were in was considered to be out in the middle of no where but it was actually only a fifteen minute land vehicle drive from a small city, it was popular with those who liked the feeling of seclusion and people wanting to see the areas wildlife. The room was equipped with a number of comfortable looking armchairs a coffee table and a mini replicator. Spock approached that first.

"Would you like a beverage or a snack Miss Uhura?"

"Some chamomile tea would be nice thank you."

Spock typed in his room number and ordered two chamomile teas, it was one of his favorite beverages as it was soothing to the throat when speaking more glutteral languages. She had chosen to sit in a large leather arm chair on one side of the coffee table, placing the cup in front of her he took the opposite chair, took a quick sip of the light yellow liquid and continued to introduce himself.

"As captain Pike said I am commander Spock. I am a teacher of five of the language modules at the academy I run two short course on how to classify planets and Vulcan etiquette, as well as these I take the Monday morning advanced fitness groups and Thursday evening advanced combat. If you decide to attend the academy this year then as a xenolinguistic candidate it will be compulsory for you to attend my advanced Vulcan class and my introduction to federation languages class." She nodded.

"_I am pleased to meet you commander Spokh." _She said in perfect Vulcan, not the formal Vulcan spoken (poorly) by most cadets, it was the the dialect of his home sector. He was intrigued, the language was rarely taught on earth only to those choice few who were destined to work on Vulcan in his home sector.

"_Intriguing." _He answered in the familiar dialect, something he hadn't done in the four years since the rift between his father and himself, his mother preferred to speak to him in English. "_How did you come to the conclusion that this is my home dialect?"_

The familiar tones reminded him of his home, that and the heat of the room gave him a well known ache in the pit of his stomach, that feeling his mother had called home sickness.

"_Vulcan only has three dialects. The one spoken in the far north of the planet is spoken by the darker skinned Vulcans. Those that only speak the formal language, mainly those in the eastern hemisphere do not pronounce the F phoneme correctly as there is no similar sound in their dialect. You did not hesitate at or mispronounce any words including that phoneme, so I presumed you were from the west of the planet. The lightness of your eyes suggests north western as in the southwest black eyes are dominant and yours are just dark brown."_

_"_ Your assumptions are largely correct, but I am from the southwest."

She looked puzzled.

" I didn't factor in movement across continents."

" True, but that can be forgiven as such travel is rare in Vulcans. I have mixed genetics, my mother is Human, and this is the cause of your perceived inconsistencies in my appearance."

" I didn't know there were any half Vulcan half Humans."

"I am the only one."

"That must be lonely."

Spock wondered how the conversation had gotten onto such a personal note. Usually he denied any emotions stating that he was a Vulcan and Vulcans do not allow themselves to be influenced by their emotions, but due to his homesickness and the fact that he had been caught off guard then impressed by this cadet (not something that happened often) he diverged form his usual answer.

"It can be difficult. I am impressed with your deductive skills and your knowledge of the dialect of my people, but I think we should return the conversation to questions about the academy." He hesitated, he was not so comfortable with his next question as it could cause an emotional response but he felt it necessary after his conversation with Christopher. " I realize that most students have certain perceived reasons for anxiety when they first join the academy, I could give you information that could settle any such anxieties if you have them." She reached down and took the cup from the table taking a steady drink, her eyes didn't quite meet his when she spoke.

" Are the cadets and professors accepting of differences?"

" Star fleet is a multi- planetary, multi-race operation, it's members are diverse in looks, interests sexualities and abilities."

" That isn't an answer."

"I cannot give a more accurate answer, my own experiences are nothing to go by as I am the only Vulcan to ever enter star fleet, half blooded or not. Acceptance takes time."

" So, what about me?"

" I was under the impression that earthlings had not had race divides in over 200 years."

She let out a little tinkering laugh that seemed to radiate as a tingling sensation down his spine.

' I was referring to the fact that if I accept to join star fleet academy this year I will be the youngest person to ever have attended. All the other first year cadets will be at least a year older than me."

"I do not see how that will cause any issues, the administrators have decided you are capable. I myself have listened to the recordings you submitted and it is my belief that you already have full knowledge of all the languages needed to complete the first two years of xenolinguistic modules. Your school records suggest that you shouldn't encounter any problems in other modules required for a xenolinguistic career."

" I'm not worried about the work, well not very worried anyway."

"Then what are you worried about?"

She looked down blushing slightly.

" Making friends, I mean everybody else is older and on thirsty's week when everybody is out getting drunk and making friends I'll be sat in my room alone."

Thirstys week a play on the words thirst and first, was the week when all new students were taken out by older students to various social events all of which usually included drink copious amounts of alcohol making a fool of oneself and promising to be friends forever with a person you had met a few hours beforehand based purely on the fact that you both enjoy the same holovid.

"I am told there is a variety of clubs and events where people can socialize and make connections. " He didn't see it prudent to mention that he himself had found thirsy's week to be an unpleasant experience, as he had watched Humans growing increasing illogical with the consumption of alcohol.

She nodded.

"Now tell Miss Uhura, do you feel comfortable describing this room to me in formal Klingon, even though your recording was adequate I wish to test your abilities to speak it naturally without preparation or rehearsal ."

"Okay."

"If you feel this is too difficult for you please tell me, Klingon is not a required language until the third year and only basic Klingon is taught, but I wish to test your limits. It will in no way affect your entry into the academy it is merely for my own curiosity."

" I would be glad to Commander Spock."

"Very well, may I get you a refill off your drink, I find Klingon to be very harsh on the throat."

" Yes, thank you."

"Your welcome."

* * *

"_I enjoy spiced vegetables and meats. Hot herb drinks and.." _Uhura paused, Spock had moved there conversation from talking about the room in Klingon to weather in formal Vulcan, then had enjoyed listening to her speak In her native Swahili a language he was not familiar with. Now they were talking in Orion and Uhura was answering questions he asked her on food preferences. Their conversation had flowed easily, when most prospective students were nervous around him and tended to make mistakes in even the basic sentences Uhura spoke well, she had not yet misunderstood any of his questions in any language, though the tones of her Klingon had been too gentle, but it could be easily corrected with a few one to one sessions at the academy, if she attended he reminded himself.

" Tell me In English what you wish to say?"

" Fruit juices?"

" Your trouble is due to there not being a direct Orion translation, they do not drink fruit juices."

"_Wines?" _

_"Yes, I suppose that is the closest word. Do you like to cook?" _

_"Yes, I find it relaxing."_

__There was a knock at the door. Spock stood up and turned round.

"You may enter."

Christopher Pike opened the door his eyebrows raised.

"Everything alright in here?"

"Yes, everything is fine, why do you ask?"

"You have been in here almost two hours."

Two hours, had they really, yes he supposed they had. He had not noticed that amount of time pass.

" Yes, of course." He turned to Uhura. "My apologies to you and your parents miss Uhura I should not have taken up so much of your time."

'It's okay, I don't often get to converse in different languages, I enjoyed it."

" I hope you will consider the academy."

" I think I've already made up my mind."

"Oh?" Christopher said.

"I would like to attend this coming fall, I'm ready."

"Well, have a talk to your family about it and if everything's fine give the administrator a call and she'll do the rest."

"Thank you, Captain, Commander Spock." She nodded to him as she walked out of the room to where her parents were waiting patiently outside.

Spock followed after her to apologize to her parents for keeping them waiting so long. Her father asked to speak to him in private, he nodded not entirely sure what was coming next.

"Thank you for talking to me." Spock nodded. "I'm worried about Nyota going to the academy so early, I know it's just a year but I'm afraid she may be influenced by older students into, well thing's she's not ready for."

"Have you discussed these concerns with your daughter?"

"Yes, but now she's decided she will attend and once Nyota makes up her mind nothing will change it."

Spock nodded.

" I would have asked the captain this but he's a busy man, being a captain and all." Spock held back from informing Mr Uhura that Christopher actually had much more free time than him. "And you're going to be her teacher, you'll be closer too her, and well I just wondered if you would keep an eye on her."  
Spock considered, he believed that he would want to keep an eye on the future cadet anyhow as she was the most talented cadet he had yet met and he wished to make sure she had every opportunity to prove herself and build upon her knowledge.

" Your daughters talent for language warrants extra and help from me, naturally I will also attempted to council her if I believe she is making ill advised decisions. I will make myself as available to her as my duties allow."

Her father smiled widely at him and clapped him on the shoulder, he had never understood this human gesture and too him it seemed more familiar than the situation warranted but some Humans did act overly friendly on most occasion.

"Thank you Mr. Spock."

"Of course."

They walked back over to join the group.

"Are we ready to go?" Mrs Uhura asked.

"Yep, everything sorted." Mr Uhura replied. "Shall we get going then."

He turned to Christopher. "Thank you for taking the time to talk to us captain." They shook hands, then Mr Uhura turned to Spock his hand outstretched, Spock paused, he did not know how he could avoid the hand hake this time so he tried to raise his telepathic shields to reduce the amount of transference. But was rescued just in time as Miss Uhura spoke.

"Father, Vulcans are touch telepathic. It's considered rude to touch them."

"Oh, I'm sorry Mr Spock."

"It's quite alright I understand you did not know. It is just that my hands contain a lot of telepathic receptors and I would not be able to stop myself from inadvertently accessing your thoughts and emotions."

"Oh, right." Mr Uhura looked slightly shocked at this. "You learn something new everyday."

" Miss Uhura, please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions."

"Thank you Commander Spock."

He stood next to Christopher watching them leave. He felt a little uncomfortable at their parting, he had found their conversing to be more than satisfactory. It was quite illogical but he wished he could speak to her in a one to one setting again.

"Mission accomplished." Christopher smiled at him. " I think that deserves a drink don't you?"

"That would be acceptable."

* * *

Spock sat down across from Christopher, they had gotten in to the routine of meeting in the evening once a week for a drink. It had started when Spock had been a cadet, the Captain had taken an interest in him. One lunchtime as Spock had been sat alone he'd been joined him. It had taken a year for Spock to feel comfortable in the senior officers company, captain Pike had given him logical reasons to attend cadet parties, though Spock had still failed to 'fit in' with the other cadets of his age. When he graduated and became the youngest star fleet teacher there weekly drinks had begun and Christopher had recently confirmed Spock to be his first choice of science officer and second in command on the not yet completed star ship Enterprise.

Tonight they had chosen to go to the hotel bar, Christopher tended towards beer or whiskey if his day had been a bad one. Spock was not affected by alcohol he didn't enjoy the tastes of beers or ciders so he tried various beverages, his favorite was Ginger Ale, the hotel did not have any so tonight he choose an African red wine.

"How does the climate compare to Vulcan?" Chris asked.

"Vulcan is hotter and the air is drier but it is more similar to that of San Francisco, enough to make me think of home."

"I hate it to tell you the truth, never could stand the heat, that's why I never went to Vulcan." He took a deep drink of his beer. 'So what did you talk to that gorgeous young lady for two hours about?"  
Gorgeous, yes he supposed she was physically attractive.

"We talked about the modules then I conversed with her in a number of different languages to assess whether she's actually as talented as was thought as the recording could be misleading."

"And is she?"

"More so, she is fluent in speech and understanding of Klingon, two Vulcan dialects and Orion. I wouldn't have had time to test all the languages she knows, but I felt that those gave me a good understanding of her abilities."

"You seemed to have formed a connection with her, I thought perhaps you had talked about something more personal."

"She did express an interest in my genetic origins, and confided in me a worry about making social contacts at the academy, she seems to feel that her age will set her apart from the other student."

"I'll make some suggestions to the housing office and see if I can match her with a nice roommate. But why don't you befriend her as well?"

" Befriend her?"

"You have common interests, it would be benefit the both of you."

" Please expand."

"She will have a friendly face around campus, somebody to talk too as will you. And, perhaps it will help you learn to talk to students without causing them to have nervous breakdowns."

" Only one of my students has ever suffered a nervous breakdown whilst I was conversing with him."

"I didn't mean it literally Spock, I meant that your students are too nervous to approach you. Your pass marks may be acceptable but the drop out rates in your modules are higher than any other teachers."

"Some people do not have the correct attributes for linguistics. But if you believe that this is an area in which I need approving I will take your advice.":

" Didn't you find her pleasant to talk to?"

Christopher was always pushing him to make more opinionated and emotional statements.

"Yes, she was pleasant and interesting to converse with."

**Okay, so that's chapter one, please let me know what you think, all opinionated and emotional statements welcome. **


	2. Parental permission

**cautionary love story: Chapter 2 Phone calls and drinks.**

**This chapter has been revised since first put up to get rid of some typos.  
**

**Warning: This chapter does contain a swearword, if anybody feels I should up the rating to an M because of this then please contact me.**

Spock had found an e-mail from the administrative office that morning in amongst the usual e-mails from students asking questions that could have easily been avoided if they had actually made notes during his class. The e-mail had requested that he come to the offices at his earliest convenience, there was no other information on why his presence was required.

At 10:00 between his first year advanced Vulcan and his 11:00 guest lecture for the intermediate programming class he made his way across the campus to the administrative service offices. He approached the secretary on the main desk as the e-mail had been sent by her. Her name was Lisa she was in her late twenties with curly red hair, she was shorter than average and always well presented which Spock found quite agreeable. She blushed when she saw Spock walk in he noticed but she always did blush in his presence. Spock had never really stopped to consider why, blushing was one of those things that Humans did.

" Commander Spock." Her hand went to her hair to tuck it behind one ear. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course, it is my duty to respond to all e-mails from within the academy. Your e-mail did not explain what you needed from me."

"That linguistics cadet, the one whose only seventeen."

" Cadet Uhura. Though to be exact she is not currently a student merely a prospective student."

"That's the one, well I had a message through last night saying that due to legal reasons we need written permission from her parents for her to attend this fall."

" That is logical, why did you contact me?"

" There's a note on the cadet's file that says all contact prior to her attendance must go through you. I thought it was a bit unusual but I guessed it was too make her feel more comfortable, what with star fleet wanting her so much."

"Yes, I believe that to be the reason." Spock replied suspecting it was not the only reason.

" Do you have a PADD on you? I can download the form straight to it."

"Of course." Spock reached into the over shoulder bag that he always carried when working, he got out his PADD and handed it over, he waited for a few seconds as the secretary downloaded the file then handed it back to him. He carefully placed it back into his bag.

" Just e-mail it through to me when it's signed, okay?"

"Yes. Do you know who it was who added that note to the prospective cadet's file?"

"It was Captain Pike."

Spock nodded, it seemed that Christopher was going to enforce his suggestion that Spock befriend the young future cadet.

" Thank you Lisa, have a good day. " He turned away ready to head back to his office, he would have time to contact Miss Uhura's parents before his lecture was due to start.

"Spock." He turned back around to see Lisa the secretary standing close to him, her pose suggested to him she was nervous about something, Humans body language when properly read could be a useful tool.

" Do you require me for something else?"

"Do you dance Spock?

"No."

"Watch holovids?"

"No."

" Do you eat?"

"All lifeforms require some form of nutrition. I am heading back to my office now." He turned away, he never had seen the point in small talk and it was not something he wished to spend his time on.

Back in his office Spock looked up the number of the Uhura household. He went over to the small screened phone set built into the wall of his office, he typed in the number and stood waiting for somebody to answer his call. It was Mrs Uhura's face that appeared of screen.

"Commander Spock, hello I did not expect to hear from you, is there something wrong with Nyota's application?"

"A small problem but easily rectified. I hope you and your family are well." Spock's mother had taught him from a young age that on earth it was considered bad manners not too ask after peoples health.

" Very well thank you, and yourself?"

" Also well. As Miss Uhura is under eighteen parental permission is required for her to attend the academy. I shall forwards you the forms."

"Thank you, and if me and my husband sign the forms and send them back will we have to do anything else?"  
" At this particular time I do not foresee there being any further issues."

"Thank you commander." Spock inclined his head to her.

"Do you wish to speak to Nyota?"

'To what purpose?"

" I think she has some questions about some languages she wishes to study that aren't in the syllabus."

" I am giving a lecture in half an hour but if she is not busy at the moment I will answer any questions she has until that time. "

'I'm sure she'll be grateful, I'll just fetch her."

One minute thirteen seconds later Nyota Uhura appeared on screen. This time she was wearing her hair down it was straight and shining. Spock imagined if he were to touch it he would feel silk under his fingers.

"Commander Spock." Spock noticed that her wide smile made her eye sparkle.

"Miss Uhura, your mother informed me you wished to study some languages that were not offered in the syllabus."

"Yes, I wanted to know if the academy library has the resources to learn Ontarian?"

"I will find out for you and contact you with the answer tomorrow."

"Thank you, I'm sorry for the trouble."

"It is no trouble, I find your desire to learn non- required languages admirable."

"Thank you."

"How are your preparations coming along?"

"Good, I sent off my measurements for my uniform today, it's kind of exciting."

"That is good, tell me how is your physical training?"

"I do some jogging, swimming and yoga."

"And your combat training?"

"Judo and some self-defence."

Spock nodded it was better than some cadets who had no physical training at all, however she did not have enough combat training to properly defend herself. He would be sure to advise her on a new exercise routine when she arrived.

" I have to go, I have lecture to give. When will be a good time to contact you tomorrow?"

"Any time after 17:00"

'I am teaching at 17:00 I will contact you at 18:15."

" Thank you, take care commander."

"I will. Goodbye Miss Uhura."

* * *

The library felt like a second home to Spock, as a student he had spent the majority of his evenings and weekends there. His room-mate had not been respectful of his need to meditate or to study. He had resorted to meditating whilst his room-mate slept and and slept while his room-mate partied. He kept out of his way the rest of the time to avoid arguments, the man had been completely void of logic. As a result the library had become his haven.

He made his way to the obscure languages section , a label he had always found incorrect. Most of the languages were not obscure, obscure would be be a language that consisted of different toned whistles, Ferengi was not obscure, it was just largely untranslated. He felt that the section should be divided into extinct languages, obscure languages, untranslated languages, little known languages and rare dialects. He did could only find the most basic of Ontarian phrases so he checked the other xenolinguistic areas and found them also lacking. Dissatisfied he accessed the nearest computer, looked up the available resources then spoke to the assistant on the desk about ordering them in.

* * *

The next day was a Wednesday, and as such it was a day in which he laid aside time in the morning to meet with students and went to get a drink with Christopher in the evenings. Spock had set aside half an hour to talk to one student in particular. Cadet Williams had started out as one of his best students, his marks had been within the top tenth percentile, but over time it appeared he had become complacent and now his marks had fallen below the acceptable grade limits. Spock had thought the young man to have had the required attributes to succeed and was displeased with the way things had turned. As the module's teacher he had the task of accessing whether the cadet's marks could be brought up to an acceptable passing grade before the end of the semester, only a month away and trying to get him back on track if they could. He marked work until the cadet arrived at his office, a full five minutes late, quite unacceptable and it spoke towards a bad attitude.

"Cadet Williams, come in take a seat, I will just finish off grading this assignment, as you have kept me waiting it is acceptable that I do the same to you."

The young man who sat opposite him had entered the academy later in life than most and therefore was actually two years older than Spock himself, however he lacked maturity and had been on report already that semester for talking in a rude manner to a commanding officer. When he had finished grading the work and writing a comment on syntax at the bottom he turned his attention to the cadet.

"Are you well Cadet Williams?"

"I'm fine thank you, just a little puzzled as too why you asked me here."

"So you are actually in good health?"

"Yes."

"You have not suffered any recent emotional disturbances?" When teaching humans one must allow for these things.

" No."

"Has your workload increase exponentially?"

"No."

"Then there is no excuse for the fall in quality of your work."

The cadet showed signs of becoming agitated.

"Well, I know I've let thing slip a little lately."

"By two grade since your last assignment. Cadet, you will rewrite your last assignment."

"Okay, thank you for the chance to improve my grade."

"Your current grade will stick Cadet, I merely wish to re access you abilities and consider your continued attendance in this module. For this reason you will write 5000 words on the given topic."

The cadet stood up, Spock remained seated.

"But that's double what I had to write in the first place."

"Please sit down cadet, your anger is illogical and it will not serve you in anyway."

Cadet Williams sat back down folding his arms this time.

" 5000 words will give me a better idea of your abilities than 2500 words cadet. Be assured If I do suspend you from this module I will allow you the chance to retake it next year. I want the assignment submitted by 17:00 on Friday. If you have no other questions you may leave."

"Thank you commander." The cadet seemed to spit out the words.

Spock heard the cadet mutter as he walked down the hall, human ears wouldn't have picked it up.

"Green blooded Bastard."

* * *

Spock was going to meet Christopher earlier than usual tonight 19:30 instead of the usual 20:00. He finished his lecture at 18:00, entered his apartment at 18:05, ten minutes before he had said he would call Miss Uhura. He decided to change into his casual clothes. Seeing as he did not know what Chris had planned for the night he picked out black jeans and a black shirt, he deliberately left the top buttons open as he felt this made it look less like an outfit for a formal meeting. Satisfied he went to his personal com unit, it was set into his coffee table, it remained hidden till he pressed a button and then it raised out of a trap door. He typed in the number of Uhura's house, this time not having to look it up in file.

Miss Uhura answered quickly, This time she appeared to be dressed in the bright coloured robes of the sort her parents had been wearing on the recruiting mission, her hair was curled today, Spock couldn't help wondering whether it was naturally straight or curly, he decided it was inappropriate to ask.

" Commander Spock." Her voice was a tone higher than usual suggesting she was happy.

"Miss Uhura, I hope you are well."

" Yes, thank you and yourself?"

"I am in good health."

" Are you going out?" She must have based that assumption on his clothes.

"Yes, but not for one hour and forty-five minutes so I can answer any questions that you withheld from asking yesterday due to my time restraints."

"I don't have any other questions, I was just asking."

"In that case then yes, I am going to a bar to have a drink with Captain Pike. It is a standing weekly appointment. Does this satisfy your curiosity?"

She gave her twinkling laugh and Spock found that it had the same affect as it did when they had been in Africa, it was a pleasant sensation.

"Yes, commander Spock, I suppose it does."

"I was calling to tell you that the Library did not have the resources that you requested but they have been ordered and will be in stock by the time of you arrival."

"Thank you Commander."

"You are welcome Miss Uhura. Can I be of any further assistance?"

'No, thank you."

"Do not hesitate to call me if you have further questions."

" I will. Bye Commander."

"Take care of yourself Miss Uhura." He didn't add ' until you get here and I can keep you safe' but he thought it.

* * *

It was Christopher's turn to pick the bar. Which meant Spock never knew where he was going to end up. Sometimes Chris liked to share a few drinks with the students and they'd end up in a noisy club other times he'd find himself in a bar where the academy maintenance staff frequented or what Chris called an "up class joint" where they would sometime bump into an admiral. Tonight however he found himself at the quiet little bar miles away from the academy. Chris choose this place when he didn't want to be disturbed by anybody else, A few times this had been due to him wishing to have a private conversation, like when he asked Spock what he would think about serving under him on the Enterprise but most of the time it was simply because he didn't feel like socializing. According to Chris, Spock was easy to be around because he didn't have to kiss arse or be gushed at, of course there was more too it than that. The two men had great respect and understanding of each other. Spock sat down in a corner with his ginger ale, Chris had a bud classic.

"So how has your week been?" Chris asked.

"Uneventful."

"Uneventful. really? I guess the department gossip was wrong then."

"You know I don't listen to gossip."

" Well, the gossip today is about you."

"It seems to me that it is about me more often than it is about most other people."

'You do manage to get yourself into quite a lot of awkward situations."

"I do not perceive them as awkward until you inform me that I should."

Christopher laughed.

" I don't know whether you should thank me or hate me for that."

"Neither do I, but you are a friend so I do not hate you. That doesn't mean I have to thank you though."

" Well, you can consider this to be a warning rather than gossip. One of your students tried to make a complaint about you today."

"For what reason? I was not aware that I had transgressed any Star fleet or academy rules."

" You haven't, that's why the complaint didn't go through but cadet Williams definitely holds a grudge against you."

" That does not concern me, I acted fairly with cadet Williams. I gave him a chance to prove his abilities to me and I didn't have him suspended when he insulted me."

"Why not?"

" Because he was unaware of the fact that I could hear him and I am doing as you advised and allowing for emotional reactions."

"You might be allowing a little too much there, what did he say?"

"He called me a green blooded bastard."

"Why is it they never come up with anything original ? Every year same old insults and nick names."

"The student body seems to lack imagination."

" Perhaps we should introduce a new module, imaginative insults for your senior officers."

" Are you being sarcastic again?"

"Yes. You've picked that concept up quite well now."

" Yes, though how it is considered humorous I still do not understand."

Christopher smiled and took a deep drink of his beer he looked around the room for a few minutes taking in the crowd as he would put it, even though the bar was empty apart from a few women on the opposite table.

"Apparently you also broke another heart this week."

"That phrase is greatly inaccurate, if I had indeed caused anybody injury to their heart I would be in the brig."

"So, you didn't turn Lisa down?"

"I am not sure to what you are refering."

"Lisa in administrations, she tried to ask you out and you shot her down then walked away."

" Lisa did not ask me out, she asked if I danced, watched holovids or ate. I replied in the negative to the first two then in the positive to the final one."

"She was trying to ask you out Spock."

"To clarify, she was seeking to start a romantic involvement with me?"

"Yes, Spock she saw your reply as a little harsh."

"I do not wish to make an enemy of a member of staff. Do you think if I give my apologies for the perceived slight and explained to her that I do not seek romantic involvement with anybody then the matter would be resolved?"  
"Perhaps you'd better allow me to act as an intermediary, you saying it might embarrass her further. Especially with the way you say things."

"Indeed, thank you for bringing this to my attention."  
"You're welcome."

"And yourself, has your week held enough unusual content to be considered interesting?"

"Oh same old stuff, I had to confirm some new features for the Enterprise, they'll probably upgrade the technology again before she's finished."

Spock nodded the enterprise was not due for completion for another two years and three months, the tests that it was required to go through would take another six months after that. It was going to be Star Fleets flagship, the best equipped and well-manned ship in federation service.

"Oh an you'll be pleased to know I found Uhura a nice room mate. Lovely girl, I met her on a recruiting run. All it took to have them assigned to the same quarters was to buy the accommodation officer a drink, well quite a few drinks, got to keep an eye on that one."

"This neither pleases or displease me. Christopher, I know that you put a note in Miss Uhura file that all contact should go through me. I was wondering why you are manipulating this situation?"

"I need to entertain myself somehow Spock."

"What entertainment is there to be had by making sure me and Miss Uhura are in frequent contact?"

"I'll let you figure that one out. Besides the big boys at headquarters have plans to use Miss Uhura as a trial run."

'For what?"

"Have you heard of Pavel Chekov?"

" He has been on the news, he is the thirteen year old boy in Russia who passed a college level astrophysics exam."

"Yes, but he also built a transporter from scratch in his backyard and sneaked into a shuttle pod race two years ago and won. He's the quintessential unlikely genius and he's set to finish high school next year."

" Star Fleet wants him." Spock gave the logical conclusion.

"Yes, they're trying to change the rules to allow applicants under the age of eighteen to join. Though only if they are considered to show excellence in a certain field."

" Like Miss Uhura."

"Exactly, the idea is to get the talent before anybody else does, and to keep them. They're going to try to draw up guidelines on how to get these younger kids to sign-up, they want to make them feel welcome and comfortable, keep their stress levels to a minimum so they don't drop out. I knew they were playing around with the idea of only one person being in contact with the cadets before they arrive so that the Cadet could start to form a trust bond with a staff member. I suggested that you should be the one for Miss Uhura, I have to tell you it took a lot of pushing."

"So I am meant to make Miss Uhura trust me."

"I'm guessing she already does Spock. Of course with Miss Uhura being close to the entry age she shouldn't require too much extra attention."

"On the contrary, Miss Uhura warrants extra attention, not due to her age but due to the fact that she is talented and she has already mastered the languages in the first year linguistic modules. She has also told me she wishes to teach herself Ontarian, this is an admirable endeavour, one I will help her with if she wishes."

"You speak Ontarian?"

"No, but I will by the time she arrives."

Chris laughed again.

"So, what I'm saying is that even though I think you should befriend her because you obviously like her. Don't give me that look I know you friend, but it would also seem like you are acting to help Star Fleet with their latest scheme."

"Yes, maybe I'll offer to meet her at the shuttle station. She may find it disorientating to leave Africa for the first time."

" That's a nice idea as is the fact that it's your round."

* * *

Three weeks later Spock sent Miss Uhura an E-mail, it was the seventeenth anniversary of her birth (stated in her file) and he had noticed humans like to celebrate this every year. He wrote a quick note wishing her a happy birthday as was traditional. It was the last week of term, then the students left the academy for a six week break though many returned during the final week of this as that was the week they called Thristies week when all the new cadets arrived. That also meant that It would be only six weeks till Miss Uhura arrived in San Francisco. He decided he would wait till next week to extend his invitation to meet her at the shuttle port. Five weeks was a sufficient period of notice.

The next day as Spock sat grading papers in his office the com system started beeping, he had not been expecting any calls. He stood up and activated it. Miss Uhura's face filled the screen, her expression spoke of a slight nervousness that made Spock curious as to it's cause, she had never been nervous to talk to him before.

" Miss Uhura."

"Commander Spock, I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Not at all I was merely grading some assignments. How may I assist you?"

Her call pleased him, but as to why this was Spock was not sure. Perhaps it was simply a teachers delight at finding a student who was dedicated to their learning.

"I probably shouldn't have called you, it's not really to do with academy." Spock became even more curious.

"I gave you permission to call me about anything, go ahead Miss Uhura."

"I'm having some difficulties with Romulan I'm not sure I am emphasizing the right syllables. I was wondering if you had the time to help me with a few of the phrases?"

" It would be my pleasure."

"Oh, I forgot to thank you for your message yesterday."

"Your welcome, did you enjoy your day?

"Yes, my brother visited, it was nice to spend time with him I won't get to see him again before I come to the academy."

Spock nodded.

"Do you have siblings commander?"

"No, " He hesitated unsure if an expansion was required. "As I have mentioned before my mother is Human. A life form with an iron based blood shouldn't be able to carry a copper blooded foetus to term. "

Miss Uhura nodded and he was relieved when she didn't ask any further questions, both Vulcans and Humans tended to see him as either a fascinating and unique life form, medically speaking, or an abomination. Vulcans tended towards the latter, Humans the former, both outlooks he found disagreeable.

" What particular phrases are you having difficulty with Miss Uhura?"

He listened to her pronounce a few simple Romulan phrases, she was mispronouncing them. She was using the same syllable emphasis as were used in Vulcan, he concluded she was doing this unintentionally due to the similarity of the languages. Patiently he explained her mistake to her and described the differences then taught her a few rules of where to emphasis in the Romulan language. Then asked her if she could apply those rules to the previous phrases. He was pleased with her when she got them right, she had been quick to learn something that his third year students took weeks to learn. Not wanting their conversation to end he demonstrated to her how the tones and emphasis changed when the speaker was showing different emotions. When Miss Uhura had finished repeating her phrases with an angry tone she apologized, she had promised to go shopping with her sister and had to leave soon. Spock nodded.

" Of course, you learn quickly Miss Uhura, I look forwards to having you in my class next year. There was something I wanted to ask you, when you arrive at the academy would you permit me to escort you to your new quarters and assist you in filling out the required entry forms."

"Yes, thank you commander that's such a nice offer."

" Your welcome. Goodbye Uhura, enjoy your day."

"You too, Bye Spock."

The fact she didn't call him commander didn't escape his notice, it didn't displease him though.

**Reveiws always welcome. Next chapter up on Wednesday.**


	3. impaired brain functioning

**This chapter has been edited since first being uploaded to rid it of some typos.**

Chapter three

Spock had not been able to sleep, he could see no reason for this. He had consumed all the required daily nutrients, exercised for the usual amount of time, meditated and had performed all of his days tasks. As he could go long periods without sleep he was not tired but he did feel unsettled.

Miss Uhura was due to arrive at 11:00. The new students were due to arrive in groups according to department, between one-hundred and twenty and one hundred and eighty new cadet would arrive every hour from 5:00 till 18:00. It was designed that way to avoid confusion and queuing for documents, however it rarely worked out that way and there were always some mixed shuttles as some students could not reach their assigned pick up places. The shuttles would make three or four designated stops to pick up single or groups of cadets. The staff had been planning it for weeks but something always went wrong. If it were Vulcans then everything would go without a hitch, Humans confused matters.

At 10:43 Spock combed his hair again, it did not seem to be staying flat this morning. He straightened his uniform and headed out to the main shuttle hanger. He arrived just as the first shuttle of the hour arrived. He accessed one of the computer ports that were spaced at even distances throughout the hanger. He looked up which shuttle Miss Uhura was arriving in. The Darwin, one of the mixed shuttles, last stop Iowa, due in four minutes. He made his way towards the bay, nodding at members of staff who were there to greet the cadets and herd them in the right direction.

He waited close to shuttle bay nineteen, watching as shuttles passed over his head and his new students disembarking from them. Some starred around nervously others, talked excitedly.

A shuttle hovered to his right , it turned about and landed in bay nineteen. Spock felt that strong nauseous feeling he got whenever he descended in a shuttle though he could not remember ever being affected in this way by just watching a shuttle descend. The shuttle door hissed open, the metal clinking as it hit the floor. A tall heavy built man exited first, then a shorter Asian man, then finally, Nyota. She was in uniform, the red suited her, the never worn mid-calf boots were shining , the short skirt showed the well toned legs of a swimmer. Her hair was tied back in a long pony tail. She slumped slightly under the weight of two large duffel bags and the gym bag in her hand. Her expression showed annoyance, he had expected her to be excited, certainly his previous conversations had suggest to him that she would have that reaction.

She shot an irritated look over her shoulder and Spock saw a young man with blue eyes and blond curly hair following her out the shuttle he appeared to be talking to her but with all the noise of the shuttle bay Spock could not make out what he was saying. He approached them silently coming to stand behind the young man, Nyota smiled widely when she saw him over the young man's shoulder. Spock felt his lips quirk slightly in response.

"Why won't you tell me your first name?" The young man stood in front of him whined. Spock realized that he was the cause of Nyota's annoyance, he would not let him ruin what was supposed to be a happy day for her.

"Cadet Uhura, is this man bothering you?"

"Hey butt out of it buddy." The young man replied without even turning around.

" That's commander to you Cadet."

He turned and looked Spock up and down.

"Sorry Commander." He replied somewhat grudgingly, Spock considered lecturing him on how a bad attitude would get him no where in Star Fleet but decided to leave it so he could attend to Nyota.

"On your way Cadet."

"Yes Sir." He headed off towards the exit of the hanger. Spock turned to Nyota.

" Cadet Uhura, welcome to San Francisco. I have your copy of this weeks timetable, may I take one of your bags?"

" It's okay I can manage."

"I do not wish you to strain yourself."

She smiled again and handed him one of the duffel bags.

"It's good to see you commander."

"Indeed."

"I have to find my room."

" It is in block C, please follow me."

She walked beside him as they exited the shuttle bay. She walked in silence for a while taking in her surroundings.

"It's so different."She finally said.

"It's still Earth."

"Yes, I guess once I get used to all the differences I'll see the similarities. May we talk in your home dialect?"

"If you feel you need the practice."

" _Did it take you long to adjust to life here?"_

_"I had visited Earth many times before I signed up for Star Fleet so it was not an issue for me, but many cadets had never meet a Vulcan and I believe that it took them time to adjust to me."_

They entered the block of student apartments where Nyota's assigned apartment was, the entrance hall was packed with cadets waiting for the lift, Spock calculated that due to the number of Cadets and the time the elevator took they would be waiting there for 7.45 minutes.

"_Do you wish to take the stairs? Your assigned rooms are on the second floor."_

_"Yes that's fine."_

_"I can take all your bags if your starting to tire."_

_"I'm fine Spokh." _They continued up the stairs.

"_You have had a long journey."_

_" I feel full of energy."_

_"Human phrases do not sound right in Vulcan." _

_"How would a Vulcan say it then?"_

_"That the situation is causing a rush of adrenaline."_

They had reached there destined floor, Spock led the way down the corridor. He placed his hand on the touch pad by the door and gave his authorization code.

"Just place your hand on the pad and say your name then it will recognize you for the rest of the year."

"Nyota Uhura." She said pressing her palm onto the touch pad. The door slid open. From where he was standing Spock could only hear the excited squeal and a pair of soft green arms reach out and pull Nyota into the room.

"ROOMIE!"

This did not bode well. Spock moved slightly so he could see through the door way. Nyota was being bear hugged by a green Orion girl with bright red curly hair and a wide excited smile. Spock quickly assessed the situation and came to the conclusion Nyota was under no threat.

"I'm Galia." The girl said as she released Nyota.

"Nyota Uhura."

"I just know we're going to be best friends, are you xenolinguistics too?"

"Yes..":

"Great, do you always wear you hair up?It's a big night out tonight, I swear I have a dress that will look just perfect on you, oh we can do each others make-up, I'm just so excited."

" I can tell." Nyota laughed, and Spock felt the tingling down his spine, such and odd reaction. Was he uncomfortable with her laughing? He had certainly been uncomfortable with the strange noise on his first few visits to Earth, but he had thought he had grown accustomed to it. The young Orion girl seemed to notice him stood there for the first time.

"Oh, hello Mr Vulcan."

"Cadet."

"Commander Spock is helping me find my way round."

"Ah that's lovely. I arrived yesterday , there weren't many people around but I managed to find these three second year cadets, Anthony, Onur, and Jackson. They helped out, I'm having dinner with them next Monday."

" Cadet Uhura." Spock took her new PADD from his ever present bag. "This is yours, standard cadet issue PADD, your thirsties week timetable has been downloaded, as has your weekly module timetable. I also took the liberty of downloading a file with my contact details and the reference numbers of the Ontarian resources you asked for. And the required reading for my modules, which has been forwarded to all xenolinguistic students." He looked over at Galia so she'd know this applied to her, she nodded and he started to speak again before she got the chance to.

"I suggest that you come with me and sign-in before unpacking so you are not caught up with the next group of arriving cadets. I will also show you where the mess hall is so that you may get the relevant nutrients."

"Yes, I'm definitely hungry."

"Can I come?" Galia asked. "I've been alone since five yesterday."

Spock did not want the cadet to join him and Nyota but he could not see any logical reason why she should not, in fact it would give Nyota the chance to get too know her new room-mate.

"I cannot see a reason why you should not." He replied honestly.

"Great, I'll just put on my boots."

Galia crossed to the built in cupboards, the standard cadet rooms were equipped with plenty of storage space, two beds, two desks, a com unit and replicator and of course the small en-suite bathroom , with toilet , shower an two sinks. Spock entered to place the duffel he was carrying on the bed, the one that didn't look like it had been hit by a hurricane. Nyota did the same, he noticed her rubbing her shoulder as she did so.

"Are you injured Cadet?"

" No, just a little ache."

"Ready, lets go."

Spock accompanied the two cadets to the administration office, Nyota walked close to him and Galia seemed to bound along slightly in front of them. She did not stop talking the entire way.

"Are you excited about tonight? It's going to be great, drinking, dancing, flirting." She laughed."You've got to try Orion wine."

"I can't, I'm under age."

" Under age?"

"I'm seventeen, the legal drinking age is eighteen."

"You sit at the back and I'll buy the drinks for you."

"Cadet." Spock intervened. " That is against Earth law and punished by fines, removal of privileges , time in the brig and suspension as well as going on your permanent record. Cadet Uhura, I advise against it." Galia hand went to her mouth.

"I'm sorry commander."

"It's okay commander, I have no intention of breaking any rules, not in my first week anyway." Nyota smiled.

"Is that supposed to be humorous? Because the breaking of rules is not something I find humorous, the rules are there to protect you Cadet."

"I know, I'm sorry Spock."

" I do not mean to sound too negative, I know this is a happy day for you I just do not wish for any harm to come to you, or to any cadet."

"I'll look after her Commander. Really, you can trust me." Galia said.

They entered the administrative office, there was a queue of a dozen cadet sign in, but as they only had to put their signature on both an electronic and a paper form the line moved quickly. Spock stood behind Nyota and Galia when they reached the desk, it was Lisa who was helping the students.

"Name?"

"Nyota Uhura."

'" You can sign your name of the PADD but I seem to be missing your paper copy, just wait here while I go print another one off." She said flicking through the pile of papers in front of her. When she looked up she met Spock's eyes.

"Good morning Lisa."

"Commander." She turned back to Nyota. "I'll go do that right now, but it'll probably take a while."

"That's okay." Nyota answered, Lisa walked into the small office behind her. Spock was wondering why it was that it would take a while for Lisa to print of a copy of the file, by his reckoning it should only take eight-five seconds. As the minutes went on Spock started wondering if perhaps the computer system was having some kind of mis- function. After seven minutes he stepped around the desk into the office to ask if his assistance was needed. Lisa was sat in a heavy arm chair in the corner drinking what smelt like coffee, she seemed surprised to see him there.

" Lisa, is there some reason why retrieving Cadet Uhura's data is taking so long?"

"I'm taking my break, I'm entitled to a ten minute break."

"I am aware of this, it just does not seem like a logical time to take a break."

"Why isn't it logical?" Her tone indicated anger.

" Because your lunch break begins in ten minutes, meaning that you would go back to work for seven minutes before going to lunch, unless you're in extreme need of nutrients it seems ill-planed."

" Well I'm a Human so I'm allowed to be ill-planned and illogical."

"Indeed." Spock, walked over to the desk and began to search for the file himself.

" Don't touch that."

"I have the relevant security passes to be allowed access to student files." He found the correct file and printed out a copy.

"Good bye Lisa. I hope that you will get over your irritation with me and start conducting yourself in a professional manner again." He left the office, told Nyota where to sign the forms, added it to the pile of completed forms already on the desk and then escorted the cadets to the mess hall.

The mess hall was a cavernous room, two walls were completely glass to give it that open atmosphere. There were tables of all sizes and it was almost always occupied. Spock tended to have breakfast at 5:30 and that was the only time he knew it to be empty. However busy there were always enough seats though, the noise at the popular eating times was astronomical but as only a third of the student population had arrived today it wasn't quite as noisy.

There was always a large choice of foods, there were three replicators cooked or cold meals, salads and side dishes, cooked vegetables fruit and deserts and a large selection of drinks. Today on the menu was Chicken or vegetable green curry, Plomeet soup, an Orion dish that closely resembled noodles with salted meats, spinach and peanuts with plantains or beef Wellington.

"I have not gained sufficient nutrients for the day, may I join you?"

"Of course." Nyota smiled widely. "I'd assumed you would."

Spock could sense a few student staring at him on the table nearest to them. He turned and nodded at them , he didn't wish to appear unfriendly. The five students suddenly became very interested in their meals.

"Can we order what ever we want?"

"Of course, there is a limit of one fresh cooked meal but you can have as many sides, or food from the replicator as you like."

"Oh, they have Rembla." Galia said excitedly.

"Is that the noodles?" Nyota asked.

"Yeah you should try some."

"I was more interested in the soup, I feel cold."

"You will soon get used to the lower temperature. Excuse me." Spock went to one of the replicators and typed in the code for his copper supplements, the small pill gave him the copper his haemoglobin required to function. He rejoined the the cadets who were just starting to queue at the serving zone.

Galia was talking again but Spock was quickly realizing that although she spoke a lot she didn't say anything of much importance. When they reached the front of the queue Kendra the cook who was obviously on serving duty today smiled over at him. He nodded in return.

"It's your favourite today Spock, plomeet soup."

" I noticed."

'I added extra onions, just how you like it."

"Thank you, Kendra, it is appreciated." Nyota turned around and smiled at him.

"You didn't mention that it was your favourite when I said I wished to try some."

" I didn't know it was important."

"It's not I suppose, The Plomett soup with a side of roast potato's please."

Galia ordered the Rembla and when Spock's time came he ordered the Plomeet soup with a side of cheese on toast as was his habit. He added fruit and water to this and joined the cadets at an empty table. He watched with interest as Nyota tried the soup, he could not decipher her expression.

"It's good, I just expected it to have some kind of spice, I thought Vulcans like spicy food."

He lifted the salt shaker and poured liberal amounts into the soup.

"It is true that Vulcans prefer spicy food, our taste buds are different to those of a human, we do not detect many sugary tastes, but tend to eat bitter and salty food. Plomeet is traditionally served very salty but most at the academy do not like it this way."

" That is a lot of salt."

"Hey Nyota try some of my Rembla."

The meal went on with Galia talking more than she ate. Nyota gave short answers in return, mainly because short answers were all she could get in. She did keep asking Spock his opinion on various matters and finally sensing her need to include him Galia progressed to ask him a long string of questions about Vulcans. Yes, he choose not to eat meat as did many Vulcans . Yes, alcohol had no affect on Vulcans.

"Yes Cadet, it is true that Vulcans give their children living teddy bears, they are called sehlat. I myself had one called I-Chaya. I was very fond of her. "

"Are they all fluffy and Cuddly?" Nyota asked a question for the first time in twenty minutes.

" They are fluffy and although they will allow a certain amount of petting, they will bite if squeezed to tightly."

"Bite?"

"Yes, they have six inch fangs."

"And these are considered good pets for children?"

"I- Chaya was a very good pet, she was a loyal companion for many years. I was sad when she was put down."

"Vulcans get sad? " Galia asked. Nyota ignored her and continued to question Spock.

"Why was she put down?"

"Many of my class mates thought that as a half- Human I was an abomination they often tormented me trying to get me to show an emotional reaction. Finally they decided that a physical stimuli was required for a reaction. It was the only time I have ever lost control of my anger. The next day they waited for me on the route I took home and attacked me, I was greatly outnumbered and the childrens aim was to stone me to death. I- Chana came to my rescue, she charged at them and many fled but the one that didn't got injured, he lost a limb and I- Chana was deemed to be a dangerous animal. My father beheaded her."

Galia and Nyota were staring at him open mouthed, it took Nyota four point five seconds to respond.

" Spock, that's awful."

"I am sorry if I have disturbed you."

"No, it's not disturbing just really sad."

"Yes." Spock agreed thinking of the lose of his pet for the first time in years, it made him feel some remnants of sadness, he would have to meditate.

"What happened to the boys?"

" They were reprimanded."

"I hope their parents locked them up for a year."

"It was from there parents that they inherited the idea that I was an abomination. I believe some of them were praised for trying to 'cleanse the bloodline" it was considered a logical thing to do, I was an intruder, a danger to the Vulcan way of living, and that must be protected at all costs."

"Logic sucks." Galia said.

"Logic is not everything, sometimes it can be misused. But it does for the most part bring great serenity a freedom from troubling emotions that can lead to violence. It is the starting point of wisdom. What they did was logical from their point of view, but their point of view was flawed. I was no threat I did not wish to change anything, I just wished to be a Vulcan and not an outsider."

"Fuck' em I say."

"Indeed. Nyota, Galia, if you would excuse me I have other matters to attend to, I will see you at the staff mixer at 19:00."

"Goodbye Commander." Nyota replied. He got up and walked across the room to place his tray on the pile, his extra sensitive ear could still pick up Galia and Nyota's conversation.

" That man is all sorts of damaged." Sometimes Spock wished he's hearing wasn't so good.

"No, he's not. He's brilliant." Nyota replied.

Then again.

* * *

Back at his room Spock decided to make a call to Chris Pike before he re vitalized last years lectures with the latest knowledge. He activated his communicator. Christopher responded quickly.

" Hello Christopher, I trust you are well."

"Fine, thank you. I take It Nyota has arrived."

"Yes." He thought carefully how to put what he had to say.

"Take your time Spock."

"You told me you would find an appropriate room-mate for cadet Uhura."

"I believe I said nice."

"Yes."

"Galia's lovely."

"It is not that she isn't a sociable girl. It is simply that I believe she may become a bad influence. Orions are, by nature quite sexual beings, and she has already tried to encourage cadet Uhura to consume alcoholic beverages despite her being under the legal age."

" They're just excited Spock, give them some time. If I'm right the Galia will be a good friend for Uhura and Uhura might just act as a calming influence on Galia. It's early days Spock."

"I will trust your expertise in human relationships for now. But I will say that cadet Galia is not what I was expecting."

* * *

Spock finished meditating at 18:15, he showered, shaved and then dressed in a white shirt, black trousers and royal blue tie. The staff mixer was a yearly event. For one hour the new cadets got to meet their teachers and department staff. As well as this certain off duty Star ship crew members, the academy's most successful graduates, were required to make a show. Each department had it's own mixer, they were spread out over thirsies week. Xenolinguistics was always on the Monday. Satisfied with his appearance Spock made his way to function room two.

The function room was already filled with students and staff, many had arrived early in eagerness. All the staff were wearing formal clothing, not uniforms, although it was required of students to attend it was considered a social event. The cadets were all dressed up in their going out cloths as at the end of the mixer second year volunteers would be arriving to take them to various pubs and clubs. There were even alcoholic punches served at the mixer. Spock tended to like the fruity tastes of these drink so he made his way through the pupils to help himself to a paper cup full. Then he stood in a corner where the students could easily see him if they wished to ask questions about the course materials, he noticed the Chris was already circling the room making small talk with the new cadets. Although never being a member of the Xenolinguistics department Captain Pike always got an invite to their events, it was thought that his presence would impress the pupils, and encourage them to reach for higher achievements, of course it was also because he was deemed approachable.

Spock stood waiting for ten minutes, a lot of students kept glancing his way but none approached him until he saw a dark skinned cadet in a figure hugging champagne dress that stopped mid- thigh working her way to him. He didn't realize who it was till she was a three yards away from him. It was Nyota, but her hair was done up in some softly curled flowing way, and she was wearing make up, beige lipstick and some white glittering stuff on her eyelids . Spock couldn't stop himself from staring at her, the dress was low in front and showed the top curves of her breasts, it hugged her hips and her legs seemed longer, she was wearing strappy shoes with high heels. She looked older, beautiful and still had that grace and confidence that he had previously noticed.

" Hello, commander."

"Cadet Uhura, you do not look like you. I mean you do not look like yourself. Well, you do not look like anybody else." He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Chris stood grinning at him.

"Hello Cadet, how are you settling in?"

" I'm okay I think, every things so different but I think I will get used to it, and I'm glad to be here."

"I don't think I approve." Spock said, Chris and Nyota starred at him.

" And we're glad to have you here." Chris said quickly. "Aren't we Spock?"

"Very glad yes, I appreciate you, it."

Chris's arm reached firmly across his shoulder, and started to guide him around. Although Spock did not like to be touched in his manner he did appreciate the guidance.  
"You'll have to excuse us Cadet there's a young man over there that is eager to meet the commander. You enjoy yourself okay."

"Okay." Her voice sounded confused.

Chris guided him through the crowd and stopped by the entrance of the room where they were out of ear shot of anybody else.

"Smooth move Spock."

"My frontal lobe does not seem to be functioning properly."

"Yeah, I can tell."

" I did not detect any cinnamon in the punch."

"It's not cinnamon that's affecting you friend." He chuckled.

"Then I should go to the medical wing."

" No. Spock just keep out of the way of Uhura for the next forty- five minutes and you'll be fine."

" Your logic seems flawed. Cadet Uhura could not be affecting my brain functions."

Chris full out laughed this time.

"I feel very sorry for you my friend."


	4. altercation

**This chapter has been edited since first being uploaded to get rid of typos.**

**Thanks to all those who have reviewed. Wanting to know others opinions on the story is keeping me writting at what for me is a fast pace. **

**Chapter four**

Mid- September.

Thirsties week had ended without any serious injuries, two boys had been locked in the brig overnight for having Romulan ale on academy grounds. One female astrophysics cadet had fallen off a wall and broken her leg, there had been five concussions from cadets falling over or walking into things, two fistfights, and one near drowning where the cadet in question had got separated from his group and walked into the outdoor swimming pool. One of Spock's students had already been suspended due to have been involved in one of the fistfights, a result of a poorly timed joke about the Canopus planet.

Spock had finished preparing all his teaching materials for the semester and checked through all room bookings, timetables and registers to be sure that no mistakes had been made. Everything was ready for the first lessons of the academic year, starting with Monday morning advanced fitness at 6:30, then advanced Vulcan at 10:00 and beginners Klingon at 15:00.

There was a good attendance of third year cadets at his advanced fitness class, a scattering of second years and three first years. He informed them that one year of academy fitness lessons was advised before joining the advanced class but all of them seemed to think that because they were the best at their high schools they would manage. Spock knew that many of the cadets would have let there physical training drop over the summer holiday so his aim for the lesson was to remind them what he expected from them. Warm up exercises followed by twenty laps around the track falling straight into eighty press ups and eighty sit ups. Only one of the first year cadets made it to this point and some of the other cadets had (through not warming up properly) managed to strain one muscle or another. Next was weight training. At 8:30 Spock sent the Cadets to shower offering an extra hour of combat training or gymnastics to anybody who did not have classes at 9:00. Nobody excepted his offer so Spock returned to his apartment showered, had some chamomile tea and read until it was time to take his class.

A handful of students were already seated when he arrived, they were always eager at the start of the year. He noticed that Nyota was one of them, she sat next to Galia, third row left, seat next to the centre aisle. She smiled at him but he could not be seen to be over familiar with a cadet in class so he turned and began to set up his lecture slides and recordings that he used to demonstrate different accents. At precisely 10:00 he turned to the class and began.

"Good morning cadets, I am Commander Spock. I will be your teacher for Advanced Vulcan and federation languages for both semesters during this academic year. I also run one of the compulsory second year modules and two third year optional modules. So I will be getting to know all your capabilities and limitations over the next few weeks. Each lecture will have the same format though the content may be different. I will spend one hour and forty minutes teaching then the next fifteen minutes I will allow questions and the final five minutes of class I will use to explain written assignments. Assignments are given every week during class and are to be submitted to me electronically by 17:00 Friday. You will all have received the reading list for this module, these reading are to be completed each week before attending the class. Are there any questions so far?"

There weren't.

"Then I will continue, as it is our first lecture I wish to test your skills, you were all required to know basic Vulcan previous to attending this course. Last years class came to me largely unprepared, only able to form the simplest of sentences, I hope that you will prove to be a more adept class. I will ask you each a question and I expect a response, I want you all to get your PADDS or note pads out and make a note of the sentences that you do not understand as your assignment this week will be based upon these."

Spock asked each student in turn a question in Vulcan, such things as where do you come from, what are your food preferences, and are you suffering from any ailments. 83% of his pupils managed to give some form of an answer, 42% of these made some mistake in pronunciation, tense or word order, he corrected them when wrong. When he came to Nyota he hesitated, he was already well aware of her abilities but not to test her would seem to the other students like he was singling her out.

_" Good morning Cadet, did you enjoy Thirsties week?"_

_"Yes, most of my fears turned out to be unfounded. Although I missed two of the pub nights I did go dancing and went to a barbecue and to see a holovid, all of which were enjoyable. Though now I am eager to settle into classes. Are you feeling well now Commander?"_

_" Yes cadet, thank you for inquiring I must apologizes for my strange behaviour, there are some commonly used Human substances that affect a Vulcan's physiology I believe I unknowingly came in contact with one last Monday."_

_" There is no need to apologize, I am just glad that you are now well."_

_"Thank you Cadet." _

Spock noticed the rest of the cadets were hurrying trying to record everything that had been said as they did not understand most of it. He was glad for this, he would have not have responded to such a personal question if he thought the other cadets would understand. Nyota was different, he wished to befriend her.

" A perfect answer Cadet." He praised her, then continued on in his questioning.

He had set the weeks assignment and dismissed the class. Nyota paused before exiting, it looked like she wished to speak to him but she turned and walked out with Galia.

* * *

On Wednesday morning Spock opened his office door to allow students who needed help come talk to him. He could not follow his usual task of marking papers while he waited as no assignments had been turned in yet, and so he read a Klingon novel. The Klingons did not write many novels, this one was a story of two young lovers who slayed all their enemies and mated in their blood. It was not to Spock's literary tastes but it served to further educate him on Klingons. There was a tentative knock on his door and he looked up to see Cadet Uhura standing in the doorway.

" Welcome Cadet."

"Morning Commander, in your introductory lecture you said Wednesday mornings were a time when anybody having difficulty with the course could come talk to you."

"True Cadet, but I doubt you are having trouble with the course."

"I'm not, I was wondering if you could give me some help with Ontarian pronunciation."

"Of course Cadet, you may shut the door and sit down If you wish."

" Thank you." She took the seat across form him.

"Do you require a beverage?"

" No thank you."

"What exactly are you having difficulties with?"

'Pronouncing two of the basic phonemes."

She got a small hand-held recorder out of her bag, and played a recording of the two phonemes she was hiving difficulty with. Spock nodded, he could see how these would cause problems for a human, there were no similar sounds on earth, none that required the same point of air obstruction.

"Yes, I can see how these would be difficult for you. Can you try pronouncing them for me."

She did, Spock watched her lips and the movements of her tongue and jaw carefully so he could see where the problem occurred.

" And just one more time please."

She repeated the sounds without comment, Spock approved of how easily she took instructions.

" Okay, now try again but this time keep your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth."

The sound she made was closer to what it should have been but was still not right.

" Cadet, please watch my lips carefully as I pronounce the first sound."

She leaned two centimetres closer her eyes fixed to his mouth as he made the sound.

" Now if you will try again."

This time she was almost there.

"And again, pursing you lips a little."

This time she got it right.

"Well done Cadet, try to practice that tonight before it goes out of your memory."

"I will." She had a small self satisfied smile and Spock felt his lip quirk a little again.

"Now watch my lips again as I make the second sound."

This time when she tried to repeat him she hadn't made any improvement. Spock felt as if tactile correction was required. He avoided using this method for obvious reasons. It had not been required by any of his other students, yet none of them had ever tried to learn Ontarian. He stood up and walked around the desk bending down on one knee to be face to face with Nyota. She stared at him with slight confusion.

"May I touch you?"

"Uh , sure." She sounded slightly shocked and Spock could hear her heartbeat increase slightly.

" Do not be afraid cadet, I merely wish to show you how to shape your jaw, I will be gentle."

" I'm not afraid, I know you won't hurt me."

He slowly placed his fingers on her jaw, he noticed her skin was soft and warm as he gently moved her jaw. He tried to block the emotions he was getting from her. They were emotions that were strange to him, she was feeling slightly nervous yet slightly excited, strangely she also seemed to be suffering from that same nauseous feeling that Spock got when descending in a shuttle. He could also tell she was tired and hungry.

"Try now." She tried again and got it right.

"Yes. That is correct." He noticed her eyes seemed lighter when he was this close to her. "Try once more." He watched her lips carefully. Yes, she'd definitely got it right.

Spock removed his fingers from her skin. He felt a little reluctant to do so, it was not logical to feel this way he had no reason to continue touching her. He stood up and sat back down.

"Well done Cadet Uhura."

"Could we try a few words?" He voice sounded a little breathy, he wondered if she required a drink.

" No. Cadet I am aware that you are hungry and you have a lesson in forty-three minutes. I will not converse with you until you have gained sufficient nutrients."

"Okay." She gave a short laugh, Spock noticed the same reaction as always, this time paired with a warm sensation in the pit of his stomach, it seemed that whatever it was that was causing the weird sensation was getting worse.

"Will you have lunch with me?" Nyota asked, she was the first cadet to ever request his company outside of the lecture theatre or office.

"Yes, that would be acceptable." He answered before giving it much more thought.

Five minutes later they were sat having lunch. This time Spock had a dish Nyota had recommended to him. It was made out of spiced vegetables and spelt. It contained the required protein and was satisfying. He thanked her for her recommendation. He taught her a few words of Ontarion, he had known that learning the language would be of use. As she copied him she made a few mistakes, she seemed to be having some difficulties with this language she hadn't experienced with others.

" Cadet Uhura am I right in thinking that you are free every Wednesday from 11:00 to 13:00?"

"Yes."

" I believe you will experience regular difficulties whilst learning this language. I will offer you a regular time slot to meet, say half an hour every week?"

" Really, If that's not too much of an imposition."

"I would not offer if that were the case."

"Thank you commander Spock."

"Is 11:30 till 12:00 suitable?"

"Yes, thank you Spock." She hesitated, looking down at her food.

"Cadet Uhura, you are always free to speak your mind to me."

" I was going to say that if you were available we could have lunch afterwards?"

" Yes, that would give us an opportunity to converse in Ontarian, I am also relatively new to the language and would appreciate the practice."

"It's settled then."

"Yes, I must E-mail my students so they know I will now only be available till 11:30."

"Should I feel bad that I'm limiting the time others can get help form you?"

"No, most prefer to just e-mail me."

"I don't think that's the best way of doing things, not with linguistics anyway."

" That is also my opinion. May I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course Spock."

" How are you getting on with your room-mate?"

"Good, she reminds me of my sister, she chats none stop but she'll do anything for anybody. She's been so nice to me."

" That's good. I thought that she may have been unsuited to you."

'The fact that she's well..."

" I am familiar with the Orions sexual appetites." Nyota raised her eyebrows, Spock felt as if he should expand.

" In my second year was pursued relentlessly by a female Orion. It took her eighteen weeks to accept I had no interest in her and move on to another target. "

" Galia begged me to stay in the library till midnight last night. But I think we could come to a compromise, like perhaps she could keep her 'dates' to the weekends or go to their places instead."

" I believe that to be a good idea. You should leave now If you wish to be on time for your lesson."

"Oh, thanks Spock." She slung her bag round her shoulders picked up her tray and headed off.

* * *

October.

" I have sent you all an old Earth poem, I wish you all to translate it to Vulcan. Submit the piece to me both as a written document and a recording. I wish to test both you spelling and pronunciation. Be aware that you should not leave this assignment till Friday to start it, there are many words that do not directly translate so you will have to find a word that you believe still keeps the meaning of the poem clear." He could hear annoyed mutters running though the class.

"You are dismissed." He watched his students file out.

" Cadet Galia, a word please." Galia froze she looked slightly anxious, Nyota turned round and said something to her too quietly for him to hear. Galia slowly walked down the steps to stand in front of him.

" Yes Commander."

" I am impressed with the amount of improvement you have shown in the last few weeks. You are one of two students to have achieved an A grade in the last assignment." He didn't mention the other had been Nyota. " Keep up the good work cadet."

"Thank you Commander." Galia smiled widely.

" Praise where praise is due cadet. You are free to leave If you have no questions." She ran up the stairs to join Nyota who was stood at the door waiting for her. Spock and Nyota's eyes meet for a second and she grinned at him, as was becoming more and more common his lips twitched slightly, it was only a small change in expression he doubted anybody would have noticed it, but for some reason he felt that she had.

" Spock!" Chris was stood at the door next Nyota. He winked at her as she passed him to exit.

" Hello Captain."

"I thought we could grab lunch."

" Yes, that would be acceptable."

Spock gathered up his things and dropped them in his bag. He and Christopher talked about a newly discovered alien race as they walked and queued for their food. As they sat and ate Spock noticed Nyota and Galia enter the mess hall, he was near enough to hear their conversation. But for once Galia was not talking, he carefully watched them over Chris shoulder, Nyota's body language was wrong, she looked tense and aggravated. Realizing Spock's attention was no longer on him Chris turned around, seeing Nyota he turned back to grin at Spock. Cadet Williams entered after Nyota, he was speaking to her, his tone aggressive.

" I don't see why you won't go for one drink with me." His hand grabbed Nyota's arm as she tried to walk away from him she spun round to look at him.

"Let me go." She hissed. Spock found himself on his feet without having consciously thought about it. He felt a hand touch his just below the sleeve. Shocked he looked down at Christopher.

"Sit down Spock."

Spock looked back over at Nyota and Cadet Williams he had not let go of her, she looked furious, Galia was stood timidly at the edge.

" He is touching her without her permission."

" Really Nyota you're becoming known as a frigid, cold- hearted bitch." He heard the cadet say.

"Spock!" Chris warned. Spock felt his anger building, he was close to losing control. How dare somebody insult Nyota.

"Spock! Look at me!" Christopher said in the voice he usually saved for issuing commands. Unwittingly Spock looked down at him again.

"She's tough, she can handle it."

There was a loud crash and a few startled shouts from Nyota's direction. Spock turned but as every student in the room had stood up to see what was happening he could only make out that Nyota and Galia were still standing. Christopher raised too and they both pushed their way through the crowds to the front. Spock immediately stood next to Nyota his hand reaching out to touch her shoulder. She turned to him.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

Spock looked around trying to figure out what had happened. Cadet Williams was exactly one point five meters away, laid spread out on a table splattered with food, most of which was now on the floor. The previous occupants of the table were stood up looking shocked. The cadet sat up, his face was red with anger, Spock pushed Nyota behind him not wanting her to be a further target of the cadets fury.

"Captain." Cadet Williams said seeing Christopher. "This Cadet just attacked me."  
" I saw everything Williams." Christopher said back calmly. " You were acting aggressively. I believe Miss Uhura was merely protecting herself." He turned to Nyota.

"Cadet Uhura, were you afraid that Cadet Williams would have turned violent."

Nyota nodded slowly.

"So when you decided to throw Cadet William across the room you felt it was an act of self -defence?" Chris said slowly and carefully his eyes never leaving Nyota's as he feed her the words that would keep her from being reprimanded or suspended. Three security guards arrived in the room, they looked round taking in the situation.

" It's okay guys, I've got this one." Chris told them they nodded at him and left." Cadet?" Chris said to Nyota trying to get her attention again.

" Yes, I was acting in self- defence. I apologize for any disruption I have caused and any injury to Cadet Williams." She answered.

'Captain." Cadet William said angrily.

" Be glad that I didn't have the guards lock you up for the night cadet. We do not treat young ladies with such disrespect here at the academy. " Chris turned towards the serving area. " Kendra, deactivate the cleaning robot and find up a mop and broom, you have a new helper for the day."

"Ladies" He said now turning to look at both Nyota and Galia. "I think you should stick to food from your apartment's replicator today." Both women nodded. Now he turned to Spock. "I think our lunch is also over, don't you?"

Spock also nodded.

"Commander, I'm sorry." Nyota said to Spock.

" It is okay, I am glad you are uninjured."

He and Christopher headed out the door, they too would finish eating from the replicator in his office.

'I like her." Chris stated.

"Indeed."

**Sorry this is a short one, it felt like the right place to end the chapter.**


	5. curiouser and curiouser

**It's a long one but I suspect the next will be quite short so it'll even out.**

The last week of October.

Spock always went to the pool at 18:00 on a Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays, he often saw the same people on Tuesdays and Thursdays as like him they had their routines. On a Saturday it was often empty though a few times he would see students making a few laps. The smell of chloride hit his nose as he exited the changing rooms, there was one other swimmer there this afternoon. Not paying much attention he curved his body and dived into the water, it was cooler today than usual. He swam three laps before he realized something wasn't right. He concentrated on each of his muscle, there were no strains or weaknesses in them. Next he concentrated on his heartbeat, it was elevated but not above the usual exercise speed, his breathing was also fine. He paused in the middle of the pool.

It was her. The other person in the pool was Nyota. She was swimming laps slowly, almost lazily. This could not be part of her usual routine she was not usually in the pool at this time on a Saturday. Neither did this look like exercise, at the speed she was swimming at she would not gain an effective work out. He watched her long arms and legs propel her through the water, the water droplets caught the light as she moved making it appear like there were little shining lights upon her skin. She was wearing the standard red cadet swimming costume, but it look different on her than it did on other cadets, a most illogical thought.

She must have sensed him watching her as she stopped and stood. She was at the shallowest end of the pool so only her waist remained in the water, her hair was tied back but it streamed over one of her shoulders, droplets ran down her flesh and the costume clung to her curves in a way that Spock found very interesting though he had no idea why. She was staring at him, expecting. He wasn't entirely sure what she was expecting but now that he had been noticed it would be impolite to ignore her.

He dove back into the water and swam to stand a meter away from her. He could feel her eyes on him and she stood in silence for thirteen seconds then her face flushed, he loved this darkening of the skin there was something so enticing about it.

" Good afternoon Cadet, I hope you are well."

"Yes thank you, and yourself?' She said the customary reply immediately but her eyes were not meeting his they were watching her own finger swirling in the water.

" I am fine. I do not usually see you here at this time."

"No, I prefer to swim just before bed. I'm just relaxing." Her eyes still did not meet his. He didn't like it.

" Are you stressed?"

"Just an assignment bothering me."

" Can I help you with it?"

"No, it's not difficult it's just tedious. Will you excuse me I was going to meet Galia."

" Yes of course. Cadet you should take a little time everyday to pursue enjoyable activities, it will help to prevent you getting stressed."

" I will, Bye commander."

Spock turned around and dove back into the water so as not to watch her getting out the pool, he was aware of her wet footsteps padding away from him though.

* * *

October 31.

Spock had finished all the days work, he was hungry and decided that he would have a fresh curry from a restaurant just outside the academy grounds. He was fully aware that it was the night of that strange Earth tradition where Humans dressed up and acted as if they were somebody else. Spock had always found it slightly disconcerting. He set off through the academy grounds.

He nodded as he passed the captain of the titanic, a civil war soldier, a witch, and what he believed to be the main character of the classic nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty.

As he walked through the recreational fields on the edge of the academy grounds. He stopped for a few moments to observe a picnic. There was a table set with Jam scones and a tea set. The four cadets around it were all in fancy dress. One, a female cadet with blond hair pushed back with a blue band, she was wearing a blue dress with a white pinafore. Two others were dressed as animals, a mouse and a rabbit, no the ears were to big for a rabbit it was a hare. The forth student was wearing an unusual outfit of top hat purple velvet coat and green waistcoat. He watched as the top hat Cadet took a pocket watch out of his waist coat and proceeded to dip it in a cup of tea. Spock left feeling like he would never understand some human customs.

He sat alone in the restaurant, ordered and sat silently thinking until his food arrived, he enjoyed the meal, the spiciness of the sauces. When he'd finished he headed back to his apartment content to end the night playing his lute.

The sun had set whilst he was in the restaurant and he noticed that groups of cadets were heading out for a night of frivolity. He turned a corner and stopped suddenly having almost walked into Galia, Nyota was stood behind her, both were in costume. His eyes immediately took in Nyotas appearance,. Her hair had been straightened and dusted in glitter so as it shined in the streetlight. She was wearing a top of shiny material that wrapped around her neck and left her arms and shoulders bare. Her skirt looked as if it were made out of layers of white feather, she was made up with pink lipstick and the white eye make-up he'd seen her wear before. The outfit was completed by a pair of large sparkly wings connected to her back. Spock felt his heartbeat increase.

Galias outfit was a tight red corset with a black leather skirt that managed to reach further up the Orion cadets legs than her uniform did. On top of her curly red hair there was a pair of horns and she held some kind of large fork.

"Hello Cadet Uhura, Galia."

"Hello Spock." Nyota replied. It always made him just a tiny bit happy when she dropped the title. They stood facing each other in silence for a few seconds, Spock didn't want to just pass her by.

" I take it you're going to a party?"

"Yes, are you?"

"No, I was eating out."

" Your not celebrating Halloween?"

" I find it illogical to pretend to be something that I am not."

"Have you never wanted to be somebody else, just for a while?

"As that is not possible it is pointless to speculate." Nyota was about to answer but Galia apparently feeling left-out decided to interrupt her.

"I'm a horny devil. Do you like horny devils Mr Vulcan?" Galia ended the question with a small giggle. Noyta looked shocked, she covered her moth with her hand.

Spock thought carefully before answering. Devils, he knew were characters from Earth mythology. They were supposed to be creatures of darkness, evil spirits that tempted people into committing there own evil acts. Horny was a play on words. Devils traditionally were pictured as having pointed bone protrusions coming out of their heads. Horny also meant a spike in sexual libido.

"I don't know how to answer that cadet. I am hoping that you are drunk, and I have to say that this is the first time I have ever been happy at the idea of an inebriated student."

"Don't raise your eyebrows at me Mr Vulcan."

"She is drunk." Nyota said.

"I thought so. Cadet Uhura may I ask why you have wings?"

"I'm an angel." Spock nodded, Angels were the opposite of devils they were seen to be good and pure beings.

" It is appropriate."

"Let's get going already." Galia moaned.

"I shall let you get on your way."

"Okay, I'm sorry about ." She tilted her head towards Galia.

"That is not something for you to apologize about. I shall see you in federation languages tomorrow. Please take care of yourselves Cadets."

* * *

November 1st

Spock stood patiently watching as his students entered in small groups, most were looking a little worse for wear. Nyota and Galia arrived with three other students. When Galia ( whose skin was a tone yellower than usual) saw him she blushed dark green, groaned and covered her face with her hands. Interesting, Spock had never seen such a large show of embarrassment from an Orion. Spock noticed that Nyota still had glitter in her hair. She leaned over and spoke to Galia and gave her a slight push. Spock watched curiously as Galia approached him.

"Commander."

"Yes Cadet."

"I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior last night."

"Thank you for your apology."

"You forgive me?"

"I do not hold grudges cadet. It is not my business but I do ask you to consider how your actions affect yourself and others in the future."

" I will commander, I promise."

* * *

November.

Nyota was sat in front of him, she had come to him at 11:30 as she did ever Wednesday. But today she seemed distracted, her pronunciation was off and the time it took her to answer even the easiest of questions in Ontarian was twice as long as usual. He even tried asking her questions that they'd practiced before only to find that here too she seemed to have problems. He was not sure how to act, in a class he would tell the student they were not working hard enough but this wasn't a class and she was learning this voluntarily for self improvement. He did not think that her other classes were causing her problems, he had heard good reports from other teachers when he had asked as her assigned mentor. She had gained good grades in all assignments, her physical trainer was ready to suggest she join the intermediate group and her simulations had all gone without hitch. She had not complained about stress before or since he had seen her at the pool and she appeared to be in good health.

"_How is the weather?" _He asked her in Ontarian mulling over the problem.

_" It is red."_

_"Red?"_

She sighed and put her head in her hands.

" That's wrong isn't it?"

", Miss Uhura. Is there something wrong?"

" No." Nyota looked up at him. "I mean..." She stopped talking looked down and shook her head.

Spock felt confused, his emotions were not in control today. He wished to reach out and comfort Nyota, it was not something he had ever had the urge to do before, comforting was something that was rather Human. Vulcans never had need for comfort as they were in control of their emotions, others did not affect them. It was as if he was being affected by the emotions of the young woman in front of him but there had been no physical contact between them so that was impossible. With so many strange sensations lately he had to wonder if he was becoming ill but there was nothing physically wrong with him. After being around Humans for five years was it possible his Human traits, so deeply suppressed were starting to show themselves? It could not be, he was in control of them, he just had to take more time to meditate.

" I suggest that we stop for today Cadet. You are letting your emotions affect your learning."

She looked up at him with an expression he couldn't read.

"It is not your fault Cadet, you are only a Human."

She stared at him for a moment then stood up and turned her back on him.

"Wait a moment Cadet, I need to get my bag."

She turned to face him once more. He watched as she took two deep breaths before she spoke.

"I'll eat alone today Commander." She sounded angry.

He was a little stunned, he watched as she stormed out the door. He got up and left, heading for his apartment, he would meditate over lunchtime. He had never seen her act so illogically, why was it that she was always able to unsettle him?

* * *

" So then the Doc says yes but that was just lipstick." Chris laughed at the young mechanics joke. He and Spock were at a small pub outside the academy where they often went when Chris felt like having a drink with the students. These evenings tended to contain a lot of jokes about anatomic parts and unfortunate hypothetical events. Spock always listened carefully, humor seemed a desirable trait to humans and he wished to understand it.

"Spock you seem tenser than usual tonight."

" I am as I always am."

"No, you're not."

" Vulcans cannot lie."

"Then you're not aware of it."

"I am always fully aware of my state."

" I'm not going to argue with you when your being all Vulcan, it's impossible to win."

" I am never all Vulcan as my D.N.A is half Human."

Chris took a deep drink, the mechanic looked around nervously then moved away. After three minutes and forty seconds Chris turned to him again.

" I just wanted to know if there was anything on your mind."

Spock considered for a moment, he had been thinking a lot about the way Nyota had reacted to him that morning, he did not wish her to be angry at him, he did not like having missed his weekly lunch with her. It was part of his routine.

"I seem to have angered Cadet Uhura."

"Oh? "

"I do not know why she had this reaction, to me it seems less logical than her usual behavior"

" What exactly did you do?"

"Every Wednesday she comes to my office so that I might assist her with Ontarian. She is endeavoring to teach herself the language. After I have assisted her we eat lunch together in the mess hall."

"You've never mentioned this before."

" I did not see it a matter of much importance."

" Of course not. Carry on Spock."

" Today she had difficulty concentrating on the language, she did not answer my questions correctly. I asked what was affecting her but again she had difficulty in answering so I suggested we end the session as her emotions were affecting her ability to learn, I informed her this was not her fault. Then she turned her back on me to leave and when I asked her to wait she answered that she did not wish to eat with me today."

"Right, what exactly did you say to her Spock?"

"I said you are letting your emotions affect your learning. It is not your fault you are only Human."

" And she didn't call you an arsehole?"

"No. She did not."

'Spock, saying things like that are demeaning to Humans."

" But I have heard Human teachers say it to their Human students as a means of comforting them in situations when Human emotions or weaknesses have affected the quality of their work."

" Yes but hearing from a none Human gives it a completely different meaning."

" So she believed I was insulting her."

"She just might have done."

" I should apologize."

" Yeah."

* * *

Friday

Spock was impatient, definitely impatient, he remembered the feeling from his childhood, it was quite unpleasant. He tried to concentrate past it and finish the lecture on the Orion language that he was giving in introduction to federation languages. Emotions made things difficult he wondered how Humans managed to do anything with them, he had more respect for the species than he had ever done.

" The assignment is due in next Friday as always, last week I got two assignments submitted to me on Saturday. Those students will receive an incomplete for this piece, unless they can provided me with a note from a doctor. You are dismissed. Cadet Uhura, a word if you please."

Spock watched Nyota as she hesitated when she reached the aisle, for one moment he thought she would deny him the chance to explain, but she turned and walked slowly towards her. He stood with his hands behind his back watching the slight sway of his hips until he realized he was doing this and turned his attention to watching the other cadets leaving. He saw that Galia was waiting by the door.

"I wish to speak to Cadet Uhura in private." He said loud enough for the Orion girl to hear. She left hesitantly.

" Cadet Uhura. I wish to apologize, I believe I have caused you great offense, and I did not mean to." Her eyes bore into his, her scrutiny made him feel uncomfortable, he did not remember any student ever facing him in this way.

" Yes Spock you did. But I was in a bad mood so it's not all your fault."

"That makes my offense worse, I knew you were... upset and I acted insensitively. Please accept my apology Uhura, I do not wish you to be angry with me."

" I forgive you Spock." He noticed her hand move slightly as if she were going to reach out for him and then stopped herself.

"I hope that this might not inhibit you from letting me into your confidences in the future. I truly wish to be a friend to you."

Her lips spread into a wide smile Spock felt his heart beat increase once more but did not give it any thought.

" We don't celebrate thanks giving in Africa."

Spock nodded, he was aware of this, the thanks giving ceremony was coming up in two weeks, it was mainly an American celebration but the academy gave students five days off to celebrate it. There would be no lessons from Tuesday afternoon to the following Monday. Many students would return home or visit friends over the break.

" So, my parents and I overlooked the fact that I'd be having time off. By the time I told them that I could come home for a few days they already had plans to go visit my bother."

"You can't go with them to visit your bother?"

Nyota shook her head.

" I am sorry that you are upset Uhura." Spock said not knowing what to say.

"I'm not, well not now anyway. It was just that I had only found out that morning."  
Spock nodded.

" Thank you for confiding in me."

" Thanks for understanding." He nodded.

* * *

The forth Wednesday of November.

The mess hall was almost empty for lunch, Spock had surmised that only 8.3% of the students remained at the academy, most had gone home, second and third years had been given the option to get off world experience camping on a nearby M class planet that took three hours to get too at warp four and had a low gravity and numerous herbivore lifeforms. Other still had gone to a well known resort to partake in what he'd heard been called spring break 2. The kitchen staff had all been given time off so the remaining staff and students were restricted to replicator food or eating out. This also added to the lack of students n the mess hall, three to be exact. There was a young human male and female sat close together, they seemed to be eating the same meal. They did not seem to wish to be disturbed which was probably why the third was sat on her own at the opposite end of the mess hall. She seemed to be very interested in her food. Her head was bowed her shoulders slumped. Spock accessed the replicator ordering Cooper pills, plain yogurt, Kiwi a bowl of peanuts and some mac cheese. The mixture contained most the nutrients he required for the day. He took his tray and stood patiently beside the table Nyota was sat at. When he realized she hadn't noticed him there he spoke.

"May I join you for lunch today Cadet Uhura?" She straightened suddenly, and Spock noticed that there was something wrong with her eyes they looked dull, void of the usual light they carried. He wondered if she were ill.

" Yes Commander."

" It is quiet here with everybody gone, is it not?" Spock tried to make small talk.

"Yes, Galia went to the resort so it's really quite in my room now."

" You choose not to go?"

"It's for over eighteens only, Galia said she wouldn't go as I couldn't but I knew she really wanted to so I told her I'd be fine."

"Are you fine Uhura?"

She meet his eyes.

" I just wish I was at home. It was okay with everybody here but now, all on my own, it's like I feel ten times as home sick as I did before." She gave a slight laugh but it didn't sound right. " You must find that quite illogical."

"It is illogical. But I too have experience homesickness. So I empathize with you." This time her smile had a little light in it.

'I ordered Kuku Paka from the replicator but it tastes nothing like my Mum makes it."

Spock looked down at the chicken curry she was eating he could smell the coconut and chili in it.

" They never make the Vulcan dishes spicy enough either. It supports the old earth saying that there is nothing like a home cooked meal."

"Yes, I wish I could cook it myself."

Spock thought for a moment he did not like to see the Cadet upset. He knew what it was to be home sick and alone and as his reasons were quite innocent he wasn't likely to be reprimanded even if anybody did find out.

"Would it be inappropriate if I offered you the use of my Kitchen? Just for a day so as you can cook your Kuku Paka and relieve some of your home sickness."

"Is that allowed?"

"I do not see why shouldn't be."

A little of the light came back to her eyes and Spock felt satisfied, he had made her happy.

"Thanks Spock. I'll make a vegetarian version as well. I think you'll like it, it's quite spicy."

"I look forwards to it cadet."

Uhura looked down at her bowl of curry.

"I think I might go get something else."

Spock nodded he listened as her footsteps walked away from him, something he was becoming accustomed to doing, when she got back he would suggest some conversation practice to her, he wished to listen to her describe her day to day life to him as the usually did on their Wednesday lunchtimes.

* * *

Thanks Giving.

Spock moved the pillow on the chair, he looked at it, decided that it was more pleasing in it's previous spot and put it back. He wondered over to his bookshelf and carefully nudged those books that were not perfectly lined up with the others. He liked bound books it gave him greater satisfaction than reading from a screen. When he had been on Vulcan these books were denied him as his preference was illogical, when he had arrived on Earth he had immediately started collecting them. It was one of few illogical idiosyncratic traits he allowed himself. Even Vulcans feel the need for individuality. He moved into his Kitchen, everything was clean and in place, he went to the cupboard and got out some of the fresh ground chamomile he kept there, he placed the clearly labeled tin on the side so that Nyota would see it there when she arrived. He had found out on one of their conversations that she enjoyed the taste and calming effects of chamomile and not just when practicing linguistics.

he heard his com link beep, he wondered if she was calling to tell him she would not come. That would be quite unacceptable. He went into his front room and activated the com link. A familiar face appeared, his mothers. She always smiled when she called him, she was an affectionate woman, considering she had spent many years surrounded by Vulcans.

"Spokh."

"Mother, it is good to see you."

"You too son."

" Is there a reason for your calling?"

"Can't a mother call her son for no reason?"

" Everything has a reason Mother."

She laughed.

" I was just checking that your alright Spokh."

"I am fine Mother."

" It's thanks giving."

"Indeed."

"Do you have plans this year?" His mother often asked him if he had plans, she seemed to think he should spend more time in socializing, she had been pleased when she had first lernt of his growing friendship with Christopher Pike that Spock felt had not been due to the connection getting him a placement on a starship.

" Yes."

"Well?"

"You wish me to expand?"

"Yes Spokh , of course."

" One of my students is coming to use my kitchen to cook."

" Are you going to eat with her?"

"Yes." He had not mentioned it was a female student, but as his mother was correct in he assumption he did not feel the need to point it out.

" You've got a date." She stated her voice excited.

" On the contrary it is merely so that she can cook a dish from her home, she has the homesickness. We eat together in the mess hall on a regular basis."

" So your close?"

"She is my student, but I believe that we will gain friend status at some point in the future."

"You've made a new friend. That's great Spokh. What's she like?"

" She is a linguistic prodigy. She is quick to learn and fairly resourceful."

" And?"

" I do not know what information you require."

" Is she nice? Is she pretty?" Her tone told Spock that his mother was teasing him, she often did this but it was an act of affection.

" She is ..." He hesitated he never thought nice to be an affective adjective it seemed to comprise of a lot of other characteristics and nobody when asked could give a proper definition of the word. The dictionary had many definitions in this context it meant pleasing , agreeable and delightful.

" She is nice, and she is admittedly attractive."

His mother was silent for a few seconds.

" Oh Spokh, you like her."

" I find her agreeable company."

" No, it's more than that, your voice when you talk about her is softer, so is your expression. I'm not sure anybody else would notice it but it's definitely there Spokh, your falling for her."

"She is my student, perhaps one day a friend. There is nothing more."

" Okay Spokh. Just call me when you need me."

He nodded, not entirely sure of her meaning.

"Live long and prosper son."

" Peace and long life, Mother."

The conversation had disturbed him, why was it that both his mother and Chris, the two people he considered to know him best both thought he was forming an attachment to Nyota, one that wasn't based upon him being her teacher or upon building a friendship. Was it possible they were seeing something he had overlooked, he had not considered that his unease around her and strange sensations he had began to experience since her arrival at the academy could be due in any way to her. He would have to research these phenomenon more, it could be that he was having a human reaction that he had not experienced before, one that it seemed did not become much improved by meditation as others had. A chime alerted him that there was somebody at the door. He pressed his palm to the door pad, it opened to reveal Nyota, her hair was down as it had been on previous occasions when he had seen her out of uniform. This time she was wearing Jeans and a white tank top, casual wear. He noted with surprise that she again seemed to be upset.

'I'm sorry I probably should have just called."

" You were invited Miss Uhura."

" Yes, but the grocery store didn't have the right ingredients, they usually do, but because it thanks giving the shelves were just packed with traditional thanks giving foods."

" You are unable to cook the Kuku Paka." He surmised.

" Yes, I'll uh, I'll just go. Thank you for having invited me though." She turned.

"Cadet." He called her. " I have often heard that Humans do not like to be alone during their holiday seasons. Please allow me to see if there is anywhere in the city that serves the dish."

"I don't think anywhere will, not on thanks giving."

" Even if I do not find a place I still wish to eat with you today if you will allow it."

" Okay, thanks for looking out for me Commander." He nodded, wondering why it had seemed impossible just to let her walk out the door.

" Please come in and make yourself comfortable while I look up the information." He stepped aside watching as she walked in and her eyes took in his apartment. As he got his PADD and started to look up restaurants in the city he was aware of her standing by the bookshelf reading the titles of his books.

" What kind of order are these in?"

" The top shelf contains the books I have not yet read. The second down has the books I have read in the past and enjoyed and am therefore likely to read again in the near future the third has those that I will read again at some point and the forth ones I did not find satisfactory but may come in use for reference at some later date. Then each shelf is organized according to genre and alphabetical order based on author not title."

" You enjoyed the Iliad." She said Spock glanced at her seeing her run her fingers along the cover. " And the hobbit."

"You are familiar with these two titles?"

" Yes, i know there hundreds of years old, well the Iliad is over two thousand, but I still think they can be enjoyed even now."

"There themes are still relevant perhaps."

" As a star fleet cadet I definitely find the Hobbit relevant."

" I agree with you, but would still like to know why you hold this opinion."

" Bilbo comes from a little place that he's never left previous to the events in the book. He's never expected to have big adventures in life and yet he finds himself going on a strange adventure with creature that although similar to him he's not used too. He faces situations that he had not even thought possible, yet he finds some sense of enjoyment in it and finds he has skills and abilities he was never aware he processed before."

" Are you drawing a parallel to yourself Uhura?"

She laughed.

" It wasn't intentional, but yes I guess I was."

Spock considered this very personal insight into her point of view. Having been on Earth and other planets with humanoid lifeforms he had become accustomed to there differences at a young age, he had also grown accustomed to many of the different customs, foods and planetary features. Nyota however had never had these experiences, he could understand how to her all these new experience could be seen as an adventure. Many student when asked said that they joined Star Fleet for adventure, he had joined as it gave him an opportunity to make new scientific discoveries.

" Your skills and abilities were all present before you came to the academy."

"I guess I've just gained more confidence in them since I've arrived."

" That is a possibility. The only restaurant with an African menu is closed today. Do you wish to try the traditional Thanks giving food, or seek something else?"

" Thanks giving is Turkey isn't it?"

"Yes, some boast a vegetarian option of something called nut loaf. The name suggests it is a type of bread."

" It''s a mixture of nuts breadcrumbs and mushrooms."

"That would be acceptable to me."

"Me too."

'I shall check the reservations and see if there is anywhere with a table free." Spock continued his search, most restaurants indicated that they were fully booked. Finally he found one named the Vine that supposedly had some tables free for late bookings. He typed the number into his com system, it was a voice line only, a female voice answered.

"Hello, the Vine, how may I assist you?"

"Do you have any tables left for your dinner service?"

" One moment please." He waited, Nyota was patiently watching him.

"How many?"

"Two."

"Can you be here at 19:45?" It was currently 18:30, the restaurant was seven blocks away they could easily walk it in time, they would not have to leave for another twenty minutes, even taking in to mind Nyotas slower walking pace.

" Yes that would be acceptable."

" Tonight we're only serving the thanks giving menu."

" We wished to have the Vegetarian option."

"That's fine then. See you at 19:45."

He shut down the com link. He looked over at Nyota she was smiling widely, then her smile faltered a little.

"I've got to get changed."

" Do you believe that your current clothing will be inappropriate?"

"I don't know, but I don't want to risk turning up and being told they have a no jeans policy."

" Very well, I shall pick you up from your apartment in twenty minutes. "

"Sure, see you soon Spock."

He watched as she rushed out the door. The idea of eating out with her was more than acceptable, but Spock wondered at his reasons for suggesting it. It was not entirely illogical, they had eaten together in the mess hall on six occasions and he had found her company acceptable, she gave intelligent and interesting conversation. But today he had acted out of concern for her, he did not wish to see her upset, he did not wish for her to feel loneliness, and it was not due to him thinking it would affect her work. His reasons were quite unknown to him, it was an unpleasant feeling yet he could still not avoid Nyota, the cause of the feelings. He would closely observe his reactions to her over dinner, he needed to gain a better sense of what was happening to him.


	6. An accidental date

Thanks giving.

Spock had decide upon wearing plain black trousers with a white shirt and black jacket, he did not put on a tie as he believed that to be too formal. He pressed his palm to the door plate so that it would announce him to Uhura. He waited for two minutes before pressing his palm to it again, wondering why she wasn't answering her door. This time she answered after 34 seconds, she had changed into a knee length purple dress, Spock found it quite suitable. It was plain with short sleeves that were cut to leave her shoulders bare and a plain white ribbon wrapped round the waist. He had surmised that the last dressed he'd seen her in, on the night of the staff mixer, she had borrowed from Galia. This one looked younger, sort of sweet and innocent but still beautiful. She wore no make up and her hair was worn down and fastened behind her ears with pins.

" Are you ready to leave?"

"I don't know, how do I look?"

" You look like yourself."

" Is that good?" She asked looking puzzled.

" Yes, we do need to start walking now."

" I know, just let me grab my bag."

She jogged over to her bed where there was a small black bag, she swung it round her shoulder and then joined him. They walked side by side through the grounds, there was a crisp wind coming in off the bay and Spock found it pleasant. They walked in a comfortable silence, every now and then sharing a few sentences when something caught there eye that they wished to share with the other.

It was a beautiful walk, it was peaceful with few people around and there journey kept them close to the water which sparkled and reflected the sunset. Nyota commented on the flowers growing alongside the path, Spock asked her if botany was one of her interests she replied that she just liked them because they were pretty. He nodded his mother had always grown colorful flowering planets in the house as he was growing up. He told her he would send her some articles on xenobotany that he had found interesting. She thanked him with her wide smile, he noticed that it made him feel warmer and made his heartbeat 12% faster.

The restaurant had a large open courtyard with a fountain in the middle and three trees filled with small twinkling lights he had heard called fairy light. Painted on the walls around the courtyard was a green vine with little bunches of purple grapes. The waitress showed them to there table, it was to the side and was in a small alcove built into the wall, so that when they sat down facing each other they could see only each other. Though looking to the side allowed them a view of the fountain.

' This is amazing." Nyota said. Spock shot her a questioning look, to him a restaurant didn't give him any sense of amazement.

"I meant the atmosphere." She continued.

"The atmosphere is the same as anywhere on earth, it is roughly 78% Nitrogen, 21% Oxygen, and 1%Argon."

Nyota smiled at him. She opened her mouth to say something but the waitress who had seated them had stopped next to there table and was bending to light the three small tea lights that rested down the middle of the table and laid two menus in front of them. Spock thanked her, he looked over at Nyota, the sky was starting to darken and he appreciated the candles as their little alcove was starting to grow a little dim.

"I was referring to the fountains and lights and the music. Atmosphere as in the emotions that a certain place creates."

Spock nodded at his mistake, he wondered why he had missed this definition as it was one he had often heard used, he had once had a student ask him how he created a peaceful atmosphere when meditating.

" You find it pleasing?"

"Yes, don't you."

"I am not affected by surrounding as most Humans are, though it is satisfactory."

He looked back at the menu, it was labeled thanks giving starters and main. The main was easy as there were only two options, Turkey with all the trimming or Nut loaf with all the trimmings. Spock wondered what exactly the trimmings were having never taken part in this ritual feast before. The starter was more difficult, there were three vegetarian options, the mushroom medley. sweet potato balls or Cheese balls. He wondered why it was that two of the starters came in spherical shapes. The waitress returned, she asked which drinks they would like and both ordered Water, Spock ordered Sweet potato balls and Nyota had scallops. When the waitress left the resumed their conversation.

"So you enjoy classic Human literature?"

" It is a satisfactory way to spend my time when I am not fulfilling my duties. The literature of any given planet gives good indication of the characteristics of it's dominant species. The classical literature of this planet shows the humans races advancement over time. I find it interesting. Tell me Miss Uhura, have you any knowledge of literature from other species?"

" Not much, I was able to get a hold of some Vulcan literature when I was learning the language, most of which were childrens books because at the time I had not enough knowledge of the language to read anything more advanced that that. One was a simplified version of Suraks teachings."

" I have a substantial collection of Vulcan literature, you are free to use them If you wish."

" Thank you Spock."

"Have you ever read anything from before the time of awakening?"

"No, I imagine they are quite rare."

" On the contrary copies of what you would call folk stories from that time are often given to children to illustrate why Vulcans must choose to follow the path of logic. I have noted that there were a lot of similarities between our cultures during that time period, you might find them interesting."

" I think I would."

There starters and drinks arrived Spock again thanked the waitress, the mashed potato with nuts and spices was a little plain for his tastes but it was not inedible.

"Galia lent me an Orion novel a few weeks ago. I did not finish reading it, I'm sure it gave a good insight into the Orion mindset but... I'm not sure I appreciate having insight into the Orion mindset."

" It may come in useful at some point, as a people they do tend toward thinking that act they find pleasurable is one of the most important aspects of life. You are free to borrow any book from my personal collection that would help you improve your knowledge of other cultures and languages. I have two Klingon novels you might be interested in."

" Klingon's write novels?"

" Yes, though I should warn you they are quite violent and some may consider them perverse."

" Did you find them perverse?"

"I have respect for all cultures."

"They say Vulcans don't lie, it seems they just avoid the question instead."

"Indeed."

She laughed again, this time though the golden glow of the candle light lit up her skin and caught in the liquid of her eyes making them literally sparkle. It was one of the most beautiful things he thought he had ever seen and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Breathless, that was something he'd heard but never experienced. He had never expected to, he could appreciate beauty but he'd never before felt overwhelmed by it. It seemed he could nothing but look at her. Her eyes meet his and they were silent for a few moments, Spocks internal clock did not seem to be functioning properly because he couldn't say how long he sat just looking at her. He took in her every feature, those long feather like eyelashes and the curved shape of her upper lip. He came to awareness , what would she think of him just staring at her, it must seem strange to her. He looked down at his plate, he had finished his food whilst they had been talking, he glanced at Nyotas hers was also empty. He raised his hand gesturing for the waitress to come over.

" We would like our main now."

He waited whilst she collected there plates.

" I hear you have been moved up to the intermediate level in your physical training." He said hiding his previous behavior with a new topic of conversation.

"Yes, to be honest I'm not so sure about it myself, it feels to soon."

" It is always good to push yourself to new levels, but if after a few lessons at intermediate level you feel as if it is too difficult you can ask to rejoin the beginners class until you feel like you are ready."

"That's good advice, thank Spock. "

"When you first arrived you told me that when you got used to how different San Francisco was to your home you would start to see the similarities. Tell me, do you now see the similarities?"

"Yes, I guess I've settled in now. It doesn't make me home any less though."

" And have you experienced any other problems?"

" I thought you weren't on duty now." Her voice was light, she was not reprimanding him.

" Vulcans are not the only species who avoid questions."

The waitress arrived and placed two large platters of food in front of them, it contained 85% of the calories Spock required in a day, and as a Vulcan he required more than a Human. He found this tradition of eating more than necessary on Human holidays an illogical one. But for the sake of scientific inquiry he would participate.

" I," Nyota hesitated, "you remember when Cadet Williams had a go at me in the mess hall?"

" Yes, there is nothing wrong with my memory."

" Well, he's not the only one whose been bothering me. There are several male cadets who keep bothering me."

"Their attention is unwanted?"

"Yes."

Her answer pleased him.

" Why do you not tell them that their attention is unwanted?"

'I have, on several occasions. They're just persistent."

" They see you as an attractive potential mate, they are not being entirely illogical. Is there any way in which I can help with this?"

" I don't think so, I think I just have to learn to put up with it. It's just irritating. "

"I am sorry I cannot be of more use In this issue."

"It's just nice to talk to somebody about it, Galia doesn't think male attention is a problem."

" Have you resolved you problems with your roommate?"

"Yes, it took a while but I go her to agree not to bring men back to the apartment."

" I am glad you were able to resolve that issue."

"I know she's loud and flirty and drinks too much but she is a nice person."

"She seems very intelligent, it is rare for Orions to succeed in the academy, it appears that the environment offers to many distractions for them but based upon her current performances I believe that she will do well."

"I'm glad you see that in her, I know many people see her as, well, empty headed and just here to have fun. You know I think I'm going to leave most of this so I can have a dessert."

Spock nodded, most Humans had a preference for sweet foods over any other kind.

" I've noticed they're serving chocolate brownies with cream and sauce. " She said leaning in her voice becoming quieter as if it were a secret.

" I shall order it for you."

" Will you have some?"

" No,. Vulcans do not eat chocolate except on rare occasions, it has an affect on the motor sensor cortex and the frontal lobe. "

She didn't question him any further, they continued eating till Spock saw the woman who had been serving them all night come out of what he suspected was the kitchen.

" Shall I order dessert now?"

" Yes please."

He raised his hand again trying to get the waitresses attention, when she came over he ordered the chocolate brownie for Nyota, he would not eat dessert himself, he had eaten 153% of his daily required calories and fulfilled all his vitamin needs as well . She cleared there plates and Spock again was left looking at Nyota wondering if he should say something. Nyota though was watching two people next to the fountain, the were moving together in a traditional earth dance.

"Do Vulcans ever dance?" She asked him her voice low and softer than usual.

" No. There are more effective forms of exercise. I did on one occasion see my parents dancing, I do not believe that they knew I was observing them."

" My parents dance together all the time, sometimes after I'd been sent to bed I'd hear music on and I'd creep downstairs to watch them dancing together, my Mother always laughs when she's dancing."

" It seems to me that you were intruding on a private moment."  
She smiled.

" Yes I suppose, but they'd always see me and order me back to bed. Except one time, when my father picked me up and danced with me. I was always a daddy's girl."

" I do not understand this phrase."

" It means I was always trying to please my father always trying to get his attention. I have a lot in common with him."

" I understand."

The waitress placed her dessert in front of her. She thanked her smiling widely. Spock happily watched her minute changes in expression as she tasted the chocolate cake. He'd taught himself to identify the different emotions that humans so readily show with there facial muscles because it had helped him to adapt to life on the planet but he'd never watched them with such interest before.

'It is too your satisfaction?"

" It's delicious. I think I feel sorry for you, not being able to eat chocolate, it has to be one of the best food there is."

" I believe that most Humans find so much satisfaction in it because it makes the Human body release endorphins and acts as and aphrodisiac."

" And it's delicious."

" Humans have a lot of positive adjectives for food, how do you distinguish between something that is delicious, and something that is scrumptious? "

Her head tilted to one side slightly and she peered over his shoulder.

" I guess they mean exactly the same thing."

" It is illogical to have two words in the same language that mean exactly the same thing."

" Yes, it is isn't it."

When she finished the dessert she looked down at the plate with a hint of sadness. The waitress placed their bill on the table. Spock reached out to pick it up but felt a shot of electricity travel up his arm as Nyotas hand touched his having reached for it at the same time. He heard her sharp intake of breath and looked up to see a slight shocked expression on her face. She recovered quickly.  
" I'm sorry." She said her voice fast and slightly breathless sounding.

"It was accidental." He answered, but he was concerned he usually got a small emotional transference from small touches but this was not an emotion, it felt almost as though he had received a small electric shot, his breath had caught and his heartbeat had increased with it but it still seemed as if it were a pleasant sensation. He wished she would touch him again so that he could feel the thrilling sensation again.

He drew a payment card out of his pocket the waitress was there quickly to receive it.

" Can you put half on this one please." Nyota said drawing her own card out of the bag she had brought with her.

" Okay." The waitress said cheerfully. "I'll be back in a moment."

" I did not expect you to pay Nyota, It was I who invited you."

" I know, but I wouldn't feel right if you paid for all of it."

He nodded, Humans could be sensitive about such things and he would not wish to upset her again. When the waitress returned with their cards they got up and left the restaurant, it was fully dark now and though there was nobody on the particular street they walked down Spock could hear shouting coming from further into the city. It sounded joyous but he still kept alert.

"Stay close to me Miss Uhura." She nodded and walked side by side with him st a brisk pace, when they had started on the long path that ran down the water Nyota started to speak.

"Why are you calling me Miss?"

"We are off duty, I apologize if you think it presumptuous of me."

"No I don't. It is just that early you called me Nyota." Spock realized that he had indeed called her Nyota whilst they were at the restaurant. It shocked him, he had not been aware of the fact until she pointed it out. When he thought of her she was always Nyota to him but he had never actually called her by her first name before.

"Indeed."

" I would prefer it if you continued to call me that."

"Very well, thank you Nyota. I will proceed to call you via your given name if I see you outside of class."  
She continued walking after another three minutes he noticed her walking was slowing, she was looking upwards. Her arms were wrapped tight around herself, he surmised that she was cold. He took his jacket off and held it out for her, she looked at him slightly surprised.

"You are cold, I am more resistant to the low temperature than you are." He explained. She took it and he had a small feeling of satisfaction as she put it on.

"Thank you Spock. " He continued to walk but after three steps realized she was not following he turned again to see her head tilted backwards looking up at the sky she was rotating very slowly,he had never before seen anybody behave in this manner. She stopped and looked at him.

"You know on nights like this I look up at the stars and I think of all those planets out there that I'll get to see when I graduate."

" It is impossible to know at this point which planets you will visit if you are assigned to a star ship."

" I know, I'm speculating."

She walked over to join him and they continued back to the academy grounds. Spock did not hesitate to walk her all the way to her door. It was quite late and star fleet always recommended that no cadet walked out on their own after dark.

Nyota unlocked the door and turned to face him.

"I had a good night."

" So have I."

She turned to walk through the door hesitated then looked back at him.

" Would you like to come in for a drink?"

" I am currently well hydrated. Also I believe that may be seen as inappropriate." She blushed a little Spock wondered as to it's cause. Had he embarrassed her.

" Yeah, good night Spock."

"Good night Nyota, sleep well."

Spock thought as he walked back to his apartment, he had carefully monitored his responses to her all night and there could be no other conclusion. He had as the Humans put it, fallen for her. He did not know what to do with the information, he was her teacher, she had been put under his care by the academy and he had promised her own father that he would do everything within his abilities to protect her. Wishing to bond with her, wishing to mate with her, was immoral. On this planet she was not even considered a full adult yet, she was an adolescent. A word they did not have on Vulcan. Indeed this was a situation he would not have to face on Vulcan. If he had stayed he would be Joined to T'Pring. Wishing to be with somebody that was unsuitable, it was illogical. Probably the most illogical thing he had ever experienced. He could not allow further contact with her outside of that of a teacher and student. He could not allow these emmotions to continue and through cutting off the friendship bond that seemed to be forming between them he believed that they would again become under his control.

* * *

First week of December.

She was ill, her eyes were red and swollen. Her skin appeared dry around her nose and she had coughed twice in his lecture, wincing and giving apologetic glances to those around her. A part of him wished to ask her what was wrong, to check in on her everyday to make sure the ailment was not getting worse. He knew he should not though, it seemed to be caused by a rhinovirus, the students got them this time of year. The doctors often refused to treat them believing that medicating the slightest ailments would result in the devolution of the human immune system leaving the Human race unable to withstand the smallest of infections. Rhinoviruses were treated on star ships though, as they spread quickly and could result in many of the crew being unable to function efficiently.

His eyes kept drifting to her as he gave his lecture, he did not pick her on the three occasions he asked questions. In a class of this size it wouldn't be seen as him consciously ignoring her, just letting the other Cadets have the opportunity to show him their skills. But he knew that his reason for doing it lied in his belief that if he heard her voice today his resolve to move their relationship back to a professional path would waver. When he dismissed the class he kept his eyes on his PADD looking at the atmospheric analysis of a recently discovered class B planet. He did not wish to see her walking away from him.

On Wednesday Spock meet with Uhura as he usually did, and he agreed to have lunch with her afterward but as they conversed in Ontarian he did not ask for her opinion on things or ask her anything personal other than the conventional 'how are you?" He was glad to know she had recovered from the virus that had been affecting her. Instead, he kept their conversation to describing objects around them. It was more of a one-to -one lesson than an actual conversation, his aim was to make all their future lunches like this.

* * *

Second week of December.

Spock was browsing through his book shelf, today had been the last day of lessons and he now had free time for three weeks. He had already requested that he spend a few hours a day in the science lab and had been assigned several new plant samples from a class M planet that had been explored a few months ago, it did not hold any humanoid life forms or any dangerous indigenous species. The soil and atmosphere on the planet made it suitable for farming, so it was a possible site for a relocation program. Therefore his main task would be to see if the indigenous plants had any medicinal or nutritious values.

The door chimed, he hadn't been expecting anybody. He walked over, checked the I.D, It was Nyota. He opened the door, she was still wearing uniform, he had grown use to her expressions and could sense her anxiety.

"Cadet, is there something troubling you."

" No. No, I just.. I just wanted to come say goodbye in person."

" I will see you in twenty-four days Cadet."

" I'll still miss you."

" That is illogical, you will see me again."

" Good -bye Spock."

" Good-bye Nyota."

He shut the door on her, his determination to keep her at an emotional distance from him was fading. He wished to open the door and tell he would also miss her, but it would be inappropriate. Instead he entered the small room he kept for meditation. It was unlike the other rooms in his apartment as it had soft padding on the floor and it was decorated with items from his ancestral home, meditation aids handed down for generations. He lit incense and settled down onto the floor. Over the holiday period he would come up with a solution to this problem, or at least prepare himself so that he was better equipped to deal with such emotions. He would learn to suppress all feelings he had towards her.


	7. something regrettable

Very short one but Chapter eight is going to have some sweet moments.

Third week of December.

Spock did not usually dream, but he knew that was exactly what he was currently doing. He knew that Nyota was in Africa, she was not stood in front of him wearing that champagne colored dress. He was not pressing his body against the soft slim contorts of hers or running his hands through her silken hair. In his dream he carried out all the actions he had forbade himself to ever take. He touched his lips gently to hers in a soft kiss and as her dark curious eyes stared up at him as he ran his fingers down the edge of her jaw and whispered to her.

"I shall be gentle my Nyota."

* * *

Christmas Eve.

Spock had been reading one of his preferred books when the door chimed. He opened it to find Chris, leaning on the wall a bottle of some amber liquid in his arm.

"Spock!"

" Why do you seem surprised to see me? It is my apartment."

" I love you Spock."

"I find this situation awkward."

" Come have a drink with me."

"It is not Wednesday."

" No, it's Christmas Eve and there are a lot of lovely ladies at the naughty friars. Me and Bob are heading on a pub crawl and we need a third to make it a party."

" Who is Bob?"

" You know, Bob, everybody knows Bob."

" I do not believe I am acquainted with anybody named Bob."

" Bob, come here." Chris gestured somewhat haphazardly by flinging his arm. Spock heard some staggering footsteps and Robert Hill an astrophysics lecturer Spock had meet on several occasions appeared in the doorway.

" Hello Mr Hill."

" Call me Bob."

" Thank you Bob."

Chris entered Spocks apartment and through an arm round his shoulder. Spock stiffened at the casual contact.

" This man, this man is like a brother to me." He punched him on the chest. " An awkward little brother but a brother all the same. Ever in a tricky situation this is the guy you need.'

"You are both highly intoxicated."

" Yes, we are. Now get some of this down your throat and come join us." Chris handed him the amber liquid Spock smelt it, it had a strange smokey fragrance.

" You realize that this would not have the same effects on me as it does on you."

" Have some hot chocolate then."

" I find getting intoxicated on purpose highly illogical."

" Spock, you've got to come with us."

" Is it an order?"

" No, it's not. But you've got to stop us from walking out in front of cars or sleeping with some black widow women from T'Lani three."

"T'Lani threes population was destroyed by a war."

" You know what I mean."

" No, I do not believe that I do."

" You left me no other choice, Spock I am ordering you to come with us."

Spock spent a moment thinking whether it was a viable order. Star fleet members did have to obey their superior officers even when off duty but due to Captains Pikes intoxicated state he was not fit to command anything and therefore his orders did not hold any weight. Spock also considered the likelihood that in his current condition Christopher would get himself into some sort of trouble, based upon previous experience and level of intoxication there was a 76% likelihood he would say something regrettable, indeed confessing love for Spock was already something regrettable. 23% chance of an argument with another member of staff, 21% that he would injure himself in some manner and a 0.3% chance that there would be a physical alteration, Pike was not a violent man. Spock went to get his coat out the closet.

* * *

They had been out for an hour and Spock had already interceded on three separate occasions to stop Chris Pike and his friend doing anything that they would later find embarrassing. He did not know what the cha cha was but with a few carefully chosen words he had persuaded them that a fountain was not a logical place to do it. He had interceded when Bob Hill had decided to argue about some archaic game called football with a man who apparently supported 'those damned hawks" and stopped Chris from buying an Orion woman a drink. He was now stood at the bar ordering them more beverages, he did not think it a wise action to take but as the Chris told him that they would return to the academy once they had finished this last drink Spock had agreed, somewhat reluctantly at first. He patiently waited in front of the bar it was a busy night and it would take some time for the bar keeper to take his order. He sensed somebody looking at him, he turned to see a woman, dark haired five foot thee inches dressed in something that looked a little like the star fleet cadet uniforms except was made of velvet and had fake white fur around the cuffs and hem. He nodded politely at her then having finally caught the bar keepers attention ordered two beers and a ginger ale. Ad he waited patiently the woman came closer to him, she stood about a foot away looking at him, her eyes wondering openly down his body, Spock found it an inappropriate way to act in a public place.

"Looking for some fun officer?"

" The correct title is commander."

" Oh, I like that, Commander. Want some fun, Commander?"

" I am a Vulcan, we do not do fun."

He rejoined Chris and Bob.

" She was cute." Bob said. "Why'd you blow her off?"

" Spock has the hots for a cadet."

" I do not understand the meaning of the word hots in this contexts."

" Fancy, desire, like, want to," Spock interrupted him

"I understand. Although I cannot deny this, I am currently trying to suppress these emotions and would never act upon them."

" Man, that sucks." Bob offered his opinion.

"Spock, let me tell you a little something about emotions, Lust can be suppressed but love cannot."

" Can't fight that feeling bro."

" I am a Vulcan, I have control of my emotions. I do not wish to discuss this."

"Touche' isn't he?"

" Leave him be."

After finishing there drink and managing to get Bob to his apartment without any incidents Spock walked with Chris back to the on campus apartment block where they both had their quarters.

"I did not appreciate the fact that you told another member of staff that I am attracted to a student."

" He won't remember in the morning."

" You cannot be sure of that."

" Yes I can."

" How?"

" Because I won't remember in the morning and he's had a lot more to drink than I have."

" Tell me Spock, what are your reasons for suppressing your emotions towards Nyota."

" They are illogical, and I am her teacher."

"That doesn't entirely rule out dating her a little. You two could be good together."

" I will not allow it, so it would be pointless to speculate."

" Tell me something Spock, have you been thinking about her even though she's not here?"

" No."

" No?"

" No, only to meditate on how best to control these particular emotions."

" And whilst meditating do you think of her?"

"I try not to."

" Try being the word here I think."

" I have dreamed of her." He admitted, Christopher had always been an oracle for good advice, even when drunk. Illogical but true non the less. They entered the elevator, Chris was on floor three Spock on floor seven. Chris clapped him on the shoulder in what was apparently a friendship gesture in Humans.

" Bad luck my friend there's nothing that can be done for it." The door opened, and Chris staggered out.

" You have no advice."

" You're not ready to hear it."

Christmas day.

He had just finished a round of sit ups when the com link buzzed. This time he knew who it was, his mother always called him on earth holidays. He pressed a few buttons and his mothers face appeared on the screen, she seemed to have cut her hair short. It made her look younger than her actual years.

"Mother, it is good to see you."

" Merry Christmas Spokh."

" Merry Christmas."

" How did your date go? I've been wanting to ring you for weeks but your father seems to think to many phone calls without a proper reason is an invasion of privacy."

" It was not a date mother, as I have explained before a student was coming to use my kitchen to cook a meal."

" And how did your none date go?"

" She did not have the ingredients so I took her to eat at a restaurant in the city."

" Sounds like a date to me."

" It was not a date, the young woman in question is my student."

" Don't deny yourself love Spokh, you are more than capable of the emotion, you're half human."

" I have chosen the Vulcan way."

" Above all things to your own self be true."

" And who am I Mother?" Spock would usually say that he knew who he was, but these lately, being affected by so many different emotions. Acting illogically. He felt the familiar feeling of confusion, one he had not felt within the last five years. He did not know in which direction he was meant to travel. As a teenager he had made the decision to come to earth, to be a member of star fleet but uphold the Vulcan ways, it was the first time he had ever been unsure if this was possible.

" Half human half Vulcan, with all the best aspects of both. Do not deny yourself the finer aspects of Human life Spokh. Give it a chance. Promise me you'll see her again and reconsider."

" Mother."

"Promise me Spokh."

" I do not see the point, my mind is made up."

" You're missing out on some fundamental experiences Spokh, just because you believe you cannot be what you are. Human and Vulcan."

" I have made you unhappy Mother."

" It is sad for a Mother to see her son deny himself happiness."

" I will see her again and meditate on it one more time but I do not see the outcome of it changing anything."

"When you see her Spokh, just allow yourself to feel, do not hold any of it back, and see what happens then."

" That is against everything I have ever learnt."

" Sometimes risks bring wisdom Spokh."

Spock said goodbye to his mother and sat thinking for a time. He had sent Nyota a message on her birthday. If he were to take his mothers advice sending her a message wishing her a merry Christmas would be the first step in opening the door again to spending time with her alone. Just so that he could fulfill his promise and think it over again. He got his PADD typed a message and sent it.

_Merry Christmas Nyota, I hope you and your family are well. Have a pleasant time at your home I shall see you when you return in the new year."_


	8. First kiss

So, here we are at chapter eight and I've made a few changes the rating has gone up to an M, there's no M rated material in this chapter but there will be violence and sexual situations in the next three. Also I've changed the summary because the original no longer seems appropriate, the story is still going in the direction i planned for it but when I first started I didn't know if i;d get this far with it and so the summary only really covers the first few chapters.

Enjoy.

Saturday, the first week of January.

The students were due to arrive back at the academy on Monday, classes were due to restart Tuesday. A handful of students had returned early though, she was one of them. Spock was writing this years February exams he had spent four hours sat at his desk in his office bent over previous exams from before he had become a teacher at the academy to be sure he had not included any questions that were exactly the same. Then he had started checking through the recommended reading he had assigned and came up with a series of questions that would were based upon things that were mentioned in these but not his lectures. This would show him which of the student actually read all the assigned readings.

At midnight he organized the papers and locked them in his desk ready for him to return to them in the morning. He had not exercised enough today, he had been focusing on doing all the tasks that needed to be completed before the Cadets returned. He was not tired, he would spend an hour swimming lengths, the cool water would relax his tense muscles and prepare him for sleep. He headed for the indoor swimming pool in the sports complex. He always kept a spare pair of regulation trunks in his locker so headed to get them first. Then the changing rooms, the warm showers to get ride of any dirt that might of attached itself to him since his morning shower and finally out into the swimming pool.

Nyota was there, her arms and legs gracefully propelling her through the water. Spock had not prepared himself to see her, after not seeing her for three weeks her sudden presence hit him like a projectile to the chest leaving him feeling breathless a little shocked and, well like he had just been hit in the chest. He reminded himself of the promise he had made to his mother, to allow himself to feel the emotions just once without trying to control them. As the old human saying went best to get it over and done with. He walked to the waters edge and prepared to dive in when he noticed that she had stopped to look up at him. When he straightened to look at her she looked away. He was reminded of her strange behavior in the pool before.

Hello Nyota, I trust you are well. Yes, just couldn't sleep. How was your Christmas?

" I spent my free time pursuing personal interests. What is the cause of your sleeplessness, is there something on your mind?"

" No, it's just the change in time zones."

He nodded then proceeded to dive into the water and swim. He heard further movement in the water, Nyota had also resumed swimming. He swam 1.23 lengths to each of hers, she was fast for a human. They were swimming parallel to each other, two meters apart. Every time he passed her it was as though her body was radiating a great heat that seeped through the water to him. Away from her it was cold, at first he tried to block this sensation, ignore the signals coming from his body as he would when in pain, allowing himself to feel was uncomfortable as he was unused it. The reaction to suppress any emotion was strong and ingrained into his being. He reminded himself again that this discomfort was only for this one night. Once he had fulfilled the promise to his Mother things would go back to normal.

He stopped swimming when he heard her getting out the water. He trod water watching her walk away from him, he felt disappointment and the urge to call to her. Due to his promise to his mother it was an urge he could not ignore.

"Nyota, are you leaving?'

She turned to him. The sight of her in the red swimming costume brought an intense physical attraction, it was something Spock had very little experience of but he could recognize it, he had never known physical attraction could be so strong. He could understand why some people did stupid things when in this state. He did not approve of it, it would lead him to act in an illogical manner.

" No, I'm just getting a drink of water, the chlorine is making my throat feel dry."

He nodded and continued to swim somewhat reluctantly. After eight lengths he heard her footsteps returning but she did not enter the water. At twelve laps he became aware that she was watching him and after fourteen he stopped too ask her why. Wiping the water form his face he saw that she was sat at the pools edge a few meters away her feet dangling into the noticed that she had a large dark bruise on her left calf her position earlier had not allowed him to see it. He felt concern and a slight panic.

" Nyota you are hurt."

"Hm," she made a little noise of confusion then following his gaze looked down to her leg. "Oh, my sister and I were bike racing, she hit an area of low traction and she swerved and collided with me. My leg got caught and twisted between the two bikes. It hardly hurts anymore now."

She looked down and gave a small tinkling laugh. Spock doubted she was laughing at the accident but had the strange awareness that she was remembering something that she had found humorous. He watched her and she must have sensed that he wished to know what she was thinking because she started to talk again.

"I'm just thinking of my Mothers reaction when we came back all scraped and bruised. She just said she'd kiss it better. It's like we were still kids, always falling over or running into things."

" Kiss it better?"

Yes, haven't you heard that before?

He had not, he could not see any scientific reason why kissing somebody would cure an ailment. But the universe had often proven to hold things that apparently did not play fully to the rules of science. At least not to any understanding of science that they currently had. One day all these things would be explained and the logic of the universe would reveal itself to the lifeforms that inhabited it. He looked at that darkened patch of skin, a blight on an otherwise beautiful body and he wished it to disappear, he wished to take away the pain however slight. Kiss it better, he longed to kiss that skin. Kiss it better, It seemed logical to him at that moment, an experiment, the only way to test something if the theory does not seem correct.

He slowly waded through the water to her. He stood exactly a foot and a half away from her and took her ankle gently in his hand raising it slightly out of the water.

"Spock, what are you doing?" Her voice sounded curious but he could feel a deep trust she had for him flooding through the slight telepathic link the skin to skin contact had opened. It made him glad to know that she trusted him so implicitly and he thought to himself that he would never do anything to break that trust, he would protect her, always.

Kissing it better. He explained, he sensed her surprise. He paused for the slightest of seconds, she could have stopped him if she had wished but she didn't. He bent his head close to her inner calf, keeping his eyes focused entirely on that dark bruise he pressed his lips gently to her skin. Her skin was smooth and silky as he had always imagined it, warm to the touch, damp and with the smell and slight taste of chloride from the water. He delighted when he heard a soft gasp from above him. He backed away reluctantly letting go of her ankle but not without letting his fingers brush down the sole of her foot. As he had suspected the bruise was still there.

" The bruise is no better, however your heartbeat has has increased by 23% your breath sounds uneven and your internal temperature has risen by two degrees."

Her dark eyes starred down at him, he registered the surprise in them, her cheeks were starting to show a slow blush and her lips were slightly parted. He stopped himself from withdrawing completely, he had allowed himself to feel, to act upon those feelings and had committed an intimate act with a young student. He would have immediately started the suppression process is it weren't for one thing. He may be attracted to Nyota but he had just learned that Nyota was also attracted to him. He had fleetingly felt it through their contact and all her physiological response had confirmed it. If he were to do the logical ting this would mean that he should back further away from Nyota, stop calling her by her name, even put a stop to their lunches. A more concerning thing was that he had convinced himself, if only for a few moments that what he wanted to do was logical even though it was not. It was no form of scientific inquiry that had lead him to kiss Nyota but a strong desire for skin to skin contact. He would need to think on this for a long time. His short period of following his emotions had, as he suspected led to highly illogical acts on his part. But, illogically he wished it too continue, just for a few moments he had the strong inclination that there was more to be learned tonight.

" I am sorry, that was highly inappropriate of me."

"No, it's okay."

There was a silence, and it was not one that Spock felt comfortable with. He usually enjoyed silence, it was easier to concentrate on the task at hand or ones own thoughts.

"Did you ever play in the pool when you were a child?"

" Pools are for exercising."

" Me and my brother and sister always used to play in the town pool."

" What games do you play in pools?"

" Not games, not exactly, just mucking about."

She slide back into he water and waded a few feet away from him, she lazily swung her arms around in the water. Spock was wondering what thought processes had lead her to this topic of conversation, in his mind all he could think about was that soft touch of her flesh to his lips and the torn thoughts and emotions that had erupted from it. She seemed to be completely ignoring the strange act though.

" I was thinking about it when you came in. All I do is swim laps, but sometimes I wish I was ten year younger and back in that swimming pool splashing my brother and holding him underwater, it was so much fun. Life was simpler and funner back then."

" I too used to be held underwater, by my class mates. I would not have thought that you would find pleasure in attempting to drown somebody."

She laughed. Spock felt the shiver down his spine the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

" I wasn't attempting to drown him, it was just fun. Splashing each other was fun."

She turned her back wading away from him. He acted suddenly, impulsively. Swinging his arm around quickly then raising it suddenly out the water to cause a large cascade of water to fly up toward Nyota, only a small amount hit her at the distance that he was from her. He did not find that the action had been pleasurable in anyway. Nyota turned around she was grinning widely, she copied that action and the cool chloride water hit him in the face. It was not in anyway pleasant but seeing the way Nyota was smiling the twinkling and mischievous light in her eyes. It was an acceptable trade.

" Cadet Uhura I will have you reprimanded for splashing a superior officer."

This time her laughing was even more delightful than before, Spock did not think it was because she laughed more loudly than he;d ever heard her but because he knew he was the direct cause of the laughter and it pleased him.

"Are you joking Spock?"

He considered answering that Vulcans did not joke but indeed he had threatened her with an action that didn't mean to take and he had meant for it to illicit a laugh, he had indeed joked, he raised his eyebrows at her and she laughed more. Spock heard the sound of footsteps and looked at Nyota, he decided it best not to allow another student or staff member to see him so uninhibited. He nodded at Nyota and dove back into the water starting to swim laps, Nyota followed his lead. Three minutes later Spock passed the new swimmer in the water, a tellerite which explained why the student was around so late, the tellerites, like Vulcans did not require much sleep. After another eight minutes and 32 seconds Nyota left the pool. Spock felt disappointed that she had left and strangely annoyed at the tellerite for his untimely entrance.

* * *

Spock had allowed himself to enter into one of the deepest forms of meditation, his mental walls that dampened his emotions and allowed him to act in a clearly logical manner had taken a knock and they now needed to be strengthened. He entered this state of pure thought and tranquility not knowing how long it would take to restore his balance and find a solution to his feelings for Nyota that satisfied both his logical Vulcan mind and his Human heart, in the metaphorical sense. It was the first hour of Sunday morning, he would forgo sleep, food and exercise, he had known this form of meditation to last for days at times but as he was needed on Tueday morning he had set several alarms so that he would come out of it by then.

Spock came to awareness just as the sun was setting. He felt refreshed and tranquil. He went to his small replicator and ordered Plomeet soup, rice, fruit salad and milk. As he sat down to eat he felt satisfaction at having come up with an answer. Nyota was an inappropriate for a bond mate, but that inappropriate lied in two factors, the first being that although sensible and intelligent she was very young, six years younger than himself, still on the cusp of womanhood. The other was the fact that she was his student, the answer was simple. She would not always be this young and she would not always be his student. If it weren't for these two things she would be a suitable bond mate for him. She was quick to learn, had some similar interests, she wished to be on a star ship when she graduated, she was graceful yet could look after herself to a certain extent. She seemed to have a good control over her emotions, a strong will and determination. She was attracted to him, had on occasions sought to spend time with him and seemed to like him, she had never looked at him with the irritation that most Humans showed him. It would not be uncomfortable to be linked to her. So he would wait, he would wait for her to grow up, it would not be long now. He would wait and protect her and befriend her and let her know in some small ways that he cared for her and hope that when the time came when she was old enough and no longer his student she would accept him.

He had barely finished his Plomeet soup when his door chimed, carefully placing his spoon back into the bowl to be recycled he went over to the door checked the I.D. and opened the door to Christopher Pike.

"Spock."

"Chris, how may I help you?"

" I was just checking you're alright, the head called you three times and sent you and E-mail and as you didn't answer either he asked me to check in on you."

" I have been meditating, I did not hear the communicator. What is so urgent?"

I don't know some kind of disciplinary hearing. I shall check my messages once I have finished eating.

" Okay, is there anything you want to talk about Spock?"

" No, I am content."

That's good, look I'm glad your okay, I'm away for the next few days on a recruitment drive but I'll be back on Wednesday so I'll see you then.

"Yes. Goodbye Chris."

After Chris left Spock finished eating is meal and then got his PADD to read the message left for him. He had been summoned to a meeting to decide what disciplinary action was to be taken against Cadet Williams, apparently the Cadet had broken another rule but whihc wasn't detailed in the message. As a member of the Cadets apartment Spocks opinion would be taken into account. Spock had only been called to one of these meetings once before. The young cadet in question had disobeyed a senior officers order, but in doing so had saved the life of another cadet. He had a spotless record and good grades, he was given a sever warning and was held back from raising rank for a three year period, though many thought he should have got a commendation for bravery.

Cadet Williams grades were below average and he had a bad attitude towards rules and his senior officers. He was the cadet who had insulted Nyota, whether he'd stay at the academy or be dismissed depended upon the seriousness of the offense. Spock would reserve judgment until he knew the full details.

* * *

Spock got up at 6:00, exercised fro forty -five minutes, ate breakfast in the mess hall then headed towards the science lab that was dedicated to botany. He wished to make a final check on one of the plants he had been assigned to study. It had no medicinal or vitamin value. It produced delicate little flowers all year round. Each flower had five triangular shaped petals, it was a most unusual specimen as the color of the petals changed from a light blue to a dark purple throughout the day. It could not be pollinated on this planet as it could only;y be pollinated by a small unnamed insect native to it's home world. Due to this it could have no affect on earths ecosystem and Spock had grown three other samples from cuttings and had gotten permission to keep one.

The new plants had grown quickly and were now looking like small leafy bushes. Arriving at the lab he picked out the bush that had grown the most and had produced five of the delicate color changing flowers. He carefully dug it out of the green lab tray and replanted it in a brown ceramic plant pot with a fifteen centimeter diameter. He then mixed up a two pint bottle of plant feed. He checked the time , it was 7:32. It would take him twelve minutes to walk to the student accommodations arriving at 7:42. He wondered if Nyota would have risen. It was still the student holidays and he knew that Humans had the habit of not rising at the same time on days when they were not required to work or study as on the days when they were.

He decided to stop by his office on the way and call her to be sure that she was awake, he fit the two pint bottle into his bag and went to the plant, he gently ran his fingers over the silky texture of one of the petals. As the main scientist connected to the specimen he had the task of giving it a name. So far he had left the name on the fact sheet as XIN32X8, now he accessed one of the computer terminals pulled up the plants information sheet and typed in the box at the top the plants new name. Zambarau Nyota.

Picking the plant back up he headed back to his office where he typed Nyotas address into his communicator and waited for her to answer. It took her forty- two seconds. She was wearing her hair loose today and was wearing a yellow jumper.

Nyota, I hope I am not disturbing you.

" No, I was just going out for breakfast."

' May I come to your apartment? She looked at him with curiosity.

" Yes."

I shall see you in seven minutes and twenty seconds. He shut down the com link and headed to Nyotas apartment, taking the lift to protect the plant. She opened the door quickly as she was expecting him, she was wearing jeans and a jumper, the outfit hugged her figure. She looked at him with some curiosity her eyes wondered to the plant he held in his hands.

" Is there something wrong?" She asked .

He extended the plant slightly. I thought that you might like to have the specimen, to brighten up your room.

He used the words he had heard his mother use to explain why she kept plants in the house. A slow smile spread across Nyotas face, he had been right in his presuming that she would like the gift and he felt a small tightness in his stomach that he couldn't name but now knew was caused by pleasing her.

" It's pretty."

It is from a newly discovered class M planet. If you place it by your window and water it every three days it should survive in your room. He handed it to her, his fingers brushing her and giving him that slight electric thrill up his arm and a flash of delighted and curious surprise form Nyota.

Thank you Spock, it is lovely. She turned and put the plant on the windowsill. Come in. She said as he waited on her doorstep. He stepped into the room, the door closed behind him. He looked around her room, it was the first time he had been i n it since the day she had arrived. One side of the room was left plain, the desk had a neatly organized stack of PADDS and electronic books, a couple of paper books and a Dictaphone. The other side of the room had posters covering 85% of the wall, he could see a sock under the bed and there were items of make up and jewelry in amongst the badly organized PADDS, and a romance novel.

" Your roommate had not returned?"

" No, I got a message form her last week, she won't be back till Thursday, family problems. What's this called?"

Zambarau Nyota. He said, wondering if he could hide the fact that he had named it after her, it could be consider an action of over familiarity. He noted her eyes widened slightly as he said the name and her pulse increased.

" Why is it named in Swahili?"

It seemed appropriate that as I was giving it to you I should also name it in your native tounge.

" You named it?"

I volunteered to access the sample for any uses and naming it is part of the process.

" Why did you call it purple star? The flowers are blue."

In the morning they are blue, as the day progresses they darken to purple and then return to blue in the last hour before dawn.

She looked back at the plant taking her eyes taking it in slowly.

" Amazing."

It is an interesting trait, although I have determined the chemical reaction that causes the change I have bot yet discovered what purpose it serves the plant.

" Thank you Spock, really."

She seemed to move unconsciously towards him and then stopped looking slightly nervous. He thought that she had perhaps meant to embrace him but stopped herself due to the inappropriateness of the action. He wished that she had embraced him, he wished to hold her close in that innocent human manner.

"I'm going to get breakfast, will you join me?"

I have already eaten but I shall have a cup of tea. Tell me have you been studying Ontarian over the break?

" Yes, but I would prefer it if we talk in your dialect. I am becoming out of practice."

" _That is acceptable." _

As they headed down to the mess hall they talked more of Spocks experiments on the plant specimens and on trips Nyota had made during the break. Spock was happy to be able to sit across form her and listen to her talk again, he felt slight reluctance when it was time for him to leave for his meeting.

The meeting was held in a small meeting room next to the head of departments office. There was a long table with twenty seats around the edges, most of them were already taken with staff members. He knew most of them, there were three other teachers from the xenolinguistic department, the head of the xenolinguistics department, the head of security and a security officer. Two members of the administrative staff and Admiral Jenkins. There were three members he did not know but judging from previous experience they were members of the academy board. As he took a seat next to one of the other tutors the head of department a Commander Sinclair spoke to him.

" Thank you for coming Commander Spock. We are just waiting on three more members."

Spock nodded, within a few minutes another xenolinguistics lecturer arrived a doctor who Spock knew to still be a cadet at the accademy and finally the last member of the board the academy main hand to hand combat teacher. With all members seated Commander Sinclair went around the table introducing the members of the meeting and the reasons they had been chosen to attend, the security officer had been a witness to the offense, the doctor and combat officer had apparently special knowledge that would help the board make a decision, the rest were there to offer their opinions on the matter and vote.

I shall now describe the incident we are here to discuss for those of you who are not yet aware of it. Micheal Williams a third year cadet specializing in xenolinguistics attacked another student a Niko Hursti. The incident occurred on Saturday in the hanger bay where the two cadets had just arrived back to the academy after the Christmas break. The two had apparently had several heated discussions previous to this, the reasons for the attack are unknown, Williams is currently in the brig and has offered no explanation as of yet. Hursti has already been cleared of any offense as he does not seem to have instigated the fight in any way and only acted in self defense during the fight, he caused no injury to cadet Williams. Hursti himself has obtained some serious injuries that Doctor McCoy will describe to you in a moment. Most of these injuries were caused by an iron bar that Williams picked up during the fight. Mr Marshall here tells me that Cadet Williams has advanced hand to hand training and was perfectly capable of killing cadet Hursti, Security officer Flint was the first ofn the scene and will describe to you what he observed of the attack and finally Doctor Ohakim, Sinclair gestured across the table to one of the people Spock had not recognized is a psychoanalysis and has done an evaluation of Cadet Williams mental state.

Spock listened to the dispositions made, cadet Hursti had suffered from a bleed in the lining of his brain that could have led to brain damage if had not been treated immediately, broken ribs and defensive wounds to his arms. The attack had been a serious one and Spock didn't have any doubt that not only would the cadet be dishonorably discharged but would also spend time under restraint. Doctor Ohakim had suggested that the Cadet suffered from paranoid and violent tenancies. After sixty seven minutes the floor was opened to discussion, the head of security put forward that this was not the only offense committed by Cadet Williams, Spock and the other tutors mentioned his grades and descriptions of his character. Three hours in, several possible punishments had been come up with and were put to a closed vote. Spock voted that the cadet be dishonorably discharged, serve the full amount of time in the brig for the offense and to receive some psychiatric care during that time. It was the logical solution, the cadet was disobedient, showed disrespect to the hierarchy and rules star fleet was founded on and had almost killed another cadet. He was unstable and needed to be taken away from society and rehabilitated. The members of the meeting were allowed half an hour for lunch as the votes were counted and considered. Spock ate alone, the members of the board seemed subdued. Upon reentering the room the verdict was announced. Cadet Williams was to be formally and publicly discharged. He was to remain in the brink up to that point and then be transported to a rehabilitation center where he would be reaccessed every year for a maximum of eight years.

* * *

That evening Spock sat in his office finishing writing the exam papers for his module. His office com link beeped, technically the offices were closed for the day so anybody who was trying to contact him would have already tried his apartment. He pressed a button below the screen set into his wall and saw Doctor Ohakim, he had no communication with the Doctor previous to that mornings meeting so he surmised that she must be calling about Cadet Williams.

" Commander Spock."

Doctor Ohakim.

" Cadet Williams has escaped from the brig." Spock was not shocked, the news was not expected but he recalled that the Cadets father had been a lock smith and had designed a lot of the systems that were in use at the Academy today.

I trust that the security guards are already searching the area?

" Yes, I just thought that I would contact you to warn you."

Warn me of what? I doubt Mr Williams is of any particular threat to me if he is acting logically then he will be trying to get out of the academy grounds and possibly off world to a none federation planet. I doubt he's thinking logically. Mr Spock, I was with the admiral when he delivered the verdict to Cadet Williams. He flew off the edge, he showed signs of extreme mental disturbance he made a lot of threats against staff members and for some reason a lot of them were aimed at you.

" There have been several occasions when I have reprimanded the cadet, he may hold a grudge against me. Thank you for informing me Doctor Ohakim."

" There was something else, he said something along the lines of 'I'll get his beloved protege' you might want to warn whoever it is he means."

" I do not have a protege."

Well in the state of mind that he's currently in he could simply mean somebody he's seen you with or somebody that he thinks you favor in class.

Spock thought about it, when cadet Williams had insulted Nyota he had stepped in front of her. When they had lunch together on Wednesdays he could recall Cadet Williams as having been in the mess hall at the same time. The week before the Christmas break Cadet Williams had come to his office on the Wednesday at 11:46 Spock had turned him away giving him an appointment for the next day but Cadet Williams had looked at Nyota, seen her sitting in Spocks office with a cup of chamomile tea, perhaps even heard them talking. He was going after Nyota.

* * *

Bit of a cliff hanger, hope you liked it though.


	9. Avoiding discomfort

A lot of references to the Hobbit in this one, I don't know why but Lenard Nimoys Ballad of Bilbo Bagins fills me with a childlike joy.

* * *

Spocks pulse was 14% faster than it's usual rate. He could sense the adrenaline in his bloodstream pumping around making him feel like he needed to run. He waited by the door of Nyotas apartment his palm pressed firmly to the doors keypad, it had been 16.5 seconds since he had arrived, illogically it felt longer. He knocked his other fist against the metal of the door.

"Nyota, are you there?"

The door opened in front of him, he didn't take in her expression or appearance or wait to be invited in he just walked into the apartment.

" Spock." He heard Nyota say but he didn't respond. He stalked through the main room, he did not feel anybodies presence but he had to be sure. He opened the door to the bathroom pulling the curtain back in the shower then walked back into the bedroom. Nyota was still stood by the door.

" Spock, what are you doing?"

He did not answer her, he was still not sure the room was clear. He opened each cupboard, then dropped to the floor noting there was space under the beds for a person. Finally satisfied the room was safe he turned to Nyota.

" Lock the door."

He wondered to the window checking that it was properly locked, he heard the door slide closed. It still did not feel safe. He walked passed her to the keypad on the inside of the door. He typed in his clearance codes and set a password, from now on a palm print would not be enough to open the door.

" Nyota I have set a code to your door it is 45X CH7 remember it, give it to Galia and nobody else. Do you understand me?" He turned to look at her, her eyes were wide, shocked and panicked.

" What's happening Spock?"

" Have you eaten at the mess hall within the last 69 minutes?"

" I don't think so."

" Yes or No Nyota."

" No, It was over an hour and a half ago."

" What did you eat?"

" Just an apple. Spock, what is it?"

" Do you feel well?"

" Tell me what's happening. Right now."

" Nyota."

" No, I will not answer anymore questions until you explain yourself."

Spock raised his hand to touch her forehead, 36.4 C, within the normal range for a human. She shook her head, his hand dropped from her skin, he had felt her anger even though he had been concentrating on determining her temperature. His hand rested on her shoulder for a second until he gently pressed two fingers too her carotid artery.

" Spock, what are you doing?" He looked down into her puzzled anxious eyes, he had not realized he was standing so close to her, closer than he'd even been, their bodies were almost touching.

" I am taking your pulse."

" I know that, but why?"

" You would not tell me if you're feeling well."

" I'm feeling fine."

' Your pulse is slightly elevated."

" That's because you're freaking me out."

He dropped his hand from her skin and took a step away from her.

" I am sorry that I have scared you." He said honestly.

" Just tell me what's going on."

" There was a very small possibility that you had been poisoned."

She stared at him.

" How small? and based on what?"

" 0.003% chance."

" Spock, you're acting irrationally."

" Yes." He admitted, realizing what she said was true. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for two minutes, he focused on the sound of his breathing, then his heartbeat, slowing it. When he felt calmer and felt he could again act logically he opened his eyes to the puzzled face of Nyota. She was beautiful, lips slightly parted eyes wide.

" Nyota, I have something to tell you, will you sit down." She pulled the chair out from under the desk, but sat down on the bed, Spock assumed that the chair was for himself and sat on it.

" Nyota, you know of Cadet Williams."

" Yes, he used to follow me around and make inappropriate comments to me in between my classes."

" Cadet Williams is going to be dishonorably discharged, on Saturday morning he attacked another student. He had been in the brig from that moment up to sometime between 63 and 67 minutes ago."

" He was released?"

" No, he managed to escape, the security guards did not take into account that he had substantial knowledge of the security system and locks that the brig uses."

" You were searching my room because you think he will come here?" She said her voice puzzled.

" Yes. He has made several threats that I believe were aimed at you."

" You believe they were aimed at me? What does that mean?"

" He made threats against me specifically that he would 'get' my protege. I cannot think of any other student that he could be referring to. He is acting illogically, I do not know how I could have avoided this and now you are possibly in danger due to your connection to me."

" This isn't your fault Spock."

" Indeed it is not."

" Then stop sounding like you're blaming yourself."

" I am merely saying that you would not be a target if it were not for the fact that I have been seen to show favoritism to you."

" Williams is mentally deranged Spock, and if you remember rightly I did throw him half way across the mess hall."

He didn't point out that she had barely thrown him a meter and a half whereas the mess hall was close to eighty meters in length and thirty in width so that she had only thrown him 0.018% across the length of the room.

"So what do we do?" She asked him.

" The security guards are currently searching the grounds, but until he is reprimanded it is not safe for you to be alone. I think you should spend the night at my apartment, I can guard you better there. Admittedly he also made threats against me but I believe he will target you first and as it is not common for students to be in teachers apartments I doubt he would look for you there."

" Okay. Just let me pack a bag."

He nodded, she stood up and he watched her as she efficiently got a duffel bag from her closet and threw in items of clothing then headed to the bathroom to collect her toothbrush. Coming back into the room she looked at her bed.

" Do I need a sleeping bag?"

" No, I have spare sheets, though I suggest you pack anything that will add to your comfort and anything that you will need for tomorrow. We cannot know if it will be safe for you return to your apartment. Cadet Williams record reports that he had some training geared towards covert operations, he knows how to avoid detection."

She nodded, and opened one of her cupboards, Spock could see past her and saw a shelf of books and holovid cases. She studied them for 1 minute thirty- four seconds before picking something up and putting it into her bag then she selected a PADD and an electronic book from her desk.

'" I'm ready." He stood up, took her bag from her.

" I have planned a route to my apartment that will keep us in camera range for 76% of the distance, stay in front of me and walk quickly, avoid shadows and blind spots, do not turn corners ahead of me."

She nodded and they headed to his apartment. He kept close to her, less than a foot behind her, his eyes darted everywhere, looked into every shadow. He noted where every camera they passed was, they walked passed three pairs of security guards, Spock would make Nyota pause every time they came close to them whilst he quickly checked that none of them were Williams in disguise. At Spocks apartment he typed in a new code for the door and had Nyota press her palm to the keypad once more so that it would open on her command. He checked through his apartment in the same way that he had checked hers, all rooms and cupboards were scrutinized. When he returned to the front room he found Nyota standing nervously, she was looking around even though she had been there before.

" You can relax now Nyota, you shall be safe here."

She did not seem to relax, she shifted from one foot to the other and Spock also found himself at a lose as to what to do, he had planned to spend the night reading through the latest reports on the enterprise. He wondered what she had planned for the evening, was it possible for them to continue on with there plans or would they have to act to accommodate each other. He would be satisfied to accommodate her, he wished to see what she did with her spare time.

" You said earlier that you had only eaten an apple, am I right in thinking that you have not yet had your evening meal?" He asked her.

" No, I was just going to get something from the replicator when you came in."

" You may use my replicator, that is if you do not wish to partake of my evening meal."

" You were going to cook?"

" Yes, some fried vegetables and spices."

" A stir fry. Is there enough for me?"

" Yes. I shall prepare it now."

' Do you want any help?"

" No, It is a simple dish it only requires one person to make it."

He headed into his kitchen and took the fresh vegetables out of the cold storage unit. Then he reached into his cupboards picking out certain complimentary spices. He proceeded to chop the vegetables into equal sized strips. As he chopped he listened to Nyota, for a while she seemed to stay standing in the same spot where she had been since entering then he heard the rustling and slight thud of her bag hitting the floor and her footsteps moving across the room. She paused for forty three seconds and then moved again, she sat down then, he heard the chair creek. Now hardly making any noise he concentrated on the sound of her respiration and heartbeat, if it elevated even slightly he would go into the front room. This way he knew she was safe but was able to give her some space and privacy. He poured rice into a pan of water and he placed all the vegetables with some oil in a deep wok. Then knowing he had a few minutes till the vegetables would require stirring he walked quietly into the front room to check on Nyota.

She did not seem aware of his entrance, she was sat sideways from him in the high backed armchair that he kept for guest to his apartment, he found it too soft and giving for his own preferences. Nyota had taken her shoes off and her feet were folded in under her. She seemed absorbed in the book that was resting on her knee, one hand steadying it the other turning the pages softly as if the book were precious. He looked at her, taking in her relaxed position. No Vulcan ever sat like that, the slumping of her shoulders and the slightly curved back posture could lead to lumbar discomfort in the future, he couldn't tell her though. He did not wish to disturb this peaceful moment after she had been under such stress within the last hour. He also wished her to stay in this position a little longer so that he could commit it to his memory. The serious expression on her face, the slight pursing of her lips and the little crinkle on her forehead and the quick darting of her eyes. Those eyes that now stared up at him curiously. He knew it was considered impolite to be watching her so intently and he had to speak to hide his social taboo.

" What are you reading?" He asked her. She looked down at the book, her expression seemed a little guilty and he wondered as to why. As far as he could tell she was not doing anything wrong.

" I'm sorry I should have asked first." She said standing up.

" Asked what first?" She held the book up for him to see, it was his copy of The Hobbit a book she had mentioned enjoying when she had previously been in his apartment.

" You did not need to ask to read the book Nyota, I was merely curious as to what you were focusing so intently upon."

She looked down at the book, a slight smile came to her lips and she sat back down in the chair though this time her back was straight and her feet were upon the floor, for some reason she did not look as comfortable.

" I was reading the chapter Bilbo and the drawves escape from elf kings hall."

" Why were you reading from the middle of the book and not from the beginning?"

" Because this is my favorite part. I find it comforting somehow. Familiar."

" I could not deny you anything that you find comfort in. I must continue cooking now."

"Okay." She smiled at him and he felt his heartbeat race for a moment then he turned from her and went to stir the vegetables. He started adding spices to the wok, chopped red chillies, ginger, soy sauce, a number of others, all added at slightly different times just the right amount of time for each to bring the fullness of flavor out. Cooking was a like a mathematical equation to Spock, all measures and timing to get the right result.

His small kitchen had a table set to one side, it had one folding chair set under it, the table would not offer much one for two people but as it was the only one he had apart from the low lying coffee table in the front room it would have to do. He went through the front room, Nyotas eyes following him and he got another folding chair from the cupboard in there and carried it back to the table. He heard footsteps and turned to see Nyota had followed him, she looked at the table and then walked passed him, she opened the cupboard where he kept his plates and she continued to lay the table as he finished cooking the food and strained the rice. He would have put the food into large bowls so that they could help themselves but the lack of space on the table would not allow for that.

" Nyota, would you like to help yourself to however much you wish to eat."

" Thank you Spock."

She walked passed him and placed food on her plate then sat back at the table. Spock did the same then poured them both glasses of water. She gave a small smile as he sat it down in front of her. He felt a little uncomfortable as he sat down with her, he was not used to this level of domesticality he did not believe he had ever cooked food for anybody other than himself. Cooking was not necessary, there was a mess hall and there were replicators so he need not spend his time on it. However he occasionally felt a need for certain vitamins and amino acids that were not present in the meals offered on that particular day from the mess hall and the food from the replicator with it's simplified molecular strands did not fill his requirements as well as fresh food.

He proceeded to eat, he only had one president of how to react when eating with her and that was at the restaurant, conversation had come easily there but here there was a silence that wasn't entirely comfortable. He did not feel the need to always talk in the presence of others but he and Nyota talked frequently and always with ease, tonight was different.

" It' nice." Nyota said, gesturing to the food.

" I am glad you enjoy it. What do you wish to do once we have eaten? Did you have any plans for tonight?"

" No plans, I've finished all my work, I've spent the day revising and I was just going to chill out."

" Chill out?"

" I was going to watch an old movie."

" I do not tend to watch movies but on this occasion I shall make an exception."

" You don't have to, I'm happy to just read."

" You do not have to change your plans Nyota, I shall watch the Movie."

" It's A midsummer nights dream."

" I have not heard of it."

" It' Shakespeare." Her voice was a note higher than usual.

" I have heard of Shakespeare. I read Macbeth, it showed the Human race at their most illogical."

" I would be very interested in your opinions on this movie then."

" I would be glad to give them."

" You weren't meant to be working tonight were you?"

" My job tonight is simply to make sure that you are safe and contented."

They finished their meal in silence, and then efficiently and in parallel motions they cleaned their plates and set them back in the cupboard. Nyota followed Spock into the front room where he opened the panel set into the wall that hid the large entertainment screen, he had only used it once since he had moved into the apartment. Nyota routed in her bag and then came up behind him, handing him the small green chip, he inserted it into the slot. Nyota was sat on the couch next to the coffee table, it faced the screen so it was a logical place to sit but he hesitated, should he sit next to her? Or would that be considered inappropriate? He decided it would not as long as he sat as far from her as possible, on the small couch that would not be far. As he sat down 8.6 inches away from her she moved, she put her legs up folding herself into the same position he'd seen her in before, this brought her exactly three inches closer to him

" Do you mind?" She asked.

" Do you mean if I mind you putting your feet up?"

" Yes."

" No, I do not mind."

The film started and although Spock could pick up the strange plot his mind was not fully upon it. She was so close to him that he did not have to concentrate to hear that steady breathing and heartbeat that let him know she was safe. Yet he wanted her even closer to him, that five point six inches seemed perilous, she did not seem safe enough, she was not in his arms, he could not feel her warmth and her softness against him. It was not a sexual desire, it was not as it was when he watched her in the water, there were no stirrings in him. He simply wished to have her closer, safe, it didn't have to be skin to skin contact he just wanted to feel her heartbeat against his side. Spock could not pull her closer to him, and to have her so close yet not be able to touch her was uncomfortable. He decided to go and change the covers of his bed for her, he stood up, her eyes followed him.

" Are you okay?" She asked.

" Yes, I noticed you yawned a few minutes ago, I am going to go change the sheets of my bed so you may retire at the end of the movie if you wish."

" Um, okay." She seemed slightly puzzled but Spock could not think of any further explanation that would remove the expression.

He walked into his bedroom and paused at the sight of his bed, all staff apartments were equipped with a double bed, it was redundant though, he always slept on the left. He had seen his bed everyday since he had moved in two years previous but this time it was different. This time Nyota would be sleeping in it and he could imagine her sleeping form lying there, he imagined that she would sleep on her side, in the middle of the bed with her hair down and spread against the white linen of his pillow, he imagined sitting at the edge of the bed and brushing that dark hair away from her face in the morning. He stopped himself just as he thought of himself lying next to her under the covers, bare skin next to his. it was too much, it was not yet possible so why torture himself.

He stripped the bed and put the laundry in the basket where it would be collected on Tuesday night and returned to him clean on Wednesday morning. He took the fresh sheets from the linen closet in his room and proceeded to make the bed. He smoothed the material under his hands, knowing that soon it would be resting on top her, she would be safe and that was enough he told himself.

He stepped back into the front room, he could not avoid her eyes the door was two foot to the left of the screen. She smiled as he entered. He went to sit back next to her, this time he closed the distance between them slightly, three inches, he was even more uncomfortable, why was he doing this to himself?

" You haven't missed all that much, Puck has just changed Bottoms head into that of an Ass and Titania is in love with him due to the liquid from the love in idleness that Puck put on her eyes under the command of Oberon." Nyota explained to him.

" I see, this has a strange story line. These characters love is superficial and vain and it makes them act illogically. It was almost as if this were written by a Vulcan to warn against blindly following ones emotions."

Nyota stared at him for a moment then burst out laughing. This time he did not feel the same response as on previous occasions, he noted it with interest.

" Have I said something humorous?"

" I was just thinking of Shakespeare as a Vulcan."

" That is a humorous thought?"

"Yes." She stopped laughing and looked at him closely. " Have I offended you?"

" Vulcans do not get offended. It is an illogical response as it serves no purpose, and I doubt Shakespeare was actually a Vulcan although space travel was possible for my species at that point they did not have much interest in it, and even less interest in other species who had not yet discovered warp speed travel."

"So Elvis wasn't a Vulcan?"

" No, I do not believe he was. Nyota, are you, as the Humans say, making fun of me?"

" Yes, I guess I am."

" I do not understand why, you have never done so before."

" I guess I'm more comfortable around you than I used to be. Humans tend to tease each other when they feel comfortable with each other, when they're friends."

" We are friends?"

" Aren't we?"

" I would be an honour if you considered me your friend."

She smiled widely and he felt that strange tightness in his stomach and at that moment his feelings for her and his wish to touch her were not entirely innocent. He turned his body slightly so he would face her fully.

" Nyota, may I ask something of you? As a friend."

" Yes."

" Please do not tease me."

She gave a short laugh.

" Okay, sorry Spock, I won't do it again."

" Thank you."

He turned back to finish watching the movie, exactly a minute after turning away from her Nyota leaned in closer to him. Spock assumed it was unintentional, she seemed to fidget a lot. After three more lines of dialogue her arm brushed his, he choose to ignore it but he felt his heartbeat increase again, she had a habit of making him respond in that way. The movie continued without further incident or conversation, Nyota yawned once again a minute and a half before the movie ended. At the end he shut the screen off and took out the small chip handing it to Nyota who put it back into her bag.

" I will not give my opinions on the film now, you appear tired and you have intermediate fitness at seven tomorrow morning. It would be logical if you retired now."

" Yes, I was thinking that myself.' She stood up then hesitated.

"Spock, where's your bathroom?"

Spock pointed to a door on the far wall, Nyota nodded and picked up her duffel bag and headed towards it. Spock went back into his bedroom, he went to his cupboard and got out the soft sweatpants he usually wore to sleep in, he didn't usually wear anything else to bed but decide tonight it would be appropriate to do so, he was searching through his tops trying to find one that would be comfortable when Nyota came in. She stood in the doorway looking slightly nervous she was wearing some kind of sweatpants but in a bright yellow. She wore a tank top in the same color, he looked at her for a moment, his eyes were immediately drawn to the soft curves under the tank top. He looked away and picked a t-shirt he usual exercised in. He laid his clothes on the bed and then looked back up at Nyota still standing nervously in the doorway.

" Where are you sleeping?" She asked.

" I shall sleep on the couch tonight." He answered walking over to the linen closet and picking out a spare pillow and blanket.

" I could take the couch if you want." Nyota offered. Spock found it a curious thing to say, he had offered her the bed, it was much more comfortable than the couch and she would sleep better in it, so why ask to sleep on the couch instead.

" You would sleep better in the bed." He answered her, he collected his sheets and clothes and went out into the front room. He turned just as he exited.

" Good night Nyota."

" Good night Spock."

Nyota called him again just as the door was about to shut behind him, he put his hand out to stop it.

" Spock."

" Yes, Nyota."

" Thank you."

He nodded. "You are welcome."

In the front room he laid the pillow and blanket on the bed and picking up his PADD sat down to read the enterprise reports. He managed to settle into some form of tranquility, stopping every few minutes to focus in on Nyotas heartbeat. It was strange how that heartbeat seemed to be becoming the most important thing in his life. After exactly an hour Spock got up and turned on the light in the kitchen, then turned off the light in the front room, this would allow him to see a little but not be light enough to wake Nyota. He went over to the bedroom door and opened it hoping that the quiet beep and the sliding of the door would not disturb Nyota. He looked in, he could make out the form under the covers. She was safe. He closed the door again and turned on the light and settled back into the chair. He did not plan on sleeping tonight, he would rest for a few hours on the couch but he would stay awake and alert. Cadet Williams was still out there so Nyota was still not safe, even here in his apartment.

After another hour he had finished the reports on the Enterprise and had moved on to reports from the Faragot, the captain of the star ship had recently been involved in peace talks with the Klingon's. Spock did not expect there to be a resolution within the next few years so knowing what grievances the Klingon's had with the federation would be useful when he came to serve on the Enterprise.

His internal clock told him it was time to check on Nyota again. He got up, turned of the lights again and went to the bedroom door. He paused this time, confident that by this point she should be fully asleep, he lost track of time as he watched her sleeping form and the gentle movements of her body as she slept. He was almost regretful when he returned to the front room. He went and laid on the sofa in the dark, he would rest for a while. For twenty- two minutes he stayed lying on the sofa his mind drifting as his ears listened to the sounds outside the apartment. Then he heard footsteps coming from inside the bedroom. He concentrated on it, the footfall was to light to be that of Williams. It was probably Nyoya but he stayed tensed, ready to jump up and protect , just in case. The bedroom door opened and he saw Nyotas form outlined in the doorway. She walked quietly around him, she must have thought he was asleep. He listened to her as she walked towards the two side by side doors that lead to the bathroom and his meditation area, she went into his meditation area, he had expected her to go into the bathroom, he could see no reason why she would go into the other room.

" Lights on." Spock said, the light flicked on and Nyota spun round quickly to look at him.

" I thought you were asleep."

" I am sorry that I startled you Nyota, but that is a private space."

" It's not the bathroom is it?"

" No, indeed it is not. It is a meditation room. The bathroom is the door to the right."

" Right. I'm sorry."

" You were not to know."

When she came back out the bathroom she hovered for a moment, she seemed to want to say something.

" Would you like some herbal tea? I have some that helps induce sleep." Spock asked.

" No, I'm fine thank you."

" You seem to be having trouble sleeping again, are you afraid?"

" No, you're not sleeping."

" You're not sleeping because I am not sleeping?"

" Yes, I'm worried you're uncomfortable on the couch, and you keep coming into the bedroom."

" The couch is uncomfortable but it will suffice. I do not need as much sleep as you do and one night without sleep will not affect me in any negative manner. I was not aware that you were aware I was coming into the bedroom, but I merely wished to check you were okay. I did not mean to disturb you." He did not like that she knew that he had stood at the door and watched her.

" Let me sleep on the couch." She said.

" No. I will not let you be uncomfortable."

" Well I won't let you be uncomfortable either."

" You are being emotional and illogical."

" Get used to it." She snapped then she blushed slightly.

" I'm sorry Spock, I guess all this is getting to me a little."

" I will keep you safe Nyota." He promised her.

" I know you will." She looked at him the expression on her face a kind of soft seriousness.

" What do you wish from me Nyota?"

" I wish you to sleep in the bed."

" We seem to be going in circles, I wish you to be comfortable, the bed is the most comfortable place for you to sleep."

" It's a big bed."

" Indeed." He did not see where the conversation was heading.

"Big enough for two."

" Nyota if you are suggesting we both sleep then I have to inform you that would be highly inappropriate."

" I trust you."

" Nyota, I could get a warning just for having you in my apartment." Spock confessed hoping that she would understand how far he had already broken the rules in an attempt to keep her safe. It did not have the desired effect. Nyota stormed into his bedroom and excited a moment later her duffel bag in her hands.

" I'll leave then." She said as she headed to the door.

Spock strode in front of her he reached his hand out touching her shoulder lightly. He could not let her leave, not whilst cadet Williams was still on the loose and planning some kind of unsolicited revenge upon her.

" Nyota, please stay. I only wish for you to be safe. I need to know you are safe."

She stared up at him, her face so close to his and he could feel the embarrassment, irritation and confusion she was experiencing but he could feel something deeper, something he was not sure he wanted to explore he felt he would get lost if he did. He removed his hand from her flesh closing the connection between them.

" You must rest, and I shall rest with you If that is what you wish."

" It is."

He nodded and took her duffel bag from her.

" Please go back to bed Nyota, I shall join you in a moment. I need to get changed." He explained.

He watched her walk back into his bedroom the night had taken some unexpected turns, a few hours he had hardly dared imagine himself in bed next to her, the thought had seemed to much. A few hours ago sitting three inches from her had made him feel as if he were losing control of his emotions, now he would have to lie with her. He would stay as far away from her as possible but he felt he would feel a similar discomfort. He changed into his night clothes in the bathroom and checked the security system once more before walking into the bedroom. Nyota was under the covers she kept her back to him as he walked to the opposite side of the bed, flipped the covers over and lied down on the mattress, he managed to keep just under a foot between them. He turned to face away from her, he did not usually sleep on his side but tonight he would, it would give the both of them some privacy.

" Lights out." Spock said, the computer turned the lights off.

They lay in silence, Spock could tell from her breathing that she was not yet asleep.

" Spock?"

" I am here Nyota."

" Do you remember when we were in the pool?" Spock knew she was replying to the second occasion, when he had seen the bruise on her leg and she had splashed him and he had made her laugh loudly.

"Yes."

" I wish we weren't interrupted."

" Why are you saying this now?"

" I don't know, no reason I guess. Goodnight Spock."

" Goodnight Nyota."

He had the desire to touch her, to know what she was thinking to feel that thrilling jolt and warmth that he had whenever he touched her skin. Just one touch, he wouldn't let it go any further than that.

" Nyota." He said turning inwards so that he was facing her bed. She turned also so that they were facing each other in the dark, still a safe nine inches between them. Spock reached out his hand to her. His index and middle finger stretched out and the other two curled into his palm. He wondered if she would deny him this simple touch, there would be an awkwardness between them if she did, but he felt she would not, she had shown no resistance to his touch before.

" Give me your hand." He requested.

He watched as she slowly lifted her hand and mirroring his gesture pressed her two finger tips to his. He immediately felt that familiar jolt, it seemed to travel all the way down his spine and rest in his stomach, he heard her gasp and knew that she had felt the same sensation. Carefully and slowly he moved his fingers gently stroking down hers. He felt a spreading warmth throughout his body and he made no attempt to stop the telepathic bond that started to form between them. He felt her wonder, her delight and a gentle warm spark of energy and light that was Nyota herself, her soul, her katra.

" What is that?" She asked him her voice low and breathless. He removed his hand from hers reluctantly, the connection was severed and he felt a strange pang of loneliness.

" It is a Vulcan gesture of affection." He wondered if she would be mad, if she would rebuke him but he sensed her smile.

" It's like being hugged from the inside." He was glad that she could feel the same from the gesture as a Vulcan woman would, it had been a possibility that with no telepathic sensors in her fingers that it would have no meaning to her.

" I guess that would be close to the Human equivalent."

She was silent, he wondered if she could sense what he felt, that it was more intimate than anything on earth, you could sense the persons soul. She would have felt him, his emotions and life within her. And the remarkable girl had allowed it, she had wondered at it, she had not backed away scared. He had opened himself to somebody and not been rejected, it made him ache a little in the vicinity of his heart, she was a good match for him.

He heard her movement, she was drawing close to him, he had not expected this but he did not back away from her, she had not backed away from him. She was resting close to him, she leaned in a little her soft curves pressed against him for a moment and then he felt her warm lips brush his check, it was only for a split second and then she was moving away from him her breath tickling his skin and then as he was still marveling at the mixture of a slight tickle and a burning flame that her touch had produced she turned to face away from him.

"Goodnight Spock." She whispered, her voice happy.

" Good night my Nyota."

* * *

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and that it wasn't too sweet, for those of you hoping for a little action (of the none sexual sort) it is coming.


	10. indiscretions and flirting

Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Trek and I also don't own the song " just a little heartache." Or Shaksperes forty seventh sonnet. Bit of a music theme to this one as you can tell.

* * *

Spock had not slept, he had planned on keeping awake the whole night to listen out in case cadet Williams tried to break into the apartment in some way but he doubted he would have slept even if he hadn't been. His body remembered every millimeter of her from that split second when she had been pressed up against him, when she had kissed him. He had watched her all night eventually his eyes adapting to the dark so that he could make out her watched the serene expression of her face as she slept, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the flickering of her eyes in R.E.M. sleep. Close to two in the morning she began to dream, she twisted in her sleep the covers getting pulled away from where they had been tucked close to her chin to rest on her shoulders. He was transfixed by her and the idea that she could be dreaming of him as he had dreamed of her. With her asleep he was free to look at her for hours without her becoming uncomfortable, he took in her long neck and ran his finger along her clavicle to the dip in the base of her throat and brushed her silky long hair away from her face. Then feeling slightly guilty he turned away and waited for her to awaken. But as she finally started to stir he felt he was unable to face her waking up next to him. He felt as if the wonder of her coming to consciousness and opening the beautiful ever curious eyes after a night of lying close to her and watching over her would take away the control of his emotions. He could imagine kissing her as she awoke, not as she had kissed him but to kiss her lips a deep and long kiss with whispered words that once spoken could never be unheard. Too young, against the rules, not yet.

He got up quietly and taking a towel out the cupboard went to take a shower. The hot water streaming down his back and chest seemed to wake him up to reality, he had a third year Klingon lecture to give at 9:00 and first year federation languages at 13:00 in between that he had to make the arrangements for room placements for the new term in February, and run the syllabus for his short extra credit course in Vulcan etiquette. He heard Nyotas timid footsteps, she would hear the sound of the shower from the front room and know that he was still in the apartment. Turning off the hot water he dried himself off and put back on the sweatpants he had slept in, his fresh clothes were in the bedroom. Turning on the extractor fan to get rid of the steam in the room he walked out into the front room. Nyota was sitting on the sofa, in her yellow pajamas, her hair was delightfully mussed and she was staring at him with a sleepy expression. He distinctly saw her eyes sweep down his bare chest and then she blushed slightly.

" Good morning Nyota, I trust you are well."

" Yes thank you, yourself ?"

" I am well. "

" May I have a shower?"

Spock thought the sudden image of a naked Nyota running down her breasts and stomach. He turned and walked towards the bedroom as he talked.

" Yes, I'll get you a towel." Spock heard her footsteps follow him into the bedroom. His breath hitched, it seemed to take him a lot of concentration just to walk over to the cupboard and pick out a towel. When he turned around towel in hand she was crouched over her duffel bag routing through it.

" I've forgotten my shower gel." She said looking up at him.

" You can use mine, or I can use the replicator to make you some."

" I'll use yours, if that's alright."

He nodded and handed her the towel, he watched her as she walked out of the room her fresh uniform tucked under her arms. He stood staring after her for a moment and then went back to the cupboard to change into his usual grey uniform. Showered and dressed he headed to his kitchen to make a cup of tea then he settled down on the sofa waiting for Nyota to finish in the shower so that they could breakfast together. He could hear the sound of the running water through the walls but after a few moments he could make out soft singing. He found it odd for Nyota to be singing in the shower, but it also fascinated him he listened to the words.

I'm about to go crazy, i don't know what to do

Coz I can't get you out of my mind.

And my heartbeat is raising when I see you at school,

and I guess I'm in trouble this time..

You don't know how I'm feeling, you don't know who I am.

And I don't know if you'd understand.

When i see you walk by there's a sting in my heart,

because I've been in love with you right from the start.

But it's not a big deal it's just something I feel.

It's just a little heartache, just a little heartache of mine..

All I want is to hold you, all i need is to know,

all I yern for one plaid of sign.

But I don't dare to tell you and I'm to shy to call,

so I guess I'm in trouble this time.

He sat down whilst taking in her singing, her tones were slightly off but unlike the singing of Vulcans there was emotions behind the voice. There was a beeping from his com link, turning his attention away from the singing he pressed the button on the coffee table to make the screen pop up , it was Christopher Pike.

" Christopher I was not expecting to hear from you."

" Yeah well, when I checked in on the office this morning I got told there was a deranged prisoner on the loose and he's going after you."

" Cadet Williams, if you remember was the man who accosted Cadet Uhura in the mess hall."

" I remember him."

" He was in the brig facing a dishonorable;e discharge due to attacking another cadet."

" Why's he after you?"

" We have had some issues, but Doctor Ohakim said that he shows signs of paranoia."

" But yor alright?"

"Yes. The fact that cadet Williams has made threats against me does not concern me."

Spock heard the bathroom door open, he did not turn around as he heard hurried footsteps and the swish of the bedroom door closing. On screen Chris leaned forwards in his seat craning his neck it looked as though he were trying to look passed Spock.

" Spock?"

" Yes, Chris."

" Did I just see a woman walk passed the back of you?"

" It is a possibility."

Chris stared at him then gave a deep chuckle.

" Who is she Spock?"

" It is Cadet Uhura."

Chris's face dropped, he looked puzzled and curious and a little panicked. Spock felt an explanation was required.

" Cadet Williams also made threats against Cadet Uhura, I was concerned for her." He paused at admitting the emotion , it seemed a difficult thing to say. " I brought her to my apartment to keep her safe.'

Chris looked relieved.

" Whew, no indiscretions then."

Spock hesitated, he could not tell Chris that in actual fact her had acted rather improperly with Nyota, not with Nyota a few feet away. He lowered his voice.

" I have to escort cade Uhura to breakfast now. I shall talk to you tommorrow night."

" Spock." Chris's voice had a note of curiosity and warning.

" Goodbye Chris, have a good day recruiting."

He shut the com link down and turned to look towards the door.

" You can come out now Nyota." He said loudly.

Nyota came out his bedroom, her hands held behind her back. With her came the smell of his mint shower gel, it was somehow satisfying to think that at that moment she was carrying the same scent as he was.

" I didn't mean to disturb your conversation."

" That is okay Nyota, I was going to contact the security centre but Captain Pike had just confirmed that Cadet Williams has not yet been recaptured."

" What's next then?"

" I shall accompany you to breakfast, to your first class and too lunch. I will gain a better knowledge of what is happening this morning so at lunch I will tell you if you can return to your apartment or not. Nyota I trust that you will keep to the main walk ways and busy areas when you are changing classes this morning."

" There are people I can walk with Spock, i'm not going to take any stupid risks."

" I doubted that you would Nyota. Are you ready for breakfast?"

" Do you have a spare bag I can borrow so I don't have to carry the duffel around all day."

" Of course."

He went to his closet and found a spare shoulder bag, she transferred all the items she would require for her classes. Then he walked with her to the door.

" Nyota, please remember that outside this room you are a cadet and i am your commander."

" Are you saying that inside this room we're not." Nyota smiled and then to Spocks surprise she raised two fingers in the gesture that they'd made last night. He hesitated then touched his fingers too hers for the briefest of seconds, only long enough to get the briefest burst of warmth and tenderness.

" I am aways your commanding officer Nyota, I am also always your friend but one must be seen and the other must not."

" I understand." She said smiling.

" I have every confidence that you will keep discrete."

hey headed to the mess hall in companionable silence and picked out different fresh foods to eat then sat at a table at the far end of the hall.

" _Can we talk in your dialect?" _Nyota asked in between mouth-fulls of porridge.

_" More practice?"_

_" I just like hearing you speak it, it's more natural to you."_

_" Cadet." _He said, to remind her of what he'd said as they'd left his apartment.

"_ But nobody else speaks the language." _She protested.

_" There is more to communication than words, and I would not want you falling into bad habits."_

_" Okay, I'll behave."_

_" Thank you, what do you wish to talk about?"_

_" I don't know."_

_" Then may I ask, why were you singing in the shower this morning?" _

Nyota blushed slightly.

" _You heard that." _He nodded. "_I have a thing for late twentieth and early twenty-first century music."_

_" That does not explain the shower part."_

_" I was just happy I guess."_

_" I am glad you are happy, especially given the current situation." She smiled in response and they continued eating for a few minutes._

_" Do Vulcans even sing?" Nyota asked him._

_" Yes, though it is not the same, they do not show emotion in their voices."_

_" You do."_

_" Do I?" _

_" Yes, it's very subtle most of the time but it's there."

* * *

  
_

Once Spock had escorted Nyota safely to her fitness class. He headed to his office, Commander Sinclair was never in his office earlier than 09:00 so he would get some work done while he waited. At 8:50 he closed his computer terminal and set off to Commander Sinclair's office. He pressed the intercom button and announced himself. When he entered Sinclair was sat at his desk drinking a cup of coffee.  
" Ah Spock, it;s been a long time since you had cause to come to my office. Sit down." He gestured to the chair in front of the desk. Spock sat, he had thought carefully about what he was going to say.

' Commander Sinclair, I trust that you up to date on the Williams situation."

" Yes, it's pretty much travelled round the campus that the Cadet was making threats about you before he escaped."

" Yes sir, but he also made threat against a person that he called my 'protoge' I believe that he meant Cadet Uhura as I have been seen to have taken a personal interest in her and have been giving her extra help in languages that are not on the syllabus."

Comander Sinclair suddenly went pale and stood up, Spock was not aware as to what he had said to cause this reaction.

" Cadet Uhura?" Sinclair asked.

" She is safe Sir."

Sinclair sat back down.

" I'm an old man Spock, don't scare me like that."

" I did not mean to scare you sir."

" I'm glad you've shown and interest in the girl Spock, if she does well then we'll get the go ahead to recruit anybody over the age of thirteen, if they're bloody good that is. If she had been attacked then that's off the table."

Spock nodded, he did not want to point out that he was far more concerned for Nyota herself and not for Star Treks policies.

" So, why exactly are you here Spock, do you want me to put her under some sort of guard until this matter is sorted, because I have to say I don't think it's very likely Cadet Williams is coming back."

" That is my opinion also Sir. I just thought that I should inform you that as Cadet Uhura seemed to be in some danger last night and her roommate is not arriving back at the academy till tomorrow I made the decision to tell her that about the threats made against her and to take her to my apartment for the night. "

" Did you not think to tell somebody that Cadet Williams had been threatening her and let the security guards handle it."

" On retrospect that might have been a better idea but I was told to make extra effort to protect and guide Miss Uhura."

" Well, I suppose there's no harm done. I know you would never do anything, " he paused " dodgy I guess. You Vulcans are above all that."

Spock did not respond, he did not know how to.

" Well Spock, I guess you've thoroughly scared the kid telling her about it all."

" It is safer for her that she knows as she will not take any risks."

" True but what I'm saying is the girls probably going to be terrified going back to her apartment alone tonight. Your going to have to take her in for another night, just till her roommate gets back. I'll okay it just be very careful what you say to her we don't want any students making accusations against our teachers."

" I do not think that Cadet Uhura would make any accusations against me."

" I know, you'd never do anything that would give her cause too but teenage girls are notoriously fickle so take care."

" Very well."

" Take care Spock, I trust you."

" Thank you Sir."

Spock left Sinclair's office feeling a little uncomfortable.

* * *

Spock meet Nyota at 12:00 to escort her to lunch, he felt a moment of relief when he saw her safe.

" Commander." She greeted him at the door of her classroom. Spock noticed that other students were watching them as they walked passed. He walked with her to the lunch room where they lined up. Kendra was serving again today, she smiled widely when she saw him.

" Hello Commander Spock."

" Hello Kendra, I hope you are well?"

" Yes, fine thank you. You're so sweet to always ask."

Spock inclined his head, he did not like being called sweet.

" No Plomett today."

" No, I can see that. I will have the vegetable bake please."

She started serving him chatting as she did so.

" You know I'm allowed to attend some of the classes whilst I work here and I was thinking as it doesn't interfere with my schedule I would take your course in Vulcan etiquette."

" I shall add your name to the register, there are only twenty places and last year they went quickly as a lot of students need the extra credit when they are getting low marks in their modules."

"I'm kinda nervous, it;s been so long since I took any classes, perhaps you can give me some one to one tutoring."

" If you require it but you may be underestimating your abilities Kendra."

" I'm taking Vulcan etiquette." Nyota said from behind him, Spock turned to her he was puzzled she'd never mentioned to him that she desired to take the class and she did not need the extra credit.

" Perhaps we can help each other out." She continued. Kendra smiled sweetly at her but Spock found there to be something rather menacing about it.

" Ah, you're such a sweet kid." Kendra replied her tone slightly off.

Spock watched the two women starring at each other and deciding the what ever was happening Nyota could probably handle it herself he picked up his lunch tray thanked Kendra and headed for his usual table. Nyota joined him a minute and fifty seconds later.

"_ I am not going to ask you what is going on between you and Kendra."_

_" No, I'm not going to ask you what's going on between you or Kendra either. I know it's not any of my business."_

_" There is nothing going on between me and Kendra."_

_" I know, but she thinks there is or at least could be."_

_" I have no interest In Kendra Cadet." _

She nodded at him then smiled.

" _I know that Commander, I just got a bit angry at her flirting with you." _Spock looked across at Kendra watching her as she worked, he had talked to her three times a week since she had begun working at the academy September of the previous year.

_" Was she flirting? I tend to miss these things."_

Nyota laughed and Spock felt all the familiar feelings. He adored it when she laughed.

_" Anyhow, i have some bad news." _He begun, though in fact the news had pleased him and he hoped it would please Nyota.

_" Oh?"_

"_ I talked to the head of department today about the Williams situation and he believes that you are quite safe now but you shouldn't return to your dorm room until your roommate returns, just as a precaution. So you will have to stay with me again tonight." _Nyota smiled at his words.

_"Thank you Spock."

* * *

_

At 17:00 Nyota's final class of the day ended and Spock was there to meet her.

"Cadet."

" Commander." Spock noticed more curious eyes looking at them.

" _Do you wish to collect some fresh clothes from your dorm room?"_

_" Yes, that would be nice." _

They walked together to her dorm room talking naturally about there days classes, he as lecturer her as student but both of similar opinions. When they arrived at her room Spock turned to Nyota.

" Will you please open the door Nyota, then srand behind me."

" Okay."

She stepped forwards, placed her hand on the door panel and typed in the code he'd told her the previous day. She stepped behind him as the door slid open. Spock cautiously stepped into the room . He looked around the bedroom checking the cupboards and dropping to the floor to check under the beds then checked the bathroom.

" All clear." He called behind his shoulder, Nyota entered.

" I just need some cloths to relax in tonight." He nodded and watched as she reached into her cupboard and packed some clothes into the already heaving bag that Spock had lent her. He turned away as she collected her underthings and wondered up to her window where he took a moment to check the plant that he had given her.

" I need to water it." Nyota said, he heard her footsteps walking close to him and then a little intake of breath.

"Zambarau." She said stepping passed him. She ran her fingers along the dark purple petals.

"Ajabu."

" I will have to learn Swahili." Spock said, it would not do for her to be able to speak his first tongue and him not to speak hers. He would endeavour to learn it, perhaps she could spare some time to teach him. She turned to him with a distant expression and Spock got the distinct feeling that she had not been aware she wasn't speaking English.

" It means wonderful." She explained then she walked to her cupboard where she got out a water bottle, she filled it in the bathroom then watered the plant.

" I'm ready." She said when she had finished. Their walk to his apartment was more relaxed tonight and Spock noticed there were fewer security guards around, apparently in their minds the threat was long gone. Back in is apartment Spock turned to Nyota.

" I was not planning on cooking a meal, are you okay using the replicator tonight?"

" Yes, that's fine. I have an assignment I wanted to start working on."

" Can you work here?"

"Yes."

" Do you need to use a computer terminal?"

" No, I've got everything I need."

" I shall be meditating for the next few hours. It is a private act, please avoid disturbing me unless necessary."

" Okay." She smiled settling down into the armchair. Spock was glad she had understood, he went into his meditation room.

It was 19:13 when he came out of the meditating room, his emotions had been particularly difficult to get under control as of lately. Nyota was still sat in the chair, she had a note pad and pen in her hands, all submissions were electronic so Spock surmised she was still in the planning stage. She looked up and smiled at him as he entered the room but then went back to concentrating on her assignment . Spock quietly walked into the Kitchen and got some food from the replicator he sat eating silently, he began listening to the sound of her heartbeat again, it was becoming familiar to him and he felt connected to it in some strange way. When he had finished eating he went out into the front room and sat on the sofa reading a book, his gaze drifting to Nyota every so often. The first time she looked up at him and gave a small playful smile over the top of her writing pad but as time went on he saw she was looking increasingly tired and frustrated. At 20:48 he looked up to see her resting her head in her hand frowning and staring down at the sheet of paper as if it had caused her some personal insult.

" Nyota." She looked up at him.

" The assignment is not due in tomorrow and you are starting to look tired, you will not be able to concentrate on it much longer." He said softly.

" I know." She sighed. "I just want to finish up the first draft. He nodded, he could not argue with her without seeming to be patronising so he continued to read but ten minutes later when she shut the pad and placed it on the table he felt some small relief. She got up and her heard her typing something into the replicator. He walked into the kitchen to find her sat quietly eating.

" You are frustrated." He said, she looked up at him and shook her head.

" I'm just finding this assignment difficult, that's all. I have to explain in writing the mechanics and history of the communication systems on the star ship."

" I can assist you."

" I think I've got it now. " She gave a small smile. " I've always had trouble with this module, my Father says it's good for me to struggle with something, says's it's character building."

" That is a very wise thing for him to have said." He sat across from her. " What do you wish to do once you have eaten?"

" I don't know, I'm tired, i need to relax."

" DO you wish to watch another movie?"

" I didn't think about getting another one."

" What would you be doing if you were in your own quarters?"

" Listening to music I guess."

" I have music, you are welcome to put some of it on the speakers."

" Thank Spock."

After she had finished eating Spock lead her to the draw where he kept the little square music disks in neat order. He observed her carefully reading the labels.

' I realise that they may not be to your exact tastes but I hope that you find something you can listen too."

" I'm just trying to make out what the ones in Vulcan say, there are some words I am not familiar with."

" Most are names of instruments or composers, others translate to to concerto, symphony, quintet. I will teach you them when you are less stressed."

She smiled as she picked one out.

" I understand some of this." She said gesturing to the label on the disk she was holding, Spock felt a slight embarrassment, he would not act upon it if she wished to listen to that one then she may, it would be of no detriment to him.

" It says performed and sung by Spokh." Nyota grinned widely.

" That is correct."

"You sing?"

" Obviously, that disk was recorded when I was a teenager, shortly before I came to earth in the last week of my training on Vulcan."

Nyota proceeded to put the music into the small speaker slot next to the door. The sound of Spock's lute filled the room, Nyota went and sat down on the sofa, her face turned from a smile to a look of concentration. Spock went to sit next to her, this time he allowed her to sit close to her, less than an inch apart. He watched the slight changes in her expression as she listened to his eighteen year old self playing. He had enjoyed playing the lute from a three year old child, it was one of hi teachers who had signed him up to play at his groups final parents assembly, a time when all the parents came to witness aspects of there children's achievements. Nyota turned to stare at him as his voice came over the speakers singing a piece he had translated and adapted into Vulcan.

" It's such an emotional song." She said bewildered.

" It is an earth poem, a particular favorite of my mothers I was singing it in honor to her."

Nyota looked down her mouth slightly open then she met his eyes again.

" It's Shakespeare." She said shocked.

" I told you I knew of Shakespeare. It is sonnet forty- seven."

Nyota smiled and then leaned into him, he felt her soft warmth against him as he had been wanting to for what seemed like the longest time, she leaned her head against his shoulder and he dropped his head slightly to look at her. She shifted at his stare as if she were going to move away from him but Spock not wanting her to go reached across and touched her shoulder for a brief second, letting her now he wanted her to say. He felt rather than saw her smile as she rested her head against his shoulder. Spock found that he could no longer listen to the music which continued on to the performances made by his class mates. He only seemed to be able to concentrate on the wonderful feeling of having her close to him. Too soon the music came to an end and Nyota sat up and yawned.

" You are tired." Spock noted. She nodded sleepily.

' We shall retire." He said, there would be no further argument tonight about where they would be sleeping.

" Yes." Nyota replied. They each moved into the bedroom and Spock collecting his night clothes first headed to the bathroom to get changed and freshen up. On returning to his bedroom Nyota went and did the same. Spock got into the bed as he waited for her. The sight of her coming into his room dressed in her yellow pajamas and walking over to join him in the bed thrilled Spock, he hoped that he would get to witness it again at some time.

Arranging herself carefully under the covers, seemingly aware that they both had bare arms and Spock would be uncomfortable if they accidentally brushed against each other. Nyota seemingly comfortable turned to him. Spock waited to see if she would talk, instead she gave a weary little smile and extended two fingers towards him.

He felt his lips twitch slightly, Nyota smiled widely in return. He pressed his fingers to hers and the continued to softly rub them up and down. The warmth filled him and he could feel that beautiful life force close to him. He could experience her emotions and that tingling that began in his arm and soon spread to consume the whole of him. His heartbeat increased as did his respiration, slightly. He felt her happiness, her wonder, her curiosity. It was her curiosity that was was causing the slight probing he felt in his mind, he knew she was not intruding on purpose . She did not understand the nature of the connection they were making, he would have to explain it to her before they got to the point where they could reach each others thoughts, he would not be comfortable with that, not yet. For now he just gently blocked her probing and went back to experiencing her.

As he continued to rub his finger gently up and down hers he felt the connection between them deepening and she opened up more to him. he felt the adrenaline start to pump through his veins. he wanted her, he wanted to explore her, to know her, body and mind.

He felt the rare swelling in his groin, heard Nyota's gasp and pulled away quickly knowing he'd gone to far. Their bodies were distant from each other but she had sensed his desire through there telepathic link. Impulsively, it seemed, she laid her hand on his cheek, Spock took a moment to marvel at the sensation of warm skin against his own then tenderly took her hand in his and removed it from his cheek.

" No Nyota." She gave a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

" Okay." She said taking her hand from his.

" _Sleep well spokh."_

_" Sleep well Nyota._ Computer, lights out."

They turned from each other and once Spock had cleared his head and suppresses his physical reaction to her touch he drifted off into t contented sleep.

* * *

Betwixt mine eye and heart a league is took,

And each doth good turns now unto the other:

When that mine eye is famish'd for a look,

Or heart in love with sighs himself doth smother,

With my love's picture then my eye doth feast

And to the painted banquet bids my heart;

Another time mine eye is my heart's guest

And in his thoughts of love doth share a part:

So, either by thy picture or my love,

Thyself away art resent still with me;

For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,

And I am still with them and they with thee;

Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight

Awakes my heart to heart's and eye's delight.


	11. Paradise lost

I was going to have brackets as telepathic speech but it looked odd so I went for bold italics. So from now on :

Bold italics = telepathic speech

* * *

Wednesday.

Spock walked Nyota to the shuttle bay. Galia was due to arrive at 07:35, according to Nyota she had managed to get on a shuttle back to earth that was delivering more plant specimens from the newly discovered M planet. She was apparently quite a resourceful young woman. Spock felt slightly nervous as they waited, he knew he had to talk to Nyota about the relationship that was growing between them, especially the telepathic link, he doubted she realized that it could gain strength and they would feel each others presence constantly without physical contact. On Vulcan, a planet with very little actual crime, it was considered one of the greatest taboos and misdeeds possible to listen in on another thoughts without their permission. He would not let his emotions hold him back from doing the logical thing.

" _Cadet, I must talk to you." _ She turned to him with a trusting smile, her emotions were becoming so easy for him to read, it was a sign that the link between them was growing too strong.

" _You can talk to me about anything Spokh."_

_" This link between us, the touching of the fingers. It is best to keep it to a minimum."_

_" You did start it Spokh." _She gave him a coy little smile.

_" That's Commander, Cadet. I know that I was the first to make the gesture but I was not expecting you to continue it." _

The smile dropped from Nyota's face.

" _Spokh, what exactly are you trying to say?"_

_" Commander. And I am trying to say that you are very young and you do not understand the nature of our touches."_

_" Is this because you got turned on by that finger thing? Because I have to say if that whatever that thing is it's intense and I was having much the same reaction."_

_" Nyota. Cadet Uhura, that has a little to do with it I admit, but I just think you are too young.' _Nyota interrupted him.

"_ Me being so young hasn't stopped you up to this point."_

_' Well it should have done, I have allowed myself to act illogically."_

Nyota stared at him, she looked angrier than he had ever seen her. A shuttle craft soared over there heads and started the landing procedure in the bay closest to them

" Your so Human." Nyota said turning her back on him and approaching the shuttle. Spock could not think of a way to reply, he had indeed been acting more Human lately. He watched as the shuttle door opened and Nyota greeted her Orion roommate with a smile and a hug.

" Oh Nyota, it so good to see you. I have so much to tell you"

" I've missed you to."

Nyota and Galia started walking toward the Spock, she was keeping her eyes firmly on the exit, she would not look at him. Galia spotted him and gave him a smile he nodded politely to her.

" Is the commander walking us back?' Galia asked as they came close to him.

" No." Nyota answered walking straight passed him, he felt a strange ache in his chest, unlike others he had felt. This was what humans meant when they said they were hurt by each others none violent actions. He hoped she would calm down before their usual 11:30 Ontarian practice.

" I shall see you at 11:30 Cadet." Spock said to her back as she walked away from him.

" No, you shan't." She replied.

" I find you emotional and illogical today."

Nyota turned around, Galia looked nervously between the two of them.

" _ I find your presence generally displeasing today. Your behavior inconsistent. And on closer inspection your buttock are not as aesthetically pleasing as I at first thought."_

Spock stared after her stunned.

* * *

Spock could not be late starting his lecture, he had never been late starting a lecture he was not about to start now. She had exactly thirty- six second to arrive. He looked up at the class, his students knowing his rules on punctuality had already taken their seats. Only two Cadets were absent, Nyota and Galia, he had expected Galia to miss the lesson, interplanetary travel could be tiring and disorientating to those who were not accustomed to it. Ten seconds to the start of the lecture and the door opened once more, Spock felt a slight relief to see Galia standing there, she looked at him with a strange expression he could not determine. As Galia took her seat Spock realistic Nyota was not with her. She was missing the lesson, had something happened to her? Or was she missing her class because she was angry with him? That would be most illogical. Dissatisfied and a little concerned he began his lecture.

* * *

The computer announced Christopher Pikes arrival at 6:23, the timing was unusual as Chris always came at 19:30 on a Wednesday evening. Spock had not even changed out of his uniform. He went and opened the door, Chris had a worried and angry expression on his face.

" Christopher, you are early. Is there something wrong?"

" Yes there's something wrong Spock,just what the hell do you think you're playing at?"

" I was not aware I was playing at anything." Spock stood aside and Christopher walked in.

" You had cadet Uhura stay in your room overnight, and when I asked you if you had committed any indiscretions you shut the com link down. Spock, I may be your friend but I am also your commanding officer and as a member of star fleet I have a duty to report you if I believe you have broken the rules."

" How do you believe I have broken the rules Captain?"

" Look, I know you've had a bit of a crush on Uhura. Perhaps it was more than that, but I never thought you would act on it whilst you were her teacher."

" How do you believe that I have broken the rules captain?" Spock asked again.

Chris seemed to sag a little.

" I don't Spock. You're just going to have to tell me, you didn't touch her did you?"

" I did touch her." Spock felt slightly ashamed he could feel the tips of his ears heating in the beginnings of a blush, but he stood his ground. "It was wonderful." He had not broken any rules, star fleet might rule out on sexual contact between cadets and tutors but there was nothing in the rule book about kissing or touching.

" God dammit Spock." The captain threw himself down onto what Spock now thought of as Nyota's armchair.

" Tell me everything." He said his voice turning from angry to resigned.

" Cadet Williams." Spock started.

" I know that part, skip ahead to when she was in your apartment."

" We ate, we watched a movie she retired to my bed. After two hours she got, she was having trouble sleeping as she believed that I was uncomfortable. We had a small disagreement but I agreed to sleep in the bed with her. We talked, and I extended my fingers to her and she touched them."

Chris looked up at him his mouth open.

" Is that all?" He asked a small hint of humor and relief in his voice.

' No, I stroked her neck and shoulder. And last night we put our fingers together again and she touched my cheek."

" Fucking hell Spock, don't ever do that to me again."

" You believed I had acted improperly."

" I didn't know what to believe Spock. I've never seen you act like this." Spock gave a short nod, it was true he had been acting in a way that must seem strange to those few who knew him well.

" I guess I should have known you'd never go further than a few touches." Chris said .

"It''s more than a few touches Christopher. When we touched we opened a telepathic link, we shared emotions."

Chris looked up at him, he seemed to consider his words for a while, finally he spoke.

" I can see how that's a big deal for you Spock, most people aren't even aware that you have emotions. To let somebody actually feel them, you really like her don't you? It's more than a first crush."

" Yes Christopher. Vulcans do not have crushes, it is shan hal lak, the engulfment."

Chris shook his head.

" We've got to do something about this Spock. Does Uhura understand what all this mean? The telepathy finger touching thing?"

" I believed so, I was mistaken. When I tried to explain it to her this morning, tell her that we needed to slow down the progress of our bonding, she became angry."

' It's not surprising she was a little freaked out Spock , having somebody else in your minds a lot to take in."

" It was not that, she did not give me a chance to explain fully. She got angry, offended by something I said. She accused me of acting Human and inconsistent. She said my presence and buttocks were displeasing to her."

" I'm not going to ask about the buttocks part. I don't know what you did and I don't know how your going to sort it out or even if you should. All I know is I need a drink."

"I shall get changed."

" Yeah, I need to change as well. I'll meet you at my apartment in ten minutes, we''ll grab some dinner first. I cam straight here from the shuttle bay."

* * *

Spock got into bed, it was 01:15 Thursday morning. Apparently Chris had needed quite a few drinks. Spock himself had consumed a quarter pint of hot coco, a rare indulgence that he had allowed himself due to the emotional turmoil of the day. Chocolate was one of those substances that caused temporary cognitive dysfunction, but the coco was not strong he was only slightly drunk.

As he lay in bed he thought of Nyota and the last three days. He had experienced such strong emotions, he had started concerned and afraid for Nyota. Felt protectiveness towards her and then pleasure, happiness desire when he had touched her. Today he had experienced something entirely new, emotional pain at her anger made worse by the fact that she had actually meant her words to hurt him. Yet he did not feel any ill towards her, he was still concerned for her. He wished to check on her just to be safe. Sitting up and closing his eyes he entered a state of meditation that caused heightened cognitive function, strangely his drunken state seemed to make it easier. He searched his mind for that tiny remnant of the connection that had opened between them the night before. Cautiously he probed it and concentrating hard upon it her felt a tiny spark of her presence. It was calm, tranquil, she was sleeping. He would go no deeper, it was enough to know she was safe.

* * *

Wednesday, Third week of January.

Spock sat at his desk he was marking assignments but he was not giving them his full attention. His eyes kept flicking to the clock on his wall although he was fully aware of the time, 11:54. He was waiting for her, as he had the previous two weeks but a part of him knew it was illogical to do so. She would not come. She had at least returned to his classes and her assignments still got top marks. The fact that their argument had not disrupted her required studies was a comfort to him. He had telepathically checked in on her every night, he never intruded far, just enough to know she was not in danger, he never tried to sense her emotions or her thoughts, just the steady sound of her heartbeat.

He knew she was safe but her distance was uncomfortable. He wished for her to be close to him again but she would not met his gaze in class. When answering questions set directly to her she would answer appropriately and correctly but more coldly than she had previously. The following week he would not see her at all, there were no classes. It was a reading week, where the students were supposed to revise on their own for the exams that were set for the first week of February.

* * *

First week of February - exam week.

Spock walked up and down the aisles of computer terminal in the exam hall he could sense the anxiousness from the students surrounding him. Assured that everything was in order her nodded to his two fellow xenolinguistic lecturers who had been stuck with exam duty. He strode to the microphone set at the front of the hall.

"Twenty multiple choice questions, five short answer and one essay. You have exactly ninety minutes, use your time wisely."

He had been instructed to say the next sentence even though he disagreed with it, the students grades would reflex their abilities, the time and the effort that they had put into learning the material. He sought out Nyota, she was in the third row, she was starring intently at him. He met those curious deep amber eyes for the first time in three and half weeks.

"Good luck."

* * *

February 13th

Spock finished explaining the weeks assignment. He watched as the students started to pack up their bags before he had even finished, they were eager to get too lunch, Nyota had become one of them in the last few months. It had gone to far, he had to put an end to this now before it got to the point where it would be too late.

"You are free to leave." He concluded. "Cadet Uhura please stay behind I wish to talk to you."

Nyota had stood up ready to leave, she turned and looked at him, there was a steady determination in her eyes. He saw her turn back to the door and thought that she would walk out and leave. Don't make me turn it into a order Nyota he thought to himself. Nyota seemed to be fighting some kind of inner battle she was looking at the floor and then suddenly and swiftly she turned and walked down the aisle stopping a meter in front of him. She kept her eyes firmly on the floor and her body language was stiff.

" _Here we are again." _ He said when all the students had finally filed out and the door was firmly closed behind them. Nyota didn't answer.

" _Nyota, I am not happy with the way things are between us."_

_" I thought this was how you wanted things." _Her voice was quiet and laced with sadness.

_" No Nyota, not in the slightest. I do not know how I managed to insult you, I wished to explain. When we touch it creates a telepathic link between us."_

_" I know."_

_" In the few times we touched that telepathic bong grew at an exponential rate, I did not expect it to become so deep in such a short amount of time"_

Her eyes flickered up to look at him, he felt some small semblance of relief, he believed he was getting through to her.

' _If that bond grew any deeper I would have had access to your thoughts to let that happen without your informed consent would be wrong."_ He hesitated. "_It is thought of as mind rape. You do not know how to block your thoughts from a telepathic, everything would have become open to me."_

_" Why didn't you just explain this?" _

_" I thought I could protect you without explaining the true nature of that touch, I did not wish it to... frighten you."_

Nyota stared at him for forty- seven seconds. It was t the longest forty- seven seconds of Spocks life. Then he watched astounded as she raised her arm, three fingers curled into her palm and two held out too him.

" I'm not frightened Spock."

Spock felt the strange mixture of relief and worry, he was worried about allowing there link to grow stronger he was relieved that she was willing to have him touch her again. He raised his eyebrows and then slowly pressed the tips of his fingers to her for the briefest of seconds. He felt her unhappiness and hated that he was the cause of it.

" _We must be careful." _He said when he dropped his fingers from hers.

" _Teach me to have more control over it, teach me how to block my thoughts." _Nyota said sternly, Spock nodded in response.

_" Nyota will you take your evening meal with me tomorrow night?"_

" It's Valentines day." She said, he voice slightly shocked.

" I am aware of the connotations Nyota." He paused, an unpleasant thought had just occurred to him. " Do you have a date?"

" No, I was just, never mind." She shock her head and when she looked back up she was smiling widely. Spocks heart skipped a beat.

" I've got evening classes, if we meet at 21:30 it'll give me time to change, I know it's a little late for eating."

" It's fine Spock."

They looked at each other for a moment.

" I kinda have to go now." Nyota said shyly and somewhat reluctantly.

" I will see you tomorrow night."

" Yes, you will."

* * *

Spock typed in the code for Chris apartment and sitting himself comfortably in front of the screen waited for Chris to answer.

" Hello Spock."

" Hello Christopher. You had been a member of star fleet for over three decades before I sign-up."

" Yes." He said curiously.

" I wish to know of events that may have occurred before my arrival."

" Going to need a bit more to go on Spock."

" I wish to pursue a relationship with Cadet Uhura, preferably without breaking any regulations and I wish to know if there is president."

Chris stared into the screen.

" Her again hua? Spock, this conversation that's about to happen, well it didn't happen do you understand me?"

" No, that sentence did not make any sense ."

" If anybody asks, about anything I tell you, You deny it, and I'll deny you ever said those words to me as well."

" You will not tell me what you know without my agreement on this matter?"

" No."

" In that case I have no choice but to accept."

" I know of three incidents where teachers have had relationships with cadets. One, your already aware of, it was in your freshman year."

" Professor Sylar, I believe that he was stripped of all titles and honors and moved to deep space nine. The student he had been with left the academy."

" Yes, the cadet chose to leave of his own free will rather than face the consequences. The academy only released him of his duty because it saved them face."

" I do not like that outcome."

" No, but then again Sylar and the student were discovered doing the tango in a storage closet."

" I was not aware that there was enough room in a storage closet to do the tango."

" I'm not talking about the dance Spock."

" I understand." It always surprised Spock how many colorful metaphors Humans came up with to avoid the words sexual intercourse.

" The other two cases happened around fifteen years ago, I was stationed back here for a year guest lecturing. There was this teacher Andrea something. She was having a relationship with one her cadets, he was quite old for a cadet if I remember rightly. Anyhow, everybody knew it, it even became a running joke but unlike Sylar they never actually got caught doing anything they weren't meant to be doing. And Andrea, well she was popular with staff and students so nobody ever but in a formal accusation about her. So as far as I know they continued on with their relationship right up to the point where he graduated the academy. "

" With no solid evidence would the academy look into a formal complaint?"

" Yes, they have to. Basically, if it gets to a situation where there is no actual evidence but there is just cause for believing the accusation you'd suddenly find yourself ordered onto the nearest star ship and all applications to be stationed back in this galaxy would be out into the hypothetical shredder."

' That is useful to know."

" Spock, I still want you as my first officer. I will be extremely pissed off with you if you get yourself banished to another star ship before the Enterprise is completed."

" I do not plan to leave myself open to accusations Christopher."

" I'm glad to hear it, do you want to hear the third case?"

" Indeed."

" McKensie, in the particle physics department he's still there."

" I have met him on several occasions he is a well respected member of the academy."

" Well fifteen years ago McKensie fell for one of his students, and I mean hard. I saw these two when they first met, her first day at the academy. Do you remember when you saw Cadet Uhura at the staff student mixer?"

Spock did not believe he would ever forget that particular night, Nyota in that champagne colored dress looking sophisticated and beautiful and older than her actual years.

" yes, I remember."

" Well, same reaction, except the jumbled sentences he came out with weren't nearly as embarrassing. He asked her to dance and the look on that girls face, it was love at first sight for the both of them. Anyway a month later both went missing for a week. When they returned Mckensie walked straight into the admin office bold as brass and said "change my personal details I'm married."

" That seems unnecessarily impulsive."

Chris gave a short laugh.

" Yeah well, it worked. Star Fleet couldn't do anything about it , they cannot be seen to be interfering in anybodies personal lives the rules on staff student relationships are supposed to be there to protect the students but they can't tell any of their staff who they can or cannot marry."

" I will not be asking Nyota to marry me."

Chris laughed.

" You said you wanted to hear it so I told you."

" You have given me a lot to think about."

" This conversation never happened Spock."

" I know, thank you Chris."

* * *

February 14th, morning.

The com link buzzed, only just awoken Spock checked the identification before he allowed the screen to turn on, it was his mother. Although she tended to ring on earth holidays she had never rung on valentines day before, sensing something might be wrong Spock sat down in front of the screen.

" Hello Mother."

" Spokh, your such a fine looking boy, now go put a shirt on." His mother smiled warmly.

" Yes Mother." Spock picked a gym T-shirt from his wardrobe and put it on over his the pants he slept in. Then returned to the front room

" My apologies for my state of undress Mother, I had only just risen and I thought that as you do not tend to phone so early that it may be an emergency."

" No emergency Spokh, I was just phoning to see if my son has a date for valentines."

" Yes."

" Yes?" She looked slightly surprised then smiled.

" That's good news Spock, who is she?"

" She is Cadet Uhura, the linguistics prodigy I mentioned to you on thanks giving."

" The girl you told me about. You reconsidered."

" As I promised I would."

" And you changed your mind."

" Yes, I found a logical alternative." He did not mention that so far he had acted outside his logical alternative of not seeking a relationship with Nyota until she was older and no longer his student.

" I'm so relieved, all these years I thought you were just as stubborn as your father."

' Stubbornness is a Human trait Mother."

She gave a small light laugh.

"Thought it seems somethings you have indeed inherited."

"Naturally."

" I guess you want to get ready for work now, I shan't keep you just promise to call me the day after tomorrow. I want to know all about your date."

" I do not fully understand why you are so interested Mother, but I shall call you."

" Good, take care Spokh."

" I shall Mother."

* * *

February 14th evening.

Spock ran his hands over his cheek checking he had not missed any stubble, he opened the bathroom cabinet and took out the strange bottle of men's fragrance, he sniffed curiously at the bottle, it was not entirely unpleasing. He carefully sprayed a little onto the bare flesh of his upper chest, revealed as he had chosen to leave the top two buttons of his shirt undone. He wore no tie but had out on a dinner jacket as he believed the occasion called for smarter attire than he wore to go drinking with Chris.

_**"SPOKH!" **_Nyota's voice sounded in his mind.

The bottle of fragrance dropped to the floor and shattered. He could sense her fear, her panic as if it were his own except his emotions had never been so raw and strong and unrestrained. He had a confused blurred image enter his mind, Cadet Williams. He had already began to head to the door as he felt a suffocating feeling, it were as though somebody head clamped a hand to his mouth but there was nobody there. As he opened his apartment door there was a sharp pain in his neck then the other presence disappeared. Spock stopped moving in shock, for a split second he thought she was gone but then he felt her, still there, still alive just weak. The link between them dampened, blocked. He started at a run across the hall, down the stairs out into the academy grounds. She was still alive, he would find her.

* * *

Well, bit of everything there for you, hope you liked it , reviews always smiled upon.


	12. Far away

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, or the song far Away and I'm not making a profit off of them.

Okay a little warning guys this chapter gets nasty, I've tried to be sensitive and a little cautious with some of the issues shown, but I'll apologizes in advance to anybody who take offense.

* * *

The air was as cold as ice, it stung Spock's lung like dozens of tiny needles but he hardly noticed. He ran along the deserted pathways, everything still and no sign of a struggle. He stopped and tried to listen passed the sound of the wind whipping through the trees, his own haggard breaths. Soft music was coming from across in the student blocks, cadets having a romantic evening.She was meant to be with him, he took a deep breath and was still a moment, he had to try think logically. It was 21:22, she could have been on the pathways from her apartment to his, no he had said he would pick her up. She should have been in her apartment getting ready, why wasn't she? He started at run towards the apartments, he could not search the entire academy it would take hours, he could not calculate how many, but too long, anytime was too long. She should be with him, heading to the grapevine to the little alcove next to the fountain. _  
_

It took him two minutes to reach the student apartments, he took the steps three at a down the hall to her door, he knew she wasn't behind it. He banged his fists against the metal, too hard he felt the sting, the warm twinkling of blood down his hand. The door opened he took in Galia's shocked face.

" Where is she?"

" Who? Nyota? She's not here. She told me she was meeting up with you tonight but she had to rush out, she should be back soon. Do you want to come in?"

Spock grab Galia by the shoulders.

" Ouch! What the.."

" Where did she go? think Galia."

" She went to the library she found this late book she'd forgotten about.."

Spock let go of her and turned at a run. He could waste no more time, she would have taken the quickest route to the library. The path to the left, through the freedom gardens. He jogged, he could not run, he might miss something important. The garden was empty in the darkness, every leaf was a different shade of black, every flower a dark purple, Zambarau. Had she stopped and ran her fingers along the petals or had she been in a rush. He stopped and gazed around, she had been here, less than ten minutes ago, he did not know how he knew it but he did. He stopped jogging and stood in the middle of the lawn. All around him the bushes shook and swayed, turbulent movements. Then he spotted it, a paper book discarded below a bush a few meters away from him. He jogged up to it and dropped onto his knees. He picked it up and flipped it over staring at it , the hobbit. He knew it was Nyota's, the book she was taking to the library. She wouldn't have dropped it without reason. 

He stood up, she had been taken here. But taken to where, somewhere with no cameras, somewhere nobody would go in the middle of the night. He thought quickly picturing a map of the academy, storage sheds. He turned and looked, twenty meters to the left of him were the backs of the large storage sheds where everything from gardening tools to retired equipment were kept, there were twelve in total. He ran full pelt now. He ran through the peace gardens along the edge of the gym and then he was in front of them, the storage sheds, twelve of them each ten meters by ten meters. He stared feelings of hopelessness closing in on him, he jogged along from one end to the other seeing no sign of which one Nyota was in, if she was in any. He could be only feet away from her or miles_. _He cried out silently in desperation. _**NYOTA! **_And then he knew, he pictured the painted number in his mind, six, just feet away. He ran over, kicked the old wooden door, too hard it flew off it's hinges landing a meter inside the dark space a cloud of dust raising up. Spock coughed as he walked in, quickly staring around before he saw a sight that made him feel his heart would burst. Lying at his feet was a torn red dress and three meters was Nyota's naked form. Cadet Williams was leaning over her, he had stopped staring up at Spock in shock, his hand resting on the belt of the mechanics uniform he was wearing. Spock flicked his eyes back to Nyota, she didn't move, her blank eyes stared at the ceiling without blinking. _  
_

As Spock was trying to concentrate on finding Nyota's mind, he could hear her heartbeat, slow, weak. He was half aware of Cadet Williams getting over the shock of the sudden disturbance. He dived at Spock, Spock raised his arm in front of his face blocking Cadet Williams hit. He had to get this over and done with quickly, he did not know what state Nyota was in but a few minutes could mean the indifference between her life and, well he couldn't think of it. He concentrated on Cadet Williams stood in front of him, he felt rage like he had never known it, he wanted destruction. He needed to destroy this man who had dared to hurt Nyota. His concentration came too late, he felt a sharp pain just below his knee and he fell to the floor. He saw a flash in the corner of his eye, and raised his knees up towards his body. He felt the weight of cadet William's body land on him, his hands reaching out towards his neck, he put all his strength and energy into his legs and hurled Williams weight off of him. He heard the dull thud, he jumped to his feet within a second he crouched, now ready to fight, wanting to fight. Cadet Williams had been thrown across the room and slammed into the other wall. Spock watched the man struggle to his feet he took Spock in with a weary expression, Spock moved to block the door.

"FIGHT ME!"

He heard his own angry shout but too him it sounded disembodied, it was his voice but he hadn't been aware of making it.

Williams charged at him, as he got closer Spock moved a few inches to the left. Just as Williams got too him Spock grabbed the back of his head and using his forward momentum slammed him into the concrete wall. There was a sickening crunching sound of Williams skull splitting. Spock let go of his hair and watched him crumple to the floor. He stared at the blood seeping out of the large gash in his forehead and he felt the anger leaving him, there were no regrets just a cold absence of emotions. Spock, uncontrolled had put every bit of strength he had into the attack. If Williams got medical help quickly he may live. Spock heard Nyota's heartbeat and a familiar worry came back to him, he rushed to her dropping to his knees beside her motionless body. He looked her over for obvious injury, there were bruises on her arms, a slight darkening of a circle of skin on her neck. He brushed her hair from her face.

" Nyota. Nyota I know you can hear me, can you respond?"

He waited breathlessly for twenty seconds, her amber eyes stared up at him, so dull and lifeless it frightened him. He feared he would lose her. He leaned over her, placing both hands on her face he gently moved his fingertips trying to find the melding points, he was inexperienced but he found them. He whispered the words he had heard a few times, word that were meant to make the experience easier, and then she was there with him, within him. Her slow heartbeat beating next to his racing one. There breathing becoming one.

"_**Nyota, are you there?"**_

_**" Is that really you Spokh? In my mind or am I going insane from trauma?"**_

Relief spread through him, she was aware she was thinking, whatever had happened to her body had not damaged her mind.

_**" He injected me with something, It burned, I went limp, I can still see and feel everything, but I can't move."**_

She answered his desire to know what was wrong, it startled him that she could make out his thoughts without him actually directing them at her. He too could feel her emotions, her terror, her feeling of being trapped within her own body unable to control what was happening to her, unable to fight.

_**" Do not fear the worst prematurely Nyota. I believe that he injected you with a paralysis drug, of which the effects of most are reversible." **_

He felt her slight relief. He stared down into her unblinking eyes, now knowing that she could see him. He backed away from her mind slightly dampening their link, he did not know how to voice his fears, his quick glance over her body had not shown any signs of the type of injury he feared.

_**" Nyota, did he, did he.."**_ He struggled to think the words.

_**" No Spokh." **_Nyota's thought carried a strange comforting quality with them. _**" You came in time, he touched me he told me what he was planning to do to me."**_

_**" I am sorry I did not get here before he did these things to you, my Nyota, when I saw you I feared, I feared greatly that you were beyond reach."**_

_**" I am here Spokh. He looks so worried so scared I wish I could touch his face, tell him I'm fine, I'm not fine, I'm anything but fine, I don't think I will eve be fine again. Oh dammit he can hear everything."**_

_**" Yes, Nyota I can. You are safe now, you will be okay again." **_

Spock carefully took his fingers from her face, she needed the privacy of her own thoughts, she was in shock she did not seem to be taking thing's in properly but he had gained the information he so desperately needed from her. Now he needed to get her medical attention. He reached down and took her limp hand firmly in his. He lifted it too his face holding her palm to his cheek.

" Nyota, I am going to call a doctor."

He placed her hand back onto the ground and stood up, turned so that he could not see her naked body and found himself staring down at the crumpled form of his former pupil Williams. Turning his eyes away from the pooling blood he patted down the side of his body. He had slipped a short distance communicator in his pocket, he never left the academy without one in case of emergencies, his instincts had proved right tonight. The communicator was tuned onto the frequency of the academies main switchboard from there his message would be passed onto the relevant people. Spock hesitated as he flipped the communicator open. If he phoned for a doctor now Cadet Williams would receive treatment, he might survive. But every moment Spock put off the message his life force seeped from the gash on his head, his muddled brains sent less electrical impulses. Williams was dying and Spock wanted him to, he wanted him to die for what he had done to Nyota. He deserved to die on a cold dusty floor, not having reached the age of thirty, never having achieved anything, in the company of people who wished him dead rather than those who loved him. And what for him if he survived? Life,to breath fresh air and taste food, a few years in prison, let out to lead a normal life once a psychiatrist had announced him 'cured' of the influences that led to his evil. Nyota would always have to live with the memory of his actions. Spock would always watch over her knowing that he had not been there to protect her when she had needed him, he had failed her. He could kill him now and nobody would know, Nyota could not see him, she would not suspect him, she trusted him. He could kill him before the doctors arrived and say that he had died of the wounds Spock had caused in trying to defend himself and Nyota. But she trusted him. He held down the button of the communicator opening the frequency.

" Commander Spock here, emergency in section delta, storage area six. Medical team required, two injured. One full paralysis, no injuries to cause it suspected to be drug induced. One critical head injury, possible cracked skull, blood loss. Security team required,prisoner amongst the injured. Attempted rape of cadet." He felt himself choke on the last words.

" Message received Commander, Security and medical team on their way."

Spock shut the lid of the communicator, he watched Williams bled for a moment and then turned to Nyota. He bent down next to her again and reached up to her face, opening the link between them again.

_**" The doctors are on their way Nyota."**_

_**" Spokh, don't let them see me like this."**_ He could sense her embarrassment, her shame and vulnerability. He shrugged his arms out of his jacket and laid it across her.

_"**Thank you.'**_

_**" Is there anything I can do for you Nyota?"**_

_**" Just stay with me."**_

_**" I would not leave you Nyota."**_

_**" How did you find me Spokh? How did you know I was in trouble?"**_

_**" You called for me did you not?" **_ He sensed her confusion.

_**" I wanted to call to you, but he had his hand over my mouth, I couldn't breath, and I was so far away even if I could call you couldn't have heard."**_

_**" I heard."**_

Spock heard hurried footsteps and knew that the medical team would arrive soon.

_**" They are coming Nyota."**_

He removed his fingers from her face but reached down and took her hand, he knew they both needed the connection. He looked over his shoulder to see a dark form enter the doorway he immediately bent next too Cadet Williams he heard the buzzing of the medical scanner.

" Dear God, what happened here?"

"Will he survive?" Spock asked.

" I think so, I can't give you an answer right now. "

Three more people arrived, a security team, they came in phasers drawn, they lowered them once they had checked over the room. Four more members of the medical team followed them, wheeling medical trolleys loaded with cases. The first doctor who came in waved them over to Williams and approached Spock, he knelt beside him. Spock looked up at him too ask him to act faster but stopped when he saw the expression on the Doctors face.

" Uhura."

" You know her?" Spock looked closer at the doctor, he knew him, McCoy he had been at Williams hearing.

" Yes." McCoy seemed to get over his shock, he moved his tricorder over her, his face concerned.

" Her vitals are steady, we need to get her to the medical wing before we can determine what he used to paralysis her and how to undo the damage." The doctor took out his communicator.

" Med wing, two to beam up."

McCoy leaned over Nyota, the medical wing only had one emergency transporter, he would not be able to go with her. McCoy looked up at him, he quickly clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder.

" I'll look after her commander."

Spock stood watching as Nyota and McCoy were surrounded my a yellowish light and then disappeared. He looked at the spot where she had been lying for a moment then turned around, Williams was surrounded by the rest of the medical team, he had a line of metal fitted to his head, Spock watched the different colored lights flickering on and off not knowing what they meant, he was not familiar with the new medical instrument. He listened to the doctors discuss whether it was safe to move him or not then he noticed a security guard approaching him.

" I cannot answer any questions now, I am needed in the medical wing."

Spock ran out of the dark concrete room before the guards could stop him. He had told Nyota he would not leave her, he had to keep that promise.

* * *

_This time, this place_

_Misused, mistakes_

_Too long, too late_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

_Just one chnace, just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_Cause you know_

_You know, you know_

_That I love you, I have loved you all along.

* * *

_

Well this chapter was meant to be a lot longer but I decided to split it here because 1) I can't leave it at a cliffhanger for any longer 2) It's quite an emotional chapter, as will the next few chapters and I'm a little worried of throwing so many diffrent emotions into just one chapter. Chapter 13 will be up within the next four day. I


	13. Will you be my valentine's?

Okay, so bit of a problem, Len meets Spock,in the film he Say's he doesn't know who he is. There will be an explanation coming up.

Anyone seen the menagerie, from the first season of the original series?

Just to warn you it's another potentially upsetting chapter.

* * *

Spock burst through the doors of the medical wing. He looked around the large square reception with the offices bordering it, the ward was through double doors to the right. The receptionist stood up and shouted at him as he headed in that direction, he was aware of her racing from behind the desk in an attempt to stop him. McCoy came through the doors just as he reached them, he put his arms out to stop him.

"Hey calm down!"

" Cadet Uhura, where is she?"

" She's here, she's fine. We're running the blood right now but we've tried her on an antidote that would work on most of them , if it works she should start showing signs of recovery within the next ten minutes or so."

" Take me to her."

" I'm not sure if"

"Take me to her! That is an order!"

Doctor McCoy raised his eyebrows looked at the floor, shock his head and then led Spock down the long ward to the far end. As they approached Spock could see Nyota lying still, covered in insulating blankets. He stepped pasted McCoy and rushed to her side. He did not register there being a chair next to her but he found himself sitting on one. His hand unconsciously taking hers. He took in her face and froze at the sight of tears running down her cheeks.

" She is crying." He said looking at the doctor.

" No, we put drops in her eyes to avoid infection, she hasn't been able to blink in god knows how long."

" Thirty- Seven minutes."

" She's going to be okay. She may look delicate but she's tough."

" I am fully aware of her determination, perseverance and inner strength." Spock snapped.

" Hey, I was just trying to be reassuring."

Spock looked up at the doctor, he wished to tell him that he did not need reassurance but he remembered the look on the doctors face when he had seen it was Nyota who was injured. There were others who cared for Nyota.

" How do you know her?"

" We have lunch every now and again. My idiot friend kept hitting on her so one day I sat down to apologize to her for his behavior and we got talking."

" I understand."

" You're a bit more than her teacher aren't you?" The doctor said pointedly.

" Yes." Spock looked down at Nyota's hand in his own, there was no thrill now, no electricity just worry and a vague jumble of emotions from her, she was struggling against the paralysis, fighting to get her body to respond. But he could also sense that she was listening to them, taking comfort in his presence and the faith he had in her. "She is my friend."

Nyota's eyes flickered, Spock leaned forwards watching her carefully, the doctor took several steps closer. She blinked. Spock felt drowned by his relief, as if there could be no way to control it, no other emotion potent enough to disarm it.

" Nyota."

"Take it easy Uhura it'll take a while." McCoy said softly placing his hand on her shoulder, then turning to Spock.

" Keep her quiet for now, and I'll keep the guards off your backs for as long as possible. I'm going to check her bloods, just in case."

" I will." Spock said, he watched Nyota blink twice more as the doctor walked away from them, leaving them alone. When he felt her hand move against his he impulsively took it up to his mouth and grazed it with his lips.

" Well done Nyota, take it easy. Try moving your legs."

He waited a moment then saw a twitch under the blankets, he felt his lips twitch up in a small smile of relief. Nyota's mouth opened but she didn't make a sound. Spock looked around, becoming aware of his surroundings for the first time since he had arrived in the ward. Across on the opposite side of the room there was a replicator set into the wall. Spock got up and walked over, he typed in the code for cold water and waited for the hatch to lift so he could take the cup to her. As he sat back down he hesitated. Spock did not know how to take care of somebody who was ill. Vulcans were not often ill, when they were it was considered a matter of privacy. His mother had always had the best doctors when ill. His Father had always kept him away from her. Tenderly as possible he slide his arm around Nyota's back. He lifted her slightly.

" Can you swallow?"

Nyota nodded slowly, her slight wince caused a dull ache in the vicinity of Spock's heart. He lifted the cup up to Nyota's open lips, then tipped it ever so slightly, Nyota swallowed. After a few sips she shook her head. Spock gently lowered her back to the pillows and placed the cup on the floor under his chair.

" Spokh.." Her voice was quiet and croaky. "Thank you."

Wordlessly Spock placed his hand on the covers next to Nyotas, his two fingers out stretched. Nyota's eyes flicked down and then with no change of expression she moved her arm in slow deliberate movements and touched her fingers to his. There was a feeling of trust, familiarity, gratefulness pushed towards him in a silent communication. He was surprised at how easily Nyota seemed to connect with him, how as a Human she seemed to adapt to him being in her mind and open to her feelings.

" Thank you Nyota."

He concentrated on the idea of support and comfort and sent it down the link too her. He watched eyes fill with tears and run silently down her cheeks, Spock's chest tightened. He had always been uncomfortable with tears, he had seen them from his mother growing up and in a few students since he had been at the academy. Tears usually made him want to turn away as he instructed the student how better to control their emotions or say their reaction was illogical. But tonight Nyota's tears seemed perfectly logical to him, he knew It was a small release of some of the negative emotions. And he did not want to run, in fact he felt even more as if he did not wish to leave her. He raised a finger to her cheek and wiped one of the salty drops from Nyota's cheek. Unconsciously leaning in closer to her.

McCoy coughed. Spock looked up he had not been aware that the doctor had been standing there. Spock could tell from the doctor's expression that he had seen their tender moment, it was a look of judgment and disapproval. He met Spock's eyes for a moment and then stepped forwards a fake smile coming to his face as he entered Nyota's eye-line.

" How are we doing?"

Nyota placed her hands firmly on the bed, she pushed herself up, Spock leaned forwards ready to help if she required it but he knew that she needed to do something on her own. She sat up, pulled herself back along the bed and leaned against the wall. Her breathing was a little uneven and her heartbeat had increased but she ha managed it and Spock felt a moment of pride.

" Hi Len." She said.

" Good to see you looking better darling." McCoy said cheerfully. Spock did not like another man using terms of endearment with Nyota. He doubted she was as darling to this McCoy as she was to him. Besides he was so much older than her. Spock was only six years older, this man was at least ten years older than that. Spock watched him carefully as he ran his tricorder over Nyota.

" Everything's looking good, relax for a few minutes then I'll come and show you some gentle exercise that will help get your muscles up and running again. I'll warn you it'll be a little painful at first."

Nyota nodded.

" Commander, a word."

Spock squeezed Nyota's hand and followed McCoy down the hallway and out of ear shot, Spock was aware of Nyota watching them. McCoy stopped, he seemed to look Spock over.

" Doctor, whatever suspicions you may have.."

" What you and Uhura are doing is none of my business." He looked around uncomfortably. "Besides, you seem to care for her and she needs that right now. Give me your hand."

Spock lifted his bloody hand up holding it out, when the Doctor went to take it he moved away slightly. For his defense McCoy didn't take offense or ask what his problem was as many human doctors did. McCoy reached to his belt, a feature of all doctors uniforms they were equipped with tricorder, basic hyposrays and a tissue regenerator. McCoy took the tissue regenerator pressed a few buttons and concentrated it an inch over the cuts across Spock's knuckles. There was a warm itching feeling in Spock's hand as his skin cells started replicating them self 4300 times faster than they naturally would.

" I knew Vulcan's had green blood but I've never actually seen it before, it's a much darker color than I expected."

" I am glad my slight injury has served to educate you."

" No need for the sarcasm, I'm trying to treat you."

" I was not being sarcastic, I do not see the point in sarcasm so I have not endeavored to learn it."

Doctor McCoy stared at him for a moment.

" Look, I came and interrupted your tender moment for a reason. All sorts of people are starting to arrive in the reception and I can't hold them off for much longer. They want to talk to you and Uhura. Uhura won't be up too any long conversations for a while so I'm going to have to throw you at them so they don't go after her. Sorry but I can't protect you any longer."

" I shall walk doctor, I believe you will injure you back if you try to throw me. As for protecting me, I am a star fleet officer and I can face my responsibilities. I will just tell cadet Uhura that I will be close by. Tell me doctor has there been further information on Williams?"

" He's been moved here and is being prepared for surgery. He's stable now. Don't worry commander, you've not killed anybody."

" I was not worried. I merely needed to know what position I am in when I talk to the head of security."

" He's here already, as is Sinclair and captain Pike."

" Captain Pike is here?" Spock said curious as to how his friend had known what was happening and why he had come to the medical wing. He suspected It may be to stand up for him if he needed it, or for what humans call emotional support, Spock had never felt the need to have the presence of another in difficult situations.

" The man knows everything that happens in the academy." McCoy said obviously thinking an explanation was required.

" I doubt that is true, though he is often well informed on matters that do not necessarily concern him."

Spock turned away from the doctor and walked back towards Nyota. She seemed to be moving more easily now. He sat for a moment, and reached for her hand once more.

" Nyota, will you be alright if I leave you for a while? I will be in the building."

Nyota nodded, she did not answer and she looked concerned but she had much to be concerned about, the night still held a lot of stress. Spock reluctantly got up and walked back down the ward, passing McCoy as he went. He felt a small amount of apprehension at what he was about to face but took a few deep breaths and centered himself, he would at least present a calm and logical face to the security officers. As he walked into the reception the receptionist looked up and pointed to one of the rooms off to the side. Spock nodded and entered the room, it was like all earth waiting rooms, the walls were a light green and the chairs looked uncomfortable. As he walked in a security guard, head of security and Sinclair stared to look at him. Chris was the only one sitting , he looked up but did not speak, there was a gravity and seriousness to him that Spock had seen in the few missions that they had been on together.

" I believe you have some question for me." Spock said to the room in general.

" First of all Spock, how is Cadet Uhura?" Sinclair asked.

Spock knew that the concern was not for her person but for the damage that the extent of her injury's would cause to the academy's plans to eliminate the lower age limit.

" She is recovering from the paralysis drug Williams injected her with. The rest of her injuries are relatively minor, but I believe she is suffering from the emotional effects of the trauma."

" And you Spock?" Chris asked him.

" I was not greatly injured, I had minor cuts to my hand and I have taken a kick to below my knee cap that is bruising and swelling.'

Christopher nodded, Spock knew he would not ask after his emotional state in front of people. It was the head of securities turn to start.

" Cadet Williams has suffered a cracked skull , brain hemorrhaging and swelling which has led to oxygen starvation in certain areas, the effects of which are not yet known."

Spock nodded at the information, he had been aware that Williams had injuries were grave. He felt he could not think about the moment when he had stared at the man and deliberated on whether to give him the chance to live, he did not think he would ever be sure of the decision he had made.

" I am assuming you were the one who caused these injuries. How do you justify this?"

" Williams attacked me, from the ferociousness of his attack I determined he meant to kill me. I believe that had succeed he would also take Cadet Uhura's life. I acted out of defense for myself and the cadet."

" William's injuries are bad."

" I believed Cadet Uhura to be in immediate medical attention. I took the first opportunity neutralize Williams, his injuries were caused when he charged at me and I moved out of the way and slammed him into the wall, I did not factor I his own forwards momentum which added to the severity of his injuries."

It was a lie, Spock had been angry, his blood had been boiling he had put every piece of his considerable strength into the attack. He had wanted to destroy the man. Spock had only told a few lies in is lifetime, most of the time they were unnecessary and caused further problems. This time they would keep him from facing trial.

" You did not mean to cause such severe injuries?"

Spock told his second lie.

" No. I must admit to not having factored in the forwards momentum that made the injuries more severe. Given the circumstances isn't that excusable?"

There was a moment of silence in the room, everybody looked grimly, after forty-five seconds the head of security answered.

" Honestly commander, under the circumstances pretty much any action would be excusable. That will be all from you tonight, I'll need your official statement tomorrow. We will be talking to Cadet Uhura now whilst her memory is still fresh." The head of security left followed by the guard.

" I'm going to need to talk to you tomorrow Spock, for now I'm going to need you to contact Uhura's parents. I'll send them a written note but I think this kind of news should come from somebody they know." Sinclair said also heading out the door leaving Spock alone in the room with Christopher, he stood up.

" To be trapped in one's own body, unable to move, the ideas terrifying. Thank the heavens that they were able to undo it, it would have been a fate wrose than death."

Spock did not speak, he had sensed Nyota's fear, experienced a shadow of it himself, It had been truly horrific.

" Spock?"

" I must check on her."

" Spock, how did you know she was in danger?"

Spock did not want too answer the question as he did not fully understand all of which had happened tonight. How he had known where to find Nyota, how he had experienced that strange suffocating feeling of Williams hands over her mouth, how the bond between them had grown to such a strength where it was easy to enter her mind and communicate with her telepathically. But Christopher had asked him an unavoidable direct question.

" She called too me telepathically."

" How Is that even possible, I thought only mated couples could do that."

" It is more complicated than that, the bond between us is strong but I am not sure of it's nature. I have only ever experienced a betrothal bond and that was never strong. I must be with her, I said I would not leave her." Spock turned to leave.

" Spock! You're not going to tell her your feelings for her are you?"

" It would not be right to expect her to take in that information whilst her emotions are turbulent. It could lead her to seek a relationship out of gratitude or the need for security not because she actually shares my feelings or considers me a suitable partner."

" I understand Spock, I just thought I would ask, you have the look of a desperate man. I'll call Nyota's parents, they know me and you've got enough to deal with."

" Thank You Christopher."

Spock went back to join Nyota, as he walked back he saw that she was with the security guards. The doctor was fetching them chairs.

" Commander?" The officers looked puzzled as Spock approached.

" I was aiming to check on the cadet." Spock explained. Nyota was sat up, she was concentrating hard on the bedsheets and not looking at any of the people who were starting to sit around her, she had her arms crossed across her body as if trying to protect herself. Spock wanted to reach out to her but couldn't given the present company.

" No Offense Commander, but we'll be talking to Cadet Uhura in a moment, we're just waiting for Doctor . Perhaps you could go find a friend to sit with her."

" Cadet Uhura, would you like me to fetch your roommate?"

Nyota looked up at him, her eyes wide.

" Can't you stay?"

" If you wish." Spock sat on his previous seat.

" Actually commander I can't allow that, your presence could alter the way miss Uhura answers our questions."

Spock stared at the head of security, he felt his anger rising.

" I overall that." Doctor Ohakim had entered unnoticed. She turned to look at the second security guard.

" You can leave." She said the voice of authority. She turned to Nyota then sat at the end of the bed.

" Miss Uhura, I've book you in for six support sessions."

" I don't want them."

" It's the rules I'm afraid. Commander you're free to have them if you wish."

" Vulcan's do not have psychotherapy."

" Okay." She looked at the PADD in her hands. "Nyota, may I call you Nyota?"

" I suppose so."

" I see you refused a rape kit, are you sure about that?"

Spock watched Nyota fidget slightly, but she didn't look up.

"Yes."

" Okay, well you can change your mind later if you decide to. I'm afraid your dress is ruined, where we're you going tonight?"

" Out." Nyota's eyes flickered up to Spock, Doctor Ohakim noticed and Spock watched as she made a note of it using her PADD and an electronic pen.

" I'm starting with the easy questions here Nyota, where were you going?"

" I don't know. It was with somebody from my class."

" We're you going to meet him? Is that what you were doing outside?"

" No, well... I was meant to meet him but I had a late library book so I was rushing to the library too give it back before nine-thirty."

" Is that when you were meant to go out with him?"

" Yes."

" Are you going to tell me his name?"

"No."

" Okay, you don't have to, not right now anyway. Tell me what happened as you were walking to the library."

" I was in the freedom gardens, and I felt as if somebody were watching me. I stopped and turned round and then I felt a hand on my mouth."

Nyota paused, she shook her head. The tears started to roll down her cheeks again, Spock's hand unconsciously reached out, he stopped himself before he touched her. Doctor Ohakim just sat and waited patiently for Nyota to start talking again.

" I felt the hypospray on my neck and then I went limp, he let me fall."

" Can you confirm who it was that injected you with the hyposprey and when you first become aware of who it was?"

" It was Cadet Williams, I saw him as I fell, it was dark but he talked to me so I knew it was him."

" What did he say?"

" He said 'Hello again Uhura, will you be my valentine?"

" And then?"

" He grabbed my wrists and he dragged me along the floor, it seemed like he was dragging me for ages."

" What did you see?" Doctor Ohakim asked, Spock knew she was only trying to get as much information for her file as possible by structuring the interview but Spock found himself getting angry at her still. So much anger, it was difficult to control.

" Just him. I saw the sky, I must have done." Nyota sounded confused.

"That's normal, you were scared so you focused on him. Did he say anything more to you."

" No."

" Then what happened?"

" He pulled me into some kind of building."

" What did it look like? what did you see?"

" It was darker." She shook her head. " It had a concrete ceiling I think. I heard him opening the door, there were no beeps so it didn't have a touch pad."

Spock could hear the slight croaky quality growing in her voice, he glanced down and saw that the cup of water was still under his chair he reached down and picked it up and handed it too Nyota, she looked up and took it from him, took a few sips and handed it back to him. He kept hold of it.

" What happened when you were in the building?" Okahim, started her questions again.

Nyota raised her hands to her face, she started sobbing. Spock reached out and put his hand on her shoulder wanting to comfort her.

" Doctor Okahim, is it possible for the Cadet to have a break from these questions."

" I know this seems harsh commander but it's honestly better to get this over with now so Nyota can start the recovery process. It'll be so much more difficult for her if this is drawn out." Okahim's voice was soft. Spock didn't answer, he kept his hand resting on Nyota's shoulder for the three minutes twelve seconds that it took her to stop crying. She looked up at him, her eyes still wet, the skin below them swollen.

" I'm sorry." She muttered.

" For what?"

" Being so emotional."

" It is understandable."

" It makes you uncomfortable."

" I do not mind the discomfort in this case." Spock said. Doctor Okahim had been quiet during their exchange her eyes watching them carefully.

" Miss Uhura, are you ready to continue? What happened when you were in the building?"

" He took my dress off."

" How?"

" He had a knife, he cut it into pieces. He put the blade up to my skin, I thought he was going to cut me. " She took a deep breath. "He turned me over and her did something to my back."

" What did he do to your back?"

" He cured the cuts, there was a buzzing and it felt like a tissue regenerator does."

" Why did he do that do you think?"

" He said it was to make the message clearer."

" What d he mean by that?"

" As he cut my dress off he told me what he was going to do too me."

" What exactly did he say?"

" He said we were going to have some fun,and then he'd kill me and carve a message into my back with his knife."

" Did he say what the message was?"

Nyota looked at Spock then she looked down and shook her head.

" I can tell that you're lying to Nyota, though I don't know why."

" He was going to write ' Too Mr Spock from Williams."

Spock felt his chest tighten his heart thudded painfully, he suddenly felt his head spun, his eyes blurred. He needed fresh air, he had only ever vomited once but his stomach clenched in the same way It had at that time.

" Commander Spock are you alright?" He heard Ohakim's voice but his mind was fuzzy he couldn't answer. He stood up, he walked his legs feeling weak. He could see blood dripping down Nyota's back, ghastly carved letters on smooth soft brown skin. Amber eyes covered with a pale milky film staring accusingly at him. The pain from his chest made him double over, he was staggering forwards not knowing where he was going. He burst through the door of the reception. There were footsteps following him. Smears of blood on those beutifully shped theighs. He felt his injured knee give way, he hit the floor hard, pain shooting through his leg. He imagined the link severed, the prensence of her in his mind gone forever. He couldn't draw breath , the pain in his chest became blinding. Then he felt strong arms wrap around him, a musty smell and fabric pressed against his face.

" Spock, Spock what's wrong?"

It was Chris's voice.

" It was my fault, I tried to protect her. All I want is to protect her but It was me who put her in danger."

" Spock remember where you are." The voice was only a whisper.

" I couldn't protect her."

" DOCTOR!" The voice had grown to a shout.

" I should have killed him" Sock felt a sharp pain in his neck and then everything went black.

* * *

Spock blinked, he was lying flat on his back, he ceiling was not his ceiling. He went to sit up but felt a hand on his shoulder pushing him back downwards.

" Take it easy Spock." It was Chris voice. Spock looked up at his friends concerned look.

" How long have I been unconscious?"

" Less than ten minutes."

" The doctor said you were having some kind of an anxiety attack, but he's written it down as the results of the adrenaline rush from earlier in the evening."

" How is Nyota?"

" She's very upset, she's refusing talk anymore. She needs you Spock."

" I failed her Christopher. I know that Williams is mentally unstable,but the fact remains that if I had never shown a preference for Nyota then Williams would not have attacked her tonight."

" Spock, it's not your fault. And she needs you now. She really needs you, she doesn't blame you she just wants you with her."

Spock sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

" Yes, you are correct. I will go too her."

Spock stood up, his head still felt strangely heavy and his leg hurt. He was at the opposite side of the ward to Nyota. Doctor Okahim was still sat at the end of the bed. Nyota was curled in on herself, her face covered with her arms.

" I'm sorry commander Spock but I do not think you should be here any longer." Okahim said standing up.

Nyota's amber eyes peeked out from above her arm.

" _Spokh, I'm sorry."  
" No Nyota, I am sorry if it weren't for me William's would never have attacked you."_

_" Don't say that." _Her voice broke. _" Please stay with me Spokh, he's here now. I know he is. He's upstairs in the operating theater, when they're finished they'll bring him down here. I can't handle it, I can't see him again."_

" Commander I must insist you leave."

" _You shouldn't have too."_

_" You'll stay?"_

_" I will be here Nyota but you must talk to Okahim, you must tell her what happened."_

" Commander." The head of security took a step forwards.

" I am leaving."

Spock could hear Nyota as he walked back to his hospital bed.

" Williams turned me back on to my back, he said I was beautiful and he was going to enjoy this, he touched me, he put his fingers inside me, and then Spock came."

Spock waited patiently on the bed, McCoy brought him food and threatened to make him stay the night if he didn't eat it. Chris had sat silently with him until Spock had noticed him yawning and told him to leave. At 2: 13 February 15th Spock watched the head of security and Okahim walk passed his bed. They had finished interviewing Nyota. He knew she must be exhausted but he wished to check on her one more time before she slept. Doctor McCoy was sat in the chair he had occupied earlier in the night, he was talking quietly in a soft tone to Nyota. As Spock approached he stood up and indicated to Spock to follow him, they talked when out of Nyota's hearing.

" I want to give her a sleep aid or a tranquilizer but she's refusing treatment, she's freaking out. Williams operation is over and he's about to be brought down here, he'll be tranquilized and under the watch of a security guard the entire time but she's terrified. She's trying to discharge herself."

" She should not have to see him."

" I agree, I can't let her discharge herself, not in this state but I can discharge her into the care of somebody else."

" Who did you have in mind?"

" You."

" Of course, what must I do?"

" I'll fetch you a form to sign, you'll have to keep and eye on her breathing throughout the night. If she'll allow me I'll give her a slow acting sedative so she should sleep when she reaches your place."

" I will talk to her." The doctor nodded. Spock sat next to Nyota, she looked up at him.

"Spock, I can't stay here."

" I know, you don't have to. You can come stay with me for as long as you need."

" I can?"

" Of course Nyota. You are exhausted. Will you let the doctor give you a slow acting sedative? It will not work till you get to my apartment."

She looked down and nodded. Spock reached for her hand and took it in his own, it was the first contact between them in hours and even though he felt her emotional and physical exhaustion flood through the link, her fear her uncertainty, he still felt happy to be connected to her once more. McCoy returned and handed Spock a PADD and electronic form, Spock signed to have Nyota released into his care. A nurse approached them, she was dragging a curtain screen with her.

" Uhura, this is nurse Chapel, she's going to help you get dressed."

Spock nodded to the tall blond nurse who gave him and understanding smile as he stood up and walked a few feet away, his back turned, McCoy stood next to him waiting till the nurse came back round the curtain and told them she was ready. Nyota was dressed in star fleet issue work out clothes, sweatpants and an overly large gray jumper with the star fleet logo on it.

" Are you ready to leave Nyota?" He asked

" Yes." The doctor removed a hypospray from his belt he stood behind Nyota and pushed her hair away from her neck but as he put the hypo to her skin she flinched away. Her eye's wide and panicked. McCoy straightened up.

" I'm sorry Nyota, I'll go get see if we have anything in tablet form." He left.

Nyota buried her face in her hands, her body shook with silent sobs. Spock sat on the edge of the bed, he put his hand on Nyota's shoulder trying to think of some words of comfort but none came to him. Nyota collapsed against him, her head resting against his chest. Awkwardly Spock encircled her with his arms bringing her closer. He felt her tears seep through the thin cotton of his shirt. He closed his eyes and rested his head against her silken hair, he lost track of how long he sat with her rubbing his hands up and down her back till eventually the tears stopped flowing and her breathing evened. She stayed close to him until the doctor turned up again handing her a small pill and a glass of water. Nyota wordlessly swallowed it.

" Take care Nyota, I'll call in and check on you in the morning." McCoy said placing his hand on her shoulder for a second. Nyota nodded, she seemed to be beyond words. Spock helped her stand up and wrapped his arm around her waist as he helped her walk in slow unsteady steps out into the cold morning air. Nyota concentrated on the feet as Spock led her in a direction that would avoid the freedom gardens. After seven minute's Spock sensed that the pill the doctor had given her was starting to kick in. He picked her up holding her close to his chest, she seemed to tired to protest. He carried her to his apartment and sat her on the bed as he went into the kitchen and replicated her a chocolate bar knowing her preference for the food and knowing her sugar levels must be getting low. He took it back into the bedroom.

" Eat this, you require the sugar."

She took it from him and started to eat. Spock went to his wardrobe and got out his night clothes. He went to change in the bathroom, a strange smell hit his nose the moment the door opened. He looked down and saw the smashed glass on the floor from where he had dropped the bottle of fragrance earlier that evening. Luckily the glass had broken into large pieces and he could pick them up with his hands and dispose of them. Feeling weary he looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was spiked up from where he hand been lying on it, there was blood splattered on his dusty shirt, he carefully unbuttoned it, and took of his trousers. There was a bruise forming on his arm where he had blocked a hit from Williams and a large dark green patch spreading just below his kneecap, the swelling was bad and he knew it would not be able to walk without pain the next day. Turning from his own reflection he got dressed and headed back to the bedroom. Nyota had lied down and pulled the covers around herself her eye's were already closed but she was not yet sat on the bed next to her.

" Do you wish me to sleep on the couch?"

Nyota's hand reached up and her fingers trailed lazily down his bare arm.

" Will you hold me?"

There were reasons why he should not hold the cadet whilst she slept, but none of them seemed to matter much to him now. He got into the other side of the bed and moved close to her. She was lying on her side, facing away from him, he thought for a moment and then also laid on his side and reached his hand over her. He felt her fingers grasping his, she shuffled closer to him till her back pressed against his chest. Spock laid his head on the pillow, he was unused to such contact but he knew it comforted her. He felt a strange warmth, that was not to do with her body heat. It was comfortable, familiar. He watched over her until he knew she was asleep and then closed his eyes.


	14. Family connections

First, I must apologize for the lateness of this chapter and of the next couple of chapters, my computer is down and my access to other computers is very limited. I am hoping Mine will be repaired within a week and I can get back to uploading on a regular basis again . I haven't left any cliff hangers this time though and it is the longest chapter so far, enjoy.

* * *

The beeping was beginning to irritate Spock, it was distracting him from the wonderful soft warmth that was resting against him from his shoulders down to his hips. Raspberry, that was what he was smelling, very faint and sweet raspberry's. He pulled closer to where the smell was coming from, soft silky strands fell against his face, he nuzzled it enjoying the sensation against his face. The buzzing continued, he didn't want to open his eyes, not yet he wanted the warmth, the smell, to continue.  
The warm mound moved against him, he opened his eyes and saw black hair directly in front of him. His hand was tucked in hers, his arm resting against her breast. He gently moved away from her, she gave a small moan and moved slightly back toward him.,his movement and the infernal beeping of his com system was waking her.  
He leaned over her one more time, brushing the hair away from her ear and whispered gently.

"Sleep Nyota, I will not be far away."

He got out of bed, sighing as his feet hit the cold floor. He walked quietly into the front room his knee sending twinges of pain as he walked. He sat on the sofa and activated the com link, he checked the caller I.D. Christopher Pike, and turned the screen on.  
Chris was already in his uniform, he looked tired and irritated.

" Well it's about time."

" Good morning Christopher. I apologize for taking so long to answer I was still sleeping."

"I was just calling to tell you that Nyota's parent's will be here at 7:45."

" Thank you."

" That's in twenty minutes Spock."

Spock looked across to the clock on his wall, it was 07:23. He needed to wash before they arrived, he needed to rearrange the bed so that it looked as if only one person had been sleeping in it. He did not want to rouse Nyota, she had been exhausted when she had gone to bed and with the sedative would be drowsy if awoken too soon.

" Twenty- two actually."

"I'm going to go pick up the Uhura's at the shuttle pad, I'll be bringing them straight to your apartment."

" I will be prepared."

" See you soon Spock."

The screen went black. Spock went back into the bedroom and carefully pulled the sheets on his side flat. Then he went to the cubard picked out a fresh uniform and went into the bathroom, it still smelled heavily of the fragrance he had dropped. He showered for exactly three minutes, not enogth to get really clean but it made him feel a little fresher. He got changed and brushed his teeth. Thin dark stubble was covering his chin and cheeks but he did not have time to shave. Instead he replicated a protein bar and made a pot of fresh chamomile tea. It had just finished brewing when the door buzzed.  
Spock took several deep breaths before opening it, he did feel relatively calm in comparison with the day before but he was still not in full control of his emotions. Christopher was stood in front of the door, behind him stood Uhura's parents, both were dressed in jeans and jumpers, prepared for the weather of San Fransisco. They looked tired and anxious, it made them seem older than when he had met them in Africa. Now familiar with Nyota he could pick out the features she had inherited from the both of them, her mothers height, her fathers amber eye color. The similarities made him feel closer to the two people than was warrented from the amount of contact he had actually had with them. He stepped aside and let them enter.

" Where is she?" Nyota's farther asked the moment he was through the threshold.

" In the bedroom, she is sleeping." Spock pointed to the bedroom. " The doctor has given her a strong sedative, I do not think she will be roused easily."

Mr Uhura was already at the door by the time that he had finished his sentence. He entered, Mrs Uhura followed him. Spock felt uneasy as he too followed, he peered into the darkened room. Mr Uhura was stood looking down at his daughter, Mrs Uhura had sat on the bed and was gently brushing the hair from Nyota's face as he had done the night before. He sensed Nyota's mind begin to wake. She stirred, she didn't open her eyes but she muttered.

" Spokh?"  
Her parents both turned to look at him.  
"Your parents are here Nyota."

Her eye's opened, she stared around sleepily.  
" Mama?"

Her Mother answered in Swahili, Spock was glad he did not understand the language it gave them a chance to have a private conversation. He watched as Nyota collapsed sobbing into her mothers arms he wished to reach out to her and comfort her but these were her people, they knew her mind as well as he did. They knew her primary language and were more adept at comforting than he was. He left her alone with her family. Christopher was sat waiting in the front room, he got up and followed Spock into the kitchen where he started to decant the tea into cups.

" How are you doing?"

" I have largely regained control of my emotions."

" That's good."

" Thank you for your company last night."

" Anytime."

Spock handed him a cup of the tea. Chris looked down at it, took a cautious sniff and handed it back to him.

" Mind if I replicate some coffee?"

"No. I will be back soon, I am just going to take these refreshments to Nyota and her family." Spock placed three cups of the tea on a tray. Spock felt awkward as he entered his own bedroom, Mr Uhura had sat at the end of the bed and Mrs Uhura was sat gently stroking Nyota's back as she cried. Spock was again reminded of carrying out the same actions himself the previous night. He was glad that his previously undiscovered instincts to comfort somebody were working in correct order. He silently placed the tray on his side board. Uhura's father met his, he gave a short nod of appreciation. Spock looked over at Nyota, she would need to eat but he doubted she would speak at that moment, he turned back to her father.

" Mr Uhura, your daughter will need to eat, does she have a preferred breakfast dish?"

"Bubble and squeak with eggs."

Spock nodded, he had seen Nyota eat this food stuff before.

" Do you and your wife require anything?"

" Maybe later."

" Of course."

Spock replicated Nyota's favorite breakfast in the kitchen and returning to the bedroom handed it to Nyota's mother who thanked him. He went and sat in the front room silently with Chris, he did not know the correct way to act in this situation. After exactly nineteen minutes Uhura's parents came back into the front room, her mother was carrying an empty plate. Spock and Christopher stood up.

" She's asleep again." Her mother said.

"It is the affects of the sedative." Spock said.

Nyota's mother approached him, Spock watched curiously not knowing her reasons though he noticed with interest that she moved in the same manner that her daughter did, with graceful confidence. Mrs Uhura threw her arms around him, hugging him. Spock was shocked at the sudden contact and felt his body stiffen then reminding himself that this woman's was an integral part of Nyota's life He gently laid a hand on her upper back.

" Akina, it's offensive to a Vulcan to be touched." Uhura's father said.

She pulled away from him, there were tears running down her cheeks.

" I'm sorry commander Spock. I'm just so grateful to you. I knew you were going to be important to our daughter the moment I saw you. Thank you, thank you for saving my daughters life."

" You do not need to thank me. Nyota is the most talented student I have come across since I joined the academy. It would have been the gravest of shames to have lost her. She has strength, intelligence, instincts and grace. She will be a credit to the fleet."

'Nyota's always' talking about you. She said you had befriended her.'

" Indeed. On a personal note, I find you daughters company agreeable and do not wish for any harm to come to her."

Spock stood nervously for a moment. He did not know how to act around these people in this situation, he was not familiar with the rules of conduct. He wished to allow them privacy to deal with the fact that there daughter had been attacked.

'Use my home as if it were your own though please do not enter that room. He indicated towards his meditation room. ' I have thing's to arrange I suspect I will return at midday.'

He nodded to both Nyota's parents and headed out the door.

* * *

Spock sat in his office, he allowed himself a moment of weariness. He rested his head in his hands for a moment, it was the first time since he had awoken that he had been alone. Even though there was the tapping of feet walking down hallways and the whirling of computers it was as quiet as it ever got in the academy. Spock rose from his seat and walked over ti the very limited replicator that he had in his office. He ordered himself a calming herbal tea. He was not fully recovered from the strong emotions of the previous day and the morning had so far been a somewhat taxing one.  
After leaving Nyota he had come to his office and organised cover for the three lectures and evening combat course he was meant to be teaching that day. With a phone call he had handed the combat lesson over to the most promising student of the class, he had told 821 the surprised young man to go over the moves that they had learnt the previous term, to ask where the other cadets were having the  
most difficulties, correct them if he was able and inform him if he was not.  
Two of the lectures a fellow member of the xenolinguistic department agreed to take if Spock would repay him in kind, Spock had forwarded him the lecture slides and notes. The last lecture would have to be cancelled but with some rearranging Spock felt he could write the missed material into the lectures of the following three weeks. Just before nine another member of the department came to his door asking if the rumours were true. Spock had replied that he never listened to either rumours or gossip and would not help with the spreading of information to people whom it did not concern.  
At 9:10 Spock had made his way to the security office to give his deposition. For exactly two hours he had gone over every detail of the night before from him leaving his apartment to entering the hospital ward. The head of security and two other members had questioned him extensively on many things asking him of his primary assessment of Nyota's condition when he had first entered the storage space. They had asked him how he had known that the she was in danger but accepted that it was his Vulcan telepathic abilities, he was thankful that most humans were uncomfortable with the idea of telepathy and most Vulcans were rather private about their abilities, it had led to most members of star fleet being Rather ill informed on the limits of a Vulcans telepathic abilities. When they had asked what he had been doing previous to hearing the cadets call for help he had replied he had been preparing for a date, they had respected his privacy and not asked him with whom.  
The results of the meeting were positive, the head of security had passed his deposition on to star fleets head council along with reports from themselves, Nyota and the doctors. He had told Spock that the head council who were only involved in the most serious of offense from the academy (being involved mainly with interplanetary disputes, diplomatic negotiations, wars and re-locations) but were reluctant to intercede due to their busy and stressful schedules. He had concluded that Spock had acted in self defense, that for the safety of all Williams should be deported off planet and that the actions on all staff had been admirable and too the book. He felt the board would agree with his conclusions so they would not have to give the matter much time. With one less thing to consider Spock headed back to his office, he had mentally checked on Nyota first and found her mind awake but calmer than it had been since the previous evening. Knowing she was safe he resolved to give her more time with her family, they could look after her, keep her safe and show her love. He felt she needed those thing's. Not being able to go to his apartment he headed to his office.  
Sitting down with his drink there was a knock at the door, Spock restrained his annoyance and said 'come in.'

A timid Galia pushed the door open slightly and looked into the room. Spock realized that she had come to him because Nyota had not returned the previous night.

" You may come in Cadet."

Galia walked slowly into the room.

" I must apologize for my behaviour last night Cadet, I did not mean to hurt you. I was not fully in control. I hope your injuries are slight."

Galia stood a few feet from him, she eyed him wearily.

No, no bruises. You just surprised me really. Look commander I know it's not really my business but as Nyota didn't return last night and she is my best friend and roommate I do have to check she's alright.'

" I understand cadet, your concern for a fellow cadet is admirable. Sit down ,I have some difficult information."  
The vivacious Orion sat down across from him. Her arms folded and a slight frown on her lips.

'The reason I was hurried when I visited your apartment last night was because I thought Cadet Uhura was in danger. Unfortunately my suspicions were correct.'

Galia's eyes widened she seemed to take in his words for a moment and then she spoke hurriedly her voice turning high pitched.

" Is she alright? Where is she? What happened?"

'If you allow me a moment to answer. She is recovered from her physical injuries, they were not grave though she did suffer a temporary paralysis. She is currently in my apartment. As for what happened that may take a while to explain.'

Galia looked around his office with the expression of one who is lost in a strange town.

'Paralysed?'

" It was due to a drug that she was injected with."

'I don;t understand.''

'Perhaps I should start from the beginning. I assume that Nyota told you about the threats cadet Williams made against her three weeks ago? Galia nodded. Well last night as Nyota went to return her library book she was attacked and neutralised by Cadet Williams. I heard the attack and was aware that it was Williams who had taken her. You know I came to your apartment to determine where Nyota had been heading when she had been abducted. After you told me had gone to the library I followed the path she would have taken . When I reached the peace gardens I saw indications that was the location she had been taken. I reached the logical conclusion that he would take her to the storage sheds. When I arrived I neutralisedWilliams and contacted the medical team. Nyota had been paralysed by being injected with a drug . She had some bruising and ligament tears her upper arms and wrists. She was treated and released into my care.  
As Spock continued to talk Galia was starting to fidget, it seemed she was becoming increasingly frustrated and upset.

" What did he do to her?"

'He had undressed her, and had threatened certain actions against her.'

'Undressed her?' Galia had begun to cry. Sock felt his usual discomfort .

'He was going to…'

'I understand you are upset by this. But Nyota was not greatly injured though she has found the event quite traumatic more due to the fact she was unable to fight than Williams attempts to violate her.'

Galia hid her face in her hands she sobbed noisily. Spock stood up and went to the replicator he made a second cup of calming tea and placed it in front of Galia. He sat drinking the rapidly cooling liquid as he waited for the girl in front of him to calm down. When he was close to finishing his drink Galia began to talk again, her voice was choked with tears and Spock had to concentrate to understand her words.

" I thought you were out on a date, wen she hadn't come back I thought yu had hooked up."

Galia, remember that I am a teacher and Nyota is a student. We would not 'hook up'.

" All that time I was with Bertie and she was in danger."

" Cadet may I contact somebody to come here and provide comfort for you."

'Nyota's at your apartment. I've got to see her I've got to know she's alright.'

" She is recovering. I do not think it would be wise to invade upon the time she spends with her family."

"Please."

" I shall contact her parents and ask if you will be of any comfort to her."

" Thank you."

Drink the tea, it is bitter but it has a calming effect. He watched as Galia raised the cup to her mouth, sipped it and then winkled her nose and took a large sniff, she wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

Spock could appreciate te irony as he typed his own extention number on the pad below the com screen.

It is Spock, I have an inquiry for the Uhura family. H said clearly so that the Uhura's would not hesitate to answering his private comlink. The screen turned , in front of him was Mr Uhura, he could see half of two bodies ,he recognized them as his Nyota and her mother Akina. The whole family was huddled on his small couch.

" Commander Spock."

'I see miss Uhura has awoken, her roommate is with me she is concerned for her health.'

'Galia?'

Nyota's voice came over the link he heard Galia stand up behind him. There was some shuffling around on screen and then Nyota, tired and still dressed in the spare jumper and sweats she had been given the night before. His heart jumped slightly, it had been four hours since he had held her to him but with her in front of him now it felt too long.

" Hello Miss Uhura. How are you?" Spock waited patiently for a few seconds.

" I feel drained."

" Drained?"

''Of energy, of emotion. Everything aches.''

" I emphasis with you Nyota." Spock said, he looked around at Gala who was stood nervously just beyond the screens view point.

Do you wish to speak to Galia? He asked. Nyota seemed to consider, after 34 seconds she gave a slight nod. Spock turned to Galia who walked over to join him, he moved backwards so that she could take the foreground and he could stay watching Nyota.

" Ny, I'm sorry I thought you were on a date. I should have known you wouldn't had stayed over with anybody, I didn't think, I'm so sorry."#  
'Galia, please I'm okay, I'm tired I just want to rest.'  
Galia lookd a little hurt but she sniffed and then gave a small smile.

'You're okay?'

"I will be." Nyota said. Spock could pick up the uncertainty in her voice.

"I'm glad, I was scared for you. I love you Ny. " Spock envied Galia for being able to say such emotionally charged words with such ease.

" I love you to Lia. I'm sorry I just don't want company. I will call you later."

" I understand just take care of yourself. I'm here if you need me."

"Spock, are you coming home soon?"

" If you and your family do not mind the intrusion I shall be back at the apartment in a few minutes."

" It's your home Spock."

He shut the com link down and turned to Galia. He felt an understanding of the girl that he had never felt before, they were both concerned for Nyota, both felt distressed at the idea of her being hurt and violated. She stood awkwardly looking at him.

" I'm going to go now. I think I need to clean up."

"I shall send you a message this evening on how Nyota is."

" Thank you."

"I believe your distress will affect your work, you may have an extension on all assignment due in my modules."

" Thank you Commander."

* * *

As Spock entered the apartment a spicy smell filled his nose, all members of the Uhura family were huddled together on his sofa eating some kind of spiced lentil dish. Nyota looked up and gave a small smile when he entered.

"Commander Spock." Akina Uhura welcomed him.

He nodded to them

"Doctor McCoy just left, he's given Nyota a clean bill of health so we should be out of your way soon. "Spock nodded at Akina's words.

"Nyota is coming back home with us. " Mr Uhura informed him. Spock felt a suddne shock and pain at the thought of being separated from Nyota, a fear that the possibilities he saw for them had ended. He turned to Nyota his eyes fixed to hers.

" You are leaving the academy?"

" Only for a week or two. McCoy ordered me to take the time off." She answered calmly, Spock felt relieved. " Captain Pike arranged for us to have a shuttle take us back to Africa."

"I shall arrange for you to have the time off and will make sure that you are excused from assignments without penalty."

"Thank you." Nyota put her bowl of food on the table, she looked over at her mother.

Are you ready? Akina asked her.

" Yes."

" You are leaving now?"

"No, i'm just going to my appartment to pack some clothes and get changed."

Spock nodded, as they stood to leave he picked up their bowls and went into the kitchen to clean them. When he returned to the front room he found himself left alone with Mr Uhura. The older man stood up to face him, he was a a few inches shorter than SPock but a lot stockier.

"I must thank you for looking after my daughter Mr Spock. Spock opened hi mouth to speak but Mr Uhura raised his hand to stop him. Do not say that it was nothing or anything that downplays what you have done. When I first met you and you promised to look after Nyota I thought they wetre empty words just to get my signature on a piece of paper. But I was wrong, you have looked after her better than I ever thought possible. Nyota is always mentioning you when she calls. She loves you. " Spock raised an eyebrow at this statement. " She loves you, not like a student loves a favorite teacher but as a friend and mentor. You have been good to her."

" Vulcans do not make promises lightly, and your daughter is an impressive yooung woman, it is an honor to be considered a friend by her."

"Can I ask you what's going to happen now? Is Nyota going to have to go to court or something ?"

" No, it is not a civil matter. It will be handelled by star fleet and they already have a recording of her version of the event."

" And what of that man, what of Williams?"

"It is likely that when he has recovered from his injuries he will be deported to an off planet prison. A psychiatrist here has said he is suffering from some form of mental illness so he is likely to be kept in a psychiatric ward, I assure you though, he will not be free to return to this planet for a number of years."

" His injuries? "

Captain Pike didn't tell us much of what happened. Nyota had filled us in somewhat but she was not fully aware of everything that was happening.

"Force was necessary to neutralise Williams, he sustained severe head injuries. He will be able to function, eventually. But the full extent of the damage done to his brain is not yet known. I am confident that the charges against me will be dropped."

" The charges against you?"

"Williams almost died, I used greater force than necessary. "

Spock realised he was going into a lot of unnecessary details. It did not concern this man if he was facing charges he merly wished to know that there would be justice for his daughter. He wondered why he felt a closeness to the man he had only met twice.

" That's wrong, you were protecting my daughter."

"As I said, it is likly that the charges will be dropped without trial."

" I think I made the wrong decision in allowing Nyota to come to the academy."

"" Your daughter has expressed the wish to see other planets and meet other cultures. Star Fleet is the only opportunity she will have to do this."

" But the risks."

" There are undeniably numerous risks, but there is also numerous opportunities."

Spock was reminded of making a similar argument to his mother when he had been packing to leave for Earth

" I would take her from the accademy if I could, she's still underage. I still have a say in the matter."

2I do not understand.I do not wish Nyota to leave but for clarification, if you have the power to take Nyota from the academy why do you say you cannot?"

Mr Uhura sat down.

"Because she would never forgive me. " His voice betrayed a hidden sadness. " She is my youngest child, she is precious too me. Just as my other two children and unborn grandchild are precious to me. Nyota though, she is the most like me. I have always understood her motivations and dreams and that is not true for the others. Having her be so far away from me causes great worry and a sense that something is missing. But all children must be given freedom to grow to their full potentials and be happy."

" Indeed."

Spock considered the man in front of him, considered his love and concern and connection to Nyota. It seemed foreign to him, his farther had never understood him. He had never seen his aspirations and had been disappointed when Spock had chosen to join Star Fleet instead of attending the Vulcan science academy as generations of his forefathers had. They had not spoken since Spock had come to Earth, Spock admired his farther, respected his intelligence and diplomatic skills but he found him cold, even in Vulcan terms.

Spock was about to answer further when the door buzzed signaling the return of Nyota and her Mother. Instead he nodded respectfully to the Farther of the young woman who meant soo much to him and went to open the door. Nyota had changed into jeans and an unflattering large jumper. It hid her curves, Spock did not think he approved. He stepped aside to allow them to enter. The two women stood a few foot into the room, Akina looked over to her husband.

" The shuttle should be ready in a few minutes, are you ready to leave?"

Mr Uhura looked across at Spock for a moment then back to his wife.

"Yes, I 'm ready. "He stood up, Nyota stepped forwards , she looked nervous.

" Mother may I speak to Commander Spock in private for a moment?"

Akina looked at Spock, he could sense her suspicions but Mr Uhura answered the question for her.

"Of course you can hunny, we'll be waiting outside for you. "

Uhura's parents walked out of his apartment, when the door was firmly closed behind them Spock turned to Nyota. She was looking at the floor, chewing her lip slightly.

" Do you have concerns about becoming behinfd in your studies?" Spock asked, Nyota gave a small bitter smile.

" I should be, but it isn't even on my list of concerns at the moment."

Spock nodded, he unconsciously took a step closer to Nyota. Watching him Nyota walked toward him so they could stand a mere two foot apart from each other, Spock found comfort in their closeness. He would not think about the miles that there would soon be between them, it was only for a few Weeks.

" I just wanted to know if you're going to be alright?"

Spock considered his answer.

"I am not alright, but there is nothing that is occurring, or is likely to occur that I cannot handle."

" You're okay with me leaving?" She asked timidly.

" I will be happy to know that you are safe and under the care of those who love you."

Nyota looked down, she did not seem willing to met his eyes as she talked.

" Spock I.. I" She shook her head and looked up at him, she gave that small bitter smile that made him feel slightly uncomfortable.  
" I'm just glad to have met you."

"The feeling in mutual Nyota."

" YOu'll take care of yourself whilst I'm gone."

"Yes, as always."

Nyota turned to leave him.

"Nyota. "She turned back to him, her eyes expressing a deep sadness he could not understand.

" May I speak frankly?"

" Always Spock."

"You have an inner strength that I do not believe you recognise or know how to fully utilise. I believe that you will soon recover from the negative effects of this experience. Sarek once said that there are undiscovered positives in tragedy though It can be years before they make themselves known."

" What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. "Nyota said sadly.

" I do not see the logic in that statement, Illnesses may not kill you but they may physically weaken you for the rest of your life. But i do believe that you may learn to better utilise your own inner strength."

"It doesn't feel that way now."

Spock looked at Nyota, the dark circles around her eyes the slump of her shoulders, she looked vulnerable, and very young. Spock took a step closing the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. Nyota responded holding him tightly her face buried against his shoulder, breath tickling his cheek. He allowed himself to hold her for thirty seconds but knew that her parents were waiting outside and would be becoming curious and restless, he pulled her away, held her at arms length. Nyota looked into his eyes for a moment then bent towards him placing a soft kiss on his cheek. The she turned and walked to the door.

"I will accompany you to the shuttle pad. "Spock said.

Nyota nodded and her followed her out. Her parents were stood waiting.

" Sorry, I just had to ask the commander to send me through the lecture notes and inform me of any assignments. Just so I can keep up and not be confused when I get back."

Her parents nodded and they headed silently down to the shuttle pad. The Galileo was waiting for them, the pilot at the front was young, probably a cadet eager to get the experience. Spock stood apart from the Uhura family watching them get ready to leave, when they had secured their bags in the shuttle they came back down to say goodbye to him, he appreciated the courtesy.

"Bye commander, you have our eternal gratitude and if you ever wish to visit Africa know that you are welcome in our home." Mr Uhura said, Akina did not speak.

"Thank you. Live long and prosper. " Spock raised his hand in the traditional Vulcan farewell.

Mr Uhura looked down at his own hand for a moment, he seemed to be trying to spread his fingers as Spock was doing, he gave up after twenty- two seconds.

" Goodbye Spock."

Akina and Mr Uhura started up the shuttle steps, Nyota followed close behind. As she reached the top she turned and looked at him for a moment, She raised her hand, her finger spread into the V shape, and then she moved out of sight. Spock backed a safe distance from the shuttle and watched it leave. She was safe and would be back soon he told himself but it did not erase the slight ache he felt in the vicinity of his heart.

* * *

February 17th Afternoon.

Spock had been felt contentment at being able to get back to work It kept his mind off a certain young lady who was 10 567 miles away. He had taken his morning lectures and was sat in his office marking assignments when his com link went beeped. Spock walked over to the screen and turned int on to find Sinclair staring back at him.

" Good afternoon Commander, I trust you are well."

" Spock, come to my office. Now."

Spock shut down the com link and walked down the hall too the head of departments office. He knocked and entered. Sinclair was behind his desk but he was not the only on in the office. Doctorow McCoy, Chris Pike and Doctor Ohakim were sat in chairs arranged in a semi circle around Sinclairs desk. Spock could sense the tension in the room, he siklently sat in the one empty chair to the right of Doctor Okahim. Something unforeseen was occurring and he could not decipher what it was.

" Spock." Sinclair adressed him. " There have been certain accusations made against you."

"By the arrangement of this meeting and the absence of a tribunal I assume these accusations are not official, may I ask what there nature is?"

Sinclair shifted dslightly in his chair.

"I have called this meeting to determine whether the matter needs to go to tribunal. The incident between yourself, ex-cadet Williams and Cadet Uhura has raised certain issues. "

"I must know the nature of these issues and accusations to be able to give you a competent answer, As to you determining whether there is need for a tribunal It suggests that you have no evidence to prove such accusation. I also have the right to know the identity of my accuser."

Spock answered. He felt calm, he had not committed any offense that he was aware of and it was obvious to him that they had no evidence to suggest that he had.

" Doctor Ohakim has suggested to me that you are having sexual relations with Cadet Uhura."

" I am not having a sexual relationship with the cadet, though I do consider her a friend." Spock answered confidently and truthfully.

"Doctor Ohkim tells me that on the fourteenth she witnessed several incidents that suggested that your relationship with Uhura was more than that of a teacher and a student. Can you clarify which incidents you are referring to. A lot happened on the night of the fourteenth and morning of the fifteenth commander. I have to admit that through most of it I was not fully in control of my emotions nor acting logically due to a copious amount of adrenaline in my system. I believe that Doctor McCoy can attest to this."

" It's true." McCoy said.

"The incidents Doctor Ohakim has recorded are.. " Sinclair looked down at the PADD on the desk in front of him. That you reached out as if to touch Miss Uhura, whihc seems unusual given Vulcans dislike of physical contact and a psychotic episode in which. "

" I object. " Doctor McCoy interrupted, Sinclair stared up at him.

"In my profession apionion it was something akin to a panic attack brought on by the stress and trauma of the incident. To call it a psychotic episode makes the commander seem mentally incompetent, do you really think that? "

"No. "Sinclair answered wearily." Commander Spock has always seemed to me to be completely stable."

He turned to Ohakim who was frowning at McCoy.

" I think it would be wise for you change the wording of your report Doctor."

Ohakim gave a grudging nod.

"If I may continue, the report Say's that Spock collapsed and just before being sedated was heard to say 'I could not protect her. Later in the evening you were seen to have a highly emotional conversation with the cadet. "

"What was the content of that conversation?" Spock asked Doctor Ohakim, though he could remember perfectly he knew that he had been speaking in the rare dialect of his home at the time.

" I don't know, I do not understand the language you were conversing in."

"Then I shall inform you of the content. I was apologising for my emotional behaviour as I believe it had concerned her and I instructed her to continue answering your questions. As for the other incidents you recorded it is true that I reached out to the cadet in an act of comfort and I did fell guilt at not being able to protect one of the students under my care."

" You admit to it."

" Yes."

"Trying to comfort somebody, expressing feelings of guilt, it's abnormal behaviour for a Vulcan."

Spock felt a twinge of anger at his differences from the rest of his race being pointed out. It was the first time that a Human had done so, though it was a frequent topic of conversation between other Vulcans in his acquaintance. He suppressed it, emotion would serve no use to him in this situation.

"You are not qualified to access what is abnormal behaviour in a Vulcan, you are a phychologist of humans are you not. Even if you were qualified in the psychology of Vulcans, a study that does not exist, you would still be unable to juge what is normal for a half- Vulcan half- Human, I am the only one, there is no president. I may choose to follow the Vulcan path but I do have a duality of nature. I can experience empathy guilt and fear."

Spock did not like revealing so much of himself but he felt it was necessary. Doctor Ohakim did not answer, she starred at him with a haughty and angry expression. Sinclair broke the tense silence.

" Doctor McCoy, you were on duty on the fourteenth and treated both Cadet Uhura and Commander Spock, did you witness anything that suggested to you that Commander Spock and Cadet Uhura are involved in a relationship that is more than the friendship he has already admitted too?"  
Spock felt himself tense, the docto0r seemed to take far to long to answer. Spock wondered if he was debating on wether to reveal his own suspicions that he and Nyota were in a relationship.

" No."

Spock almost smiled with relief.

"As a doctor I have unfortunately witnessed the aftermath of many traumatic events. What I saw was two people, who having gone through a traumatic experience together, try to comfort one another. The need to comfort each other and have some form of physical comfort after such an event is normal."

Sinclairs eyebrows rose and Ohakim smiled thinking that the table had turned. McCoy noticed and quickly continued to speak.

" Like resting a hand on ones shoulder or holding hands. Little acts of comfort."

"Which of these signs of physical comfort did you witness between Spock and Uhura?" Sinclair asked. McCoy hesitated, he met Spock's eyes for a moment.

" He held her hand whilst she was crying."

Spock sensed discomfort in Sinclair at the thought of a personal and intimate action. He himself felt a moment of embarrassment that his superior and others knew of this.

" What man wouldn't, a young girl like that terrified out of her wits." McCoy said slight anger seeping into his voice.

"Captain Pike, I know that you and Commander Spock are friends, have you ever had a conversation about cadet Uhura?"

Chris, the furthest from Spock looked across to meet his eyes. Sinclair gave a fake cough, obviously believing they were communicating in some manner.

" Yes, Spock has mentioned several times that he find Uhura to be a bright student and that he is impressed with her. He has also mentioned a growing friendship between them."

"Has Spock ever mentioned that he desired a relationship with Uhura that was beyond friendship?"

" No conversation has ever occured." Chris lied smoothly.

Sinclair seemed to relax in his chair, he gave a relieved sigh.

"Well, the accusations are, as i suspected all along, completely unfounded. Doctor Ohakim, I believe that your lack of knowledge on Vulcan psychology has led you to misjudge the situation. Spock I apologies for having to bring you in like this."

Spock nodded/.

You are all free to leave. Doctor Ohakim stood up and left the room quickly Chris turned nodded to Spock as he too headed out but doctor McCoy waited for Spock and walked out with him, he matched his pace as he walked down the hallway, just outside the door to Spock's office Spock turned to him sensing the doctor wished to speak with him.

" Doctor, I must thank you..."

"Don't. I did it for Nyota, do you realise that she could be thrown out of the academy!" McCoy spoke in an angry whisper despite the hall being empty.

"We have not done anything to warrant that."

" Like hell. She's a seventeen year old girl."

"Perhaps you did not hear me earlier Doctor, I am not having a sexual relationship with Nyota."

" But you want to."

" That does not concern you."

" So help me if I think you've hurt her in any way."

"Then what doctor? Threats are illogical and they do not concern me. "

Spock opened his door and walked in allowing It to close on the doctor, just before it locked into place he heard the doctor voice.

" Green blooded hobgoblin."


	15. I've got a thing for little green men

Hello, so computer is back up and running, well close enough. Also I have started to go over and correct most typos, I can't promise to spot them all but I'll try so chapter one has now been corrected and chapter two will be done tomorrow (and so on).

Please enjoy chapter 15, I've got a thing for little green men.

March 11th

In his dream she moved above him. Eyes closed lips deliciously parted. Her dark hair fell loosely around her shoulders trailing down to half hide her pert breasts. She gasped his name voice husky and breathless.

Spock awoke his shame and guilt of imagining Nyota in such a way without her permission, especially given the circumstances in which he knew her body, did not last long. She was coming back to him today. This morning she would be back. He would meet her at the shuttle pad and take her t breakfast. She had not been two weeks as she had said but twenty three days. He had relieved two messages from her notifying him that she was stay at home a little longer than expected. Each time he had felt disappointment and had trouble concentrating for a few hours after.

He had spent the majority of his evening since she had left meditating and felt as if he had fully gained control of his emotions and regain a sense of peace ad balance in his life.

He got up from his bed, headed straight for the shower. He stayed under the steaming hot water for twenty minutes, shaved and then wrapped a towel around his waist as he went through the front room into the bedroom. He got a second towel out of the closet and rubbed his hair dry. The he picked the newest of his gray uniforms out and put them on. He went back to the bathroom and combed his hair. Then he left his apartment for the shuttle pad.

He had arrived ten minutes before the regular shuttle from the airport to the academy was due to arrive. As he entered the long building, he saw a familiar figure on the middle walkway. She looked up and smiled widely at seeing him. Spock felt his lips twitch in response. She was wearing a star fleet uniform but instead of her dress she had chosen to wear the less popular trouser and jacket version. But she wore her hair down, she carried a small duffel in her back. Spock stopped and watched her walk towards him. When she was two feet from him he reached his hand out too her and she gave that wonderful smile again and handed him her bag.

" Nyota." He could hear the reverence in his own voice.

" Hi Spock."

Spock turned and started to walk her to the cadet dorms. She walked beside him matching his strides exactly. They both seemed to sense that words were unnecessary, Spock just delighted in having her mind on the fridge of his own again and that wonderful smell of raspberries.

They took the stairs up to her apartment and walked down the hallway, when they reached her door. Nyota turned t him and smiled again as she opened the door. He could sense how happy she was to see him and knowing that they were feeling the exact same emotions seemed to add to his joy.

The door slid open. One moment Nyota was stood smiling in front of him the next moment there was a tangle of covered and green limbs sprawled on the floor.

" Nyota I'm so sorry."

Galia ungraciously untangled herself and after a few touches and giggles both girls were left kneeling on the floor. Galia looked at her friend, she bit her lip in anxiety. Nyota sat staring at her for a moment and then a wide and honest smile spread across her face and she laughed loudly. Spock was glad to feel tightness in his chest and the stomach flip that her laughter caused in him. Fir the first time in twenty- five days he knew she was alright.

" Its okay, you just caught me off balance."

Nyota said the two girls looked at each other for another moment and then the hugged each other, Spock felt slightly moved t see tears well in Galia's eyes, he didn't think he had truly appreciated the depth of the friendship the unlikely roommate shared for each other.

" I've missed you Lia."

" Me too, it's been so only since you left I had to have people sleepover but you weren't here so you can't get angry at me, I didn't kill your plant."

Nyota gave a short laugh.

" I'm not angry. I'm sorry I was gone so long."

" It's okay, you needed it. Are you alright now Ny?"

" Yes. I'm okay now." Nyota said confidently. She looked up at Spock, their eyes meeting for a few moments.

" Galia, can you give me an hour? I need to discuss catching up with my the commander."

Galia looked between the two of them then nodded.

Okay." Galia jumped to hr feet and held her hand out to help Nyota up.

"You hurry back and I'll unpack for you."

Spock handed Galia the bag.

" See you in an hour." Nyota said and Spock walked with her down to the mess hall. Spock kept looking across at Nyota as they walked, he found it hard to keep his eyes from her.

" You look happy." He said as they exited the student building and into the sunlight.

" I needed to be at home. I needed the support of my family but I'm glad to be back. I've missed the freedom, the lectures and of course Galia." She Smiled across at him. " And you."

" I have felt your absence." Spock confessed quietly.

They entered the mess hall and headed straight for the replicator when they saw the long queue for the fresh food. Spock smiled when he saw Nyota head towards the last empty table with a bowl of Plomeet soup. He himself ordered bubble and squeak with eggs hoping she would understand the irony. Spock sat across from her he looked at her for a moment.

" You are truelly well?" He asked.

" Yes Spock. I am, and you?"

" I am well. I do not wish to upset you but I must inform you that Williams has been deported off world."

" He's gone?" Nyota's voice betrayed some relief.

" Yes Nyota."

" I don't have to be scared anymore?"

" No Nyota, you don't."

Nyota looked around her the mess hall was at full capacity only their table had free seats, students always seemed to avoid sitting near to Spock. The room was noisy and nobody was paying much attention to a student and teacher talking over breakfast. She leaned forwards and spoke in his home dialect.

"_ I wish I could touch you._" Her eye's were bright and intense. Spock felt his heartbeat increase but he knew he could not allow this sort of behavior, their were already people becoming suspicious about the nature of their relationship, although Ohakim's accusations had been thrown out they would stay in her and Sinclair's mind, McCoy seemed positive that he was in asexual relationship with Nyota and Chris knew that they had created some kind of bond but not even Spock knew the nature of it.

_"We must not do such thing's in public. I did not see any reason to tell you this but Doctor Ohakim made accusations that my relationship with you is.. less than innocent. I feel that we should avoid being seen together so much._" Nyota's face dropped. " _Perhaps instead of eating in the mess hall on Wednesday's after our one to one lesson we could eat in my office?"_

Nyota seemed to consider his words for a moment.

_"What do you mean by less than innocent?"_

_" She suggested that we were having a sexual relationship."_

Nyota stared open mouthed at him for a second then blushed and looked away.

_"I am sorry, I should not have told you."_

_" No I want you to be honest with me."_

_" I embarrassed you."_

_" No, I just …. Yes you embarrassed me. But it's better than keeping thing's from me."_

_" Just be aware that people are watching us now."_

_" Us?"_

_" You and I, our friendship."_

_" Our friendship?"_

Spock did not know why she didn't understand the statement, he had told her he considered her a friend before.

_" Yes, our friendship."_

" I'd better get back to Galia before she comes looking for me."

Spock nodded, they had both finished eating and she wished to spend time with her friend. But he did not want her to go, it was the first time they had had a proper conversation in months.

_" Yes, Nyota will you come to my office at 14:00 I can help you to catch up on the lectures that you have missed."_

" I did read through all the module notes you sent me but I could use some clarification and extra information on somethings."

He watched her as she left, his eyes rested for a few seconds on the sway of her hips.

* * *

At 14:03 the door to Spock's office buzzed, he felt her presence close to him. He had been anticipate her arrival. He ran a hand over her hair smoothing it down.

" Come in."

Nyota looked into the room cautiously. Seeing he was alone she walked in. Spock stood up, Nyota smiled at him then turned around and pressed the button to close the door. They were alone at last. Spock walked quickly towards her, she met him in the middle of the room. They stopped their bodies almost touching. Their fingers reached out for each others and they intertwined. Spock felt the bond between them flair . He felt her happiness at their reunion and the twinkling warmth of her katra.

His other hand reached for her face and ran along the soft smooth skin of her cheek. He felt her fingers running through his hair, tussling it slightly.

" Soft." She muttered. He was entranced by the movement of those plump lips. He felt her desire from him, deep and powerful longing that left him breathless. He ran his fingers along her silken moist lips and gasped as they parted and moved against his fingers. He shivered as her teeth nipped at the sensitive pad of his forefinger. He moved his fingers away from her face. He ran his hands up her arms for a moment before drawing away.

" I am glad you are back Nyota."

" Yes, as am I."

" Now, how can I assist you?'

* * *

March 20th

Spock changed into his exercise clothes, carefully folded his uniform and walked on the hall of the sports complex to put them in his locker. Then he headed out to the track, passing one of the gymnasiums and a window overlooking the pool. It was relatively busy at this time of the morning with cadets doing llaps before their lectures began. As Spock entered the quad he saw around a dozen of his students waiting for him. There were another ten to arrive.

"Warm up exercises." Spock shouted.

He ached the cadets spread out on the grass in the middle of the track. Each started to perform various exercises. It was then that he noticed copious amounts of well toned long legs revealed by academy standard shorts. Nyota was not a member of his advanced fitness class, he had not received any notification that she had been moved up. He could not ask her now the rest of the students were arriving.

At exactly 7:30 Spock called to his students again.

" Ten laps. Cadet Uhura, I need to inform you of our routine"

Nyota approached him, he lowered his voice.

" Cadet, I was not notified of your transfer."

" There wasn't any notification because Adams would not allow me to move up, he does not think I am ready."

Spock raised his eyebrows.

" Then why are you here?"

" I can't move to advanced combat unless I have completed several months of advanced fitness."

" I was under the impression that you had only been moved up to intermediate level combat last week."

" Yes."

" So why do you think you will be ready to move up at the beginning of next year ?"

He did not mention that only twenty percent of students ever got into the advanced classes, only seven percent completed them.

" Because I have to be." Nyota's voice had twinges of desperation in it, her eyes were beseeching.

" Explain."

" I need to get into advanced combat. I need to learn to protect myself."

He wished he could tell her that she never had to be scared, that he would always protect her but he knew it was impossible to be with her every minute at every day. Though with her linked to his mind he would sense when she was in danger he could not protect her from everything.

" I will give you a trial period in advanced fitness but I will move you back down if I believe you are over stretching yourself."

Nyota gave a small smile a nodded.

" Laps Cadet."

" Thank you commander." She said as she joined the others on the track. Spock kept his eyes on her more than the other students. The laps did not seem to phase her and she was neither the slowest nor the fastest in the class, but he knew she had previous experience in running. When the first student had finished his laps he ran back to the grass.

" Green level, 80 sit- ups 80 push ups, Orange level 100 sit ups 100 push ups, red level 130 sit ups 130 push ups. Uhura, you start on green."

He watched the cadets run onto the field and fall into there sit ups. Spock walked around his student he stopped besides cadet Denver.

" Congratulations Cadet you will be moving up to Orange next week."

" Thank you commander."

At the end of the eighty sit- ups Nyota had slowed considerably, a thin sheen of sweat covered her long limbs. Half way through the push ups her arms began to wobble and after three more he saw her arm faltered and she fell to the side rolled on to her back and heaving a few breaths. One of the male cadets stopped what he was doing and approached her but she got back up and continued. The cadet shock his head and dropped back to the floor. Spock concentrated on the link between them he could sense her tiredness and the weakening of her limbs. She was not ready to be in his group, she would cause herself and injury and he could not allow that even if she would not like him denying her anything. Even if he himself did not want to deny her anything she desired. Spock approached Nyota he knelt on the floor next to her. This close to her he could hear the struggling of her breaths.

" Cadet, take a break, drink some water and join us in the gym."

" I can do it." She panted.

" That was an order cadet."

She looked up at him. Then nodded and stood up, walking into the building.

Spock led his students into the gymnasium, they would be concentrating on weights. Nyota was already sat at the end waiting for them, he nodded for her to join him. He instructed the students to continue with their own routines, suggesting to a few that they increase the weights on their bar.

" Cadet, do you wish to continue?"

" Yes."

" There is a lower weight limit you are expected to begin the class at, but I sense you have already caused some strain to your pectoralis major and biceps brachii and to bench above your usual weight would cause greater strain."

_"Stop being so protective Spock!_" She snapped at him.

_" You are being insubordinate cadet."_

She look him her mouth slightly open and then shook her head.

" Sorry Commander."

She walked away from him. He watched her as she started on the weights and then moved on to the rowing machine. He knew that she was being foolish to continue, she had stained her leg and arm muscles She was tired and a little dehydrated, and she had a full day of lectures to complete. He didn't understand why she wished to push herself so far beyond her physical limits, there was nothing to be gained from it. She had said that she needed to protect herself, was this sudden reckless desire due to her inability to protect herself from William's attack?

As all the students left to shower or swim laps he called her over.

" Cadet Uhura a word."

He felt some trepidation she approached him.

" Cadet, you have not yet reached the required entrance level for this class."

He could sense her anger. She straightened up, he could sense she was about to argue with him. He interceded wishing to keep her calm.

_" Nyota, I am sorry but I must insist that you return to intermediate class. When you are ready you can join my advanced class but not before."_

_"I am ready."_ The Vulcan words sounded strange with her angry tone.

_"You told me you wished me to be honest with you."_

Nyota seemed to deflate, her shoulder slumped and Spock could sense the misdirected anger draining out of her.

_" Yes, even if I don't like what you have to say."_

* * *

Saturday March 28th

Spock had sent a message to Nyota asking her to meet him at the library at 11:00 . She had shown no anger towards him in the last week. It seemed that she had accepted his decision not to allow her to join his class. Still he had thought about how strong her desire to learn to protect herself had been and he wished to help her. He had come up with several ways in which he could help her until she was ready to join his class. He would start with the easiest and possibly most useful.

He had sat near the entrance of the library reading a short article on an experimental warp core cooling system. A shadow fell over the screen, he looked up to see Nyota standing besides him. She moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the table from him.

'Do you mind if I finish reading? It should not take more than two minutes."

" No, course not."

He finished reading the article and looked up at her. She had been watching him quietly.

"Good morning Nyota. I trust you are well."

"Yes, quite well thank you. Just a little puzzled".

"Puzzled?"

"As to why you asked to see me on a Saturday, not that I mind at all, It's just that you've never done that before."

"You wish to learn to defend yourself ?"

She sighed.

"I need to learn to protect myself Spock. I don't want …. I don't want anybody to hurt me like .. like he did."

"Nyota, that night you dd not know there was any danger. You were taken by surprise and had less than a few seconds to react. It may not have been possible to defend yourself even with the best training,"

"Are you saying that there was nothing that I could have done?"

" I believe that there was very little that you could have done."

" Perhaps that's even worse. To be powerless to protect myself."

"I will teach you to protect yourself."

"You're going to teach me hand to hand combat?"

"I thought we would start with something easier but just as useful."

She gave a small conspiring smile.

"Spock, what are we dong today?"

"Am I right in assuming you have never fired a phaser?"

She stared at him

"You know we're not allowed to do phaser training till the second year."

"That's not necessarily true, you are allowed to have one to one lessons with somebody authorized to teach. They're just not offered very often."

"And you're offering?"

" Yes."

"I can't say no then."

"You can say no. I would not force you, it is completely voluntarily, it's your free time."

"Spock, I'm not going to say no."

"I've booked a gallery for 11:15 till 12:00, will you join me for lunch afterward?"

" I thought you didn't want to be seen with me as often any more."

" I thought we could eat outside of the academy grounds, if that is acceptable to you."  
She smiled and he felt that now familiar stomach flip.

" It's more than acceptable."

" Shall we depart now?"

" Yes."

He got up and walked down the aisles to replace the book from whence it came. Nyota waited for him at the doorway. They walked side by side across the field at the back of the library to the long building that had the singular purpose of enclosing young people learning to use deadly weapons for the first time. In the entirety of the academy history there had only been one fatality, one was enough.

The gallery was always manned, first and second year students had to be accompanied by those with teaching permits. Third years were allowed into the gallery on their own if they had passed there second year training but they were only allowed modified safety phasers permanently set to stun.

Spock signed them in at the front desk, he lead Nyota through the hallways to the armory where he placed his hand on the door panel, his palm was scanned.

"Voice identification required." The feminine electronic voice announced.

" Commander Spokh, authorization code Delta Three Seven Alpha Romeo."

" Code accepted, welcome commander Spock."

He turned to Nyota.

" Stay here."

" Okay."

Spock entered the armory, the walls were lined with multiple titanium cases. Spock went to the first on on his left and unlocked it, he took out two of the safety phasers and checked they were fully loaded and in proper working order. He locked the door behind him as he left.

" I booked the short distance stationary tunnel, it goes back to a distance of fifteen meters."

" Sounds like a good place to start."

" Indeed. Follow me."

He led her to the tunnel he had booked. Next year when she would take lessons in here it would be with fifty other students, she would get the fire the phaser twice in an hours lesson. He would give her a more complete education.

He started to explain to her how on an ordinary phaser she would change the settings, how it worked, how long the power cells could last , how to charge them and what to do if they overloaded. She listened intently, her eyes boring into his, smiling and nodding every so often. Having her stand so close to him made his heartbeat increase twelve percent. When he handed her the phaser her hands were trembling.

" There is no need to be nervous Nyota, as I said it is a modified phaser, you cannot turn it off stun."

" I know, I've just never held a weapon before."

" Perhaps it would help if you think of the phaser as less of a weapon and more of a tool, on star ships they have been used as drills, heating devices and batteries."

" Okay, deep breaths right?" She said with a small weary smile.

" Stay calm and aim. Do not worry about speed it will come with time."

Spock approached the computer terminal to the left of the the large glass screen, the long tunnel beyond was dark. Spock turned the lights on and programmed the large glass screen to slide apart in two halves. Then he had one humanoid shaped target appear out of a trap door in the floor. He moved it back five meters so that Nyota could get used to firing the weapon.

"The target will light up for red where you have hit it and resets ten seconds afterward. There is a slight kickback, it will not hurt you but it takes a couple of shots to get used to."

"Okay." She walked to the middle of the gallery. She stood shoulder squared, she spread her feet and aimed the phaser with two hands. She inhaled deeply and fired a 1.2 second burst. She dropped her arms and stood staring at the target. Spock walked to stand beside her, the right shoulder of the target had lit up.

" Average for a first try Cadet."

She turned and smiled.

" It;s the weekend Spock, I'm Nyota today."

" Of course, it is the teaching environment."

" How do I become above average?"

" Practice." She smiled at his response.

" What can I do to improve now?'

" Relax your stance and shot with one hand. There will be many occasions in which you will not have both hands free, It is best to learn from the start than try to correct it later."

" Okay, can I try again?"

Spock nodded and took a few steps back. She raised one arm this time but Spock noticed there was still a ridgedness to her stance. There was a stream of red light and a woshing noise as the energy beam cut through the air. The target lit up red on the vicinity of the pelvis.

" Although I am sure that a hit to that part of the anatomy would disable a target there is a batter chance of hitting the target at a distance if you aim for the chest as it is the widest part of a humanoids body and has the smallest percentage of resistance against both stun and kill shots."  
Nyota's smile faltered at the mention of a kill shot.

" Nyota, the occasions in which Star Fleet officers have had to shot to kill are few and all were well justified."  
She nodded.

" Do you wish to continue?"

She stared at the floor for the briefest of seconds and then met his eyes and nodded solemnly.

" Yeah, I do."

" I will demonstrate a proper stance to you."

Spock raised all five of the targets, set two of them at a distance of twelve meters, the other three at a distance of fifteen meters. He approached the tunnel and shot five short bursts, hitting all the target directly in the left of the chest. He turned to speak to Nyota her eyes quickly flickered up to his, she blushed slightly.

" Did you take note of the differences in our stances and how it affected the aim?"

" Yes, um yes."

Spock placed his phaser down on the side of the console. He indicated for her to fire again. She took up her previous stance, Spock went to stand directly behind her.

" Your feet are too far apart, move them three inches closer. Good, now turn your body at the waist twenty degrees to your left , drop your left shoulder. Now you can fire."

He moved to her side. She hit the first target in the vicinity of the stomach. He watched her bite her lip.

" Your right arm is slightly bent at the elbow."

He watched her straighten it slightly. Then after thirteen seconds she fired again. This time she hit the target straight in the chest. He watched her wide smile.

" I did it!" She said her voice excited, Spock felt the sudden impulse to kiss her but her restrained it and spoke.

" Do not loose concentration now Nyota, there are still the three distant targets."

The smile stayed on her face as she fired at the three other targets. She missed the first completely, the smile faded and he sensed her disappointment. She dropped her arm, took a deep breath to steady herself then aimed again. This time she hit the target in the head, the next two she hit square in the chest.

" Practice." She said her voice happy.

" It is 11:58, we must return the phasers to the armory now. Do you wish to do this again at some point in the near future?"  
" Yes, I do."  
" I will book the gallery for the same time next week if that is acceptable to you?"

" That's acceptable Spock."

* * *

They sat down at a quiet corner table in a small sandwich bar. Spock was happy to be out with her in their free time, for the first time since Thanks Giving he felt he had free rein to ask her anything he wished and not to have to concentrate their conversation around Linguistics and academy aspirations.

" May I ask a number of personal inquires?" Spock asked.

" Of course."

" I wish to know about your home, your siblings."

" You know I have two siblings a brother and a sister." Spock nodded. " Both are older. My Brother is the oldest, he;s twenty-five, he got married three years ago and he's wife is now pregnant with there first child, it's due in two months. My sister Nyonda is twenty-three she's very protective of me. I think you'd like her, well you'd have thing's to talk about at least, she's a conservationist."

" An interesting field."

" It's the only thing she's passionate about, that and partying."

" Is it on planet conservation?"

" Yes, she was turned down a position on a science ship. Moving animal species who were similar to our primates off a dying world and releasing them on a suitable class M planet with no indigenous lifeforms."

" Do you know her reasons?"

" She's a little xenophobic. She's not a bigot or anything." Nyota said quickly. " She just believes in preserving our planet first."

" That is logical."

" She was a little upset with me when I joined Star Fleet, she never actually said anything but she kept joking I was only signing up because I had a thing for little green men."

" I do not understand, what does 'a thing for little green men' mean?"

" Little green men was a pre- first contact saying for alien races."

" Pre- first contact Humans did not know there were other inhabited planets in the universe."

"No, they didn't know but some suspected there were. There are so many star systems out there I guess they thought it was inevitable. They used to draw what these aliens would look like as little green men."

" Did they not realize that there would also be a female of the species or did they assume that all alien lifeforms would reproduce A-sexually."  
Nyota laughed.

" I don't know Spock, but I'm guessing those first Vulcans who landed on earth gave the inhabitants a bit of a surprise."

" Indeed though I have often heard Humans comment that because of Vulcans green blood the lighter skinned of the race appear to have green tinged skin."

She leaned in closer to him over the table, biting her lip as if she was concentrating hard on his face, she looked down and gave a short laugh.

" Yeah, you are slightly green. You're not little though."

" It depends on what your point of comparison is. We are on average 4.6 inches taller than humans, but a lot smaller than some none humanoid species."

" You are a little in comparison to none- humanoid species, slightly green man."

' Yes, that is a correct, though somewhat lacking description"

" I guess my sister was right then."


	16. Barriers

Chapter 16 Barriers.

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

- Rumi

April 4th.

She had reverted back to her previous stiff stance. Spock watched her fire the phaser a few times, missing one and barely hitting the others. She turned to look at him a slightly puzzled expression, she didn't realize what she was doing wrong. Spock slowly walked over to her, he stepped behind her. He rested his hands on the slim curve of her waist and heard her slight intake of breath. He applied a slight pressure getting her to turn her body twenty degrees to the left. He gently and briefly touched the side of her hips, she corrected herself bringing her feet closer together, a hand on her left shoulder reminded her to drop it slightly. He spread his arm along hers holding it at the wrist, the movement brought their bodies close together, her back pressing into his chest. He could feel the rapidness of her breaths against him. He moved her arm, aiming for her.

" Fire." He whispered into her ear.

The phaser burst hit the target directly in the chest. Nyota turned to him, her eyes were full of an expression he couldn't quite name. She took a step forwards, molding herself to him. He closed his eyes for a moment taking in the feeling of having her so close, the strange softness of her lean body. He felt his own physical reactions to her, then her hand was running up between their bodies, along his chest to rest on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see her amber eyes staring into his own, her lips parted slightly. He sensed her altering the weight on her feet, pushing up with her toes, to bridge that few inches between their lips. Spock felt a moment of panic he thought of rules, age gaps and points from which one could not return. He turned his head away from her. He felt her shoulders slump , a moment of hesitation and then she moved away from him. When he could face looking at her again she was stood a few feet away, she was blushing looking at the floor, her arms crossed defensively against her body. His refusal had hurt her and he realized he had made a mistake, he had let himself act out of fear.

" Nyota."

She shook her head, not looking up at him. He walked to her, laid his hand gently on her face trying to get her to look at him. She wouldn't, through their link he could feel the depth of her hurt and disappointment, the uncertainty his refusal had created.

" Know that I desire you." He said gently.

Her eyes closed for a moment and then she turned and walked away from him. He did not follow her.

* * *

April 6th

Spock was packing away his PADD and other equipment after his lecture. He could hear a cadet approach and assumed it was to ask a question about the assignment he had given, there was always one who failed to understand what was asked of them. He looked up to see that this time it was Cadet Galia who was stood patiently a few feet away from him.

" You have a question Cadet?"

" I've got a favor to ask."

" I am intrigued."

" I was wondering if you could send Nyota, Cadet Uhura a copy of the lecture notes." Spock had noticed she wasn't in class.

" May I ask why the Cadet was not in class today? Previous to this she has only missed one of my lectures so I believe I may say that it is quite unlike her."

Spock had feared two things the first was that she was ill, the second was that like when they had previously argued she had deliberately missed a class to avoid seeing him.

" It is, but she's not exactly being herself at the moment."

" How is she not being herself?"

" I don't know, I came back to my room on Saturday afternoon and she was in bed with a headache. Then on Sunday when she usually swims and goes to the library she just sat in eating jaffa cakes and watching films. I think she's in a funk but she won't tell me why."

" Is she attending her other lessons?"

" When I dropped in just before class she was getting ready."

" In your opinion what was her reason for missing my class?"

Galia bit her lip and looked around.

" She won't get in trouble will she?"

" No, it is a unfortunate fact that many students take days off without just cause, I could not possible penalize all of them."

" She said she could use the lie in."

" Thank you cadet, I will do as you ask."

She turned to walk away then as if having a sudden thought turned back to him.

" Just to let you know, in my rather extensive experience, funks tend to be caused by boy trouble."

He raised his eyebrow at her and she hurriedly left. Spock had to wonder if Galia was referring to him as the 'boy' who had caused the trouble, the cadet often proved to be more perceptive than she appeared.

* * *

April 11th

In their lesson he had moved Nyota onto short distance moving targets. He had not touched her again and though she had met him at their usual time she seemed quiet and withdrawn. Over lunch there conversation did not flow as naturally as it usually did, Nyota gave short answers to his inquiries, she asked him questions. He knew it was to avoid talking about herself but although she did not meet his eyes as often as she usually would he could sense her interest in his answers. He had described his home to her, the dry arid planes of Vulcan that stretched out beyond the walls of his home. He talked about his school and how different it was from Earth ones, how little interaction the children of Vulcan had with the teachers, how they were expected to control their emotions from as young as two. The lack of physical contact between parent and child, how even when his Human mother had tried to cuddle him he had felt it improper and had awkwardly turned away from her. Nyota had stared at him for a moment when he had mentioned this, and he knew that she was thinking of how he had turned away from the growing physical contact between them. He wished he could tell her how he regretted that moment and the distance it had created between them but he was not used to expressing such emotions. Instead he continued to answer her questions on Vulcan teaching methods.

* * *

April 12th

In his dream Nyota faced him, she rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned up to timidly brush her lips against his. He pressed his hand against the small of her back wishing to have her closer and the kiss deepened. The bond between them seemed to shimmer and shine in his mind and that small point of light grew ten fold filling him with a warmth and wonder so strong he felt his heart was expanding to breaking point. But then he remembered, he had refused her and that little light in the back of his mind was growing dimmer everyday.

* * *

April 21st

Spock taken his lunch break half an hour later than usual as the assignments from his federation language module had six percent more mistakes on average than usual and he had stayed in his office to mark them. He had sat down with a bowl of rice and steamed vegetables. As he ate he thought about the upcoming summer break, he had taken a five week assignment on board a nearby science vessel, they believed they had found remains of a Vulcan ship from the time of enlightenment when those Vulcans not willing to accept logic had left the planet and eventually formed the Romulan empire. If it was a in actual fact a vessel from this time it could add an interesting footnote to Vulcan history, and give insight on where those Vulcans who hadn't evolved into Romulans had gone. It was often assumed that they had died out or settled on a planet not yet discovered. It was likly that the expedition would take more than five weeks but Star Fleet wished one of it's members to confirm there finding before getting any Vulcan historians involved. Spock would undoubtedly hand the position over to a member of the Vulcan science academy after the five week period. It was still a fascinating way to spend his summer.

A familiar voice caught his attention and he watched as Nyota walked nearby she was speaking excitedly to Galia. Spock gave the telepathic bond between them a little nudge and watched as she turned with a puzzled expression to look around. When she spotted him she smiled. He felt his lips twitch in response, it was the first time in seventeen days that she had smiled at him.

She said something he could not hear to Galia and the two of them walked towards him.

" Commander." Nyota said happily as she reached his table.

" Cadets, you appear to be in good spirits today."

" My sister in law had her baby, a little girl."

" The arrival of a new family member is considered a joyous event in most cultures."

" Your meant to say congratulations." Nyota said her voice laced with light teasing tones.

" Congratulations."

" Thank you. She's called Akina, after my mother."

" Which means family bond in Swahili, isn't that cool?" Galia said.

" I have often found it interesting how Human names have meanings. The words Vulcan's use for names are reserved for that purpose."

" Do you want to see a photo?" Nyota asked reaching for her bag.

" I have never found much interest in the appearances of infants."

Nyota paused, her eyes met his for a moment.

" Okay." She said her voice lower.

" Spoilsport." Galia said.

" Cadet, if you wish to show me a photo of your niece I will look, I am just unaware of the appropriate way to respond in such situations."

" You say oh, she's cute." Galia said seemingly almost as excited as Nyota. He had often seen this phenomenon of shared excitement over infant Humans or animals but he had never fully understood it. Nyota reached for her bag again , this time she drew out her PADD, tapped it a few times and handed it to him. He did not see anything particularly attractive about the infant, its face was winkled, eyes closed and it was swaddled in yellow blankets.

" She is cute." Spock said as he had been instructed too.

The two girls stared at him and then burst out laughing. Spock was glad that it only lasted 4.5 seconds as in contrast with when Nyota laughed he found it slightly annoying when she was laughing at him.

" I fail to see what is funny."

" Sorry Commander, really. It's just, hearing an emotional statement in an unemotional voice can be funny." Nyota apologized.

" I see." Spock answered.

" We've got to go get our lunch now before the line gets too long, can we sit with you when we come back."

" I apologize, even thought your company would be appreciated I have almost finished eating and there are somethings that require my attention."

Nyota looked a little disappointed, Spock wondered if she had forgiven him for not kissing her or if she was just too happy about the birth of her niece to be angry with him today.

" Well, I'll see you later commander."

" Inevitably."

He watched as she walked away silently cursing the pile of assignments he still had to grade.

* * *

May 4th

Spock was drink tea in his office with Christopher. The captain had just gone on another recruiting drive, this time to Russia to meet the fourteen year old Chekov who had been heralded a young genius, apparently the child had been very impressed to meet a star fleet captain and was likely to sign up. His parents were also likely to sign the parental permission forms as in Chris's words they were fed up of their household appliances being taken apart. Spock had left his door open as it was the time of the day when other department members tended to come and inquire about various things.

Half way through the Captain's description of a woman who had approached him in a bar Spock became aware of a presence in the doorway. He looked up to see cadet Galia stood hesitantly in the doorway. He held his hand up to indicate to Chris to stop speaking. Seeing his gaze Chris swung around in his chair.

" Come in Cadet." Spock said to her.

She took a few timid steps into his office and Spock was struck by the fact that although he had spent more time with Galia than most cadets she was still intimidated by him.

" I'm sorry to disturb you commander." She nodded towards Chris. "Captain."

" What is it you require cadet?" Spock asked.

" I'm not sure that I should be asking a commanding officer this."

" Go ahead." Chris cut in as Spock was about to reply that perhaps she look in the star Fleet regulations to see if there were any rules concerning her point of inquiry.

" It's Nyota's birthday in two weeks."

" Her eighteenth?" Chris asked.

" Yes. And I know she thinks of you as a friend commander and I wondered if you would come out celebrating with us. She's kinda known as a bit cold and aloof so she doesn't really have many people who would consider her a friend."

" Of course he'll come, so will I if I'm invited." Chris answered for him. Galia hesitated for a moment.

" Yeah of course."

" I look forward to it, cadet?"

" Galia Sir. Thank you sir." Galia was smiling as she left Spock's office.

Chris turned back to face Spock.

" You have to go to her eighteenth Spock, it's like a coming of age."

" I am aware of that and I would recognize that coming of age in some form. I am just not aware of what the celebration requires."

" Usually getting blind drunk and doing a lot of thing's you'll regret in the morning."

" That does not seem wise."

" It's tradition."

" I am starting to believe that tradition is merely the word Humans use to make certain illogical actions excusable."

" It took you nearly six years to figure that one out?"

* * *

May 9th

Spock looked around the department store, it was one of the most well known in San Francisco. He found a layout of the store, eight stories, he noticed that one of the floors had gifts listed under the products available. He took the lift up to the sixth floor. He walked around, he didn't know what was an appropriate gift but he wanted something special . He didn't know where to start, the only gifts he had ever brought were for Mother and he did not think what would be appropriate for one would not be appropriate for the other.

As he wondered around a woman approach him, he turned to her, took in the black suit and name tag she was wearing.

" Hello Sir, do you need any help?"

Spock considered the question for a moment, he had been wondering around the store for twenty minutes and as of yet had not seen anything remotely suited to Nyota.

" Yes. Thank you."

" Are you looking for something in particular?"

" I am looking for a gift."

" Is it for a special occasion, or perhaps a special person?" She asked giving him a secretive smile.

" Yes, it is for the eighteenth birthday of a friend."

" Male or female?"

" Female."

" If you tell me a little bit about her I can help you find a more suitable gift."

" What do you wish to know?"

" What doe's she like? Does she have hobbies? What does she look lie? That sort of thing."

" She is a star fleet cadet with an advance knowledge of linguistics. He hobbies are reading, track and swimming. She finds pleasure in firing phasers."

The assistant looked rather puzzled.

" Okay, so she's clever and she's sporty. We do have a book shop.."

" I do not wish to give her a book. I wish for something that she would consider to be special."

" Does she wear perfume?"

" I do not believe so, she often smells of raspberry's."

" Does she wear jewelry, necklaces, earrings, bracelets. We have a very well known jeweler in store."

" She wears earrings, some kind of little flower I believe."

" Okay, do you want to see our earrings then?"

" Yes, that would be appropriate."

He followed the short well dressed woman to the lift where she pressed the button for fifth floor, she made small talk as they went down and then walked through the store towards the jewelry section. Like most Humans he met her first questions were about Vulcan, he answered her questions with disinterest and felt a small relief when she introduced him to a man at the jewelry counter who would help him pick out a pair of earrings.

The man asked a few questions about what he was looking for. Spock's answers were simple, he did not know what he was looking for but he would know if he found something assistant seemed rather disgruntled by his answers and left Spock to look in the meter long glass covered counter. Nothing seemed to immediately stand out to him, there were simple jewels , diamonds, emeralds, rubies. Then there were little gold studs shaped like flowers or animals. Dangling strings of multiple jewels, hoops of various sizes and metals.

Feeling a slight frustration Spock started considering looking in a different shop. As he looked up to tell the assistant that nothing was suitable Spock noticed a small display inset into the wall behind the counter. It was a foot squared and covered in some material that looked thicker than glass, Spock surmised it was some kind of reinforced blast resistant polymer. Next to it there was a key pad, the jewels it contained were well protected, and therefore likly to be precious. But it was not this that made Spock notice the cabinet, he had seen something flash green inside.

" Excuse me." He said getting the assistants attention.

" What is in that case?"

" Those are our unique designs."

" Unique meaning that there are only one of each or unique as in they are only available in this store?" Spock asked.

" They are one of a kinds. Would you like to see a few?"

" Yes."

" Just the earrings?"

" Yes."

The assistant turned, he hid the keypad with his body as he typed in the code. When he turned around he placed three pairs of earrings on the counter. Spock reached for the middle ones, dangling elongated oblongs made out of some sort of reflective material, perhaps shell. He lifted one up so that it caught the light and it shined with shades of blue and green.

" What are these made off?" He asked curiously.

" Those are made out of a very rare material imported from Vulcan." The assistant answered with a note of pride in his voice. " It is the fossilized wings of an extinct flying animal."

" A sundweller." Spock answered.

The animal, little reminiscent of an Earth dragonfly but three meters long had become extinct over eight thousand years ago. He had only ever seen picture of them, though he knew the fossilized wing fragments sometime dug out of the desert sands were often used like jewels for ornaments. Before the sundwellers had become extinct they had been surrounded by superstition, it had been believed that seeing one meant that a dramatic change was coming in your life. Spock was pleaded to find this little piece of Vulcan on earth. He could imagine Nyota wearing them, the little reflective shimmers off setting the twinkling of her eyes.

" I'll take them."

* * *

Who wanted to slap Spock at the start of this chapter? The course of true love never does run smooth.


	17. What's in a name?

Chapter 17 ( already I can't believe it.)

A light and silly chapter as there has been so much drama in the last few. And I've been wanting to do a chapter where I just relentlessly torture Spock for weeks.

It was really hard to imagine Spock singing anything, in the end I went for Gordon Haskell how wonderful you are, but his voice is a little deep so still not too sure. So...

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or the song How Wonderful You Are, and am not making any profits off of them.

* * *

May 14th 19:30

" Oh it's you." Galia said as she opened the door. She leaned out and looked down the hallway.

" Get in, quick." She stepped aside and Spock entered, there was nobody else in the room.

" Where is Nyota?" He asked.

" She's not back yet. Her birthday is a surprise."

" I believe Nyota knows it is her birthday."

Spock heard the swish of a door open, he turned around to see a woman coming out of the bathroom. She was tall, almost as tall as Spock, with olive skin and short black hair. Her amber eyes were very familiar but they looked at him with suspicion and a hardness that was decisively unfamiliar.

" I prefer to see Vulcan's as experts at deadpan humor rather than irritatingly literal." She said.

" You are Nyota's sister." Spock said, he did not need confirmation, the woman in front of him shared quite a few features with Nyota though she was slightly taller slightly curvier and was no where near as aesthetically pleasing.

" Yes, Nyonda."

The door buzzed.

" In the bathroom." Galia said in a hurried whisper. Nyonda turned and walked back into the room she had just come out of.

" Pardon?" Spock asked wondering if the cadet really meant for him to go stand in the bathroom.

" Get in the bathroom, Commander." Galia said adding his title as an after thought.

" For what reason?"

" It might be Nyota and she doesn't know that I planned a night out or that her sisters here and I want everybody to jump out of the bathroom and shout surprise when she comes in like they do in the films." Galia explained quickly her voice filled with irritation.

" Why would Nyota ring the bell?"

" Oh. Right." Galia blushed a dark shade of green. She went and opened the door, Spock saw Chris standing at the entrance to the room, a large bottle of some liquid in his hands that he assumed was some form of alcoholic drink.

" Hello Galia, Spock." He nodded to him as he entered.

The wooshing of a door notified Spock that Nyonda had come back into room, Chris's eyes drifted straight to her.

" Whose this lovely young lady?"

" Captain Pike this is Nyota's sister Nyonda." Galia introduced them, Spock watched as they shook hands, Galia was leaning out of the doorway again as she had when he had entered.

" She's coming." She said, "Bathroom!"

" I fail to see..." Spock started.

" Get into the bathroom Spock that's an order." Chris interrupted him.

Spock tried to remain dignified as he entered the tiny bathroom with Nyonda, Galia, and Chris, but he doubted he managed it. The closeness of so many people in the little room led him to stand in the shower, quickly turning the automated shower head off before it started , narrowly avoiding getting his new clothes wet.

" Lights out." Spock heard Galia say before the bathroom was plunged into darkness. He could make out the four sets of breaths four heartbeats along with his own. The he could hear her footsteps entering the next room. Galia in front of him was moving around.

" Whistle or banger?" She whispered to him.

" Banger?" Spock asked matching her volume. Galia must have taken it to be his answer because she pushed what felt like a small tube with a string coming out of one end. Before Spock had a chance to ask what he was meant to do with it Galia started whispering again.

" Three, two ,one go!"

Nyonda was closest to the door, she pressed the button and the moment it had opened far enogth to get through her and the others burst out. Spock was carefully stepping out of the shower when he heard the shout of 'Surprise" followed by a series of whistles and a loud startling bang.

Spock hurried to the doorway to see if there was any danger, there was a smell of smoke and a cloud of one millimeter pieces of multicolored reflective paper falling to the floor. He looked over Chris's shoulder and saw Nyota sat on her bed, she appeared to have stopped in the process of unzipping her boots. Her face was turned towards them, Spock watched as her face turned from a startled look to a wide grin.

" Nyonda!" She jumped up off the bed and flung herself at her sister, they hugged each other closely. She pulled back looking at her sister.

" What are you doing here?"

" I wouldn't miss your birthday."

Nyota looked away from her sister with a hesitation that suggested reluctance.

" Captain Pike?"

"Happy Birthday Uhura." He handed her the bottle . "Your first drink has to be champagne."

" Thank you Captain."

"Call me Chris, for tonight at least."

" Thank you Chris."

She turned to look at Spock, they looked at each other for a moment.

" Spock, I'm glad your here." She said, and Spock felt as if she meant it.

" Happy Birthday Nyota."

Galia grabbed her arm.

" Come on, we have to get you ready."

"Ready for what?"

" Your night out."

" Night out?'

" You have to it's your birthday." She gave a small nervous smile.

" Why don't we open the champagne so the boys can have a drink while we get dolled up." Nyonda said.

Nyota turned the bottle around in her hands. Chris went to the small replicator and had replicated five champagne flutes. There was a loud bang as the cork flew out the end of the champagne bottle and bounced off the wall and under the bed. Chris hurried to catch the bubbly liquid in a glass as it poured out of the bottle. He took it off of Nyota and filled the five glasses. He lined them up on Nyota's desk and then handed them out, giving the first to Nyota. The girls all gathered around Chris. Nyota looked over at him and then moved closer to Galia making room for him next to her. She waved him over, he joined them and followed their lead as they clinked their glasses together and said 'cheers." Nyota gave a small cough and Spock felt himself reaching out to her.

" Bubbles up my nose." She explained.

Chris gave a short laugh.

" Come on, bathroom." Galia said grabbing Nyota's arm.

" I have to choose a dress."

" What do you think I got you." Nyonda replied pushing her sister towards the bathroom. " Chris, could you put some music on?" She shouted as the door behind them closed leaving Spock and Chris alone.

" I'm on it." He looked around the room.

" The music is in the wardrobe." Spock informed him, Chris turned to him and raising an eyebrow in a silent inquiry, Spock did not care to explain. Spock watched as Chris opened the wardrobe selected a card from one of the shelves and slot into the small music player built in next to the door. A strange music with a strong beat came on, their was a female voice singing in English in the background.

" They're going to be a while." Chris said, he sat on the bed, Spock felt a twinge of some emotion he could not name but he suppressed it and sat on the chair next to Nyota's desk.

" New clothes?" Chris asked, Spock assumed he was making small talk. He had indeed brought new clothes for the occasion, gray trousers and waistcoat over a white shirt, no tie, he had thought it appropriate.

' Yes, I needed a forth formal outfit, the others do not always meet the requirements of the event."

" I'm sure that's the only reason, looks sharp though."

"Sharp?"

" Just accept it as a compliment."

Spock listened to the music, it was not to his tastes but he accepted there was nothing else he could do while he waited. High pitched giggling came from the bathroom every few minutes, he found he could make out which was Nyota's though noting when he felt a slight tightness in his stomach. After fifteen minutes Galia ran out of the bathroom.

" Forgot the lip gloss." She routed around on her messy overloaded desk, picked up a small tube and rushed back into the bathroom. Exactly twenty- two minutes and thirteen seconds after Nyota had entered the bathroom she stepped back out again.

She was wearing a red sequined dress that stopped a few inches short of her knees, the color was slightly darker than that of her uniform but it dipped down in a dauntingly low V- neck. Spock starred at her. Galia and Nyonda followed her out.

" It's a bit.." Nyota said looking down. Spock never did find out what adjective she was going to use.

" It looks fabulous." Galia said.

Nyota looked up at Spock.

" Do I look like me?" She asked timidly.

Spock considered the question, he did not wish to tell Nyota that although he found trouble keeping his eyes off that low dip where the material showed part of the curve of her breast he did not think she looked entirely comfortable in it and it did not look similar to anything else he had seen her wearing before . Instead he avoided a direct answer.

" The color is becoming on you."

" It's almost the same as my uniform."

" Indeed, though your uniform is not reflective."

" Something's missing." Nyonda said scrutinizing her sister. " Jewelery." She said and headed for her sisters draws.

Feeling a slight apprehension Spock stood up and reached into his pocket he took out the small black velvet box and held it out to Nyota. Her eyes met his with a flash of curiosity as she carefully took it from him avoiding touching his hand. He watched her face closely as she opened the box, her eyes widened, her fingers reached up to brush along the earrings and then she smiled widely. She looked up at him, her expression more open than he had seen it in weeks.

" I hope that they are appropriate." He said.

" They're beautiful." Her voice was laced with happiness.

He nodded, if they were alone he would have said he was glad.  
He sensed that others were watching their exchange but he did not look away from her as her hands reached up to put the earrings in, the pearl white contrasting perfectly against her black hair. It filled him with an unexpected pleasure to see him wearing his gift. His view of her was suddenly obscure as Galia stepped in front of him, leaning in close to Nyota to see the earrings.

" They go perfectly."

" We'd better get going." Nyonda said loudly, Spock did not know why but there seemed to be a note of disapproval in her voice.

* * *

21:13

The meal had been adequate, the restaurant quiet enough for conversation. Though he had tried to engage Nyonda in a conversation about her work he had found her answers to be lacking in information her actions and demeanor were starting to indicate that she did not appreciate his presence. He did not see her reasoning as he had acted polity to her but Humans are essentially illogical. He was content to drift in and out of conversation based around the food provided and the weather with Nyota and Christopher and listen to Nyota and her sister talk excited about home their niece and plans to go on holiday together during the summer.

He had carefully watched Nyota, she had giggled twelve times during there meal. Previous to that night he had only heard her giggle twice, she tended to laugh deeply rather than giggle. He thought the causes of this new behavior probably lied in the fact that she had consumed three glasses of alcohol. He had often heard said that when Humans were first introduced to alcoholic liquids they were affected by it quickly. Though he believed the food that she was eating would counteract some of the effects.

When the everybody had finished their deserts a waiter had brought over a bottle of wine and decanted it into glasses for them all. Nyonda stood up, she winked at her sister and then started to talk.

" Eighteen years and one week ago."

" I thought your birthday was today, did I get it wrong?" Galia interrupted turning to Nyota.

" No."

" Eighteen years and one week ago My great grandmother Tahira died."

Spock thought it was a strange thing to talk about a death on the celebration of a birth.

"Grand Nana had served on the Enterprises maiden voyage under captain Archer. Before she died my mother went to her and told her she would be naming the child she was carrying Tahira, after her. Grand Nana said no, call her Star because she'll wish to travel amongst them. She predicted that she would become a captain and be a star freedom to many species. So here we are eighteen years on and our tiny star of freedom has grown quite brilliant."

" And radiant, wouldn't you say Spock?" Chris said. Spock hesitated.

" I would." He answered, he notice Nyota blush.

" And at eighteen years old it turns out part of Nana Tahira's prediction was true, cause my sisters following in her footsteps and has taken the first step in a career in Star Fleet and her family couldn't be more proud. So, if you would, raise your glasses and drink a toast to Nyota."

Chris, Galia and Spock raised there glasses up to Nyota, Spock had seen this tradition performed before so he knew what to do.

" To Nyota." He said.

" To Nyota." Chris said.

" The best friend a girl could have." Galia added.

* * *

10:10

The pub was crowded and noisy. Spock noticed that the vast majority of customers appeared to be cadets. There was no music but they still had to raise there voices to converse. Spock sat quietly drinking his ginger beer, Chris seemed to be absorbed in the conversation that Nyota, Galia, and Nyonda were having, it seemed to consist of Nyota listing every male Cadet she had seen Galia flirt with. Spock failed to see how her roommates promiscuity was so amusing to Chris and Nyonda, Galia kept intercepting with unnecessary comments on the men. Her comments were such that Spock started to feel the tips of his ears burning, he knew that they had blushed bright green but the others seemed not to notice which he was grateful for. Spock looked out into the crowd, it took him a moment to make out a familiar face coming towards him.

Nyota looked up as Doctor McCoy reached the table.

" Len."

The doctor stepped behind Spock he bent down next to Nyota and kissed her on the cheek. Spock felt the jealous rise up in himself, he battled to keep his face neutral.

" Happy Birthday Uhura."

" Thanks Len, sit down talk to me."

" I would darling but I'm looking for Jim. He's being particularly Jim like tonight."

" Oh come on Doc." Galia said.

" Alright then." The doctor sat down at the free chair next to Spock, he shot him a look as he sat then turned to talk Chris.

" Good evening Sir."

"Doctor." Chris nodded politely in return.

" So, Uhura as your doctor I feel I should warn you on the health risks of drinking vast quantities of alcohol. As your friend I have to say can I buy you a whiskey?"

Everybody laughed, except Spock. Nyota held he glass of light bubbling green liquid up.

" I'm okay with this at the moment thanks." She said.

" Some other time then."

" Yes." Nyota said, Spock felt his hand clench slightly at the idea that Nyota was agreeing to go out for a drink with this man.

" So your a doctor?" Nyonda said, she was sat next to him and Spock curiously noted that she leaned in closer to him as she spoke.

" Yes M.D., Lenard McCoy." He reached his hand out to her, she shook it holding on a little longer than was warranted.

" Nyonda Uhura."

At that moment the table shook violently as a cadet seemingly fell into it. Spock stood up.

" Sorry man, accident." The blond haired young man said. " Hey Len."

" Jim." The doctor looked at him with an annoyed expression whilst mopping up their split drinks with a napkin.

The new arrival seemed to notice Nyota.

" Hey." He said waving his hand dramatically in the air. " Hey gorgeous, going to tell me your name. Or are you going to make me guess again."

Nyota gave and angry stare and shook her head.

" Mildred? Bianca? Zoey?"

" Sorry Uhura." Doctor McCoy stood up and grabbed the cadet around the upper arm.

" Ow, that kind of hurts you know."

" Time to go Jim."

" I thought you had taken a Hippocratic oath or something?"

" Enjoy your birthday." The doctor said to Nyota then turned to her sister, "It was a pleasure to meet you Nyonda. Briefly." He gave the Cadet named Jim a sour look as he said the last word and then dragged him off through the crowd. Spock sat back down.

" You are acquainted with that cadet?" He ask Nyota.

" I see him around, he's a bit of an annoyance he's always hitting on me."

" I could have a word with him."

" That's unnecessary, I can handle it." Spock nodded.

"Talking about hitting on you." Nyonda said. " Mama tells me she saw Dante last week."

" Whose Dante?" Galia asked curiously.

" You've never told her about Dante?"

Nyota looked down her face flushing with embarrassment.

" Is he somebody you've got the hots for?" Galia said excitedly.

" He's the guy she lost it too." Nyonda answered as Nyota stared down at her drink. Spock was about to ask what she had lost when Galia gave a loud high pitched squeak and turned to Nyota who was now looking at her sister with a murderous gaze.

" I always thought you were a virgin!"

Spock felt as if he had been hit in the chest with a sledge hammer, he knew that most Humans were somewhat casual about there sexual relations but he had never considered that Nyota had ever been, again he found himself fighting to control his facial muscles that seemed to wish to grimace. He looked up at Nyota, her eyes met his, she was clearly frowning.

" I never said that" She said in barely a whisper.

" I just assumed, what with how uptight you are around boys." Galia explained.

" He was a simply gorgeous footballer ." Nyonda continued to say.

"Really?"

" Yep, she told me two weeks after her sixteenth birthday."

" Can we stop talking about this please." Nyota snapped.

" Why?" Glaia asked her.

" Because he was an ass and I was stupid. I was lanky bookworm with no friends and he was popular and cute. He took me out a few times told me I was beautiful and clever and then afterward never spoke to me again."

" Git." Galia said. Spock stood up, four pairs of eyes followed him.

" I am going to get more drinks." He said walking away.

As he made his way through the crowd he tried to gain control of his emotions. The fact that Nyota had given somebody permission to touch her in such a way filled him with jealous anger and at some level disappointment. He had never considered that she had been somebody elses to touch and hold, that somebody else had been permitted to kiss her. He knew that Williams had touched her but as it had not been with her consent Spock had only felt anger and not jealousy. And the way she had explained the quality of the man she had given herself too, why? He did not wish to think of her giving that part of herself away to anybody else. He did not wish to think of another mans lips kissing the flesh of her legs as he once had or another holding her body close to him as they slept at night. He did not even wish to think of her getting angry at another man or being comforted by another man. He did not wish to remember the desire that flooded through the link between them when they had touched hands knowing that it had been felt towards another. Or that when she had ran her fingers through his hair she was merely repeating an act of affection taught by another. At the center of the hurricane of emotions was one simple thought, new experiences to him were not all that new to her. In the future he maybe able to hold her and kiss her and it would be special to him as she was the only one he had ever wished to do such things with, but would it be special to her? When it would always be echoing the touch of another.  
As he stood at the bar deep in thought he felt a hand lightly tap him on the shoulder, he turned to see Nyota stood behind him.

" Are you okay?" She asked her voice full of worry but faltering slightly due to drunk state.

" I am well." Spock answered, he turned back to the bar and placed an order, remembering what the others had been drinking previously.

" I know this isn't the sort of thing you're comfortable with but thank you for coming anyway. It wouldn't be the same without you." Nyota stepped round to stand beside him. Spock didn't look at her.

" It is interesting to see how Humans celebrate coming of age."

"There is something bothering you." Nyota said in a voice that sounded so upset that Spock couldn't help looking down into her sad eyes, he reminded himself that tonight was her celebration and she was supposed to be happy.

" Yes, Nyota there is." He admitted.

" What is it?"

" I do not like the idea of another man touching you."

" Why?" He eyes flickered down to the floor and for a moment she looked quite vulnerable. Spock did not answer.

" Say it Spock."

" Because, I have a high regard for you and he does not sound like a worthy mate." Spock answered after some deliberation.

Nyota nodded her head, she seemed disappointed. "Okay." She stood for another minute, the bar keeper started to set the drinks Spock had ordered down on a tray.

" Okay." Nyota repeated speaking as if to her self, then she turned and walked away from him.

She gave a weak smile as he reached the table, he knew it was a pretense. He set the drinks down on the table gathered the empty glasses and bottles and took them back to the bar. When he again returned to the table, Chris was rubbing his arm. Galia's eyes flickered over to him.

" What's wrong with your arm?"

" Broke it a few years ago."

Spock inwardly winced, Chris had been holding this against him for two years.

" How did you break it?"

" Well actually I didn't, he did." Chris pointed at Spock, who felt his ears warm again.

" You broke his arm!" Galia said incredibly. " Why?"

" Chris!" Spock said in a warning tone, it was a private matter ti was bad enough that Chris had accidentally found out but he had a way of mentioning it every now and again when he wished Spock to do something. He had never gone into much detail but he dropped threatening hints as if it were a joke to him. During his first Pon Farr Chris had overheard a nurse saying that she was going to take him Plomeet soup and had rushed to his apartment to intercede. Chris had seen a few emotional outbursts from Spock during the week and had some inclining that something was wrong with him. . Later, after Spock had recovered somewhat Chris had explained that he had rushed to his apartment expecting Spock to be 'seeing red' which apparently meant in an unstable and violent state. He had not been expecting to walk in to find Spock pinning the young nurse to the wall in a rush to diverge her of her clothing. Nor had he expected hie efforts to protect his young friend to be rewarded with him being thrown half way across a room and then later slapped by the extremely annoyed nurse. Spock had thanked him sometime later, the nurse would not have been a suitable bond mate, but for some illogical reason even though Chris's arm had healed well and only 'gave him twinges' occasionally Chris had never seemed to forgiven him.

" He's vicious." Spock heard Nyonda whisper to her sister, whatever her opinions on Vulcan's were she was not aware their hearing was twice as sensitive as that of Humans.

" He was undergoing a...hormonal imbalance. He had warned me that he was not himself." Chris said, Spock nodded, it was a more acceptable answer than he had expected,. But still, the evening seemed to be going down hill, as the Humans would say.

* * *

11:30

Spock was quickly learning what karaoke bar meant, he had heard the phrase before but had never actually been to such a place, and he doubted he would ever again. He sat listening to Nyota Galia and Nyonda singing at the front of the bar, Nyota was mostly in tune but that was more than could be said for the other two, for some reason they were all over emphasizing the emotional content of the song. Chris came back from the bar with two drinks and sat down next to Spock. He placed one of the drinks in front of Spock, Spock sniffed it cautiously, he had not asked for anything. There was an underlying smell of chocolate, he raised his eyebrow questioningly at Chris.

" You're going to be thankful for that in a minute."

" I do not see your reasoning."

" Those girls are going to make you sing."

" I do not wish to sing. "

" Tough."

" I believe that to sing here on this occasion would be undignified."

The girls had finished singing whilst he and Chris spoke and they came to rejoin the table, Nyota sat next to him. Nyonda sat across from him and shot him a somewhat wicked smile.

" Your turn Mr Spock." She said.

" I do not wish to."

" Ah go on." Glaia whined, Chris gave a small chuckle and gave Spock an I told you so look.

" I will not be persuaded."

" What if I ask nicely?" Nyota said turning to him, her face inches from his.

" I will not be persuaded Nyota."

" Spokh, I enjoy your voice and I know you've sung in public before. Will you not do so again, this one time? _Just for me, on my birthday." _She finished in his home tongue and looked at him her face tilted down, eyes pointing up and a slight pouting of the lips. He had heard this expression called 'puppy dog eyes' before a phrase that's significance was lost in antiquity but he'd never felt there effects till now.

" I will not sing anything that lacks dignity." He said taking two sips of the dark brown liquid.

" I'll go get the song books." Nyota said jumping up.

" What happened to I will not be persuaded?" Chris asked.

" I found her argument very persuasive."

He took another sip, he did not like the taste it was too sweet. Chris was having a lot more success talking to Nyonda about her work than he had previously that night. Nyota came up behind him and placed a PADD in front of him, on the screen written in large letters were the words pre- twenty-third century music, under t were a list of song titles. Spock lightly tapped the screen and looked through the lyrics of a few of the songs. Most he had not heard before. He took another two sips of the liquid, then decided that he would leave it, he did not wish to become inebriated.

" Found one yet?" Nyonda asked him.

" No, I am having trouble seeing the logic in these lyrics."

"What's the matter with them?"

" I do not understand why this person wants to go to mars in the spring when mars is at it's most unstable during the spring, that's when the largest percentage of avalanches happen on the planet. And why does this one say he is blue when Andorians were not in contact with Earth at the time and so he could not possibly be blue."

he could not understand why the other occupants of the table were looking at him with wide grins.

" How about burning down the house?" Galia asked.

" I do not wish to sing a song about pyromaniacs."

" Murder on the dance floor." Galia asked again innocently. Nyota laughed into her drink.

" How is that humorous? I find the fact that twentieth century Earth was so violent that murders were committed in public places and then recorded in song to be quite disturbing." Spock was beginning to feel slightly dizzy and slightly less in control of his emotions, the chocolate drink was starting to have some effect.

"Oh, oh, this one." Galia said pointing to the screen of the PADD.

"My sex is on fire?" This time it was Chris who snorted into his drink and gave a short chuckle.

" Yes."

"No."

" Why not?"

"You require a reason for my refusal?"

" Yeah, it's funny."

" I am glad I amuse you."

Spock silently looked at a few more songs before he landed on one that he believed he had heard at some point and that's lyrics were understandable to him, he and Chris frequently went to a place called Harry's bar. He typed his name next to it and it was automatically added to the list, he would be singing after two more people. He returned the PADD to the bar and ordered himself a ginger beer then sat and listened to the girls giggling about catching somebody skinny dipping when they were on a survival weekend. When it was his turn he went to stand on the small raised stage, he assessed the crowd of people in front of him he recognized three of his students but as it was drawing near to midnight the atmosphere of the bar suggested that a lot of alcohol had been consumed by most, there was a 43.6 percent chance that other than Chris, Galia and Nyota nobody from the academy would remember him singing tonight, he found it slightly reassuring. The lighting up on the stage changed from a brilliant white to a dark blue, increasing the chances he wouldn't be recognized by another seven percent. The words appeared on a screen in front of him and the slow background music started up. He stepped forwards, steadied the microphone with one hand and began to sing his voice dropping lower than usual as the song required.

I go out most nights

Attracted by the lights

Listen to the jazz in Harry's Bar

And I know it won't be long

Before they play that song

Do you know how wonderful you are

It's a sentimental sound

Make me wanna fool around

With somebody who is wishing on a star

I'll pull my hat down low

Go up and say hello

Do you know how wonderful you are

Oh we struggle with the art of conversation

And there'll be those for whom this song has no appeal

But I know it works for me

And I'm sure you will agree

That it illustrates exactly how I feel

Things can happen fast

Some things are built to last

I've seen it all go down in Harry's Bar

Though we've only just begun

This sure will run and run

Do you know how wonderful you are

There was a long pause in the lyrics while a saxophone played over the speakers, Spock had been watching Nyota, he had been wondering if now that she had persuaded him into singing she actually appreciated it. Over on the table where he had been sitting Nyota had turned her chair around to face him, she sat watching him intently her eyes never leaving him. She gave him a small smile when she realized he was looking at her. Chris seemed to be nodding along to the music whereas Galia was looking rather bored. Nyonda was missing but as he scanned the bar again quickly he saw her working her way through the crowd towards the stage. The saxophone solo came to an end and he had no time to ponder why she was approaching him.

I've always struggled with the art of conversation

And there'll be those for whom this song has no appeal

But I know it works for me

And I'm sure you will agree

That it illustrates exactly how I feel

Things can happen fast

Some things are built to last

I've seen it all go down in Harry's Bar

Though we've only just begun

This sure will run and run

Do you know how wonderful you are

Do you know how wonderful you are

Do you know how wonderful you are

As the song finished and the lights switched back to their dazzling white, Spock quietly stepped off the stage. There were a few claps and cheers, one of which he knew came from Chris. He began to walk back to the table where they had been sitting but felt a hand grab his upper arm. He turned to tell whoever it was to unhand him but paused when he saw Nyota's sister starring angrily at him. She spoke to him in a harsh angry whisper.

" My sister has been working hard for years to get into the academy."

" In my experience Nyota does dedicate more time than most Cadets to her studies." Her grip tightened on his arm.

" I know my parents think you're some kind of hero for saving her from that Williams guys but I know you're just as bad as he is."

Spock felt a sudden tide of anger, so unexpected he lost control for a moment.

" I am not! How dare you insinuate.."

" I know what your after, and my sister has worked to hard to throw everything away on a devil eared freak."

Spock pulled his arm sharply away from her, he stared down into those hate filled amber eyes. He did not think any reply would change the notions that Nyonda had about him. He took a deep breath and spoke calmly.

" I suggest that you allow yourself a moment to calm down before you come and join us, I will not allow you to argue with me in front of Nyota, it will spoil her evening."

He pushed his way through the crowd leaving her standing starring after him.

* * *

12:32

Spock had a headache, the loud beating of the dance music in the club hurt his sensitive ears and the multicolored flashing lights stung his eyes. He regretted those few sips of chocolaty liquid he knew he would not be this uncomfortable if he had not consumed them. He sat alone in a small booth where he could look out onto the dance floor and keep an eye on his drunken friends, Nyota was dancing enthusiastically with Galia, Chris who had been dancing with a student was now heading back to the table with a new bottle of beer in his hand. Nyonda who, thankfully, had been ignoring him since their confrontation was not in sight but he had seen Doctor McCoy over by the bar earlier and he assumed they had found somewhere to continue their conversation.

Chris sat down across from him and giving him a quick nod turned to watch the gyrating bodies on the dance floor. Spock watched as a young man approached Galia and Nyota. The man placed his hand on Galia's shoulder she turned to him and shook her head but a moment later Nyota had leaned in and whispered in her ear and Galia had turned to dance with him as Nyota walked, unsteadily to the booth.

She sat on the soft couch next to Spock, she was so close her lags brushed up against his. She leaned in close to him and tried to whisper in his ear. Even his sensitive hearing could not make out what she was saying over the loud music, he turned to her shaking his head to indicate he had not heard and she started to talk in an ordinary volume, Chris leaned over the table to hear what was being said.

" I want to bite your ears."

" I would prefer it if you didn't.

" They look tasty."

" The flesh of my species is not edible to Humans due to the high copper levels."

Spock meet Chris eyes, they were shining with withheld laughter. He raised the bottle to his mouth to hide his smile.

" You're fit, you know that Spock?" Nyota continued.

" Vulcan's are roughly three times as strong as Humans and have better endurance."

Nyota gave a high pitched laugh, Spock noted that it didn;t have any effect on him.

" No, you're hot!"

" Yes, in comparison to Humans I am, my body temperature is..."

" No, I mean you're good looking."

Chris was pointedly looking away now and Nyota had somehow managed to lean in another two inches closer to him. Spock felt more uncomfortable than he had during the whole evening.

" Thank you."

"You remember when I said your butt wasn't nice?"

" I remember word to that affect."

" Well I lied."

Nyota looked down at the empty glass before her, she had been drinking from it before she had gone dancing.

" Where did my drink go?"

" You drunk it."

" No I didn't."

Spock turned to Chris.

" Is she inebriated enough to fill the requirements of this ceremony."

" Yeah, I'd say so."

" Perhaps we should find the others and leave then."

" Dance with me." Nyota said.

" No." Spock answered.

" I won't leave until you dance with me." Nyota said poking him in the chest.

" You are drunk, you are acting in a highly illogical manner."

" I'll make it logical for you, the only way to get me to leave is to dance with me."

Spock looked over at Chris, he shrugged. Spock took a deep breath to stop himself from sighing. He stood up, Nyota smiling widely slid out of the booth. She grabbed his hand as he stood up and tried to pull him towards the dance floor but the moment his skin came in contact with hers he felt an overwhelming moment of vertigo, his head felt as if it were filled with some kind of liquid, there was a pressure and fuzziness. the lights flashing in front of his eyes confused him he took a step backwards and stumbled, all within a second he felt something hard come in contact with the back of his leg as he fell backwards, his head hit the floor with a loud bang and a blinding pain and something heavy landed on top of him.

is head cleared and he took a moment to work out what had happened. Through his skin to skin contact with Nyota he had experienced for the first time what it was for a human to be drunk and in his confusion he had tripped and fallen backward. Nyota was laying on top of him he looked up into her puzzled eyes, hi body seemed to have protected her from any injury. He shifted his weight slightly so she was not resting so uncomfortably against his hip. Then he raised his hand to the back of his head to check for blood. He didn't feel any abrasions, he looked left to see if there was any blood on his fingers just to make sure. Two pairs of shoes came into his view. One were polished black loafers the other were green high heels with open toes revealing olive skin and gold painted toenails. He looked up to see Doctor McCoy and Nyonda staring down at him.

" It's time to leave." He said

" Okay." Nyota groaned against his chest.

* * *

01:07

Thankfully McCoy had escorted Nyonda back to the hotel she was staying at, Spock was having trouble controlling his emotions as she had shot him hateful looks. He did not know what he had done to warrant such an attitude. He would never do anything to jeopardize Nyota's career and he would never force her to do anything she did not wish to do.

He walked Nyota through the academy grounds back to her apartment. He had to wrap his arm around her waist to steady her and keep her from falling. Chris was walking in the same fashion with Galia a few feet ahead of them. Nyota was being relatively quiet, she gave the odd moan and and had complained once that the ground was moving too much. As the drew closer to the apartments Nyota started to struggle against him.

" No." She said, she pushed against his side and stumbled a few steps away from him. Chris and Galia turned to look.

" Everything Okay?" Chris asked.

Spock nodded he approached Nyota gently taking her arm careful to block anything from coming through their bond.

" Nyota, come with me. I'll take you back to your apartment so you can sleep."

" Not here." She said pointing to the path in front of them,.

" But that is the way to your apartment." Spock explained.

" Not that way." Nyota mumbled as he wrapped his arm back around her waist.

Spock realized that the path they were taking was about to lead them through the freedom gardens. They held bad connotations for Nyota and that was why she did not wish to go that way.

" I'm going to take her the other way." Spock shouted to Chris.

" Do you want us to come?"

" No, get Galia home safely. We will join you in approximately seven minutes."

He guided Nyota around walking back up the way they had come to find the other path that led to the student apartments.

" Stop." Nyota said. Spock stopped and looked down at her, he felt concern.

" I want to sit for a moment, just a moment."

" Just for two minutes." Spock agreed. They sat down on the grassy patch next to the path, it was wet with early morning dew. Nyota flung herself back onto the grass lying and looking up at the sky. Spock was hit with how natural and free the movement seemed, he did not think any Vulcan had ever laid on the grass. Previous to a few seconds ago he would have said it was undignified but looking at the small smile that graced Nyota's lips he realized there was a certain beauty to such unrestrained actions.

" The stars are pretty." She said, her voice holding a dreamy quality.

Spock looked up, he did not say anything, he had never been able to see the Humans fascination with the burning gas forms, he could appreciate how at the right distances they gave the heat that allowed planets to sustain life but he could never see how they were aesthetically pleasing. He did not speak.

" Spock, do Vulcan's love?"

" I do not know, I have never known." He paused for a moment, he thought of his father, his teachers and the few companions he had known as a child. And of T'pring, and that coldness that he had felt through their weak bond. He remembered his mothers warm smile. He thought of the bright warm growing bond between him and Nyota.

" That is an ability I could have fully inherited from my mother." He concluded.

Nyota sat up again, she placed her palms firmly on the grass to steady herself but she still swayed slightly.

" Will you kiss me Spock?"

Spock felt his heartbeat increase, she was giving him another chance. But she was drunk. Very drunk, he had felt her mind so he knew just how drunk. She could not make a rational decision. Spock allowed himself to sigh.

" Yes Nyota, I would like that very much. But you must ask me when you are sober."

She looked down in disappointment but she nodded.

" Okay. I will ask you Spock."

" I await with anticipation my Nyota."

" I like being called yours."

Their eyes met and Spock felt his lips twitch up in a smile, he did not try to stop them, he wished to smile. Perhaps she did consider him special in some way. Nyota smiled in return and then looked down with a little frown.

" I think I'm going to be sick."

Spock sighed again.

" Get up, I shall escort you to your apartment."


	18. Four days

It's a short one but I felt it should stand alone.

7th June

The final exams of the year had finished, the lectures had ended the day after Nyota's birthday and the last two weeks had been private study time. After a tense few weeks the cadets had spent the last night partying till dawn. Spock knew this because his rest had been disturbed by loud music and fireworks. Term did not actually finish till the end of the week but it was a time set aside for celebrations functions and tying up loose ends.

He had seen Cadet Uhura four times since her birthday. Each time he had felt a slight nervous apprehension. When she had come to his lecture the morning after looking tired and wincing at the bright lights she had given him a slight smile. He had found it difficult to concentrate during the lecture and his pace had been off so he had finished early for the first time ever. He had felt slight disappointment when he saw her walk out of the doors after he had finished talking but it was no the safest place within the academy to hold a private conversation.

On the Saturday in their usual phaser practice they had moved to long distant moving targets, Nyota only hit them twelve percent of the time but Spock did not touch her. After they sat at lunch and talked, Nyota talked about how much fun she had at her birthday and blushing apologized for any embarrassment she had caused in her drunken state. She had admitted that she could not remember some of the night and that she did not wish to experience 'the morning after' again. Spock felt disappointed at the idea that she did not remember the conversation they had when they stopped to look at the stars on the way to her apartment.

On the Wednesday Nyota had come to him for her final one to one Ontarian lesson. He had told her that she had made much improvement within the year and was now proficient enough in the language to cope with any contact she may have with the species. He asked if she would be taking any other none regulation languages the next year. She had confirmed that she would but was not entirely sure which yet, she had asked if he would be free to give her one- to - one lessons in the next year and he had confirmed he could find a slot in his timetable that suited her. She smiled at him as she left the office.

A week later in the advanced Vulcan written exam Nyota had kept looking up at him. After the cadets time was up she approached him and asked for a private word. His heart had increased it's tempo but he had nodded and led her into his office. She had sat down at his desk and looking down explained to him in an ashamed voice that she was aware that her sister had insulted him. As Nyonda had left after her two week visit she had pulled her younger sister aside and warned her to be careful around him. She had made bigoted remarks about Spock and Vulcans in general. Nyota had been truly shocked at her sisters attitude. She had said that her sister had always been shy around none Humans but Nyota had always assumed it was because she was afraid of embarrassing herself. She had told her sister that she didn't wish to speak to her again.

Nyota's eyes had filled with tears. He had placed his hand on her shoulder and told her not to break family ties over him. He explained that although Humans had been in contact with off worlders for over two hundred years their were still many who were xenophobic. He had experienced it many times and he felt as if her sister had merely been demonstrating a protective nature in trying to keep a perceived threat away from her sister. He had refused to accept Nyota's apology to him, she had nothing to apologize about, one could not choose ones relatives or influence their deep seated beliefs. Nyota had left to calm herself before her next exam but he sensed she had wanted to say a lot more about the issue.

Spock was required to go to the end of year ball in four days time. It was the only function of the year where he was required to wear his dress uniform. The night was formal and rigid and tended to have a schedule of planned dances, speeches and events planned around a new planet to join the federation or a newly discovered friendly species. Spock found it acceptable.

Spock was filling out forms requesting certain equipment to be provided on his science trip and an E-mail to the captain of the science ship asking that she ensure the guest quarters had extra sound proofing, a simple matter that only required a reprogramming of the computer. The doorbell rang, he had not been expecting anybody, he approached the door and pressed the com button.

" Identification please."

" Cadet Uhura."

He opened the door, Nyota was stood in front of him. She looked particularly becoming with her hair down in soft curls around her face, light make up and a short form fitting though not overtly sexy gray dress.

" Come in Nyota."

She stepped into the room the door sliding closed behind her. He stared down at her waitting for her to explain her reason for coming, she didn't speak.

" May I ask your reason for coming here?"

It was another minute and two seconds before she spoke.

"It's four day till the end of the academic year."

" Indeed." Spock did not add that he was well aware of the fact.

" Forty five weeks and three days since I arrived here."

" Yes."

" One year two months and sixteen days since I first met you."

" I believe you are correct." Spock answered curious as to what the point Nyota was trying to make was.

" I've one more for you." She said, she took a deep breath and he could sense her nervousness. " One hundred and ninety five days, or rather six months and thirteen days."

" I do not know what the particular number pertains to."

Nyota looked down, avoiding his eyes.

" It's how long it's been since thanks giving, since I first realized I wanted to be with you."

Spock did not speak, he did not know what to say, that was the exact day he had realized his feelings for Nyota.

" There were times before that.."

Nyota looked up, her Amber eyes held unshed tears, she trembled slightly as she took several steps closer to him.

" Four days Spock. I don't want to spend them without you."

Spock still did not speak, he could sense her determination falter slightly. He stepped close enough to touch her then he reached his hand out to her two fingers outstretched. She gave a small relieved smile and touched her fingertips to her, he felt a mixture of emotions, apprehension stood out above all others. He sent soothing feelings to her.

" On my Birthday I asked you to kiss me and you said you would If I asked you when sober."

" Yes." Spock felt his heartbeat increase a whole 23 percent, his mouth felt strangely dry although he had consumed plenty of fluids throughout the day. He swallowed.

Nyota stepped forwards, she pressed her against his as she had once before. He could feel her pushing calming feelings towards him. She must have felt his anxiety as he did feel some, but mainly he was filled with a delicious kind of anticipation such as he had never felt before.

" I'm asking Spock." She said her voice sounding breathless.

He bent his head towards her watching as she closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly in response. He brushed his lips gently against hers, as smooth and soft and plump as he had always imagined. He closed his eyes and kissed her with the slightest unobtrusive pressure, twice, three , four times, he felt as if he could not stop. And Nyota was moving against him pressing herself more firmly against his body. They both seemed to be pushing the kisses further, becoming more feverish and reckless.

Her lips broke from his as she took a deep rugged breath her forehead resting lightly against his. Their emotions seemed as one, a swirling passionate mess of happy desire and growing love.

Spock stroked his hand up her arm, he lightly touched her chin. Her lips met his again hard quick breathless kisses. He bent his head burying it against the smooth warmth of her neck. The silken hair tickling him, he brushed it aside, the fossil earrings knocked against his nose. He kissed down to the base of her neck nipping lightly on her shoulder before returning for another intense and long kiss. Her hands ran up his arms, along his shoulders and then came to rest at the nape of his neck where her fingers ran up and down the short hairs there. He felt the now familiar swelling in his pelvic region. Nyota gave a deep throaty groan after another tantalizingly long minute she was pulling away from him, hr hands sliding down to his chest to push him away slightly.

" Is there something wrong?" Spock asked, his own voice sounding strange to hi. She rested her head against his chest, she spoke in a murmur.

" I want more Spokh, so much more. But it frightens me."

" I understand Nyota, these... emotions, I have not experienced them before. I do not believe we could have more at this moment. If we are to do this, if we are to have a relationship that is intimate and romantic in nature then we must remain above suspicion."

She looked up at him.

" I want this."

" As do I."

" We shall remain above suspicion then."

' Indeed."

He placed a small soft kiss to her lips one last time. He wrapped his arms around her waist holding her close to him for four minutes twelve seconds. Then reluctantly pulled away, they could not stay wrapped around each other all night, even if he wanted too. They had four days left before they would be separated for six weeks, four days to ask all the questions that he wished to ask her. To take her to all the places he wished to show her and to let her know how much he wanted her.

" My Nyota."

She looked up at him.

" What shall we do tonight?"

She laughed.

" What?"

" We have four days, I wish to use them wisely."

She nodded.

"Okay. Well, can;t we just cuddle up on the sofa?"

" Indeed." It seemed to him a more than acceptable way to spend the evening.


	19. Warm and cuddly

Sorry guys just moved back to uni and laptop now definitely bust. I thought as it's going to be so long before I can actually write another chapter I'd cut this one in half and post what I've written, it was that or leave it anther week with out updating.

* * *

June 8th.  
They had taken a public land transport to the outskirts of the city and hiked all day. Spock had chosen the path and [ace carefully so that she would not tire and they would pass many species of flora. They had stopped to picnic by a brook and Nyota had laid on her back and described how she had watched the clouds form in the rainy season and when they finally broke would run out to feel the cooling drops hit her face as it quenched the thirsty land.  
Spock in turn had explained how on Vulcan the rain only came twice a year. As a small child it had fascinated him until he had started attending school and science had taken all the mystery away.

" Why do you love science so much if it takes away all the mysteries in life?" She had asked him.

Spock had raised his eyebrow at the highly emotional word.

" The universe holds many undiscovered fascinations." He had explained simply. " Just because I am able to examine their properties does not make them any less of a fascination to me."

" But the rain, as a child."

" It is a simple process it does not actually hold any fascination it was my ignorance that made me believe that it did."

She gave a small smile and carried on eating. When they had finished he watched as she reached down and unhooked the laces of her walking boots. She took them off along with her socks and rolled her jeans a few inches up her calves. She stretched her toes out scrunching the grass between them, then stood and proceeded to the edge of the brook. He watched intently as she first cautiously dipped her toes into the clear running water and then firmly stepped off the grassy bank submerging her feet up to the ankles.

" Nyota may I ask what purpose that action serves?"

" No purpose."

" Then why do you put yourself at risk?"

She gave him a pointed look.

" It's a little stream Spock, I'm not going to drown."

" The likelihood of you drowning is below 0.001%, however you may slip or cut your foot on a sharp stone which would allow for water born bacteria to enter your blood stream."

She starred at him for another twelve seconds and then stepped out of the water.

" You see the illogical nature of your actions." Spock said satisfied.

" No, I see my adorable boyfriend getting worried I might hurt myself."

He felt his eyebrows twitch upwards again.

" Boyfriend is an inexact term. I know you mean to use to indicate that you are in a romantic relationship with me but still I am not a boy, I am a sexually mature male and have passed the Vulcan rites of passage. And although I am happy to be considered a friend you are fully aware that I now wish for more than this."

" What would you like me to call you?"

" Commander in public." Spock answered eliciting a smile from her. " Whatever you wish in private, as long as it is dignified."

" I suppose your right, referring to a full-grown man a boy is undignified. You're not a sweetie, and darling or dear is to old fashioned. I'll have to think on it."

She walked over and knelt before him giving him quick kisses that instantly turned more passionate when she lifted his fingertips to her mouth to gently nip their pads. He wondered if she had any idea of the extent to which that small action affected him. She might have begun to have an inkling when he let a small growl escape his lips and he firmly pushed her into the grass and attacked her lips.

* * *

The sun was setting as they reached the golden gate bridge. They walked on the footpath stopping mid-way to take in the view of the sun setting across the water.

" I can't believe I have been in San Francisco for a year and I've never been up here."

" I thought you would find it aesthetically pleasing at this time of day."

" Aesthetically pleasing, why not say it's beautiful?"

" That is an emotional and inexact word. What is beautiful to one person is not so to another, it is not measurable."

" So you've never called anything beautiful?"

"I cannot recall ever having done so."

He looked over at Nyota, the setting sun glinting in her hair.

" You are beautiful Nyota."

Her smile was dazzling.

* * *

June 9th.  
They laid together side by side on his couch. Their fingers were entwined and Spock was allowing himself to be flooded by her contentment. It was a wonderful kind of peace, he was used to the empty peace that he gained through meditation and suppression of emotions. This happy peace had its merits, it was his favorite of the emotions he had felt through his link with Nyota, kind of quiet and unobtrusive. The fact that he had a favorite was proof to him that his Human side was starting to become integrated with the Vulcan. He was not comfortable showing emotions and doubted that he ever would be but he was not as ashamed of having them as he was a year ago. They were allowing him to connect with Nyota after all.  
Spokh, can you hear me. Nyota's voice sounded in his mind, it surprised him she had never communicated with him through their link before.

" Yes, do you wish to say something?"

" No, I was just exploring..." She lifted their joined hands up. " This."

Spock nodded.

" Is it safe?"

" Safe?" He raised himself up on his elbow to look down at her.

" To explore.. this."

" Bond is the word Vulcan's use. And yes it is safe."

" I won't accidentally access your thoughts or erase your memories or something."

Spock's lips twitched in amusement.

" The bond is not that strong and I could easily block you if you tried to access my mind."

He looked down into her curious eyes and knew the time had come as he knew it would.

' Perhaps it is time that I fully explain the bonding process."

" I would like to understand it better."

" You have realized that the bond is a telepathic link between the two of us. I am not sure what first implanted it but it has grown over time. It is always intensified by skin to skin contact as Vulcan's have telepathic receptors in their skin just as Humans have various sensory receptors in their skin."

" That much I've figure out already."

" Touches that to a Human can seem almost casual can mean many things to a touch telepath. We can express emotions this way and offer support or calming influences to our partners, we can even share what for a Human would be the most passionate and intimate kiss through the slight touch of the fingertips."

" And you let me touch you without explaining that?" Nyota said with a light teasing voice as she ran her fingers up and down his sending a strong desire through his body.

" Sometimes." He continued trying to finish so that she would be more fully aware of the nature of the relationship they were building. " We can actually communicate by talking telepathically, though this takes a lot of energy."

" Yes, I do feel a little headachy and tired."

" It will get easier with time." He took a deep breath. " It is not something talked of but I have never heard of a bond forming naturally as It has done with us."

" I don't know what you mean."

" Usually a weak bond is created between male and female at a young age through an elder. That bond is allowed to strengthen over time and then when they reach maturity the bond draws them close to each other and the formal bonding ceremony is performed. They're minds become fully linked and the bond becomes permanent. They become as Husband and wife."

" And ours has come about without being implemented by a third party. Do you think that perhaps this is perfectly normal but nobody talks about it. I mean Vulcan's do not discuss private matters even amongst themselves, do they?"

" It is something that I have considered, my mind is not bonded to that of another Vulcan as most are and therefore was free to create a bond with another. I believe it may have first occurred when we first joined hands. I know that it was strengthened when.. on Valentine's Day. I had to perform a partial mind meld to communicate telepathically with you at that time."

" I remember, but I called you and you heard."

" Yes. I have never understood that. But I am glad for it."

" Spock these bonds always become permanent in the end?" Nyota looked up at him, innocent curiosity in her eyes.  
Spock hesitated.  
" It is the usual way, between Vulcan's. But you are Human and I am half human, we are free to make our own decisions concerning the future."

" Yes, we are." She said reaching her hands up to tangle in his hair and bring him down for a kiss.

" Thank you for explaining, I know you were reluctant to do so."

" I admit I worried that you would not be accepting of it. I have always known that my mind would one day be privy to somebody else's emotions and thoughts. However as a Human this must be new to you."  
Spock felt a wave of understanding and acceptance.

" Thank you Nyota. Though could you try to be a little gentler, it is difficult not to be overwhelmed when you push your emotions at me with so much force."

" I'm sorry. I didn't know."

" You will learn with time."

She snuggled back close to him and knowing there discussion was over and a relative success Spock laid back down relishing the feeling of her fingers stroking over his palm. After twenty minutes of silence Nyota spoke again.  
" Spock, can we listen to that music disk again, the one where you're playing some kind of instrument?"

" It is a Vulcan lute. I have it here, I could play it for you instead."

" That would be nice."

He looked down at her considering how to ask her to move into the bedroom. Then with a small quirk of his eyebrows he quickly hooked one arm below her knees and the other around her back.  
"Spock." She squealed as he lifted her of the sofa. She giggled as she hooked her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He almost forgot what his original aim had been, but then breaking off the kiss he started to carry her to the bedroom. He laid her gently on the bed and then went to meditation room to retrieve his lute.  
As he entered the bedroom and saw he laid out before him on the bed he felt a tingling shiver down his spine, she was beauty beyond words. He sat wordlessly on his bed and begun to play a soft tune occasionally looking around at her, as he seamlessly changed songs her eyes drifted shut, she had a small contented smile on her face. AT the end of the third song he stopped for a moment, she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

" You play beautifully."

" Thank you."

" I always wanted to learn to play an instrument but I just never seemed to have time. I was working so hard on learning as many languages as possible that I didn't have time for anything else."

Spock held his hand out too her, feeling a rush of contentment as her fingers closed around his, he pulled her up gently so that she was sitting.

" I could not teach you in one evening, but you may play a few notes if you wish."

She smiled, and taking that as her response Spock handed her the Lute. She held it awkwardly. He pulled himself back along the bed and sat directly behind her, he stretched his legs out so that she was resting between them and she leaned in against his back.  
He reached around her and moved her hand so that she was holding the lute correctly. Then speaking gently and moving her fingers gently along the strings he taught her five of the basic notes. He could tell that he concentration was fading but it did not irritate him. He had been fully aware that as he had stroked his fingers up and down hers and gently clasped her hands to move them her desire had risen.

" Practice." He instructed her. He watched as she deftly played the few notes he had instructed her, they were not as clear and consist as they should have been but it was a starting point.

" Watch me." He instructed. He played a simple tune consisting of the five notes as she looked down watching him intently. He felt his lips twitch into an unseen smile and closed his eyes, he buried his nose into the soft skin of her neck taking in that mixture of smells that was uniquely her, his partners. As he finished the song he heard her give a little yawn.

" Am I boring you?" He asked.

She moved around to look at him her eyes dancing with mischief.

" Are you teasing me Spock?"

Spock considered the question, teasing was not something that he had ever participated in before, but he had definitely asked the question in a teasing manner. Curious.

" Yes, I was. Do you mind?"

" Not at all." Her fingers reached up and trailed through his hair she leaned up and joined their lips for a quick kiss. Even though it was very brief, no more than a few seconds Spock still felt his stomach flip and his heartbeat increase.

" I think I'm just tired, hard to tell though, I feel so relaxed right now. DO I have to leave?"

" No. You do not have to." Spock answered carefully, he knew he should not allow Nyota to stay in his room for another night, especially as he had no good reason this time. But he doubted they would be found out, everybody was eagerly awaiting the end of year or getting stressed due to having too much to do before the end of it. Nobody would think to check where one particular student was.

" Do you wish to tell your roommate So that she does not worry?" Spock asked thinking of the last time Nyota had failed to return to her dorm room and Galia reaction if it occurred again.

" I suppose I should."

Nyota stretched and got up off the bed. Spock followed her into the front room but left her to talk to Galia as he went into his meditation room to carefully return his lute to its safe little stand. As he walked through the front room careful not to listen in on Nyota's conversation and sat on the bed waiting for her.

She gave him a wide smile when she entered the room three minutes later.

" I promised her I would be back early tomorrow morning. We're going shopping for accessories."

" Accessories?"

" For tomorrows ball. I'm sorry."

" It's the last day you will see your friend I would not begrudge you that."

" Thank you Spock."

She walked towards him and stopped in front of where he sat on the bed. She bent her head down and kissed him , it was a long building kind of a kiss that made Spock fell as if it was the beginning of a lot more kisses. He held back a little smirk. Kissing Nyota was quickly becoming his favorite pass time, more interesting than technical journals and chess by far.

Nyota took a quick breath then pulled him towards her again in a demanding manner. Her lips putting far more pressure on his than had done before, their tongues danced against each other, it was a rushed dizzying kind of a kiss that lasted for minutes at a time before Nyota broke of gasping for air only to start kissing him again after a few moments. Her fingers drifted through his hair and then gently graced along the edges of his ears, he had to reach up and remove her hands from them before he lost control, the simple movement had already caused him to become aroused.

Spock was not sure when they came to be resting in a lying position but as she was stretched out on top of him he knew he had not instigated it. The kiss was becoming far too heated and he was finding it more difficult by the second to control his impulses. He may dream of having a sexual relationship with Nyota but he did not actually wish for one. At eighteen she was still young and even though not a virgin he knew her experiences were not good. He knew despite her actions she was a little weary of a physical relationship. These last couple of days since she had first kissed him he found himself more able to see her motivations it as a sign that their bond was becoming more secure now that they had committed themselves to a relationship.

Spock did not actually fully understand human sexuality, for Vulcan's it was not something that was talked about, for Humans at time it seemed all that they talked about. He knew they were physically compatible and he had some knowledge of the physical differences between Vulcan and human males. But he was so much stronger than her, he was capable of harming her if her lost control for even a moment. Also he did not know what a sexual relationship would do to their bond, he feared that during mating he could enter Nyota's mind without her permission and make their bond permanent. Humans did not usually have to be concerned with these kinds of things and although he had been honest with her he had to wonder if she fully understood, surely if she had she would have been less accepting, more scared.

Although there was logically one person he could talk about these issues with he felt embarrassment at the idea of asking his mother. When the time came he would have to suppress that emotion and act in a logical manner.

" Spokh?" He heard Nyota's voice in his ear, he looked up at her.

" You just kid of spaced out on me." Her voice was worried. " Sorry I mean…"

" I have heard the phrase before. I was merely thinking, sorry if it seemed like the wrong moment to be doing so."

" That's okay." She rolled of off him to lay by his side. " What were you thinking about?"

" It is nothing to be concerned about at this moment my Nyota." He reached out and laced his fingers through hers.

" You are tired." He stated feeling it flood into his mind

" A little."

" Do you want something more comfortable to sleep in?"

" Yes."

He went to the cupboard and pulled out the T-shirt and Jogging trousers he had previously worn to sleep in when she had been there. He handed them to her and pulled out two similar garments for himself. Without a word he went into the bathroom and changed brushed his teeth and washed his face.

He hesitated as he reached his own bedroom door then knocked.

" Who is it?" Nyota called from inside his bedroom. Spock paused, He wondered who else she could think it was, they were alone in his apartment after all and the doorbell had not sounded in the five minutes and eight second since he had left her to change.

" It is Spock."

He heard a muffled little laugh.

" Come in Spock."

He walked in ready to ask her who she had been expecting but he froze, The sight before him made the question fly out of his mind and he had to pause to think what he had been meaning to ask and why it was that seeing Nota in his shirt had such an affect on him when he had seen her in greater states of undress many times. The T shirt was baggy on her it hung over her frame lightly and came to a stop a few inches below her thighs showing copious amounts of those legs he enjoyed to peak a glance at whenever he was given an opportunity.

" The trousers were much to loose they just fell straight off my hips."

Spock nodded, unconsciously he took a step towards her and another, his body closing the distance between them without any input from his mind. He kissed her with a force and an intrusiveness he had not dared use in the last few day though he had desperately wanted to at times. When he finally pulled away they were both breathless. Nyota looked at him with a puzzled almost timid look in her eyes.

" Forgive my impulsiveness." He gasped quickly removing his hands from where they were roughly grasping the top of Nyota's arms, hard enough to bruise. He felt a small amount of guilt at the idea that he could have caused her discomfort.

" I think I like your impulsiveness." She answered after a pause, she stood on the tips of her toes and gave him a quick chased kiss then turned around and pulled back the sheets of his bed. He adverted his eyes as she climbed under the sheets and he saw the hem of the shirt work it's way upwards revealing the cotton underneath. Having her in his bed, again, and this time entirely of her free will gave him a little thrill. Something curled in his stomach.

He walked around to the other side of the bed and awkwardly got in, he laid stiffly on his back a few inches away from Nyota and wondered for a second if he had made the right decision in letting her stay he had not expected to feel so much awkwardness and discomfort, after all he had secretly been thrilled at lying with her before.

He was about to order the lights off when Nyota spoke in a whispered voice.

" Spokh?"

He noticed her trend of pronouncing his name correctly when she was being affectionate with him and not only when talking in his language.

" Yes?"

" Vulcan's do not sleep as long as humans."

He heard the unasked question that came with the statement.

" I will watch you sleeping."

"Won't that be boring for you?"

" On the contrary, the few times I have had the opportunity to observe you in a sleeping state in the passed I have found it fascinating."

She gave a small laugh and turned towards him. She gave him another quick and chase kiss, then in a move that surprised him a little she scooted down the bed and laid her head on his chest. Her hand stroked down and came to rest just above his heart. They laid silently for a few minutes. Spock having calmed himself a little allowed himself to stroke his fingers through her hair. He wondered if he had ever been so happy in his life, he also wondered when being happy had turned into something to be desired and not just another illogical emotion. It felt safe to feel these things with Nyota, when it was just the two of them at least. The rest of the time he could keep his mind clear from emotion and illogical thoughts with ease. Nyota brought out the illogical human in him, but he didn't mind it.

She moved her head slightly nuzzling at him and taking a deep breath as if berthing in his scent.

" So warm and cuddly." She muttered against him.

" I do not think I have ever been called cuddly before." He stated and then wondered if any Vulcan had ever been called cuddly before.

" Maybe not cuddly exactly." Nyota corrected herself, he voice a little clearer as she looked up slightly. " Your kind of firm, but you make me feel safe and cared for."

" I do care for you and I will keep you as safe as I possibly can."

" I know and I will look after you too. Goodnight Kipenzi."

Spock did not know what the word meant but he could hear the affection in her voice. He looked down to reply but saw that she was already sleeping. He smiled, brushed the hair away from her face and quietly told the computer to turn the lights off.

* * *

Kipenzi – lover, darling.


	20. The long goodbye

Hi guys sorry for the lateness of this chapter, first week back at uni is crazy and I was working on a one shot at the same time so.. next chappie should be up soon as it's already half written.

* * *

He was allowed to touch her, that was his only thought but it was a wonderful thought. He was allowed to touch her because she was his, she had said so ' I like being called yours' the moment she had said, well slurred those words came to his mind, her lying looking at the stars. Then stepping out of that bubbling brook two days ago she had called him ' my boyfriend' he was also hers she had claimed him. He would admit to feeling a little pride at having her and being had by her. And so he did not feel any guilt as he ran his fingers lightly over her clothed back form between the shoulder blades to just above the curve of her buttocks, covered by those White Cotton panties he had briefly glimpsed the night before. She was sleeping deeply, still resting against his chest. He had lain content to listen to her breathing and feel the slight beating of her heart against his body. It did fascinate him to watch her sleep 98% of the time she was perfectly still then she would suddenly twitch or she'd move her hand a few inches down his chest. Once during the night she had brought her leg up so that her thigh rested across his, he waited ten minutes to be sure she was still deep asleep and then had moved it off of him. He would have left her there but the movement had had pulled the sheet down and his t-shirt (that she was wearing) up, and the fact that that warm point between her legs had been pressed against his hip made it impossible for him to rest.  
He felt her stir against him, she moaned a little.

" Nyota?" He whispered softly. She gave another small moan. A little concerned he pressed his hand against her forehead she was 1.3 degrees hotter than normal and he had thought she had felt cool against him. He quickly but gently moved away from her, she looked up startled.

" Spock." She said sleepily.

" You have a fever, it maybe due to being so close to my body heat." Spock explained quickly rushing out the door. He went to the replicator in his kitchen and replicated a 1.5 litre jug of iced water and a cup. He took them back to his bedroom where Nyota was sat up in his bed, he noticed that she was sweating slightly, apart from that her hair was mussed and her eyes weren't fully open due to just having woken up.

" How do you feel?" He asked as he set the jug on his bedside table, poured a glass and handed it to her. She took a small sip.

" I'm fine Spock, I just feel a little hot."

" Any dizziness, nausea or pain in the back of the neck?"

As he asked he was wondering if he would have to call doctor McCoy and if he did how the man would react to finding Nyota in his bed. Would he threaten Spock again or this time would he decide he had no loyalty to Nyota and tell star fleet.  
Star fleet oaths did not override those of a doctor. That had been decided 101 years previously when a separate code was written for serving doctors, they could keep patient doctor confidentiality unless the patient could not perform certain duties or would be a danger to the crew. Then the captain of the vessel and only the captain could be told. If he took his oaths seriously Doctor McCoy's tongue would be tied but if he felt Spock was taking advantage of Nyota that might be overridden.

" No Spock. I've just woken up and I feel a Little thirsty, that's all."

" You should not sleep so close to me in the future."

She levelled him a look that said 'are you serious?' which surprised him a little as Spock was very rarely anything but serious and those few rare occasions had only occurred relatively recently.

" Spock, you may have just ruined the best night of my life. " Her voice had hints of annoyance but Spock liked that she had referred to their night together in such a manner, he could not think of any night he had 'rejoiced' at more, of course Vulcan's are not meant to rejoice at all. He sat on the bed next to her and placed his hand back on her forehead, she had cooled slightly.

" I may have ruined it but I can guarantee you that heat stroke definitely would have." He removed his hand and pressed his lips to where it had previously been.

" I will make it up to you." He promised.

She gave a soft sleepy smile and looked over at the jug of water on the side.

" You're going to make me drink all of that aren't you?"

" Perhaps two thirds, after all I have heard it said that relationships are about compromise.""

" We'll have to learn to compromise." She agreed." And you can't keep overreacting."

" I apologize Nyota. In the last few days although happy to be with you I have on several occasions thought of how I almost lost you and how many times our mis communications could have led to me never being with you. I know that to think of such things is illogical but then there is nothing logical about us being together, but I desire it and I cannot make myself disallow it."

She leaned over and kissed him deeply.

" You have me Spock. Never mind the rest, you have me."

* * *

Spock sat with Chris in the small cafe just outside the academy grounds. It was the one he had taken Nyota too after phaser training it was a simple sort of a place serving mainly sandwiches and salads but it tended to be busy during the lunch hours with locals rather than cadets and lecturers so Spock had decided it was a safe place for private conversation.

" So why did you miss our Wednesday night drink?" Chris asked him as he picked at his salad.

" I had company and felt that the situation allowed for the overriding of our standing appointment."

" Company? You could have brought them along you know."

" I wished to be alone with this particular company."

" Oh." Chris closed his left eyes for a few seconds. " Company." There was something different about the way he said the word to previously.

" Is there something wrong with your eye?"

" I was winking."

" Why?"

Chris gave and exaggerated sigh.

" I was indicating man to- man that that I understand the company you want to keep is that of a young lady. I'm pretty sure I can guess which young lady." His voice took on a more serious note. " I hope you are being bloody careful."

" The colourful metaphors are not necessary. We will be above suspicion."

" Good." The smile and slightly teasing tone came back. " So just how well are things going with..." He looked around him and then whispered. "She who shall not be named."

" Why must she not be named?"

" Because Spock I'm keeping it a secret for you."

" Isn't this all going against star fleet regulations?"

" Spock if somebody does find out about you and her and they ask me if I knew anything about it I'm going to say no. If they ask you if I knew anything about it you're going to..."

" Lie." Spock said begrudgingly.

" Look I obey all star fleet rules and regulations. I have done for years because I believe in them. In fact there's only one thing I believe in more, quite strange seeing as my experiences with it has been rather fleeting."

" I suppose I must ask what that thing is Captain."

" Love Spock."

" Love is an illogical emotion."

" Yes, and don't you hate that fact that you're knee deep in it friend."

" I should do."

Christopher smiled knowingly at his friend.

" So, original question. How well are things going between you and your young lady?"

" Well."

" After a year of her being your favourite topic of conversation that's all you're going to give me?"

" We have both committed to a relationship of a romantic nature."

" Good for you Spock, good for you."

* * *

This time when his com system buzzed Spock knew it was his mother. She always called just before the summer break to ask him if he was coming home. She always got a disappointed and upset look on her face when Spock denied her. It was not a conversation he looked forwards to. He pressed the button on his com link to see the familiar smiling face not much changed form how it had been in his youth. Touches of grey at the temple, lines at the corner of her eyes but always the same warm smile of greeting and direct gaze, almost a mirror of his own.

" Mother."

" Hello Spock, you look well."

" I am well mother, are you in good health?"

" As well as can be expected at my age."

Spock nodded, his mother was only in her early fifties but he knew the long years of Vulcan's heat and gravity, so much stronger than that of earths, had taken its toll on her human body.

" I will not be visiting Vulcan during the academy break."Spock stated getting straight to the point.

" I know. You're going on a science expedition, checking the legitimacy of a ship found on an ice planet that's thought to be Vulcan from the time of reformation."

Spock felt his eyebrows twitch upwards, his mother would know this was silent question. This was the only facial twitch he had difficulty controlling, all others he had managed to control as a young child. His father had often told Spock that he should work harder at controlling the surprise and curiosity that the twitch displayed, though all Vulcan's were guilty of curiosity it should not be so openly displayed. His mother however said she adored the little expression, it was the only time she could tell for sure what her on was thinking or feeling.

" Star fleet informed the science academy, said it was under their care for now until they've done the preliminary checks but to start considering a suitable member to send out once they're finished. Of course there was a lot more questioning in which the fact that you were performing the preliminaries came out but the academy finally backed down and agreed to star fleets terms for the time being."

" Thank you for the information. I had been wondering if I would end up in the middle of a disagreement."

" Your father told me all this last night, you know I think he actually sounded proud when he said you were the officer doing the first checks."

" Pride is a human emotion mother and star fleets choice to send me on the preliminary checks is a logical one. I am the only Vulcan officer, I am well versed In ancient Vulcan glyphs technology and Vulcan physiology, more so than any other officer Star Fleet has at it's disposal."

" Pride seems to run in the family."

" I am merely stating a fact."

" Okay Spock. Anyway, your father asks that you send bi-weekly reports to the science academy so your replacement will be properly informed when she arrives."

" That was my intention mother."

" Okay then, any other news Spock?'

Spock considered telling his mother he was in a relationship but decided against it. He knew his mother would be pleased by such information but it would bring forth questions Spock wasn't sure he wished to answer yet, and he could never lie to his mother. He had distaste for lying even though it seemed that when living with humans it was sometimes necessary. But to lie to his mother who had raised him and cared for him and knew him and understood his dual nature, the idea disgusted him.

" Nothing to report at this time mother."

" Okay, live long and prosper Spock."

" Peace and long life mother."

* * *

The room was decorated with light blue streamers, table linen and cutlery. Blue being the colour of peace and prosperity to the Eli. Although no Eli would be attending the cadets had been instructed not to wear purple, the Eli colour of war and disaster. The parties theme had been based upon the research done by the Farragut, they had collected recipes and samples of traditional Eli music to be interspersed among the popular earth music that would be playing. Copies of Eli paintings lined the walls (the races main interest was in the cultivation of many different art forms) and a few xenoanthropology cadets had been given the task of learning and displaying for all a traditional Eli celebratory dance.

The night would officially begin at seven with video clips of the Eli going about their daily lives and ended at midnight. The last hour was given over to commendations and welcoming new members of staff who would be starting tenure at the beginning of the next academic year.

Spock had avoided being 'signed up' for helping with the decorations, sound system and food so he arrived in his rented black tux at exactly 7:15. The crowd of people entering the main hall seemed to move aside for him all knowing that Vulcan's do not like to be touched. He took a moment to take in the hall, tables to the back, dance floor to the front and food on long tables to the left. He had eaten before arriving as the previous year he had found the smell of the food presented almost sickening, he was not surprised that nobody else had shared his revulsion; Vulcan's have sensitive olfactory systems. This year he found the food to be both olfactory and aesthetically pleasing, and it seemed that the Eli were a vegetarian race. He went over the to tables and filled a plate with the imported vegetation, he may not need the extra nutrition but Spock had learnt something about Human psychology, if they see person standing and apparently doing nothing at a celebration they feel the need to 'include' him or her in the generally useless small talk. If he appeared to be eating and watching the festivities he would probably be saved from this phenomena.

He took his plate and found a quiet corner to stand in, if he sat at a table people would wish to join him and then have converse with them out of politeness. It struck him as strange how there was always a quiet corner at these kinds of events considering there were only four corners in the large square room. He watched the slideshow of the Eli, a peaceful humanoid species. Although they had warp travel they very rarely went out to space they liked to stay on their planet. They had very little interest in outside worlds though they were welcoming to off worlders. They dedicated all there time to the arts, Spock found them relatively interesting. He ate slowly so that he still had something on the plate when the half an hour film had finished. 8pm and everybody was now present, the dance floor was filled with people who had stood to watch the film, and all the tables at the back were already filled. Though there were plenty of spaces to move towards the sides of the room the centre looked uncomfortably full. Spock finished the food and walked along the outskirts of the room to dispose of his plate in a recycle bin. The minute the soggy peace of paper hit the trash bag and he turned around there was somebody in front of him, DR Roberts a specialist in the history of federation planets.

" Spock, I was hoping I would bump into you. I've heard rumours that you were chosen to do the preliminary checks on the reformation Vulcan ship."  
" The rumours on this occasion have proven to be correct." Spock answered; something over Roberts shoulder caught his saw the flash of Champaign silk. He looked through the crowd and spotted the dress. His intuition was correct it was Nyota in that Champaign coloured dress she had worn at the staff mixer. She wore light make- up and had her hair falling around her shoulders in light curls. She turned slightly and met his eyes across the crowd; she smiled widely at him and his mouth quirked.

" Spock, Are you alright?"  
He looked back at Roberts somewhat reluctantly, he knew Roberts had asked a question but he couldn't say what it was.

" I am well, can you rephrase the question."  
Roberts looked at him confused.

" I said that all of us from the history department were dying for that mission but no hard feeling's you are the most qualified."  
" Indeed."  
" Anyhow we're all sat over at the back and I was wondering if you would join us and fill us In on the technology available during the reformations."  
Spock considered the question he had four or hours to fill before he could leave and talking about Vulcan history and science was a better way to spend his time than talking about the weather and asking where people were spending their summer holidays when the information rarely proved to be of interest.

He spent the next forty minutes answering questions Vulcan ancient history, most of his questions were on science and the movement towards logic. He was careful when answering questions on ancient Vulcan society many things were not discussed with outsiders. Eventually the five historians got bored of the topic of conversation and Spock spent the next hour and twenty minutes listening to them talking about holidays in Hawaii. Spock looked around he saw Chris stood by the doorway and caught sight of Nyota near the food tables, he excused himself and walked across the room. He took another paper plate and quietly went to stand next to Nyota. She looked up and smiled at him.

" Hello Cadet."  
" Commander, are you enjoying the ball."  
" I have never seen the point in small talk." Spock answered quietly.

Nyota gave a knowing nod.

" _I see you've borrowed Gallia's dress again." He switched to Vulcan and pretended to be inspecting a dip as he spoke._

" _It looks better on me anyway."  
" I would agree. Your beauty leaves me breathless." _

" _You don't look so bad yourself."_

" _We must not be seen to linger together."  
" I know." Nyota said sadly._

" Excuse me cadet I must talk with captain Pike."

He turned from her, knowing that these were the last precious moment he could spend with her before the end of the academic year, and he would not see her face again for another six weeks. He felt that those six weeks would feel a lot longer to him, he would miss her presence, and they had had so little time together.

He made his way across the crowded room, music had been playing for the last eighty- six minutes and with the help of fruit and rum punch fifty-six pairs of cadets had made there way to the dance floor the rest were crowded in the seating area, many standing in small groups talking happily. As he approached Chris his friend smiled at him and raised his hand in a greeting.

" Hi Spock, how's the party."  
" I am obligated to attend."  
" I guess that answers my question. "  
" There are other thing's I would prefer to be dong with my time."  
" I bet. I see your managing to talk this time."  
" You Knew before I did, didn't you?"  
" That's often the way Spock."  
Spock lowered his voice as a cadet passed them in the doorway.

" You pushed us together, you made sue I would talk to her by putting that note on her file."  
Chris shifted on his feet somewhat uncomfortably.  
" I may have given a little push, but all those one –to- ones and secret conversations in a dialect nobody else understands, that was all your doing."

" Why did you 'give a little push'?"

" I wasn't trying to play matchmaker Spock, I just saw two people who needed each other. I didn't know you were going to fall for each other. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a new pilot instructor who I'm eager to meet.

Spock nodded, Pike had mentioned having met the new instructor some years ago when she had been stationed on Taurus IV. Though he had not said more than a few sentences about the woman Spock got the distinct impression that there brief relationship had been of something other than a professional nature. He would have preferred to keep Chris's company for the rest of the evening as he could not have Nyota's but he could not deny his friend the chance of a romantic involvement, not now he knew how satisfactory such involvements could be.

"Of course Christopher, I leave on the expedition in two days so I will wish you a pleasant summer vacation."

" I'm not going to let you leave like that Spock. I'll be round for drinks tomorrow night. Get the good scotch."

Chris clapped him on the shoulder and Spock watched as he approached an aesthetically pleasing middle-aged blonde woman. As she saw Chris approach she smiled widely, she laid her hand on his arm and whispered into his ear, Spock turned away to give them privacy. It was good that Christopher could spend the night in pleasant company, and that he could be touched by the one he adored without accusations and whispered conversation. He glanced around trying to spot Nyota, he did not think they would get away with another quiet conversation but he wished to check that she was at least enjoying herself and was not being harassed by any male cadets. He saw Galia dancing with a young man up near the stage. It took him a few moments to realize it was her as the dress she wore was a pleasant shade of blue and more conservative than anything Spock had seen her in before. He expected to see Nyota watching from the edge of the dance floor or sat at one of the tables with McCoy or her classmates but he could not see her. The popular song was drawing to an end as Spock reached the other side of the hall meaning to wonder around the edges until he spotted Nyota. As the final notes came to an end a male voice came over the speakerphone.

"It's that time you've all been waiting for people, the traditional teacher pupil dance."

There were a few auditable groans from amongst the crowd. Spock, thankful he was near the entrance quickly turned around to head out just as the voice announced.

"That's the traditional and obligatory teacher student dance. So teachers down some rum punch and find a willing student."

Spock was two feet from the door when a girl he recognized from his third year class stepped in front of him. She boldly looked up at him.

" Will you dance with me commander?"

"Vulcan's do not dance." He replied quickly stepping to the side and making it out the door and down the hallway before any other female cadet could intercept him. It was the part of the ball he found most unpleasant but he had so far managed to escape each year without any other teacher stopping him from leaving. He saw an

Empty class room at the end of the corridor and swiftly walked inside, he would sit in the dark until he was sure the dance was over then rejoin the ball hoping nobody had noticed his absence.

The door, which he had closed behind him, opened Spock froze in the darkness and was about to turn when he heard Nyota speaking in his home dialect.

"_ I believe this is my dance Mr Spock."_

Spock turned to see her stood in the doorway the lighted corridor behind her creating a halo of light around her body. He recalled when he had seen her dressed as an angel at Halloween and thought about how now with the long pale dress and the light shining around her she definitely looked like the angels he had seen pictured, pure and Beautiful.

_" Yes, miss Uhura I believe it is."_

She closed the door behind her, ordered the lights on and raised her arms. When Spock stepped into them he felt a warm spread through his entire body an intense satisfaction and sense of belonging. It was the same feeling he had experienced when he had returned to Vulcan after three years of being away. He placed both his hands on her lower back and felt her lean into him and give a small sigh. Spock moved his left hand away from the curve of her back and found her fingers. He stroked up and down a few times feeling a bittersweet mixture of emotions from her. He felt he understood perfectly, happy to be with her after months of longing, a little reluctant and sad at the fact it was there last few moments together for six weeks.

He moved his fingers to hold her hand firmly. He had seen this done many times, watched the small complicated and graceful movements but had not tried to reproduce them to now. Nyota sensing what he was doing moved her hand to rest on his shoulder and moved a few inches away from him. She starred up at him with a deep attention. He listened to the slow music waited till he knew the beat and then took two steps back one to the left leading Nyota, two forwards one to the right, he was caught up in the precision of the movements until he spun Nyota away from him and she gave a light delighted giggle. He could sense her delight from their contact and he allowed himself to take bit of it into himself. His muscles started to relax and after the next set of movements he placed his hands firmly on her waist lifted her three and a half inches from the floor and twirled in a slight circle with her. Her hands gripped his shoulders. Her eyes shone as she looked at him and smiled widely giggling slightly. He felt his lips twitch upwards and allowed himself the smallest of smiles in response.

As he lowered her back to the floor her hands moved up to frame his face and she kissed him in an ecstatic happy manner the kiss soon deepened, Spock's desire was as if the kiss had to be enough to tide them over for six weeks. He stroked his hands lightly down her back, and then pulled away. He wanted things to go further but he reminded himself of all the logical reasons why it shouldn't and that they were 8.6 meters away from a hall filled with 78% of the staff and students of the academy.

Nyota gave him one more quick kiss as he pulled away. Spock hesitated, he wish he could keep kissing her all night into the early hours of the morning as he had done three nights ago.

" It hasn't even been four days, four nights but only three days and we couldn't even spend today together." Nyota said sadly, looking straight into his eyes.

" You are expressing regret that we have not spent more time together but that regret is illogical Nyota. We will be able to spend more time together after the summer break."

" You won't replace me with some other girl with a higher I.Q and more languages?" He voice was teasing but he could still feel a small anxiety from her, part if her did feel insecure about there relationship.

"You are irreplaceable."

She smiled weakly at him and he bent his head to give her a tender kiss hoping to reassure her.

"Can you do me a favour?" Nyota asked him.

"It depends on what it is but there is very little I would deny you."

" Don't come to the shuttle hanger tomorrow?"

" What is your reason for asking?"

" I can't bare to say goodbye to you like that, with all those people there. Let me say goodbye too you here where I can hold you and tell myself it's not all a dream."

"I shall do as you wish Nyota."

He could not resist giving her another kiss, he kissed her as if it were the last time, he tried to pour all the desire and admiration he felt for her into that one kiss. There was a swishing sound and it took Spock 2.3 seconds to realize it was the sound of the door opening. He jumped away from her and turned to the door. His panic disappeared when he saw Chris stood in the doorway. He turned back to Nyota her face showed shock, eyes wide mouth slightly open.

" Captain Pike, I was, we were..."

"Relax Cadet." Chris I'd raising one hand.

"Nyota, captain Pike is fully aware of the nature of our relationship and he would not betray us."

Spock explained, Nyota's eyes flickered to him, she still looked shocked.

" He is my friend." Spock explained.

"Sorry to spoil the moment but they're looking for you Spock. They need you to stand in for Roberts he was meant to be giving out some science award."

Spock turned back to Nyota, she looked a little more relaxed but not much. He reached for her hand and linked their finger, Nyota sent him a nervous look she seemed reluctant to touch him. He sent her soothing feelings and affection through their link. He could see her relax slightly.

Chris coughed when Spock looked back at him he was grinning widely. Spock looked between Nyota and Chris for a moment he knew he had to go but he could not leave Nyota like this. Chris seemed to sense his dilemma as he turned his back from them and kept his eyes firmly on the wall. Spock turned back to Nyota he calculated that they had about thirty seconds left together. He ran his fingers down her check she stood on the tips of her toes and he brought her close for a final kiss, short and bitter sweet. He held her close to him for a few more seconds memorising the feeling of her body against his and her scent. She was the one to pull away from him; he noticed a tear glisten on her cheek. She turned without a word and began to walk away from him. Spock thought of being so far away from her, he would not even feel her presence in her mind the link was not strong enough to withstand the tens of thousands of miles between them.

" Nyota." He called her. She paused at the door a foot away from Chris who was ignoring them.

"Will you contact me over the summer? Let me know that you are safe."

"Of course Spock." She turned to glance at him; she gave him watery smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. She walked through the door and it closed behind her.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you Spock." Chris said.

" It was necessary. I would not have wished for anybody else to have found me in this situation." Chris nodded he clapped him on the back.

" Let's go."

He and Chris walked together back to the hall, the noise of people talking and music getting louder as they got closer. Once in the hall Spock was quickly handed some notes he was meant to read out and directed to the platform, he climbed the stairs and looked out over the crowd. As the music was turned off and he waited for the room to quieten down he looked for Nyota wishing to glimpse her one more time. He saw her, her back to him as she exited the hall.

* * *

Spock sat on a bench in one of the academies many small gardens. It was the perfect position to watch the shuttle pods as they dropped students of at various points all over the world or transported them to places they could find off world travel. Spock glanced down at his watch, it was 7:48. Nyota would be leaving in three minutes. He waited patiently with a strange tightness in his stomach. After two minutes and fifty-three second he saw a shuttlepod, the name Newton printed on the side hover fifty feet n the air then turning slightly move at speed away from him. She was gone.


	21. Emails

E-mails

June/August

I have been trying to think of a reason to contact you but could not come up with one. Have you arrived in orbit yet?

* * *

My reply is late due to not being able to send interplanetary messages in transit. I am now in orbit of Damsen III and have been fully briefed. Tomorrow I shall make my first inspection of the ancient ship. The planet itself is in an ice age, I am only able to withstand the cold for two hours at a time so I shall collect data and samples on the planet surface and analysis it aboard the bounty. Tell me of your days and family. I wish to think of you performing your daily tasks whilst I am alone in my quarters at night.

* * *

Take care of yourself on Damsen III. It's sounds as if it weren't for your interest in the ship the conditions would be unbearable for you, I know you hate the cold. I have been cooking with my mother and visiting people from school. It is strange as I finished a year early all my classmates have only just graduated. At school nobody wanted to know me, now I get phone calls everyday from old 'friends' who want to hear all about my 'adventures' at the academy. The attention makes me uncomfortable.

* * *

I would not take unnecessary risks on Damsen III, I will remain as safe as possible. The ship holds the remains of fifty-six humanoids, it is logical to believe it was a transport it could not have sustained that number of people for more than four months. The conditions would have been poor. The markings are definitely Vulcan but no conclusions can be drawn yet.

The technology fascinates me.

I do not like to hear of your discomfort and false friends I hope for your sake it ends soon. Are you well? Tell me of the books you are reading or the places you visit.

* * *

I can imagine how eerie it must be to walk through those corridors filled with the dead, frozen in time. I know it would not affect you as it would me but still to think of all those people dying in the cold far away from home. It is admirable to find out who they were and where they came from.

I am resting up, after life at the academy everything seems sedate here. It is nice to be back in the heat.

I am reading one of the tech books from the modules on communication array maintenance and programming. I want to be prepared, languages I am confident with the other stuff is new to me.

In a few days I am going to stay with my brother for a week. It'll be nice to get to know his wife and baby Akina better.

* * *

Eerie, an appropriate word perhaps. I admit I was affected emotionally today. There was a fifty seventh passenger. In one of the quarters there was a cot, the infant could not have been more than a week old. They were Vulcan.

* * *

That's awful Spock, I was sat here tickling Akina when I read your message and I wanted to cry, to die at such a young age. Although I know you will approach this with sensitivity for the dead and scientific inquiry I am sorry you have to see these awful things. I think of you daily and I can't wait for the new year to start. Thank you for confiding in me Spock.

* * *

I am sorry what I wrote disturbed you. I think of you often during the days and during the nights I think of kissing your lips and holding you close to me. The time apart from you seems to have lasted longer than three weeks, it is illogical.

It is an honor to be involved in this expedition but I know many are finding it emotionally taxing. The evidence is beginning to point to these fifty-seven Vulcan's dying close to two thousand years ago but as they are frozen and their faces are intact the human members of the team have difficulty distancing themselves from the crash victims and concentrating on the science.

I have an agreement from the Vulcan high council that once all knowledge that can be gained has been gained then the fifty-seven will be returned and buried on Vulcan soil.

Tell me of Akina. Is she well?

* * *

Akina is beautiful, such a happy baby. She hardly ever cries and always watches me as I walk around the room. She giggled for the first time yesterday. I love her already. I'm only here for another three days, I can't bare to leave her but I know that if I don't then I can't return to the academy. When I see her again at Christmas she will be so much bigger.

Diana, my brothers wife is nice though she seems to be taking some time to warm up to me. She doesn't have any siblings so I don't think she fully understands the affection me and Peter have for each other.

I have not told Peter of my argument with Nyonda as I know he will be angry with her I don't want our argument to cause other rifts amongst my family members though I suppose they will have to know at some point.

My mother is already asking why I have cancelled the holiday we were going on together. The things she said and the way she acted still shock me, I have never seen that much hate and anger in her before but now I know that it must have been building up for a long time. I want to travel the universe, meet new people and species and be able to communicate and learn from them. With Nyonda turning out to be xenophobic it is as if she hates everything I hold important. How are we ever going to repair this damage when we both believe we are right and feel so passionately about those beliefs? I miss her Spock, I miss her as she was when we were children, not as she is now.

* * *

Nyota, I have experience with family rifts. I have not spoken to my father in six years and one week, due to my choice to join Star Fleet and to break the connections with she he had chosen to be my wife. Repair the rift between you and your Kin if possible. The longer the rift lasts the deeper the pain it causes becomes and the more difficult it will be to repair.

I am glad you find some joy in your niece.

* * *

Did I feel you in my mind last night Spock? I'm sure I felt a kind of tickle of something familiar.

I cannot see a way to repair my relationship with Nyonda, unless she changes her perspective I do not see how I could feel the same depth of friendship and affection for her as I did as a child. But I will always hope for some change in our situation and always hope that we will eventually find a way to reconcile.

You were engaged?

I am sorry to hear about your family problems Spock.

* * *

Yes Nyota I tried to open the bond between us. I did not wish to invade your privacy, I was trying to see if I could connect with you over such a distance, I was unaware that I had partially succeeded until I received your message.

I under went a preliminary bonding with a female my father had seen as suitable. The bond was always weak and never pleasant. Believe me when I say I never had any affection for her, you are the only one I have ever had any affection for. I have only met her once as a child of seven, all connections with her were severed before I left Vulcan for the academy.

I found seven record tapes in the ship ten days ago and this morning was finally able to make a device to retrieve some data, though 69% of it is too corrupt to restore. These records when added to the other evidence I have collected gives irrefutable proof that the ship is from the time of reformation. The fifty-seven crew members had been in transit for two months, they had left Vulcan refusing to adhere to the teachings of Surek and were looking for a suitable Class M planet to start a colony on. The final records suggest that the ship had suffered some malfunction and they had to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet and wait for their distress signal to be answered. I think it is right to assume their distress call was never heard.

* * *

You seem to have accomplished a lot in a short time, I feel kind of guilty that I haven't been doing anything except visiting family. It sound interesting I hope you'll tell me more about it when we see each other again.

I am back home now. Today is ten days exactly before I return to the academy, I can't wait. It's been nice to be back home and to see people again but now I'm starting to get bored.

I was just shocked to hear of you being engaged, I knew arranged marriages were common on Vulcan but I had never thought that you might be involved in one. I believe you when you say you did not have any affection for her. I am only just realizing how little of your life I know about. It doesn't matter though, I know you value your privacy and although there are many things about your past and your family I do not know I still feel that I know you.

* * *

This is the last time you will hear from me, I leave orbit in three days, it is another three days travel back to the academy. I will be waiting for you at the shuttle hanger. I greatly anticipate our reunion.I am glad you understand the circumstances of my engagement, it is not something I have mentioned before because to me it is inconsequential. Any questions that you put to me about my past will be answered truthfully. There is nothing to be gained from keeping any information from you.

The representative from the Vulcan science academy who is to replace me arrived yesterday. She is knowledgeable, logical and efficient. I believe She will continue the work I have started admirably. The bodies of the passengers will start to be removed tomorrow. I have ascertained from the ships medical records the identities of each corpse and have arranged for them to be buried in family groups in the province I believe they were from.

I wish you a safe journey back to the academy. Peace and long life Nyota. We will be together again soon.


	22. The darker side of nature

So here we are at chapter 22 and the story is only half way through. Just in case they're any of you out there thinking when is this going to end, well the answer is right after the events of the film. The ending chapter is already written. So here we go... onto year two.

September

Spock stood amidst the loud noises and busy rush of the shuttle bay. Most first year were not due to arrive till the next day. The last two days had been designated for assisting the return of second and third year cadets who lived either off planet, in rural areas or in Nyota's case those who simply lived so far from the academy that traditional flight would take them over ten hours. Because 93% of those arriving were returning students there were only four instructors whose tasks were to show the 7% new cadets to their quarters guide the shuttles in to the landing bays and to hurry along cadets who were lingering. Spock took several deep breaths and tried to clear his mind, he had slept longer than usual the previous night but did not feel rested. His sleep had been interrupted by fitful dreams, one where he had met her in this exact spot but the hanger and the entirety of the academy was void of anybody else so they could walk freely hand in hand talking to each other about the time they had spent apart. From the moment he had arrived back in orbit of earth he could feel her gentle presence in his mind that little spark that had been there on Dansm III but silent and weak.

In other dreams he had seen their parting but different from how it had truly been. In his dream they had not been interrupted by Chris and he had made love to her passionately and without shame on the lushly carpeted floor of the classroom. Soft music playing in the background all the time.

His final dream was a true memory, he was in a hotel, very familiar to him even though he had only stayed there one night. He was in an elevator and when the doors open into the foyer he spotted Chris shaking the hands of an older African couple. With them was a teenage girl who seemed older than her age filled with grace and confidence and clad in figure hugging but simple black trousers and a white sweater. She was beautiful, he realized now the most beautiful woman he would ever meet, because she was a woman now, fourteen months later and the academy had done that. The girl of his dream had turned to look at him with curious amber eyes, her mouth had turned up in the slightest of smiles. Such a simple moment, such a small and uneventful meeting but it had changed his life in inconceivable ways.

His eyes flickered to his watch just as the numbers flashed from 13:34 to 13:35, the shuttle she was due to arrive in was three minutes late. He turned to the nearest computer terminal and checked the listings to see if there was a cause for it's lateness and a new arrival time sketched in but found the system had not updated itself. He would have to suggest to management an update to the system to make it more efficient.

His sensitive ears picked up the sound of the shuttle a two point 34 seconds before it arrived at the hangers entrance. His heartbeat increased significantly when he saw the shuttles name. Nyota had arrived and with in a few minutes he would see her beautiful features again, catch whiffs of that raspberry and flesh scent, hear the soft tones of her voice. He stopped himself before he ran his hand over his hair, it was flat he told himself, it had been years since his hair had been a cause of embarrassment, as a child his human genetics led to a slight messy curl in his hair that he had been a course of much torment from his classmates.

The shuttle started it's decent and he felt his stomach flip. Just a little while longer he told himself. It seemed to Spock as if his senses were muffled and he was no longer aware of any of the noises, smells or presence's in the shuttle hanger, only the shuttle carrying Nyota was present. When the shuttle touched the floor Spock took a few steps forwards then stood still with his arms folded behind his back a safe distance away from the shuttle. As the stairs came down and the occupants of the shuttle started to exit Spock was full of a nervous anxiety, he wished to fidget but again that was

Something he'd learned to suppress as a child, to the crowds of people passing him he would seem unemotional and unmovable.

He watched as five cadets exited the shuttle, he could feel his heart thudding just below his ribs, the same thudding as when he'd run fifteen laps of the track. Then, finally after what had seemed like more than the 48 seconds it actually was since the first person had made his exit A pair of well toned olive skinned legs appeared at the top of the stairs, the next step revealed the top of he skirt and slim waist, the third those gentle curves of her breasts he always tried not to overtly look at for too long, then finally her gorgeous features. She wore her hair down and he could see that she had trimmed it as it reached just a few inches below her shoulder, her skin was a tone darker than when she had left due to the African sun and although he would never point it out to her, her waist though still slim by all accounts was definitely a between one and two centimeters wider, it was a phenomenon he had often seen human cadets after summer break but it didn't bother him in the slightest. Before she was half way down the steps her eyes were flittering around the room, he knew that it was he that she was looking for and he could not help but be a little pleased by that knowledge. Her amber eyes met his and gave that familiar wide smile. Spock felt his breath hitch in his throat. He unconsciously took another two steps towards her just avoiding walking into another cadet. His eyes never left hers as she finished down the steps and crossed the room in hurried motions. She stopped 1.9 feet away from him. If they were anywhere else he would reach out to hold her in his arms but they were in a busy shuttle hanger surrounded by people who would see and then know about their secret almost forbidden romance. He had to be content knowing that she was safe and had returned to him and soon they would be behind closed door, safe from prying eyes.

"Cadet Uhura." He said trying to keep the abundant emotions he was experiencing out of his voice. "I trust you are well."

"Yes , thank you commander." She took another half step forwards. "And you? Are you well?"

_"More than well now you have returned my precious one." _

Though he knew nobody else at the academy spoke the dialect he kept his voice low enough so that only she could hear it. He reached his hand out to he in his dream this had been when he was able to take her hand and that beautiful katra only 1.4 feet away had touched his mind. In reality it was so that he could take one of the large heavy duffel bags she carried on her back. 'Soon' he promised himself 'soon we will be as one again.'

They walked side by side through the hanger, Spock noticed a few people staring at them but when he returned their stares they quickly averted their eyes. He found himself giving quick glancing looks across at Nyota, when she first stepped out of the hanger he watched her take a deep breath, smiling slightly at the fresh air. Each time he looked at her the light fell across her skin in at a different angle cast different shadows and patches of light across her skin. Just before they entered the student apartments he glanced across at her and their eyes met. She looked down and shook her head in a silent little laugh. He realized that not only had she noticed his frequent glances but had been making her own as well. There was the usual queue outside the lift so again they took the stairs, he did not need to ask her anymore he knew she preferred it. Spock felt his apprehension rising with every step he took. He tried to gather his emotions, shrink them and make them more manageable. He felt relatively calm by the time they reached the tops of the stairs, turned left down a corridor and walked the 13 feet to the room she had used the previous year.

"It will still recognize you the locks in this sector have not been reset."

Nyota pressed her palm to the door pad and typed the door code he had set to give her extra security. The door opened and he followed her into the apartment. The door shut behind them and they were alone at last. Spock placed her duffel bag into the corner of the room. Nyota flung hers next to the bed. He turned to her and she gave him a short smile but there was something slightly nervous about it. She walked up to him and rested her head against his chest, he took in the feeling of her against him. The wonderfulness of her being closer to him again, he slowly rested his hands against the small of her back and bending his head down to rest in the curve where her shoulder met he neck, that spot was always warmer than the rest of her and her scent was always more concentrated. There was something unfamiliar, something about her that didn't fit exactly with his memory of her, it was her scent there was something other than the usual raspberries, she was wearing a perfume soft and floral.

" Do you still want me Spock? She muttered against his chest.

He gently pushed her away from him and reached down for her hands taking both in his own then spreading her fingers so they could carefully link them. Spock heard Nyota gasp and he could understand it's cause the link between them that had been sedate had flown open it was to him as if a firework had gone off in his mind. He thought of the affection and regard he felt for her and pushed it through the link towards her. She smiled a natural wide smile and looked up at him. She moved her hands from his and grasped his wrist, she took a step backwards pulling him backwards with her. She dropped his wrist and sat on the bed scooting over to lie on her side in the middle. She gave a small shy smile and patted the sheets next to her. He felt a shot of desire travel down his body, he had seen her make the small gesture in a dream he had experienced three weeks previously, but in the dream she had laid completely revealed to him. He laid on the bed his movements felt awkward to him as he shuffled along the bed so they could lay a few inches apart from each other. She stared at him with her beautiful amber eyes transfixed him, their permanent curiosity and light, the gentle way they took him in as they talked or held each other or that hard granite flash of anger when they argued. Those eyes held such expression and now they stared across at him with adoration which matched his own. Gently feeling as though anything more than the slightest of touches would break her he leaned close and placed feather light kisses

on her eyelids that had fluttered closed as she had sensed his intentions. He could not describe the feel of her cool skin under his lips but it was simple and fascinating and addictive and always led to that pressure building in his chest and stomach and unless he took measures to stop it his groin. Not content to only kiss her eyelids he touched his lips to her forehead, the wispy hair of her eyebrows, first her left temple and down her jaw line then the right. He pushed his body against hers and she yielded to him turning onto her back. He leaned over her palms on the bed sheets careful to keep his weight of off her but still keeping his body close to hers. He felt the soft mounds of her breasts moved against his chest as she took sharps shallow breaths. The sound of her heart beat so strong and fast seemed to ring in his ears. She ran her fingers through his hair and down the nape of his neck as she stared up. He moved all his weight onto one hand and stroked his finger along her cheek the skin soft and smooth. He took some of the hair that rested on her shoulders into his hand and let the fine fibers run through his fingers and drop back down as her fingers came back up along the side of his face and lightly traced his ears. He heard the soft reverberating moan but it took him another few seconds to place that it had come from him. Nyota gave a soft little smile he knew was in response to the sound and then with tantalizingly slow movements ran her fingers upwards along the side of his ears right to their very tips causing a tingling and warming sensation to spread down them. He recognized the pleasure he was feeling, more than he had ever experienced before, he had to share it with her. He reached up and almost regretfully took one of her hands away from his ears and linked their fingers together. The force of their link astonished him it seemed to have grown whilst they had been parted yet that was not possible. She was there with him, truly with him her mind open like a book if he wished to read it. She seemed as real to him as his own self, the little light between them was now a bright star and they were only separated by the finest of veils. He could feel her emotions as if they were his own and they almost were, pleasure, warmth, happiness, longing, desire, the slightest of nervous apprehension but outshone by a sense of belonging and strange hope. How could she handle such strong and complex emotions without needing to suppress them? She was extraordinary in her ability to feel and handle emotions.

Her free hand pinched lightly at his ear and he felt a sudden shot of pain cut through the pleasure, if he had been expecting it he would have blocked it and it wouldn't have affected him.

"Ow." Nyota said her voice startled she looked up at him her eyes wide with shock. Spock realized that she had meant the action to be pleasurable for him.

"My ears are rather sensitive Nyota." He explained his voice low.

" I'm sorry." She said he sensed a small worry in her, he had to get rid of it, it was not congruent with the rest of her feelings.

" Apologies are not necessary, you did not know ."

He sensed a slight relief in her.

"I felt your pain."

" The bond is strong at the moment."

" Why?"

Spock knew it was not a complaint but curiosity.

"I believe it is because I have a strong desire to be close to you, our telepathic bond seems to be strengthened by that desire, my mind is actively trying to join with yours."

" It's a mutual desire Spock."

He opened his mouth to explain how both being in the same state of mind was also aiding their connection but she pressed two fingers on his lips. He raised his eyebrow in a silent question but her hand had already snaked up to entwine in his hair at the back of his head and apply slight but persistent pressure bringing his face closer to hers.

"Kiss me Spock."

He happily answered her request, he intended their kiss to be sweet and soft but at the first touch of the moist softness he wanted more. He hungrily breathlessly moved his mouth over hers wanting to claim her. She was his, he felt pride and joy in that fact, but not she wasn't completely his not yet, it wasn't permanent yet.

As the kiss deepened he only felt the need to claim more of her grow, he pressed his body into her feeling every curve against him. He removed his hand from hers but their link remained just as strong. He allowed his hand to wonder up her arm, the dress uniform left so much unexplored skin bare. When she broke the kiss panting for air he shifted and held her left arm up to his mouth, he kissed her wrist feeling the gentle pulsing under the skin he ran his open lips up to the crease of her elbow where he placed another kiss feeling her shudder beneath him. He felt the slight dampness of perspiration and fascinated by this thing that no other humanoid species does he gave a little lick to her skin and tasted the salt on his tongue. Something about tasting her just seemed to increase his desire and he felt the edges of his control begin to peel away.

He bent back down to her kissing her again as his hands sought out more flesh. Travelling down her arm and brushing down the curve of her waist till one last conscious though made him remember kissing her calf in the pool. He reached down and hooked his hand behind her knee pulling it upwards alongside his own leg and inadvertently causing his groin to be pushed up between her legs. He felt a rumbling growl as she squirmed under him causing a delicious friction in that part of his anatomy. He felt her hands that had been travelling up and down his back, along his shoulders and biceps now dip down one resting in the dip of his lower back the other travelling over the top of his buttocks to gently squeeze, he growled again. She broke their kiss again, lightly nipping his bottom lip as she pulled away.

She looked up at him, lips plump from the bruising force of their kisses. She reached up to gently run a single finger down his cheek. She was so beautiful to him, so desirable and full off life. Too be paired with her and allowed access to her thoughts and emotions seemed to him to be a want deeper than any he had previously experienced. He bent to kiss that area where he had smelt the perfume and although later he would not be able to say why he did it he bit down on the soft flesh there drawing a sharp intake of breath from Nyota. Before she could speak he captured her mouth again his tongue quickly gaining entrance to her mouth. All thought had ceased, primal instincts were taking over. He ran his fingers over the delicate flesh below her knee making her squirm again. Then he stroked along her inner thigh till his hand knocked against the material that had been slowly working it's way up till it barely covered her. Nyota seemed to fidget against him her hands no longer stroked along his back they rested under him against his chest. As one hand drew lower down her thigh the other came up to her face , bringing most of his weight down on her. He liked the increased Closeness he wanted more, wanted to know her Mind to be inside her, one with her. His fingers found the points on her face for psychic connection and his mind began probing the link further open, just as those at her thigh worked their way up to brush against the soft cotton of her underwear. Four things happened at once, Nyota pulled away from him but her hands pushed against his chest, he felt a sudden string panic come from their telepathic link heard her strongly say 'no' and then experienced the strange sensation of somebody waking up in a strange place with no idea how they got there. It was as if his mind quietly turned off had just been switched back on again.

He backed away from her quickly pulling himself to the edge of the bed, back turned away from her, he closed the link between them blocking her from him almost completely. He bent his head into his hands, he was horrified by his actions, the two offences he had almost committed. There was some darkness to his nature, that he had always known, it was a darkness in all Vulcan's. The darkness that had made them give up love and happiness and take on logic, the thing they all needed to protect themselves against. But never, never would he have thought himself capable of forcing anthers mind. 'She chose you.' He thought to himself, 'isn't that where all the beauty lies, that she chose you to create a bond with, to be her partner and now you try to force her to give more when she has already willingly given you so much.' Why hadn't he protected himself against his dark Impulses? He knew they were there, seven months ago hadn't he considered taking anthers life? As a child had he not broken a classmates nose and jaw? Had his willingness to feel happiness loosened his control of his other emotions?

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, despite their distance he could feel her concern.

"Spock?" Her voice was so sweet, so worried. She did not know what he had been attempting to do. She was goodness, angelic and he was... No, wasn't she capable of anger as well, she was human he knew she was capable of lust he had felt it from her half a dozen times. Perhaps she would understand even forgive him. But he was too ashamed to tell her.

"Spock, speak to me."

" I lost control." He told half the truth. "I have little experience with these emotions, I do not know how to control them yet."

He felt her lean her head against his shoulder, wrap her arms around his stomach and kiss his neck. It was affection he didn't deserve.

"It's alright Spock." She whispered soothingly. " Nothing happened, you didn't hurt me..."

"It's what could have happened that worries me Nyota." He said cutting her off and turning to look at her breaking the hold she had of him. He looked into her sad eyes, she was still panting slightly from the intensity of their kisses.

"Spock, It'll happen when we're both ready. I trust you. You won't hurt me Spock." Her fingers reached to touch his face and he was forced to strengthen the barriers that dampened their bond. Spock knew that she wasn't referring to their mental bond but to the a physical one. She believed that it was his touching her without permission that he was ashamed of, she wasn't wrong and he wouldn't correct her further.

"Okay?" She asked.

"Yes." he answered taking her wrists and pulling her hands from his face.

"I must go meditate, I need to regain full control."

She nodded. He placed a small kiss to her forehead before leaving her.

* * *

Well, tell me what you think.


	23. Longing for home

Come the morning Spock felt a lot calmer, he still felt some disbelief at his own actions, still felt guilt and shame but it was now manageable. He felt it was now at a level where he control it, where it would not interfere with his ability to make logical decisions. He had been thinking about his relationship with Nyota, how the strong companionship he felt when with her and the strong desire for her body seemed two different parts of the same thing. Without the desire it was only friendship, without the companionship it was empty and worthless. If he wished to continue in this relationship with her, (which he did more than anything) he had to learn to control his desire, for now he would have to simply repress it.

The mess hall was busier than it usually was at that time in the morning; he figured it was due to the new cadets arriving that morning. Current students were getting ready to give tours to the new first years. He ordered Plomett soup from the replicator and picked some fresh fruit from the breakfast bar. He took his tray and glanced around looking for a free table and spotted Nyota sitting on her own at the back of the hall. She was looking out of the glass wall across the recreation fields towards the bay. She was carefully sipping from a mug. He walked over to her, she seemed deep in thought and did not notice him until he spoke.

"May I sit here?"

She looked up at him and he noticed for the first time that there were dark marks under her eyes and a slight sagging of the skin there. She had not slept for a long enough period of time the previous night. She gave him a small smile and gestured to the seat next to him. He sat and spent a moment looking out of the window he could not see anything that could be holding her attention it was a clear morning, likely to reach a moderately warm temperature later in the day.

_"You appear to be tired Nyota, you did not sleep well last night?"_

_"Just the excitement of being back here I guess."_ She didn't look at him as she spoke.

_"Indeed. We did not get to speak much yesterday."'_

She gave a small smile and met his eyes.

_" No, we didn't. Are you... in control again?"_

_" Yes. " _He hesitated._ " Do you still hold negative emotions towards me due to my actions yesterday?"_

She shook her head slowly_. _

_"No Spock. I think thing's got a little intense. I was.. Enjoying myself but .." _She looked down and shook her head.

_" Nyota, firstly I knew exactly what emotions you were experiencing." _She smiled slightly._ "Secondly you can be honest with me."_

Nyota looked down, Spock could not tell whether she was anxious or ashamed.

_" I just had this moment when I felt.. I remembered.. Him touching me." _She looked up at him and talked quickly as if she regretted what she had said and needed to clarify her words. "_ I mean, I don't think of you like, that I know you're not..."_

Spock knew perfectly well the 'him' she referred to was Williams and that when Nyota had stopped him he had been touching her in a similar manner, he could understand how her brain had made the connection. That didn't mean he liked it though, to have reminded her of such a frightening experience. He did not know if it would happen again but he did know that sensitivity and moving at the pace she set was required if he was not going to just make the situation worse. He would not usually know such things especially not where Humans were concerned but he knew her well. He was starting to understand her viewpoint on thing's, what made her angry and what she needed. He knew he would never again try to move their physical relationship forward without her permission or encouragement.

_" You are still recovering from a traumatic event. I am sorry that I reminded you of it. I am sorry I caused you any discomfort. I shall make an effort to control my emotions more efficiently. "_

_" It's okay Spock, I think I will also have to be a little more controlled." _She gave the smallest of smiles.

_" You forgive me?"_

_"There's nothing to forgive."_

He took a deep breath, he had decided last night that he could not keep things from her, it would affect their relationship, as they were trying to keep thing's a secret they would need to develop a deep trust for each other, one that would not occur id either of them willingly kept information from the other.

_" Nyota, yesterday I discovered that as my desire rose I wished to meld my mind with yours. When I put my fingers to your face I had begun the process. It was this action that I am ashamed of, to access somebody's mind without their spoken permission is the gravest of offences."_

Nyota looked down she seemed to take in his words; it took her 2 minutes 3 seconds to reply.

_"Did you see anything in my mind? I mean other than my emotions and general inklings that we usually share."_

_" No, I do not believe I did, I did not complete the meld."_

_"Okay. Then I think we can take this experience to be a warning and nothing more."_

He nodded; it was a mature statement for her years.

_" Is it normal that a Vulcan wishes to access a ... Mates mind when they are ..."_

_" Sexually aroused." _Spock supplied the words.

She blushed slightly and nodded.

_" It is plausible but these things are not discussed. Do our genetic differences concern you?"_

She shook her head.

_" Not in the slightest Spock."_

Spock felt his lips twitch.

_" I love it when you smile."_

_" I do not smile."_

_" You do, just very slightly."_

She gave a soft tinkling laugh and he knew things between them were well again.

"_ Are your family in good health?"_

_" Yes, though my mama thinks I'm dating somebody."_

_" You are dating somebody."_

_" Yes, but the thing is that if she suspects she'll soon ask questions and after that she'll start demanding answers. "_

_" My mother does the same."_

Nyota smiled.

_" What's the time?"_

_"7.34"_

_" I have to meet a new student at the shuttle hanger at 7:56. He's young 14, cadet Chekov. Galia isn't due till this afternoon."_

_" I have heard of Chekov. Like you the academy made an exception to there entrance age due to a high level of competency in his particular area."_

_" Is that why they asked me to show him around? I though it was a bit strange as he's doing some combination of mechanics and astro physics, not linguistics."_

_" That would be a logical assumption."_

_" We haven't had a chance to talk about the Vulcan ship and I have to go in a few minutes."_

_"We shall talk of it at another point."_

_" Dinner sometime this week?"_

_" Yes, E-mail me your free times by the end of the day and I will get back to you." _

She nodded.

_" I look forwards to it."_

_" Do you wish to eat outside the academy grounds?"_

_" That would be nice, but as long as I get to spend time with you I don't care where it is."_

She sighed. _" I have to go."_

_" I will see you soon Nyota."_

She smiled at him and stood up. He watched her walk away in the reflection of the glass.

* * *

It was midday when Spock received a message from Christopher asking him to his apartment for drinks that evening. Spock had not seen his friend since he had gotten back so he had replied in the positive and at 20:00 hours he pressed his hand on the door pad so that the computer would announce his arrival. Chris opened the door with a wide welcoming smile.

"Spock!" He clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder. " Come in. I've got some Tennessee whiskey for you to try."

Spock bowed his head and walked into Chris's apartment. The apartment the captain had taken was the same size of Spock's though the room he used as his personal study was somewhat bigger than Spock's meditation room. Unlike Spock who had few personal items Chris had decorated his apartment with his own furnisher and personal items, gifts presented to him from planets he had helped in struggles against oppression, plague, famine or war. Though Christopher enjoyed his time on earth and times when he could relax, Spock also knew him to be well educated and one of the finest captains in the fleet. A brilliant tactician and when needs be a diplomat. His walls were lined with strange alien objects whose function was sometimes unclear but most of which Spock was now familiar with. Ceremonial weaponry, instruments, ancient texts and depictions of long lost civilizations, and a statue of a talaxian fertility goddess. Each had a story to it, each

Was a sign of appreciation to the captain for services rendered.

Spock took his usual seat on the deep red sofa, a lot softer and yielding than the regulation one in his apartment.

" You look well Christopher." Spock said, noting as he talked that there was a pink jumper hanging from the hook on the back of the door.

" I feel well. The breaks been good for me, you know I took a tour of the Enterprise, Her hull is completed now and most of the engineering sections. The bridge still isn't fitted and the observation decks still waiting for it's reinforced polymer windows. The less said about the medical bay the better but she looks like a ship now and they've got the completion day set at thirteen months, then three months of testing but I can't wait to get out there again Spock, I've been earth bound for too long now." Chris spoke with an enthusiasm that Spock did not know how to answer so he merely nodded.

" Isn't some small part of you eager to get going Spock?"

" I would be lying if I said I wasn't Captain." Chris smiled at the use of his title. " Serving aboard a starship is after all why I enlisted in Starfleet and trained in the academy. "

" So your little sojourn on a science vessel has not changed your mind about being my first officer?"

" Although the experience was an interesting one, I doubt my abilities would be fully utilized onboard such a vessel. Their pure scientific enquiry does not always serve others." Spock looked pointedly around the room and Chris laughed.

" All these years and I thought my little tales had made no impression on you."

" The only impression they have made is in helping me understand the broadness and the reach of an officers duties. My skills would be much better utilized ending a famine on a federation planet than accessing why the inhabitants of one died off over a thousand years ago."

" Well spoken, now will you join me for some whiskey?"

" If you do not mind, I would prefer some tea."

Chris shook his head then headed into his kitchen.

" Tea it is."

He returned two minutes later with a cup for Spock who gratefully took a few sips.

" So tell me, was your young lady as eager to see you as I'm guessing you were to see her?"

Spock remembered the feel of Nyota squirming beneath him and he felt the tips of his ears grow hot.

" That eager, hua?"

" I do not wish to discuss it."

" I know, I know you're a gentleman."

" I try."

" Do you know she got the best marks in her first year exams that the academy has seen in eight years?"

" Of course I am aware of that, I am her teacher."

" If she continues on like that I'll consider her for the enterprise."

" She is the most able student I have had the opportunity to teach; she has a wide knowledge of languages. And I find her to be loyal and dedicated to self-improvement. She would be a asset to any star ship."

" Those aren't the words of a boyfriend."

" No, they are the words of her teacher and your future second in command."

" In that case that's high praise indeed."

" It is deserving praise."

Chris nodded his face thoughtful.

" Perhaps because you didn't visit Vulcan over the summer you'll be looking to go for a few days sometimes soon?"

" No."

" Are you sure? Because the new V51 is out of development and is in the testing phase and I put a good word in for you to do one of the test runs."

" Surly the test runs should be carried out by a pilot."

Chris's eyes flickered to the pink jumper.

" It is but they want a scientist to test the updated science equipment. Just think about it, it goes at warp six so you could leave on a Friday afternoon spend two nights on Vulcan and be back by Sunday night."  
Spock thought about the warmth and familiar contours of his planet, he thought of how at certain times of day the planet was shaded by it's sister planet T'Kuht. He thought about the beautiful reddish sands and the shining dune beetles. He felt a deep longing for the place he thought of as home.

" And you can choose who you take with you. I know the lady who has final say, nobody else would see the relevant clearance documents, and she would be completely discrete."  
Spock raised his eyebrow, he thought of showing Nyota his home planet. He imagined seeing her there under the twin suns and showing her the areas that had inspired him in his youth. He could take her to the valley where he had gone for his Kahs-wan, even though only eight and left to defend himself in the desert for three days he had found the landscape unnervingly beautiful.

He remembered the conversation he had with Nyota that morning. How she still was affected by the attack on her person six months previously, how she still seemed to doubt her own inner strength. Since he had finished phaser training with her he had been considering what other useful skills he could teach her, he had considered various forms of self defense but if he could take her into the desert and teach her how to survive as he had as a child perhaps she would regain a little more of her former confidence. He was aware that Humans found the conditions of Vulcan, with its lower atmosphere, high temperatures and strong gravitational pull harsh. But he would be by her side. He would guide her gently and prove to her that she was in possession of more strength than she gave herself credit for. The more he thought about it the more advantages came to mind, the desert survival skills would help her later in the year when she would undergo all sorts of survival training, having undergone a shorter version of the Kahs-wan she would be given respect by other Vulcan's and her first off world experience would be on his home planet. In the future when she looked back on her first time visiting another planet it would be the places familiar to him that she would remember.

" I think I will take you up on that offer."

" I thought you might."

* * *

Thursday.

The restaurant was as he remembered it except that it now had light blue twinkling lights strung in the courtyards trees. Spock had requested the little alcove that they had sat in ten months before on that fateful night when Spock had first realized he had fallen for Nyota Uhura, and as he had later found out, she had realized she had fallen for him as well. He was not looking to relive that night but to create new memories in an old place. He thought she would appreciate the gesture and as they walked down the quiet little street where the vines was located Nyota looked at him and smiled widely, a smile that stayed with her as they walked into the restaurant and were seated.

" This is lovely Kipanzi"

"You have used that phrase once before, tell me what it Means."

" It means darling or lover."

" I appreciate the affection of the word. I should perhaps endeavor to learn Swahili."

" It is not a language commonly spoken anymore, besides we already have a secret language."

" Secret language?"

" When we speak your dialect nobody can understand what we 're saying to each other. So even in a crowded space we can talk as if we were on our own."

" I still wish to learn it Nyota, not so as to converse privately but because it is your first language and no matter how many languages you come to learn hearing your first language spoken will always bring about the feeling of being at home."

" Is that what it does for you?"

He nodded.

" Before you arrived Nyota I had not felt at home in four years."

" Then I'm glad I learnt the dialect for two reasons."

The waitress arrived at their table to take their orders, Spock decided on a goat's cheese and walnut salad followed by pasta. Nyota ordered the same starter but after asking Spock if he minded ordered a fish dish for her main. They both drunk red wine and listened for a while to the gentle instrumental music that played in the background, it mixed in a strange cocktail with the blubbering sounds of the fountain. Spock found it to be quite a relaxing mix. He raised the question he had been wishing to ask since he had met her at the edge of the academy grounds in the small flowered gardens around memorial pond.

" As I mentioned, I have not been to Vulcan in four years. What are you doing in two weeks? From Friday the 25th to Sunday the 27th?"

Nyota looked at him curiously.

"On Friday's my lectures finish at 2:30pm, the rest of the weekend I'm probably just going to study."

The waitress set their plates before them and Spock nodded their thanks.

" How much time do you require to study? Would two four hour four minute periods suffice?"

" Probably, I mean I can always rearrange things. Spock, the suspense is killing me."

" I have always found that to be one of the worst Human phrases but very well, I wondering if you would wish to go to Vulcan with me? I thought I could teach you some desert survival skills."

Nyota starred at him for a moment and he wondered if he had said something wrong or caused offence in some manner but then she gave her wide smile.

" Visit Vulcan? Really?"

" It would not be a trip tailored for pleasure, although the landscape is aesthetically pleasing the conditions are harsh."

Nyota's smile didn't falter, she spoke excitedly.

" I've never been off planet before, I mean I knew I'd be this year but... I'd love to see your home Spock."

"I was not thinking of going home but to a valley some 50.6 miles from my parents residence."

" I meant home as in Vulcan, I didn't think we'd be visiting your parents."

" I do wish to go and witness the interring of the fifty seven passengers from the shuttle. "

" Okay, definitely not a romantic weekend." Nyota said her voice lightly teasing.

"It is due to take place on the Sunday afternoon in the province bordering that we are visiting. I was hoping you would not mind the side trip."

" I don't, I know you wouldn't ask if it weren't important to you."

Spock nodded slightly. He took a few mouthfuls of salad then looked back up at her.

" Did you wish to be taken on a romantic weekend?"

Nyota smiled and shook her head.

" Let's just see if we can get through a romantic dinner first."

" That sounds like a good plan."

" Spock? " Nyota looked down at her plate of food nervously. " Why did you insist on the bodies being moved back to Vulcan? I know it took a lot of persuading to get the Vulcan high council to agree to it? I read the reports you sent to the academy yesterday, they have copies in the library." She explained When Spock gave her a quizzical look.

" It was a sign of respect. The passengers are not Vulcan's ancestors; they died without contributing to the gene pool. And although I believe in Suraks teachings I also believe in freedom of choice. The only choice the passengers were afforded was to submit to the ways of logic and purge all emotions or to leave the planet that was their home."

" You admire them because you think it was a brave decision."

" The decision to leave ones planet, not fully knowing what kind of life you will lead if you do so could not have been an easy decision to make."

" No, I know it wasn't and I do think it was a brave one Spock, an admirable one."

" It was unfortunate it lead to their demise."

" But the same decision worked out well for other people, lead them to find a new home, another place where they belong perhaps even more so than they did on Vulcan."

" Are you referring to those that left and formed the romulan star empire?"

Nyota gave a small laugh that made his stomach feel as if it were doing strange flippy movements, she hook her head and he started to wonder if her words had in some way been referring to him.

" Yes Spock I guess I was. On a lighter note, what should I pack for this trip?"

" I shall get the tent and equipment from storage. I believe I could replicate you some traditional Vulcan robes, it is important to keep your skin covered from the sun but for the material to be lightweight. I have not seen you in any clothing that would be entirely suitable."

" Okay, I'll just bring some basics then."

" Indeed, remember that in academy survival training you will only have with you what they provide."

" So we're going to be eating Star Fleet protein bars?"

" And as part of the training I will teach you to find and cook deep buried plant roots."

She nodded somewhat hesitantly.

" It'll be good experience." She said.

" Indeed, I am hoping it will help you appreciate your own inner strength, resistance and survival capabilities."

" Is this safe?"

" I would not let any harm come to you."

" No, I mean we're meant to be avoiding being seen together."

" The shuttle is still officially in its testing stages. It is kept in a private hanger outside the academy grounds. The pilot Captain Pike is having sexual relations with has signed the paperwork and he has co-signed it. They will be filed without anybody else seeing it. I believe Pike's partner is under the impression that by taking you I am showing a favoritism that is considered unprofessional but is not technically against academy rules. Therefore put of regard for Pike friendship to me she will avoid mentioning it to anyone."

" Making it appear as if you are doing something a little wrong to cover up that you're doing something very wrong."

" I believe that is the idea."

" Spock I didn't know you could be so sneaky."

" It was captain Pike's doing. He told me after the fact."

" Ah, I see. He's an interesting character isn't he?"

" Indeed."

* * *

Spock hesitated at the door to Nyota's apartment; it had been surprisingly difficult for him to resist kissing her that evening. Although their conversation had been interesting and Nyota had told him a lot more about her home and taught him basic greetings in Swahili every few minutes the candle light would hit her face in a certain way or she'd bring her glass up to linger on her lips for a tantalizing second or she'd just smile in her unguarded and honest manner and he'd be filled with the strong desire to kiss her. At these times their conversation had lulled and they had shared long lingering looks. He wished to kiss her now, just once, just for a moment. But to do so he would have to enter her apartment to avoid being seen and there was a bed in her apartment and he had spent all night suppressing his desire, it was starting to wear a little thin at the edges. One quick kiss, he could probably control himself for a minute. She hesitated at the door.

" Nyota, I.."

" Do you want to come in, just for a minute?"

" Yes, I was thinking… Yes for a moment."

Nyota entered the security code on the door, and stepped in as it opened. Te lights were off so Spock assumed that Galia was out. The moment the door closed he reached out for Nyota running his fingers down her arms in the dark, taking her hand and feeling the familiar sensation of their bond flaring up.

" Lights on." Nyota ordered as he stepped closer. As the lights came on there was a short startled shriek and Spock quickly turned around pushing Nyota behind him. Across the room Galia and a young man who Spock recognized from one of his classes the previous year were sprawled on the bed. Both were starring at him with startled expressions. Seeing that Galia was not wearing anything on the top half of her body Spock immediately turned around facing Nyota who was looking over her shoulder her expression more furious than he had ever seen her. The tips of his ears began to go hot.

" Um.. Hi commander." A nervous sounding male voice said.

" Why are you on my bed?" Nyota said her voice rising above its usual levels. "Your own is like two feet away."

" Two point three." Spock corrected automatically wishing he hadn't when Nyota's hard eyes met his.

" If you do not mind Cadet I think I will be leaving now."

Spock said hurrying out the room careful not to look back at the two unclothed teenagers on Nyota's bed.


	24. Cold nights on Vulcan part 1 of 2

Okay, another chapter broken in half but only as it was getting to be over 10,000 words long. So here's cold nights on Vulcan part one, Part two will be up by Tuesday as it's almost finished already so not a long wait this time.

* * *

Nyota was in the queue for breakfast as Spock collected his porridge and copper supplements from the replicator. She seemed to be talking to a thin blond boy, Spock decided that this must be Cadet Chekov as his lack of muscular definition, size and unfortunately greasy skin pointed to a human a few years younger than the eighteen year olds of the academy. Spock approached the two of them pausing for a moment when he realized that Nyota was teaching the fifteen year old Russian boy.

"Keeptin."

" Captain." She corrected, pronouncing the word slowly and precisely.

"Keeptain."

" Not quite. Cap."

"Keep."

"Cap."

"Kep."

"C." Nyota sounded out the phoneme as she picked up her breakfast tray and selected a cereal and fruit salad.

"C."

" Good Pavlov. Now a."

"E." The boy picked out a bacon sandwich and they turned to walk towards Spock though neither had noticed him standing in their path.

"A." Nyota repeated.

" E."

"Morning Cadets." Spock said when they were a few feet away.

Nyota looked up and smiled, the young Boy stared at him his eyes wondering from the commanders uniform to his face and to his ears.

"Cadet Uhura I trust you will be ready to leave for our trip at 14:30?"

" Yes Commander."

Spock nodded satisfied he would be alone with her within a few hours. He walked away to sit at a table, Nyota and cadet Chekov sat a few tables away still in hearing distance. Spock found himself listening to their conversation his ears picking out the familiar tones of Nyota's voice over the general noise of the mess hall.

" He is wulcan no?"

"Vulcan."

" Yes, Wulcan. It is in ve ears."

" Vulcan, it is in the ears."

" That is what I say."

" What I said."

" But I say it first."

* * *

14:43

Spock had met Nyota at the edge of the academy grounds. They walked together through the streets and took a public transport to the very outskirts of the city where new shuttles were developed and tested. They were kept away from the academy and the students in case of joy riders or on very rare occasions explosions. As they approached the single hanger Spock heard the drilling and clanging of the shuttle hulls being put together. Spock spotted the V51, it had been moved out of the hanger onto a take off pad fifty yards away. It was different from the shuttles currently in use, more streamlined, it had a more slopped pointed front, larger thrusters and was 3.4 feet longer due to the bigger engine. Spock felt the smallest tingle of excitement at the prospect of flying the new model knowing it was the only one of it's kind and only flown by a few others.

" Is that the new shuttle?" Nyota asked.

" The V51, yes."

" It does look different doesn't it?"

" Would you like me to explain the updates to you?"

" Perhaps later, it's a long journey."

A tall man in a mechanics uniform was walking towards them, he wiped a hand across his forehead, in the other he held a PADD.

" Commander Spock?"

" Yes, would you like my identification number?"

" No, just your signature on a final release form then she's all yours."

" Very well." Spock took the PADD carefully read the release form then signed his name at the bottom with the electronic pen. The mechanic smiled at him as he handed the PADD back.

" You've read the Manuel?"

" Yes." Spock confirmed.

" So, once you have the data send it on to us and we'll compare it with our records to know that everything is in order."

" I understand."

" So you're spending the weekend at home?" The mechanics eyes darted across his shoulder at Nyota, a small quizzical expression crossed his face. Spock ignored it, if he acted in any way as if Nyota's presence was unusual then the mechanic was more likely to remember the incident.

" That is correct." Spock answered taking home to mean Vulcan.

" You are lucky to get to spend the entire weekend with this girl." The mechanic said pointing over his shoulder to the shuttle. Spock knew the man was referring to the shuttle but he thought himself very lucky to be spending the entire weekend alone in a deserted place with Nyota as company. If he ever stopped to think about it, to take in the past year and their slowly getting to know each other, the misunderstandings, the way he'd tried to distance himself from her and of course the trauma that she had faced he marvelled at the fact that he could now call her his.

" Luck has nothing to do with it ensign. I am the most qualified to handle her on this expedition."

Spock held Nyota's hand as she climbed up into the shuttle. He could feel her excitement and was glad that he would spend the rest of the weekend tasting that excitement and joy, it pleased him to think he had a hand in making her so happy.  
The ship's insides were smaller than an average shuttle due to the larger engine. There were three seats to the front, the control panel was much the same as those in a normal shuttle a few minute differences. The console with the atmosphere measurer and the planet scanner looked almost completely different, many of the components were the same but the settings and the icons on the screens were different. He had read the manual so he knew precisely what everything was and how everything worked but he still looked forwards to the time when he could push those buttons. The back of the shuttle contained one cot, a small replicator, several storage compartments and a 2-foot by 2-foot decontamination shower. The front and back of the shuttle could be closed off from one another by a thin movable partition.  
Spock sat down at the pilot's chair; he typed the coordinates for Vulcan into the computer so that he could use the autopilot if he wished. He switched on the engines and began running checks as Nyota took the equipment he had brought with him and stored it in the back.

" You may rest or study if you wish Nyota."

" Can I sit with you for take off?"

Spock nodded and she sat in the chair beside him, hands in her lap as he completed the pre-flight checks. He turned on the thrusters, turned them slightly and lifted the shuttle carefully off the ground then took the handle and as Chris would say 'punched it'. They were out of earth atmosphere within 1.02 minutes, Spock made a note of the turbulence they hit as they exited the atmosphere, and the slight shudder of the shuttle could and should be corrected. Once out of atmosphere Spock turned the autopilot on and going to kneel by Nyota pointed out to her what all the various instruments were. She was as ever a patient and avid student, he sat her in the pilots chair and leaned over her to access the engine controls, half concentrating on the buttons half on the scent and the warmth coming of the skin of her neck.

" We have now increased to warp four." He whispered giving into his desire for a moment to press his lips to the warm soft curve of her neck. He heard the sharp intake of her breath.

"Warp four is the top speed of most shuttles isn't it?"

" Indeed. Increasing to warp five."

He kissed the sweetness of her neck one more time and then put his nose to her skin and inhaled deeply, she must have showered before coming out as that soft and sharp soapy raspberry scent was still strong under the mask of the floral perfume she wore, he had to admit he was starting to like it.

"I'll see how she handles before going to warp six, it may set us back half an hour but as this is a new engine caution is logical."

Nyota turned in her seat to look at him.

" Indeed." She said in a teasing tone raising a solitary eyebrow. Her hands reached around and rested on his cheek encouraging him to come to her, he leaned forwards and kissed her passionately.

" You're starting to adopt some of the human inaccuracies you always point out into your own speech." She said pulling away.

" Is that so?" Spock asked curiously, he knew that he had stopped speaking as formally as when he first arrived at the academy.

" You just called the shuttle a she." Nyota said. Spock thought about it, he had.

"Fascinating. It maybe an unconscious adaptation to fit into the environment of the academy."

She smiled and kissed him again. Spock reached over, he pressed a few buttons.

" Autopilot on." The feminine voice of the computer announced. He moved around to sit before her, he pulled her off the chair onto his lap wrapping his fingers around hers and placing gentle kisses on her cheeks and down her neck.

* * *

19:23

Spock heard Nyota moving in the back of the shuttle and the partition was pulled back.

" How are your readings coming?" Spock asked. He turned around. He had thought that he was used to the sight of Nyota and could no longer be stunned by the sight of her, apparently he had thought wrong. Nyota had changed into the long flowing traditional Vulcan robes. He had chosen her a set in turquoise and had chosen a cut that was preferable to young females. There was a tight fitting top garment and lose fitting trousers underneath. Over the top was a flowing transparent top dress. He wondered of he had got the size wrong; the tank top like garment was exceedingly tight. The colour suited her beautifully and the way the material seemed to hide her form yet show it at the same time was extremely enticing.

" I'm finished for now." Nyota answered, the computerised voice spoke at the same time.

" Now in orbit of Vulcan."

Spock took a deep breath and tore his unwilling eyes away from Nyota to press a few buttons to start up the data collection sequence he had been programming.

" It seems you finished at a fortuitous time. I am signalling border control for permission to enter Vulcan space. You will have a good view from this distance of Vulcan and it's sister planet in the distance." He pulled the handle steadily back. " Dropping out of warp. View screen on." Spock said.

The screen flickered from grey to black for a moment and then the familiar form of Vulcan appeared, the bright oranges and deep reds small areas of water and mountain ranges that appeared as small lines of the surface. Spock felt his stomach twist and he felt slightly sick. He realized how much he had missed his home now that he saw it. He heard Nyota gasp and turned to see her wide eyes and lips slightly parted.

" Spock, it's beautiful."

" As a child whenever I would be returning from earth with my parents after conferences or treaty signings I always felt a slight awe at this sight."

She smiled down at him. " Welcome home Spock."

* * *

19:51  
Spock closed his eyes as he stepped out onto the compact desert sand. He had an overwhelming sense of being at home. The air was stiflingly hot and after so long on earth it took him a moment to adjust to the higher gravity. It made him feel heavier and he was glad for the thin robes he had changed into. He turned around to watch Nyota as she started down the steps. She paused and looked around taking in the endless sand with the mountains on the horizon and scraggily bushes dotted every few meters. He reached up for her hand and helped her down the steps.

" Welcome to Vulcan. It may take you some time to get used to the increased gravity."

" And the heat." She said with a smile.

Spock nodded although it was hard to quantify heat, simply put Vulcan was hotter than Africa.

" We have water and food for two days, that being the case what would you say our first priority is?"

" Are there predators?"

" There are wild Sehlat in this area."

" Okay, I would say one of us should find something that burns for a fire and the other should put up the tent."

" That would be a good course of action. As some of the plants in this area are poisonous I shall collect firewood."

Nyota nodded, Spock watched as she climbed back into the shuttle to collect the tent. Spock began digging out a fire pit, looking up occasionally to watch Nyota as she read the instructions to the pop up tent. The compact five-inch by six-inch package would open up into a full two men tent if she pulled the little tag. He took the little knife he had put into the folds of his robes and started out to cut down some of the scraggily bushes. As he cut the smaller branches to reach the thick stem he heard a little pop and turned to see Nyota stood looking down at the tent. He gave her an approving little nod, but was surprised to see her blush in return.

" You could have told me all I needed to do was pull the string." She shouted over the couple of meters that separated them.

" Figuring thing's out for yourself is a more effective learning method than being told. " She shot him a rather annoyed look. " You will need to secure it with the lines in case of high winds and we will need the fur lined sleeping bags as the temperature drops to below freezing at night."

He thought he could hear some angry muttering as he continued to collect wood but was too far away to make out the words. Five minutes later Spock was piling up the branches of one bush and looking for another, he looked over at the sun laying low on the horizon and worked out they had another 64 minutes before the sun set and another half an hour after that before the temperature dropped to a level where hypothermia could set in. He looked at Nyota as she struggled to hammer the pins into the baked ground to secure the tent. A gleam of sweat was visible on her skin and her breath seemed a little laboured. He went over to her; she didn't look up until he stroked the hand that was holding the hammer. Her wide amber eyes looked up at him.

" Go rest in the shade for five minutes."

" You wouldn't be going easy on me for some reason would you Spock?"

" I do not know to what you are referring cadet." He replied earning a smile thrown over her shoulder at him as she went to sit for a moment in the tent. Spock made light work of the tent pegs, he remembered how as a child he had always been weak in comparison to other Vulcan's, then going to Earth he had been stronger than others and he had trained hard to maintain his strength in the low gravity. He stopped himself from thinking; it seemed even without other Vulcan's around returning to this planet made him feel inadequate. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder he had Not heard Nyota approaching.

" You look slightly worried."

" I am not worried. I was thinking."

" What about?"

" How weak I am considered here."

" I feel weak here to, that's just the thin atmosphere though, isn't it?"

" Indeed." He brushed his fingers over hers, she did not see him as weak, she never looked down at him or ever made him feel like half a Vulcan, half a human, half a man.

" I am going to collect more branches. Would you like me to teach you which are poisonous, which are edible and which burn most effectively?"

"They all look the same."

"There are eight different bushes in view Nyota, though all share common traits they can be differentiated once you know how."

" Show me then."

As Spock cut away at branches Nyota knelt beside him, her leg sometimes brushing up against his as she reached out to feel the waxy texture of a leaf or to hold a thorny branch away as he cut at a stem. She listened to him as he described the differences between the bushes and how each one was specially adapted to survive the harsh environment. He told her of how he had cut his hands on one of the bushes when he was eight and had sucked the poison out but that night he had ran a fever and discovered that unlike full Vulcan's he had the ability to vomit. Nyota had laughed when he had said it had not been a pleasant discovery to make and ran her fingers over the slight green faded scar the poisonous thorn had left on his palm.  
They had built the fire then taken a break to sip water and eat protein bars as they watched the sunset.

" Thank you for sharing this with me Spock."

" As you said, it is not exactly a romantic weekend."

She stared out to the horizon, the last of the orange light falling across her face.

" It's just romantic enough."

Spock reached for his phaser, hidden like his knife on a belt below his garments. He took the safety off and shot a quick burst setting fire to the wood they had piled up in the pit. Spock stared at it crackling and smoking and then settling down into a steady blaze after ninety seconds.

" Isn't it still a little too hot for that?" Nyota asked puzzled.

" Now that the suns have set the temperature will drop rapidly and the wild sehlat will start to come out."

Nyota shifted slightly next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. It was comfortable to have her against him.

" The fire will keep them away, won't it?"

" Yes, they fear the fire."

" It is kind of a shame; I would like to see one. Is there any other life forms were likely to see?"

" There is a desert bird, a scavenger like the vultures on earth, you may see them circling, in the sky they are a deep red but when on the ground eating they blend with the sand and become almost invisible." Spock shuddered slightly and knew that the change in temperature was already occurring.

" Nyota did you bring the night robes from the shuttle?"

" No I don't think so." She answered sleepily.

" Excuse me." Spock said gently pushing her away from him. He walked the two meters away from the camp fire to where the shuttle was parked and pressed the pad to open the door, he climbed the stairs and checked the storage bay finding the thick grey woollen robes that he had had made to the same style as Nyota's day ones. They were lined in red silk with layers of cotton in-between that and the wool, they were not standard issue but they were similar to those worn at night on Vulcan just with material common on Earth, he thought that they would serve them well but he had packed a small heater in case they didn't. Although he was sure it would be a lot more comfortable to sleep in the shuttle it would void the purpose of the trip, he would only resort to using the heater or moving Nyota into the shuttle if hypothermia seemed likely or if there was a sandstorm.

The sky was just starting to darken as he exited the shuttle with the new bundle of clothes. Nyota had moved closer to the fire, her arms wrapped round her. She was starting to feel the cold just as he was, soon the air would become icy, their breath would steam in front of their faces and any bare skin would feel as if it were being pricked by tiny needles, home sweet home.

* * *

22:02

Spock hesitated he could hear Nyota's teeth chattering together and when he had turned to look at her in the shadowy light caused by the fire outside the tent he could see her visibly tremberling. Finally it was more than he could bear.

"Nyota I hope you don't take this the wrong way but perhaps you should take your clothes off and join me in my sleeping bag?"

She turned and looked over at him, her lips pursed tightly to stop her teeth from chattering.

" You mean to conserve body heat?" She asked her voice breaking with the cold.

" Yes. You do not have to, but my higher body temperature will keep you warm."

She reached down and tried to grip the zipper of the sleeping bag, he watched as her numb fingers missed the zip. Spock's hands made quick work of his own zipper and he rolled himself out of the sleeping bag and gently took Nyota's hands in his. He lifted them up to his mouth and gently blew hot air on them then rubbed his hands up and down hers. Finally he took her icy fingertips and gently sucked each into his mouth. Nyota's eyes never left his.

" Are your fingers less numb now?" Spock asked. Nyota swallowed it took her several seconds to answer.

"Yes."

Spock unzipped the bag Nyota struggled to her feet. She stood a foot away from him, Spock considered turning around giving her some privacy but after watching Nyota's violent trembling he doubted she would be able to remove her garments before her body temperature dropped further. He stepped towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Nyota, may I.."

She nodded quickly. His hands reached down to her waist undoing the knotted belt there. He separated the thick woollen robes revealing her flat stomach and tops of her plump breasts plunging into a bright red bra, the feathery lace half concealing half revealing that secret flesh. His hands ran over her shoulders again brushing the garment off of her and onto the floor. A small part of him itched to pick it up and fold it but he couldn't stand Nyota's trembling, knowing that Nyota was uncomfortable was in some strange way worse than his own discomfort. His eyes followed his hands down to her waist brushing momentarily the firmness of her stomach muscles and coming to the waistband of the trousers, he removed them quickly and with only the slightest heating of the top of his ears.

" Get into my sleeping bag Nyota, I will join you momentarily."

Spock turned his back to her, his ears picking up the rustling of material as she climbed into the fur-lined bag. Spock removed his clothes quickly flinching as the cold air hit him. He hesitated as he was about to turn round, Nyota had seen him this exposed before, his swimming trunks were almost as revealing as his current underclothes. But they had not been together then, nothing more than a teacher and student meeting at the academy pool, admittedly they had at that time become a little bit too relaxed in each others presence but they had not been paired then, not linked romantically or telepathically. He took a deep breath and silently muttered a Vulcan meditation mantra, the familiar word had there desired effect in calming him.

"Spock, it's cold." Nyota voice was timid and a little uneven as her body shook.

Spock's misgivings disappeared, she who was precious to him was uncomfortable and it was his duty to keep her content and comfortable. He turned, noting the slight blush from Nyota. He kneeled beside the sleeping bag, brushing Nyota's fingers to send her his calming influence through their link. He pulled the material open and as gracefully as possible shuffled into the bag. Knowing the sleeping bag was not intended for two people Spock pushed himself close to Nyota his arms wrapping around her waist. He was pleased when she responded by pushing herself closer up to him, wrapping her legs one over one between his and moulding that beautiful smooth stomach he had only glimpsed for an instant to his. He twitched slightly as her icy fingers rested on his chest and her cold nose nuzzled his neck as she came to rest her head lightly on his shoulder.

"You're so warm." She sighed happily.

"I wish I could say the same Nyota but unfortunately it is like bedding with an icicle." Spock tried to keep his tone light to let her know he was trying to joke; he liked having her against him, to feel so much of her. So much smooth soft skin and the movement of her body in it's natural rhythms the heartbeat and the inhale and exhale that moved her chest against his, feeling through their bond her appreciation and sleepy contentment and most of all knowing at she was as glad to be with him as he was to be with her.  
She gave a little giggle that made his heart skip a beat. He tightened his grip on her waist and turned to lie on his back taking her with him, she lied half on top of him so that his body was acting as a cushion for her. He reached down and zipped up the bag so that it held them tightly together.

"If it weren't so cold I think I would enjoy this. "

" Sleep well Nyota."

" Goodnight Spokh."

* * *

He was looking at himself, yet somehow it was not himself, he did not think he was quite as tall, did not think his eyes were quite as big or his shoulders quite as wide but despite the minute difference he was clearly facing himself. He, both of Himself were in one of the academies lecture halls and he was asking himself out and he was ecstatic to be going on a date with the other him. Then he was in a student apartment in one of the tiny bathrooms, he knew from the various objects that it was Nyota's apartment. Looking across at him was Nyota herself reflected in the mirror carefully applying a red lipstick. He bent his head around the door and saw Galia sat on the bed rolling a pair of stockings up her leg.

" Do you think this is too much?" He heard Nyota's voice calling. Galia turned to look at Him, she was smirking.

" Depends."

"Depends on what?" He heard Nyota's voice again.

" If you're still denying that you fancy the pant's of Mr. Vulcan then it's too much, if you've accepted you want to shag his brains out then it's just about right."

"Lia! Do you always have to be so crude?"

" So, you're not denying it then."

" No I'm not denying it." The disembodied voice gave a short laugh.

He was in a rush, he had forgotten all about the book, he wanted to get to Spock's at the right time, knew he despised lateness but if he handed the library book back late Mrs. Huddlie would be annoyed at him and she was already annoyed at him for requesting books from the stacks. He took a short cut through the freedom gardens knowing that there was usually couples there not wanting to be disturbed or security trainees getting drunk but he hoped because it was valentines and wasn't all that late there wouldn't be anyone there tonight. Relief, the garden is empty no losers going to harass him, but he had the oddest feeling, as if he was being watched, he thought he heard something. He slowed down, stopped. A hand came out of nowhere, closed around his mouth, he panicked scared, couldn't think, attack, run. **_Spokh!_**

He awoke panting he started as if to sit up but felt a heavy weight against him, it was dark, truly dark and cold, something was surrounding him. He chastised himself for his panic and made himself take in his surroundings more clearly and as his newly awoken mind came awake he knew he was back on Vulcan and he was holding Nyota and their telepathic link had remained open whilst they slept, made powerful by their skin to skin contact and he had experienced Nyota's dream. He also knew in that moment that Nyota had woken at the same time as he had and was struggling against him having not yet realized herself where she was.

" Nyota." His hand reached up to stroke through her hair.

"Nyota you are safe, I am here."

" Spock?" Her voice was shaky and as he moved his fingers down her cheek he felt a cold sheen of sweat there.

" Yes, you were dreaming Nyota. The events of your dream happened a number of months ago; you do not have to fear them now. You are on Vulcan, you are safe with me."

He felt her body relax against him, her head came to rest back against his chest the silky strands of her hair ticker ling his skin. He rubbed his hands soothingly up and down her bare back for a few minutes sensing as she became calmer that she was somehow embarrassed.

" Are you affected by these dreams often Nyota?"

Her muscles tensed, he waited patiently for he reply.

" No so often anymore."

Spock nodded he knew she did not wish to be questioned further and he wouldn't tonight. He placed a kiss to her forehead and was a little surprised when she tilted her head up and kissed him deeply. As her tongue played against his she worked her arm out from the restraining sleeping bag to reach up and work her finger through his hair as she often did.

**_I just want to forget. _**

**_To forget is not to heal Nyota._**

She pulled away from him with a sigh.

" No, I know."

" It'll come in time."

She gave a sad smile.

" Time just isn't going fast enough."

* * *

As always reviews are smiled upon.


	25. Cold Nights On Vulcan part 2 of 3

Cold nights on Vulcan part 2

So, here we go, Cold Nights on Vulcan parts 2 and 3. (I'd say look i've uploaded two chapters in one day but they were meant to be one chapter and I just did them in three parts as I think people would get bored of reading such a long chapter).

I want to take a moment to say thanks to all those who have taken the time to review, thank you for your words of encouragement they are truly appreciated and special thanks to Babita and QTFics, your reviews always make me smile.

* * *

Saturday 26th September.

6:14 am.

It is a thing of beauty to wake up and find yourself being kissed by your partner. Spock's arms had wrapped around Nyota before his eyes had even opened as he took in the wonderful feel of cool bare flesh against his own, only interrupted by material at two points. Nyota pulled away as he opened his eyes.

" I was wondering how to wake you, I've never seen you sleeping before." She whispered running her fingers through his hair.

" I only require four hours sleep, I spent most of the night awake in case you had bad dreams again."

" That's sweet." She moved up to kiss him again. " I woke up because it's starting to get hot in here again."

" Yes, the sun is starting to rise. It is best if we get up now and start our journey so we can arrive at our destination by mid-day. Then we can take shelter against the worst of the heat."

He Could sense her smile.

" Where is our destination?"

" It is in the mountains, an ancient holy place where our ancestors used to hold ceremonies."

" The mountains seem so far from here."

" The desert conditions create illusions, what seems far is actually near and at time that which appears near is actually very far. I have accounted for your pace and rest times Nyota, we will reach there in 5.34 hours." Spock found the zipper and undid the sleeping bag allowing them more room.

" How long will we have at this holy place if we need to get back here before dark?"

" Allowing for the time it'll take to set up camp four hours."

" Just four hours?"

" Yes." " Not 3.98 or 4.01?"

" Are you teasing me again?"

" A little." Spock rolled onto of Nyota causing her to giggle, he was careful to keep his body weight off of her as he found her hands and pinned them above her head.

" Cadet, it is a sign of disrespect to tease your superior officer."

He bent his head down to kiss her, she responded enthusiastically.

" What's the punishment for such insubordination Commander?"

Spock cocked his head to one side and looked at her puzzled a to why she would wish to be punished.

" There is no punishment Nyota."

She looked up at him and giggled then freed her hands and reached them upwards to frame his face.

" I was being playful Spock."

" It is playful to wish for punishment?"

" Not in to spanking, I will add that to my little book on facts about Spock."

" If you truly have such a book please guard it well I would not wish for others at the academy to know my preferences on such matters. Secondly, what is spanking?"

She gave a short laugh.

" Firstly, the book is all in my mind. Secondly."

Spock felt a sharp stinging slap to his left buttock. Nyota sat up and crawled on hands and knees out of the tent. The sky had lightened considerably as they had talked. He watched the swaying of her butt as she went thinking how he would be glad to have come on this trip with her just for the freedom of the last few minutes, and to see her crawling with her rear end stuck in the air out of their tent.

Spock began to get undressed he had just taken off his robe when Nyota's panicked whisper sent a shiver of fear down his spine.

" Spock!" She sounded scared.

He hurried out of the tent. Nyota a few feet away from him, she was knelt beside the fire as if she had been trying to stir it. She was staring out across the desert. Spock looked over her shoulder what had frightened her was apparent, twenty meters away a sehlat was stood watching them as intently as they were watching it. Spock took slow steady steps over to Nyota, he bent down next to her.

" There's a bear." Nyota said quietly.

" It's a Sehlat Nyota, I thought you wanted to see one."

" Is it going to eat us?"

" It's not likely."

" How unlikely is not likely?"

" She will not attack unless she feels threatened."

**_Go Friend, We do not mean you or your young any harm._**

The Sehlat stared at him for another moment and then turned and walked away.

" It's actually quite beautiful."

" You should drink and eat before we leave."

" Yes okay."

* * *

10:03am

They sat on the hot desert sand. Nyota gave a dissatisfied little huff as she flung herself onto the floor, Spock reached into his bag and handed her a bottle of water, and he took a small sip from his own.

" How are you?"

" Walking so much difficult here than on Earth."

" Yes, It is due to.."

" I know."

He gave a small smile.

" I know why Vulcan's do not say when things are beautiful."

" You do?"

" It is because they are always so surrounded by beauty they lose appreciation for it."

" You think it's beautiful here?"

" yes."

" That would be a sad fate indeed Nyota. But I do not think it is correct, Vulcan's do dedicate some of their time to arts and music."

" Then why is it?"

" Perhaps it is because it is a somewhat emotional word, and avoided so as it does not rise emotions in us. " He watched her take several more sups of water.

" Are you ready to continue?"

She looked down and shook her head giving a small laugh.

" Next time your taking me to Paris." She said standing up.

" If you want there to be another time by the end of the day then I'll take you to Paris."

" I'll hold you to that."

* * *

11:14

The mountains loomed over them, Spock figured that they would be at the foot within twenty minutes, which was good as the heat of the day was burning his skin despite the heavy layers of sunscreen. He kept to Nyota's pace, he looked over at her and she gave a tired smile.

" Almost there."

" Indeed." He stared up at the ledge built into the side of the mountain. Along the ledge were twenty-foot statues made of red granite that caught the sun and glittered in stark contrast to the plain yellow rock of the area. He glanced across at Nyota again, she had been keeping her tired eyes pointed to the floor to protect them from the glaring sun. He would wait till they were closer before pointing them out to her.

Five minutes later he decided they were close enough, he stopped and took Nyota's arm. She looked up at him.

" We're almost there, I can manage." Nyota said thinking he was going to tell her to stop.

" I know Nyota, I just wanted to show you something." He pointed up at the ledge. Nyota shaded her eyes with her hand and looked up.

" Statues?" She asked puzzled. " Are they of gods?"

" No. They are images of the greatest philosophers in history. In the middle is Surak, and the one on the furthest left is Spokh, my name sake."  
Nyota gave a wide smile.

" You're named after a philosopher?"

" Yes."

" It's suitable."

" Thank you Nyota, that is a great compliment."

She laughed.

" So these are what we've come to see?"

" Not quite." He pointed to the side of the mountain. Nyota stared for a moment looking confused and then her eyes widened in realization.

" Is that a cave?"

" Yes, we can take shelter from the sun there."

She nodded and they increased their pace, desperate to get out of the burning sun.

As they reached the dark cave Spock reached into his backpack, he had prepared for the journey by packing two torches, he handed one to Nyota and she thanked him as she peered into the cave a little uncertainly. He turned the torch on and walked a few meters into the entrance relishing the coolness of the shade of the cave.

" We can rest here." Spock said.

" Okay." Nyota agreed.

He knelt down and searched through his pack finding two protein bars and handing her one. She sat on the floor of the cave and bit into the bar. He knelt beside her.

" So, these caves are sacred?" She asked.

" This is as close to a sacred place as the logic of Vulcan's will allow."

" Is that because of the statues?"

" Partly."

" Explain Spock." She said with a short laugh. " You're being strangely withholding, you usually can't wait to teach me about anything."

" I will show you when you have finished eating and are fully rested."

He knew that she had begun eating faster and surely enough within two minutes she was holding out the empty crumpled foil wrapper of the protein bar. When he took it to throw back into his bag she jumped to her feet.

" Come on." She urged him excitedly.

" You must promise to rest when we reach he oval chamber."

" I promise Spock. Now come on, and put your eyebrows down."

"How did you know…" He asked as her torch was pointed down the narrow corridor of the tunnel and not on his face.

" Because I know you. This looks as if it's been made." She ran her fingers over the jagged walls where tool marks were apparent.

" Not by phasers."

" Rough stone tools." Spock informed her.

" It must have taken ages."

" It is not possible to give an exact time but it would have taken years."

He reached forwards and took her by the hand and they made their way through the swerving uneven tunnel deeper into the mountain. Nyota stumbled against him and he brought her closer to him wrapping his hand around her waist.

" How far to the oval room?"

" Oval chamber, it's ne hundred and two point 3 feet in."

They continued for another seven minutes making slow steps through the tunnel so as not to fall, then the tunnel got wider and finally he saw space in front of them and they stepped out into the large domed oval chamber that had been cut into the rock. The room was five meters by seven meters wide and ten meters high. He pressed a few buttons on his torch widening the beam so they could see the entirety of the room. Nyota gasped as the wide beam lightened the walls of the cave revealing the simple and ancient paintings that covered every inch of the walls.

He watched her as she stepped away from him, walking to the other side of the room and reaching her hand out as if about to touch the stonewalls and then stopping herself. He waited for her to speak but she quietly walked the perimeter of the chamber. Finally after four minutes and thirteen seconds she turned to him.

" It's beautiful."

"Yes."

Her eyes flickered up to the roof that was painted with a deep blue pigment and little yellow dots depicting the correct positions of the stars.

" It's old." She said.

" Over 20,000 years."

" It's just like the cave painting's on earth."

" Yes, our races were developing in much the same way at that period." He stepped towards her and took her hand and led her across the room to a section of the painting he had seen many years ago. It depicted a small family group dressed in furs and sat around a fire, the male held the woman's hand as they watched a small child playing with a wooden carving of a Sehlat. Nyota reached out her hand again hesitating an inch away from the wall. She looked at him and he nodded, with a single finger she touched the little picture stroking along the man's rounded ears.

" Vulcan's started developing more sensitive hearing between eighteen and fifteen thousand years ago." He explained.

" And the points developed with that." She said, he nodded.

He squeezed her hand and got him to follow her a few more meters around the edge where the picture depicted a life-sized naked Vulcan woman, the skin painted a dark brown, the ears rounded, she was tall and long limbed, with slight curves, wide dark eyes, and long flowing black hair.

" I didn't think that there were any dark skinned Vulcan's in this area."

Spock ran his hands over the tiny stick figures next to it.

" These tell her story, her name meant flower and she travelled thousands of mile over the ocean on a small boat with a male she was related to. She is the first immigrant in Vulcan history, when she arrived here the villagers welcomed her as a god, they worshipped her as the ideal of beauty. She taught the people about herbs to add to their food and how to make the pigments that are on these walls. She played a flute made out of the hollow roots of a cactus and danced naked around the fire. The last two pictures depict her death, with the entire village mourning and them finding this cave to lay her to rest in and began painting."

" They did all this for her."

" She brought them the arts and beauty and they worshipped her."

She turned to him and impulsively kissed him, he enjoyed the soft movements of her lips against his and pulled her closer to him relishing the feeling.

**_She looks like you, I can understand why they worshipped her. _**

Nyota pulled away from him, her eyes shining in the dim light. She smiled wordlessly and took his hand to lead him over to another of the pictures. She pointed up to one of a sun dweller with three little people stood underneath it.

" Is that a giant dragonfly?"

" It is a sun dweller."

" Why have they coloured the wings like that?" She said referring to the bright purples, greens and blues depicted.

" I believe they were transparent but had many facets and reflexes multicoloured light when the sun hit them. Your earrings are made out of the fossilised wings although the fossilisation process have made them opaque you can still see how that would work."

Nyota's hand went up to brush her earrings, her mouth open slightly as she starred at the wall painting.

" When the sun dwellers were beginning to die out there was a saying that when you saw one it meant a change was coming in your life."

" And when you gave them to me, were you hoping that a change would happen in my life."

"A part of me was, but I believed you would like them."

She turned to him and quicker than he could react she threw herself into his arms and kissed his surprised mouth again, with an intensity that left him breathless. The kiss lasted a lifetime but yet not long enough, when they pulled away from each other panting and flushed Spock noticed that her eyes were red with unshed tears. He felt his sharp intake of breath and unconsciously placed his hand on her cheek. She shook her head smiling widely.

" I'm happy Spock."

Spock felt his eyebrow twitch. He wondered if she was lying to him, people didn't usually cry when happy.

"Then why do you appear as if you are about to cry?"

" It's just you do something wonderful and then you don't even tell me about it till months later.. and you bring me here to this wonderful place, and you hold me when I have nightmares and you're quiet and sweet and you're just so amazing. I Love you Spock."

Spock felt as if his heart were trying to punch it's way out of his body., it was hammering so hard at her words, at the sincerity in her eyes and the gentle breathlessness of her words.

" You don't have to say anything Spock, just know that I do."

Spock was thankful at these words he was struggling with the emotions the words arose in him. He did not feel he could say the words in return, it was not that he did not feel it. Anything but he fully expected Nyota to be his life mate. It was that expressing such emotions was difficult for him, there was only one other person he loved and that was his mother and he had never told her, not in twenty-four year. He had wanted to but had found it almost impossible, the word love was rarely muttered on Vulcan, he had only heard his mother say it and as a child whenever she had said he loved him or tried to kiss him or hug him even when not in public he had felt a kind of embarrassment. Now here with Nyota, the woman he loved, the woman he adored and wanted to spend his life with, he felt as if it were impossible to talk and a slight shadow of embarrassment that he cursed himself for. He stared into her eyes and knew it was true she wasn't expecting the same response. He reached for her, pulled her into his arms and held her hoping that his inability to express himself would not prevent him from holding her everyday for the rest of their lives.


	26. Cold nights on Vulcan part 3 of 3

Rated M for scenes of a sexual nature.

It's a day late but i've added a l;ittle dream scene so i'm sure you'll forgive me.

* * *

Saturday 26th September 15:14

They exited the cave hand in hand after several hours of sitting and exploring the cave and all the stories of ancient Vulcan life it told, of war and love and jealousy. Spock felt as if he had not actually been in the cave though he had been explaining some of the pictures to Nyota, he felt somewhat disconnected from the planet he was on. Nyota loved him and it was as if his eyes and mind didn't have room for anything other than her. Every moment they had spent in the cave if he was not talking to her he would brush his fingers on her, wrap his arms around her waist or kiss her neck. He wanted to be with her in some way every moment, it was a glorious day, a perfect day, and one that he would remember for the rest of his life.

As they stepped out into the burning sun Spock felt the hairs on his arm stand on end, he looked around trying to figure out what was wrong, then he felt it, the tiniest whisper of a breeze. He looked down at Nyota, who gave him a carefree little smile.

" Guess we'd better get going then." She said.

" Yes." He agreed, he would not worry her at this moment, his fear might be unfounded.

* * *

18:37.

She was exhausted, he knew this but they must carry on walking. It was not even the heat or the darkness and the cold that it would bring with it that was worrying him anymore. That was nothing compared to what was coming on the now steady breeze. He kept scanning the horizon as she sat and drank from her third bottle of water that day. He sensed that she knew he was concerned, she gave a worried little frown when she had patted the ground beside her and he had shook his head refusing to sit with her.

" We must continue."

" What is it Spock?" She asked worried.

" The wind."

" That little breeze?" She asked.

" It has been steadily increasing since we came out the cave."

She nodded and got to her feet.

* * *

20: 45

The shuttle was in sight, they had made good time but Nyota had begun to slow, he felt her tiredness and was sorry that he had not chosen to set up camp nearer to the cave. It had seemed like a good idea to show her the levels of her endurance and the chances of bad weather had been too slim to dissuade him. But of course one in a million chances have to happen one in a million times, and this was only a one in three hundred forty- five point six chance so it was bound to happen really. He turned and saw a wall of sand a meter high coming behind them, within minutes they would be engulfed. He grabbed Nyota's arm and pulled her towards him, bent, hooked his arm under her knees and the other one around her back and lifted her into his arms cradling her Body to him as he started to run towards the shuttle knowing they would not make it in time. As he ran Nyota ripped the sleeves from her dress, she reached up and tied the transparent blue material around his eyes, he could just make out shapes through it but if he had to close his second eyelids then he would be completely blind. Nyota did the same to herself. The sand hit him as they were three meters away from the shuttle. It tore at their exposed skin and roared in their ears, it blocked out all light and Spock could only see a few inches in front of his face. He staggered as he fought to stay on his feet and move in the direction of the now unseen shuttle. The three meters seemed like three miles and although it only took a matter of minutes to reach the shuttle the knowledge that the abrasive sand could tear flesh from bone made those minutes seem impossibly long. Finally his foot bang against something and he heard the clang of metal and saw a dark shape looming in front of him."

"PUT ME DOWN!" Nyota shouted over the wind.

" NO!"

" WE NEED TO FIND THE DOOR PAD, BE LOGICAL SPOCK!"

Spock put her down, it was true that they would not be able to open the door whilst she was in his arms but he feared that if he put her down he would loose her to the sand. He placed his hands on the metal hull shifting around it, inch by slow inch, Nyota at his side.

" I FOUND IT." She shouted after another long minute and there was the sound of turning gears and a small ray of light that grew bigger as the stairs descended.

Spock grabbed for Nyota's hand and together they moved toward the light source two feet away. As the stairs touched the ground Spock pushed Nyota in front of him and she clambered on hands and knees up the stairs and into the safety of the shuttle. Spock followed her the wind whipping at his cloak as he went, inside the wind still blew at them and the sand rushed in to the shuttle hitting the far wall and falling into little piles there. Spock reached for the controls tapping blindly at them till the shuttle seemed to understand his meaning and the door began to close, finally shielding them from the storm. Ê He pulled the material from his eyes, turned to Nyota looking her up and down to determine if she was hurt. She reached up and undid her own mask, letting it fall to the floor. Her arms were covered with abrasions where tiny jagged rocks had struck her and torn at her bare skin. She looked over at him her eyes worried and then she gave a wild laugh bending over double as if she could not control the outburst. Alarmed Spock stepped towards her and took her in his arms holding her tightly and laying his head against her sand filled hair.

" I do not see what is humorous."

She pushed against his chest a little and looked up at him.

" It's relief Spock, I am relieving the tension." She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him soundly. Spock broke it quickly.

" You have not lost control of your senses due to fear then?" Spock asked, just to make sure. She gave another small laugh.

" No Spock. I wasn't all that scared." She gave him another sweet kiss. " I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me."

Spock felt his lips twitch upwards at the faith she had in him. He pulled away from her and held her at arms length, he brushed his hands over her shoulders, hearing the sand there fall to the ground like rain. He ran his hands over the top of her head and then lightly over her chest, eliciting a sharp gasp from her.

" I must tend your wounds." He said. " We must keep the sand out of them." He untied the belt at her waist.

" I've got this." She said, he nodded and went to look in one of the storage compartments for the med kit. He found it and replicated a bowl of warm water and a cup off ice-cold water as Nyota pulled the light dress over the top of her head. He turned when he heard her giggle.

" Tension?" He asked happy to see her smiling.

" No, I was just imagining the look on that mechanics face when he sees what we've done to his 'girl'."

Spock looked around at the sand covering the floor of the shuttle and the small scratches on the paint of the steps that could be seen from in there.

" He will not be amused."

" You can say that again."

" Once will suffice.

He gestured to the front of the shuttle and Nyota nodded and walked through to sit in the pilot's chair. Spock, carrying the bowl of water and med-kit knelt before her. He gently took her left wrist in his hand and turned her arm this way and that so he could see all the little scraps, none of them were deep but they were all dirt from the sand. He opened the med-kit and took out some cotton wool, he dipped it in the warm water.

" Close your eyes."

Nyota obeyed him and he gently started to wash the dirt from around her eyes then moved to her whole face. She smiled softly as he worked, face clean he got some fresh cotton wool to start cleaning the wounds.

" You may open your eyes now Nyota."

She did. He handed her the cup of cold water and she began to drink. He took her arm again, Nyota gave a sharp pained intake of breath as he started to brush warm water into her broken skin removing the little pieces of dirt but she didn't pull away. When he finished cleaning one arm he reached for the skin replicator and ran it up and down over her arm until all the scratches were gone.

" Thank you Spock." She said gently.

Spock nodded.

" Will you excuse me for a moment?"

Nyota looked puzzled but she nodded, Spock wondered if she had not heard the change in the wailing outside, the wind sounded as if it were settling. Spock turned the view screen on, he looked through the dark gushing sand and sure enough it was starting to slow, a cloud of blue material rushed past the view screen.

" What was that?" Nyota asked startled." I believe it was our tent. I am going to turn the thrusters on and lift the shuttle up for a few seconds so that it is not buried when the sand comes to rest. Nyota nodded and moved out of the pilots seat sitting in the navigation chair instead. Spock turned the thrusters on, he felt a slight reluctance as he tried to pull the shuttle up but then she was free and he raised her ten foot off the ground and lowered her back down. Knowing the shuttle was safe he went back to tending Nyota's arm. When she was once again without a scratch he went to the storage compartment where she had left her own little bag, he took it to her and asked for her brush. She undid the bag and routed through the few processions' she'd brought with her and gave him the red hairbrush. He stood behind her running his fingers through her hair pulling it over her shoulders and away from her face. He took her brush and ran it down through the long silky mass loosening the sand so that it fell to the floor. With every brushstroke he stroked his hand over where he had ran the brush trying to judge when it was free of sand and knots. He watched Nyota close her eyes and lean back in the chair. Her body tired from a full day walking in harsh conditions was starting to relax and Spock wondered if she would fall asleep in the chair. Then her stomach gave a loud grumble and she opened her eyes. Spock set the brush down.

" What do you want for dinner?"

" Protein bars."

Spock raised his eyebrow.

" I'm not giving up." She said referring to the survival training.

He nodded feeling slight pride at her determination and fetched her a protein bar from his bag. He replicated himself a glass of water, drunk and then ridded himself of his sandy upper garments disposing of them in a storage bay leaving only his trousers on. As Nyota ate he washed his face with warm water and after asking Nyota's permission brushed the sand out of his own hair with Nyota's brush. He heard her yawn and looked across into the front of the shuttle at her.

" Do you wish to sleep now?" He asked.

She gave a sleepy nod and joined him in the back of the shuttle, she placed a small kiss on his lips before scooting into the little bay where the cot was, only 2.5 feet wide it was built in amongst the storage compartments , three foot above the mattress was another long storage compartment so a person could never quite sit up on the bed. It was seven foot long though, made with some of the taller species of the federation in mind.

" Close quarters again tonight." Nyota said.

" I will sleep on the floor if you wish."

She grabbed his arm tugging him towards her.

" Don't you dare." She said lightly. Suppressing a smile he sat on the edge of the cot and swung his legs in, Nyota moved over to the back to allow him room and they lied together face to face.

Nyota smiled and leaned in to give him small sleepy contented kisses.

" May I make a personal inquiry?" Spock asked quietly.

" Anything?"

" You had counselling after Williams attacked you?"

He felt her body stiffen against him.

" Yes." She answered her voice strained and guarded.

" Why did you not continue with it until the nightmares ceased?"

" I didn't like Ohakim."

Spock nodded, he now understood her reasoning, hadn't he himself warned her against the psychiatrist.

" Admittedly she does think highly of herself and seems to have taken a disliking to me"

" I never said a weeks I sat there not speaking until she would dismiss me, she'd spend the entire hour trying to get me to talk but knew she wanted to get evidence against you and wanted to know if I was meeting you that night." Her voice was sad, close to tears. Spock took her hand and tried to send her feelings of comfort and security.

" Do you wish to talk about it?"

No." Her voice had suddenly grown angry and she pulled her hands away from his. " I wish to be in love Spock, care free, I want to forget that anybody ever tried to kill me or force me or whatever."

" Shush." He pulled her to him and stroked down her back. " Darling shush."

He kissed her forehead.

" Then it is forgotten, if not in our minds then at least in our conversations. Let me admit to one thing though. I wished to kill him, I have never cared so deeply for anything, never felt anger so passionately. Just as I have never wanted anything as passionately as I want you."

She stared up at him.

" Why are you saying this?"

" Today you told me of the depths of your feelings for me, I must do the same." He turned to lean over her his hands moving up to frame her face. " You have become the source of joy in my life when joy was previously forbidden. I will guard you, and care for you and fulfil your wishes and treasure every moment with you for as long as you allow me, because you have taught me the value of emotion."

She looked up at him her soft eyes glowing. She moved forwards, and keeping her eyes locked on him captured his lips with her own.

" I love you." She said before kissing him again. " I love you." He silenced her with a firm almost desperate kiss. It grew with intensity and he found himself moving over her, the cot gave a small complaining creak. The kiss seemed to slowly burn between them and her cool fingers seemed to find the knots of his garment and her hands fiddled against him till he had to pull away to let her eyes flicker down and finally manage to undo it, part the fabric and run those cool palms over his chest, her eyes seemed greedy as she took him in. He went back to kissing her with a reckless abandon he had never felt before, his tongue forced it's way into her mouth his hand swept over her back and lingered on her backside. When he felt her pinch his right nipple he growled at her and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it causing her to give a sudden outcry of surprised pain, he opened his eyes to check he had not really hurt her but saw only desire in those that stared back. Then those cool fingers we moving downwards across his stomach, cheekily dipping one into his belly button and brushing the thin hair that made a little line below it. Then they went lower and before he could disentangle himself from the passionate kiss her fingers had run under the material of his pants and brushed against his swollen penis.

He pulled away from her with a gasping pant as a shot of pleasure ran through his body. He grabbed at her forearm pulling her hand away from him and sat up.

Nyota sat up with him her face flushed and lips swollen.

" Did I... I thought.."

Spock cut her off by placing his hands on her face and kissing her again. Quickly and reassuringly before tacking her hands in both of his.

" I have taken your heart, I will not take your body tonight. I want you to be sure, I want my first lover to be my life partner Nyota." Spock said revealing a desire kept secret even to himself. Nyota's eyes widen slowly whether due to his old fashioned romantic ideal or the admission that he was a virgin he did not know.

She nodded slowly as if taking the revelation in then she smiled .

" I do not want you to be affected by your past when we consummate our relationship, I want you to be free from these dark thoughts. You will be with me without the memory of another."

He leaned in and gave her another quick breathless kiss. Resting his forehead against hers he whispered to her.

" And when you are truly ready I will make love to you as if you were a virgin, I will be gentle and spend all night seducing and stroking you until you are exhausted from pleasure." Spock was surprised by his own passionate words, nothing like them had ever passed his lips or even his Mind before.

Nyota stared at him with shocked eyes, her breathing was unsteady and there was a heat in her cheeks.

He placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

" Sleep my darling you are tired."

" I don't think I can."

" I shall leave you then."

"NO." She gave a short laugh and pushed him back down onto the thin mattress and rested her head on his chest.

" I'll sleep."

* * *

Nyota was sleeping soundly against his chest, he could not move to see her face without disturbing her so he had to be content to look at the smooth curve of her shoulder. He traced his fingers over her back feeling the shape of her shoulder blades, her spine, and a tiny raised mole on her lower back the gentle curve up to her buttocks. She breathed softly against him, her dreams undisturbed by nightmares tonight, and he marvelled at her, the woman who loved him.

* * *

He was in his apartment, his bedroom to be exact but he doubted his bedroom had ever looked this way. He had candles in his meditation room but had never had them covering every surface in his bedroom like this before, and his sheets had always been regulation cotton, these looked to be made of something silky they had a glossy quality in the light. The biggest difference was that Nyota had never been in his room wearing the particular outfit she was wearing now. A tight red corset that pushed her breasts up so that they peaked over the top in little crescents. A thin stringy scrap of material barely covering her under that, her legs were covered up to mid-thigh with some dark see through stockings and she wore high heels that elongated her already long legs.

" This isn't my dream." Spock said.

Nyota walked towards him, she stopped her body mere inches from

his and looked up into his eyes. Her fingers stroked around to the back of his head in a familiar gesture. She pressed her lips firmly to his for a moment.

" Dream?" She whispered sultrily.

Spock ran his fingers along her plump bottom lip, she placed a small kiss on his fingertips.

"But it does seem that this time my actions can affect the outcome. Tell me do you dream every night? I do not dream very often, it is quite a novelty for me."

" Spock, what on earth are you talking about?"

" We are not on Earth Nyota."

" We're in your apartment Spock."

She said reaching back up to kiss him. The kiss was passionate and deep and it quickly became heated, there was no holding back after all it wasn't real. Spock thought it put him in quite a difficult moral position , in his own rare dreams he could carry out all the thing's he desired to do but this wasn't his dream it was Nyota's he had just somehow got included in it. Perhaps because he was obviously meant to there, well he hoped it was he she had been planning to meet here. It's just now he had a hand in how the dream turned out, and looking at her dressed like that he didn't know if he could resist, he didn't have the best of control when asleep.

Nyota pulled away from him for a moment to nibble on his ears, it was strange how the act was arousing but lacked sensation, more as if the idea of the action was causing his arousal, not the action itself, that was unreal. The only truth in the moment was their desire for one another. Nyota was on the bed in front of him without him actually moving her there, he had wished for it and it had occurred. He knelt on the bed and took her ankle in his hand and leaned down to kiss her inner thigh just at the point where the stockings ended, he took the material in his fingers and rolled it down her leg placing little kisses at every inch of bare skin he revealed. Nyota supported herself with her hands on the bed to watch him, her breath growing increasingly faster as he worked his way down to her ankle and she gave a delightful deep moan when he switched legs and started again, mid-thigh.

Once divulged of stockings and high heels he lied with her pushing her back down onto the bed and kissing her for as long as his breath would hold, which in dreamtime was a very long time in deed. Breaking the kiss he stared down into amber eyes and stroked her cheek.

"Spock?" She sounded confused almost worried.

" Yes my darling?"

" You said this wasn't your dream."

" You have realized you're dreaming then? It is strange, I expected it to end when you realized."

" I know I'm dreaming because you're speaking Swahili."

" You are hearing Swahili, I am hearing Vulcan. Do not ask me to explain I doubt I could." He rested his head in the crook of her neck and gave it a light kiss disappointed at the turn the pleasant dream had taken.

" How do you know this is my dream?"

" Our dream, though it started off as yours."

" How did you know?"

Spock looked back up at her confused eyes. Lacking inhibition in his dream state he sighed. He pulled himself a few inches down the bed and placed a kiss on the plump mounds peaking from under the corset. She gave a little gasp.

" Because my Darling in my dreams you are always naked, I would not put you in this." He gestured down her body with his hand.

Nyota stared at him for a moment and then sat up forcing him to sit up too.

" What's wrong with it?"

" It is illogical to be annoyed that I dislike your imagined mode of dress, it is not real and you will barely remember any of this tomorrow, dreams are fleeting."

" But what's wrong with it?"

" Nothing, I just prefer to imagine you naked, I prefer the natural you."

And then without any movement in between they were stood in front of each other naked and the sheets had thankfully returned to cotton though he left the candles where they were. Nyota looked around confused, he took her hand and led her to the side of the room. He stood her in front of the full-length mirror, the one that had simply appeared there. He stood behind her with one hand splayed across her flat stomach the other brushing gently at the hair resting on her shoulders. He placed gentle kisses up her long graceful neck and breathed into her ear.

" Do you see how beautiful you are?"

He looked at their reflection in the mirror, her skin looked warm, almost glowing as the candlelight flickered across it. Spock loomed behind her, pale and shadowed in comparison. He stroked his fingers down her belly trailed lightly over the little patch of curled hair and sunk two of them into the warm wet folds between her legs. She gasped but moved closer to him, her bare buttocks pressed against his erection. He stroked her, made increasingly confident by her pleasured gasps and shudders. His eyes could not be moved away from her reflection, the parted lips and flickering eyelids, the steady blush spreading all the way down to her breasts that trembled with each panting breath. "Open your eyes Nyota." He whispered to her. " I want you to see how beautiful you are."

Her eyes opened for a split second and they met his in the reflection and then everything went black. Spock found himself back on the shuttle, fully awake, Nyota was still lying across him, she gave a stifled little cry, and Spock looked down trying to see through the pitched blackness. He trailed his fingers gently down her back and whispered.

" Nyota?"

He got no response and from the shallowness of her breathing he judged she was still asleep. The sweet dream had reached its conclusion without him actually present. He felt a little cheated.

She felt warm against him, and where the skin of her arm touched him she was sticky and damp as if she had been exerting herself. His nose was flooded by the smell of her arousal, the unfamiliar odours of love a seduction. He longed to reach down and touch her as he had done in their dream, he almost ached for it in a state of breathless arousal he had only experienced once before, but it wasn't his time, he had another five years to go. This was a completely natural desire caused by his want of her and he wondered if he would be able to wait for as long as it took for her to be certain she wanted to be his bond mate, part of him regretted his earlier decision and yet another part of him felt embarrassed that he was being so controlled by his bodily urges. He gently moved her off of him and placed a kiss to her forehead and crossed the little space to get into the decontamination shower, he was about to test the cold shower hypothesis, and if it proved ineffective he would have to resort to other methods

* * *

Sunday 27th 8:32

Nyota came sleepily from out of the shuttle as Spock was digging the ruined tent out from under a foot of sand. He had meditated and drunk some water and checked the shuttle over ready for them to leave for the other side of the planet and the internment of the fifty-seven passengers. He had also collected the little pieces of wood that the wind had scattered and made a little fire, it would only last for an hour but that was all that they would need it for.. She smiled at him as she got to the bottom of the shuttle steps. He immediately reached into the backpack by his side and handed her a bottle of water.

She drank half of it in one go, the heat of the newly risen sun having dehydrated her whilst she slept.

She gave a satisfied gasp as she pulled the bottle of now warm water away from her lips.

" Did you sleep well?"

She looked down.

" I had the strangest dream, at least I think I did, I can't quite remember it."

Spock nodded, it was as he had expected.

" So, do you think I could shower in the journey? I can't go to a funeral smelling like this." Nyota asked.

Spock felt his lips twitch, Nyota had indeed taken on the musty smell he now associated with dried sweat.

" That is the first time this weekend I have heard anything close to a complaint."

" Sorry Spock, guess the heat is finally getting to me."

" In my somewhat extensive experience of taking cadets on survival training that is the longest I have heard anybody go without complaining."

Nyota smiled widely and looked down to the floor.

" The company makes all the difference, I guess." She said.

"Indeed, you may shower and change Nyota, survival conditions end the minute we're back on the shuttle."

She smiled and nodded.

" So, protein bars for breakfast."

" No, I thought we could try something different."

She raised her eyebrows at him curiously.

" That bush over there." He pointed to a scraggily unleafed thorn bush twenty yards away. " It has edible roots, the buried deep, but they hold a lot of moisture in the dry season."

Nyota looked over her shoulder at the plant then back at him. Her expression told him nothing of her thoughts.

" Roots for breakfast, okay then." She gave a slight sigh as she stood up and Spock noticed that the light transparent covering had already begun to stick to her back and arms.

Spock got to his feet and walked with her, he stopped her as she got near the little bush.

" No closer the spines are poisonous."

Nyota's eyes widen slightly but she stopped and nodded without a word a yard away from the bush.

" The roots can spread over a quarter of a mile, like a net under the ground trying to trap every last bit of moisture. The tubers that we can eat should be about a foot and a half under the surface."

"I guess if I want breakfast anytime soon I'd better start digging then."

" Not just yet, the ground here is to compact to break through."

Spock allowed her a moment to think about the answer he couldn't help but feel a little pride in her when she answered.

" Are you going to use your phaser to loosen the earth?"

" Yes, though can you think of the dangers of

This course of action?"

" If the beam is on too high a setting then it could melt the sand, or it could heat the sand and we could burn our hands."

"Correct cadet."

She shot him a somewhat reproachful look.

" Correct ,my precious one." Spock corrected himself.

She smiled and touched her fingers to his for a moment. The love that she confessed for him came clearly through their link, a sweet warm comforting sensation. Spock found himself drawing away from it, it did not feel right to experience such emotions on Vulcan. He gave her hand a quick reassuring squeeze before letting go and pulling his phaser from out of the folds of his cloak. He set it to a medium low setting, he glanced at Nyota and she gave a nod before walking a few feet away from him. Once he knew she was at a safe distance he shot at the ground two feet away, a cloud of sand shot up from desert floor. Spock went to kneel by the hole that was made by the phaser blast, four inches wide half a foot deep. The sand was hot as Spock dug his fingers into the hole to shift the loose sand. He heard Nyota's footsteps behind him, saw her out of the corner of his eye as she knelt down next to him. He almost stopped her as he watched her olive fingers reach out close to his and started shifting the hot abrasive sand. He didn't want her to hurt her hands, didn't want that delicate skin ruined but he knew that she was tough, a star fleet cadet and she needed some survival skills.

When the sand started to feel dense and solid again he reached for her fingers and held them up against his own. Her hands were delicate, her fingers almost as long as his, made for playing an instrument or tapping away at the COM buttons of a beautiful star ship. He adored those fingers, adored the contrast of their skin ,mahogany against pale green tinged white. He took them up, turned them in front of his eyes watching the skin glinting across them.

"Spock?"

He looked up to see Nyota looking questioningly at him.

" It is illogical but sometimes I am distracted by your beauty."

She smiled a truly dazzling smile and modestly looked down. He leaned forwards and placed a quick soft kiss on the corner of her mouth .

" I'm going to give it another blast." He said as he pulled away.

Nyota nodded and he helped her to her feet. He shot the same spot with the phaser again, this time holding the burst for 2.6 seconds longer than previously, when they bent back down and cleared the sand away the dark brown tubers were visible.

Nyota gave him a small smile. Spock handed her the flick knife and watched as she dug a little further following the root, she found where the root grew thin again and carefully sawed through the root. She looked at Spock and he nodded she found the other end of the root.

" That's one." Spock said.

When they had collected four of the tuber like roots they headed back to the camp. Spock built up there little fire with the last of the wood they had collected and set alight to it with his phaser they skinned the roots and as the tubers cooked they used the thick bark to collect the moisture that came out of them. When cooked the tubers were a bright orange. Spock found it humorous to watch as Nyota took her first one, and closed her eyes as she took a bite then her eyes widening with a little shock.

" It tastes a little like sweet potato."

" You like it?"

" I do, I'd never have thought you could find something like this out in the desert."

" Before farming Vulcan's lived off what they could forage from this place, the conditions may seem harsh and almost uninhabitable but these are the sands that bore our great culture."

" I think I'm starting to understand that." She smiled as she took another bite out of the tuber.

" You know, these would be pretty good in a stew."

* * *

The fifty-seven had been kept on ice until that morning, Spock landed the shuttle at the assigned co- ordinates thirty miles out from the capital city of the province. Spock had only ever been on this side of the planet once before, it was the most fertile province on Vulcan and as such most of the land was dedicated to farming. The fifty-seven were to be interred on a mountain that was too acid and rocky to grow anything. Few people knew the location of their burial and it would not be marked anywhere so the infant T'lana and her mother would finally rest in peace.

As the door came down Spock quickly grasped Nyota's hand for a second he wished to communicate to her how happy he was that she had come with him how comforting he found her presence. Nyota looked around.

" I feel even sorry for them now that I know what it was they were leaving."

Spock looked around the green valley with its little stream and rows of bright yellow grains. There was an orchard on the horizon the hedgerows were dotted with little blue flowers and although the air was hot with the early afternoon sun there was a light breeze. Spock saw a small gathering of five people, all men half way up the hill. Their were piles of light wood box, just long enough to fit a body they were lining the edges of a large pit that had been dug out with a mechanical digger. Spock started to walk up the hill at a slow pace, he knew Nyota would struggle with the slope and increased gravity. Half way up He glanced behind him, Nyota was a few feet away she gave him reassuring smile and then stopped and frown as if to remind herself they were about to enter company that would not appreciate her displays of emotion. He nodded approvingly, a communications officer would always be expected to respect and mimic other cultures behavioural patterns, and it made communication

with them easier and assured no offences are made. When he reached the spot where the hill evened out he stopped to wait for Nyota and they walked the final twenty feet to the grave together. As they approached Spock felt his muscles stiffening, he recognized two of the five people present. Members of the Vulcan science academy admission board. Growing up whenever he had been bullied at school, called weak by the doctors or stared at on the pathways Spock had told himself that if he studied hard enough and proved himself to be the intellectual equivalent of any full Vulcan he would finally be accepted. The members of the Vulcan science academy had finally rid him of that fantasy, he had been accepted as a member yes, but in the same breath as the master had accepted him he had also been told that despite proving himself he would still always be seen as a weak hybrid. He might be an oddity on earth but at least his skills and strengths were recognized and put to good use.

_"Commander Spock of star fleet and Miss Uhura who is under my tutelage. "_ Spock announced himself as he approached though he knew at least one member of the party would remember him. His eyes met those familiar dark gray ones, they exchanged a nod of greeting. Spock took in the familiar features, they had not changed since he was a child, he knew the features didn't actually hold any emotion, the man had never shown any emotion, but to him they held a sternness and a disapproval.

_" We were expecting you._" The older man acknowledged.

His eyes came to rest on Nyota, she was looked up and down then with a hint of dismissal the man turned around and instructed two of the other members of the party to start moving the coffins. The third seemed to be annotating . Not a word was said for the next two hours and thirteen minutes as the coffins were laid in there final resting ace, a mass grave for those who had dismissed logic so long ago and been banished from the planet of their birth. The final coffin to be placed in the grave was only a foot long, Spock felt a slight ache in his chest. He said a final goodbye to the infant T'lana who had haunted his thoughts those cold days aboard the ancient vessel.

When all the coffins were laid in the pit one of the heftier men who had helped move them got into the mechanical digger and started to shovel dirt, filling in the mass grave. Spock walked around the pit to approach the stern older man.

"_ I take my leave now_." The man barely glanced in his direction and Spock had to wonder how they could be so near to each other yet remain so distance, it had not always been the way things were, or had it? Had he been too young to notice had what he thought to be Vulcan stoicism actually been indifference.

_"Please send my apologies to my mother that I did not have time to visit with her on this occasion."_

_" To apologize would be illogical."_

_" Yes, but my mother would appreciate it despite that."_

_"Indeed."_

_"Live long and prosper."_

_" Peace and long life Spokh."_

He rejoined Nyota and they walked silently down the hill until out of shot of even Vulcan ears.

" Who was he? You seemed to know each other."

"He is my father, let us go home Nyota."

* * *

- So, was that a little too strange? I kind of went overboard with passionate romantic in love Spock, it just ran away from me. Thing's will go back to normal when their back at the academy.


	27. Interruption

Okay, quick question for my lovely and more informed readers, in another story I've been using the spelling SPOKH when Spock is on Vulcan as that's how the Vulcan's pronounce it and SPOCK when he's on Earth because that's how the Humans say it and I've been asked to change this as everybody thinks it's a typo and I'm spelling the name of my main character wrong. So, here's the question, am I right that it's actually pronounced Spokh in the native tongue or have I got that completely wrong?

So, two months in one chapter, bit of a rush but I'm always in a rush to get to the next exciting bit. Nyota and Spock are happy and content at this point in their relationship and when has that ever made for interesting reading?

Rated M for Semi- illicit sexual situations (Again).

* * *

Monday 28th September

" Good morning class."

He looked out at all the tired and unenthusiastic faces of cadets who at 9am on a Monday morning would much prefer to be in bed than in class. Except one of them was smiling, more than that it was a secret little smile, one that said 'I've got a secret, a marvellous secret, that I only share with you' and with that little smile he didn't want to be stood in a roomful of cadets who would barely listen to a word he was about to say, with that smile he wanted to be far away. Just him and her far away where they could be alone together and share their thoughts with one another and spend moments in lingering glances and lingering caresses.

_**Good morning Kipenzi**_

_**Good morning **_**Ashayam**

"Let us think philosophically for a moment . Does the prime objective apply to a none humanoid species with no discernable language? Are they completely without rights? Food for humanoids. What about the other end of the scale, Vulcan's have some telepathic ability but there maybe other species that seemingly have not developed language that communicate fully with-in their species with telepathy. Is it right that we use the development of language to judge how evolved a species is and assign rights due to that level of development? Orangatangs can be taught and in turn teach sign language so Humanoid gives them more respect than they do to butterflies. Or is it that once an animal has learn to use language it can express it's emotions and opinions, ask for the rights it is due and fight for them if necessary."

* * *

Wednesday 30th September

The bar was crowded and almost too noisy to stand, Spock knew that his friend was in some kind of emotional dilemma when he had first suggested the busy student bar. It was the place Chris went when he wanted to put on his cool captain hanging with the kid's persona, another words when he wanted to drink and make humorous remarks and forget about whichever responsibility or personal crisis was on his mind.

After almost an hour of standing at the bar drinking and watching Pike tell stories of past missions Spock reluctantly tapped him on the shoulder and asked if they sit down for a moment, hinting out as he did so the effects of the nearby speakers on Pikes (human) long term hearing. They had got their drinks, ginger ale for Spock beer and shooters for Pike, and sat in the quietest corner they could find and observed what Spock perceived as almost total chaos and Chris saw as 'a good time.'

" How was your weekend?"

" Enjoyable."

" Enjoyable?"

" Yes."

" I've heard you say productive peaceful but never enjoyable."

" It was not productive nor peaceful." Spock said thinking about the sand storm.

Chris looked down at his drink for a long moment and then glanced at Spock for a second as if summing him up.

" April is leaving the academy, she doesn't want to teach."

" April is your current partner?"

" No, that's kind of the point, she was my partner, she's not anymore. I should have known it didn't work the first time and pilots are always flighty."

" I acknowledge your emotional distress."

Chris looked up at him.

" Yeah." He downed the rest of his drink.

" I'm going to get another one."

Spock nodded; he knew his friend was upset, he knew he was not the right person to help with that emotional distress. He only knew that he himself would feel emotional distress if his partner left him but the moment that thought came into his mind he pushed it away, he did not want to consider it.

He sat observing the behaviour of those around him as he waited for Chris to return. When he had first arrived at the academy he had been somewhat disgusted and after having been exposed to such situations he felt the need to meditate for long periods to cleanse his psyche of the chaos. Later when he had begun socialising with Chris he had learnt to observe the students behaviour, as he would make observations on the social behaviours of a newly discovered species. Now, four years on, he felt he had learnt all there was to learn, in fact at times he had felt he had learned too much.

A particular cadet had caught his eye. The young man was perhaps a few inches shorter than he was, a lightly heaver Build with blue eyes blond hair and features that would likely be considered attractive to humans. The young man appeared to be talking to a young woman who was sat at a table with another female companion. The mans body language suggested he was flirting, the woman's however suggested she was not open to his attentions, the fact that she rolled her eyes and moved her chair further away from him was a pretty clear sign. The young man moved away but a minute later when the young woman got up and headed to the bar the man went and sat on the now empty chair and started chatting up the woman's companion.

Chris returned to the table holding a double whiskey.

" What are you looking at so intently?"

" That cadet, I have seen him on two other occasions the first was when I was meeting Nyota at the shuttle bay, he was harassing her. The second you were present, at Nyota's birthday when he again harassed Nyota and spilt our drinks. "

Chris turned to look in the direction that Spock was indicating, Spock was not sure why but Chris gave a little smile when he saw the man Spock was talking about.

" It seems that yet again he is acting in a way not befitting a star fleet cadet." Spock continued.

" That is James Kirk."

" The name is somewhat familiar." Spock said as he watched the first female the Kirk character had been flirting with return to the table to find him sat in her seat and pursuing her rather genial looking friend. Needless to say, she didn't look happy about it.

" The son of George Kirk, first officer and for a short time captain of the USS Kelvin."

" He is the son of the man whose admittedly brave actions saved a Crew of 800?"

" The apple hasn't fallen as far from the tree as it seems." Spock noticed the hint of pride in the older mans expression as he turned once more to glance behind him at James Kirk. " I recruited him myself, he's getting there."

At that moment Kirk apparently said something the young woman found offensive because she slapped him firmly around the face.

" If the there you are referring to is the brig or a sexual harassment suite I would agree with you."

" Spock." Chris said his voice full of mock delight. " You've finally developed a sense of humour. I think I may have Miss Uhura to thank for that."

" It's logical when seeking a Human mate to display such characteristics that Human Females find attractive in their mates. Apparently humour is one of those characteristics. "

" I spoke to soon."

* * *

First week of October

Spock felt content, Spock liked contentment. Contentment was a sort of happy peacefulness. He was stretched out on his sofa; he leaned against the arm of the chair with Nyota pressed against him. Her head rested on his shoulder, she was gently fondling his fingers, he could tell she shared his contentment but he also could also feel tiredness in her.

" Have you been experiencing nightmares?"

She sighed and leaned her head back to look up at him.

" Once in the last week, why?"

" You are tired I wondered if it was due to the nightmares."

" No. " She looked back down and wrapped her fingers round his holding his hand. " I spent last night doing research for an essay because it's due Monday and it's been rumoured that there will be a skills trip this weekend. I don't want to be called up in the first group and have to get an extension."

" You don't want to ruin that perfect record."

He could tell she was smiling without looking at her as there was a flare of sudden happiness coming through their link that he had grown to associate with that wide open grin.

" You're teasing me again."

" The strange Earth celebration where people dress as something they are not is coming up again soon."

"Halloween?"

" Yes Halloween, will you dress as an angel again?"

" No, There's a cadet party with a loose other planets clothing theme. Galia wanted to coordinate our costumes again this year but her ideas range from wearing Ferengi clothes."

" Ferengi Woman do not wear clothes just a variety of jewellery."

" I know."

" To the robes of the Malcius."

" So, the options she provided range from nakedness to sheer gowns."

" Yes."

" I do not like that idea."

" Nor do I, so I thought I might just wear my Vulcan robes. But, as it's lightly themed I thought I'd like to go as Marie Antoinette."

" If I recall correctly she was the Earth Queen from France who was beheaded during a revolution."

"Yes. I did a history project on her once in school. "

" Why do you wish to pretend to be her?"

" It'll be fun."

" Being beheaded is fun?"

" When she was young she was known for flamboyant clothing, wearing something outrageous with lots of fabric and ribbons and a wig would be fun."

" I like the idea of lots of fabric when you are at a public event."

" Will you be dressing up this year Spock?"

" I may consider it for the purposes of scientific inquiry and to gain a better understanding of this Earth custom."

* * *

Third week of October.

Spock was sat in his usual place in the library, a quiet out of the way corner in the advanced astrophysics section. He was rarely disturbed there, as it seemed very few students reached the level where they could understand the 'advanced' astrophysics. So far he had been sat their two and a half hours and only seen one student wondering around the shelves, the young Russian boy Chekov. Spock finished reading the obscure article he had found packed away in paper form and returned it its place. He took the three electronic books (that looked rather like PADDS but were a lot simpler) that he wished to read at his apartment, stored them in his ever presence satchel and headed towards the desk. It was around the earth history section he stopped; he had become aware of something familiar resting just on the edge of his senses. It took him a moment to realize that he could smell very faintly the familiar mixed flora and raspberry scent of Nyota. He looked around and saw Nyota sat at one of the little tables that the library had dotted around in various sections. He hesitated at going over, he had not seen her outside of lectures in three days, they had gotten into a new routein this year of having dinner on Thursday nights and going to lunch on Saturday, though their lunches on Saturdays tended to last well into the night as neither of them wanted to part from the other. Today was Tuesday. Even though he wanted to see her, or moreover hear her voice as he saw her three times a week in lectures she seemed emerged in her work. One of his biggest qualms about being in a relationship with a cadet had been that their relationship might have a negative affect on her work. He only slept four hours a night so he had a lot more time to fulfil his duties and responsibilities than she did.

Nyota looked up almost as if she could sense her eyes on him, which he reminded himself she might indeed be able to given the strengthening of their bond. She gave a small welcoming smile at seeing him and taking that as an invitation he walked over to her. He was about to ask her how she had been and if her week had held any interesting events when three cadets came out from behind the shelves and sat at the table next to her.

_**Follow my lead Kipenzi. **_

She smiled and he quirked his eyebrow in response not entirely sure of her meaning but willing to go along with what ever she said at that particular time.

" That sounds very interesting Commander, I've always wondered if their was variation in the ferengi language in different areas of the planet."

" Due to their having been very little contact between the federation and the ferengi very little is known about their languages."

_**But there is a good book on the matter.**_

" But there is a good book on the matter."

" Oh, I don't suppose you could show me where that is."

" Of course Cadet, follow me." Spock said realizing that their little charade had been to have an excuse to move to a less populated part of the library where they could talk a little more freely.

Spock instinctively walked through the stacks to the rare language section, it was unoccupied 89% of the time and it was after all where they had said they were followed him two steps behind in a way that reminded him of how the women walked behind their husbands on Vulcan, he found the gesture somewhat moving. He stopped at the small area that was dedicated to obscure languages, it was as he had expected completely empty, and also completely hidden except for a small camera on the roof that would only be able to pick up their upper torsos. He stood and browsed the shelves, Nyota stood next to him, she meet his eyes and smiled and then in a small movement reached out and touched his hand. Spock felt himself stiffen momentarily as he concentrated his hear and made sure there really wasn't anybody breathing apart from them in the nearby area. Relaxing he allowed himself to feel Nyota's presence as she ran her fingers lightly over his in that familiar and intimate gesture. There was something slightly different about touching her in a public place, he knew it was risky; he knew that he may get distracted and not hear somebody approaching and yet he found it almost impossible not to enjoy the experience. He wondered when it would be when they could admit to their relationship in public and then reprimanded himself knowing that it would not be for another year and eight months, when she graduated and was no longer his student.

_**How have you been since we last talked Nyota?**_

_**Well Kipenzi, the modules are slightly more strenuous than last year but they are also more diverse. **_

_**There is a lot more to know about being a communications officer than xenolinguistics.**_

_**I've always known that, but the reality is different from the theory.**_

_**Indeed, that is often the case when we make assumptions. You know you can always come to me for assistance if there is something you don't understand.**_

_**I know, but I'm managing at the moment. Thank you for the offer.**_

She sent a blast of appreciation down the link between them and Spock inadvertently shivered at the strength of emotion, she had a tendency towards heavy-handedness when she wished to 'send' him emotions. Most of the time it wasn't even necessary as he could sense them anyway but she seemed to use it as a mode of communication. He raised his eyebrow at her and she gave a lopsided grin.

" Sorry."

" Perhaps I should teach you a little more delicacy in our communications, you have a tendency to shout."

" I'm sorry." She definitely frowned this time.

" You are not at fault, this is not natural to you and you have received no instructions."

He gave her hand a little squeeze.

_**I do not mind much, it is pleasant to converse in this way and I can block some of the.. noise out of my mind. I will give you some instruction on Saturday, if you are willing?**_

_**I am willing Kipenzi, I was not aware I was mentally shouting.**_

When she thought that to him her 'mental voice' had been a lot quieter, he knew that she would learn quickly now that she was aware of the problem.

_**I am keeping you from your work.**_

She gave a little sigh and dropped his hand.

" Yes."

" I will see you for lunch on Thursday?"

" Yes, It's just.." She shrugged as if she wouldn't continue.

" Tell me Ashayam."

" It's just that Saturdays to Thursdays feels like a long time to go without your company."

He felt the sudden impulse to kiss her but repressed it knowing that the camera would catch that particular action.

" I have also found this, we shall organise a time to see each other in between."

She looked up at him and smiled.

" Yes. I'd like that."

" As would I."

She touched her fingers to his again briefly and then turned to leave.

" Nyota."

She turned back to look at him. Spock picked a electronic book off the shelf in front of him and held it out to her, she took it and looked at the name plate for a moment before giving a little laugh that delighted him.

" There's actually a book on ferengi dialects."

" It's mainly speculative."

She smiled and he watched as she walked away feeling the separation from her sharply even though that now not so little sparkle of her was in his mind. He stood for a moment and then continued back to the kiosks to withdraw the electronic books.

* * *

Forth week of October.

Spock had filled out the electronic permission form to borrow items from the stores , most people would simply replicate new clothes but as it was not his uniform he could not gain permission to do so. Instead he could get permission to borrow a spare. He went to the large storage rooms just north of the fitness centre, it took him seven minutes to find the correct uniform. He found his size picked it up and looked at the shirt. He did not think the red would suit him as well as his usual blue.

* * *

October 31st

Spock straightened his costume for the forth time in the night. He felt slightly uncomfortable; pretending to be somebody he was not was not fun. He felt slightly confused as to why everybody else seemed to be acting in that jovial and frivolous way that he had learnt indicated fun. He wondered if he was missing something essential in the whole experience, he was here with Chris, a friend as were most people, he was dressed as something he was not, as were most people, he was drinking alcohol, admittedly it did not affect him but still it was early in the night and people were not drunk. Yet he was still not having 'fun', he knew he was not incapable. Swimming with Nyota all those months ago that was 'fun'.

Talking about Nyota, Spock and Chris had come to the wormhole; the student bar just outside campus knowing the Nyota would be there. Spock wanted to show her that he was willing to do things that she found 'fun' to an extent even if he found it illogical. He wanted to explore his humanity a little more; he wanted to please her, as long as it didn't mean giving too much of himself away. Besides, he didn't think that anything could be a illogical as this celebration seemed so if he emerged himself in the event he might be able better understand it.

He and Chris were both at the bar when there was a disturbance near the door. It seemed several young man had got up at the same point Spock looked up across the crowd trying to see the cause of the disturbance. He noted that most females in the area seemed very annoyed about everything and all the males were looking towards the door. A small clearing came in the crowd and Spock saw the cause of the disturbance, at first he thought that under the clear light blue loose fitting gown Galia was naked, but it seemed that he undergarments were exactly the same colour as he skin.

" Ah, is that Cadet Galia?"

" Yes." Spock noticed Nyota pushing her way through the crowd of young males an annoyed expression on her face. She was wearing a very strange gown; it had large sleeves but left her shoulders bare it was tight to her waist and then flared out into a large heavy looking skirt. It was light pink, with a baby blue strip going from the corset down the skirt with little pink ribbons spaced down that strip. There were also blue bows on the sleeves and she wore a white wig and intricate make-up. He held his hand up slightly in a dignified manner.

She looked over at him. Gave a slight wave and worked her way through the crowd, it took her quite a while.

" Commander, Captain. I don't think I thought my costume out well. Captain Ahab?"

She asked Pike. Who was dressed as an eighteenth century captain with an eye patch.  
He nodded.

" I do not see where the problem lies, your dress seems quite accurate, except the synthetic materials of course."

" I can barely walk in the skirt Spock." She looked down at his shirt. " Um.. What are you wearing?"

" It is a star trek mechanics uniform." He said, thinking that the red star fleet shirt was quite an obvious costume.

" Right."

" You said the point of this celebration was to dress as something that I am not, I am a science officer, not a mechanic therefore I am dressed as something that I am not. Have I not met the of the requirements of the celebration?"

" Can I give you some advice?" Chris said. " Give him this one."

Spock raised his eyebrow.

" What have I missed?"

Nyota smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder.

" Nothing Spock, don't worry about it. You look great."

" Thank you Cadet Uhura. I have yet to discover what is fun about wearing clothes that do not belong to you."

She smiled.'

" That's alright commander."

" I know it's not your thing. "

**No, but I wanted to understand. I sensed you were unhappy when you first came in.**

**Last year I had a lot of fun with Galia but this year, I don't know she just wants to flirt and I don't want to get caught up in her game. **

She finally caught the bar keepers eye.

" Two beers."

Spock looked across the room at Galia who was now sat on top a table talking to five rather entranced looking men who were hanging on her every word.

**It is her nature.**

**I know, I don't blame her for what she is and I know that if I ask her to go home she'll come with me in a second. I'm getting a headache, am I still shouting?**

**No, the link is not strong enough for prolonged conversation without skin-to-skin contact.**

**And I can't touch you. **

He could sense her slight sadness.

" Just so you too know, staring adoringly at each other for five minute is not exactly keeping it under wraps." Chris said quietly placing a hand on both their shoulders.

" We were conversing."

" Yes, but as nobody else can see that it looks plain old weird."

" I guess I can't hang around here too long without it seeming weird either. " Nyota said with a sigh. Spock casually brushed his fingers along hers hoping nobody would notice or if they did that they wouldn't know it's meanings. She gave him a small smile and turned to Chris.

" Captain Pike, thank you for the part you had to play in my little trip last month."

" Your welcome Miss Uhura."

Nyota took her two beers and walked back to Galia.

" Chris, may I ask you opinion on a personal matter?" Spock asked watching him.

" Spock, if this is about your love life then I got to say given my current situation I might not be the best person to ask."

" I always respect your opinions Chris."

He gave an outtake of breath, more a huff than a sigh.

" Ask away Spock."

" My.. Partner" Spock chose his words carefully in case anybody was listening. "Is happy when with me in private but because we are not making our relationship open on the occasions I see her in public she becomes saddened. I believe it is possible that this could cause rifts. Have you ever been in this kind of situation?"

" I'm a starship captain Spock, almost of my relationships have had to have been quiet, perhaps not as quiet as yours, but yeah, it can cause rifts but I think those rifts only matter if there's other under lying problems. Besides, it doesn't always have to be that way with you two, I mean it's still a while but in a little under two years.."

" You think it will not separate us?"

Chris took a long drink; he did not look at Spock when he answered.

" I think she loves you. And I also think you're one lucky pointy eared.." He looked at Spock and seemed to sense his slight annoyance.

" Science officer dressed as a mechanic." Chris finished.

Twenty minutes later Nyota came back over.

_**Galia wants to go clubbing and I want to keep an eye on Galia as I don't like the guy she's with.**_

Spock nodded.

**_Will you walk me home so I can change into my Vulcan robes?  
_****Of course.**

Spock turned to Chris.

" I am going to walk Miss Uhura back to her apartment, I should only be twenty minutes."

" Judging by the how fast this bar is filling that'll be how long it takes to order another drink."

Spock looked around at the bar, its occupancy had risen by twenty percent in thirty minutes.

" For once I think your estimate maybe accurate."

Chris gave a shrug and went back to nursing his drink.

Spock walked in front of Nyota, the students cleared their way for him and soon they were outside in the cool clear night heading back to academy grounds. The walk from the bar to the student block was only seven minutes that probably the main reason it was so popular.

" Captain Pike seems a little down tonight." Nyota commented as they walked side-by-side passing various costumed cadets.

" It is a private matter."

Nyota nodded.

" So I hope you will be discrete."

She gave a small laugh.

" He has separated from his partner."

" Oh, I see. She was a pilot, yes?"

" Correct."

" Why did they spilt."

" Apparently she is flighty. Nyota, do you wish our relationship was more public?"

She looked down.

" Well yes, of course, only because then I could just come up to you and talk to you whenever I like and we could eat lunch together in the mess hall everyday. But I know it's not possible, and it's not that big a deal. The only person that I would really talk to it about anyways would be Galia and my father, and well Galia knows and I think my father would understand."

" Galia knows about our relationship?"

" Yeah, I didn't tell her. She just guessed. I think I used to joke about you being the hot professor."

Spock was a little pleased by this.

" And when I stopped mentioning you altogether.."

" She figured out it was because we were together and had to keep it a secret."

" Yes, and something to do with us pouring heap loads of pheromones into the air every time we see each other."

Spock nodded, Orion's could pick up on pheromones so naturally she would be able to tell.

" She has been attending my advanced programming classes."

" I know, she always manages to surprise me too."

" Indeed." Spock said thinking of a few months previous when he had walked in on her with her latest partner.

They paused outside her apartment.

" I will wait here while you change."

" Thank you commander."

When she came out in the Vulcan robes he had replicated for her when they had visited Vulcan he walked her back to the bar, there they separated as Nyota managed to pull Galia away from the group of young men so they could head to the club. Spock went to find Chris and repressed a sigh as he saw him with three shoot glasses lined up in front of him, it looked like he would need Spock's assistance to walk home again that night.

* * *

First week of November

It was Tuesday and they had found a time when they were both free. Spock gave advanced computer programming seminars between 19:00 and 20:00 so they meet at his apartment at 20:15 Nyota had asked for a chess match, he had only taught her the basics the week previous but practice was the best way to learn. The first match had lasted a surprising twenty minutes Nyota picked things up quickly. There second was lasting quite a bit longer.

" What are you doing over the thanks giving break?" Spock asked, he'd wanted to bring it up with Nyota for some time now. " We could go to the vine again, perhaps do some hiking or go to one of those new holovids showing in the shopping centre? " He offered.

Nyota looked down, she moved a pawn and took his queen, Spock wondered how he had left himself open to the attack, and he was distracted and had under estimated her.

" I'm going home Spock. Just for four days."

Spock nodded.

" I'm sorry."

" There is no need to apologize Ashayam, I meant if you were not visiting home. "

He took her pawn but it was no repayment for his queen.

" Tell me what you plan to do at home."

" My brothers family is coming to stay."

" You will see your niece?"

She smiled a little.

" Yes, I'll go Christmas shopping with my mother and sister in law and philosophizes with my father."

Spock twitched his lips in the smallest of smiles at the idea of Nyota being so ... domestic.

" Spock?"

" Yes."

" When's your birthday?"

" In the Earth calendar it is the 29th of November."

" The day after Thanks Giving, why didn't you tell me?"

" Why did you want to know?"

" So I could get you a birthday present."

" You do not have to do that."

" I know, but I want to." She took his hand. " I'm sorry I won't be here for your birthday."

" Vulcan's do not celebrate the anniversaries of their Births very often. We celebrate at a century and at the second if we live that long."

" Still."

* * *

_**Monday, third week of November**_

He lit candles, he had learnt that this was part of the none scientific atmosphere that Nyota liked. He also put on some light Ontarian flute music. He set up a range of different entertainments for the evening, trying to judge by past experiences what she would like to do. He set his chess boar

Up on the coffee table, they had only played a few games but she seemed to have picked up the rules and was starting to strategize. He had borrowed a range of holovids from the library in case she wished to watch one and he had purposely left the door to his meditation room open, he wanted to show her artifacts from Vulcan, wanted her to know that he trusted her in his personal space.

He was cutting up vegetables for the Vulcan dish he was preparing for their evening meal when the door buzzed. Spock answered it, Nyota was in one her favorite white jumper and a black skirt that came to slightly above her knee, and over the top she wore a long black coat. She had her hair down but pushed back with what she had told him was called an Alice band.

" Ashram." He stepped aside so she could enter, the moment the door was closed they stepped together Nyota raised on the balls of her feet slightly and kissed him gently. Spock wanted to pull her close and kiss her all night, every time he saw her in class, sat long legs crossed, smiling at him he wished he could go pick her up and carry her someplace they could be alone. He always managed to push those feelings aside and get on with his lecture without a moments hesitation but it was like all those moments of longing added up so that when he got her alone his apartment he had trouble keeping his hands away from her. As she pulled away Spock held her tighter, she gave in to him for another minute but then he let her go. He pressed his forehead to hers.

" Hello."

She gave a small laugh.

" Hello Kipenzi." She looked around. "Candles?"

" I was trying to create an atmosphere."

She looked up at him with bright eyes.

" Thank you."

He reached down and took her hand and led her too the kitchen. He indicated for her to sit at the small table.

" Wine?"

She nodded. He got the bottle he had purchased to drink with their meal and poured some into a glass for her he placed it down in front of her.

" Thanks Spock. Do you want some help?"

" No, It is almost prepared. Tell me of you day."

She took a sip of the wine.

" I beat my personal records at lap this morning, discovered I only got a B in the Com maintenance practical. And I managed to pour Chicken soup all over Len."

Spock opened the oven to check the small pastry like parcels that were filled with spices and a Vulcan leaf Vegetable. He would serve them with a creamy sauce and mixed earth vegetables.

" Why did you do that?"

" It was an accident. Jim Kirk distracted me."

" Jim Kirk? Is he still harassing you?'

" No, this time he was apologizing for being a jerk to me last week, but he did started me I tripped and my soup went over McCoy."

" I trust he was not hurt."

" No. He was fine, he just had to go change his uniform."

" Would you please set the table? Spock asked, the food was ready and he was about to dish it up.

Nyota stood up and moved around him and two minutes later they were sat down to eat. Nyota said his was the best K'Pau she had ever tasted, Spock asked her when she had sampled the dish before and she said it was the first time. They talked sporadically as they ate, Nyota wanted to know more about his experiences as a cadet so he told her of his infuriating roommate and of off planet survival training and his first zero gravity maintenance run. After eating, and washing up together, she washed he dried. They wordlessly went and sat on the sofa, and wordlessly fell into kissing

He knew she was only going for four days, he even thought that their bond was now strong enough that they would still be able to communicate telepathically. Still as she kissed him he felt the strong desire to hold her as closely as possible, to not let her go. He wanted to know she was safely in reach of him. Nyota shifted uncomfortably and he pulled away.

He shot her a questioning look expecting her to start talking again or to shift her position so that they could continue kissing. He hoped for the latter. Nyota stared at him, her eyes seemed fiery. She swung her legs over straddling him, her hands reached up to frame his face and her lips came down on his again. There was logic to their position, Nyota was directly in front of him, they both had a lot of freedom of movement and Spock was able to stroke his hands up and down Nyota's back. That was how he justified to himself allowing it; in actual fact he found the position extremely enticing. Nyota deepened the kiss her tongue hungrily exploring his mouth. His hands found her waist and he pulled her closer to him. All thought was heading out of the window but Spock did feel that although he was experiencing strong desire and was having trouble holding onto any thought other than 'oh', 'so good' and 'more' he was still in control of his actions. Nyota pulled away from him, panting from the length of the kiss. Spock placed small kisses and nips on her lips as he waited for her to regain her breath. She kissed him again, desperate, sensual, uninhibited kisses. When she pulled away again he swept her hair away and kissed down her long neck enjoying the soft sweet smelling skin and eliciting a gasping groan, it was the most beautiful sound. Her fingers reached for his and they shared a few finger stroking Vulcan kisses. He could feel her desire; it mixed and added to his own.

_**Kipenzi, I love you.**_

Nyota's finger separated from his as they kissed again, they reached down and fiddled with the bottom of his shirt. He got the impression of skin and warmth and closeness from her and he pulled away pulling the shirt over his head, he folded it quickly and set it on the cushion next to him, he took the moment of relative inactivity to measure his body's reaction, heartbeat increased by 21.4%, breathing 12% faster, various hormones obviously raised, arousal. Nyota's cool hands ran up his chest, She tilted her head to kiss him, slower more planned and deliberate. She nuzzled his neck then lightly nipped at the skin there.

".Ashayam"

Nyota leaned back, she stared at him intently as she took her top and swiftly as if scared to take her time pulled it over her head. Spock's eyes travelled over her tight stomach muscles, up over her ribs, the plump flesh that dipped down to the plain white bra. She allowed him time to look her over, it was the first time he had seen her in clear light and she was beautiful. Very beautiful. Then she kissed him again, moulding her body to hers. He felt his control starting to waver.

_**Nyota.**_

_**I know the rules Kipenzi, I'm just pushing them to the edge.**_

_**You're beautiful Nyota, more beautiful than any dream of beauty I have ever had.**_

He felt Nyota surge of delight at his word, almost as a reward she bucked her hips against his groin, Spock groaned at the sensation. She broke their kiss and gave him a rather wicked smile before repeating the movement, Spock found himself gasping and unable to form a complete thought.

Nyota's hands reached behind her back and unhooked her bra. Spock watched as her hands lingered over the straps at her shoulders. Her mouth was slightly open, he could sense a moment of nervousness and then she brushed the straps down her arms allowing the material to fall between their bodies. Spock took in that previously hidden secret flesh, the soft mounds the dark alveoli and raised little nipples. He looked down at the calves and thigh going up to her skirt that had raised a few inches, the flat stomach the long arms then her face, deep dark eyes plump lips. He placed his hands at the side of her face getting her to look directly at him.

" You are closer to perfect than should be possible."

Her eyes flickered downward modestly, he leaned forwards and kissed her lightly then leaned his forehead on her shoulder and held her close to him feeling those soft fleshy mounds pressed against his chest. He didn't know how long he held her like that but when he pulled away her breath was not nearly as panting as it had been before.

" May I?" He asked.

Nyota nodded. He kissed her softly and gently now as his hands ran between their Bodies taking in the newly revealed flesh stroking up from her waist to her breasts Lightly moving over them at first but with growing confidence to tease her with the gentlest of squeeze and run his thumbs over her nipples. He wrapped his hands round her waist and lifted her up briefly so he could kiss her breasts eliciting small gasps and shudders from Nyota then lowered her back down so he could kiss her mouth once more. He tried to be gentle and sweet with her but she was feverish, practically trembling as she kissed him deeply. He knew they would have to stop soon before things got completely out of hand. He would lay with her, hold her and put some music on until they had both calmed down, perhaps she would even ask to stay over and they could sleep side by side. But not yet, he wouldn't stop her yet. Her hips bucked into his once more and he placed his hands on them moving them in a steady deliberate pattern that increased his arousal and pleasure and from her moans and their bond he could tell she also enjoyed the friction, in a moment when her mind was very open to him he saw that she was aroused by the idea that their bodies were only separated by her underwear and the thin material of his strained trousers. He ran his hands up and down her back as they kissed and rocked together. Nyota pulled away gasping and panting, her face flushed and her eyes half closed, Spock kissed her neck again not wanting to be separated from her for a second, not yet, not quite yet. He heard the strange swishing sound but it took a moment for his brain to register it was the sound of his door opening. Startled he looked up just in time to see a familiar figure, stood a foot inside his doorway, gasp and turn around to face the wall.

"Mother?"

* * *

Yes, I love my surprise moments and my cliffhangers.

Kipenzi: Lover/ darling In Swahili

Ashayam: Beloved in Vulcan

Bold Italics are telepathic speech ( just a reminder)


	28. Delirium

Delirium

* * *

It all came back to him, three years ago his parents had come to earth on a diplomatic mission, Spock had set the doorpad to recognize his mother so she could use his apartment when he was teaching.

" Mother?"

Nyota jumped at the word and in a startled movement fell unceremoniously to the floor.

" Nyota!" Spock jumped to his feet, looking down at her, looking her over trying to see if she was hurt. He held his hand out to help her up. Feeling a flood of confusion and startled embarrassment come through the link from her.

" Mother, I was not expecting you."

All signs of his arousal had disappeared. He bent down to pick up Nyota's clothes. She stood, her arm folded across her chest, her cheeks starting to darken in a blush. She stared down at him her eyes flickering from him to his mother.

_**I am sorry Nyota.**_

_**Your mother?**_

She sounded as if she could Not quite believe it.

_**Yes.**_

_**Shit.**_

" I'm sorry Spokh." Something in his mothers Voice scared him, she sounded upset, shaky, as if she were barely keeping herself together. Nyota took her clothes from him and with a small glance from him headed into his room to get dressed again.

" Mother? What has happened?"

He walked over to her placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. His mother rarely cried but now her eyes were red as if she had been or was trying hard not too.

"It's your father. He's ill. We were heading to a diplomatic hearing on Taurus IV but the lieutenant said your father would die if we didn't get him to the nearest federation planet so we came here."

" What is his current condition?"

" There's something wrong with his heart, the Earth doctors don't know what to do. They say he can't be moved back to Vulcan."

" Have you contacted the science academy and asked them to send a Vulcan doctor?"

His mother stared up at him and shook her head. She threw her hands up close to her face.

" I just can't.. I just can't think."

Spock pulled her towards him and hugged her.

" Do not worry mother, I will sort it out."

His mother gave a sharp bitter laugh into his chest.

" I know thing's are bad when you hug me, you only do that in the worst of situations."

Spock pulled away.

" I wished to comfort you, not to cause you more worry."

She gave a weak smile and reached up to put her hand on his cheek, he took a moment to look down at her familiar and loving face, now looking older than her years.

" I had forgotten how tall you were."

" I should visit more often." He conceded, knowing it to be true from the sharp burning in his chest he felt at seeing her again. If only he and his father could mend the rifts between them so his visits would not be unwelcome. She looked down and shook her head.

" Your father."

" I will come and speak to the doctors with you and then we will have a better idea of what we must do."

His mother looked nervously over his shoulder.

" Your friend." She hesitated between the words.

**Nyota. **

He could tell she was thinking that she did not want to come out and face his mother and that this was the worst possible way to meet your boyfriends mother. Spock went and picked up his shirt and pulled it over his head. Nyota, now fully dressed came out the bedroom door her eyes pointed at the floor. Spock went and took her hand and tried to send her calming feelings.

" Nyota, my father is ill. I must go to him."

" On Vulcan?"

" No, here in the academy hospital."

She looked up at him her deep brown eyes showing sympathy, she gave his hand a little squeeze. Spock was aware of his mother watching them but he did not hesitate, after what she had just witnessed holding hands would not surprise her. Spock was not embarrassed, embarrassment would serve no function at this time, he had to help his father and all his emotions were repressed without a second thought.

He walked with Nyota to his mother, Nyota was a foot taller than his mother, but Spock suspected that the fact that she did not meet her eyes had nothing to do with the height difference.

" Mother, this is my partner, Nyota Uhura. Nyota this is my mother Amanda Greyson. Unfortunately the situation does not allow for a more extensive introduction."

Spock's mother held out her hand, and gave Nyota a small little smile.

Nyota took it in hers.

" It's Nice to meet you." She said polity and awkwardly.

" If my husband were not ill I would hope we would have sat down and had a cup if tea and laughed about things Spokh did when he was younger. "

Nyota gave a proper smile then.

" I am sorry your husband is ill I hope he'll get better soon and that someday well have that cup of tea."

His mother gave a small smile. It shocked Spock when the two women hugged, his mother had been living with Vulcan's for so long she didn't make many affectionate gestures anymore. Nyota went to the door.

" Goodbye Nyota."

" Goodbye Spock."

**Call me, Kipenzi**

**I will.**

The door closed towards him and he turned to his mother.

" Do you need nourishment before we go mother?"

" No, I just want to get back to him." A solitary tear ran down her face but she quickly wiped it away. Spock went to the kitchen and got out a bottle of water and protein bar from the cupboard so that he knew she had something and then they headed out to the hospital side by side.

* * *

It took twelve minutes for doctor Puri to come to see them In that time Spock had managed to pursued his mother to sit in the waiting room and too stop pacing and to eat and drink a little.

Doctor Puri was Spock's doctor, he had run a bundle of tests on Spock when he first arrived on Earth. He had also held a grudge against Spock ever since his first year, the doctor had insisted h do a cardiovascular check up where he laid on a bed and pumped some pedals as fast and hard as he could. Spock broke the doctor brought it up every single time he saw him, except this time.

" Commander." He nodded as he walked in the door, Spock stood up , his mother stayed sat down her exhaustion so potent that it touched the edges of Spock's mind and made him feel weary.

" What is my fathers condition?"

" He has had something akin to a heart attack. You know I'm not an expert on Vulcan physiology but there seems to be a distinct weakening in one of the valves. I have requested his records from Vulcan but they have not been sent yet," He took a deep breath. " Therefore I have had to go off population means, his heart is slow, his blood pressure is through the roof, or at least would be for a human I couldn't find the Vulcan norms for that. He's temperature is definitely low and just looking him over he's lacking that green tinge."

" That would confirm that he's heartbeat is slow, has he been conscious at all?"

" Drifting in and out, I doubt he's entirely aware of where he is."

" I wish too see him now."

" Of course."

Spock turned to his mother.

" You go, I think you need to see him on your own. "

" Mother?"

" I'll come soon."

He nodded and followed the doctor along the familiar hallways into the ward. His father was at the far end the doctor pointed it out then left him. Spock moved the curtain aside, his father was indeed pale, chalky white instead of slightly green. There were dark circles around his eyes and he looked stern even in his sleep. Spock looked at the screen above the bed, the little beeps and moving graphs confirmed what the doctor had said. His father was in a bad state, he figured that if he did not get proper medical attention from somebody who knew Vulcan physiology then his chances of surviving the week were 15.6%. He had to work out how to increase that number. Spock sat on the chair sat besides his fathers bed waiting for either his father to drift back into consciousness or his mother to arrive. After three minutes his fathers eyes flickered open. Spock stood so he would be In his fathers view.

" Father." His eyes met his for a second before flickering closed again.

" You are in the starfleet academy hospital."

" Spokh?" His fathers voice was weak.

" Are you aware of what happened to you?"

" Yes Spokh."

" Did you know of your heart condition?"

His father did not answer he seemed to have lost consciousness again.

" Father?"

" Yes, I knew."

" Mother seems to have been unaware of it."

" She worries, she is so emotional. Spokh, you must listen to me. If I die she must move back to Earth, she does not belong on Vulcan. She never belonged on Vulcan. You were so unhappy then, I saw it but I thought you should have controlled yourself better, your grandparents wanted you to play , couldn't stand that their grandson never smiled. Your mother used to cry, she said it was because you couldn't."

His words were becoming increasingly disjointed.

" Rest Father."

He heard his mothers footsteps just before she peered round the curtain, she sat in the chair and took his fathers hand.

" Has he been conscious?"

" Yes, he has been talking but he has not made much sense. I shall contact the science academy, if my assumptions are correct then he will need open surgery."

" Do you think that there's something that can be done?"

" I will research the matter."

" Amanda." Sarek opened his eyes, Amanda leaned over the bed her hand stroked down his face before entwining with his fingers.

" My Love." Sarek said.

Spock left, he felt overcome by the scene he had just witnessed, he had never seen such affection between his parents. He had never known his father loved his mother or heard such soft tones in his voice before. And what had he been trying to say to Spock? Had it just been a delirium babble fueled by pain and low oxygen levels. Spock did not remember his human grandparents, he had not seen them since he was three, he did not know if they still lived, his mother had told him once that they had stopped talking to her because they had disapproved of her marriage. Did his father truly think that his mother had never belonged on Vulcan? He did remembered the crying, he remembered when he was very young whenever he was upset he would go to his room to meditate and his mother would always have red rimmed eyes when he came back out.

Spock looked up the number for the science academy, it took 5.6 minutes for the call to connect. A familiar face appeared, he had seen this commissioner on several occasion but had not learnt of his name.

" I am Commander Spock of star fleet. I am son of Sarek, ambassador to earth and member of the science academy high council. My father has been taken ill whilst travelling to Taurus iv on a diplomatic mission, he is here at the star fleet academy Earth, San Francisco, he would not survive being moved back to Vulcan. I must ask that a doctor be sent out to tend my father as those here lack knowledge of Vulcan physiology."

The mans expression never faltered.

" I know Sarek is suffering from a cardiovascular ailment. This was to be his last mission before retirement."

Spock nodded, his father was only 92, much too young to retire, he must have suspected the severity of his illness.

" Sarek has served the academy well and would have continued as a consultant after retirement. We will organize to send a doctor but I cannot authorize any Vulcan medicine or equipment to be taken off planet until a full assessment is done. "

" I wish to convey my gratitude."

Spock shut down the link, he sat back on his sofa and sighed. The lack of Vulcan medicines and equipment troubled him, most human medicines were not suited to the Vulcan immune system and the academies knowledge and supplies of Vulcan medicine were limited. Also their surgical equipment was not as accurate and if his father did need open heart surgery he could lose a quarter if a pint of blood a minute in an operation that could last an hour. Spock's blood though the same type had human characteristics, the type, T-negative was rare it appeared in only 0.003% of the population.

Spock remembered his promise to call Nyota, he checked the time, it was past mid-night. He reached out gently with his mind and found hers, she was sleeping dreamlessly. He would not wake her it was only five hours until she would be catching her flight back to Africa, he would ring her tomorrow at her parents home.

Going to his bedroom he grabbed his all hours access card and headed to the library, he had a lot of research to do.

* * *

Tuesday.

At 10:00 Spock closed the book he had been reading, the night had not been very fruitful but he had hardly made a dent in the experimental medicines area of the library. He had a few leads on blood filtration techniques and a medicine that could increase Sarek's short term survival just long enough to find a long-term solution. He had been in the library 9 hours had not slept in 28, (which didn't make to much of a difference) and had not eaten or drunk in 14, his concentration was starting to falter and he decided that it would be better to take an hours break than to miss something vital. He made the short walk across to his apartment drunk a cup of spiced tea and ate a replicated bowl of rice and vegetables.

Checking the time and figuring that Nyota would have arrived at home within the last hour he typed the Number he had Memorized into his com-system and waited. Nyota's mother answered she was wiping her hands on a hand towel as if she had been washing or cooking something. Her face fell when she saw him and Spock had to wonder at the reason why.

" Mrs. Uhura, I hope you are well."

" Has something happened to Nyota?"

She asked her voice panicked.

" No. I was calling to ask if I may speak to her. Am I right in assuming from your reaction that she has Not arrived at your house yet?"

Mrs. Uhura's face visibly relaxed.

" No, she's not coming home. She called last night , a friend is having some sort of family problem so she stayed to check their alright."

" I understand, I will contact her at her apartment then. I apologize for the intrusion. "

" That's okay, bye commander."

" Live long and prosper." Spock replied distractedly as the screen went blank. He wondered if it was possible that another friend of Nyota's was having 'family problems' but he knew that wasn't true. He knew she had stayed for him.

* * *

His mother was drooped over the bed, half lying across it. His father was still and lifeless and looked even more pale if possible. The screen above his head showed that his heartbeat had slowed even further. Spock knelt on the floor by his mothers feet and looked up at her sleeping face, he wondered what would happen to her if Sarek, his father, died. She had served him as a loyal wife, she had left her home planet, her entire life, because she had loved him. Now, all ties she had to this world had disappeared, all friendships had fallen from decades of living planets apart. She had never made connections on Vulcan, she had talked and socialized as much as an ambassadors wife should, and as an ambassadors wife she was liked by some. But for most, she was a human and they did not respect humans, they are illogical. She would find her contacts there sympathetic at first then neglecting, here she would have to start from nothing if she wished to build a new life. Spock wondered if she could get a job at Star Fleet, they would respect her for the knowledge she had gained over the years, she had visited many non-federation worlds, had seen diplomacy at it's very best and at it's very worst. And, a lot of the staff had children at the little school connected to the academy certainly she could get her old job as a teacher back.

He reached up and touched her shoulder. She roused and looked down at him, she brushed his face lightly, tiredly.

" Spokh, always such a good looking boy." She said.

" Mother, you should go to my apartment and rest."

" I have to stay with your father."

" Doctor Puri gave him a sedative, he will be kept unconscious to keep his vitals steady. His periods of consciousness and attempts to converse were damaging him further."

Amanda sighed she looked across at her husband, Spock stood.

" Yes, I suppose he would tell me that staying here is illogical."

" I believe you are correct. The science academy has organized to send fathers physician, he will be here by tomorrow morning."

" That's good. Thank you Spokh." She looked down at her husband again. " I'm proud of you Spokh, proud of the life you've made for yourself here."

Spock did not answer, Amanda stood and he turned away as she tenderly kissed Sarek.

" I'll be back this evening Ayasham."

* * *

" I thought I'd find you here."

Spock looked up over from the journal he was browsing, he saw Nyota standing next to the table. He was happy to see her, it felt as if a little part of the tension he had been feeling had evaporated at the sight of her. Her eyes quickly took in the large files and boxes he had pulled from the library stacks, the cavernous underground room where obscure documents nobody ever requested were kept. He had spent the morning translating the results of various experiments in various languages.

" Experimental Medicine. Is your father that ill?" She asked, for some reason he did not understand himself he had not called Nyota after his conversation with her mother.

"Yes."

She sat on the chair at the other end of the table, due to the holiday the library was practically empty so they could converse without being overheard.

" I uh, I decided Not to go home after all, I've got a really complicated exam in the sensor lab on Monday and I thought I'd study for it."

Spock nodded continuing to read, even if he had not spoken to her mother he doubted that he would believe that reason.

" If you tell me what your looking for I can help."

" I do not know what I am looking for. Blood filtering techniques but I do not know what else, a solution to a problem, but I do not know what form that solution will take."

Nyota nodded slowly.

" Okay."

She got up and began to walk away.

" Nyota." He called her, she turned. He noticed for the first time the worry in her eyes.

" My mother is resting at my apartment. Will you check on her, perhaps keep her company for a short while, she would appreciate it. I would appreciate it."

Nyota nodded and gave a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.

" Of course."

She hesitated.

" Spock promise me you'll rest soon."'

Spock was about to point out he could endure days without rest but the worry in her eyes stopped him.

" As you wish."

* * *

Spock paused as the door to his apartment opened, he had heard female laughter coming from the kitchen, it seemed quite strange to him given the situation. He listened for a moment to the conversation taking place in the kitchen.

" And then he said 'this is the first time I have ever hoped a student was inebriated."

He heard his mothers laughter again.

" Yes that sounds like Spokh alright."

Spock walked very slowly to the kitchen.

" Has he ever played the lute for you?"

" Yes. He's so good."

" I know, he always was. I always used to secretly wish he'd grow up to be a poet, or something else romantic, of course there was never any real chance of that. "

This time it was Nyota who laughed.

"' Spock is romantic, it's just..."

" Well hidden?"

" Yes."

Spock arrived in the doorway in time to see his mother nod.

" Just like his father." She said sadly.

Both his mother and Nyota looked up at him then from where they were sat at opposite sides of his table drinking cups of tea.

His mother gave him a small smile but Nyota looked sheepish.

" Mother, you are looking more rested."

" Yes. Nyota has been telling me stories about you."

Spock felt his eyebrow head for his hairline and Nyota managed to look even more sheepish.

" It's taken my mind of things Spokh."

Spock's eyes were travelling to his cooker though, there was a big pot sat on the hob with a delicious aroma dispersing out from it.

" Yes, I made Plomett soup. You need to eat Spokh." His mother said affectionately.

Nyota stood up.

" I think I'll be going now."

She crossed the kitchen, then suddenly just as she reached Spock she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him on the cheek. Spock felt the tips of his ears go hot.

" Your right." Amanda said. " His ears do still go green when he's embarrassed. " Nyota gave a wicked giggle then left. Spock felt the strange hopelessness that all men experience when the two most important women in their life conspire against them. He waited till he heard the main door to his apartment close then he turned to face his mother seriously. She got up to stir the pot of soup.

" You approve?"

" Yes Spokh I approve. She's good for you. You're happy, I can see it. "

She sighed. " besides, you were never going to be my little boy forever."

She paused for a moment.

" I would have preferred not to have found out in the way I did though."

She got two bowls from out his cupboard.

" When you were a teenager I wanted to have the talk with you, but your father said Vulcan's do not talk of the birds and the bees. I'm glad to see that you've managed to figure it out on your own though."

Spock wondered just how green his ears were now.

* * *

Hope you liked it, I really wanted to do an embarrassing mum bit at the end.


	29. Donor

Sorry for the wait guys I was aiming for thanks giving but it's -17 and a half hour walk to the computer lab. This chapter is based largely upon one of my favorite episodes 'journey to Babel.'

Shameless plug, I've written two other star trek fics, what happened on Eli vii (slash), and of innocence and experience (which has a bit of Spock and Nyota in it but concentrates on Spock/Kirk friendship.)

Donor

* * *

Wednesday.

" Commander Spock, there's a message for you." An electronic voice came over the speakers. Spock looked up from the book he was translating, he thought he had finally found an answer. He stood and made his way to the nearest computer terminal. Doctor Puri's recorded face came on to the screen.

"Commander Spock, please report to my office at your nearest convenience."

This did not bode well, Spock quickly put all the books he had piled on the table onto one of the return shelves and headed towards the academy hospital. He knocked on Doctor Puri's door, Puri opened it slowly his face was stern. He opened the door wider , Spock looked into see that his mother was sat in the office. She gave him a weak smile, he could tell that she was close to tears.

"Commander Spock come in."

Spock walked in, there was that thing Nyota called an atmosphere in the room and it was not a good one. Spock sat in the extra chair, Puri went to sit back around the desk. He placed his hands on the desk his fingers joined and pointed upwards almost as if preying.

"I'm sorry to say that Sarek's health is fading fast. His physician is due to arrive here within the hour but it maybe too late to do anything. You should prepare yourselves for the worst. "

Spock nodded his head to show his understanding. He watched as his mother put her face in her hands and the tears finally came.

" Have you given him Medeotoxicrin?"

Doctor Puri's brow crinkled slightly.

" I can assure you commander Spock.."

" I was not asking for your assurances Doctor, I was asking if you had given Sarek Medeotoxrin."

" The benefits of that drug are extremely short lived."

"I am not looking for a long term solution, I am looking to explore all possible avenues, to do that I must keep my father alive until Sar'del arrives as he may have an insight into the condition that you lack."

" Commander!" Doctor Puri was clearly insulted but Spock did not have time to work around the human ego.

" Answer the question Doctor."

" No Commander."

" Do you not think it prudent.."

" Alright! I'm on it." Doctor Puri stormed out of the room.

Spock bent next to his mother placing his hand on her shoulder.

_" Doctor Puri is right that you should prepare your self so Sarek's death mother, to do so is logical. But it is also logical not to give up until all avenues have been explored."_

_She looked up at him with the slightest trace of hope._

_" Do you really think doctor Sar'del will be able to do something?"_

_"Doctor Sar'del knows more of fathers condition and more of Vulcan physiology as a whole."_

_"That wasn't what I asked Spokh."_

_" Perhaps living with humans has caused some transference."_

_" Why do you say that Spokh?"_

_" Because I can say that I have hope Doctor Sar'del will find a Cure for my father."

* * *

_

The shuttle seemed to take longer to land than usual, Spock watched it with some trepidation. His fathers physician had performed a lot of rather invasive testing on Spock when he had been younger, he had said he wished to test his limitation and had often pointed out to Spock his differences from a 'normal' Vulcan, his many weaknesses. Spock had hated him as much as his Vulcan half would allow for. When Spock had turned eight he had told his father that he refused to see Doctor Sar'del for any other tests unless he became ill. He was no longer going to be an experiment, a freak of nature that medical papers could be written about.

The steps clanged as they hit the concrete of the shuttle bay. The man who descended was tall and slim even by Vulcan standards, his face was gaunt and his skin had taken on a kind of grey tinge, he was about a hundred and seventy years old and his face had begun to develop thin little lines around the eyes and mouth.

"_Doctor Sar'del, thank you for coming."_

_"The hybrid."_ His eyes travelled up and down Spock's body unashamedly, Spock once again felt like a specimen. _"You are taller than I thought you would grow to be. If I have time after examining your father I will collect more data. Comparing it to that collected when you were a child will be of interest to me and my collogues."_ Spock felt his shoulders tense, he gave a sharp little nod, he was not agreeing but his father did not have the time it would take for him to dispute it.

_"If you will follow me I will take you to my Father."_

Sar'del nodded.

Sar'del started walking side by side with Spock but then as they passed one of the signposts for the hospital Sar'del moved to be two paces in front of Spock, the meaning of the gesture was not lost on him. In formal situations Vulcan's walk two paces behind their superiors, even on Earth and in a place where Spock held more authority Sar'del was showing him that as a half-breed he was inferior.

Amanda met them at the door to the hospital. Spock watched as Sar'del gracefully raised his hand in gesture.

" _I will regret the loss of Sarek, he is a good asset to the science academy. Live long and prosper wife of Sarek."_

_" Pearce and long life. Thank you for making the journey Sar'del. My husbands condition is beyond the abilities of the doctors here and we are all grateful for your help."_

_" I was commanded to come here, it is my duty."_

__ Amanda nodded.

She patiently fell in behind Spock as they walked into the hospital, she quietly gave Sar'del directions to the ward where Sarek was.

Doctor Puri was bent over Sarek as they walked into the ward. As he straightened Spock saw his fathers face, draw and grey as if they were too late but he knew they weren't he could hear the slow bleeping of the monitor at each heartbeat. He counted steadily for a minute as they walked towards the bed, 34 beats barely enough to keep the brain from oxygen starvation.

" Ah, Doctor Sar'del I presume." Puri said wearily eyeing up his competition.

" You have been Sarek's physician?"

" Yes, would.."

" Bring me his charts."

Puri was clearly annoyed but he lifted the PADD of Sarek's bedside table and handed it to Sar'del.

He looked over the notes for 3.45 minutes. Then he looked up at Amanda.

" I will require a quite space to think."

" I have already made arrangements."

" Doctor Sar'del." Spock interrupted planning to tell Sar'del of a drug he had found during his research.

" I believe I said I was going to go think Spokh."

Spock bowed his head.

" Indeed."

Amanda shot her son a look as she walked with Sar'del out the ward. Spock sat on the chair next to his father, he did not like being unproductive at this time, it seemed that he felt more when he was unproductive and he did not like that. A little frustrated he got up and paced back and forth for a while and then went to pick up the PADD where he had stored his research. He was reading over it as Sar'del and his mother came back into the ward.

" The heart operation is unavoidable." Sar'del announced loudly as if to a whole room of people and not just to five, one of whom was comatosed. " I will order the blood, there maybe enough stored at the embassy but I cannot guarantee it will get here in time, it is impossible to give exact time frames in these situations."

" He's saying he doesn't know how much longer your husband will hang on for." Doctor Puri stated.

" I am aware of that Doctor Puri, I have lived with Vulcan's for thirty years." Amanda said in the calm voice that Spock recognized as being the one she used right before losing her temper.

" Doctor Sar'del." Spock said he approached him holding out the PADD, Sar'del took it and immediately started reading.

" What s it Spock?" His mother asked.

" It is a new drug that increases the bodies blood production between 230 and 412%."

" It has not been tested on Vulcan's." Sar'del noted.

" The test subjects anatomy is close to that of a Vulcan's, and I myself could manufacture the compound in less than ten minutes, we have all the required substances in the academies labs."

Sar'del nodded and carried on reading, after another two minutes he looked up.

" Your father is too weak to receive the drug, I estimate that in his current condition it would result in heart failure within 7.2603 minutes."

" You will give me the drug and then give my father a transfusion of my blood whilst you operate, the human factors can be filtered out during the transfusion process."

Sar'del Nodded.

" That has a 73.4% chance of succeeding I suggest we proceed in that manner."

" Now wait a minute Spock, that drug has never been tested on Vulcan's we have no idea how it could effect you. At the very least speeding up your blood production will put tremendous pressure on your heart and strain your kidneys and pancreas. "

" I am in good health doctor and willing to take the risk."

Doctor Puri turned to his mother.

" As Sarek's next of kin you have final say on his treatment. This cause of action would risk both their lives."

Spock stood looking at his mother, back straight and arms folded behind his back, as was his usual way. She hesitated; she bit her lip in a familiar manner he had not seen since childhood. It took her 1 minute 54 seconds to decide.

" I can't do it. I can't risk losing you as well Spokh."

" Then you condemn Sarek to death."

Spock started to walk away from the group. If the decision was made then there was nothing else to do but wait for the news of his father's death and all his hours of research and translating and his being on the point of arguing with Doctor Puri had been a waste. He had failed at the last hurdle. He would now go eat, mark some assignments and wait to be summoned again; it would not bee too long now, a matter of hours at most.

He heard the hurried footsteps behind him just as he reached the door to the ward. His mother ran in front of him and catching him of guard she slapped him hard across the face. The slap itself was of no consequence, it stung but nothing Spock couldn't block out. It was the fact that his mother, usually calm and caring and in control (by human standards) had raised her hand against him. He knew that a flicker of surprise crossed his face. He looked down at her small tense frame furious and upset and pushed further than her ability to endure.

_" Don't say that, don't ever say that."_

Spock nodded slowly, he did regret his words, knowing how much pain they'd caused. His mother raised her hand to his face where she had just hit him and stroked her fingers along his face; the tears were falling freely from her eyes.

_" You are tired and emotionally compromised."_ He said softly. He reached out to hold her to him in a _rare hug._

_" I know thing's are bad when you hug me." _

_" Yes mother things are bad. Let me make the decision, let me take the responsibility off of you."_

_"Spokh."_ She shook her head as if confused. _" I hope I do not live to regret this."_ She said in agreement.

_"As do I." _

Aware that there was a small chance that this would be the last time he saw his Mother he placed a kiss to her forehead hoping she understood what it meant and then turned to face the two doctors.

" Prepare my father for surgery."

* * *

Spock pulled the strange blue garment over his head; it fell like a shift down to three inches above his knees. It was a little tight around his chest but due to the wide neck loose around his shoulders. He quickly ran through the checklist in his head, he had left a message with his department head detailing the current position he was at in his curriculum and details on where he stored his lecture notes. He asked that somebody take his lectures for the next week or till further Notice. He had sent a group message to his advanced combat and exercise students asking that they spend the time when their lessons were usually scheduled to work independently on the usual exercises covered. He had sent a message to Chris explaining why he would be missing their usual drink that evening. He had spent half an hour in meditation sectioning off and blocking the link between him and Nyota so that she would not experience any ill side effects of his operation, he recalled that when she had pinched his ear she had experienced pain and he did not want her to feel even a fraction of the pain the operation was going to cause him, especially as he would be under anesthesia and she would not. Finally, in the small chance of his death he had amended his will leaving all his books and a few other sentimental items to Nyota Uhura and programmed his computer to send her a message in a week if his death was recorded. He had allowed himself to pour feeling into the words he spoke into the small little screen, confident in the unlikeness that it would ever be sent and the fact that it was he would be dead. He spoke five simple sentences, that the message had been recorded in the case of his death, that he loved her, that she had made him happy and that he hoped that given time she would find another suitable partner. Live long and prosper.

Content that everything had been taken care of he laid back on the trolley bed. Doctor Puri moved in hyposprey in hand.

" Are you ready Mr. Spock?"

" Yes Doctor."

He thought of Nyota, he thought of her bright eyes, her wide smile, and her silken hair her long legs. He felt the coldness of metal against his skin heard the hiss of the hyposprey. He thought of her fingers running through his hair and her lips pressed against his and then he faded into oblivion.

* * *

" Steady now commander."

Spock had sat up and had felt a moment of dizziness not unlike that he had experienced when he had touched Nyota when drunk. He felt hands push him back down onto the softness he was lying on. He was aware of a period of unawareness but he didn't know how long, his body burned and ached and his head felt heavy as though filled with a sloshing fluid. His blurred vision began to focus and he saw a man before him, above him, the face was a familiar one but it took him a long moment to search through his memories to come up with the name that matched that face. Doctor McCoy, and all the bleeping and the coy medicinal scents meant he was in the hospital. Then slowly he came into the realization of why he was in hospital and all the various occurrences of the last few days. Nyota bare breasted and rubbing against him, his mother walking in on them, telling him that his father was ill. The strange sight of his father in the hospital bed and his delusional mutterings, hours spent in the library, the arrival of the strict Vulcan physician and Spock's presenting of the various materials he had found and offering himself up for the experimental procedure to save his fathers life.

" The operation?" Spock asked looking at McCoy who was staring at the monitor above the biobed and doing various things with a tricorder. Spock thought he could be more exact but words seemed to cost a great deal of energy and he was sure the doctor would understand his meaning.

" It was a success. " McCoy paused, he was looking at him as though he had never seen a Vulcan before, it was a look Spock knew but McCoy had met him on several occasions, he wondered if there was something about his appearance that was causing the strange expression. When McCoy spoke again there was softness to his voice that Spock had never heard there before and his Kansas accent seemed a lot stronger than before.

" Doctors aren't meant to say this due to fucked up liability claims and such forth but your fathers going to be fine."

" You are not his physician. "

" No, I over heard Puri and that other hobgoblin, the one with the six foot pole stuck up his arse talking. There were a lot of percentages mentioned but the bottom line is it's not likely he'll die. And it's all thanks to you, that was a brave thing you did, offering yourself up like that when you didn't know how the drugs would affect your anatomy. And I have to admit it was a brilliant idea I've read through the notes you made on how to alter the doses of the drugs and how to filter the human parts of your blood out whilst maintaining a steady transfusion and I have to say it's better than most Doctors could come up with."

Spock noted the hint of respect in McCoy voice but one statement had confused him.

"It was the only logical course of action. How did Doctor Sar'del get a six-foot pole stuck in that particular part of his anatomy? Vulcan's are not known for sexual deviancy."

McCoy started laughing so hard Spock noticed water in his eyes, the reaction irked him somewhat.

" That would be a metaphorical pole Commander."

" I see." Spock paused to think, thinking seemed to be a very time consuming and difficult to do at that particular time.

" And my current physical condition?"

" Your blood production rate is still off, which we're going to have to keep an eye on, expect somebody to draw more blood from you in a few hours."

Spock nodded.

" Your Kidneys have taken a Beating but it doesn't seem permanent, you're staying on the drip for two days and no food or drink till tomorrow evening. Your temperature and heartbeat are up but that's to do with the blood production. And, well, you're green."

Spock raised his hand to look at; his whole arm ached at the movement. His usually pale skin had taken on a light jade color with his vein showing up in darker green. He had remembered the same coloring from when he had had a severe fever as a child, and a similar but not so transparent coloring when he had gone through the blood fever during Pon Farr.

Spock rested his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, he felt weary and tired from the conversation, drained of energy. He did not remember ever experiencing such a deep weariness.

" I'll call your mother in, she asked to see you when you awoke. She's been checking in on you ever since you were brought out of the operating room."

Spock gave a short nod but did not open his eyes until he had heard McCoy's retreating footsteps, the swish of a door and what may have been three minutes later the softer more hurried footsteps of his mother.

He opened them just in time to see his mother come round the curtain patrician. Her face showed something of the stress and worry she had experienced in the last few hours. She looked tired, too old, too serious an there were light red capillaries showing in her eyes indicating she had cried recently or been triggering not to cry for a long time. She stopped her Hand resting on the curtain as if she were afraid to come closer.

_" Spokh. Son. Thank you._" Her voice was emotional and broken.

_" I only performed the most logical course of action. Logic never requires thanks."_

She walked up to him then and sat in the chair by the bed. She laid her hand on top of his and too tired to block it he felt her emotional weariness and relief filter through to him.

_" How do you feel?_" She asked.

_" Doctor McCoy tells me my kidneys have been 'battered' by which I believe he means they have had to."_

_" Spokh."_

"_ I feel hot and tired." _He admitted.

She nodded.

_" Doctor Puri assures me you'll be back on your feet in a matter of days and your father is going to make a full recovery, he may even choose to return to work though I hope he takes a year off, he needs to rest."_

Spock gave another slight nod.

" Spock! Are you dressed?" Captain Pikes voice came shouted from somewhere behind the small curtained space.

" Hello Captain Pike." Amanda replied.

Chris's hand then face appeared from behind the curtain.

" Thought I'd check in and see how the patient is doing." Chris's eyes moved around the space taking in Amanda, they widened slightly when they rested on Spock's face.

" Ha, I used to have an apartment painted that color. No Uhura?"

" Obviously." Spock answered dryly, part of him wanted her there, part of him just wanted to sleep.

" She left already?" Pike asked, rather obviously trying to hide the fact he was reading the screen above Spock to see how he was doing.

" She has not visited." Two curious pairs of eyes snapped to him and Spock sighed to tired to refrain from it.

" Though my relationship is not of either of yours concerns I realize that you will not leave me to rest unless I tell you that she has not visited because she does not know I am in the hospital."

" Spokh!" His mother said her tone scolding.

" I did not wish to cause her unnecessary worry."

" Spokh really.."

" Mother, I am to tired for this conversation."

She studied him for a moment and then sighed.

" Alright, but don't think you're getting off that easily."

She stood up, embarrassed him by placing a small kiss on his brow line and whispered to him.

" I am incredibly proud of you son."

She turned to leave; Chris raised his hand in a short goodbye.

" I am sorry that I am not fit for company."

" It's alright I was just checking you were still alive, wouldn't want to have to find a new first officer for the enterprise now that she's only a year from completion." He turned to leave and then as if he had forgotten something turned back round.

" Don't worry about your mother I'll keep an eye on her while you're in here, I'm taking her to dinner later."  
" Thank you Chris."

Then Chris left and he was finally alone. He sunk back into the wielding pillows and fell straight asleep.

* * *

Thanks giving.

Spock woke suddenly, his drowsy drug addled mind took a moment, (he couldn't work out how long in seconds so the term moment would have to suffice) to work out what had woken him, he certainly did not feel as if he had had enough sleep though a part of him knew he had been asleep a lot longer than his usual four hours as his body shut down his conscious abilities to focus energy on mending his tired pancreas and kidneys.

" Miss Uhura." He heard Doctor Puri's voice say.

Yes, she was near; he felt it now, that slight brightening of the link in his mind.

" Finally come for your hypos I see."

" No."

" You're No longer covered by last years contraception or flu jabs, really a phobia of hypospreys is ridiculous."

" Where is commander Spock?" Nyota's voice had an edge of authority he had never heard her use before.

" Family only.."

" Where Is Commander Spock?"

Her voice was now more angry than commanding, Spock wondered what had lead to her anger an insubordination."

" Cadet.." Doctor Puri began.

Spock cut him off by leaning off the Bed and grabbing the curtains, a move that tired him a lot more than it should have done. He pulled them open a foot.

" Doctor Puri, let miss Uhura stay."

It surprised him to hear his Voice sounding slightly hoarse. The doctor and Nyota turned to him. Nyota's eyes were hard and angry but something softened in them a little as they came to rest on him.

" But.." Doctor Puri began to argue, then like a man who knows there's no point in fighting a battle you're going to lose sighed and walked back towards his office muttering as he went. " Does nobody in this place listen to their doctors."

Nyota didn't Meet his eyes a she walked over, pulled the Curtains closed again so they'd have some privacy and then sat in the chair next to his bed. Spock rearranged himself so he was sitting in a shyly more dignified fashion. He tried to look at Nyota who was sat with her head hung low but her hair, void of its usual band fell in sheets hiding her face.

" Hypospreys?" He asked after another long moment waiting for her to speak or look at him. He was finding it difficult to assess her mood and he realized that in partly blocking his link to her so she would not experience any of his discomfort he had also blocked her emotions coming through to him.

" Williams." She answered quietly. Spock watched as her hand went up to wipe at her hidden eyes and came away wet. He felt a sudden pain in the vicinity of his heart that had nothing to do with the medications the drip was slowly pumping into his system.

" Why are you crying?" He asked, the thought distressing him more than it usually would as the drugs were making him less able to control his emotions.

She looked up at him, tears were running down her cheeks but her eyes didn't hold any of the softness he had spotted there minutes before. Her mouth was set into a stubborn frown. When she spoke her voice was shrill and angry but quiet as if she did not wish to be over heard.

" Why didn't you tell me?"

Spock considered the question for a moment then decided it was most likely she was referring to the operation.

" You mean that I was acting as a blood donor for my father?"

" Of course that's what I mean, what else haven't you told me?"

" Nothing of any value."

" Spock!"

"Yes? "

He was beginning to feel very tired again. He wished she would just lie next to him and sleep with him but he knew that wasn't possible, he would settle for her holding his hand or kissing his cheek, anything but being angry at him, he really didn't like her being angry with him even if it was rather beautiful how her bottom lip pouted out a little.

She sighed and looked down, it seemed her anger was starting to run out, but when she looked up again and she looked sad rather than angry he changed his mind and wanted the anger to come back.

" Why didn't you tell me Spock? I know things happened rather quickly and I know you had a lot on your mind but did you not think of me for a second, just to send me a message."'

" I thought of you, do not doubt that you occupied my thoughts."

" Then why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was now soft.

" I did not want you to worry."

" You could have died and you didn't want me to worry."

" The chances of me dying Nyota were only thirteen point one percent."

" If you weren't in hospital I'd slap you."

Spock shifted uncomfortably.

" Does the situation really warrant violence?"

She gave a little laugh through her tears.

" Yes Spock it does."

She took his hand and Spock felt a flood of warmth.

" New relationship rule, if there is ever more than a one percent chance of something killing you then you tell me about it."

" How would you like the calculations presented?"

" Spock!"

Her tone was warning.

" As you wish."

She smiled and wiped her eyes before bending over and kissing him lightly above his left eyebrow and he felt more than a little relieved.

" Just out of curiosity, how did you find out?"

" Captain Pike."

" I shall be having words with him when I have recovered enough to leave the hospital."

She wiped her eyes again.

" When will that be? Captain Pike told me you were going to make a full recovery but.."

"Doctor Puri expects I will be out of the hospital in another two days and well enough to return to my teaching duties a week after that."

Nyota Nodded.

" And your father?"

" The operation was a success but he is likely to be in hospital for another two weeks, I believe Puri's estimates are incorrect though, my father is a full Vulcan and his recovery time should be relatively fast."

Nyota nodded slightly. Spock felt his eyes close of there own accord for a moment, he fought to open them again.

" Are you still angry at me?"

Nyota nodded slowly.

" A little."

" I do not like you being angry at me."

" You deserve it. " She sighed. " But I'll forgive you." Her hand Brushed lightly through his hair. " I can't stay angry at you when you're this ill."

" I am sorry Nyota." He said, and he was, seeing her reaction had shown him how misjudged keeping it from Nyota had been.

" Okay." She gave a weak smile. " Now I do forgive you." She bent over and kissed him on the forehead again, when she leaned back her fingers continued to stroke his hair, Spock found it somehow comforting.

" You look tired."

" My body is trying to go into a healing trance to speed up my recovery."

She nodded.

" Do you want me to leave?"

" No, but I must rest now."

" Okay, I'll stay and watch over you as you sleep."

Spock thought of saying that it was unnecessary but he felt that even in his sleep Nyota's presence would be a comfort to him.

" Thank you Nyota."

Spock looked at her beloved face for a few moments before closing his eyes, feeling more at peace than he had since he had learnt of his father's illness. Just on the edges of his consciousness before he fell asleep he thought he heard softly whispered Vulcan.

_"I love you Spock, I love you so much."

* * *

_

Friday

Spock leaned on his friends arm as he sat back down on the bed. Chris had come to help him 'clean up' for his 'surprise Birthday." His mother and Nyota were planning to visit him in hospital in half an hour, Chris in his infinite wisdom had brought Spock proper clothes so that he could avoid the apparently necessary quarter of a century birthday pictures being of him in the way to short blue hospital gown. Spock had felt a warmth towards his friend at the gesture that was reminiscent of his feelings when he had first meet Nyota, he decided it was caused from coming down off the multiple drugs he had been on over the last few days and put the confusing emotion to the back of his mind.

Chris left twenty-two minutes before Nyota and His mother were due to arrive. Apparently he had to 'maintain the surprise for the ladies', he had told Spock to look surprised when they arrived, Spock had raised his eyebrow and Chris said 'that'll do'.

Spock tried to clear his head whilst he waited, he still felt slightly groggy but he found his sleeping patterns were starting to return to normal and he was more able to control his emotions than he had been since the operation.

Twenty-two minutes later he heard footsteps, there was the whiff of raspberries and perfume and the little light in the back of his mind tingled.

His mother whipped the curtain open rather enthusiastically, Nyota and Christopher hung behind, and Nyota was holding three balloons red, blue and yellow, his mother was holding a large shopping bag.

" Oh good you're awake." His mother said.

" Surprise." Nyota said with a sheepish smile, he could tell that she was uncertain whether he would appreciate them celebrating his birthday.

" Brightly colored rubber matrixes filled with helium? As I was not expecting them I guess it is a surprise."

Nyota gave a small smile she walked over to the side of the bed, bent and brushed her lips in a light kiss against his jaw line.

" You're cute when you're drugged."

Chris's eyebrows shot up . Spock's mother busily straightened her skirt and sat on the chair placed next to the biobed.

" Am I right in assuming that this is in celebration of the anniversary of my birth?"

Chris gave a little nod of approval.

" Of course Spock." Amanda said gently.

" We have not celebrated the anniversary of my birth in fifteen years."

" Yes, well, when you were eleven you said that it was frivolous. But quarter of a century of life is worth a drink and a couple of balloons."

" If you wish mother."

Amanda reached down into the bag, she began to being out three packages of different sizes all wrapped in different decorative paper. She handed one to Nyota, and one to Chris, then she brought out four cups and a bottle. Spock looked at it curiously.

" Neewa fruit juice?"

" Your favorite."

His mother answered, Neewa was a type of fruit that was grown in orchards on Vulcan. The juice made from it had been a sort of favorite of Spock's when he was a child it was a little bitter and citrus and tangy. His mother poured the purple juice into four cups, she handed the first one to Spock and he took a sip of the familiar liquid triggering memories of reading in his mother's garden.

He watched Chris hold his hand up to refuse the second cup, Nyota took it, and she sipped it cautiously and winkled her nose.

" Now, don't complain." His mother said handing him a large cylinder shaped package in plain green paper. She handed it to Spock, it felt plush under the cracker ling paper. He looked at it for a moment, he felt slightly uncomfortable.

" Open it Spock."

" Yes mother."

Spock found the tape holding the paper together and carefully removing it, revealing red fabric underneath. He pulled off the paper and carefully folded it and placed it at the end of the bed before looking down at the red cylinder, it was a rolled up meditation mat a meter squared in diameter and an inch and a half thick, it was secured with black straps. He looked up at his mother.

" I know you still have the one you came to earth with."

" It is quite worn." Spock admitted pleased that the gift was something he would have attained for himself within a year or so.

" Thank you mother."

Nyota shifted uncomfortably, she did not look at him as she stretched her hand out holding a thin rectangular package in silver paper. Spock brushed his fingers quickly against hers to reassure her as he took it from her. He methodically removed the paper, itching to rip it when he recognized the item enclosed as a very old looking book. Finally divulged of it's wrapping Spock turned the little brown book over In his hands taking in the eighty or so fragile yellowing pages and ruined spine. He looked over it's cover and read the faded black Vulcan script ''Expression of bonding" rare Vulcan love poetry. Spock set his face to it's usual stoic expression, the gift was perfect, something he would enjoy reading, something that would make him think of Nyota when she was not close to him and he knew that it must have been difficult to find and Nyota had looked hard for it making it all the more precious, which was strange in it's own right, most thing Spock owned were useful in someway but held no personal connection to him, but this book he would treasure.

" Thank you Nyota." He said carefully laying it at the side of him. Nyota's eyes meet his for a second, uncertainty expressed in them.

**I shall enjoy reading it, I shall treasure it. **

She gave her wide beautiful smile.

" They're at it again." Chris commented. Spock looked at him his eyebrow raised he wondered if it was clear to everybody when he and Nyota were conversing telepathically. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed his Mother give a small fond smile.

" Go easy on them Chris, it's strange yet wonderful when you're first able to hold secret conversations with your bond," she hesitated knowing that he and Nyota were not bondmates, not quite, the link between them did not fit into the normal parameters of the Vulcan stages of bonding but it was not yet a full bonding. "With the person you're linked too."

" I'm just worried that if it's obvious to me then it'll be obvious to everybody."

" You know Spock better than most, too most people it'll just look like he's daydreaming."

Chris gave his deep throaty chortle.

" I doubt anybody would believe that Vulcan's daydream."

" But they do, admittedly it's usually about large complex equations but they do daydream."

" Mother." Spock said trying to move the conversation away from Vulcan minds, it was a rather private topic that most Vulcan's did not like revealing to the universe at large. Spock had to wonder over the freeness of his mother's conversation with Christopher Pike. As an ambassadors wife she had learnt to stay clear of the topics that Vulcan's found vulgar, especially vulgar to reveal to other species. He wondered just how much time they had spent together over the last few days and whether his mother worried for her husband and starved of Human company had form some kind of friendship with Chris, they were the same age and they had both travelled around numerous federation planets. He could not begrudge his mother any comfort at this time but he had to wonder if they had talked about him. The idea made him uncomfortable.

" Yes Spock?"

"Is there anything else I must do to fulfill the requirements of this tradition?"

" Yes Spock, Captain Pike still hasn't given you his gift and I thought we could go visit your father as he's having periods of consciousness."

" I do not see how my visit will increase his recovery."

" You're going Spock."

" But.."

" You're going Spock."

" Yes mother."

Chris turned away but not before Spock saw the wide smile on his face. Nyota covered her mouth with her hand but her eyes danced with mirth.

Chris handed him an unwrapped plain black box and PADD that he turned on to find that the assignments he had meant to mark on Wednesday had been uploaded onto it.

" I know you hate to be unproductive for some very logical reason I never understood."

Spock thanked him and opened the lid of the box to find it was filled with twenty different shaped chocolates, all of different shades of drown, a few white, some topped with nuts others colored swirls or crystallized fruit. Spock felt the tips of his ears begin to warm. His mother averted her eyes, it was a well-known Vulcan secret that not only did the sucrose and other elements of chocolate cause a lack of inhibitions similar to drunkenness but was also a powerful aphrodisiac.

" Use them wisely." Chris said.

" Mother, Nyota would you care for a chocolate?"

" Oh Yes!" His mother said excitedly, chocolate was a rarity on Vulcan and like most human women she found it more enjoyable than most other foods.

" I would say that was a wise use of them." Chris said. Amanda took the box off of him and took a chocolate when he handed it to Nyota he watched her looking over them, picked up a dark looking circle then lifted it to her lips to bite it in half. His eyes met hers and she blushed seeming to know of his close examination and swift flair of arousal at her consumption of the dark chocolate, an arousal that was quickly pushed away.

" Your color seems a lot better today, less flushed." Nyota commented when she had swallowed the chocolate.

" I am recovering quickly. I still find myself fatigued by activity but much less so than yesterday."

Nyota nodded and for a moment Spock wished it was just the two of them there and that they could speak and act freely with one another and he could take her into his arms and hold her cool body close to his and bury his nose in that soft scented skin of her neck.

" If you're growing fatigued perhaps we should go see your father now before you're to tired."

Spock nodded in agreement.

" Nyota, Christopher, thank you for your visit, I apologize for its shortness."

"I understand." Chris clapped his hand briefly on Spock's shoulder. He turned to leave.

Spock glanced quickly at his mother, she seemed to understand his desire.

" I'm going to go check your father's ready to receive you."

Spock waited till she left before turning to Nyota ,he felt his lips twitch in the slightest of smiles, and he held his hand up, two fingers raised. Nyota's smile widened and he felt his heart beat faster, the beeping computer screen registered it. Nyota gave a small laugh.

" Careful." She said as she placed a hand on his cheek and joined her fingers with his sending him a flood of warm tingling affection.

" You wouldn't want to alert the doctors, would you?" Her tone was teasing.

" No, Nyota, most definitely not." She bent down and captured his lips in a demure and subtle kiss that despite its gentleness made him feel like his blood was boiling with desire for her. She pulled away after only a few seconds and Spock had let her, he was already remembering the feel of the plump flesh of her breasts against his mouth. Which was an entirely unsuitable thing to think about in a hospital bed with a monitor recording his every physical reaction.

" You do like the book then?" She asked perching on the edge of his bed fingers still working up and down his in a distracting fashion.

" I do, when I am well I will sit with you on my lap and I will read them to you."

She smiled and brushed her free hand lazily through his hair.

" I'd like that. I was so unsure how you'd react, I mean you only told me when your birthday was because I asked, and I thought that you'd be okay with just the three of us, and with you being in hospital on your birthday.." She broke off waiting for him to reply.

" I do not mind it. " He took her hand and kissed her fingertips she gave a little shudder.

" I only hope that whilst I have been detained here my mother has not been teaching you how to coerce me."

Nyota gave her deep little laugh.

" Oh, I don't think she needs too. I'm pretty sure I'll come up with my own methods given time."

Spock was about to answer when there was a little clearing of the throat sound from outside the curtain walls.

" It appears it is time for me to visit my father. I shall talk to you at greater length tomorrow. "

"Okay." Her tone was sad and he too felt regret at having to part from her so soon. She bent down and kissed him lightly then turned to leave. Spock watched her go as his mother came back round the curtain.

" I would bring you a wheelchair but I know you'd refuse it."

" I can walk mother." Spock said swinging his bare feet down onto the cold floor. He swayed slightly as he stood but managed to keep upright and take a few slow careful steps to reach his mother. She linked her arm with his and he felt a light embarrassment at the thought that she felt he needed her support despite her being over a foot shorter than him and eight times weaker physically.

They walked down the middle of the ward, his father had been kept in a smaller and empty ward that adjoined it, it was kept for overfill purposes and in Sareks case had been used so that the doctors would have plenty of space to maneuver if there was an emergency.

As they walked his mother seemed to be mulling something over, Spock had always been able to tell when she wanted to say something but was thinking carefully about the wording.

_" Speak your mind mother."_

_" She's a nice girl."_

_" If you are talking of Nyota then I'd agree with you."_

_" Spock, Don't screw it up, I want grandkids someday."_

Spock felt his eyebrows shoot up without his willing them to.

_" Don't be proud or stubborn and don't try to protect her from thing's she doesn't need protecting from."_

They went through the door to the small wing, Spock immediately saw his father. Sarek was sat up in bed though he looked pale and gaunt and was hooked up to far more monitors and medicinal drips than Spock had been. His face was still as stern as ever, Spock felt himself straighten, and he walked with a lot more confidence and pride as if he were escorting his mother somewhere. He almost declined when Amanda offered him the seat next to the bed but seeing the stony look in her eyes decided it would be pointless. He meet his fathers eyes and tried to draw in all ridicule emotions and squash them.

_" Hello Father."_

_" Son."_

_"Sarek, It's the anniversary of Spokh's birth to day."_

_" Indeed, twenty-five years standard, is it not."_

_" Indeed, mother has provided me with a new meditation mat in celebration of the occasion."_

There was a softening around Sarek's eyes as he looked at his wife. Spock wondered if it had always been there, how could he have missed it?

_" Your mother has always enjoyed the giving of gifts even when there seems to be no reason for them."_

_" Isn't to make me happy reason enough?"_

His father let out a little out take of breath not quite a sigh.

_" You are a most illogical woman."_

_" I know dear."_ Spock looked away, if before there was softness to his fathers face now there was an open affection between his parents. It was almost intimate in its intensity and Spock felt quite uncomfortable.

_"Spock's partner gave him a book of Vulcan poetry."_ His mother said bringing the conversation back on track.

His father's eyebrow twitched though he did not show any other outwards signs of shock or curiosity.

_" You have found a replacement for T'pring?"_

_" I believe so, we have an engagement bond though it did not occur in the traditional way and I have not yet asked her to fulfill the bonding ceremony. I believe that given sufficient time to..'date' she will accept a proposal."_

Sarek nodded slowly.

_"She is human then."_

_"A lovely girl Sarek._" His Mother answered. _" Very clever and as logical as any human can be, she speaks our dialect perfectly and she told me that she's read the teachings of Surek."_

Sarek, turned his attention back to Spock.

_" It was the same with your mother and I. The bonding between a Human and Vulcan seems to occur naturally if both are open to it and given prolonged contact. "_

Spock was curious, he had never heard his parents talk of how they had met or any indication that the bond between them was not created in the traditional ceremony. The knowledge made him feel somewhat more comfortable in his relationship with Nyota, he was not treading completely new ground. He was also relatively pleased that his father was not totally against him pairing with a human. As a child his father had spent a lot of time making arrangements between their family and T'pring's, he had lectured Spock a great deal on the unifying of two great bloodlines and how he had to work hard to appear fully Vulcan if he wanted full acceptance by T'pring's family.

_" I was not aware of that your and mothers bond was not made in the usual ceremony."_

His mother gave a short laugh and looked down.

_" Oh, our bond happened in the most humanly way possible."_

Spock watched the slight coloring come back to his fathers face, he was a little surprised, and he could not recall ever seeing his father blush before. Realization drawing on him he felt his own ears go hot.

_" Amanda, I am not comfortable with this conversation and I feel wearied by it."_

_" I think I shall leave the both of you now, I need to rest if I plan to return to my duties on Monday." He stood to leave and held his hand up._

_" Live long and prosper."_

_" Peace and long life Spokh."_

_" Sarek! Aren't you going to thank your son for saving your life."_

_" Mother it was the most logical course of action."_

_Sarek shifted uncomfortably in the bed. _

_" I was impressed with the solution you found."_

_" Thank you."_

Spock walked away, he couldn't be a hundred percent positive but he had the distinct feeling that his father was proud of him.

* * *

Love it, hate it, review it.


	30. Bowling and bended knees

This chapter is more about Spock's relationship with his mother but it's the last chapter with Spock's parents in (the last time he actually sees his mother before the movie events) and the next chapter will be wholly Nyota and Spock.

Note: I know I've made Spock into a bit of a mummy's boy but the way I see it is that as a half-human Spock needs affection, maybe not as much as a human but definitely some and definitely when he was a child even if he did try to turn away from it. Living with Vulcan's his mother was the only one who ever gave him that affection so he became rather willing to please her to gain that affection even if he hated himself for needing it. Also as a half-human amongst Vulcan's his mother was the only one who was ever truly accepting of his human aspects, his whole nature which is why he goes to her to ask her questions that it may seem strange for a young man to ask of his mother.

Another authors note: Poetry was never my strong point .

* * *

Sunday.

"Bondmate

She who is graceful.

She who has clear sight.

She whose company is most pleasing.

She who is as caring as a mother, when care is needed.

She whose companionship is a sweet as a sisters.

She who is the loyalist of friends.

She who is not withholding as a lover.

She who will share the intimacy of thoughts.

She who does not judge when judgement is poor.

My ashayam.

My T'hy'la.

She is worthy of love in all it's illogical fashions."

Nyota gave a soft sigh as he finished reading the poem from the book she had given him on his birthday. He loved her rare little soft sighs of contentment. Her little unconscious way of saying she was so happy, so relaxed that words weren't necessary just that pleasing little noise. She nuzzled against him slightly, he was lying flat on his sofa and she was lying half next to half on top of him. Her hand resting over his heart, her head on his chest and he had wrapped one arm round to hold her firmly just under her breasts and the other held the book aloft so that he could read it. After four days in a hospital bed on a ward that was kept below his preferred temperature and being poked and prodded he could probably be persuaded to admit that he was happy at this moment. He gently kissed the top of Nyota's head to let her know how happy he truly was to be alive, to be free from the hospital and to be with her once more. Able to hold her and touch her without being weary of the doctors or nurses wondering why a Cadet was visiting a Commander, he had over heard Nurse Chapel say Uhura was one determined girl to be stalking her professor after an experimental and somewhat dangerous operation. Spock was happy about this, if they were thinking she was an over determined student then that was a lot better than gossiping that there was maybe something going on between the two of them. Then again maybe that was just nurse Chapel, he was aware that she was attracted to him, not only had he felt it in skin to skin contact but said contact had occurred when she had, after a very determined persuasive rant finally got him to submit to a sponge bath, and she had been entirely too happy about the whole thing.

" That's a passionate poem, you told me once that you did not know that Vulcan's were capable of love."

Spock remembered his fathers eyes as they took in his mother as he lay in bed delirious from illness. He thought of when he and Nyota were on Vulcan watching her walk in the cave her eyes alight and intent as she took in the cave paintings and of brushing the sand slowly from her hair as she recovered from the sandstorm and the exhausting heat of the day .

" I now know them to be fully capable my T'hy'la. The passion is just deeply hidden."

* * *

The first Sunday of December.

Nyota straightened her blue robes for the forth time in twenty minutes.

" Nyota, worry serves no logical function." He said calmly, it did not have it's desired affect her eyes darted to him in panic.

" Oh God, is your father going to hate me because I'm nervous and that's illogical?"

"No, I am merely stating that you will be more efficient at your task and less likely to make mistakes if you remain calm."

" You're right I don't want to burn the plantains."

Nyota put a hand on her forehead. He could feel the stress emanating from her In waves. It was his mother who had suggested that Sarek and Nyota meet, it was Nyota who had suggested that she cook a meal for the four of them in Spock's apartment. She had been contented and confessed to wanting to get to know his parents when she had made the suggestion three days ago. Two days ago the panic had began, she did not only wish to know Sarek but to be accepted and perhaps even liked by him. The panic emulated from the fear that Sarek would not like her nor accept her but disapprove of her so much that he would try to intervene in her and Spock's relationship. Nyota did not appreciate it when he told her her fears were illogical, that she probably would never actually know what his father thought of her as he was not at liberty to share such opinions and that perhaps her higher stress levels and somewhat neurotic actions were partly to do with the fact that she was menstruating. She had ended that conversation rather abruptly by slamming the door of his office, or rather kicking the door with her heel once it had closed to make a noise like a slamming door, Sometimes Spock forgot that his girlfriend was a teenage human.

Yesterday she had called him panicking now about the meal she was going to cook, she had chosen some spicy African dishes spinach with peanuts, a type of vegetarian curry with flat corn breads and plantains followed by grilled chili and saffron pineapples sprinkled with powdered coconut. Spock had agreed that the menu sounded appetizing but Nyota had asked him to go shopping with her so that she didn't pick out any ingredients that his father would be allergic to, he tried to point out Vulcan's didn't have allergies and could stomach practically anything But then gave up and agreed to go

shopping with her. They met outside a shop on the other side of San Francisco to avoid being seen. As they walked around the shop picking out produce they had talked of their favorite childhood foods and those that brought specific memories when they ate them, like for Nyota grilled orange segments made her think of hot summer afternoon BBQ's with her uncle and father fighting over whose turn it was to man the coals and her cousins and her running races and trying to catch fireflies once the sun had finally set. For Spock crystallized ginger brought back memories of being three years of age and his mother giving him lots of new untried foods that she had had imported from earth. She smiled each time he found something he liked, the widest smile had been when he'd asked if she could import more of the crystallized ginger.

Now he was stood in his kitchen watching Nyota carefully measure out spices and occasionally stop to worry about whether she should add extra salt or whether it would be spicy enough. He wished to touch her and send her a calming influence but her hands were constantly at work so he could not do it overtly.

" Have you put up the table?"

Spock nodded he had moved his sofa and coffee table to put up a folding dining table as the one in his kitchen only sat two and that was uncomfortably.

Nyota grabbed the bag she had brought with her and went Into the front room. Spock followed her watching as she put a white cloth over the table and set up some plain white candles. Spock watched her busy efforts for a minute and then walked over her. He reached out and took her hand as she smoothed the table clothes, she moved as if about to turn around to face him.

**Calm Nyota.**

He sent feelings of tranquility to her and felt her body relax she leaned her back against him, his arms immediately wrapped around her stomach. Knowing he would not get the chance to touch her again tonight he placed three soft lingering kisses down her neck and she leaned her head against his shoulder to give him better access to her sweet skin. This time he was facing the door when it suddenly opened revealing his mother, luckily his father was not in view and therefore could not see them. Spock took a step back from Nyota and flustered she rushed into the kitchen quickly saying something about overcooked vegetables.

" Really Spokh, this time you knew we were coming."

" Your timing as always mother is impeccable."

As his mother walked in his father now looking almost the right color and far less drawn than when Spock had seen him five days previously for another mandatory (according to his mother) visit appeared in the doorway.

_" Father, I am glad you have recovered enough to leave hospital."_

_" Yes, it is difficult to be productive when you are forced to be in bed all day but unproductiveness is essential at the first stages of recovery."_

_" May I inquire as to your plans now regarding returning to Vulcan?"_

_" I must wait a week before attempting the journey, I have been ordered by Doctor Puri to 'take it easy' , he insisted on long periods of rest and that activity be infrequent and short. I do see the logic in his recommendations and therefore I shall follow them " _

Amanda stepped forwards she glanced at Sarek before turning her full attention to Spock.

_" Though, I thought maybe we would make a little holiday of it. It's been thirty years since I've had a Christmas on Earth and if you didn't have any plans we could spend it as a family."_

Spock considered it for a moment, he considered how his fathers illness had led them to speak to each other after six years of near silence and how he had seen his mother on three short occasions since relocating to Earth. To have them in the same town for anther three weeks could be pleasant.

_" No mother I do not have plans."_

_"It's settled then, a family Christmas."_

_Spock felt a slight tingling in his mind, it was an inquiry._

_**Yes Nyota come in now.**_

_He turned as she walked into the front room showing the same grace and poise and apparent (though he could sense nervousness she was doing a good job of hiding it) confidence that had struck him the first time he had ever seen her._

_" Father this is she to whom I am bonded Miss Uhura."_

_"Sarek, it is an honor to meet you." She said clearly bowing her head and holding her hand up in the traditional Vulcan salute. " May you live long and prosper."_

_" And you, Miss Uhura chosen of my son."_

_Nyota turned and curtsied to his mother._

_" Lady Amanda, it is good to see you again. I hope you are well."_

_" Yes dear, you look lovely."_

_Nyota blushed slightly. _

_" Thank you. Would you like some drinks?"_

_" I require water." _

_His father answered going to sit at one of the four chairs laid at the table._

_" And the same for me." Amanda added._

_" I shall help you finish the preparation of the meal." Spock said. Nyota nodded she stayed where she was and as Spock walked into the kitchen followed him two steps behind._

_**How am I doing?**_

_**You are behaving as a well raised Vulcan female would **_

_**That's good right?**_

_**If you are trying to gain my fathers approval then yes.**_

_**There's a but there.**_

_**But I am glad you do not always act like a well raised Vulcan female.**_

She smiled. Nyota added the finishing touches to the food and started to put it into serving dishes as Spock finished setting the table. Amanda came in to help them carry all the dishes into the front room. Spock could see Nyota glancing nervously up at his father as he tried the foods he himself knew that the spicy and salty foods were both nutritiously balanced and pleasing to the Vulcan palate.

_" This is delicious Nyota, did your mother teach you how to cook?" _Amanda asked.

_" It is pleasing." _His father added and although Spock felt a wave of relief coming from Nyota her neutral expression did not falter.

_" Yes, my family have always placed an importance on pleasing food and gathering together at meal times."_

_" It is nice to have family dinners."_

Sarek put down his fork and looked thoughtfully at Nyota for a long moment.

_" You are the cadet that accompanied Spock to Vulcan 2.3 months ago."_

_" Yes."_

_" You speak our dialect well."_

_" Thank you."_

_" The observation is true, thanks is not necessary. Have you spent time on Vulcan?"_

_" Only that one visit."_

He nodded.

_" As you have adopted the accent Into your speech I assume you speak it often."_

_" Over the last year yes, I originally learned the language three years ago but did not get a chance to converse in it before I came under Spock's tuterledge "_

Sarek again nodded thoughtfully he took a few fork full of the food before speaking again.

_" As ambassador I have been in contact with star fleet on numerous occasions, I believed that there were rules about student teacher fraternizing."_

Spock and Nyota shared a look.

_" There are Sir, but due to the wording of the rules and the nature of our relationship we have skimmed around them."_

_" Skimmed around them?"_

_" Well, we share a bond and bonds are.. more than engagement less than a marriage." _She glanced nervously at Spock and he gave a slight nod. It pleased him to hear her say those words, it was as if there was an understanding between them that had never been voiced.

_" So as we're neither and we don't fit into any of the usual boxes I think half of those rules don't apply to us." _Nyota finished. Amanda burst out laughing, when her husband looked over at her she reached over to briefly touch his hand.

_"Sarek don't you remember the number of 'rules' you broke to marry me T'pau took twenty years to accept me as a member of her family. "_

_" I do recall."_

_"Good, now stop making the girl nervous."_

_" That was not my intention, I was merely inquiring as to whether Star Fleet was accepting of there bond."_

_" Father, I believe that if the need ever arises I can enlighten Star Fleet on the nature of Vulcan bonds and convince them that their rules need revising. I am the first Vulcan to join therefore there is no precedent, I have the opportunity to set the precedent."_

Sarek nodded. They continued eating in silence Spock was fully aware that Nyota kept shooting him worried glances.

**Do not worry Ashayam. It is not customary to speak during meals on Vulcan. He has done so to satisfy Human customs. **

When they had finished the main meal and all had at least tried the pineapple desert that delighted his mother as sweet things often did Amanda glanced at her husband in a way that Spock recognized as them sharing a brief telepathic conversation. Then turned to Nyota.

" That really was lovely dear you will have to share the recipe for that desert with me.

" I'll send it to you, it's actually very simple."

"I look forwards to it, Spock dear will you help me clear the table?"

"Oh I'll.." Nyota started getting up.

" No dear, you sit down we'll do it."

Nyota seemed to crumble back into the chair. She looked apprehensively at Sarek for the first time in the evening her emotion clear on her face.

Spock 'accidentally' brushed her fingers as he reached for the left over spinach. Leaving Nyota in the front room alone with his father. In the kitchen his mother was already putting the left overs in plastic tubs. Spock stood very close to her and whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

" Are you sure that it is wise to leave father and Nyota alone?"

" Yes, I told him if he made her cry I would ask for a separate room."

"Nyota does not cry except in extreme circumstances."

" Well then, I guess we will be sleeping in the same bed tonight."

"Mother.."

She held her hand up to stop him.

" I have had the chance to spend time alone with her and to get to know the woman that my son has chosen to give himself to. Now let your father have that same chance it'll only take ten minutes to wash these dishes."

" There is a sanatisor unit under the replicator."

"' I know but we're going to wash them by hand anyway."

Spock tried to hurry as he washed the dishes but his mother slowed the process down by lingering over the drying and putting away, he had to wonder if she did it purposefully. He kept his mind on Nyota's emotions and she did not seem to be any more stressed than she had the rest of the evening and there were some hints of excitement and interest coming from her as well. His mother had purposely closed the door so that he could not hear the topic of conversation only the muttering of voices. When his mother finally put the last of the dishes away he felt somewhat relieved.

Nyota and his father were in rapid and intense discussion, well rapid and intense for a conversation where one of the members was a Vulcan, that is his father was speaking at a speed of fifteen more words a minute than usual and did not look bored, in fact at the moment Spock walked into the room his eyebrow had been slightly raised.

**Nyota?**

**I think everything's okay**

He went and sat back at the table followed by his mother who was smirking again.

_" If emotions are not allowed on Vulcan why have the words for them not become extinct? Languages can only express thing's that exist to the user or can be imagined by the user. There are words in all Vulcan dialects for passion, love, admiration , lust, affection, longing." Nyota was saying._

_" If there are names for them so we can guard against their illogical effects. Vulcan's are born with emotions they are just taught to suppress them as they mature, it is not that it is wrong to experience emotions merely to let yourself be influenced by them in anyway."_

_" But aren't emotions and their influences needed for the survival of the species, to find a mate."_

Sarek looked very discreetly at Spock. Then turned back to Nyota who had obviously seen the loaded look.

_" These are not things we discuss with outsiders."_

Nyota opened her mouth as if to speak.

**Do not question him further **

She sent him a reproachful look but did as he asked.

_" I must return to my quarters now rest."_

Sarek said standing up. Everybody else at the table also got up from their chairs. Sarek turned as he reached the doorway.

"_ It has been an agreeable evening."_

_" I agree."_ Spock answered, then held his hand up.

_"Father, Mother may you Live long and prosper."_

_"And you."_ Sarek answered, then turned his attention to Nyota.

" May you have success in your studies." Sarek walked out the door, Amanda quickly leaned in and kissed Nyota on the cheek whispering 'he likes you' as she did so, then they both had left and Spock and Nyota were alone.

He felt her weariness through the link and opened her arms just as she stepped forwards to be held by him. She buried her head in his shirt and let out a sigh of relief.

"How did it go?" She asked him.

"Well, you did not falter. I believe you may have taken a large step in earning his respect and he does not disapprove of you."

She sighed again.

" Good, I never thought I'd be doing met the parent Vulcan style."

* * *

The second Sunday of December.

He looked into her eyes and kissed her lips sweet and sticky with some kind of make-up that she only wore on rare occasions. He tried to savor the seconds away to be able to draw on them over the next few weeks. He glided his fingers through her silken hair then knowing the time was near forced himself to move away again.

There were unshed tears in Nyota's eyes.

" I know it's only a few weeks, but it feels like we only said goodbye for summer yesterday."

"A day will come when we'll never be truly parted but for now take Comfort in the fact that you can contact me when ever you wish."

She nodded and drew herself straighter she raised her hand fingers outstretched and he touch his own to hers feeling that wonderful warmth and tingling and electricity. She gave a weak smile and turned to leave his apartment only glancing back briefly when he told her he would be awaiting her call.

Then she was gone again only that little glimmer of her remained in his mind, he went and took an electronic book from the pile he had got from the library too read over the break and sat down in Nyota's favorite chair, it still had the faintest smell of perfume to it. He took a moment then cleared his mind and begun to read about the new water filtration system they were installing in the Enterprise.

* * *

_Dear Spock,_

_Arrived safely back in Africa. My brother came specially to greet me, Akina has grown and babbles none stop, I think she recognized me as she wasn't at all shy when I went to hold her. I hope you are well.

* * *

_

_Dear Nyota,_

_I am glad you arrived home safely and are happy in the presence of your family.

* * *

_

_Dear Nyota, _

_Chris has introduced me to jaffa cakes, I believe that they have high levels of sucrose as I feel strangely strange._

_I just felt I should tell you that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I have desire for you, will you wear that champagne dress and talk in Orion whilst firing a phaser for me? And perhaps eating some chocolate, well you cannot do both at the same time you only have two hands and you should use two hand for firing a phaser, Do you know that the women of Seti Alpha nine have three hands, it is a fascinating evolutionary adaptation, I want to see your breasts again.

* * *

_

_Dear Spock,_

_You really got drunk on Jaffa cakes?

* * *

_

_Dear Nyota,_

_My sincerest apologizes. I should not have 'drunk txted' you. Christopher did try to stop me as he tried to stop me after the fourth of the cakes but I found them strangely addictive. I will make a note never to consume them again.

* * *

_

_Dear Spock,_

_After I fell on top if you, propositioned you and almost threw up on you the one time I have ever been inebriated you are quite forgiven for a strange message, at least now I know you like to watch me speaking Orion and firing a phaser. I already knew about the dress and the chocolate. At least you made me laugh and I'm really in need of a laugh right now._

_Nyonda has paid a 'surprise'' visit, that's obviously a set up by my mother. She's being simply horrid, she keeps making snide and xenophobic remarks and every time I start to argue with her she threatens to tell Mother that she suspects I'm be 'used' and 'seduced' by a young Vulcan commanding officer who everybody knows has telepathic abilities. She thinks I'm being naïve and that you are controlling me somehow and that I'm throwing my career away. She says Star Fleet should be solely for the protection of Humanity against alien threats and they should not be protecting other cultures unless those cultures make good minors for precious ores. Father is starting to catch on to her attitude problems but mother has never been very clear sighted when it comes to her. I love you and I miss you Kipenzi.

* * *

_

_Dear Nyota,'_

_I wish to call you but do not know if it is wise as your sister could answer and take the fact I am calling as confirmation of my attachment to you. I do not think it wise that she is given any evidence to confirm we are in a relationship believe she would have no qualms reporting us to Star Fleet. I know that I am not the direct cause of these problems but still I am sorry that a connection to me brings you pain in any way. Please, if there is any family member you can trust to reveal this too who could help you deal with your sister then do so, I will talk to your father and tell him my intentions are honorable if you wish. Otherwise I can only suggest avoidance. I do not like to think of you unhappy or tormented. _

_I miss your presence my precious one, guard yourself well.

* * *

_

Christmas day

_Dear Spock._

_Merry Christmas, send my best wishes_

_to your parents.

* * *

_

_Dear Nyota,_

_I will do so, merry Christmas.

* * *

_

"_Tinsel is the most frivolous of human inventions. It serves no purpose except to be attractive to the eye and then it is only allowed to be In sight for three weeks of the year."_

_" Spock, it's a fake recyclable tree I'm not going to let go on the tinsel or the lights."_ His mother answered.

Spock turned back to the tree he stood on the second rung of the stepladder and started to wrap the gold tinsel round the tree once it circled it in an exact clockwise spiral he took the red string of tinsel from his father and did a parallel spiral. Next the little white lights in a anti-clockwise spiral.

_" We need some Music, how about jingle bells? It is a classic."_

_" What ever you want Amanda."_ Sarek answered, both Spock and Sarek were being more agreeable than usual to give Amanda the Human family Christmas she never got and had always wanted.

" Computer, Jingle bells." Spock said. The tune immediately started playing. Amanda started to sing along as she hung up gold and red baubles. When she had finished she went into the kitchen to check on the diner, they were having nutloaf with all the trimmings, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, honey roasted carrots and turnips, peas, sage stuffing, Brussels sprouts and gravy.

"_ She is happy._" Sarek noted. Spock turned to look at him he was looking thoughtfully at the trees.

_" It is an emotion Humans prize above most other things."_

"_ Yes, that was probably the most important thing I learnt when I became ambassador. Thing's that seem frivolous brings them happiness and if they are of no great cost it is not entirely illogical to make allowances for your partner to pursue happiness."_

_" Father are you giving me relationship advice?"_

Sarek actually managed to look a little taken aback.

"_ Yes, it seems that I am."_

Amanda came back in at that moment.

_"Mother do you wish me to turn the lights on?"_

_"Yes Spokh."_

Spock flicked the small switch on the string of lights and they came on. He took a step back to observe the tree, on close inspection he still thought it was the most frivolous thing he had ever had in his apartment and wondered how the tradition of bringing a tree into ones living quarters and decorating it with brightly colored shredded foil, glass balls and little lights had ever occurred.

_" Is it to your satisfaction mother?"_

_" Not yet." _He watched as she dove into her bag of decorations one last time and came out with a five pointed gold shape, Spock recognized it as how Earth children directed stars. She handed it to Sarek and wordlessly he climbed the steps and placed it on the top of the tree.

_"Now I'm satisfied."_

The music finished.

" Computer, I saw mummy kissing Santa Clause." Amanda ordered.

_" I have never understood why Humans lie to there children about where their Christmas presents come from."_

_" Your Mother did try to tell you the Santa Clause story when you were three."_ Sarek said.

"_ I do not recall."_

_" You probably repressed it due to trauma." _His mother answered. " _You became terrified of a fat alien creeping into your room at night."_

Spock listened to his mother tells stories of his youth some he remembered some he was too young to recall. Sarek sat listening to the two of theirs conversation silently for a while then he browsed Spock's shelves and settled down in Nyota's chair Spock suppressed the urge to ask him to move, it was an illogical reaction. He and his mother laid the table and they all sat to eat. The meal was satisfactory, it had been over seven years since he had a meal cooked by his mother and although nutritents are nutritients it is nice to have a meal cooked by ones mother.

Spock could see his father becoming weary, a month on from his operation Sarek had made an almost full recovery, almost full because he still tired far more easily than a Vulcan should. Spock knew from his mother that Sarek tended to rest in the middle of the day, after a full day of activity he was starting to grow weary. That's why it was no surprise that after the meal Sarek said he was going to retire. Amanda stood up to go with him but he waved his hand at her.

_" Stay, spend time with our son."_

Amanda nodded. Sarek left and Amanda turned off the lights so that she and Spock were sat alone watching the flashing on and off of the Christmas tree lights.

" Do you have anything to drink?" His mother asked Spock switching back to English.

" What do you want?"

" Alcohol, any type."

Spock raised an eyebrow, he'd never known his mother to drink. She sighed.

" It's almost impossible to get alcohol on Vulcan and It wouldn't be right to drink at dignitary functions."

Spock nodded.

" I have Whisky, Chris likes to drink it when he visits."

" That'll do, no ice."

Spock went into the kitchen and got the whiskey out of his cupboard he poured his mother a glass and took it too her. She sipped it and smiled appreciatively

" Mother." Spock said carefully knowing he was about to ask the most personal question he had ever put to her but in the last few weeks his views on his parents had radically changed, he knew his father had some affection for his mother. He felt it was time to ask questions, perhaps it would even add some light to his relationship with Nyota.

" How did you and father meet?"

She looked at him, her eyes a little wide.

" Have I really never told you?" She looked thoughtful. " When you were a child your father and I just argued, I guess that's why I never told you."

Spock nodded slowly watching his mother as she seemed to become more distant becoming lost in her memories.

" You know I was a teacher back then ? Well Sarek came to the school, he was learning about earth, it's systems and culture, he was in training to take over the position of ambassador. I showed him around, answered his questions and let him sit in on one of my classes, he was only there for a few hours and I just showed him around because I'd been asked to and I thought nothing of it except that it was the most contact I'd ever had with a Vulcan and I found him quite interesting. Then One dayabout a week later I found him waiting outside the school for me. He asked me to partake of an evening meal with him, he was good looking in a serious and brooding way and I was curious so I said yes. It was a pleasant enough night I suppose, he asked me about earth teaching methods and I asked him about Vulcan and it's culture. But all the way through the meal he seemed bored and I had to wonder if it was really a date or if he was just getting more information for his notes on Humanity. Of course, he wasn't, he was just showing normal Vulcan behavior but I hadn't realized that then. I was a little surprised when after we'd finished eating he asked if we could meet again. At first I said no and he asked if I had not found the evening pleasant. I said I had but I had nothing more I could tell him about teaching. " She smiled widely. " Then he said that he had wished to ask personal inquiries but did not know that it would be appropriate on a first date, that dating was not a Vulcan custom and he was unsure of the correct procedures. He said that If he meet a woman on Vulcan he desired as much as he desired me he would simply ask her and her family if they could be engaged and then at the proper time they would be drawn together to be married. I was a little confused and maybe even scared but I could see the underlying sweetness in what he'd said and I agreed to another date and suggested seeing a holofilm or going bowling. He'd never heard of Bowling so we agreed to go the next week."

" Father went bowling?" Spock tried to imagine the man he knew as his father bowling as he had seen people do when he was a cadet, he just couldn't picture it.

" Yes he did. First he refused to change his shoes saying it was unsanitary."

" It is."

" Then he didn't know how to play so I told him to throw the bowling ball towards the pins, he hitched it over his shoulder and threw it like it was a baseball. It went through the floor of the lane and he had to pay the attendant for the damages. We had to leave after that and I suggested we go to the holoscreens instead but he was adamant that we go bowling, that I need not worry about him causing further damage to the bowling establishments as he would adjust the strength at which he threw the ball. So we went to another bowling alley and he played the perfect game and we got given free drinks and pizza and he got a cap that said 'I bowled a perfect game' which I made him wear and he still has somewhere. Then when we'd finished eating he said he found the beginners level didn't require much skill and he was ready for the next level of the game. He asked if the targets were of a different number, angle, or distance or if they moved."

" Admittedly a game where the objective never changes and are always at the same distance does not require much skill and is hardly amusing."

" I found it very amusing, your father had me laughing all night. Every overly logical statement and facial movement made me laugh. And he didn't mind being laughed at he just asked me if I found laughing pleasant and when I said yes he said that he was glad that he was the cause of it even if he didn't understand it."

"The third date we went ice skating, and he gave me a plant, a box of chocolate and a pair of earrings saying that he had read that a gift of those items were customary. I decided not to point out that he should have only brought one, they were lovely gifts. It took me a lot of persuasion to get him onto the ice, he was almost scared of it, of course he'd never seen ice before. When I'd finally persuaded him it was perfectly safe he stepped out and landed flat on his backside, it was the first time I heard him say 'fascinating."

" I did not ask to hear of the entirety of the time you spent together before bonded." Spock said carefully.

" You said you wanted to know, now can I finish the story or not?"

" Continue."

" Our forth date was a ball at the embassy. There were lots of humans and Vulcan's in attendance and I was quite nervous but your father just stayed besides me and whispered little bits of information about people and how to act in front of certain dignitaries and with his help I managed not to insult anybody, of course it is difficult to tell when you've insulted a Vulcan, anyhow it was a quiet night none of the Vulcan's were dancing or drinking and there conversations were very clipped and all the Humans were on there best behavior. It was good that night was so sedate though, it meant I spent a lot of time watching your father, taking in how handsome he was and how well he handled himself and how he could talk with real knowledge and authority on any topic of conversation. That night I kissed him. He'd never been kissed before, he'd hardly ever been touched by anybody before. It was like a dam of emotions breaking in the both of us, we spent the night together, I won't embarrass you with the details."

" I appreciate that."

A little frown came to his mothers face.

" The next morning he said it was a mistake that he had acted improperly, then he left, except he was still there in my mind. I had no idea what it was and it scared the life out of me but at the same time it felt right.

He came to my door two weeks later. He told me we were bonded, that he had not meant for it and didn't understand it but he did not regret it. Then he just said ' I have researched this matter thoroughly but have not found out which knee should make contact with the floor, do you have a preference?' Of course I had no idea what he was on about so I said no. Then he got down on his left knee and got a ring out his pocket and asked me to marry him and live on Vulcan as his wife. I said yes." She gave a little shrug as if deciding to leave ones family and career and job for an unknown planet and culture was the most natural thing in the world.

" I do not understand your reasons for answering In the positive."

" Because it felt right and I knew I was In love with him."

" You both acted illogically." Spock said, his father had always been the model for Vulcan control in Spock's mind. All those years he had felt he was not Vulcan enough to please his father, all those years striving for absolute control of his emotions and his father had only bonded with his mother through a complete loss of control, an illogical act based entirely on emotion.

" Say's the boy whose dating his student despite the fact that he could loose his career if discovered."

Yes, Spock thought, he had always thought he took after his mother but it seemed him and his father had far more in common than he gad originally thought.

" We bonded accidentally, and once the bond was created it seemed like it was impossible to keep a distance from her."

"Yes I noticed that when I first arrived, you seemed very close."

"We have not consummated our relationship, she is young, she has the right to change her mind. And it is against Star Fleet regulations." He added as an after thought.

She took a long drink.

"Do you mind me asking how it was that you became linked?"

" I am not entirely certain, I performed a partial mind meld on her In an emergency situation but she had called to me telepathically to tell me she was in danger."

She nodded slowly.

" It is a bit of a mystery."

" Mother, this is a difficult topic for me to discuss but I have questions that need answering and It would only be appropriate to ask a family member, I am not comfortable asking father.."

Amanda leaned across and laid her hand on his arm.

" You can talk to me about anything Spock. There is nothing to be ashamed of, not in matters of the heart."

Spock hesitated, all his Vulcan reserve was telling him not to ask these questions but at the same time it was the most logical way to gain answers.

" I wish.. I wish to begin a sexual relationship with Nyota when she is sure that she wishes to be my partner."

" Is she not sure already? I mean she seems pretty much dedicated to you, she looks at you with absolute adoration."

" I told her that I wished to have only one mate in my life and that she should put deep consideration into it."

His mother smirked, not smiled , smirked he found it slightly irritating.

" Well, it's natural for a young man of your age to want sex Spokh, I don't see where you think the problem is, you're grown up, you're in a committed relationship and you wish to make her your bondmate eventually so I do not see anything immoral in it."

" It is more that I worry about further... Accidents."

" Well Spokh, there is a jab for that and there are always condoms."

" I do not understand."

" If you wish to avoid accidents then you can get a contraceptive jab from Doctor Puri, it's not entirely effective on Vulcan's so Nyota would have to get one to."

Spock felt as if the top of his ears would catch on fire, but as far as he knew Vulcan's don't spontaneous combust.

" Mother I was not talking of Spawning. I am.. Worried that as our bond occurred accidentally that the physical and emotional closeness of intercourse may lead to the bond becoming permanent, a full marriage bond. If that happened without Nyota's permission.." He left off he did not know what would happen if he permanently bonded with Nyota without her permission, he only knew that it was an extremely immoral act that he would despise himself for.

" From my own experiences Spock I think it maybe a possibility. You're going to have to be very frank with her and tell her that, then let her decide if she's ready for the risk."

He nodded slowly, the advice made sense, Nyota had never ran from anything non-human about their relationship before.

" I have a further inquiry?"

" Go on Spokh?"

" When did father see fit to tell You of the times, the Pon Farr?"

" About nine months before you were born."

Spock's cheeks felt as hot as his ears and he knew he was blushing a deep green.

" Though I would suggest you do that before then, it was not a pleasant discovery and I wish I had been better prepared."

" I shall tell her at sometime before I ask her to under go the bonding ceremony with me, I wish her to know of my full Nature before deciding."

His mother looked at him quietly for a minute. The multi-colored lights from the tree casting strange shadows and movements across her face.

" Then it is definite, you really do plan to make her your bondmate?"

" Yes mother, it is definite. It is merely a matter of waiting for the right time, which I believe to be after her graduation and before I start duty on the enterprise. Then we would not be breaking regulations and star fleet would place us together on assignments."

" Oh Spokh." His mother said, he noticed a tear run down her face.

" Mother what is wrong, I was under the impression that you liked Nyota?"

" Oh I do, I could love her like a daughter in time. I'm just so happy that you've found someone, I'm happy that your happy Spokh."

She stood up and kissed him on the forehead.

" My son."

" Mother, what if I hurt her?" He said the question coming out unintended.

" You won't."

" Physically I'm much stronger than her, if I lost control.."

" You won't hurt her Spokh."

* * *

Ashayam: Beloved in Vulcan

Kipenzi: Beloved\lover in Swahili

T'hy'la: Soulmate, like mother sister friend lover all in one.

So, thanks for reading, next chapter will be rated M for sexual themes all the way through, I guess I really can't put it off any longer.

If anybody wants a Sarek and Amanda go bowling one shot P.M. me and I'll write one Christmas.


	31. Intimacies

Chapter 31: Intimacies

Rated M for frank talk about sex, sexual situations and a rather dodgy bit about sucking Vulcan's fingers. You have been warned.

Work on 'maintaining Vulcan/Human relations', my version of the Sarek and Amanda story is currently in the serious planning stage, watch this space and I'll tell you when the first chapter ( one of five though they will be short) is up.

* * *

Second week of January.

Spock looked up at the clock again, seven minutes, seven minutes she had been back in San Francisco. He had not gone to meet her, both had agreed that they should avoid being seen together in public unnecessarily. Especially as a few weeks before Nyota had been seen by Doctor Puri and several nurses visiting Spock in hospital. He had felt the bond between them tingling ever since her shuttle had touched down seven minutes before, it was like a little nudge at his consciousness and a brightening of that link in his mind, that strange glowing spot that was the doorway to Nyota. He knew she would head to her room, unpack whilst talking to Galia and then come to him, he would just have to wait.

He tried to concentrate back on his book then realizing he had read the last page three times he gave up went and put it back on the shelf and accessed the computer. He set it so when Nyota arrived she could walk straight into his apartment. Then he stepped into his meditation room, got the door to stay open, lit a candle and sunk down onto his meditation mat. It was time to have an important conversation with Nyota, one he never thought he would be having. He watched the flickering of the candle flame and slowly withdrew from his surroundings and into his own mind.

* * *

He drifted back into reality feeling calm and ready for what was to come. He smelled the scent of raspberries and perfume and knew she was close, he reached out with his mind and saw her there sat in her favorite chair looking around his apartment and waiting for him to come out.

" Nyota?" He called.

" Yes Spock?" She called back.

"Nyota? Why will you not come here?"

He heard her footsteps and then she was there in front of him in the doorway she folded her arms and looked down at him.

" Welcome back Nyota."

" Hey." She said. She still didn't come into the room, Spock wondered why. After two weeks apart he wanted to hold her close to him, to smell her scent and feel her weight against him.

He stood up and walked over to her.

" Nyota is there something wrong?"

" No."

He starred at her until she talked again, he had found that if he stayed quiet and looked at her she would tell him what was on her mind.

" It's your meditation room."

"Yes."

" I'm not allowed in your meditation room."

He took her hands and heard her little intake of breath at the shot of electricity that passed between them.

He took a step backwards and led her over the threshold of the room. She smiled widely looking down and shacking her head. She stepped up on the tips of her toes and kissed him, Spock wrapped his arms around her giving himself completely to the kiss.

She pulled away and rested her head gently on his chest and he held her close knowing at some point he would have to let go of her again. He held her for as long as he could then knowing it could not last forever but there would be other hugs later he let her go.

She stood and kissed him once more.

"Do you know how much I've missed you?"

" Show me." Spock said raising his fingers, she gently glided hers up and down his causing a warm sweet sensation mixed with the feelings of loneliness and longing that he had asked to see.

" Yes, these are familiar things the sense that something vital is missing, that is what I feel when you are absent from me."

She gave a bittersweet smile. Then deliberately took his hand and sucked his fingers into her mouth. Spock gasped, on previous occasions she had kissed and even nipped his fingerpads but she had never drawn them so completely into her mouth. The sensation was not anything he had ever felt before but it was exquisite. It made him instantly hard and had his stomach doing flips as Nyota starred straight into his eyes and massaged the tips of his fingers with her tongue. Running her tongue up and down his two fingers in sweeping then pulsing motions, he felt a type of pressure building in his groin and he quickly pulled his fingers out her mouth. He noticed his hands trembling as he turned from her going to blow out the candle as if he had been meaning to do it all along.

" Nyota.. I.. Uh.." For some reason his mind had gone completely blank and he didn't know what he wanted to say to her.

"So, this is your meditation room." She said tone natural as she glanced around. He gave the slightest of nods.

He watched trying to regain his brain functions as she looked around the room, his room, the room nobody else had ever been in.

Spock's meditation room contained a lot of items from his home planet, some ceremonial and hundreds of years old, some whose meaning and history were so deeply routed in the Vulcan soul that none from off planet would know their meaning, others tools for meditation . It was fitting that they would have this conversation here.

" Red." Nyota said referring to the fact that some of the objects were red, the cloths he used to cover the table was red and the lights gave off a faint red glow.

" I like red." Spock answered.

" You actually like it? It's not to do with the Vulcan desert or some symbolic reason?"

" No, I like red."

She smiled and he realized she had been teasing him again.

"Nyota, I must talk to you."

She froze in the middle of reaching out to touch a painting.

" That sounds serious."

" It is a serious conversation." He admitted.

" Okay." She nodded, he could feel her worry and intrigue.

Spock sat back down on the meditation mat and indicated that Nyota do the same.

" I have some matters to discuss with you, some of them are difficult for me to say because they lie deep within a Vulcan's soul, they are.. Shameful and not privy to outsiders."

" Shameful? Spock what?" Nyota rested her hand on his knee.

" First let me start by saying that by taking my fingers into your mouth a moment ago you were perhaps unknowingly performing what for a Vulcan is considered a highly intimate act, a sexual act." He hesitated over the last few words.

"It was not unknowingly."

Spock felt his eyebrows shoot up.

" What? I have the internet you know."

"I see, then what was your goal for that action?"

She sighed.

" I wanted to see the expression you make when you're being pleasured."

" I see. Nyota it is becoming obvious to me that our relationship will take on a sexual element in the future."

" I would hope so yes."

"You know my wishes concerning this matter but I have not fully explained to you some of my concerns as I had not at that time had them confirmed, now I have the agreement of a reliable source it would be wrong for me to keep them from you any longer."

"I'm listening."

" Our bond was created quite accidentally and although it has grown through both our acceptance and nurturing of it I still lack an understanding of It's true nature. I have found out that it is a possibility that sexual intercourse could lead to the permanent linking of our minds, the Vulcan equivalent of marriage."

" Okay." She nodded slowly as if taking in the information.

" I want you to be aware of that fact, I want you to take it into account when you decide."

Nyota gave a little smile as if she had just heard a private joke.

" When I decide? Isn't this the kind of thing that takes two?"

" We would not be having this conversation if I had not already decided in the affirmative."

Nyota looked confused.

" Wait, what? But you.."

" Another thing that has to be taken into account is that I am three times as strong as you and likely to hurt you if I loose control."

" You won't hurt me Spock." She said her features becoming gentle. Spock choose not to argue, he did not want to voice his worst fears.

" There is a difference in Vulcan genitalia to that of a humans but it is a very slight difference and would not make us physically incompatible, there is the Vulcan habit of marking ones mate and the idea has always been enticing to me so you should prepare yourself for that possibility. Do you understand all I have said so far?"

Nyota stared at him as if he were a particularly strange appearing alien she had never meet before. She nodded slowly and gulped.

" Yeah I understand but..." She left off.

" You have questions?"

"No, nope, no questions."

" Why did you just repeat the same sentiment three times?"

" It doesn't matter Spock, carry on."

Spock took a deep breath mentally preparing himself.

" Nyota I trust you to keep what I am about to say between us."

" You can trust me Spock."

" Nyota, every seven years a Vulcan.. " He looked down unsure how to continue. Nyota put her hand on his knee again in a supportive gesture. It helped.

" Every seven years a Vulcan undergoes a temporary change of hormonal state. I underwent one such period three years ago, during that time the urges of our ancestors come back. Logic is stripped from us and we must enter a deep and difficult level of meditation to suppress these urges, or give into them. It is a fever, a temporary insanity and if the will of the body is not meet then the insanity continues and death occurs."

There was a startled little gasp from Nyota, he looked up into her dark eyes beseeching her to understand what he was saying.

" It is called the Pon Farr. The time of mating. This is the shame I bare the shame every Vulcan must bare."

Nyota's hands framed his face and she leaned forwards to rest her forehead against his.

" You do not have anything to be ashamed about when it comes to me. I love you, I love all of you, I accept you just how you are."

Spock felt a relief spread over him, he had told Nyota of the worst of his nature and she had accepted it.

" Now I have something to tell you." She said sitting back down. " Not as important but still, I have been assigned to a science vessel to shadow a communication officer for two weeks."

Spock nodded, all cadets at one point during their three years at the academy were assigned to a vessel for a two week period of shadowing a member of the department they would find themselves in upon graduation. It was the most logical way to demonstrate to the cadet just what was required of them and the nature of their duties.

" It will be good experience for you. When do you leave?"

Nyota bit her lip slightly.

" In two weeks, just after the January exams."

Spock nodded he understood what she was telling him now, that despite the fact she had just got back from being in Africa for three weeks they would only have another two weeks together before she left again.

"Two weeks." He muttered.

"Do you remember what we did in four days?"

" You must revise for the exams." He said meaning that she could not spend all her time, or even all her evenings with him. He could not allow their relationship to have a detrimental affect on her studies.

"I've spent all Christmas revising Spock, Now I just want to be with you."

She leaned forward to kiss him again a serious deep kiss that made his breath catch in his throat and his heart beat like a terrified wild animals. He took her in his arms and carefully laid her down on the new red meditation mat hungry to explore her body and emotions, knowing now it was only a matter of time before she let him in completely.

* * *

Last week of January.

Spock slammed his hand down on the desk of and andorian student, he could see that the girls eyes were peering over the screen zeroing in on the screen of the cadet in front of them. She looked up at him and he shook his head, it was a warning. She focused her eyes back on the screen in front of her. Spock walked a few more seats down the aisles and stopped for three seconds next to Nyota. She had already finished her exam, she was sat neatly in her chair her eyes resting on the screen until she noticed his presence then she glanced up at him, he walked back to the front of the hall but in his mind they were talking.

"** When do you leave?"**

**" In an hour. "**

Spock felt his lips twitch into a frown he did not like that she would be away from him for two weeks without being able to contact him. But he could sense her underlying excitement so told himself he had to be supportive and happy for her.

" **You will make an impression."**

**" I'll try."**

**" Believe me Nyota, you cannot help but make an impression. "**

He saw her over the crowd of faces look down and smile.

**"You will take care of yourself won't you Nyota?"**

**" I'll be fine Spock."**

**" I shall miss you Nyota."**

**" I'll miss you too Spock."

* * *

**

February fifth.

Nine days she'd been away, five till she came back. He finished marking the last of his assignments, checked he had the right files for tomorrows staff meeting then sat and thought of how he missed her. He accessed the computer and looked up the Louisiana science vessels current mission. Collecting samples of single celled organisms found on a planet in the Delta Vega system. Routine, not dangerous and close by, no accidents reported in the last nine days. He got the Hobbit from his book shelf and turned to the chapter where Frodo escapes from the elf kings hall, he sat in Nyota's chair and started to read.

* * *

February tenth.

When the door rang he found it difficult to keep a natural walking pace as he went to answer it. He opened it to find Nyota stood in a yellow dress uniform.

"Nyota." His voice shook.

" Can I come in commander?" She said in a tone that indicated to him that there was somebody out in the hallway.

" I'm sorry to have come to your home but I've just been shadowing on the Louisiana and it's given me a lot of questions."

" Come in cadet." He stepped away and let her in.

The instant the door had slid closed Nyota threw her whole weight on him kissing him wildly. He hitched his hand around the back of her thighs and she responded as he wanted wrapping them round his waist. He carried her into the bedroom. There would be time for talk later, much later, after he'd shown her how much he missed her and caught up on two weeks worth of kisses.

* * *

February 14

Spock looked across his class, there was seventy seconds of lecture time left and they all displayed classic signs of boredom. One person who was not showing the signs of boredom was Nyota, that was because Nyota was not in his Advanced Klingon class, she was meant to be but she wasn't. Spock did not falter in his topic, he knew that to all his students he was talking at his normal pace with no emotion as he normally did, Spock knew this because he was actually concentrating quite hard on appearing that way. In his mind he was wondering why Nyota was not in class. The only times she had not come to class before was when she had been annoyed with him, he did not think she was annoyed with him, he had not given her reason to be. He finished up the lecture and gave out the weeks assignment he would have five minutes 23 seconds to check on Nyota before his micro-organisms seminar, he hoped she was in her apartment.

He started packing up his lecture notes and the disk which contained his overheads as the cadets began to leave. Bag packed he slung it over his shoulder and headed up the stairs following the cadets out.

" Commander Spock!" He heard a familiar voice call to him and he prepared an answer that would get him out of the room without the Cadet holding him back and taking up time he could be talking to Nyota. He turned.

" Cadet my office hours are..." He stopped, it was cadet Galia who also hadn't been in his lecture.

" It's Nyota." She said just loud enough so only he could hear. He took a quick look at her worried face and then nodded his head for her to follow him back down to his podium. He watched cautiously as the last of his bored cadets left then turned to Galia.

" Cadet?"

" It's Nyota she won't get out of bed. I think she needs you."

"Is she ill?"

" No, not ill exactly." Galia glanced around nervously her hand unconsciously rubbing her upper arm.

" Galia, please explain."

" Can you come?"

" Yes, I can come." Spock said, he would have to be late this one time, the only time in seven years of star fleet and three and a half years as an instructor.

He walked a few steps behind Galia up to her and Nyota's room. A wave of despair hit him as he entered the room, he had never known Nyota to be so unhappy, well perhaps he had after Williams but their minds weren't so closely intertwined back then. Spock shot a look at Galia.

" Yeah, I know." She answered and Spock had to wonder what it was she knew.

As he stepped in he could see the shape of Nyota on her bed, covered with blankets right up to her chin. As she was facing away from him the only thing he could see was a tangle of her black hair spread over the white pillow.

Galia hovered at the door as he stepped around the edge of the bed, Nyota did not seem to notice he was in the room, she did not seem to notice anybody was in the room. Her skin was blotchy, her eyes red and filled with tears, the swelling beneath her eyes and the little visible broken blood vessels indicated she had been crying a long time and probably not as softly and noiselessly as she was doing now. Cautiously he sat on the edge of the bed near to where her knees were drawn in close to her body.

" Nyota?" He said, trying to put some gentleness into his tone.

If she heard him then she showed no sign of it.

"Nyota, answer me." He said more firmly this time but still didn't get a response. He tried to reach into her mind but found it largely blocked to him, it was the first time that he wished she hadn't taken to telepathy so easily. What he did read was a kind of blankness, some deep pain he found a little terrifying. He had to know what had caused it.

" Galia." He looked over to where she was stood trying not to watch him.

" Galia, when did this start and what has set it off? Has she received bad news?"

Galia bit her lip and shook her head slowly. When she spoke it was as somebody who wasn't sure if they should be revealing what they were.

" Last Night, she was trying to be happy, you know how people get when there upset and don't want to show it? Then this morning I woke up to her crying, I mean really hard, she wouldn't tell me what was wrong then this last hour or so." She raised her hand and gestured to the bed.

" She hasn't spoken or moved, she stares into space like she doesn't know I'm there. I didn't know if it was right to get you.'

" You did the right thing. Has she been ill at all? complaining of headaches or.." He didn't finish because Galia was shaking her head.

" Do you know what day it is?" She asked him.

" February fourteenth Valentines day."

As he said it he came to the realization of what valentines day meant to Nyota. Not flowers and gifts and romance, there would be no moonlight picnic in the park tonight, the picnic he had prepared would go uneaten. To Nyota Valentines meant pain and fear and powerlessness. Valentine's was and would always be the day she was attacked and molested and almost killed in a dark dusty storage shed by a man who knew before Spock did that he loved her and that her death would cause the greatest pain to him.

He stroked Nyota's hair back from her eyes and felt the slightest flicker of recognition.

" Leave us." He said. Galia hesitated then nodded and left the room.

" Nyota, I know what's wrong. Let me in, I can help I can make the feelings go away."

Her eyes flickered to him for a moment.

" Spock?"

Her Voice was rasping.

" Yes darling." He stroked her hair again not sure whether she wanted more or less contact.

" I need this."

" Need what? I do not understand."

" I need to let it all go, I need to get it out into the open. I need to let myself feel it."

" But these are bad feelings."

" Yes, but they need to be felt."

"That is illogical."

" Some things are."

He sat with her for another five minutes stroking her hair and watching the tears slowly fall in little rivers down her face.

"Stay with me. I'm safe when you're with me." She asked.

" Of course, I just have to take care of something first." He said, she gave a slight nod and he got up from the bed and went to access Nyota's com system then decided that as the call could be tracked calling from Nyota's apartment would not be wise. He bent down and kissed Nyota on the forehead.

" I will be back in less than three minutes. "

She didn't answer, taking her non-response as an agreement he left her apartment. He went down the elevator, turned right and walked the few steps from the student dormitory to the little on campus coffee shop that student used as both meeting place and a relaxed study area. He stepped in, ignored the cadets who starred at him and accessed the public com link there, he dialed the number of the head of biostudies and waited for the thin tiny women in her seventies to answer.

" Commander Spock, aren't you meant to be giving a seminar?"

" Yes, that is my reason for contacting you, I need to rearrange the time of the seminar due to unforeseen circumstances."

" You haven't really given me much notice Commander."

" I did not have much notice myself."

" Nothing to do with your father's illness I hope."

Sarek's illness had become common knowledge to Star Fleet personnel due to the fact they would now be dealing with a new stand in ambassador.

" No."

" Well I guess there's nothing else for it. I'll find a suitable time in the next few days. This personal crisis will be over by tomorrow won't it?"

" I believe so."

" Then maybe tomorrow 14:00."

" That would be suitable, thank you Margaret."

" Your welcome Spock."

Spock shut down the com link and walked fast paced back to Nyota's apartment. She was still laid on the bed in the exact position he had left her in. He sat back on the bed.

" I will stay now Nyota, for as long as you need me too."

She reached up and took his fingers, she brushed them briefly he felt a little despair at her touch but was still glad for it.

He got up, walked to the other side of the bed pulled the covers up and lied down next to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. They laid together for hours, occasional Nyota would cry, and sometimes she would let him hold her hand and drain away some of the emotion. As the time went on he could feel the negative emotions clearing as if there was a certain amount of it and it was being used up with the crying and the staying in bed. She slept for a few hours and when

she woke up she turned to him and buried her face in his shoulder.

" How are you feeling."

" Getting there. What's the time?"

" 23:48."

She nodded. She laid her head back on his shoulder and entwined their fingers again. Twenty minutes later she asked again.

" What's the time?"

" It is 00:08, February fifteenth."

She nodded and looked up at him, she gave a weak smile.

" I think I'm going to be okay now."

He ran his hand over her back in reassuring strokes.

" Till next year?"

" No, I think it's over. It's the passed now." She pulled herself up and looked around the room, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand as she did so.

" Where's Galia?"

" Do you really want to know?"

She gave a slight laugh.

" No I guess I don't."

* * *

February 25th.

Spock laid the thick woolen blanket on the floor in the space he had cleared by moving the sofa and table to the edge of the room. He threw a couple of pillows from the sofa onto the floor. He went into the kitchen and took the wicker basket he had replicated that morning and started to fill it with the food he'd hand prepared the previous night. Little jam tarts and cheese straws, cut vegetables and humus, fresh strawberries and neatly cut triangular egg salad sandwiches, with a bottle of sparkling nectarine juice and a couple of glasses. He took the filled basket and placed it by the blanket in the living room then he made the final two preparations of the evening, he turned on the in-built sound system and put in the disk of Vulcan lute music, turning the sound down so that it would play barely noticeable in the background. Finally he took the little cylinder he had borrowed from the astronavigation department and set it by the side of the blanket. The cylinder was a holoemiter, when activated it would project the images of certain star systems onto the roof of his apartment, it would also show certain spatial anomalies, nebulae, black holes, comets, spatial structures like star bases and storms on dead planets. The projector was used to teach blind navigation, that is navigation when a ships navigation systems are down, and was sometimes taken on recruitment drives to show what actual black holes and nebulae look like. He had also been told that the students found the projections beautiful and often asked to view them for entertainment purposes. He thought that Nyota would like it he knew her trips in space had been pretty routine and she had not yet got to witness the strange light reflecting particle cloud nebulae, the glowing green and blues and browns swirling around each other or a comet passing close by. He felt that he had succeeded in creating a romantic atmosphere so he could give Nyota the valentine's day she should have had a year and eleven days ago.

The door beeped, right on time.

"Lights at thirty percent." They lights immediately dimmed.

Spock opened the door Nyota stood before him, she was still in uniform slightly out of breath as if she had rushed there, her hair was loose the tips damp, she had been assigned to a 18:00 fitness group for the new term and she had obviously showered and come straight over. He stepped aside to let her in. She took in the blanket on the floor and the picnic.

" Spock!" She said delighted. " What is this?"

" A starlight picnic."

Her smile was dazzling.

" But there aren't any stars."

Wordlessly Spock knelt and turned

on the projector, instantly his roof lit up with the catalard star system slowly moving in and around the stars as if from the view screen of a shuttle. Nyota tilted her head upwards staring at the star projection rotating slowly in a circle as he remembered her doing on there first 'accidental' date.

"You're beautiful." He said.

She looked at him with a wide smile he gestured to the blanket on the floor and she sat down. He knelt beside her a mere three inches away and he remembered how much he had desired to touch her the first time she had ever been so close. He reached up to brush his fingers over her pouting lower lip reminding himself he was free to touch her now. She smiled and gave his fingertips the lightest of little kisses. He felt his lips twitch into a tiny smile.

He reached for the basket and pulled it in front of them.

" Would you like a drink?" He asked.

" Yes."

He poured the nectarine juice into one of the glasses and handed it to Nyota she took a small sip and looked down into the glass.

" Hmm, nice." She looked over at the basket and Spock nudged it towards her. She looked inside and smiled, she took out a cheese straw and bit into it.

" Is it suitable?"

" It's lovely Spock, It's all lovely."

As they ate Spock pointed out the different planets in the Catarlard system. He described their classes and atmospheres and evolutionary states. Nyota smiled and asked questions about how far away the Catalard system was from Earth, how long it would take to get there and If there was anything a specific scientific interest there.

When the program had finished Spock took the projector and started entering the code for another program in on the four little buttons.

" Spock?"

He turned to see Nyota holding a strawberry between her finger and thumb. She leaned over and placed the strawberry to his lips. As he bit into it her eyes sparkled and she licked her lips as if she could taste the fruit herself. She popped the remainder of the fruit into her mouth. He set the projector back down.

" Lights off 100%."

They were pitched into sudden blackness. Spock reached out for Nyota and dragged her down onto the blanket with him wrapping his arms around her. There was a light blue light and then appearing at the edge of his roof was a comet, a gray mass surrounded by blue light and white flecks of ice. It glowed and shone little pieces flickering off and glittering with the light of far off stars.

He heard Nyota's intake of breath. He watched her, her face lighted by the pale blue light of the projection. She watched intently her eyes following the comet and it's trail across his roof, then it was dark for a couple of seconds and a ring shaped space station with three large towers rising from it and bending towards the center.

" Space station seven?" Nyota asked.

" Deep space Nine." He informed her. She rolled over to face him. She looked into his eyes with the same intensity she had shown the comet. She kept her eyes on him even as she kissed him taking his lips with her own. There was something about the kiss a strange determination that made him feel his nerves endings were setting on fire. He looked up at her as she pulled away only to bend her head into the crook of his neck and suck the flesh, licking him with her cool tongue, he felt himself shiver involuntarily. She kissed his lips again, the desire smoldered between them then burned like a deep fire. Their lips and hands moving over each other, taking in each others bodies trying to get closer to each other. Nyota moved away panting from the intensity of their kisses, she smiled at him as he reached up and brushed her hair away from her face. That smile, the small understated one where all the light was in her eyes and her lips only quirked up slightly, that smile never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

Her fingers trembled slightly as they worked on the buttons of his black shirt. For every button she undid she placed a kiss on the newly revealed flesh, over his chest then down to his stomach. Spock's breath hitched as she kissed just below his belly button. She moved back up his chest stroking her hands across his skin as she did so. She gave him a quick breathless kiss before dipping back down to pull his shirt apart and trace her fingers over his nipples.

"Computer lights on fifty percent." She said, Spock blinked as the room was suddenly lit again.

" Olive green." She whispered.

"Olive?"

" Yes." She said pinching him lightly. "What would you call it?" She lowered her head and kissed his nipples scratching him lightly with her teeth as her fingers made little swirling motions on his stomach. He took a moment to catch his breath.

" I have never thought about the color of my nipples before."

Her eyes looked up at him as she gave him a deliberate little lick. Spock let out an involuntary little groan and she smile wickedly. He was growing more aroused every minute. He reached for her and pulled her back up to attack her with his lips, sucking, licking nipping until he could feel her skin grow flush with arousal. She pushed against his chest and he regretfully released her. She laid her head on his chest and as she regained her breath he ran his hands up and down her back in soothing motions and then wrapped his fingers around hers in a Vulcan kiss. Her breath returning to normal she took his hand and sucked his fingers into her mouth, Spock barely held onto his control as she swirled her tongue around his finger tips.

A deep growl rumbled out of his chest, he removed his fingers from her mouth and put his hands on her shoulders to hold her away from him as he took several deep breaths. He imagined himself having perfect control, he gathered some of his desire and slowly pushed it to the back of his mind till he felt what remained was manageable. He opened his eyes to find Nyota starring at him.

" You okay?" Nyota asked.

" Yes, I am trying to stay in control of my strength."

Nyota nodded.

" Okay then." Her hands reached around his neck and stroked her fingers through the little hairs on the back of his neck and she kissed him gently. He reached down to her waist and found the edge of her top she raised her arms for him and he pulled it over her head flipping her over and kissing the soft skin of her shoulders hand cupping her breast, he worked his way down kissing her flat stomach. He sat up pulling her with him and kissed her as he reached behind her back and undid the red bra. He reached up and lightly trailed his hands over her shoulders brushing the straps down her arms letting it drop away from her. He bent his head and ran his lips over the now warm and flushed skin of her breasts then sunk his teeth just above her heart. He heard her startled gasping groan and pulled away looking at the marks his teeth had left.

" I 'm sorry Nyota."

She turned his head so that he was looking at her.

" It's okay, you're marking me I get it."

Then she raised herself on her elbows and bit him on the shoulder.

"Now you're mine." She whispered in his ear.

" I have been your since the moment I first laid eyes on you." He bent his head to her neck and sucked gently on that sweet soap smelling flesh.

"I'm ready." She whispered in his ear. Spock head snapped up from her neck looking directly into her amber eyes, tender and earnest.

" I want to be with you Spock, I know now, I've always known."

He felt his heart skipped a beat at her words, Tension built in the pit of his stomach. He stroked a solitary finger down the side of her face.

" To confirm, you are saying you are ready for the physical consummation of our relationship?"

Her lips spread in a wide smile and she nodded.

" Though you are fully aware it may lead to our bond becoming permanent."

" Yes Spock, you did make that clear." She said the smile never leaving her face.

Spock leaned in and kissed her and although he had kissed her many times this night this time was different. This time when his desire rose he would not pull away or suppress it, he would be allowed to fully express his desire, all his dreams, all his imaginings could come into fruition.

" Yes." He answered. He reached round to pick her up and cradled her in his arms as he carried her into the bedroom. He laid her gently on the sheets and took a moment to look down at her, his friend, his partner and now to be his mate. Beautiful, graceful, intelligent, kind, brave, loving. He felt a wave of longing that almost knocked him to his knees. He closed his eyes to steady himself for a moment.

" Spock?" Her tone was curious bordering worry, he knew her so well. He opened his eyes, he wanted her, could imagine it, almost feel it. It was like a Burning in the pit of his stomach, he had waited so long. He watched her watching him as his unsteady fingers started to unbutton his trousers. Nyota shifted to the edge, she reached over and brushed her hand against his and then, laboring teasingly on the zip undid them. He suppressed a moan as her hands moved under the material and rested on his hips, kneeling down she slid her hands from his hips to his calves taking the material with her. He stepped out of the trousers and reached down pulling her back up. He kissed her with all the desire and longing that he felt and she replied with as much enthusiasm. Hands a little more steady he brushed down the bare skin of her back, over the edge of the little red skirt and found the zip. He pulled it down and she pulled her hips away from him still hungrily kissing his mouth and let the skirt fall to her ankles. He heard the ungracious shuffling of her feet as she tried to kick it away but was more interested in the dancing of their tongues and the delicate little strokes Nyota was making at the tip of his left ear. His hand rested on the small of her back and then inched it lower feeling lace under his fingertips and then with carefully judged force he moved his hand back and slapped her right buttock. She immediately gasped and pulled away from him her eyes a little startled.

" Spock!"

" Add to your hypothetical book, Spock likes spanking."

She stared at him for a moment and then her face split into a wide smile as she gave a little laugh. Spock stepped forwards to take her in his arms and then with a step backwards they both fell onto the bed. Nyota gave a little squeal as they fell and continued to laugh as Spock buried his face in her neck, kissing nipping licking the skin there. After a minute he pushed himself up to look down at her, her face animated and alive, he raised his eyebrow and she tried to look serious and then settled on a little smile. She reached up to stroke her hands through his hair.

" I love you." She said, then repeated in Vulcan. "_I love you."_

_'" I wish to be with you for the rest of your life Nyota."_

_" I want that too."_

Then it seemed like the time for words and laughter was over. The next kiss was serious, Nyota's hands traveled over his back. He rested on one hand and stroked up her thigh and she opened them for him. His fingers pushed passed her underwear and touched the wetness there, Nyota sighed. She squirmed against him to encourage him to continue and his finger found the little bundle of nerves and began to tease it. Nyota gasped and shuddered against him for what seemed like a long time but yet not long at all. Then she reached up to kiss him, her breath labored as he continued to stroke her feeling through their link the growing tension inside her and the little trembling shocks of pleasure. Her sex was becoming more open against his fingers more wet and tempting, he gently slipped a finger inside of her.

" Spock." She gasped.

_**I'm ready. **_Her voice sounded in his mind clear and confident.

He kissed her, and then moved down the bed to remove the red lace underwear, he's breathing hitched again as he looked at her fully naked form truly more wonderful than he had ever dreamt. He stood briefly to remove his boxers, Nyota watched him, timidly she reached out and stroked the flesh revealed. Spock felt a deep growl rumble through his body. He knelt between her parted legs and laid close to her wishing to be able to touch every inch of her cool smooth skin with his. He kissed her as he moved over her until he brushed up against the wet folds. She smiled widely, no hint of nervousness left. She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and leaned up to whisper in his ear.

_"You are all I want, you are all I'll ever want."_

He stared into her deep eyes as he pushed into her, the yielding wet tightness more pleasurable than anything he had ever experienced. He heard her moan but knew he had not hurt her. He placed a tender kiss to her lips before starting to move steadily but gently within her. He felt his pleasure building, he couldn't stop the growl from escaping his lips. Nyota shuddered against him giving soft moans every now and then, her finger nails digging into the flesh of his shoulder the small sharp pain letting him know she had marked him there. A sheen of perspiration covered her skin. He felt his movements becoming faster, less steady, his breath came in pants he felt as if he were building up to something, the tightness in his pelvic region growing, he had nothing resembling control left just the sensations of being in her, loving her, claiming her as his own forever. Nyota's back arched pushing her body against his and taking him deeper inside her.

" Spock." Her voice was breathless.

_**Meld with me.**_

His hand moved down to find the pressure points on her face.

"My mind... To your mind. My, damn, my thoughts to your thoughts.."

That little barrier that had always been between their minds shatter. Spock felt two hearts beating, in his chest and below his ribs. He felt both as if he were moving and being moved within, he felt Nyota's mind laid as bare to him as her body and then he felt only her pleasure coming in building waves each more intense than the last until she felt she could not handle it anymore then her inner walls started to clench against him and he gasped as her gasping breaths let out in a scream and he felt his own release like a rush of tension leaving his body.

Spent, He shifted off of her before his arms gave way. He laid on the bed and pulled her against him waiting for the shivering to stop and for her to regain her breath. They laid together quietly for seven minutes though Spock would have been content for it to last an eternity. He now understood why Humans said 'to make love' rather than sexual intercourse, at this moment he felt he loved her more than he had ever known possible. He loved her enough that the fact that she was still in his mind did not concern him, it was right that she was there.

She pushed herself up to rest on one hand and looked down at him.

" Hey." She smiled her familiar beloved warm smile.

" Hello." He replied, then hesitated. "Was that satisfactory?"

She laughed and kissed him wrapping her legs around his as she did so and rubbing her foot up and down his calf.

" More than satisfactory Spock."

Then the smile on her face disappeared and she looked at him with shock on her face.

" Spock! You're smiling!"

Spock let out a deep chuckle, it was strange even to his ears. She smiled widely at him as he reached up to brush her hair away from her face.

" I have reason to smile Nyota."

He kissed her softly, feeling waves of dizzy, almost manic happiness and was not surprised that it was entirely his own.

Her weight felt good against him. The steady sound of her sleeping breath, Cool soft skin, silky hair fanned out across his chest and the smells of dried sweat and arousal, all of it wonderful, all of it his. Spock felt.. Loose, like all his muscles had completely relaxed, that and oddly floaty, it was the strangest of sensations but he could not bring himself to be concerned about it. He bent his head to kiss her shoulder and she mumbled unintelligibly.

" I love you Nyota." He whispered knowing that she was not awake to hear him.

* * *

Writing sex from a male POV when you're female is kind of awkward, and as it's Spock's first time it can't Be over the top, amazing, let's do everything imaginable sex, just pure vanilla. (Though I did have to add the spanking joke.)

Like it, hate it, let me know cause I feel like Spock right now 'was that satisfactory?'.


	32. Accidental newly weds and Vulcan port

So, for those who were interested the first chapter of my Sarek/Amanda story is up, it's from Amanda's (called Mandy in the fic) POV and is a pure Rom Com. It's called Building good human/ Vulcan relations and you can find it on my user profile.

Warning: Implied sex and a kinda slashy moment, if you get offended by that kind of thing you might want to skip the last section.

* * *

Chapter 32: The Accidentally newlyweds and the Vulcan Port.

Spock's first instance of awareness was that Nyota was drowsy but awake and she was feeling a strong happiness and ever so slightly smug. He liked knowing that she was happy and the smugness amused him but if he was perfectly honest he felt a little smug too, Smugness was something Spock had not experienced before he knew it was not considered a very good emotion to exhibit even in humans but it could be private knowledge just between the two of them. He liked that there could be private knowledge just between the two of them, that they could share little intimacies about each other that nobody else was privy to.

He reached down to stroke her skin or hair but was puzzled when his hand meet open air. He opened his eyes and looked down but she wasn't there, he sat up. She wasn't in the room, but that was not what was concerning him, the strength of the link between them, the access he currently had to her mind, it was the same level of access he had when they were in skin to skin contact. The strength of the link without the skin to skin contact could only mean one thing.

Nyota came back into the room, she had covered herself with Spock's shirt, it stopped an inch down her thighs. She smiled widely when she saw that he was awake and hovered in the doorway.

" Lights fifty percent." She said her tone light. The smile faded when she saw his face in the light.

" I felt that something was wrong, five seconds ago I felt it." She said and Spock knew, he could see it very clearly in her mind that she was a tiny bit scared that he would leave her now, because he, Dante left her after she had given herself to him. But she didn't really believe it, she trusted him, well 98% trusted him and the other 2% would keep him honest.

" You are everything to me." Spock reassured her, it was not a logical statement but it was a human one.

"Okay." She nodded. " Then why do you have an 'oh shit' expression." She walked back to the bed and climbed under the covers.

He took a deep breath.

" Nyota, I am sorry."

She starred at him with lips open and eyes hurt.

" No Nyota." He said he put his hands on her face and kissed her. "I do not regret making love to you, it was.. It was incredible and I am honored by it."

She sighed and rested her forehead against his.

" It's the link isn't it? It's much stronger, I can feel you in my mind. It's like the spark is now a fire and I know things about you, things about your past, not important things but I don't think you ever told me about them."

Spock nodded, he knew what Nyota's brother looked like though he had never met him, he knew what it felt like to sit in Nyota's parents kitchen and listen to her mother singing as she cooked soup.

" It is the affects of a mindmeld, when directed they can be used to show or extract certain information. When it is undirected then the current emotions and thoughts and even sensations are shared but random memories can flow through. Why did you ask for a mind meld?"

" I wanted to be closer to you, physically we were as close as we could be so I went for mentally."

Spock nodded. It was the same reason he had performed the meld. They had truly become as one the previous night, which gave an explanation to their current state. Their current fully bonded state.

" Nyota." He said searching for the words.

" It's happened hasn't it?" She said. " This stronger connection, it isn't Vulcan sex afterglow is it? It's permanent." She was not annoyed or scared merely curious.

" It is permanent, we have created a full bond. You are not angry."

He felt some relief at that fact he pushed his own emotions away and reached for hers and felt happiness, confidence a feeling of safety and security.

" Give it to me straight Spock."

" We are now bondmates, in Vulcan society .. Married."

She tilted her head to the side for a moment then shifted so that she was lying down on the bed.

" I can live with that."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

" I wasn't really planning to ever let you go anyway."

Spock smiled for the second time in eight hours.

Nyota reached up and slowly stroked her fingers through his hair. They both bathed for a moment in their shared joy exploring the edges of each others consciousness and wonderment at what had been built between them.

" You really love me." Nyota said staring at him with the slightest of tears In her eyes. Spock nodded. He leaned over to kiss her and Nyota smiled into the kiss but pulled away before it got to deep.

" We have a problem."

Spock was confused.

" What problem?"

" Your mother is going to hate that she wasn't invited to the wedding."

" Given the circumstances I'm sure she'll understand."

Nyota laughed.

" Nyota, this, it can be revealed if you want. I can have the bond verified by a Vulcan high priest and then Star Fleet would have to accept it."

He knew her silence was due to her thinking over how much her life would change if she was married to her commanding officer and teacher.

" Does anything really have to change? I mean, this bond is wonderful but I'm not ready to be married Spock."

Spock froze, he suddenly blocked the link between them so that she would not feel his confusion and pain.

" I'm eighteen Spock, you know you mean the world to me, you know if you asked I would do anything for you but can you give me time to get used to be bonded before asking me to be married?"

Spock thought it was a logical request, she was Human she had not lived her whole life knowing this could occur at some point. It was logical that she would need time to adapt, and though for a Vulcan there was no distinction between being bonded and being married he understood what she meant, the bond was private, between the two of them they shared emotions and sensations. A marriage to her was something open, something that everybody knew about, it came with cohabitation and the desire to start a family and joint destinies, although he was ready for that he could tell she was not.

" Spock?" She pressed her palm against his cheek when he did not answer her.

" Spock I meant it when I said I want to be with you forever, just.. One step at a time."

" That is acceptable." He said and laid down next to her. He had told her a partial lie, it was acceptable but only because it had to be. He could not deny her anything she needed and she needed time to get used to the bond.

* * *

First week of march.

" I have to get up." Nyota said.

"Yes you do." Spock said pulling her back down to kiss her. She relented for a few minutes then sighing sat up in the bed.

" I really need to get up." She said looking down at him. He couldn't help but adore the way she looked with her hair all mussed up.

"It would be illogical to argue that fact." Spock agreed sitting up and grabbing her to pull her back down this time flipping her over so that she was under him. She gave a delighted little giggle as he attacked that favorite spot on her neck.

"Spock!" She said through her laughter. "Spock I have an assignment to do."

Spock let out a disgruntled breath, he could not allow himself to interfere with her education. He flipped onto his back and laid flat. Nyota raised herself on her elbow to look down at him.

" Don't pout." She laughed running her fingers across his lips." I have to go back to my apartment to get cleaned up and then hit the library."

" You do not need to return to your apartment."

She starred at him for a second, he felt her suspicions through their bond.

" At the bottom of the closet." He said.

He watched her as she shot him a curious look and jumped out of the bed to pad on bare feet to his closet. She opened it and knelt giving him a rather delightful view and then turned to put the silver gift bag on the bed. He could not help but be affected by her little rush of excitement.

" Can I open it?"

" Indeed."

She broke the seal at the top and peered in her face lighting up in a smile. She extracted the little purple striped bag from the top and unzipped it looking inside. Spock already knew what it contained as he had picked it out himself, toothbrush, flannel, hairbrush and hair bands. She zipped it back up and placed it back on the bed then took out the next little bag, another smaller silver gift bag. She broke the seal on this one and pulled out the three pink bottles of raspberry scented shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. She looked up at him happy stunned smile on her face.

" How did you know these were the ones I used."

" On your last birthday Galia forced me into your shower."

Nyota smiled and shook her head.

" Right."

She looked back down into the bag and took out the little black mascara and lipgloss that it was also her preference to wear. She carefully put the bottles back into the small bag and drawing back to the large one pulled out the last item, the soft and fluffy light blue dressing gown that he had held up to his face the previous day imagining Nyota in it snug and warm and comfortable. Now he watched her pull it on and with a cheeky smile stood up and twirled around in it.

" How do I look?"

" Soft."

She gave another little laugh and knelt back on the bed crawling over to kiss him.

" Thank you Spock."

" I had hoped you might want to leave them at my apartment so you would be more comfortable if you decided to stay over in the future."

She smiled and kissed him again briefly.

" I will. Have I told you today how sweet you are?"

" Not today."

"You..Are..the..sweetest..lovliest..best..bondmate..who..ever..lived." She punctuated every word with a swift kiss. "And I am so lucky to be with you."

" It is I who should be saying those words to you."

He ran his fingers through her hair and suppressed a sigh, he wished that these moments between them could last forever but he knew that was neither possible nor logical.

" You should get ready to complete your assignment."

"Okay."

* * *

Second week of march.

Spock stepped out of the shower, the water had been warm but not hot, the pattering of water continued after he had exited. He reached for one of the towels he had laid out on the towel rack before the shower. He held it stretched out in front of the shower and Nyota stepped out, the water stopped. He wrapped the fluffy white towel around her, rubbed his hands up and down her back and then brought her close to him to kiss her.

It was a Saturday and Nyota had slept at his apartment the previous night after he had cooked her a meal and taught her to play a simple tune on his lute. Early that morning Spock had kissed her and whispered that he was going for a weight lifting session. She had sleepily agreed, by the time he had left the apartment he could feel in his mind that she was already asleep again. When he had arrived back she had been sat in the kitchen with two hot bowls of plomeek soup, warm rolls and two chamomile teas. They had gotten half way through the meal before desire led them to the shower where the warm water ran in rivulets down their bodies and made their kisses wet and their movements slippery. Spock had tried to explain to Nyota the dangers of shower sex but she had simply raised her eyebrow mockingly at him and trailed her fingers down his stomach. After that Spock didn't really care that much about the dangers.

Their kiss lasted several minutes and with the heat of his apartment and his hands rubbing up and down the material of the towel by the time they pulled apart Nyota was dry. Nyota leaned into his embrace for a moment. Her stomach grumbled and Nyota pulled apart with an embarrassed smile.

" I suggest we warm the soup and finish breakfast."

" Yes, good idea." Nyota said. She starred at him as he headed out of the bathroom. Then she followed him back to the kitchen where he sat, he saw that she had wrapped her dressing gown back around herself before leaving the bathroom. She looked at him obviously trying not to smile he could sense her suppressed laughter. Spock took the two bowls of soup and as they were congealing slightly and had developed a skin on top deciding they were beyond saving he put them into the recycling canister and started to type in the codes for plomeek soup into the replicator.

" Can I have some bubble and squeak with that? I'm really hungry for some reason." The last words were muffled due to her laughing. Spock watched her feeling his stomach doing it's strange little flip.

" What is amusing?"

She continued to laugh harder covering her mouth with her hand.

" Sorry Spock, It's just funny to see you walking around and making breakfast butt naked."

Spock glanced down.

" Does it bother you?"

"No. It's just funny. Considering how prim and proper you are on duty."

He placed a bowl of soup in front of her and typed in the other codes.

He finished the breakfast and sat down to eat. They didn't talk they just enjoyed being with each other enjoyed the contentment that flowed back and forth between them and the occasional little pulses of affection they sent each other. When he had finished eating he looked over at her.

" Nyota, I wished to ask you something."

" Go on."

" I realize that you will wish to go to your parents house for the duration of the April break. But I wondered if you would consider spending the first four days with me before you return to Africa."

Nyota thought for a moment.

" Of course, I always get bored if I spend too much time at home now. It's like I've changed, like I have to be doing something, have to be working or exercising, or with you of course and my mother has a habit of still treating me like a child, it gets a little annoying."

" You have probably matured considerably over the last two years due to not being under the care of your parents."

Nyota nodded and took a sip of her tea.

" Did you have anything in mind?"

" Yes." Spock said, he felt her mind probing at his.

" Nyota."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

" I understand that humans enjoy the occasional surprise but I doubt I will be able to keep this from you."

Nyota smiled.

" I will torture you relentlessly until you tell me." Nyota said. Spock felt his eyebrows raise.

" I don't mean literally Spock."

" I did not think you did. But If you wish to know then I was planning a trip to Paris for the two of us, that is you and I."

He felt her shock, then it slowly subsided into ecstatic excitement and her face broke into a wide smile. He felt a tiny bit of smugness and tried to send her some calming influences but they did not have much affect.

" Paris, really, like Paris Paris?"

"Paris France, I remember that when we on Vulcan you said next time you wished me to take you to Paris."

He felt the memory center of her brain light up.

" That was a joke Spock."

" You do not wish to go to Paris?"

" I, I want to go to Paris." She said she stood up and went to sit on his lap. Spock wrapped his arms around her so he was holding her securely to him. She kissed him soundly.

" Paris." She kissed him again only pulling away when she was breathless.

" Thank you Spock."

" I believe that after a long period of hard work it is often said 'you deserve a holiday' due to that criteria, you deserve a holiday."

He didn't say 'and a honeymoon.'

"And I hear it is a historic city that due to the architecture protection laws has areas that have not changed in four hundred years except for reparations after earth's third world war, it should be interesting. "

" Yes, can we climb the Vulcan peace tower? And maybe take a boat along the Seine?"

" We shall do whatever you wish given the time that we have, perhaps you should make a prioritized list and I can map out the quickest routes from one area of interest to the next."

" Spock, it's Paris, lets just have fun and don't feed me that Vulcan's don't have fun line I'm in your brain remember."

" It would be almost impossible to forget. I shall do as you wish."

Nyota smiled wickedly.

" Spock?"

" Yes."

" Bedroom."

"Yes."

Nyota second breakfast of the morning got left uneaten on the kitchen table.

* * *

Third week of March 

Spock sipped cautiously at his beer, it was not something he enjoyed but the tiny little bar didn't serve anything except beer and whisky. Chris was having the whiskey. Spock was glad to be with his friend even if the bar he had chosen was dark with county and western music sticky tables and disreputable looking characters. He had not been in Chris's company in three weeks, Chris had been on various recruiting drives, trips to see the nearly completed enterprise and a 'secret off world meeting' that Spock knew not to ask about.

" She's a beautiful lady and I'm glad that she's going to be my last active service ship."

Spock raised his eyebrow slightly at that.

" You are planning on retiring?"

Chris looked down at his whisky and took a deep gulp of the amber liquid.

" Not planning, I'm getting on Spock, the Enterprise is going to be on some long missions it won't surprise me that if In a couple of years I'm forced into a desk position. Running around the galaxy looking for new friends and new troubles is a job for the young. "

Spock nodded slowly he did not know what to say, he could hear the sadness in Chris's voice. He never knew what to say to comfort his friend.

" And when I retire, all being well I'll suggest to the board that you take the enterprise." Chris finished.

" I appreciate the offer but I would prefer to get the position because I am the most suitable person for it."

" Spock, you have everything you need to be a good captain and when we're on the Enterprise you'll get plenty of opportunities to grow and demonstrate those skills. When I retire, you will be the best man for the job."

Spock nodded. Chris took another sip of his drink.

" So, we've been here over an hour, we've talked science, we've talked federation news, we've talked about me, now when are you going to tell me why it is that in the last month every time I've seen you or talked to you on the Comm you've seemed almost happy. Which with you probably means your ecstatic."

"I am happy." Spock admitted.

Chris starred at him wide eyed. Then smiled and clapped his hand on Spock's shoulder.

" Well Spock that's brilliant. Want to tell me why?"

Spock looked down at his beer, he wanted to talk to Chris, due to his experience he always had good advice, insights into human nature that Spock sometimes overlooked.

" It is Nyota, our relationship ... Has progressed."

Chris's eyebrows raised.

"I see. Say no more you haven't told me anything."

Spock was confused by the illogical statement.

" But I haven't told you anything."

"That's just right."

"Seven years of living amongst you and humans still confuse me." Spock said, Chris just shook his head as if to say if Spock didn't understand him he wasn't going to make things any clearer.

" She is my bondmate." Spock stated.

Chris face shoot up at that he stared at Spock open mouthed, he open and shut his mouth a few times before he finally managed to speak.

" You married her!"

"In a way, yes. Though bondmate is the term Nyota prefers."

He thought he'd let Chris recover from his shock before going onto the fact that Nyota was pleased to be his bondmate but refused to be his wife despite them meaning the same thing.

Chris looked down at his drink for a full two minutes various expressions crossing his face. He finally talked again when he seemed to have calmed somewhat.

" And I wasn't invited to the ceremony?"

"There was no ceremony and as it stands Star Fleet will not recognize that we are partners until it is officiated. Which I was planning on asking her after her graduation and that stands unless we are discovered."

Chris looked confused again. He held up his hands shaking his head.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. No ceremony, how was it done?"

" I believe it is called the missionary position."

"I did not hear that."

"I said.."

" Shut up Spock."

"Yes Captain."

Chris downed the rest of his whiskey and caught the barkeepers attention to get another one. Then turned his attention back to Spock.

" You know the only reasons you're getting away with this is one, I'm a sucker for romance, two, as you've already been accused once nobody will accuse you again without solid evidence and three, nobody expects this kind of behavior from a damned

Vulcan."

The bar keeper placed the glass of whisky in front of Chris.

"Hey you got any of that Vulcan port?"

" Got some in back."

"Bring a glass for my friend here."

Spock raised an eyebrow at Chris he was aware that Vulcan port contained a substance slightly poisonous to Vulcan's, it was mixed with pure alcohol and liquid chocolate to produce a drink that got Vulcan's highly intoxicated produced severe inhibitions, lack of emotional control, and left them with blinding headaches, unsettled stomachs and partial memory loss the next day.

"Don't raise your eyebrows at me we're going to drink a toast."

" Vulcan port is illegal on Vulcan."

"We're not on Vulcan."

"It is still illogical to do myself harm due to an unnecessary Human custom."

" Come on Spock, how often do you get bonded, married, whatever."

" Probably more than once, we will have to have an official Earth ceremony so as not to upset Nyota's parents and if Star Fleet discovers our relationship before then we will have to have an official Vulcan ceremony to placate them."

" Yeah but this is the first time right, and it needs to be toasted."

The barkeeper placed the foul smelling dark brown shot of liquid in front of Spock.

" You are not going to let me avoid this are you?"

Chris shock his head slowly.

"Sorry my friend."

Chris raised his whisky glass and Spock followed.

" To Mr. and Mrs. Spock may they live happily ever after."

They clinked their glasses together and both downed the content, Spock coughed as the liquid burned his throat.

* * *

1 Vulcan port and 2 more Whiskeys later. Chris's POV.

Chris's arm was wrapped around Spock's waist, it was not to prop Spock up, not at all, it was merely to keep him from walking into lamp posts as he had done ten minutes previous. But they were almost back on academy grounds now and so almost out of the way of those pesky lampposts and even peskier police officers. Chris had somehow managed to convince the police officer who had stopped them just outside the bar that he himself would admit to being a little drunk but his friend who was complaining loudly to nobody in particular about having never made a snowman was certainly not drunk. He was a Vulcan and they do not get drunk, he was actually very ill and he was helping him get to a hospital. It hadn't helped that when the policeman had turned to Spock and said 'is that true son?' Spock had answered 'not at all sir' but somehow they had still managed to get away with it.

So they had continued to walk slowly down the streets back towards the academy and the little side entrance to the grounds just beside the staff block so they could enter relatively undetected. Chris sung softly to himself as they walked.

" See the little goblin.

See his little feet.

See his little nose.

Hey ain't the goblin sweet."

" Are you talking about me?" Spock asked looking up his eyes not quite managing to focus on Chris.

" What?"

" People always call me the goblin."

" That's because of the ears."

" Why do humans have a fascination with our ears?"

" They're kind of sexy."

" Thank you."

"What for?"

" For calling me sexy and sweet."

" I was not calling you sexy or sweet."

" Why not? Nyota calls me sexy and sweet, though usually when we're snuggling, I like snuggling."

"Everybody likes snuggling. Not that I know much about Vulcan bonds but won't your missus know you're drunk?"

The fact that it was Chris who had got said newly wed drunk was completely ignored by him.

" If we do not block the pretty little light off then we share emotions and sensa sensations."

" Have you shut off the pretty little light?"

" Nope, I like it, it's pretty."

" Then will your wife be able to feel the sensations of being drunk?"

Spock seemed to think about it for ten steps his eyebrows flickering up and down.

" Shit." He finally said.

" I 'd say so." Chris agreed laughing at the thought of Nyota feeling rather tipsy when she hadn't had a sip of alcohol. He just hoped for her sake that Spock would shut their bond down before she also woke up with a bad alcohol free hangover. He could just imagine how the conversation between the accidentally not quite newly weds the next day would go.

They had reached the grounds and then carefully skimming out the way of the security cameras they managed to get into the staff residence without being seen.

In the foyer of the staff residence they bumped into Bob. But he just smiled and winked.

" Good night hau?"

Chris pushed Spock into the elevator and Spock managed to push the button to close the doors before turning to Chris and standing very, very close to him.

" You." He said pointing a finger at Chris's face and swaying slightly.

" You are my best friend."

" I'm your only friend."

Spock seemed to ignore his answer.

" And, I care deeply about you."

"Always good to know." Chris said just before he found himself pushed roughly against the wall of the elevator. Spock kissed him in a hungry vicious kind of a way that was all teeth and jaw and animal strength. After a moment, a rather long one Chris shoved him roughly away and due to the affects of Vulcan port Spock stumbled backwards. Chris looked at Spock's shocked confused eyes.

" We never mention this again." Chris said.

" I agree completely." Spock answered still looking rather concerned.

They stood as far apart as the small space would allow until the elevator doors opened again. Chris followed Spock to his apartment watching as the drunk Vulcan took stumbling steps down the hall. He leaned heavily against the door as he typed in the access codes then as it opened fell face forwards into the darkness, there was a thud as he hit the floor.

" Still breathing?" Chris shouted.

"I believe so." Came the muffled reply.

" Good, goodnight Spock." Chris said, he turned back to the elevator to go down to his own apartment then decided he'd rather take the stairs.

* * *

This chapter was really fun to write, the naked breakfast scene and the Vulcan port ( which has chocolate so is an aphrodisiac as well as intoxicating) awkward drunken kiss bit.

This story is pure Spock/Nyota i'm not going to go off on a Spock/Chris tangent I'm just a serious slash lover .


	33. A nonhoneymoon in Paris, part 1 of 2

Happy new year to anybody reading.

Note: It's been a while since I've been to Paris so the geography might be slightly wrong.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek nor the song Thank you for loving me.

A non-honeymoon in Paris, part one of two.

Saturday second week of April

Spock rested the two small cases one red one a functional black on the floor. He bent and started unpacking he could see Nyota out of the corner of his eye, she walked over to the bathroom and opened the door to peak inside then stepped over to the window, he looked up to see her little contented smile as she looked out over the Parisian streets. The hotel Spock had chosen was in the backstreets near too the Notre Dame, the side of one of it's double towers could be seen behind the houses. Spock had looked at many hotels nicer than this one, in areas of historic interest and all with antique beds and with famous restaurants connected too them but he had settled on this one for one reason. The little alleys and streets around them which were filled with busy cafes and pastries and the strange little cheese shops ( Spock had no idea why there would be shops dedicated just to one food substance but he intended to find out) teamed with life and a general bustle of excitement. He had thought that Nyota would like the 'atmosphere' of the place more than that of the more expensive places.

The room itself was functional, except perhaps the bed was larger than necessary. It's walls and carpet were a pale inoffensive blue, the curtains slightly darker, their was a com system, a credit operated repliactor unit and plenty of storage. Spock approved of it's simplicity, after all he did not expect them to be spending much time in their room just the eight hours a day that Nyota needed to sleep and he had brought along a book to read during those hours he would be awake. He had intended on bringing a PADD with the latest schematics for a salvaged Romulan battle cruiser but Nyota had taken it out of his bag and told him he was not allowed to work on holiday, he had asked what authority she had too issue that order she had explained too him that as his bondmate it was her duty to force him to relax once in a while. He had accepted this and chosen a Human fiction he had been meaning to read for some time.

Nyota turned from the window and bent down next to him unzipping her own bag. As Spock carefully refolded the few civilian clothes ready to place them in the draws Nyota dug her hands under the mass of hers she lifted them all as one with a hand on the top of the pile so as not to drop any she walked over to the draws balanced the clothes against her body to open the top draw then dropped all the clothes in at one and shut it. Spock watched his eyebrow raised.

" That." Nyota said. " Is how you unpack when on holiday."

" Really I had no idea there were different ways of unpacking in different situations."

" It's a simple choice Spock." She walked behind him trailing her fingers along his shoulder blades. " You can labor over unpacking for the next half an hour." She jumped onto the bed. " Or we can test the bed out."

" I am not tired."

" I wasn't referring to sleeping."

Spock took the rest of the clothes out of his suitcase and dumped them into the second draw. He hesitated for a moment imagining winkled clothing. Then he turned and saw Nyota looking up at him from the bed, beautiful with her jeans stained with the coffee she had split on their flight her hair coming lose from it's band and her face travel weary but excited. Her brain seemed to buzz and he had been having difficulty blocking of the excitement so that it wouldn't effect him. He laid on the bed next to her and turned his face to look at her.

" You are tired from the journey."

She rolled over on top of him her fingers finding their way to his hair as they always did. He rested his hand lightly on her back as she kissed him gently.

" Not that tired."

" You should rest."

She shook her head.

" No, I want to go out, I want to see the cathedral and eat in a little restaurant and find a little park to sit and watch the sun set. I want to enjoy being with you without the constraints of the academy."

" Very well, the sun sets in two hours forty three minutes, after that will you please rest?"

She nodded.

" Yes."

" Then until then I am content to be instructed by you."

The smile she gave at his words was a little wicked.

" I instruct you to make love to me."

" Your desires are my desires." He said flipping her onto her back and kissing her as she giggled. It wasn't long before they were both hot and feverish.

* * *

They sat close together though not touching, Spock was not comfortable touching in public and although he had never told Nyota this she seemed to know with out him saying anything. They sat on a bench in the tuileries overlooking a large round ornamental pond where they watched children sailing little toy boats across the golden water. The sun had turned a deep orange and would soon drop below the horizon. There was a beauty in how the orange light lit the leaves of the trees and the bushes. The light fell on the marble statues that were placed along the pink granite paths creating shadows to fall on their strangely human faces making it seem as if they were almost moving with slight expression.

Nyota sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder feeling more freedom than he had since an infant he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and took a deep breath of her scent pleasing him when he realized that it was mixed with his own. It was an evening so perfect Spock wished they could just live their lives in that moment an endless evening of beauty. But eventually the children parents looked up from their books and the kids gathered their little boats and holding their parents hands walked out of sight, the golden sunlight turned into the bluish limbo light of dusk and the air turned chilly. Without words they stood up and hand in hand made their way to the metro station to catch the high speed underground tram that would take them back to the hotel where they could lie in each others arms safe and content till the morning.

* * *

Sunday.

The Vulcan peace tower was a large steel structure that glistened a almost blinding silver in the sunlight. It started on the ground as a large circular wall around a square and raised in a spiral that became less compact as it climbed upwards to the apex 1073 feet up. The spiral though solid at the bottom circle took on a net like appearance on it's first turn so patches of blue sky could be seen though it, at the time it had been built Earths resource had been low and the type of thin but extremely durable steel that had been used was a new invention. There was a elevator that carried forty people at a time up through the spiral at the top turn it slowed to allow for people to take pictures before making it's decent. It was said that on a clear day you could see the whole of Paris from the top. Today was a clear day.

Spock could feel the excitement coming of Nyota as she stood a few feet away from him staring up at the strange metal structure. He went over to her and handed her the little camera she had brought with her. She gave him a dazzling smile and pointed the camera at him and clicked the button quickly before he had a chance to move. She looked at the image she had taken on the little screen and laughed.

" Why does the picture amuse you?"

" You look like you're annoyed."

" I am content."

" I know that but the picture makes you look annoyed, look."

She handed him the camera and he looked at the still representation of him, he looked just as he did in all other photos of himself, he did not understand her amusement. He handed the camera back to her and she tilted it upwards bending her knees slightly as she tried to get the shot she wanted in view. Once the camera had clicked she turned to him.

" Come here."

He complied going to stand next to her.

" Closer." She instructed.

He shifted uncomfortably, the square under Vulcan peace tower was crowed, there were long ques to go up the tall metal spiral and Spock was glad he had pre-booked the tickets so they could just go in. Nyota ignoring his discomfort wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder she stretched her arm out holding the camera straight in front of them and clicked the button. She turned it around to show the picture of the two of them, Nyota was smiling widely but Spock looked as he always did in photos.

" Hmm, another one." She said.

Spock gave a short little nod, her happiness outweighed his discomfort. She leaned back against him and spread her arm out in front as though about to take the picture then turned swiftly catching him off guard as her moist lips kissed his cheek, he turned to her eyebrow raised to ask her what she was doing but she reached up on the tips of her toes and kissed him firmly on the mouth, Spock got lost for a moment in the intensity of the kiss and reached around holding her close to him then remembered that they were in an extremely public place he pulled away feeling the tips of his ears burning.

Not looking at him Nyota looked down at the camera pushing the little button that allowed her to flick through the pictures.

" That's better." She said smugly.

Curious Spock held his hand out for the camera, their were four more pictures of him, one of him standing stoically as Nyota eyes closed kissed him on the cheek, the next was him turning to her with his eyebrow raised a look of puzzlement on his face, the third made Spock stop and stare at it for a long minute, Nyota's mouth was twisted up in a smile as he had responded to her kiss but his own features seemed so much softer than he had ever seen them before, the last picture he had been staring at Nyota who looked at her most beautiful there was a little glint in her eyes and she was smiling widely as if about to laugh, the tips of his ears in the photo were a very clear emerald.

' I would appreciate it if you made copies of these photos for me Nyota, especially the third and fourth ones. It would be nice to have another image of you to look at when you are not near to me."

The only one he had his mother had taken in the hospital on his birthday.

" I'll print them off before we leave." She agreed.

Spock handed the camera back to her and checked his watch.

"Nyota it is near the time on our tickets, shall we proceed to the booth?"

She nodded and he gently rested his hand on the small of her back to walk her safely through the crowds to the third booth on the circle. They lined up for three minutes and Spock noted that all the people waiting in front of them seemed to be couples in romantic relationships, it seemed like Nyota they had come to Paris considering it to have a 'romantic' atmosphere. Then the line began to move and Spock handed their tickets over to the assistant who waved them through into the oval pod. Spock was please to see that it was large enough to hold fifty people comfortably and they would not be crowded on the accent. The floor of the pod was metal but the walls were a clear inch thick plastic so they could see through the gaps in the metal structure. Nyota claimed a place at one side up close to the glass and Spock went to join her. Their was a collective giggle as the pod gave an unsteady lurch and Spock grabbed Nyota to steady her, then the pod was moving steadily upwards out of the first circle. Nyota turned to give him an excited smile as the pod flashed into the light and the speakers started blaring out their recorded information.

" Construction on the world peace tower, sometimes known as the Vulcan peace tower started in August 2064 and opened on the 14th of April 2065, the twelfth anniversary of the end of the third world war. A year previous to it's construction a peace treaty was signed between all nations of Earth agreeing that all warheads would be dismantled. The treaty signified the end of all wars on Earth. The designs for the tower were approved a month later and all nations donated funds and sent mechanics to help with it's construction though the original designer was french the rather aptly named Jean Luc Turret. The World peace tower is the only monument in the world to be owned by all countries and dedicated to all the people of the world.

Here are a few facts about the world peace tower:

It is built on the sight of a previous French monument called the Eiffel tower, it's location is symbolic as the Eiffel tower was destroyed in the worst bombings of the third world war that touched France. Pictures of the original Eiffel tower can be seen in our visitors center at the end of the ride, the Eiffel tower reached 1063 feet and the peace tower is 1073 feet.

Though originally Zephram Cochrane the man who had invented the warp drive two years previous to the towers opening was going to be asked to cut the ceremonial ribbons and give a speech at the opening of the world peace tower it was decided that due to his habit of getting inebriated and starting brawls he would be inappropriate. After some deliberation the first Vulcan Ambassador to Earth was asked to do the ceremonial opening, as it was the first occasion that a Vulcan had been recorded speaking on Earth since their first contact two years previous the tower is sometimes called the Vulcan peace tower. This is due to some comments made by members of the media asking whether Vulcan's, being technologically superior would invade earth, the ambassadors somewhat shocked response that they would not brought a collective sigh of relief from most of Earth government officials.

The opening of the world peace tower actually turned out to go much better than expected with Ambassador T'lang speech congratulating the people of Earth for discovering the logic of peace and telling them to strive for peace with all species that they would encounter now they had discovered warp travel.

The world peace tower has come to stand for not only peace on Earth but peace between Earth and all other worlds we encounter.

We are now going to slow as we are approaching the top, if you look out the sides you will see large port holes in the sides of the tower from which you can view Paris. Photography is permitted recordings are not. Enjoy the rest of your ride."

" That was informative." Spock stated.

" I'm guessing you knew most of it anyway."

" Well I did do the relevant research before the trip."

The pod jerked again as it slowed to a crawl and the metal mesh disappeared into a large meter long window. Spock held Nyota close as the other passengers drew in closer. From the window they saw a bustling mass of buildings, radiating from their position were the small four story or less buildings that had been a part of the Parisian landscape for hundreds of years. The blue Seine snaked through them intercepted every now and then with little bridges. Along the river they could clearly see the long galleries of the Louvre museum and the green of the tuileries where they had sat cradled in the middle of them. Notre Dame sat by itself on it's own private island though all they could see where the twin towers peaking up over the streets, the could make out the two thick walls that before world war three had been the arc de triomphe and now stood broken as a monument to the lives lost in the third world war and all those predating it. Towards the horizon was the newer section of Paris with it's bold skyscrapers making a stark contrast between the old and new.

Nyota kept pointing things out to him and Spock found it difficult to repress a smile at her enthusiasm. Then she was taking pictures again smiling happily at each one she had taken before turning the camera around and taking more. She had moved down along the pod and taken another picture of him stood arms folded behind his back looking out across the landscape. She had laughed delightedly when Spock had turned to pose for her with his lips quirked in the slightest of smiles.

When she rejoined him they moved to the middle of the pod so that the others could see out the windows and as everybody else was looking outward Spock ran his fingers along hers briefly and whispered to her.

"_ Is it what you wished it to be?"_

_" Yes. I think it may even be better."_

_" Better? Well thing's often don't meet our expectations but to exceed expectations is such a rarity that one must treasure those moments."_

_" Spock everything to do with you exceeds my expectations, and I do treasure all our moments."

* * *

_

Nyota lent her head against his shoulder as they cruised slowly down the historical sector in the riverboat. They had forgone the headphones that told them facts about the buildings they passed. Instead Nyota listened intently as Spock told her the thing's he had read when he had researched their trip. He told her how the Louvre museum had previously been a Palace for the kings and queens of France, he pointed out the round tower that marked the entrance to where Marie Antoinette, Nyota's Halloween heroine, had been beheaded. AS they passed under a bridge Nyota's fingers began to tease his, rubbing and squeezing in what for Spock was the most passionate of kisses. The tips of his ears began to grow hot, he glanced out the window at the calm waters of the Seine and told himself that like those waters he must remain took a deep trembling breath and tried to slow his racing heart.

**You are distracting me Ashayam**

**I mean to distract you Kipenzi. **Her voice sounded in his mind.

**This next bridge is the lovers bridge, it is said that when a couple kiss as they pass under the bridge then they will be together for the rest of their lives.**

**Well, we don't need to then do we.**

He raised his eyebrow at her.

**I already know we'll be together forever**. She explained

**Indeed.**

Her fingers continued to stroke up and down his, he pictured her stood before him naked in his mind. He shot her a warning look knowing she had placed it there and she giggled.

**Why are you showing me this? It seems you are trying to make my desire for you rise.**

**I am.**

**But I cannot..**

He pictured lying on top of her, surging into her with her legs wrapped tightly around his back. He felt the now familiar swelling and shifted uncomfortably. Nyota gave a short sudden gasp as the picture reached her mind. It took her a moment together her thoughts to answer him.

**I want you to be thinking of what we're going to do when we get back to the hotel.**

**Why?**

**Something Galia said about increasing anticipation.**

**I believe that you have achieved what you set out to do. I am definitely anticipating.**

As they passed under the next bridge Nyota lent forwards and took his lips gently with her own in a long burning kiss. When he pulled away she gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

" Just in case." She explained.

* * *

They reached the hotel, the journey back from the river boat had only taken seventeen point three minutes but to Spock it could have been an hour. He had not touched Nyota since they had departed the boat but as they reached the hotel she grabbed for his hand and he felt a rush of desire so strong that he let out a little growl. He hurried his pace as he walked the final steps into the hotel.

" Mr and Mrs Spock." The landlady called to them as they entered. Spock nodded polity to her hoping she would not wish to converse.

" How was your day did you see the peace tower?"

" Yes." Nyota answered. "And we went along the seine, I am so tired now been on our feet all day haven't we Spock?"

" We sat thirty two minutes for lunch." He answered.

" You know I've never had Vulcan's staying here before." The eighty year old tiny plump woman continued obviously not taking their hints that they wished to hurry to their room. " Then yesterday you arrived and today I got two Vulcan's who came to deliver some kind of document for the Louvre's new Vulcan exhibit, they just checked in two minutes ago."

" We wish to retire now." Spock answered barely hearing what the woman had said.

"Oh." She gave a wink and Spock felt his ears start to burn as Nyota grabbed him and pushed him into the elevator. The moment the doors had shut she cheekily pressed herself up against him.

" Nyota." He groaned.

The doors of the elevator took to long, or maybe not long enough to open again and Spock blindly walked out hand in hand with Nyota, their room was the first door on that corridor and Spock groped in his pocket to try and find the key card as Nyota stood close to him her fingers trailing little electric paths down his back. Unable to find the key he turned to her and found her whole weight flung against him pushing him up to the door as her lips meet his and he closed his eye succumbing to the desire that had been building all day.

_"Disgraceful."_

Spock's eyes opened at the familiar language in an unfamiliar quiet tone. He pulled away from Nyota and looked down the hallway as Nyota moved on to nibble on his neck. They were not alone as he had thought, at the far end of the hallway were stood two Vulcan's one male one female. It was the woman who had spoken.

_" I know of him, he is the hybrid." _Her male companion answered.

They must not know his hearing was as good as any full Vulcan's.

Spock turned back to Nyota and gently pushed her away from him. She gave him a quick smile and held up something she had in her hand, the key card. As he took it he saw Nyota glance down the hall, their was an instant of shock when she saw the Vulcan's, she had obviously been unaware that they were being observed. Spock opened the door and stood aside to let her in swiftly closing the door behind them when they had entered.

" What's wrong? Do you know them?" Nyota asked him.

" No, there is nothing wrong." Spock answered truthfully, how could he let anything annoy him when he was hear with her.

He pulled her close and kissed her.

* * *

Her fingers stroked along his lazily as they lay together in contented bliss, her naked body draped across his and with is free hand he gently stroked along her back. Through their link he could feel her content bliss and he drew it close to him and relished in it knowing that he had satisfied her and brought that beautiful bliss.

" I wish you had your lute." Nyota muttered.

He took her chin and tilted it upwards to look at her.

" Why do you wish it?"

" I love it when you play it for me."

" If you love it than I also wish that I had brought it, an oversight on my part it seems."

She gave a small smile and placed a kiss against his stomach.

" I can see if there is any music stored on the computer."

" No, it's okay, it's not you anyway."

Spock considered this.

" I could sing to you." He offered. Nyota looked up with another sleepy smile.

" Please." She said.

Spock thought about all the songs he had heard Nyota playing when she had been in his apartment. There was one in particular he had listened to a few times after she had left. He began to sing softly to her.

"It's hard for me to say the things  
I want to say sometimes  
There's no one here but you and me  
And that broken old street light  
Lock the doors  
We'll leave the world outside  
All I've got to give to you  
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me  
For being my eyes  
When I couldn't see  
For parting my lips  
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me  
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream  
Until that dream was you  
When I look into your eyes  
The sky's a different blue  
Cross my heart  
I wear no disguise  
If I tried, you'd make believe  
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me  
For being my eyes  
When I couldn't see  
For parting my lips  
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down  
You ring the bell before they count me out  
If I was drowning you would part the sea  
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors  
We'll leave the world outside  
All I've got to give to you  
Are these five words tonight

Thank you for loving me  
For being my eyes  
When I couldn't see  
You parted my lips  
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly  
Oh, you gave me wings  
You parted my lips  
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me"

As he finished the song he looked down at Nyota, her eyes were wet and she looked up at him with parted lips. He ran his finger along the bottom of her eyelid catching some of that wetness.

" Nyota?'

" I'm happy again." She explained with a soft laugh at his confusion.

" I love you." She said softly and Spock felt as if his heart were expanding ready to burst with the sheer joy those words brought him.

He tried to say it, he opened his mouth but the words wouldn't come.

Nyota raised herself up and kissed him soundly on the lips. He felt a slight sadness that he couldn't tell the woman he loved those words that were so important to Humans, those words that brought him so much joy.


	34. A non honeymoon in Paris, part 2 of 2

Advanced apologies, some chapters just flow from brain to page others struggle, this is a struggler so sorry if it's not up to scratch.

A non-honeymoon in Paris part 2.

Monday

Art shows many facets of the day-to-day lives of the painter. You could learn a lot of history from any single old painting. The Louvre contained many examples of ancient art, renaissance paintings and 19th-21st centaury art. Knowing the museum was too large to take in everything in a day Spock and Nyota decided on the exhibits that would interest them the most and Spock planned out the most Logical and efficient route. They had made the joint decision to miss the Vulcan exhibition, there would be plenty of opportunities later to see those kinds of artefacts in there proper settings. For the first time in their relationship it was Nyota who lectured him as they walked around. Spock listened completely transfixed by her. Although some of the facts she told him he already knew most were new to him, it seemed he had some gaps to fill in his knowledge. He enjoyed listening to her opinions, the way her eyes flickered over the pictures and the movement of her lips as she whispered to him. After a lunch quickly eaten on a bench at the palace de concord they headed back into the Louvre.

They wondered pleasantly along the lower galleries until Nyota saw a little sign and tapping his shoulder got her to follow him into a large room only occupied by three marble statues, two at either end and one stood on a pedestal in the centre obviously meant to be the centre of the Visitors attention.

Spock starred at the clear white form in front of him. The marble features were serene and peaceful but spoke of a strength and determination underneath. He wondered how stone could look human, so impossibly mobile. Vulcan statues tended to be severe and cold and immobile. He was struck by the fact that somebody had carved this statue out of rock with the simplest of tools. The cleanest of the lines the small curves. It would have taken skill, precision and patience. And that skill, precision and patience had not been arrived at through logic. She was the goddess of love; at the time this would have been the ideal of beauty. It was an expression of emotion.

" She is beautiful." Nyota said almost putting his thoughts into words.

" It is very pleasing. " He took a deep breath and considered what he wanted to say, how this one statue, more than anything else, made him feel that maybe there was something to the human side of his heritage. He had always ignored that half of his D.N.A., that half of his ancestry. He had always seen his human side as illogical, emotional, had always thought that it must have been more difficult for him to control his emotions because of those little human genes. But love, passion, desire, could it really lead to the ability to persevere at a difficult task. Not looking away from Venus he reached a hand out. He felt cool skin brushing up against his and he linked their fingers and slowly drew her into his mind. He felt her curiously following him and he led her further into his thoughts than he had let her before. Every thought and sensation she could feel. He sensed her understanding.

**You are part human Spock, and that part, well it's a good part, and you inherited the best of human attributes. **

**You are making me whole. I had never considered that denying my human half was illogical till you entered my life. I never knew how pleasant emotions could be and how I could remain logical without fully suppressing my emotions. I never considered a relationship could make me want to be ... Better.**

He said feeling so intensely grateful to her. He felt her warmth and then her presence was drawing away from him and then her fingers were gone. He turned to her. She looked into his eyes with intensity then stepped forwards two steps to stand side by side with him. Together they turned back to look at the Venus De Milo.

* * *

Spock and Nyota walked into the hotel bar, Spock imagined it was like hotel bars everywhere, except of course most of the hotels he had been in seemed to have higher aspirations and this one knew it was a little hotel bar and didn't try to be anything else. It had three tall seats at the small bar, three sofas in a c shape near a window and three small tables each with four un-matching seats around it. Two of these tables and the sofa were occupied; unfortunately the occupiers of the nearest table were the two Vulcan's. Spock considered completely ignoring them for a moment then decided that his bond mate was perhaps being a bad influence in some small ways. He held his hand up in the traditional Vulcan greeting.

" Live long and prosper."

The two Vulcan's stood Spock noticed that they were both wearing reddish orange robes. They obviously had no desire to fit into their surroundings. The male held his hand up in greeting.

" Peace and long life. I am Sannik this is she who is my wife."

Spock gave a small bow to the unnamed wife.

" I am Spock son of Sarek, this is my bondmate Nyota." He said gesturing to Nyota. She stepped forwards and curtsied prettily.

_" Sannik, it is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance and that of your lovely wife. May the teachings of Surek always serve you and the Vulcan sun always lend its energy to your lands."_

Spock watched Nyota, he was surprised but he did not let any emotion onto his face. It was a very old traditional greeting that was only used in one particular province, how she had figured out that they were from that area but he knew they were as a look of shock briefly passed across their faces. Sannik starred at Nyota for a moment and then bowed to her. His wife did not look pleased.

" Ayasham." Spock said turning to Nyota. " Perhaps we should get our drinks now."

Nyota looked a little puzzled at him, he had not told her of the incident in the hallway and so didn't realize he had no desire to talk to them. She smiled and gave a short nod to Sannik. They turned their backs on the Vulcan's and walked to the bar. Nyota ordered a ginger beer and glass of wine. Spock reached into the pocket of his jeans for his payment card only to find he had forgotten him an uncommon oversight on his part. He touched Nyota lightly on the shoulder.

" I must go to our room to receive my payment card."

She nodded and he headed back down the hallway to the stairwell. It took him three minutes and twelve seconds to return with his card.

When he re-entered the bar he was quite surprised to see Nyota and the Vulcan's stood together, Nyota was angrily pointing her finger in the face of Sannik and shouting at him.

" I thought Vulcan's were supposed to believe in equality, but you're just bigots. A shame to the name of the race, Spock is twice the man, twice the logical intelligent Vulcan you'll ever be."

" That is an illogical statement, Spock is only a half Vulcan."

Spock took five quick steps over to Nyota to place his hand on her shoulder as he saw very clearly in her mind that she was about to slap Sannik.

" Nyota, perhaps it is best that we leave."

" I have more to say." She said turning to him, he almost flinched at the anger on her face and in her tone.

" But I would prefer it if you did not say it."

**CALM NYOTA**

Spock saw the little startled look pass between Sannik and his wife. He gently took Nyota's arm and guided her back towards their room. She walked in angry silence. When they arrived in their room Spock accessed the replicator and ordered a camomile tea knowing it had a slight soothing effect on Nyota. He handed it to her and sat on the bed besides her waiting for her to be ready to talk. It was almost ten minutes until she finally spoke.

" Was it me or did the Woman actually look a little startled when we left?"

" You are good at reading miniscule facial movements."

" Of course I am I'm with you aren't I."

Spock raised his eyebrow at her, she sighed and looked down at her cup of tea.

" I didn't mean to snap at you."

" Perhaps you should meditate to calm yourself." Spock suggested.

" Can we talk about it?"

" If you feel that will help."

" They're bigots." She stated simply.

" What exactly was it they said that has affected you in this manner?"

" Why was she shocked."

" They could sense our telepathic speach and the closeness of our bond was a surprise to them, as bonds close enougth to share telepathic speach without much effort are rare they probably did not realize that it would be possible between a half-Vulcan and a Human. Now, what has affected you?"

Nyota took a deep breath; Spock could see her trembling with emotion.

" They said mating with Humans seemed to be an inherited fault. That you are weak and an abomination and something about science being misused to bring about your birth." She paused and spoke more softly.  
" They said that Lady Amanda should have died in Labour and you along with her."

Spock always imagined anger as a big red wave. He held it back from his mind with a big stonewall, later he would meditate to deplete it but until then it would froth and ebb at the edges of his consciousness. He had heard worst thing said about him and about his parents, he had even heard such things muttered by T'ping's family members and members of his fathers household who didn't want to see Spock as the heir to an ancient and influential family. But it still affected him; living on earth it had been years since he had heard these sorts of degoritary remarks (those given by humans were never quite a vicious). He also for some reason wished to correct the assumption that his conception was not natural but he did not see why he would wish that when it would not change thier opinions of him.

Nyota was looking up at him trying to judge his reaction he could feel her in his mind a little tingle searching for his reaction, as she obviously saw none on his face. He could still feel her anger though it was more a kind of sadness now and a slight worry. He wished to comfort her, she was not used to these remarks she was not used to the reactions some people still had about marrying and mating outside ones species. It was another thing Spock had been prepared for his entire life, he was meant to have married T'ping, who had always seen him as too human. He wished to comfort Nyota, this was meant to be a time where they could be free together, where they could enjoy each others company without looking over their shoulders to be sure nobody was watching, they were meant to be happy.

" Would you like a cuddle?" Spock asked.

Nyota looked up at him with shock as he opened his arms for her.

" How are you not angry?"

" I am angry but I have heard these things many times. I have more experience at suppressing anger than any other emotion."

" That's kind of sad." Nyota said leaning over to rest her head against his shoulder. Spock wrapped his arms around her holding her close and trying to send calming influences thought to her.

" Do not feel sorry for me Nyota, I have found my place now. I am accepted for myself in Star Fleet. I have you my bondmate and I have started to talk to my father again, I have a friend though..."

Spock tapered off thinking about Chris, their last Wednesday night drinks had been some what awkward though it was clear that the awkwardness would fade with time, Chris was not one to hold onto things for a long time.

" Though?" Nyota asked looking up at him with wide deep eyes.

Spock found himself shifting uncomfortably under that beloved stare.

" You are already angry."

Nyota pulled away from him.

" You have something to tell me that's likely to make me angry."

Spock wondered why he had brought up the situation when he had no intention of telling Nyota when she was already upset.

" I believe the word is opps."

" Tell me Spock." She pressed her palm to his cheek. " I'll try not to be angry with you."

Spock took a moment to think about how to explain his slip to Nyota.

" Two weeks ago I saw Christopher I told him you and I were bonded, he insisted that we drink to our new bond. I got very drunk."

" Was this the night I was ill and the next day you told me that you had been ill and you had not shut down our link and it was your symptoms I was experiencing? I thought it was odd, you don't usually get ill."

" I was ill, the Vulcan port leads to illness, it is a type of poison."

" You drank poison?" Her voice raised several octaves. Spock looked at her eyebrow raised.

" Okay." Nyota said. " I am a little angry that you would deliberately do that, didn't you realize how illogical that was? The captain is a bad influence on you, I'll be having words with him when we get back."

" There is something else."

" What is it?"

" I was intoxicated and the port has other effects, it was illogical. I should not have acted in such an improper way. You are my bondmate and I will never act in such a manner again."  
Nyota was starting to look worried now despite his reassurances.

" Spock?"

" I kissed him."

Nyota looked at him with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

" You kissed him?" She repeated tonelessly.

" In the elevator. It will not happen again."

Nyota bit her lip and looked down after a minute and three seconds she meet his eyes again.

" I'm not sure I quite understand, you kissed captain Pike in the elevator when you were drunk?"

" I apologise my Ayasham. You are the one I adore you are my bondmate the only one I have ever desired."

As he spoke a small smile was spreading on Nyota's lips, Spock was a little relieved, she didn't seem like she was about to scream at him and throw him out of the room.

" You kissed captain Pike." She said again.

" Yes." It didn't make sense but he seemed to see mirth in her eyes.

" Spock? I've never asked, I kind of just assumed, but I just want to check. You are straight right?"

" I am sitting."

She gave a little laugh.

" No, you are heterosexual? I mean I don't mind.."

" Non-heterosexuality is rare in Vulcan's. You are the only one I have ever desire and you are obviously female."

" Right."

She paused for a moment then began to laugh vigorously. Spock watched her a little concerned, it was not the reaction he had been expecting.

" You are amused?"

" I was just imagining the captain's face."

" He was shocked."

" I bet he was."

" Are we.. Is everything..." He stopped to consider his words. " Have my actions had a negative effect on our bond?"

Nyota looked at him from where she had flung herself backwards onto the bed whilst she had been laughing. She smiled slightly at him.

" No, I don't think so. Just don't do it again."

" I will not."

* * *

Tuesday

Nyota was being quiet, she stared pensively out of the window onto the small early morning street. They were sat eating breakfast in a small café. Spock refilled her tea and she looked up, she gave a small dazed smile and sipped at it.

"You are distracted." Spock stated.

"A little sad."

"What has saddened you?"

" Just, that we can't live like this forever."

"Forever."

"You know what I mean."

" Would you be satisfied to be on a permanent vacation? You would never get the chance to make first contact, to be the first person to translate a new language. Never be fulfilled."

She reached across the table and rested her hand on top of his.

" No Spock. Everybody feels sad at the end of a vacation. I don't really want to hang around Paris all my life, I just like spending all day and all night with you. " Her fingers began to trace circular patterns on the back of his hand. " It would be nice to wake up next to you more than one day a week."

" Nyota, when you graduate.."

"I know." She cut him off.

He stared at her.

" I know that you're set to be the first officer on the Enterprise. I want to be on the Enterprise, but..." She stopped as if not sure what to say.

" Captain Pike looks through the cadet records on a semi-annual basis and has mentioned his interest in having you on board though you will have to Impress the head of the communication department, who hasn't been chosen yet. And if that does not work we will qualify for family placement." The fact that he hoped they would be married to Star Fleets standards by that point went unsaid.

Her eyes glanced up at him from where they were watching the progression of her fingers.

" We'll make it won't we?"

"I promise you Nyota. We are bonded, we are always going to be together, we are always linked."

A wide smile spread on her face.

"Now, tell me more of what you will miss."

She flickered her eyelashes at him.

" Nyota, do you ever think of anything else?"

" Not when on holiday."

She took a bite of her pastry.

" I will miss pastries, I think I'll start eating them everyday. Will you love me when I'm fat?"

"I would prefer it if you stay in good health but my affection for you is not based on your physical appearance."

" Really?"

He raised his eyebrow.

" So if I got Aldo measles and my skin turns green."

" I would perhaps be even more attracted to you."

" Talax Flu with the big weeping wounds."

" I will wash them out with salt water and make you pepper tea."

" Killop worms."

" I hear that back massages help a lot with the discomfort that they cause."

" Um.. Wernics cholera six."

" I have never heard of that illness."

" I made it up."

He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

" Nyota, whatever happens, I am yours."

" How long before we have to return to reality?"

"We should leave in twenty minutes."

" Our last twenty Minutes in Paris."

He nodded. Nyota stood up and downed the rest of her tea and wrapped her croissant in a napkin.

" Nyota?"

" Just time for one quick stole down the Seine."

" Indeed." Spock answered standing to join her.

* * *

Spock took hold of Nyota's bag and flung it up into the overhead apartment. They would be on this public transport system ( that in comparison with Star Fleets shuttles was like a flying bus) for just under an hour then they would transfer to different planes, Nyota to go to Africa and Spock to San Francisco, the holiday was over and they would now be apart for nine days. Spock stood aside to let Nyota get into the seat next to the window, she had been silent on their short land vehicle ride to the airport and Spock knew that she was having troubling thoughts. He took his seat next to her and gently laid his hand on top of hers, she turned to him and gave a small sad smile.

" Spock do you have to go to back to the academy? Can't you come with me?"

" Are you ready to reveal to your parents that we are one?"

She looked away form him, her eyes focusing out the window as the plane gave a slight shudder and started to accelerate along the runway. The plane was starting to level out by the time she spoke again.

" No, I think.. I'm their youngest and I'm leaving earth in just over a year. I'm still their child, their baby girl and when I get stationed on a starship they'll have to let go of me, they'll have to see me as an adult have to accept all their kids have grown up and left home. " She looked at him, her eyes were slightly wet and he resisted the urge to take his harness off and hug her to him.

" I can't take that final year away from them Spock, I know I'm asking a lot of you.."

" I understand, I accept your point of view and your decision on this matter. As there is a small risk that they may see fit to make a complaint to the academy it is probably for the best that we wait until you have graduated."

Nyota squeezed his hand then absentmindedly ran her fingertips along the edges of his fingers causing little shivers to creep up his spine.

" I don't think they would complain, my Dad likes you, my mothers a little unsure I think, it's more likely that if Nyonda or Peter found out they would make complaints, Peters likely to hate anybody I take home though. It's a big brother thing." She explained when Spock sent her a tiny inquiring twinge. She looked down again nervously. " Can you not come spend Easter with my family as my friend, then they could get to know you better."

" Can you keep our relationship from your parents when I am there with you? If they suspect, which they will due merely to my presence in their home and they ask you directly will you lie to them or be truthful?"  
She sighed.

" Okay. But you must visit in the summer, we'll figure out a reason for you to be there, missing the heat or something, I'll talk to them about you this week let them know we're close that'll give them time to accept that we maybe in a relationship."  
"I accept that idea Nyota, I wish to be a part of your family."

Nyota gave him a swift kiss then went back to looking out the window, they would be landing in twenty minutes.

" I just miss you so much when you're not around." She whispered.

" The feeling mutual my Nyota."


	35. Illogical fears

Happily I am over the mild case of Writers block I had when writing the Paris chapter (nothing seemed to flow right.). This chapters got a bit of Chris and a whole heap of Gaila and McCoy seeing as they've not made an appearance in a while.

Illogical fears.

3rd week of April

Although Nyota was not present during the remainder of the two weeks of the April break Spock found it easier to concentrate than he had on previous occasions when she had been away. He put the change down to that wonderful ever-constant flicker of light at the edge of his consciousness. He took advantage of the break to get ahead in some of his duties. With just over a year until the official launching of the Enterprise and five months until she was moved to space dock for a battery of tests Spock began to compile a short list of candidates for the science department. He was given the extra task by Chris of reading through the records of applicants for head of departments and as Chris put it 'weeding out the weak'. Spock took this to mean getting rid of the applicants whose ability tests were in the lowest 30%, those who had shown certain deficits in their psychological profiles and those who had insufficient experience to run their own team. Lastly he made sure to put those who showed the best attributes, had made considerable contributions or showed a constant level of excellence in their areas at the top of the pile. It was part of the memory systems of humans that they stored more information from the first and the latest articles that they read. It was a first officer's duty to 'assist' his captain after all and the department heads would often be reporting to him, incompetence from them would slow the chain of command down and undoubtedly lead to him having to continually check over their work so no grievous errors were made.

With the rest of his time Spock assisted in the botany department. He helped with the gentle process of retrieving seeds from a delicate little plant that had some fascinating medical properties. It wasn't until the third day of working with the little plants that he noticed a rash breaking out before his eyes and rapidly spreading from under his gloves up his forearms. Though he was blocking any discomfort it was logical that he go to the hospital wing for examination in case some unknown toxin was creeping into his blood system.

He entered the hospital wing and showed the passing nurse Chapel the rash. As was to be expected based upon her previous behavior she saw the need to touch his arm above the rash and mutter 'oh you poor thing, you go relax on the bed over there and I'll get the doctor to come over." Spock nodded his ascent and went to stand by the bed she had indicated. He did not feel it necessary to sit, lie or as the nurse had put it 'relax'. After two minutes and three seconds Doctor McCoy approached wearing his usual 'pissed off with the world' expression.

" Hello Doctor McCoy. " Spock said aiming to get the required pleasantries over and done with before the rash reached his elbows. " How are you?"

"How am I?" McCoy answered angrily.

"I'll tell you how I am, I'm shit. I'm meant to have my little Joanna for the week but my Ex pulled some tricks at the last minute and sent her off to god knows where to some camp place."

Spock had been expecting the customary 'I'm fine, how are you'. Obviously the doctor was in some kind of distress and having difficulty controlling his emotions. It made Spock slightly uncomfortable. His discomfort was added too when without warning the doctor grabbed his wrist and poked at one of the larger green bumps on his skin with a needle. The doctor's emotions of loneliness, worry, anger and longing oozed into Spock's mind as a clear white liquid oozed from the pustule.

The doctor winkled his nose.

" Chemical reaction?"

" That would be my assumption, I was in the botany lab working with specimen Re mega 45. "

" I'm supposed to know what that is?"

" It is a..."

"I don't really need to know." McCoy cut him off running a medical scanner over his arm.

"Is Joanna your offspring?" Spock asked, the doctors previous statement had caused him some curiosity about the others life that he didn't usually experience.

"My daughter yes, is it necessary to talk like a robot all the time?"

" I was not aware my speech patterns were in any way comparable to a machine."

" I think it's a build up of an irritant in your system."

" My inability to speak like a sentiment being?"

The doctor gave him a quick annoyed glance. Then pulled a hypo from his belt and pushed it to Spock's neck. There was a sharp stinging sensation but Spock ignored it. The doctor gave a dissatisfied grunt then continued to run his medical scanner over Spock's arms.

" Do you want kids?" The doctor asked not looking up.

" Could this skin irritation in anyway impede my ability to reproduce?"

" No."

"Then why do you ask?"

"Well excuse me for trying to get to know the alien behind the pointy ears."

"You were making a personal inquiry as an attempt at camaraderie?"

"Forget it. I think it'd be best to bypass the dermal regenerator in this case, I've got a cream that'll do the trick, may take a couple of days though."

" The rash does not impede my ability to work. I will avoid the bio-labs for the time being. "

"Good idea."

"As for the personal inquiry, it is not something I have had cause to give much consideration. I believe offspring would be acceptable to me and I may even come to desire them when I am older. Even some Vulcan's say that they find parenting a rewarding experience. I believe social rules dictate once one has answered a personal inquiry they are permitted to ask the inquirer a question of their own."

"You want to ask me a personal question?"

" Not want, as I stated I believe it is allowed .."

The doctor threw his hands up in the air.

" Alright! Alright! I get it!"

"Do you find parenting rewarding?" Spock was unsure why he asked the question, perhaps it was something to do with the growing understanding between himself and his own father.

Something in the doctor's countenance softened slightly. When he spoke his voice was a lot less gruff than usual.

"Yeah, when I get to see her yeah. The moment you first hear that little heartbeat coming over the monitor your life changes." McCoy turned and walked away leaving Spock staring blankly after him. A few minutes later nurse Chapel appeared at his side and handed him a small tub.

" Apply three times a day and avoid soaps, chemicals and tight clothing."

" Thank you Nurse."

" Christine Mr. Spock, call me Christine."

"That would hardly be proper." Spock said taking the offered little tub and leaving the hospital wing.

* * *

Spock sat on the bench in one of the little gardens. The fact that Nyota would probably be passing that exact spot on the way from where her transport would have just arrived to her room had nothing to do with his choice to sit there. There was a crowd of newly returned cadets flocking down the path. Spock stood up to see the individual faces in the crowd. When he first saw Nyota he looked down to hide the little smile crossing his face. He walked towards her the crowd parting to let him pass. He walked beside her a couple of paces watching the small smile spread on her face.

"Cadet are you experiencing any discomfort?"

She turned to him and he noticed that she had trimmed her hair.

"Um.."

**Say yes.**

**"**Yes."

" I shall take your bag so you do not cause yourself further injury."

He carefully slipped the straps from her shoulder.

" Thank you commander."

"Thanks are not necessary Cadet."

He carried her bag to the student blocks in silence. For once there was not a huge crowd waiting in the foyer so they took the elevator up to her floor. Spock felt a tightening in his stomach as Nyota opened the door to her room, she glanced up and down the hallway and then nodded at him to let him know the coast was clear for him to enter. He followed her into the rather stale smelling room. He placed the bag on the floor as she cracked the window and took a cup into the bathroom. Spock watched curiously as she came back with it filled with water and tipped its contents into her now not so little purple star plant.

" How does the plant survive when you are not here?"

" I buy the warden pizza."

" You can leave it at my apartment in the future."

" Thanks."

She turned to him and raised her arms. Spock stepped forwards and pulled her into a hug. He let out a long breath as he buried his face into the crock between her shoulders and neck his fingers running through her hair.

" Hey." Nyota said.

" Hello."

" You know, being away from you.." She pulled away to look into his eyes. " It wasn't so bad this time."

" It is the strength of our link. "

"It's like you're still with me even when you're not."

He bent to place a soft kiss on her lips.

" That is the essence of being bondmates." He murmured against her lips. She untangled herself from him for a moment and laid on the bed on her side.

He raised his eyebrow and she patted the place of the bed next to her. Spock laid down close to her and they silently entwined their fingers and spent a peaceful half an hour laying together and occasionally stroking their fingers along each other.

"I dropped hints with my parents that we've become close friends." Nyota finally said. Spock nodded.

" How is the baby Akina?" Spock asked knowing that it was a topic that always made her happy.

She smiled and a strange gentle look passed over her face.

" She's talking, she calls me Ni-ta."

"Why does she not call you Nyota?"

"She can't quite manage it yet."

"Ah, am I right in the assumption that her lack of ability to pronounce your name is cute?"

" It's damned cute. You'll meet her at summer." She hesitated. " You will come, won't you?"

" I will come Ni-Ta."

Nyota giggled and ran her fingers along his ears.

" Don't ever do that again."

"Agreed."

She leaned over and kissed him, it was a wonderful warm kiss. He leaned closer to her molding his body to her soft curves. They didn't hear the door open.

"Great."

Spock and Nyota jumped away from each other guiltily. Gaila was stood just inside the door with a wide grin.

" Oh, I've got to do the righteous indignation look that Nyota gets."

" I'm on my own bed." Nyota answered.

Gaila glared in their direction, scowled and put her hands on her hips.

" What do you think commander? Have I got it?"

Spock straightened his uniform.

" I do not believe I have ever invoked a look of righteous indignation in Nyota."

" Perhaps you're not trying hard enough?"

"Why would I wish to invoke righteous indignation in Nyota?"

" Guess it's not at the top of your ' emotions I wish to invoke In Nyota' list."

Spock stood up.

" I do not own such a list. Excuse me Cadets it is time for me to depart." He nodded to Gaila and then turned to Nyota before leaving.

" When you have finished unpacking you may join me for dinner if you wish."

" I'll be there in half an hour Spock."

" I shall see you then."

* * *

Last week of April.

Spock watched Nyota as she washed vegetables. She was getting very good at blocking of parts of their link so that certain emotions were not transferred, however at times she did not manage to fully block the link so he could still ascertain her emotional state. He had believed that Nyota had been doing this for his comfort and he was still sure that most of the time that was true. This time though he had the strangest inkling that she was keeping her emotions from him for her own reasons. She handed him the spinach leaves that she had been washing for almost a full two minutes more than necessary. Spock tore the leaves and stirred them into the curry they had been preparing together.

"You are preoccupied."

She shook her head not meeting his eyes.

" It's nothing."

Spock took a spoon from his draw and dipped it into the curry then held it out to Nyota.

" I do not believe you would be worried about nothing."

Nyota took the spoon and tasted the curry.

"It's good, perhaps a bit more salt."

Spock nodded and took the saltshaker sprinkling the slightest amount in. Nyota began to set the table.

" Nyota, I am aware you are avoiding the question." He saw her hand freeze over the cutlery she was laying at the table. Her head bowed slightly but when she turned to him there was a light smile on her face.

" It's just... It's nothing, okay Spock."

He nodded his head slightly; he knew not to push her. He dished out the curry and rice and placed it in front of Nyota. Usually when they ate together Nyota would bring up a topic of conversation and they would talk in numerous languages for the duration of the meal, today they ate in near silence.

"I need to go back to the library and revise for finals." Nyota said when she had almost finished her food.

" I will accompany you."

"No."

Spock felt his eyebrow twitch. Did she really not want his company? She laid her hand on top of his.

" We're not meant to be seen together in public too often, remember?"

Spock nodded slowly, it was logical But still ... She did not want his company. They finished eating and she ached for his plate, he put a restraining hand on her wrist.

" I shall tidy. Use your time productively."

Nyota nodded she bent to kiss him on the cheek before leaving him. Spock placed the used dishes in the sanatisor and went to his meditation room, he was somewhat concerned by Nyota's behavior towards him.

* * *

1st May.

Spock looked over the little shop, to him it looked a little un-cared for which didn't speak well of the products it sold. A little bell jingled overhead as he opened the door, a quick glance up told him it was in fact a little bell and not a laser operated micro speaker. It did not surprise him, the owner of this shop disapproved slightly of technology.

A musty smell reached his nose and as he looked around the dim lit room he felt a slight excitement twanged inside him. Books, bound paper books. Rows and rows of them, he judged there to be close to twelve thousand. His finger traced over some of the closest volumes. His eyes flickered over the first twenty titles, he had never heard of any of them. Spock's fingers reached over the top of one of the oldest looking books. He gently teased it out from between two others and rested it in his palms. A shuffling of footsteps came from behind him and he saw a man coming out from an adjoining room. He was gray-haired and thin; he seemed to be close to his century birthday. He wore lose trousers and a green cardigan and little eyeglasses that rested against the bridge of his nose.

"Hello young man."

Spock inclined his head in response.

" Careful with that book it's over three hundred years old."

" I will be careful."

" Were you looking for anything in particular?"

" I am looking for a present for a young lady. "

" A rare young lady if she likes paper books."

" She is indeed a rarity."

The shopkeeper lowered himself into a chair.

" So you aren't looking for a particular title?"

"No. I have not given the gift as much consideration as I should have."

" Well then, feel free to browse."

" Thank you. I believe that my friend has on occasion visited this shop. She gave me a book of Vulcan poetry that I believe could have been purchased here. This is the only shop in the city that deals in rare and antique books."

The man peered over his glasses at him after a minute of looking him up and down he turned his back and headed to the adjoining room.

" So, " He said over his shoulder. "You're looking for a gift for Miss Uhura."

Spock felt a slight shock.

* * *

Two hours later Spock was sat in the shop with a pile of books at his feet. He had found several that he wished to read himself but he still had not found that perfect book for Nyota. He took a sip of the tea that Mr. San had given him. They had had some interesting conversations about various books they had both read and Spock had answered a few questions on other topics, space travel, languages he spoke, planets he had visited. had revealed that Nyota had been to his shop three times within the passed year, each time they had sat and drank tea and had introduced her to the old poets.

"Here." was coming from behind one of the bookshelves holding out a thick blue backed book. Spock took it from him and after reading the title ' A tourists guide to Vulcan' flicked through to read passages at random. It was a strange text, one whose existence he had never before considered. It had been written a few years after first contact by one of the first human visitors to Vulcan. He thought Nyota might find the writers' point of view and faux- passes emanating from cultural difference amusing. He looked up at .

"I will take it."

* * *

May 10th.

Spock would not allow himself to get frustrated. He straightened the pink paper again. He placed the book and the little box with the silver bracelet he had picked out the day previous on top of the book. He took a deep breath and folded the paper over the top it ripped. Spock scrunched the paper up in his hands. It was slightly satisfying. He reached for the third roll of wrapping paper, he did not understand why he couldn't wrap a present, it ought to have been simple he had very dexterous fingers.

The computer sounded its usual visitor trill.

"Identification?" He asked.

" Captain Christopher Pike."

"Come in." He said with raised voice.

Chris walked in to the apartment, as he was still wearing uniform Spock knew it was not a social visit.

" Hey Spock, I just wanted to collect..." Chris broke off when he saw Spock sat on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to wrap a birthday present for Nyota."

Chris ran his hand through his hair.

"Hau, has it really been a year already?"

"Indeed."

" I didn't get an invite this time?"

" Nyota believes you are a bad influence." Spock explained, though with the way Nyota had been acting Spock wasn't sure if he could figure out her motives at the moment.

"And so it begins."

Spock raised his eyebrow then went back to cutting the wrapping paper.

"I do not understand, nor wish to understand that statement." He answered after a minute of silence.

"I'd give up if I were you."

Spock glanced up, Chris had taken a few steps forwards so he seemed to tower over him.

"The present I mean." He explained at Spock's confused look. " Men cannot wrap presents."

" I know of no physical difference between genders that would result in that affect."

" It's scientifically proven."

Spock fixed his stare on Chris and held it there for a long moment. Chris had a habit of saying things were scientifically proven when they were obviously not, Spock thought it was his way of teasing him.

"And where may I find the details of that study?"

Chris hesitated.

"I forgot but it's somewhere."

Spock had got the paper wrapped snuggly around the gifts, he stuck a piece of adhesive tape to hold it together and the began to fold the opposite two corners only to find that despite his careful measurements the piece of paper he had cut off was not wide enough to properly cover both sides. He looked up at Chris who was definitely smirking.

" If it is indeed impossible for men to wrap present then what do you suggest I do?"

" Get a gift bag."

* * *

May 13th

A lonely landscape spread out in front of Spock. Red sand spread out to the light yellow sky, there were no rocks, no shrubs but the lightest of breezes, he breathed in and he could taste the slightest twinge of salt on his tongue as if a few miles from the sea. He felt calm and relaxed. As he sat looking out across the landscape a familiar figure approached him. The figure was wearing a white robe, he sat cross legged across from Spock. Deep brown eyes met deep brown eyes. Spock surveyed his inner self, he looked healthy, healthy and contented.

Spock felt a sudden panic, it was not an extreme panic but as he was in a calm state it hit him hard. The other Spock raised his eyebrow and disappeared.

Spock stood and looked around the landscape trying to see if there was any danger. He turned on the spot and saw another figure, he was 89% sure he knew who the figure was but it's back was turned from him and the long dark hair fell in a curtain around the face. Spock approached slowly, he knelt beside the figure now being 100% sure it the naked form was Nyota. He brushed the hair from her face and her wide eyes staring worriedly at him.

" What is wrong?"

"I'm scared." She said, but it was not Nyota's voice it was the voice of a very small child.

" I am coming, just hold on Nyota."

Spock felt himself being drawn away. He opened his eyes to the dim reddish light of his meditation room. He blew out the candles and headed to his com system he glanced at the clock, it was late but he knew Nyota was still awake.

It took three minutes for the screen to light up with Nyota's tired face. She was wearing her pink flannel pajamas.

They starred at each other through the com screens.

" Nyota, are you well?"

She stared at him and took a moment to long to answer.

" Yeah, I'm good." She gave a little shrug.

" I got the impression that something has caused you panic."

He could see her muscles tense at his words.

" No, no panic. Everything's good."

" You can confide in me Nyota."

She stared silently at her bedsheets for a long moment. Spock could feel the seconds tick away, then the minutes.

" Spock." She said her voice serious. " I do trust you.. Just..not..it's no big deal. When it's a big deal I'll tell you."

"You can tell me the little deals."

" Could you.. Could you leave it Spock."

"You will tell me when it's a big deal?"

She bit her lip and nodded.

" Then goodnight Ashayam."

" Goodnight Spock."

She hesitated for a moment then turned as if speaking to somebody out of view of the screen. Spock reminded himself that at that time of night Galia was probably in the room and maybe even asleep.

" My apologizes to Gaila for calling so late."

"It's okay. I love you." She said, her tone a little sad.

The screen went blank, Spock let out a little sigh. Why did he feel like Nyota was drifting away from him?

* * *

14th may.

Gaila opened the door for Spock, he gave her a short nod and walked in he could hear the shower running then it stopped he heard a few padding footsteps.

"Nyota's still in the shower." Gaila said.

" I had deduced that. How is the revision for your exams?"

" Oh, don't ask. I don't want to think about it."

" If you have any questions about your modules you can message me."

"Thanks commander. I just have one."

"Yes."

"What's on the exam?"

"Was that statement meant to be humorous?"

Gaila smiled at him. The smile quickly faded.

"Uh look commander." She said in a whisper. " Nyota, well she's not really in the celebratory mood tonight. I kinda had to force her into going out for an hour."

" I am aware of her emotional state."

Gaila looked at him oddly then shook her head.

"Empath thing, I got it. Well I was just saying be gentle with her."

"I am always gentle with her cadet. But I am glad for your concern."

Gaila shrugged.

"Hey, you're not the only one who cares about her."

" Indeed."

The bathroom door swished open and Nyota stood before them in Jeans and a white sweater, it looked perhaps a little overly casual considering Gaila was wearing a short silver dress and Spock had put on his waistcoat. She had bags under her eyes and when she smiled at him it was a weak smile. He wondered if at any into during the evening they would get a chance to be alone and he could kiss those tired eyes and perhaps get that little smile to shine a little brighter.

"Happy Birthday Nyota."

"Thanks Spock." She walked forwards and kissed him on the cheek. He held his little silver bag out to her and she gave another weak smile.

"You didn't have to."

"Social rules dictate.."

She held her hand up to stop him.

"Thanks Spock."

He nodded once. She put the little bag on her desk next to two other parcels he assumed were also gifts sent by friends or family.

"Shall we go then?" She asked.

Spock and Gaila both agreed though somewhat half heatedly. Spock watched Nyota carefully as they walked to a little pub off campus, her gait was fast as if she were trying to distance herself from them but her shoulders were slouched as if extremely weary. Gone were the confident graceful strides he had first noticed two years ago in Africa. Nyota did not speak much as they walked but Gaila kept a steady monologue going about previous occasions she had visited this particular establishment. Spock found it difficult to keep up with all the names of different men she mentioned during that monologue.

They sat down and after the fewest amount of words possible were spent Spock was at the bar ordering an orange juice for Nyota, sex on the beach for Gaila and a root beer for himself. When he returned to the table Nyota and Gaila were talking quietly, their conversation stopped the instant he sat down.

" Commander." Gaila turned to him, she seemed less uncomfortable around him than she usually did and Spock put it down to having spent sufficient time around him outside of the teacher-student situation.

"I heard there was another new planet discovered."

" Yes, it has been assigned the name Tao45 x3."'

"Catchy."

"Initial surveys suggest it has a good supply of residian ore."

"Does it have life forms?"

"Yes, in insect form."

Gaila shivered slightly.

"Do you have a problem with insect forms of life?"

" Only when they're gigantic."

" That is a relative term."

" Nine foot mosquitoes." Gaila said as if by explanation.

"There has been very little description of the forms of life in the preliminary reports."

"Tad'si's planetary sods law."

"I have never heard of this."

"There are always nine foot mosquito's." Nyota answered. Spock raised an eyebrow and she continued.

" Tad'si's sod law is a list of twenty jest laws that federation cadets put on their walls. Whenever anything goes wrong you say 'Tad'si's law."

" There are always nine foot mosquito's is number 20." Gaila added.

"Number five the captain and the first officer will always be kidnapped at the same time."

"Number eight The most attractive aliens will never be the gender you think."

"Number twelve, androids always want to be living beings."

"Number fifteen if an alien steals your body they will always have sex with your significant other."

"Number nineteen, Just when you think things can't get any more complicated another you from a different dimension will show up."

"All these things are highly unlikely." Spock said.

"It's humorous." Nyota replied. There was silence again as they sipped there drinks. Gaila was starting to look bored then suddenly she smiled and stood up to wave. Spock turned to see who had attracted her attention. McCoy was stood in the entrance he waved back and headed to the bar.

"Did you invite Doctor McCoy?" Spock asked Gaila.

"Yeah, but he wasn't sure if he could make it."

McCoy came over and placed a bottle of wine and four glasses on the table. Then bent to kiss Nyota on the cheek Spock found himself clenching his fist.

"Happy birthday Uhura."

"Hi Len, thanks for coming."

McCoy shot Spock a look as he sat down.

"Mr. Spock, it's rare to see you out with the cadets."

"This is only the third time I have been invited out by cadets since my own graduation, on two of those occasions I have attended."

" Both Uhura's birthdays. "

Nyota looked at him for a long minute before speaking and when she did there was still something unusual in her tone.

"What was the third?"

" I believe I was asked out on what humans call 'a dare'."

"Now why would they do that I wonder?"

McCoy said as he started to pour out four glasses of wine. Spock saw Nyota shooting him an annoyed look.

" Apparently I am considered intimidating and unapproachable by some."

"I used to think that but not anymore."

"Thank you Miss Gaila."

"Now I know you're just a big softy."

There was a snort of laughter from McCoy and Spock was glad to see a small but true smile grace Nyota's lips. It disappeared for a second when McCoy placed a glass of wine in front of her and was quickly replaced with a fake one as she thanked him. He also saw the quick knowing glance that passed between her and Gaila.

"So uh.. Your sister couldn't come this year." McCoy asked. There was a collective tension around the table as he asked about the sensitive subject.

" No. She couldn't."

"Shame."

"Yeah we all know how much you 'enjoyed' her company last year." Gaila answered. Spock caught the implication.

"You had sexual relations with Nyota's sister?"

McCoy choked on his drink.

"Watch your mouth!"

"Spock, Len is a gentleman." Nyota said quietly.

" The young lady threw herself at me." McCoy said awkwardly glancing at Nyota. It was obvious he didn't know that there was nothing that could lower the esteem Nyota had for her sister any more than it had already been.

"But she was drunk so I left her at the door to her hotel. Not that there would have been anything wrong with it, I am divorced."

"It's okay Len." Nyota said. " I know what my sister can be like."

They sat for a few more minutes talking about revision techniques. Then Len excused himself for a few minutes, during that time Gaila kept a running monologue about exam stress. She was so distracted that she reached out and drank Nyota's glass of wine as well as her own.

A little under two hours after they arrived Nyota said she was feeling tired and Gaila replied she too was feeling a little sleepy. Spock was a little surprised as he could usually sense Nyota's tiredness but she had been quiet all evening so perhaps she really was tired. The evening had been nothing like her previous birthday, Nyota did not seem to be having fun and even Gaila was a little more withdrawn from usual. They had all walked back to the campus together then split up to go to their own rooms. Spock had briefly touched his fingers to Nyota's before saying goodnight. He was surprised when McCoy started walking side by side with him.

"Doctor."

" I'm in block D."

Spock nodded block D was behind the staff apartments.

"What's up with Nyota?"

" I do not know."

"I thought you were close."

Spock didn't comment.

" I know Vulcan's kiss with their fingers."

Spock stopped walking and turned to face the doctor.

" I should inform you that if you plan on making a complaint that It is not a kiss in the Human sense of the word and therefore not against the rules."

" The way you're continually watching her, making sure she's safe and alright."

"Doctor.."

"I don't think you're going to hurt her, I don't think you'd ever let yourself do anything that might even result in causing her pain."

"You are protective of Nyota, you disliked me when you thought I would cause her pain. Now you think I will help protect her you seek to make a connection with me."

"She's a friend Spock, now I don't expect you to understand a dammed thing about friendship but at least accept that when us emotional human's feel friendship for each other they become slightly protective as well."

Spock raised his eyebrow.

"I will have to take your word on it doctor." He said before walking away.

* * *

May 16th

She had come to him, she had not come to him in the previous Saturday and he had missed her skin and her teasing fingers and watching her sleep. After making love she had fallen asleep in his arms and he had lain awake watching her for several hours, she was so peaceful her face lacking the little worry line between her brows that had been a permanent feature over the last two weeks.

He kissed her neck gently before allowing himself to sleep. A hand tugging at his arm waked him suddenly, he moved it immediately and felt the cool presence beside him move. As his head cleared he heard the quick padding of feet and then the swish of the door. The next noise made him jump out the bed he ran to the bathroom to see Nyota sat in front of the toilet retching into the bowl. Spock knelt over her and gathered the hair around her face and held it back as she retched once more. She coughed and tried to take a couple of deep breaths.

"Water?" Spock asked once he thought she could manage without him for a minute. She nodded her head and he ran to the kitchen and filled a glass of water. When he returned to crouch next to her he felt a deep dread in her, he handed her the water which she slowly sipped and wiped a tear from her face with his thumb.

"I'll call Doctor McCoy."

"No." She said panicked looking up at him.

"You are ill." Spock said confused.

"I'm fine, just... I tried the Orion option today."

" Even so, you should see the doctor." Spock said standing up to make the call.

"NO SPOCK!" She shouted. Spock froze, she had never shouted at him before. He turned to stare at her; the tears were running freely down her face as she looked down at the floor.

"I just, I just need to go sleep in my own bed." Her voice trembled.

Spock nodded slowly.

" Can I.. Can I use your shower first?"

"You know you do not need to ask."

Spock watched her stand up, flush the toilet and turn on the shower.

" I will be in the bedroom if you wish to talk to me Nyota."

She nodded and he left her as she stepped into the shower. Ten minutes later as he sat on his bed going over various things that could be causing Nyota's bout of sickness he heard her coming out the bathroom. When she walked into the bedroom she was still crying softly.

"I'm sorry Spock."

" Human's often get emotional when they are ill."

"And I'm just human." She gathered her clothing from where he had folded them before sleeping and started to get dressed.

"Nyota, I accept your apology but still I suggest you see a doctor."

"How about a compromise. If I am still feeling unwell tomorrow I'll go to the hospital wing."

Spock nodded though he was not content with the answer.

" Very well, if I do not see you in lecture tomorrow I will ring to check your condition has not worsened." He watched as she finished tugging her jumper on, he wanted her to stay but knew that once she had made up her mind she very rarely changed it. Instead he started getting dressed to walk her home.

* * *

May 18th.

Spock was writing a reference for an ex- student when he felt a sudden gut wrenching panic, he found himself doubled over gasping for breath. The room span and he wondered if he would collapse or throw up or possibly both. It took him two minutes to regain his regular breathing and heart rate. The moment he had control over his own body he knew where the panic had come from. The strong link in his mind seemed some how frayed but she was still alive, still well as far as he knew. He rushed over to the com link his fingers trembling as he typed in the code. Gaila answered, her face displayed some worry.

"Uh commander."

"Where is Nyota?"

"Umm.." She looked to the left, towards the apartments bathroom. " I don't think you can talk right now."

"Gaila has something happened?"

Her eyes flickered worriedly to the left again and she bit her lip.

"I really have to go now Commander."

"Gaila tell me she is uninjured or I will have to bring a doctor to your room."

"She's not injured Spock, she just..." Her head snapped to the left and Spock heard the murmur of speaking but even his ears couldn't pick up the words being said though he knew who was saying them. Nyota was there, but she didn't want to talk to him. The realization made him feel sick again.

**Nyota? **He reached out to her with his mind.

**No Spock, please.**

The voice was small and upset; it made his chest hurt a little. He knew he did not have any choice, it was a moral law that you could not access somebody's mind without their permission. He gently backed out of her mind and felt it closing off to him as he did so. She was setting up barriers so that he would only gain the lightest impression of her emotional and physical state.

"Sorry Commander, It's .. It's girl stuff." Gaila said looking at him with pity.

He nodded slowly. He did not know what 'stuff' one gender and not the other could only talk about but he had to respect her privacy. She would run further from him if he pushed her for information at the wrong point. He had to wait for her to come to him, even if it caused him mental discomfort. It was a little comfort to him that she had Gaila with her he knew that the girl would take care of her. Chris had made the right choice after all.

Spock nodded slowly.

" She knows that I am here if she wishes to talk later."

Gaila nodded.

"I'll remind her for you."

"Take care of her Gaila."

"I will."

" I am grateful to you."

The Comlink shut down. Spock decided that the reference could wait. He's emotions were boiling inside of him, battling to get the surface. He left his office to go meditate.

* * *

May 25th

Spock gave his lecture with precision and perfect pace but as he spoke he was always perfectly aware of Nyota's mood and facial expressions. She had not been to his apartment in over a week. They had not spoken except a few brief phone calls. Exams started in a week and for the first time in two years she was not listening to his lecture. She showed signs of sleep deprivation and he knew she was still nauseous as she was sipping at a bottle of water and she had never had water with her in lectures before, even during the heat wave the previous year.

For the last week he had found it hard to concentrate on his work, he was preoccupied with the idea that Nyota was ill. He had been meditating for much longer than usual to rid himself of his illogical fears that she would leave him. His mind had come up with many different imaginary situations where she was dying from an illness or that she had found another lover and wanted to leave him. For some reason the meditation was not working to stop these illusions. He knew the only way was to get her to talk to him, to tell him what was really wrong.

" Revise well. Class dismissed, Cadet Uhura stay behind please."

He saw her hesitate as she slung her bag over her shoulder.

**Okay Kipenzi.**

She walked down the stairs towards him and waited as he packed his PADD's. Spock looked nervously around making sure the last of his students had left then he laid his hand gently on Nyota's shoulder, desperate for the reassuring contact.

" You were distracted from your lesson today." He said in the smallest whisper.

" Your anxiety has been steadily increasing, I can feel it. Please Nyota, if I cannot directly help then maybe I can comfort you."

Spock saw the tears in her eyes as she looked down at the floor. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze he could feel her worry and wondered for the first time if she was keeping her worry from him as it would affect him in some way. Her eyes flickered to the side, looking over his shoulder instead of directly at him. She sighed and straightened her back with resolve. Spock was hopeful, he thought that she would finally tell him what was wrong and together they could begin to deal with it. He was her bondmate, it was his duty and his honor.

After several deep breaths Nyota finally meet his eyes with a cool determination.

" I'm late." She said seriously.

Spock let his hand drop away from her shoulder. He felt his heart sink at her words. He looked away from her and let a little sigh escape his lips.

" Very well, You may go Cadet."

He said letting her leave for whatever appointment she had that was more important to her than confiding in him.

Nyota starred at him a moment her mouth slightly open in shock, her eyes turned hard and she turned her back on him walking out of the room with quick and heavy steps muttering something about pointy ears impairing brain functions.

Spock sat in one of the chairs and rested his head against his palm for a moment. Nyota's behavior had seriously confused him, they had been so happy and open with each other in Paris and then a month later something panic's her and she shuts down part of their link and begins avoiding him. He knew she kept having instances of dread and worry and confusion and he knew she had been having some stomach problems and some sleepless nights. Then today, he really thought she was going to tell him what was causing her so much concern and she just say's she's late and acts surprised and angry when he tells her she can leave. Her behavior is a complete mystery to him.


	36. Maybe?

This is a M rated one guys (for sex). So if you shouldn't be reading it then don't.

The writers block attacked again, along with new modules and a second hand copy of 'I am Spock." Basically, sorry this is later than I expected, it did need a lot of editing ( I still don't think it's right but as it's a big chapter emotion wise I doubt it would have ever been right).

* * *

**Maybe?**

Early morning may 26th

Spock peered through the gap in the thin curtains his mother had insisted on. His mother was sat crying in her bedroom. He felt wrong, he did not have a name for the emotion he felt but it was wrong. He wondered if there was anything he could say or do to stop her tears. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and turned to see his father looming over him, he always seemed so tall and Spock felt a twinge of guilt knowing he should not have been peering through his parent's window.

_"What is wrong with mother?"_

_"She is saddened."_

_"Why is she saddened?"_

His father starred at him for a moment before answering as if he were judging whether he was old enough to understand.

_"Your mother had thought she was going to provide me with another heir and you with a sibling but the Infant within her was weak and did not survive."_

Spock nodded solemnly; he thought he understood, a little.

"_You are only three years of age Spock but perhaps one day when you are older you will come to understand the insuppressible emotions a parent feels for a child even an unborn child."_

_" Emotions?"_ Spock asked puzzled_. "Grown up Vulcan's do not have emotions." _

His father briefly touched his shoulder again then turned to walk away.

His three childhood tormentors were stood in front of him looking down at him with their emotionless eyes.

_"He maybe a Half-breed abomination but at least he can't spread his disease."_ The middle Boys lips quirked slightly. "_Maybe you lack the intelligence to apply the information to yourself. "_ He's voice slowed down, slowly pronouncing every word.

_"Hybrids are sterile."_

He was laying in a bed in hospital his body functions out of control, blood pressure and heartbeat racing. She was near he could tell that she was near. Then he heard a Voice.

" Finally come for your hypos I see."

" No."

" You're No longer covered by last years contraception or flu jabs, really a phobia of hypospreys is ridiculous."

His mother was sat across from him sipping at a glass of amber liquid.

" I do not understand."

" If you wish to avoid accidents then you can get a contraceptive jab from Doctor Puri, it's not entirely effective on Vulcan's so Nyota would have to get one to."

Spock felt as if the top of his ears would catch on fire, but as far as he knew Vulcan's don't spontaneous combust.

" Mother I was not talking of Spawning. "

They were in bed on a Saturday morning light fell across Nyota's skin giving it a slight golden gleam. His fingers lightly traced the dreamlike patches of gold. Nyota straddled him, he watched her face as she lowed herself onto him her eyelids flickering shut and her mouth opening slightly. He rested his hands lightly against her hips as she moved. She rested her head against his shoulder her breaths sounding in his ear. He placed little kisses down her neck her pace increased and he felt a deep rumbling growl come out.

"I love you. I love you Spock." She muttered against his ear as she sucked on its tip.

"Nyota." He growled pulling her closer to him. He felt the trembling start in his limbs. The pressure building in his abdomen. His fingers gripped her hips a little tighter holding her still as his hips bucked, muscles clenched around him. There was a long moan in his ear and he felt an intense rush of pleasure as he released into her.

Doctor McCoy was looking down at his hand, his face displayed expressions of sadness.

"The first time you hear that little heartbeat your life changes."

Spock woke from his troubled sleep feeling tired. His dreams confused him there was a link between the memories, but something about them didn't make sense. Why was his mother's inability to conceive a child after him linked with the bullying he had experienced as a child? Why would he recall the incident where he had been told he was sterile when later research into mixed humanoids had suggested that wouldn't be the case? Why was that morning he had spent making love to Nyota linked with doctor McCoy telling him about his child? And the biggest question, why would he be having these strange dreams now?

Something, some knowledge was sitting at the edge of his consciousness. He did not want to meditate, he felt that he would find himself stuck in a turmoil hazardous like landscape. Instead he got up, changed and went to his office to do and endless stream of jobs with little real importance except to serve the purpose of taking his mind off the dreams and Nyota's behavior.

* * *

Late night 26th.

Spock was changing into his nightclothes when his com chimed. He pulled his uniform top back over his head and went into his front room. He opened his com link and noted tiredly that it was Nyota who appeared on screen. The day had been full of various students coming to him with last minute problems, staff that should be able to handle the last weeks of term better were also coming to him for help on trifling matters. And all through the day something, maybe worry though he wasn't comfortable admitting it to himself was nudging at the back of his mind. It wanted his attention, wanted him to stop his duties and concentrate on his relationship with Nyota. She was his and something was getting between them and although he was her bondmate, her husband, he did not know how to help her. For once he felt nothing when he looked at her image on the screen just the small realization that she seemed as tired as he was.

"Nyota, it is near midnight. Why are you not sleeping?"

"I can't sleep." She answered.

"I to have been disturbed of late."

"I'm guessing that's my fault." She said quietly.

"I am concerned for you but to blame you for what is a natural concern for ones bondmate would be illogical. Nyota, I am glad that you have contacted me I was under the impression that I had angered you in some way."

"You had. But I realize that we just misunderstood each other so." She gave a little smile " It would be illogical to blame you."

"Is there a reason you have called?"

"Can I come over?"

"You are welcome at all times Nyota."

" I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Spock nodded and the screen went blank. He turned the thermostat down, smoothed his bed sheets and took Nyota's belongings that were kept hidden in his closet into the bathroom so that she could wash and change if she wished. He finally went into the kitchen and stated to boil milk on the stove. Just as it hit the optimum temperature he heard the door swish open. His ears picked up the soft footsteps and he turned to see Nyota still in full uniform stood in the kitchen doorway.

"What are you cooking?" She asked.

"I am making cocoa." He answered. He had purchased the drinking powder two weeks before after Nyota had replicated hot cocoa and pronounced it unsatisfactory. He turned back to take a mug and canister of cocoa out his cupboard. He felt hands glide over his shoulder and felt Nyota's cool breath on the back of his neck as she leaned her forehead between his shoulder blades and continued to wrap her arms around his stomach. He paused what he was doing for a moment to relish the feeling of having her close to him after what had seemed like a long time of absence. He gently laid one hand over hers and used the other to flip the lid, break the foil sealing with the spoon and heaped a couples of spoonfuls of brown powder into the mug. He reluctantly disentangled himself from Nyota and poured the hot milk into the cup, stirred it vigorously and turned to give it to her. She gave a small satisfied smile as she took a sip.

"It's good." She muttered. He gave a short nod.

"Did you wish to talk to me about something?" She froze, her muscles instantly tensing . Her face turned to a blank mask and the little bit of her mind that she had left open to him snapped shut in an almost painful way.

"I will take that as my answer. Why did you come here tonight?"

"I wanted to sleep next to you."

Spock wondered if that would be enough? Was his presence enough to cause her some relief from her emotional distress? He could think of nothing else that he could do. Not if she refused to tell him the cause of it. Yet he knew for sure it would be of some comfort to him to know she hadn't completely abandoned him.

"I would like that." He turned to look at her and then reached out to take her hand leading her into his room where they laid on the bed and he curled his body around hers whispering words to her that disappeared like vapors seconds after they had been spoken. They both slept dreamlessly through the night.

* * *

27th May

Spock looked at the computer, he's fingers reached out to the keys. They stopped. He took a deep breath and focused upon finding the knowledge he needed with no emotional attachment to it. Vulcan women are fertile all the time but he had learnt early after his move to earth that Human females menstruate and are only fertile for a brief amount of time. But apart from this he had never had much cause to research the human female fertility cycle. He had to question himself why he was doing this? Why was his unconscious mind not so subtly nudging him in this direction? Perhaps it was that little sentence Gaila had spoken "Sorry, commander girl stuff" He had heard this phrase before and been told that it was in reference to the young lady having muttered it having felt ill due to being in what Nyota herself referred to as 'the messy part' of her cycle. He and Nyota had fallen into an unspoken understanding that for one week every month there would be no sexual contact between them, to Spock this was just an acceptable part of having a non-Vulcan mate.

He typed human female fertility into the search engine, it came up with various scientific articles. After reading two they began to repeat themselves, they had not given him any information of use that he was not already privy too. Trying to figure out what that illusive little piece of information was he went back to the search engine. Obviously for some illogical reasons he could not fathom Nyota was willing to speak to Gaila about her for want of a better word illness, and not him. Girl stuff. Could it simply be that where the Vulcan's never talked of their cycles or sexuality there were things, which earthlings did not openly discuss with the opposite gender? If he could get an inkling of what these things may be then he might deduce what was wrong with Nyota. Finally he found something of use, a website where woman put up messages describing problems and others gave them advice. He looked over the posts, most were health related or woman suffering abuse or fearing infidelity from their partners, Spock could not even consider either of those things in relation to Nyota. He clicked onto another page read a few posts dismissed them and moved onto another, it was when he scrolled to the bottom of the page he saw it. A post saying the exact words Nyota had said 'I'm late.' If the poster was indeed late why did she continue to sit on the computer typing? Did these words have another meaning? He stared at it for a moment, it was illogical to fear information and yet for some reason he feared the truth that was lying behind those two seemingly harmless little words.

He clicked the post.

_My partner and I have been trying to get pregnant. My period is two week late but we've been trying so long... I don't want to tell him and get his hopes up only to discover it's a fluke. I haven't had any morning sickness but I know that doesn't come till later. Are there any signs I can see now?_

Spock felt himself stiffen, periods, what human woman referred to as part of there menstrual cycle. According to the post lateness in this stage suggested pregnancy. Could Nyota suspect she was pregnant? Was it even possible? It was like a jigsaw, fitting together lots of puzzle pictures making an all to clear picture. His fingers rushed across the keys, his eyes flickered over articles on early signs of pregnancy, inter-species fertility the inefficiency of the contraceptive jab on Vulcan's. The puzzle pieces rapidly slotted together morning sickness, the sudden feeling all replicated foods were tasteless, mood swings. Fear and worry but he could relieve those.

Had something been made between them? Something distinct and living and growing. Something that would last beyond them. Something part him and part her but entirely unique. His child, Nyota's child. A thing of beauty and wonder and love. He could not center himself in the world he was so lost in the idea of it. The most wondrous thought that had ever surfaced in his mind. Why had he feared it?

Gradually something of himself came back. The scientist needed confirmation. Confirmation could only come from one source, Nyota. It was time to face the situation at hand. He turned from the screen and typed the memorized number into his Com system. The screen went blue and stayed blue. Nobody was home, he scolded himself that in his rush he had forgotten that Nyota would be training in the array lab.

"Computer record message." He said and waited for the little beep.

"Nyota." He said seriously. " It is time that we talk. Get in contact with me when you get this message." He closed down the link. And sat for a minute wondering what to do next. His heart was beating too fast his thoughts were swirling in such a manner that he couldn't grasp one long enough for it to fully form. He checked his clock, Nyota wouldn't leave the lab for another thirty minutes, time to run several laps around the edge of the grounds. He got changed into a T-shirt and jogging pants and left knowing he wouldn't see a single thing he passed on his route.

* * *

He had just arrived back at his apartment and had stripped of his shirt when he heard the door swish open. He went out his bedroom and saw Nyota stood in the front room she stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

**Oh god he knows.**

"You're projecting."

Nyota starred at him he could hear her heart beating faster. She was very pale and he unconsciously took two steps closer to her.

"Nyota, please sit." He said fearing she was about to faint.

She took a few unsteady steps and collapsed into her favorite chair.

He took a few more steps forwards so he was only a foot away from her. She wouldn't look up to meet his eyes.

"Nyota.." He sighed not knowing how to begin. It seemed the matter need delicacy, he needed to utilize everything that he had learnt about dealing with human emotions, needed to lead slowly up to the question, reassure her that whatever the situation was he would be with her. For hours his mind had been buzzing and now with her sat in his apartment silken hair flowing down to hide her face it had gone completely empty.

He watched for a long time as her hands rubbed nervously against each other the silence between them growing thick. Then she suddenly stood up.

"I should.." She said blankly pointing to the door.

_"Nyota are you carrying my child?"_ He blurted not even realizing he was speaking his native turn.

She froze her dark eyes boring into her he heard her breaths panting out strangely loud.

"Maybe."

He reached his hands out towards her but didn't touch her.

"Maybe?"

She looked down at the floor.

"I can't go to the medical wing as the star fleet doctors would have to report it. And then if I am... Well if I am they will see it's a quarter Vulcan and that means the father has to be half Vulcan and as you told me the day we meet." Nyota's fast panicked speaking tapered off.

" I am the only half Vulcan half Human in existence and therefore would be the only possible father of the child." Spock said.

He clasped his hand behind his back to hide that they were shaking.

"What is the likelihood that you are indeed .."

"Preggers, in a delicate condition, in the family way, bun in the oven, up the duff, carrying alien spawn." Nyota shouted angrily. Spock found himself taking a step backwards. He didn't understand where the sudden emotional outburst had come from, nor did he understand the string of phrases she had emitted.

"Are these curses."

She shook her head.

"What?"

"You are shouting in the tone of voice that suggests you are cursing but I have not heard the phrases humans are very inventive with their curses."

She starred at him and slowly shook her head and then as sudden as the anger she burst into tears. Spock watched in surprise as her body shook with waves of emotions. Shaking himself out of his slight comatose state he pulled her into a hug. She sobbed against his shoulder as he stroked down her back and made little noises his mother had used to calm him as an infant. He felt impotent and confused, was she or wasn't she pregnant? and why had she chosen to avoid him instead of talking to him?

"A baby's a bun and I'm the oven." She muttered against his neck hiccupping slightly twice within the sentence.

"That is an illogical statement."

" I don't know what to do Spock."

"I will make you an appointment with a civilian doctor. We will decide on a course of action once we know the extent of your condition."

"I'm scared."

Spock did not know what to say. He pressed his lips gently against her cheek hoping it would be enough, he could not even determine what his own emotions were let alone the surge that came from her.

" It is due to you suspecting this that you have been somewhat more emotional than usual?"

"I just.. So unsure.. Didn't think it was even possible... Is this because I didn't have the jab? I thought because you'd had it.. "

" It is possible. It is only 78% effective in Vulcan's. As I am half-Human I suspect it is between 78% and 98.9% effective for me."

He pulled away from Nyota when he noticed the breathing against him became haggard and breathy.

"Nyota."

"Can't.. Breath." She gasped.

"Nyota." He said worriedly. "It is anxiety, take a deep breath."

She stared at him and he watched her chest move as she took a deep breath and started coughing. He ran his hand up and down her back worriedly watching the movements of her chest and lips till he was certain her breathing was back to normal. He ran his thumb across her cheeks wiping away some of the tears. They were quickly replaced. He wondered whether he had ever felt so impotent, so hopeless to resolve a situation.

"What are we going to do?" Nyota asked.

" I will need more information before I can formulate a plan. Is there any other condition that could cause your symptoms?"

He knew the answer from the expression on her face. Though she had not seen a doctor she was certain, she was certain that she was pregnant. There would be a child.

He shut his eyes trying to escape the look on her face. He took five deep breaths and built a new wall in his mind. It was not confirmed, make plans but it is illogical to panic before it was confirmed. Find a doctor, a good doctor, one who would be able to foresee any complications caused by the mixed genetics of the fetus. The child, his child, a son .. Maybe a daughter. A beautiful clever daughter with milky brown skin. A son with deep dark eyes and floppy black hair. Beauty beyond belief. Clever children with talent for science, language or maybe the artists his mother would adore. He would teach, him, her, his child to play the lute, to play chess he would watch them play and dance and they would be 3/4 human so they might be able to tell jokes. He would love to hear his child tell a joke, literally love it. He could think that now.. Love. He would love his child. He felt himself smiling but he was getting ahead of himself, have it confirmed, make a plan, keep her safe.

"Spock? Spock, you've gone kinda blank. Spock, please, I need you."

"I am here Nyota." He said shaking himself from the images of his possible offspring.

"Formulating plans?"

"Yes, formulating plans." He said.

"Spock, I don't want..."

"I think this is wonderful."

She stared at him, for some reason she looked devastated but he convinced himself he was just reading her wrong.

"Spock..."

He felt the sudden urge to kiss her and followed it. He pulled back and held her close to him breathing in the smell of her, trying to get passed the soapy smell to the scent of her body wanting to know if it had changed.

"I will make you an appointment. Do you wish me to go with you?"

Her fingers scratched along his chest.

"No." She said quietly. "No, I'll go on my own."

" Isn't it usual on earth for the father to go to the doctors appointments."

" Just drop it Spock."

Spock felt a slight worry cut through his happiness, there was still something wrong. He kissed her gently again, he still didn't know what to do but he felt that thing he'd identified as love filling him. He would have to push some of that emotion away before he could figure out what she was feeling.

"As you wish."

She rested her head against his shoulder and they stood there for a long time then she pulled away from him tears still in her eyes and he felt a little trickle of emotion from her. She was angry with him, she was confused, and she was disappointed. They were not the emotions he would have wished her to feel.

" I'm going to go study."

It seemed like a strange time to do so to him but he knew how concerned she was about her exams perhaps that was the cause of some of her anxiety?

" I know you need to study Nyota but are you able to do so in your current emotional state?"

" Yes." She turned from him and she knew as that link was inching open that she wanted to get away from him. He watched her go feeling that even though he now knew what had been upsetting her the distance between them had not closed.

* * *

It didn't take long after Nyota had left to find the best fertility doctor in San Francisco. Further research showed that he had some experience (had written several articles) with mixed genetic fetuses. He had got the contact information and made a phone call he had told the secretary that it was imperative his wife was seen quickly as possible as the fetus was mixed genetics and he had known that this particular genetic mix needed immediate care for the fetus to survive. He had also told her due to their positions a certain level of secrecy was required. The secretary gave him an appointment time for the next day, it was in the morning and although Nyota had a exam in the afternoon he was sure she would want to get the matter sorted. The secretary ensured him of the professionalism of the doctor and then took his details to send him a form that Nyota would have to fill in before her appointment. Spock closed down the com link and immediately forwarded the form to Nyota with a map of where the doctor's office was and the time of her appointment. Then he settled down to meditate knowing it would take him all of the evening and most of the night to manage the emotions the day had brought.

* * *

May 28th

Spock had expected to hear from Nyota straight after the appointment but as the minutes ticked into hours he realized that she would not. When the time of her exam came around Spock had changed his mind three times about whether to volunteer to invidulate. Though he could check she was alright and silently ask her the results his presence might distract her. Finally he made a pact with himself. He sat beside his Com screen and typed her number, luckily she answered. She had been crying and Spock felt a strange kicking sensation in his stomach at the sight.

"Spock.."

He held his hand out to stop her.

"I realize that you are preparing your mind for the exam. Therefore I am not asking that you tell me the results of your doctors appointment now as the proceeding conversation will distract you from those preparations. But I believe we should have that conversation as soon as possible so as to put plans in motion. I suggest that we have said Conversation after your exam."

She stared through the screen at him. He was pleased to see that Nyota seemed to be in control of her emotions at the present even if there were signs she had not been earlier.

" Nyota, I require an answer."

" Yes, I'll come over then. I have to go." She said quickly.

" Nyota, I wish you success during your exam."

"Thanks Spock."

He shut down the com link and satisfied settled himself down into Nyota's chair to read.

* * *

exactly 4 hours later.

Spock was facing the door as it swished open. Spock stood quickly the PADD cluttering to the floor. He stepped forwards reaching for her.

" Nyota?"

She stared at him looking completely lost and very very young.

" I'm pregnant."

Spock's world suddenly constricted. The whole universe with all the planets he had seen and visited, all the races of the galaxy disappeared. His world, his knowledge, the only thing of any importance was her and the beautiful thing inside her. He dropped to his knees in front of her, blindly reaching out. His hands rested on her stomach wondering at the thing growing in there and how he had never truly appreciated how wondrous reproduction, fertilization and gestation really were. Apparently it was something you couldn't learn from books. His fingers moved against the red fabric. It was not enough he was just not close enough to his child. He carefully pulled the fabric of her top up and pressed his palms against her skin he felt a tingle as if the person growing inside her was trying to communicate with him.

"Wondrous." He muttered.

With slow motions, almost frightened he pressed his ear to her stomach and concentrated trying to pick out a certain sound. His breath hitched as he heard it, not a steady beat but more a little vibration. A heartbeat. The sign of life. And everything changed for the second time in three minutes, the golden bond between him and Nyota seemed to stretch and contrast and then there was a thin tiny silver string going from him to that new life. He looked up at Nyota, his joy overwhelming. He didn't notice there was something wrong until the words had left his lips.

"Nyota, T'hy'la, This is wonderful."

Then the anger hit him. He fell backwards and had to put his arms out to steady himself.

"Nyota?" He asked stunned. He looked

up at her blank emotionless face.

"Do you know what I wanted before I met you Spock?" She said calmly just loud enough for him to hear.

"I wanted to graduate high school a year early. I wanted to be best in my class at the academy three years running, be on board a starship before I'm twenty. Be the youngest head of the linguistics department before I'm twenty-four." Her voice raised a couple of octaves and he noticed her trembling and that there were unshed tears in her eyes.

" I didn't want to meet a guy at sixteen, fall in love at seventeen, get married at eighteen and have a baby at nineteen."

"Life rarely turns out how we plan it. You can still be a head of communications, "

"Shut up Spock!" She shouted throwing her hands up and turning her back on him.

"Nyota..." He didn't know what to say, he couldn't understand her emotions. Couldn't understand how he could be so happy, so ecstatic and full of joy, and she could be... Angry. Angry at him, angry with herself.

" I do not understand." He said.

Her body, so tensed seemed to deflate. She didn't speak.

" Nyota. We will tell the academy. We will have the bond formalized. I will tell Chris that I resign from the enterprise, there is a good possibility that I can continue to work at the academy. There is a crèche, I will give you the papers to defer a year. I will change the meditation room to a nursery."

"I need to think." Nyota said quietly.

" About what? I have just told you the arrangements that need to be made."

"Think Spock, just think. I need time on my own." She turned on her heel and headed towards the door.

"Nyota." He said blocking her path with three quick strides. He rested his hands on her shoulder and stared down at her.

" You are not happy."

"No shit Sherlock."

" My name is Spock, though the comparison is not unpleasing." He said trying to make her smile, it felt as though if he could just make her smile then everything would be alright.

She sighed and looked at him then her hands framed his face she looked straight into his eyes.

" I need time to think about this." She implored him. "I'm going home."

"This is your home."

"Spock, just let me go."

" Will you come back?" Spock asked truly worried.

"Yes." She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him in a gentle reassuring way. " I'll come back." She rested her forehead against his.

"I do love you Spock."

" I am glad for that."

"Let me go."

" To Africa?"

" Yes."

" You will need to keep in contact with a doctor, it is essential..."

" Spock. I can't have this conversation, I'm to tired and I have to go pack."

"Pack?"

" My final exam was today."

"I am aware of that."

"I booked a flight out this evening."

Spock felt a strange sense of lose. He had just discovered this wonderful thing, and she was going to leave and take his child with her.

"That is soon." He breathed feeling a strange tightness in his stomach.

" I need to be away from this place."

Away from me, Spock thought, why were things changing in such a rapid fashion today?

Nyota leaned up and kissed him again and he leaned Into it trying to make it last. She pulled away to soon and turned not looking at him.

"Bye Spock I'll call you." She said heading out the door.

"Nyota I..." The door closed and she was gone.

"Love you."

* * *

Perhaps Nyota's seeming a little out if character but I figured she is very young and very determined and her life's just been turned upside down.


	37. Lack of communication

Disclaimer: I do not own star trek it belongs to paramount, or the poems in this chapter they belong to Lenard Nimoy I just wanted to share them with you.

* * *

Nineteen, so young really. Spock had known that when he had first started to notice Nyota. He had known it when he had first started their relationship but somewhere along the way that knowledge had been lost. However intelligent and mature Nyota seemed she had only just entered into adulthood. Technically so had he, he had only reached sexual maturity three years previous. But he was not the one who would have to deal with his body changing or the labour, the feeding. However much he tried to support her there were certain things he would not be able to do. She thought that she had ruined her life and she blamed him. Hadn't she said before she had met him she had been on the path to being a communications officer? She would have made it. She had all the right traits and that unbending determination. Now, she didn't know what her future was going to hold for her. He understood that feeling, he had experienced some form of it when he had first come to Earth but then he had known he had the abilities to determine his own future.

Spock sat up in his bed with a sigh; he buried his face in his hands. He had never felt so torn. Having spent the afternoon and most of the night considering it he now understood Nyota's point of view. But he did not assign to it, he was happy, there were a thousand logical reasons why he shouldn't be, they had a legal battle coming up to insure that the academy would recognize their relationship and allow him to continue teaching and Nyota to continue studying, but he was happy. Happy and worried in equal measures and he could not seem to resolve or suppress or even drain them off a little. It had been years since his emotions had affected him this badly and he felt himself needing something. If Nyota were with him, if she had not left for summer and if it were not she who was influencing his emotions, if it were any other person he would call Nyota to talk to her about it. But she was gone and even if he did call her he suspected they would end up arguing. He wondered if he should call his parents and talk to them about the situation, who else would understand this situation? His mother was the only Human to have married a Vulcan and had a child with a Vulcan. Who better to understand this lack of communication. Would Nyota tell her parents? For some reason he didn't think so.

* * *

29th May

He almost ignored the ringing of his office com system. All day various departments had been ringing him asking for last minute favors. Although there were only two days of exams left it would be another week before most of the academy could set off on their holidays or their short-term missions. The result was lots of various people trying to offload their responsibilities on him so they could go off early. He had been dodging these request all morning in-between marking exam papers, he had accepted two assignments one to give a guest lecture on a topic he found interesting, the other was more classifications of biological samples. Sealing himself to at least be polite despite his annoyance and slight preoccupation Spock turned the com system on. His heart seemed to skip several beats when he saw Nyota's face filling the screen.

"Nyota."

"Hi Spock."

"Hello."

"I thought I'd call to let you know that I arrived safely at my parent house."

"Thank you for informing me."

They stared across the screens at each other for a moment. Spock felt some awkwardness between them, he felt as if anything he said could anger her. He did not know how to reach passed this barrier between them, why were there always barriers?

" Nyota, I have thought about your response to you finding out about your condition and I now believe that I understand your emotional reaction. I was however at the time preoccupied with my own insuppressible emotional reaction."

She had held her hand up as he had been speaking.

"Spock, I'm glad you're happy. I want you to be happy. Someone should be happy. I guess.. I'm just preoccupied with my own insuppressible emotional reaction."

Spock nodded.

"Do you think you will gain happiness from this situation at a later date? I have often read that woman's emotions are unstable over time."

He saw Nyota stiffen at his words. Her eyes drifted downwards and he knew that she would be twiddling her fingers together in that nervous little way she had.

" I'll.. I'll try."

Spock nodded.

"It is all I can ask. Know that I shall always be receptive to your needs and remain for the majority of the holiday relatively close to a com system."

"Okay."

" You are well?"

"Yes Spock." She sighed and glanced over her shoulder, that one little action told him that she had not informed her parents as of yet. " I have a little morning sickness."

"Did the doctor you saw here give you any remedies for it?"

"No, he was mostly just confirming the stage of the..." She looked down again. "Confirming that I am actually.."

" Why is the word so difficult for you to say?"

''Because it makes me face up to a reality I never thought I'd have to face."

"Never?"

" Well, not.. Not until I'd had a good career, landed a good position. Not for another ten or fifteen years."

" I understand that you feel this is the wrong time, we are both young for our species but Surek teaches us to accept the things we cannot change."

She glanced over her shoulder again as if in response to hearing something.

"Spock I have to go."

" Very well."

He hesitated for a moment then spoke quickly as he saw her hand rise towards the side of the screen to turn it off.

"Nyota, I, You know how I feel for you."

She froze not meeting his eye as she gave a small bittersweet smile.

"I think I do."

The screen went blank and Spock was left to go back to marking his papers and trying not to think about Nyota's words.

* * *

1st June

He flicked open the book of poems Nyota had given him on his birthday. He flicked through the pages, there were certain poems that made him feel closer to Nyota even when absent from her. They had lay together and read these poems to each other and now that shining bond twinkled that little bit brighter when he read them. He found the first of those poems printed plainly in unadorned black ink.

_I have seen_

_the beauty of love_

_in your face_

_I have met_

_the joy of existence_

_in your being_

_I have found_

_the eternity of life_

_in your presence_

_I have touched_

_The fulfillment_

_Of perpetual grace_

_And it is you_

_All of it_

_Is you_

Spock put the book down and sighed, she should be here with him.

* * *

3rd June

Chris looked over the top of his glass at him. Spock ignored him pretending to be listening intently to the music going on in the background. When Chris continued to stare he turned his head to watch the female singer on stage as she sung lyrics about making love in a cornfield.

" You don't seem like yourself tonight Spock." Chris finally said.

"Have we not had this conversation before?"

Chris stared at him for a moment then took a sip of his whiskey.

"Problems with the missus."

"How do you know?"

" Everything that's affected you of late has been to do with your young lady."

Spock barely held back a wince at the words.

"She is young." He said quietly.

Chris looked at him and raised his eyebrows.

"A little I suppose but people grow fast at the academy, it's the experiences and responsibilities. "

"But in other ways?"

"Spock, what is this about?" Chris leveled him with a look that most cadets squirmed under but Spock was not a cadet.

"I desire your opinion. Is Nyota mature enough to cope with all facets of my relationship with her and any possibilities that might arise from our relationship?"

"All couples, no matter what age have their immature arguments from time to time."

" Vulcan's do not."

"You're not both Vulcan's. You had a chance to marry a Vulcan."

"I am aware of that."

"And you said her mind was cold and unwelcoming. You're half Vulcan half human and Nyota's human. You are going to have some fights from time to time."

" I should be able to come up with a logical solution to all our arguments."

" Did your parents always come up with logical solutions to their arguments?"

Spock froze remembering all the times he used to sit in the hallway listening to his mother shouting at his father and his fathers cool logical responses. Eventually his mother would storm out the room and there would be icy silence in the house for days afterwards.

" Do you suggest that I find an illogical solution?" Spock asked wondering if such a thing even existed.

"How about you just tell her that you're here for her and you want to work things out then just sit back and wait for her to be ready to talk. Times a great healer."

" She keeps asking me to give her time."

"Then give her what she needs."

"I would never withhold anything she desires from her, if it is in my abilities to provide it that is."

"Then you have your answer."

"You would usually try and persuade me to drink chocolate laced drinks in these situations."

Chris went a little red.

" Lets not go there."

"Is this because of the Vulcan port incident?"

"Spock. We do not mention the port incident."

"But you do not want me to get drunk because you are afraid I will make sexual advances towards you again. "

Chris stood up.

" End of date bud." He said downing his drink and slamming it on the table.

" Chris." Spock called as he walked away. "Do you want me to give you time?"

" You're a right arse sometimes you know."

* * *

5th June

He knew he was meant to leave Nyota alone but as he had not had a message from her in four days he was starting to feel anxious. He knew that she was not in any danger as despite their distance he could still feel her quite strongly in his mind. But despite this knowledge, he needed to see her face. It took him a moment to recall her house number. A young man he had never seen before answered. His eyes flickered over Spock. The man had hazel eyes that stood out against his dark skin, a strong jaw, his hair was cropped short, his nose very familiar.

" Nyota Star Fleets on the phone."

" You are Peter, Nyota's brother?"

" Yeah. He looked over Spock one more time then his eyes focused on the tips of his ears. " Oh, you're Spock, her friend she's mentioned you from time to time."

" Yes. "

" It's good to put a face to the name." He glanced to the left. " It's Spock."

" Send it to my room." Spock heard Nyota's voice.

" Bye." Peter said with a small smile and the screen went blank for just over a minute.

Nyota looked weary as she opened the link, she gave a small smile and he knew it took her a lot of effort.

" I am sorry that I contacted you I just want to know that you are alright."

"It's okay Spock. It's good too see you. I'm sorry I didn't message you everything's up in the air as my brothers family came for a surprise visit."

Spock slowly nodded.

" How is your brothers family?"

Nyota shifted uncomfortably.

" You are usually happy when you are around your brothers family."

" Akina is teething she cry's all night."

Spock nodded, he knew that she was not only tired from the toddlers crying but that it also was acting as a reminder of her own approaching motherhood.

" Remember how much you love her. How much you enjoyed holding and playing with her. How happy you are when she calls you Neeta. Think about being called mama, Ko-Mekh."

" Spock." She sighed.

"You have found a good fertility doctor there?"

" I've been to see my family doctor."

" Doe he have any experience in mixed genetic fetuses?"

" No. But he has known me since I was a baby. His a good doctor."

" You don't need a good general practitioner Nyota you need a good fertility doctor."

" I'm handling it Spock." Her tone said it was the end of the conversation but he had a few more questions he had to ask to set his mind at ease.

" Is the child well?"

He felt the flash of panic quickly suppressed in Nyota's mind. It shocked him as it was covered up with a strange feeling of wellness that was cracking around the edges.

" Nyota? What are you hiding?"

" I'm not hiding anything Spock."

" You are, I get the sense you are hiding it from yourself as well as me."

" I'm not hiding anything Spock. The doctor said that the tests were a little unusual, but I guess that's to be expected it is a mixed genetic... it is going to have some weird test results."

" Unusual test results. Nyota I think you should come back to get the test redone by Doctor Newman."

" No, Spock, if something goes wrong Ill come back but I have to stay with my family. They won't understand I f I suddenly disappear for a few days in the middle of the holiday."

" When we were in Paris you said you wanted me to visit with your family during the summer months. I will be free to do so from next week."

" Can we leave it a while, perhaps you can come at the end of the break. August perhaps."

" I shall keep some time in August free then." He looked at Nyota sealing her image in his memory for the next few weeks.

" Bye Nyota, my t'yh'la."

" Bye Spock. " She sighed. " I will see you soon." She promised him.

* * *

The slight breeze smelt sweet to him. He closed his eyes and sniffed the air picking out the scent of hay and the very sight smell of raspberries and perfume. He opened his eyes and sat up his hands resting against the soft yet crisp grass. Sitting a few feet away was Nyota, she was wearing a white flowing dress with her loose hair tussled by the wind. She looked peaceful, serene more so than he had seen her in months. As he watched a small contented smile came to her face. Wondering at its cause he looked across the field in the direction she was staring. Seven meters away there were three small figures. Children, two girls, one tall and perhaps nine years of age the other perhaps four or five. They both wore identical white dresses, had milky brown complexions and deep brown eyes they looked almost mirror images of each other. The last child was a boy, brown curls falling over the tops of hiss ears, he had a lighter complexion than the girls and his eyes were an alluring hazel. He was tiny and uneasy on his feet, as Spock watched the children holding hands and turning in circles singing an old Vulcan rhyme he fell over his own feet and landed on the floor giving a short cry. Nyota stood up and started walking over but the two girls were already bent next to him whispering words of comfort. Nyota picked the little boy up and hugged him to her. She stroked his hair and once he had stopped crying stood him back on the floor where he immediately reached his hand out to his sisters to continue their game the song changing now to an old earth version.

"Ring a ring a roses

A pocket full of posies

A tissue a tissue

We all fall down."

Spock saw clouds on the horizon, he tried to call to Nyota to tell her that they had to leave before the storm hit. But she couldn't hear. The wind suddenly blew with harshness and it became cold. He took a couple of steps forwards but found that he was somehow at the same distance from her and the children. He stopped considered this and tried again this time at a run but he still didn't reach them or in fact move at all.

"Nyota!" He shouted in frustration.

He awoke in a sitting position as if moments before had sat bolt upright in panic. He was panting as if he had really been running he regained his breath and then got up. He still felt the panic and the frustration of the dream. He got out if bed, his meditation room had been well used of late.

* * *

7th June

Spock got off the public transport unit outside 's antique bookshop. With the summer break he thought he would catch up on his reading and after working out how long it would take to read everything that he had added to his reading list over the last year and figured out that given six point two hours given over to reading every day he would finish all the books with a week to spare. That meant that he needed more books. He would allow himself three of various lengths. The little bell tinkled as he opened the door to the cool musty smell he secretly loved. was stood on a footstool placing a book on one of the highest shelves he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

" Ah, Mr. Spock. I have a book I thought your Miss Uhura would like to see."

" She has left for Africa."

" Already?" He gave a little frown. " She was going to come say goodbye to me before she left. I guess something came up."

" She did leave earlier than she expected too."

" Oh well. " He gave a little smile. " Perhaps you'll also find some humor in the book."

" I am willing to look at it."

" Good." Mr. San said stepping of the stool.

" Cup of tea?"

" Yes, thank you. I do plan on browsing through the entire contents of the shop today."

nodded and walked out the back door. The shelves were organized in genre and the alphabetical order. The fiction was ordered in centaury as well. Spock decided to start with 20th centaury science fiction. Those that he had read in the past had been fascinating and at time rather accurate.

Mr. San came back out after Spock had already picked out a book by an author called Asimov.

" Here it is." He said holding a book up to Spock.

Spock froze at the picture of the infant on the front. Why did think that Nyota would be interested in old book of childcare? For one a modern one would surly be much more efficient and secondly, despite the evidence that was presenting itself he could not understand why Nyota would choose to confide in the retired literature professor who she had stopped to have tea with on three occasions. Then he noticed the name at the top of the book, Doctor. Spock's Baby and Childcare. Spock felt the corner of his mouth twitch despite himself.

" I did not realize that Spock was also a Terran name."

" It's not a common one."

" May I read some passages?"

Mr. San gave a knowing smile.

" Ill leave it here." He said placing it down on one of the shelves. " Right tea." He said turning back around. Spock turned back to browsing the sci-fi shelves.

" I know it's quite an old one." Mr. San said turning back to Spock. " But that's the book I read when my first daughter was born. it served me and my wife through all of our eight children and thirteen grandchildren and two great grandchildren."

Spock nodded.

" You must be proud to have such a large number of descendants."

"I am. You know." He continued conversationally. " After my third child I always knew when my Yingbo was pregnant before she did. "

Spock didn't respond.

" Women really do glow in the early stages of pregnancy."

" I believe the influx of hormones promotes healthy skin and hair growth. " He picked up another book turning it over in his hands carefully. His eyes unwillingly flickered over to the baby book on the opposite shelf.

" I suppose that as it is your personal copy and has been of great use to you that it is not for sale."

"No . That is a gift for Miss Uhura. I trust you will give it to her."

" I will. Thank you." He said feeling a rush of gratefulness towards the man. He started to understand why Nyota had started visiting here. Mr. San's kindness and wisdom was evident.

As Spock walked around the shop he talked amicably with . They talked of a shared love of botany and Spock listened to talk proudly about his children and offered up a little about his life on Vulcan.

After three hours fifteen minutes and twelve seconds, and two cups of tea Spock had picked out his three books. He paid and had given his communication details and a list of out of print books he might be able to source then he said his goodbyes and left the shop. It wasn't until he left the shop he realized that he had not thought of Nyota in three hours, the longest he had gone without thinking of her in three weeks.

* * *

9th June

Spock slowed his pace as he walked back to his apartment from the biolab. He looked up at the stars as he walked, it was not usual for him to look up as he waked but tonight he felt he needed to. He wanted to feel a deeper connection with his bondmate; they had had such difficulties in communication over the last month. He had thought their communication problems had ended when they had first entered into a relationship. He had thought all problems previous to that had been due to his wanting to avoid entering such a deep relationship so early but of course he had been unable to avoid being drawn into her mind. And Nyota being confused by his avoidance paired with his obvious interest in her. The past month had suggested that their communication difficulties might have run deeper than that. He let his head fall and shook his head to stop his neck from getting stiff then he looked up at the stars again. Nyota saw the stars as intriguing and somewhat mystical they made her think of all the planets and all the possibilities on those planets. He tried to see her point of view, being able to understand how she perceived things more fully then they would communicate more effectively. But to him the stars were simple balls of gas under going nuclear fusion giving out light and heat energy as by products. He felt a slight breeze and quickened his pace to get into the welcome warmth of his heated apartment. He nodded at another lecturer as he passed through the foyer into the lift. He got out at his floor and walked the twenty-six paces to his apartment. He felt a strange tingle as he placed his palm against the door pad. He took a moment to consider that and then deciding he would set some time aside to investigate tomorrow he entered his apartment.

"Commander Spock." The electronic voice welcomed him as he walked in. He froze ready to listen; the computer only came on when he entered if there was a problem with his personal settings for the room or because he had a recorded com message.

"Recorded message." The computer confirmed. " Recorded number: Nyota Uhura Family home. Do you wish to play message now."

"Yes." Spock answered. There was a tightness in his chest he couldn't identify it's cause. As he sat down at his desk, the little screen popping up automatically he probed at that light in the back of his mind. What he found puzzled him. Although still there and still string some component of it seemed missing and it was as although the bond, the multiple strings of beings that twined together into a thick glowing light were starting to fray slightly. It was a worry and he felt the need to go see her and patch up those problems that had started in their marriage.

He had been expecting to see Nyota on the screen so he was a little surprised to see her father. Two seconds later he felt like he had been drenched in cold water. Nyota's father looked scared, truly scared and hardly hiding it.

"Commander Spock, I am sorry to disturb you. My daughter Nyota is seriously ill, I do not know what is wrong with her but yesterday she seemed to be suffering from a stomach ach and then she was short of breath but trying to hide it. " He looked down and swallowed a couple of times as if the words were difficult for him to say. " Then at dinner she gasped in pain, she went. …shaky and sweaty and she fainted. Before we could call the doctor she had come too and she rushed to her room and locked the door. She's done something to the locks so we can't get in. She won't see the doctor, there's no reasoning with her when she answers us she just cries. She's asking for you. Please come, I don't know what to .. Just please come."

* * *

Ko-Mekh: Vulcan for Mother.


	38. Africa

So I've had some questions I guess I should answer maybe some of these are a bit of a stretch I guess I've been concentrating to much on the emotional interplay and overlooked a few thing.

I do think that the baby would have a good chance of being cooper blooded despite being ¾ human. Spock's green blooded and his blood has so few human elements that in Journey to Babel they were able to filter them out .Spock has Vulcan ears, strength senses and telepathy, So I'm making the assumption that Vulcan DNA is always dominant over Human. So the baby would have more than a ¼ Vulcan DNA.

I tried to explain in the last chapter during Spock's dream how he and Nyota somehow managed to get pregnant in the 23rd century. Basically, Nyota is afraid of hypos and didn't get a contraceptive jab and Spock overlooked that fact. Then Spock did have his contraceptive jab but it wasn't fully effective due to his Vulcan heritage.

Another note, I spent an hour making corrections and the uni server went down so have to start all over again. How annoying is it when that happens?

* * *

Just before getting off the public fast speed shuttle he had taken to Africa. Spock checked through his bag. Usually he would not need to double check his own work but today his planning skills and memory wasn't up to par. He moved the change of cloths at the top aside and unzipped his over night bag to check he had remembered his toothbrush. He had raided medical supplies taking a tricorder and a small collection of hypospreys picking those that could be turned into the most diverse range of medicines, those most useful in an emergency and those that would help Nyota in the most likely case. He didn't want to think about what that was he wouldn't be able to focus if he did. He checked the little serial numbers on the sprays and spent some time deliberating over whether he could have brought anything more effective. He just hoped that he would get there in time. After getting the message from Nyota's father he immediately checked the shuttle timetable and paid a good deal of his earnings for a ticket. With an hour before he had to be at the public air and shuttle port just outside the city he ran to the medical supply area bypassed the alarm system thinking he could always explain later he took what he had thought he would need. Returning to his apartment he had sent a quick e-mail to Chris saying he was out of town on an emergency and didn't know when he would be back. Then he had grabbed cloths and personal products from his cupboard not paying much attention to what he was throwing in. He had arrived for the shuttle twenty minutes early and flashed his star fleet I.D. which acted in place of a passport (something that due to his alien appearance he always needed to do when leaving the continent.) Then sat for two hours trying to meditate as the almost empty shuttle passed through the atmosphere and the dove back to earth landing in the same landing strip that he had been to the first time he had met Nyota. He knew that her house was yet another hour by fast land vehicle. He walked through the small airport not seeing anything except the signs that pointed him to the car park where he could hire a car and driver. He found a black hover van, got in and gave the address that he had seen on Nyota's file many times but had never been to. He answered a few questions from the driver not really knowing what he was replying until eventually the man seemed to understand he was not in the mood for conversation. Spock watched the passing landscape, he watched as they passed through a small industrial town and back out into the countryside where they passed a few small farmsteads. After a what for Spock felt like a very long time ( it was strange how time seemed to have slowed down its flow today) they came back into a small town. They drove up through the shopping area and then passed a large park Spock felt exasperated as they seemed to be passing back out of the town, the houses growing a lot less frequent. Then just at the point where Spock was going to ask why they had left the town the address he had given the driver had been in the car stopped, turned once in the air and landed. Spock looked out the window to see a large house set in a square ache field. The house was two stories and painted white with bright yellow shutters painted with little red flowers around the windows. There were little flower beds and rock gardens positioned around the field and a little area set aside for a swing set and a basketball hoop. The house had a wrap around porch and on it was a young woman Spock had never seen before, he did not think she was one of Nyota's relatives as there was no family resemblance. He handed the driver his payment card and then got out.

The young woman immediately stood up and Spock noticed for the first time that there was a cradle of sorts on the bench next to her. She walked towards Spock as he retrieved his bag and payment card.

"Is this the Uhura residence'' He asked her.

''Yes. You are commander Spock?''

" Yes.''

'' Baba! He came." Spock took a few steps forwards before the door to the house swung open and the familiar form of Nyota's father appeared.

"Commander Spock."

"Mr Uhura, may I see Nyota?"

"Yes, yes of course." He waved his arm towards the house. "Thank you for coming."

" Has she opened the door yet?"

He asked as they walked towards the house. The young woman stopped on the porch and leaned over the cradle gently lifting out a infant, Spock judged her to be female and between the ages of eighteen months and two years. Spock froze as he looked at the beautiful child, she was round faced with curly black hair and wide eyes. She was wearing pink dungarees and when Spock stopped next to her she stared at him and reached out towards him with pudgy hands.

"Is this Akina?" Spock asked transfixed with the child.

" Yes." The woman said. " I guess Ny talks about her. " She looked down at the child with a fond smile. "They are really close.. Well they used to be, she doesn't seem to have time for her at the moment."

"I understand she has been distracted of late."

He reached out to the small child. She clamped her little hand around his finger and Spock got t e strangest impressions, they were from a Childs mind security, contentment and seemingly endless curiosity.

_Hello Akina I am Spock._

The child gave a startled gasp and then gave a little laugh.

" Lo Spot."

Her mother starred down at her a little crease of confusion between her brows.

"." Mr. Uhura prompted.

Spock nodded and continued on to follow him through the light airy house. Despite his own emotions he could feel those of others infringing on the centre of his mind. Worry confusion, fear even misguided anger. They were starkly different from the mind of the child and Spock found himself longing for his own infancy when life was undoubtedly simpler.

They did not encounter any other members of Nyota's family as they climbed the stairs. They emerged at a long simple corridor five doors interspersed, family photos lining the walls between them. Spock knew that he had let to much time pass already and he could not spare them a glance but as he had got closer to where Nyota was he became more afraid of what he would find. Despite the urgency of the situation he wished to linger.

stopped at the top of the stairs.

"I won't come. She may not let you in. It's the furthest door on the left."

Spock gave a short nod. He searched the surrounding area and found the familiar edge

of Nyota's mind. He wanted to turn away from the depression he felt there but strengthening his minds walls as much as his state would allow he delved a little deeper.

_Nyota, I am __here. Tell me the codes to your door._

_2478/90/45_ Her beloved voice came into his mind.

There was no lock on the door. He looked around the hallway and saw a little access point two inches above the floor. He knelt and wedged it open. Amongst the wires there was a small number keypad he typed the code Nyota had given him in. The door immediately opened. He froze, his muscles all seemed to tense at once. It was her voice that drew him to action.

" Spock."  
He got up and went to the doorway.

She was curled in on herself her knees brought up towards her and arms wrapped tight around her heart ached at the sight of her so small in the big bed, so fragile.

"Hey." She said weakly.

He walked over and sat at the end of her bed. Now closer he could see little yellow rings around her deep brown corneas, she was pale, her hair fell limply around her face and there was a sheen of sweat covering her skin. He touched his hand lightly to her forehead and she closed her eyes. He could feel a deep tiredness from her, a dull pain and a lack of emotions, like a big black pit inside of her. He gently took her hands and moved them away from her stomach laying his own there instead. He felt nothing, there was no life there.

"Have you bled?" He asked finding his voice come out in whisper.

She bit her lip as she gave a singular nod. He felt a pain coursing through his body. He took a deep breath to steady himself as he walked across the room to where he'd dropped his bag he knelt down and pulled out the change of clothes he had thrown on top out the bag, leaving them where they fell on the floor. He found the medical tricorder and small collection of hypospreys he had brought. He felt his fingers tremble as he turned back to face her a small illogical part of him had hoped that when he had turned back around he would find her curled up asleep beautiful and healthy and content. However he found her lying there, her body shook in a deep tremble and she took several rasping breaths then she went still again. He concentrated on the small machine in his hand. He had to clear his head to remember which of the little graphs pertained to what. He moved the reader across her body with a slow determination. He stared down at the readings in the screen component occasionally twiddling a little dial to show him various organ functions. As the little screen revealed his worst fears he started to feel nauseous he stared at the screen checking the readings a third and forth time, it allowed him to avoid looking at her.

"Spock." She finally said with a strange gulp at the end.

" Copper poisoning. Released from the foetus as parts of it were .." He found himself unable to finish the sentence.

Nyota squeezed her eyes tightly shut. A single tear ran down her cheek.

"It's dead."

His chest felt tight as if he couldn't breath the room blurred for a moment. He blinked his eyes rapidly to clear his head. He felt unusually warm fingers timidly touch his for the briefest of moments then drew away.

"Yes, she's gone." He told her.

That little gold line was gone; it had been so slim that it had snapped without notice. His child, his daughter because he knew that was what the baby was going to be. It was like.. Like his world had disappeared. But she was here, his Nyota was here and he had to help her. He leaned over her and kissed the salty tears that ran down her cheek.

"It's probably for the best." Nyota whispered.

Spock froze, he felt a wall of anger, black and sharp and mountainous rising inside him. She could not mean that, the death of a child could never be for the best. He must be misunderstanding her again. He stood up slowly as if his pain was physical and movement would damage him.

" I must treat you before your kidneys become damaged."

He went to his bag again, checking through the box of hypospreys he had brought with him.

" We're Star Fleet." Nyota said quietly. "I could never let you give up the chance to explore, the chance to examine all those new worlds. You've already been offered a first officer position after so little time on star ship service.. You would be a captain soon and I would just stay here."

He twirled a dial on a hyposprey Making sure it released the right compound then he went over to her. She backed away a little at the sight of the hypo, that illogical fear of hers. He grabbed her shoulder holding her still as he pushed the container to her skin hearing the little hiss as it was pumped into her bloodstream. He released his hold on her seeing the little patches of skin where his fingers had been were already turning dark. Had he really held her with so much force?

He met her eyes and saw something he had not seen in her since Williams, fear.

"Am I really an evil person because I feel a little relieved? " Her Voice cracked and the tears ran more freely down her face."I am hurting Spock..."

He put his hand on her cheek, he didn't want to hear her voice anymore, didn't want to look at her.

"Rest now." He said trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. " You are ill, you are confused."

Her hand reached for his and he almost flinched at the feel of the damp skin clamping around his.

"Will you stay?"

"I shall assure you go to sleep."

" I don't think I can."

" I can give you a sedative."

She didn't answer.

"You need rest Nyota."

She gave a small nod. He fetched the sedative.

"It's a low dose." He said pressing it to her neck.

He ran his fingers through her limp hair as she fell asleep. He felt to weary to move for a while after she had lost consciousness but he knew he had to get up, her family were waiting for him to tell them what was wrong with her. He had no idea what to say to them. Touching his fingers lightly to hers he got up.

Spock heard the voices downstairs stop as he slowly descended the stairs. He knew they had heard him coming and they had deliberately stopped. Spock tried to block his turmoiled mind of from their thoughts but it was difficult. His mind felt like it was being bruised by a storm of anger and sadness and worry, all hitting him at the same time with equal force. He stopped outside the door to the room where he had heard the voices; he tried to set his face knowing that at the moment it was probably showing everything he was feeling.

He pushed the door open taking in the soft comfy living room with large windows and mint green walls with lots of photos of plants and trees. It gave the impression of being a light forest clearing. He wondered if it had always been decorated in that fashion as Nyota had been growing up? As a child had she played in this room?

Five pairs of eyes turned to him and pudgy arms reached out.

" Spot." She Akina said with a giggle.

Spock looked at the child, she looked like her mother, except she already had shoulder length curls and her mother had tightly cropped hair and she had those strangely light eyes that her father had. He nodded at Peter seeing that in person he was taller than both his parents. Information seemed to be filtering slowly into his mind in strange little drabs that made little sense.

" Mr. Spock." Mrs. Uhura said, she was wearing one of those long flora dresses and looked as tired as everybody else in the room. "What's going on with my daughter?"

Spock felt that tension creeping up his limbs again.

"Nyota is ill." He said trying to buy himself a little time to think about how best to present his answers. He didn't know what to do the logical thing would be to tell Nyota's family exactly what was going on but judging by Nyotaís behaviour she did not want them to know. He did not want to betray her trust, when she awoke again he would try persuading her into being honest. She was not in her right mind. She needed her parents and siblings to support her.

"I know she's ill but why is she acting in the way she is? Why won't she talk to us? Why won't she see the doctor?"

"You will have to ask her when she wakes up."

" You can tell us." She snapped.

"I realize you are worried, Nyota has been under a lot of stress lately and has been questioning her life choices. I believe it is passing. And she will have to see a doctor I have started treating her but there may be complications. "

"Mr. Spock, I think you are avoiding the question, what's the illness.?"

"Is it digestive?" Peter asked. "Like a bad infection or something?"

"The cause of the illness was not Terran."

" Are you saying she picked something up off planet? Shouldn't she had been given vaccines for them." Her mother asked.

" Not off planet, on earth but through contact with a none terran. There are preventive medicines but she did not take them. " He shook his head feeling as if he was losing control of the situation. "I am going outside for... for air." He said . He left them without any more words.

He walked from the house, heading away around the edge instead of towards the road. At the back of the house he saw a large tree whose leaves stretched out in a canopy offering protection from the blaring sun. Spock sat down on the crisp dry grass resting his back against the tree trunk. He sat enjoying the quietness and the freedom from the minds of others for ten minutes before the rustling of grass alerted him to the presence of somebody approaching. He reluctantly glanced up to see Mr. Uhura carrying a cup and plate. He had suspected that this was coming, Mr. Uhura had kept quiet in the house but Spock knew the adoration he had for his youngest daughter. Knew the closeness and understanding they had with each other. It was logical he would eventually seek Spock out to question him.

"Mr. Spock?"

" Just Spock."

"Spock, you must be hungry. It's a long journey. I was surprised you got here so quickly."

" I took a shuttle."

"Yeah, that would do it."

Mr. Uhura set the cup and plate down on the grass then settled next to Spock. There was a silence, but Spock was to emotionally weary to feel uncomfortable by it.

"You love my daughter."

Spock looked down at his hands, he was angry with Nyota. But that did not mean he did not love her. He imagined her fingers twinning with his in that wonderful affectionate gesture that sent tingling down his spine.

"Yes sir."

"I'm grateful you came. I'm grateful you're trying to make her better."

"Do not thank me sir." Spock said, the warm word burning and shaming him.

He felt Mr. Uhura shift next to him.

" Do you think I don't know that your making love to my daughter?" Spock turned to him, familiar warm eyes were looking back. Mr. Uhura gave a small bittersweet smile and looked down as if an unanswered question had been answered.

" I knew after that man had attacked her, I saw the way you two looked at each other. I knew it was only time."

Spock considered the words, the calmness in them, the acceptance despite their positions.

"Will you report me?"

"You've saved my daughters life twice."

Spock felt that sudden pain under his ribs again and his eyes blurred.

"Both times I indirectly put her in danger."

"How did you put her in danger this time?"

"I cannot say."

Mr. Uhura nodded.

"You shouldn't blame yourself." He said placing his hand on Spock's shoulder.

"I think you're good for her. I think you'll protect her and treasure her."

"I do treasure her."

Mr. Uhura took a deep breath.

"No father is ever happy to see his little girl grow up and find somebody. To know that they're no longer the most important man in their life. But if it has to be somebody, I'm glad it's somebody like you Spock."

" I am undeserving."

Mr. Uhura stood up to leave.

"I'll just leave you to eat and recover from your journey then."

"Thank you."

Spock looked down at the food as Nyota's father walked away. He was unsure whether he would be able to stomach it. He picked up the cup that had been left from him and sniffed it experimentally. Chamomile tea, he drunk it thankfully the familiarity bringing some small measure of comfort. As he drank his vision blurred again and blinking he felt wetness on his cheek. Confused Spock reached his hand up and touched the small trail of moisture. He stared at his hand and the small drop of water nestled on his fingertip.

* * *

Well, there it is the make or break chapter, the one that kept nagging at the back of my mind demanding me to write it, it was going to be a lot longer but again I decided to cut it off here so there wouldn't be too many emotions in one chapter. The next few chapters will be a little depressing. Reviews always welcome even if only a few words.


	39. Fractured

Fractured.

Time seemed to move very slowly for Spock yet not at all. The single tear he had shed seemed to have been a turning point in his emotions. When before he had felt battered and bruised as if being tormented in the violent storms of Dante's second circle, now it was as if his body and part of his mind were being brutally battered but another part of him was looking down at it in abstract. A part completely devoid of emotions and as darkly empty as the void he had felt in Nyota. This was not like the usual balance he felt, that knowledge of emotions but being able to act logically and apart from them. That was a comfortable feeling. This one he felt he should worry about but it seemed he did not have the energy for concern. He also seemed to notice that along with the absence of emotions there was an absence of logic; all that existed was emptiness and the occasional slow to form observation about how strange a feeling it was and how unique it was in his life time. He wondered if he was in shock or had entered into a deep depression but even these ponderings did not draw either logical assessment or emotional reaction.

Four hours and nineteen minutes exactly after Nyota had fallen asleep he started to become aware of her awakening. With it, like a slow tide rising he began to be reconnected with is body. Far from being relieved at the end of his disassociation he sharply felt the return of pain and anger. He did not stir but allowed himself to become aware of the sun setting over the horizon and the slight warm breeze that was coming from the west. When he heard the opening of a door his head turned towards the house. He knew before the figure appeared in the doorway that Mr. Uhura was coming to tell him that Nyota was awake. He felt a slight ache in his muscles as he stood to met him.

" Hey Spock." Mr. Uhura seemed to hesitate. Maybe he found it strange that Spock had been sat outside for the last five hours without once moving from his position.

" I was meditating." Spock said finding the lie surprisingly easy.

" Oh, I thought maybe you were avoiding my wife and son."

" Why would I wish to avoid members of Nyota's family?"

" Because they're annoyed at you because they think you're keeping information from them."

" I am keeping information from them."

" Because Nyota asked you to?"

" Not asked, I inferred from her behaviour it was what she wished. It is admittedly an illogical decision on her part but it is her decision to make."

Mr. Uhura seemed to consider that.

" I can't say I'm not concerned, Ny has always been very honest with me. I have to wonder what's so bad that she feels she can't come to me with it. " He looked up at Spock. " But she trusts you with it. Though disappointed she can't come to me I'm glad she doesn't have to go through this alone."

" She did not tell me at first. I believe vocalizing it solidifies it for her."

" I've never known there to be a problem Ny couldn't face head on."

" Neither have I."

" All these years she's been the strong one of the family; she's always been the last to cry the last one to lose her temper. Perhaps I have expected too much from her, perhaps being strong all the time draws on some kind of energy reserves that have finally run out."

" I do not follow your reasoning." Spock confessed.

" I think she needs a holiday from being strong."

" I still do not follow you. You came to tell me that Nyota has awoken and you wish for me to see her." Spock said finding he did not wish to discuss Nyota's reasons for acting in the way she had. What shocked him to discover was that he didn't wish Mr. Uhura to stir any sympathy for Nyota in him, the things she had said were incomprehensible to him and yet he understood the meaning that were assigned to those words, the meaning of the combinations of them.  
Mr. Uhura nodded.

" Yes I was."

" I shall come."

Spock started towards the house Mr. Uhura keeping pace a few steps behind hiim. It felt like a battle to climb the stairs to Nyota's room, Spock found the physical act of walking up them hard as if the planets gravity had suddenly increased three fold though he knew of no actual phenomenon that would cause that. As he walked the short hallway his eyes flickered over the photos now taking in more than he previously had, they were all of the same theme, the three Uhura children playing happily. His steps faltered as he saw one with Nyota as a child of perhaps nine, in a swimming pool laughing as she splashed water at her teenage brother.

_"Did you ever play in the pool when you were a child?"_

_" Pools are for exercising."_

_" Me and my brother and sister always used to play in the town pool."_

_" What games do you play in pools?"_

_" Not games, not exactly, just mucking about."_

_She slide back into he water and waded a few feet away from him, she lazily swung her arms around in the water._

" Mr. Spock, are you alright?"

Spock mentally shook himself and moved away from the concerned hand that had touched his shoulder.

" I was just remembering a conversation I had with your daughter. " He glanced back at the photo. " It seems so long ago now."

Mr Uhura nodded in understanding. Spock walked two more steps and pushed his hand against the door pad of Nyota's room, this time it responded to him immediately.

Nyota's body had relaxed as she had slept and she was no longer curled in on herself but lying straight on her side. She raised herself slightly on one elbow as they entered. Though she looked better for her rest but Spock still found himself freezing at the sight of her. He was not certain how to act. He felt some slight relief as walked passed him to sit at the edge of Nyota's bed where Spock had sat before.

"Hey Ny." He whispered. She looked up at her father as he tenderly brushed the hair from her face.

"How are you feeling?"

The tears were already starting to run down her face.

" You've had us worried baby."

" I'm sorry Baba." She said weakly.

"Nyota, you need to tell your father." Spock said.

She looked at him shaking her head slightly.

_**Nyota, it is time to face up to the reality of the situation. You need to see a doctor, you need to be watched over to be sure you recover properly. It would be easier if your parents knew what was going on.**_

_**They will never see me in the same way again. I'm their little girl. **_

_**You will always be their daughter whether they approve of your life choices or not. **_

_**I know, I guess, I just , I don't want them to be disappointed in me. When I graduated high school a year early and with an offer from the academy they were so proud. It's like, the baby, loosing the baby, I'm not, I'm not who I was.**_

Spock saw Mr. Uhura look between them, Spock knew that they were staring intently at each other and it must seem strange to somebody who didn't know that they could communicate telepathically.

_**You are yourself. People change everyday and I don't doubt that this experience, the way you have handled it will have made some large or small changes in you. **_

_**I feel your anger.**_

Distracted Spock tried to block his emotions from her a little more efficiently. He could not show her his anger, he could feel her bodies weakness almost as if it were his own and however bad he felt he could not add to her discomfort.

_**I am angry.**_

_**With me?  
****Yes.**_

_**Don't hate me.**_

He looked down at the floor unable to answer her. Did he hate her? He knew he loved her, he knew he was angry with her. Whatever it was he hoped it would pass. He wanted her, wanted his life with her to return to normal. If they could not make a family then he wanted things to be exactly as they were before this. But he knew time did not travel backwards, only forwards. But he felt uncomfortable having her in his mind. He did not feel the usual things when he looked at her or touched her and at times he couldn't meet her eyes. She had let their child die, not on purpose but she did not take every possible measure to prevent it. And she was.. relieved, that word, he was in pain and she was relieved. Part of his mind tried to fight that thought, he could feel her pain, knew she suffered and was depressed but he did not believe it was due to the loss of their child, only the lose of esteem she foresaw in others.

_**You need to tell your father. I need to ..to meditate, a deep meditation. I am losing control of ..of the emotions, I am, I am..**_

**_Your hands are shaking_.** The words were mixed with fragments of concern for him.

Spock folded his arms behind his back and took another step away from her mind.

_**I'm scared. **_She thought.

_**It will be okay. I am here. **_

"Baba, I had a miscarriage." She said quickly, like pulling off a bandaid.

Spock saw Nyota's father stiffen. Felt the mood in the room change.

"Not intentionally.." He answered his voice showing his shock. Spock knew he was talking about the pregnancy being intentional not the miscarriage. Unplanned pregnancies were rare in a society where year long contraceptive jabs were given by doctors at yearly check ups.

"No Baba, I didn't have the jab. "

His eyes flickered over to Spock.

"It is not fully effective on Vulcan's." Spock explained.

"I'm sorry Baba." Nyota said sobs starting to rake her entire body.

"No shush." He said stroking his hand down her back. He pulled her up and hugged her. "It'll be alright."

"Are you angry Baba?"

"No, not at you."

Spock felt strangely uneasy at that remark. He knew the man was shocked and angry and upset and he knew that those emotions, like his and like Nyota's would have to find a way out at some point.

" Why didn't you tell us Ny? We would have helped you." His voice remained gentle.

"I was scared Baba and I didn't know what I was doing. I was confused."

He kissed the top of his head.

"It's going to be okay. We're going to get you a doctor."

"I've been so stupid." She cried hiding her face in her hands.

"Everybody makes mistakes Darling. "

"I love you Baba."

"I love you to Ny. I will always love you, your mama too."

He kissed the top of her head again.

"You just rest, I'm going to go call the doctor."

He stood up and his eyes focused on Spock.

" Spock, come with me." His voice was stern.

" Baba?" Nyota called worriedly.

" Spock needs to explain to the doctor what medicines his given you darling."

"It is okay Nyota, just rest."

She reached her hand out to him and he took a few steps forwards to press his fingers to hers. He noted that he felt no reaction, no tingling no rush of excitement or joy. He turned and followed Mr. Uhura out the room.

They walked down the stairs feeling that now familiar tension in his limbs. He saw that similar tension in the set of Mr .Uhura's shoulders. He was a little surprised when Mr. Uhura opened the front door and stared pointedly at Spock.

"Isn't the com system in the living room?"

"Outside." He replied firmly.

Spock gave a short nod. He walked out hands folded behind his back.

"I take it that you wish to talk.."

There was a flash of movement and before he could move a fist had connected with his jaw. There was only a dull pain but it took Spock by surprise. He reached his hand up and wiped at his bottom lip seeing a little smear of green. He regarded Mr. Uhura , apparently he had changed his mind and no longer considered Spock a suitable partner for his daughter. That anger he had been feeling was boiling up inside him, he had to take two deep breaths to stop him from retaliating. He was not the only one who was angry and he was a Vulcan, he should know how to manage his emotions better. He had to be the logical one in the situation otherwise it would get out of hand.

"Nineteen! Nobody gets pregnant at nineteen it's not the twenty-first century! You're meant to be her teacher, you're god knows how much older.." Mr Uhura shouted.

"Six earth years." Spock answered immediately. He raised his hand in time to stop the next punch that Nyota's father tried to throw.

"Cease this I do not wish to hurt you." He said barely able to stop himself from reacting.

"You should have been more responsible. My daughter could have died because of this. Do you know what it is like to fear losing a child?"

Spock's emotional walls broke.

" I have just lost a child." He said taking a step towards the smaller man, towering over him. " And although I did not meet her I did feel some love towards her."

Mr. Uhura stared at him, some of the anger seemed to drain from him and he sat on the floor panting. Spock watched as his head dropped into his hand.

" I thought you were good for her."

" I cannot say what Nyota would be like if I wasn't in her life."

" She wouldn't have got pregnant would she? "

Spock looked down at the floor.

" I want you to leave. If I could stop you from seeing her again I would."

" Your daughter and I could not be easily separated we are bonded."

Mr. Uhura looked up at him.

" What?"

" We share a constant telepathic link that is not easily dissolved, nor would I wish it to be. "

"You put yourself in my daughters head? That's what that was?" The anger was back.

" She opened herself to me. She responded positively to it. It was not entirely my doing."

Mr. Uhura stood up.

"I want you to leave my house now!"

"She is my partner."

"She's my daughter, you're in my house and I'm telling you to leave before I lose my temper again."

' "I will say my goodbyes to Nyota first."

"No. You're leaving."

" It would upset Nyota if I left without saying goodbye to her."

Mr. Uhura seemed to fight with the anger he felt and the concern and love for his daughter, he clenched and unclenched his fists a few times then sighed.

"Stay here. I'm going to go talk to her."

Spock nodded. As Mr. Uhura went indoors Spock sat down on the bench on the porch. He sat straight-backed starring out towards where the streets and house of the town started. He had never felt so tired in his life, never so world weary and troubled. As he tried to fight the emotions raging through him they were trying to fight their way to the surface of his mind. Grief for the child he would never meet. Confusion and fear about what was happening in his relationship. Anger at Mr. Uhura for rescinding his welcome and keeping him from his wife and stronger, anger to Nyota for not seeing a doctor when the first strange results came.

He raised his head when he heard footsteps coming out the house. He was hoping he would see Mr. Uhura again so that he could say his goodbyes to Nyota and retire to a hotel till tempers cleared and he could meditate and rest. Instead he saw Peter's wife carrying the baby.

" Mr. Spock?"

" Yes, I apologize I do not know your name."

" Faraja. I heard you and Hishima arguing."

Spock didn't answer.

" Spot." Akina said reaching out to him. Spock looked down at the child.

" She is lovely." He said honestly.

She smiled down at the child.

" I heard that you and Nyota.. talk telepathically?"

" Yes. It is normal in my race for those who are in close relationships to talk telepathically."

" You must be really close if you can see each other thoughts."

" We are close." Spock answered.

" Spot!" The child said with more of a demanding tone.

" Shush Kina."

" What does the child want?" Spock asked.

" Oh." Faraja blushed slightly. " She seems to have taken a liking to you, she wants to sit on your lap."

Spock regarded the child; he imagined that his own might have looked somewhat like her, paler and with some Vulcan features but the same wide eyes and pudgy hands.

" May I hold her?"

Farnia loosened her grip around the child's middle. Akina stood up on the bench and took a few tottering steps towards him then lost her balance and fell onto her hands she crawled on her hands and knees for another step and then stood up again when he reached him again. She reached out touching his cheek with her little fingers.

" Hunzi." She said sadly. Then her pudgy arms wrapped around his neck and her head nestled against his neck. Spock hesitated, she was so small and fragile. He carefully placed his hand on her back gently returning the hug.

" Lovely." He muttered again. He felt like he was about to break, like he was as fragile as the child. He pulled away.

" She is precious." He said. He had lost something precious.

" Yes. She is." She looked directly at him for a moment as if trying to decide whether to ask what she wanted to know. " I have never seen Hishima so angry before. I don't understand why he would be so angry at the two of you having a telepathic link, he tends to be quite open about .. well aliens and non-human abilities, and even mixed relationships. "

Spock knew from that sentence hat she had not heard the entirety of his argument with Nyota's father.

" I believe he has been scared for Nyota's health and has, I believe the phrase is 'crack under pressure'."

Faraja nodded. Akina who was regarding him with a serious expression and a little pout to her lips reached for his ears. Spock took her little hand and shook his head.

" No Akina."

" We use Swahili at home so her understanding of standard is a little limited."

" It is understandable."

" Spot Masikio!" She reached for his ear again. Spock shock his head.

" No Akina." He said again.

" Perhaps she'll become a linguistic expert like her aunt." Farnia said.

" It is a possibility."

" Mr Spock." Spock turned to see Hishima Uhura stood looking down at him stiff lipped, he glanced from Spock to his granddaughter who had chosen that minute to almost fall over and grabbed onto his arm. It was obvious from his expression that he did not like Spock having contact with the toddler.

" You can go say goodbye to Nyota now."

" Thank you." He nodded to him. Although uncomfortable he did not want to leave Nyota's house in this way.

" Mr. Uhura, I hope that given time you will forgive my mistakes."

Mr. Uhura looked away from him.

" Yeah, we'll see." He muttered. He turned to Faraja.

Spock nodded his farewell to Faraja and Hishima then gently took Akina's hand again.

" Goodbye Akina."

The child frowned at him

"Kwaheri_" _She said sadly.

Spock heard Hishima speaking as he walked up the stairs.

"Ita daktari"

He sent a probing thought out to Nyota when he reached he door.

"Come in Kipenzi"

He walked in. He was glad to see Nyota sat up in bed, it diminished his concern for her. But with the diminishing with one came the rising of another.

" How do you feel?"

She gave a weak little smile.

" Tired, shaky…" She sighed. " Drained."

" There is no pain?"

" It comes and goes."

Spock nodded.

" Baba said you're leaving.."

" We have argued."

" I thought so. He seemed very tense."

" Yes."

" I'm sorry Spock."

' You cannot determine your fathers actions."

" He's protective."

" Nyota, I do not wish to discuss your fathers reactions. I came to say goodbye before I take my leave."

She stretched her hand out towards him.

" Spock, I don't want you to leave."

" I shall keep in contact and return when your father allows me to do so."

She nodded.

" I guess there's no other choice."

" It is his house and he does not seem open to changing his decision at this time."

He noticed her eyes fill with tears but she blinked them back. He walked over to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Goodbye Nyota."

" Bye Kipenzi."

Spock turned to leave.

" Spock!" Nyota called to him hesitantly. He stopped.

" Say you love me, just this once." She asked her voice weak.

Spock stiffened, he felt his heartbeat increase felt that tightness around his chest that stopped him from drawing breath. He watched a tiny spider work it's way across the wood floor. Pausing and feeling with it's legs around the small gap between two boards. He felt his fingers twitch on their own and his eyes flickered to them remembering the feel of Akina's warm little hand grasping them.

" This could have been avoided." He muttered. He walked out the room hearing Nyota desperately calling to him as he left down the hallway and out of the house where into the mild African night.

* * *

Swahili translations.

Baba- dad.

Kipenzi- lover/darling.

Hunzi_ sad ( I am hoping that's the right translation. )

Masikio- Ears

"_Ita daktari"- Fetch a doctor _

_Kwaheri – Good bye _

_So there we have it, not sure if I quite pulled this one off, didn't help my electronic writing pad decided to go the way of my laptop and bit the dust. As I'm now only able to use university computers it's going to be difficult to keep updating on a regular basis but I will try my best. _


	40. I'll miss you in a heartbeat

Disclaimer: I don't own star trek, that belongs to paramount nor do I own the song Miss you in a heartbeat, that belongs to Def Leppard (Great song check it out on youtube), and I do not own the poem in this chapter that belongs to Lenard Nimoy ( A lifetime of love.) I'm not making a profit out of either.

Wow, people really do not like Nyota at the moment. I was aiming for people to feel a little angry at her and then forgive her in a few chapters ( when her frame of mind is revealed, the problems with writing from Spock's P.O.V you never truly know what Nyota is thinking) then she gets her strength back and turns into the slightly sarcastic, not always sweet, ass kicker that she is when dealing with Kirk ( and to a far lesser degree Spock) in the movie. But now people are hating her so much that's going to be a difficult feat ( Part of me just wants to have Spock hook up with Chris on the rebound, wouldn't that be a surprise ending?) But despite hating the secondary character people are still reading so I'll at least have a chance to repair Spock and Nyota's relationship and show how they manage to over come all this and grow together as a couple.

So, onto the last stretch, there was meant to be another four chapters and three epilogues. But it looks like there will be at least another six chapters to come, thank you to every body reading this whose waiting for the resolution you are indeed a very patient audience.

* * *

Chapter 40 Miss you in a heartbeat

I believe, that there's something deep inside  
That shouldn't be from time to time.  
I sure found out, you thought love was such a crime.  
The more you care, the more you fall.

No need to worry, no need to turn away  
'Cause it don't matter, anyway, baby

Chorus:  
Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat.  
Oooh, I miss you right away.  
Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat.  
'cause it ain't love, if it don't feel that way.  
Oh, no.

When we touch, I just lose my self control,  
a sense sensations I can't hide.  
To love is easy, it ain't easy to walk away.  
I keep the faith and there's a reason why.  
Yeah.  
No need to worry, no need to turn away  
'Cause it don't matter, anyway, baby

Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat.  
Oooh, I miss you right away.  
Oooh, I miss you in a heartbeat.  
'cause it ain't love, if it don't feel that way.

Now, I ain't big on promises, I'll be true to you.  
I'll do 'bout anything, yeah,  
for some one like, baby for you.

(Oooh)  
I miss you in a heartbeat.  
(Oooh)  
Yeah, I'd miss you right away.  
(Oooh)  
Oh, miss you in a heartbeat.  
(I miss you in a heartbeat.)  
'Cause it ain't love if it don't feel that way.

* * *

As Spock sat on the civilian transport aircraft on the way back to San Fransisco he considered the turns his life had taken within the last few weeks. The happiness at the thought of gaining a family the confusion at Nyota's lack of response then the emptiness, the depression. It could have been avoided. Perhaps, if she had seen a specialist doctor, detected what was happening sooner it could have been avoided. There were no certainties but there were possibilities and seeking help, seeking assurances would have been the most logical thing to do. A life had been involved, a delicate life that had needed protecting, why hadn't she done everything possible to protect it? He was angry, so angry, the walls were barely keeping it at bay but he didn't know what would occur if that anger were released. Part of him worried he might succumb to some kind of insanity, violent urges or perhaps a quiet depression. He didn't want to hate Nyota, he knew without a doubt that no matter what she said she would not have wished for this outcome, it had not been a deliberate act but an act of omission. By doing nothing she had allowed their child to die. The anger was going to swallow him up and as he sat there he allowed himself a little hate. He hated her; he did not want to see her. He did not want to be connected to her.

He felt the strange sensation of a fireless burning in his mind, feeling deeply tired he shut his eyes and drifted into an uneasy rest. He awoke with the familiar lurching in his stomach as the plane made its gentle landing. In the first confused seconds of awakening he felt panicked, something was wrong, something was missing but as he glanced around the aircraft he saw the other passengers were unconcerned. They were moving to disembark as if nothing was wrong at first he thought that they had not noticed but then as he became more aware of himself he realized that it was something within him that was missing. Where there was once a strong, shimmering bond emanating love and support and 'Nyotaness' there was now only blackness. A black wall, or perhaps a hole, it did not matter all that mattered was it was gone. He and Nyota were completely severed. He gripped his side in sudden pain; it felt as if his heart had stopped beating even though he could hear it's steady beat. There was nothing but unbearable pain, no anger, no sadness just pain, aching stabbing, burning all at once. He was aware of eyes staring at him as he gasped for breath. He heard a voice asking if he was all right, silently he nodded and fought the pain away till he was just able to concentrate enough to grab his bag from the overhead and walk upright to the exit.

* * *

Spock seemed to be on autopilot as he got out the land vehicle at the academy he paid the driver and took his bag and looked around. He was back at his house but he had never felt so lost. His legs felt heavy as he walked back to the apartment, it was late morning in San Francisco and he had been gone for less than twenty-four hours it had been a long day but his Vulcan physiology usually allowed him four days on his feet before tiring. The academy grounds were largely empty as he made his way through the grounds till he got to the staff block. He walked into the foyer and knowing that there was people in the foyer talking he walked right pasted them and into the elevator without lifting his gaze from the floor.

As the door to the lift closed a hand reached out stopping them. Surprised Spock looked up to see the door swishing back open and Chris stood casually on the other side.

" I thought I saw you sneaking past." He said cheerfully. " Is it safe to come in?"

Spock inclined his head slightly. Chris walked in, keeping as much difference between him and Spock as the small space allowed. Spock felt his eyes travel over him as he stood there.

" Spock? Is there something wrong?"

Spock considered the question and decided it was best not to answer, he did not think he could discuss this now, all he wanted was to sink into the deepest meditation he could manage and if he could not manage it then to sink into his bed and hope for sleep to relieve him of his torment. The lift stopped and the door opened on Chris's floor. Not looking at his friend Spock inclined his head in a farewell. He felt a slight confusion as the straps of his bag tugged against his shoulder. He looked up to find piercing blue eyes close to his own. He frowned slightly and loosened his grip on the bag letting Chris take it. Chris heaved the bag over his shoulder and stepped out the lift, he got five steps before turning to look at Spock.

" Come on."

" I do not understand."

" You're coming to mine for a drink."

" I do not want company."

" That's precisely why you're getting it."

" That is illogical."

" Just follow me."

To tired to argue Spock complied.

He followed Chris into his apartment and sat down on his sofa when prompted. Chris set his bag down by the door and headed straight to the kitchen without another word. Spock eyed his bag weighing up the pluses and minuses of as the Humans say 'making a run for it', he was sure he could lock Chris out quite effectively the Captain had never been the best with computers but it was not really a dignified option and it was just delaying the inevitable. Eventually he would have to face his future Captain. Chris came back in and handed him a glass of what Spock presumed was Whiskey. He gulped it down in one so that he would not have to deal with the taste of it in his mouth for too long.

" That bad hua?"

" I have told you on multiple occasions that due to my digestive system it would take vast amounts of alcohol to have an effect on me."

" I just happen to have access to vast amounts of alcohol."

" Chris. I am tired.."

" You're tired?" Chris said his voice conveying slight shock. " I don't think I've ever heard you say that before. He sat in the seat opposite Spock and resting his elbows on his knees leaned in closer to him.

" You've been somewhere. Want to tell me where?"

" No."

" I'm not going to accept that answer."

Spock looked down at the empty glass in his hand. He knew from previous experience that Chris could spend days questioning him and hounding him with phone calls to get him to 'open up' when he was being bothered by emotions. He always put it down to Chris's need to 'fix' things, he had a knack of noticing when things (especially people) were in someway broken and he always had to fix them. Spock briefly considered if that was all that their friendship was based upon, the fact that Spock, neither Human or Vulcan a rough composite of parts that never fully worked always seemed broken to him.

" I have been to Africa."

" Africa, lovely, visiting the in-laws?"

Spock watched his hand start to tremble, the first sign of physically losing control. He stood up but he didn't know where to go from there, part of him didn't want to leave but he didn't want to sit. He heard Chris move, the next moment he felt a hand resting on his shoulder.

" Spock…You're trembling."

" They are gone. They are both gone." Spock said the words escaping before he could stop them.

" They are gone, she is gone, the bond is gone."

Chris pulled him round to face him.

" Spock, Spock what are you talking about?"

" The baby too."

The room seemed to move around him of his own accord. He felt his knees contact the floor. He felt something around him and clinged to it, it was strangely comforting. He buried his head in the fabric that was in front of his face finding it soft and smelling of the familiar detergent used by the academy.

" Nyota, she was pregnant.."

" God son how do you get somebody pregnant in this day and age?"

Spock's fingers clinged at the fabric, he felt hands running up and down his back as his mother had done when he was a child.

" They're both gone."

Chris was silent and after a few minutes Spock found himself becoming aware again. He felt a growing embarrassment and pulled away from the comforting body. Chris was looking at him with true concern; he stayed kneeling beside Spock allowing him his silence for another long moment. Spock grasped at the remaining tattered edges of his control and found himself able to stand long enough to return to his chair.

" Nyota had a Miscarriage." Chris stated.

Spock slowly nodded.

" Is she alright ?"

" She.. she.. medically." Spock fought for words. Chris stepped forwards and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, kneeling to look in his eyes.

" Spock, she'll be okay."

" Yes she will be." Spock answered. He wondered if time he would gain some comfort from the knowledge that she was going to be alright, that she would perhaps correct the path she was on. She could have all the thing's she wanted now that he was not her bondmate anymore. He loved her, he wanted her to have the thing's that she long for and had worked so hard for.

" You said that the bond is gone."

" It is gone."

" Spock, I can't say that I'm an expert on Vulcan relationships but surely these thing's can't be easily undone."

" No, but it has been, it has been severed. She is no longer my life partner."

Chris took a deep breath.

" I'm going to change the bed sheets, you shouldn't be alone tonight."

" I do not need a minder."

" No, you need a friend."

* * *

Spock had spent two days trying to return to his experiments in the science lab but he had found himself unable to concentrate. He had made a few slight mistakes, but however slight it was unforgivable. It was after he had mislabelled a plant from Omega six as being from Omega seven he knew he was not capable of functioning correctly and if he was to return to his teaching duties in a month then he must mend his mind. As he could not meditate he contacted a healer on Vulcan who (knowing his family connections) said she would make herself available to him as soon as he was able to reach the planet. Transportation from Earth to Vulcan was easy to organize, as there was a group of star fleet personal leaving in three days.

He spent the remaining three days trying to organize all his materials for the next year, as he didn't know how much time he would have when he got back. As he checked his messages he saw a note from the head of department, upon opening it he found it was the initial form for third year emergency assignments. If an emergency occurred in the next year where the fleet needed more personnel the third years would go into immediate service. Though just a formality the chances that upon graduating the third years would be assigned to the same ship that they would have been for emergency assignment were 83% and so did warrant some attention. He worked his way steadily down the list of linguistic students at times pulling up their files to check if they had any particular strengths that would be of use to a particular ship, he froze when he reached a certain name.

Uhura, Nyota.

He hesitated, he knew she wanted to be placed upon the Enterprise but he would be in charge of all the personnel on the Enterprise, would his feelings for her and they're history together affect his duties. He knew it was the logical thing to do but he still felt a twinge of guilt when he assigned her to the Farragut.

* * *

He had been dropped off in his home province thirty miles from his family home. The familiar heat and forms of distant mountains made him long for the days of his childhood. Given any opportunity he used to go against his parents wishes and creep out in the middle of the night to wander in the desert going as far as the wilderness surrounding the mountains, gaining the fluid and nutrients needed for survival from the plant roots. Those times, alone in the wilderness had been the only time he had felt at home, at one with Vulcan.

He rested the case containing provisions and the small amount of belongings he had brought with him on the desert floor and judging its strength used it as a seat. He had changed into his robes onboard the small shuttle and the lose lightweight yet thick fabrics felt strange against his skin after the confining Star Fleet uniform and Terran clothing.

It was only a matter of minutes before a figure appeared on the heat-hazed horizon. He stood and approached her seeing as he got closer the traditional turquoise robes of a mind healer, delicate facial features, long dark hair and long agile fingers.

_" You are T'Pal."  
_

_" Yes, and you are Spohkh."  
_

Spock inclined his head slightly.

" What is your other name?"

_" I am son of Sarek house of S'chn T'gai."_

_" I was referring to your none formal given name."  
_

_" I have not been called by that since my childhood."  
_

T'pal cocked her head a millimetre to the left a sign of deep curiosity.

Spock repressed a sigh, though she would soon know the depth of his emotional troubles he wished a to appear in control for a little more time, perhaps that was pride, he did not know.

_" You are aware that my mother is Human."_ T'Pal continued to stare blankly.

_" She named me after her great-grandfather."_ She Still gave no response.

_" A Terran name."_

Spock let out the hidden sigh.

_" Gerald."  
_

_" You prefer to be called by your formal name even though the relationship between a patient and mind healer is an open and informal one."  
_

_"Yes." _

_" You led to believe that your psychological discomfort is due to the breakdown of a relationship with a Human woman."  
_

Spock took a deep breath. He knew that if he wished to regain control quickly that total honesty was required but to be so open about his thoughts and emotions and even the events of his personal life was not his usual way, not any Vulcan's usual way.

_" I was bonded to a young woman, the bond has gone. It has left.. a hole, a hole that has left the rest of my mind in turmoil. I have prided myself on my ability to control my emotions like any full Vulcan could. But now I have lost most of that control."_

_" I asked you to choose a familiar place where we could be left in solitude. Am I to understand that this is your chosen spot."  
_

_" A cave, a few kilometres away. Will that be suitable."  
_

T' Pal inclined her head in agreement.

_" Walk and I will follow Spohkh."

* * *

_

Spock felt something drawing his attention away from the flames in his mind. It was an eternal representation of his emotions and he had spent the last seven hours watching that flame keeping it from burning to deeply, from getting out of control and slowly trying to shrink it. He allowed himself to raise up into consciousness. He looked around the small cave he was in trying to ascertain what it was that had disturbed him. Then on a small breeze that drifted in through the rock opening he smelt something recognizable, a mixture of Terran roses, cooking spices and bath salts.

" I know you are there mother."

He remained seated as the mouth of the cave was momentarily blocked by a shadow; she walked with soft steps and sat two point three foot away from him. She was silent for a while, looking at him as if waiting for him to speak but if he had wished to speak to her he would have got into contact with her, she sought him out so it was she who should speak first.

" I heard you were here Spock. I knew something must be wrong so I came."  
Spock found he could not look at his mother. His inability to control his emotions seemed shameful. The causes of them deeply private. He felt the lightest of touches to his shoulder.

" Humans often find speaking about their troubles to be the first step in ridding themselves of them."  
Spock held up his hand to stop her from talking.

" I know you are not Human. I know I raised a Vulcan son. But surely it is logical to try all ways of ridding yourself of these emotions. "  
Ridding himself of emotions wasn't that what he was aiming to do. To rid himself of pain to fully immerse himself in logic without any ..distractions. To regain his efficiency at his job and to once again focus upon scientific enquiry, that was the path he had chosen.

" When I have regained control I will be under going the kholinar."

He heard his mothers gasp.

" But, Spock, why?"

" It is my decision mother I do not expect your understanding nor need your approval."

" But what about your partner, what about Nyota? It will change your relationship with her."

" I believe that relationship is damaged beyond repair."

" Spock.."

" Our bond has gone. Do not ask me how as I do not know."

" Spock, if you and Nyota became fully bonded then nothing could break that, it may still be there, you may just be blocking it so entirely that.."

" Our relationship did not withstand the death of our unborn child."  
There was silence in the cave for a long time, he could feel his mothers emotions her shock. He could sense the stiffening in her limbs and the quiet tears falling down her face.

" Your father and I, we had arguments…before you were born. I thought we'd never make it through them. I was always so upset and he was just.. stoic, I thought he was disappointed in me…"  
Spock raised his hand again to stop her.

" She did not want the child as it would interfere with her career, she felt relief at the childs passing."

" And what did you feel?"

Spock held back a sigh, he was on Vulcan he was under the care of a healer, something a Vulcan would only do as a last resort as it was to admit they were no longer in control of their emotions.

" I am here."

He sensed her nod her silent understanding.

" Do you want it to be over?" She asked quietly.

Spock thought of all the thing's he wanted to be over at that moment, the pain, the confusion, the conversation but he knew that she was referring to his relationship with Nyota. No, that he did not want to be over. But what he wanted didn't mean anything. The unbreakable link was gone, and that meant something."

His Human side had led him into desires and wants that he should not have experienced. He had acted illogically in pursuing Nyota, illogically in cementing his bond with her. Now he was tormented by emotions, this was the dual side of the happiness he thought he had found, pain, and turmoil. It was time he took control again, time he rediscovered the Vulcan path. Time to kill the Human inside of him.

" I will complete the Kohlinar." He responded.

His mother stood up to leave, Spock didn't know whether he wanted to beg her to stay or feel relieved that he could return to his meditation.

" Just tell me this Spock, a full bond can only be broken by a priestess or by death. When you realized the bond was gone did you fear Nyota was dead?"

" No." He had not even considered that possibility. He knew Nyota was still alive. He had not seen her or spoken to her but he knew that she was alive and relatively well. The fact he had that knowledge didn't make sense.

" That's because you know she's not dead."

" Correct."

" That's because the bond is still there."

His mother grasped his shoulder before leaving him with new questions to contemplate.

* * *

The matriarch of his family stood before him. He had to admit to feeling some degree of nervousness. She was a regal but intimidating figure in her formal robes with a guard stood two feet behind her and a priestess dressed all in white waiting by her side. He bowed to her then as he straightened raised his hand in the traditional greeting.

_" Live long and prosper T'pau."  
_

_" Spock, son of my house. It has been many years since we have met but I know of your progress, your life choices. You have chosen to undergo the Kohlinar."  
_

_" Yes."  
_

_" It is not a decision lightly made. Most undergo months of meditation and solitude before making the decision. "_

Spock kept silent.

_" Allow me to see your mind."_

Knowing refusal of T'Pau would led her to refuse to assist him Spock nodded and knelt on one knee before her chair. T'pau 's finger reached out to him finding his psyh points and Spock was surprised to already feel the probing of her mind, unbelievably strong.

_" My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts."_

The memories came without his reaching for them, the mind of T'pau reaching to all corners of his mind finding his most treasured memories and viewing them without emotion.

_Her hair was done up in some softly curled flowing way, and she was wearing make up, beige lipstick and some white glittering stuff on her eyelids . Spock couldn't stop himself from staring at her, the dress was low in front and showed the top curves of her breasts, it hugged her hips and her legs seemed longer, she was wearing strappy shoes with high heels. She looked older, beautiful and still had that grace and confidence that he had previously noticed._

_" Hello, commander."_

_He had the desire to touch her, to know what she was thinking to feel that thrilling jolt and warmth that he had whenever he touched her skin. Just one touch, he wouldn't let it go any further than that._

_" Nyota." He said turning inwards so that he was facing her bed. She turned also so that they were facing each other in the dark, still a safe nine inches between them. Spock reached out his hand to her. His index and middle finger stretched out and the other two curled into his palm. He wondered if she would deny him this simple touch, there would be an awkwardness between them if she did, but he felt she would not, she had shown no resistance to his touch before._

_" Give me your hand." He requested._

_He watched as she slowly lifted her hand and mirroring his gesture pressed her two finger tips to his. He immediately felt that familiar jolt, it seemed to travel all the way down his spine and rest in his stomach, he heard her gasp and knew that she had felt the same sensation. Carefully and slowly he moved his fingers gently stroking down hers. He felt a spreading warmth throughout his body and he made no attempt to stop the telepathic bond that started to form between them. He felt her wonder, her delight and a gentle warm spark of energy and light that was Nyota herself, her soul, her katra._

_" One hundred and ninety five days, or rather six months and thirteen days."_

_" I do not know what the particular number pertains to."_

_Nyota looked down, avoiding his eyes._

_" It's how long it's been since thanks giving, since I first realized I wanted to be with you."_

_" Four days Spock. I don't want to spend them without you. On my Birthday I asked you to kiss me and you said you would If I asked you when sober."_

_" Yes."_

_Nyota stepped forwards, she pressed herself against his as she had once before. He could feel her pushing calming feelings towards him. _

_" I'm asking Spock." _

_" I Love you Spock."_

_Spock felt as if his heart were trying to punch it's way out of his body., it was hammering so hard at her words, at the sincerity in her eyes and the gentle breathlessness of her words._

_" You don't have to say anything Spock, just know that I do."_

_"Now you're mine." _

_" I have been your since the moment I first laid eyes on you." _

_"I'm ready._

**Goodbye Nyota, my t'hy'la. I will not even think your name again after this time, Nyota, Nyota, my love.**

Spock opened his eyes to T'pau staring down at him, her fingers having left his face. Something about her stare made his certainty dissolve and with it he felt the tingling of something he had not felt in a long time. Just a tiny little glimmer of light, nowhere near as strong as it had once been but it was definitely there. He let out a deep breath, feeling something leave him like a large weight from his shoulders.

" You are not ready." T'Pau said.

He was not he knew that now. His mother had been correct. The bond was still there and it always would be. He knew it needed to be rekindled. Knew this was what he wanted, what he needed. Reunion with Nyota, to forgive, to understand and to accept her as his bondmate once more.

He looked at T'pau and knew that she could read the questioning in his expression. She inclined her head once and held up her hand.

_" I am gracious to you T'pau."_

_" Peace and long live Spock."

* * *

_

Spock felt calm as he typed the familiar number into his com system. He had only arrived back at the academy from Vulcan thirteen minutes beforehand . Now he had made the decision to try forgiving Nyota a lot of his anger had disappeared, so had most of his depression. He was willing to start again, to communicate their emotions to each other, to apologize for the way he had left her. To assure her that they could make it through this, that he had discovered his love for her was not so easily broken.

He felt a tingle of excitement as the call connected. But then slight disappointment as Farnia answered. She looked slightly shocked to see him, he hoped it was due to his argument with her father in law and not due to her having become aware of it's contents.

" Hello Farnia."

" Hello Spock."

" I am aware that your family may not be happy to hear from me but I wished to talk to Nyota."

" It's okay, Baba's out though so is Nyota."

" Do you know when she'll be back?"

" Probably in an hour or two." Farnia stared at him as if trying to make her mind up about something. It seemed she decided to trust him as she lowered her voice slightly and continued speaking.

" She's at a councilors, she's been really depressed since you left. Peter had to go back to work but I chose to stay to try and help out. Some days I think she's getting better but yesterday I took Akina in to see her and she just started crying and wouldn't stop."

Spock felt numb at this new knowledge.

" Is she physically well?"

" Yes. She is now."

Spock nodded.

" You will tell her I called?"

" Yes." She gave him a small sympathetic smile. " Good luck Spock."

" Take care Farnia."

Spock slumped slightly in his seat as the screen went black.

* * *

Spock watched as the clock ticked, the last two hours he had spent answering messages and organizing his schedule for the last week of the break to be sure everything would be ready for him to start teaching again in exactly eight days. Despite being occupied the time had gone slowly and exactly two hours since his first call to the Uhura household he typed in the number again.

Again it was Farnia who answered this time with Akina in her arms.

" Spock." She said sounding slightly surprised.

" Spot!" Akina shouted sounding excited and pleased to see him. He couldn't help feel his mood lift slightly at the sight of the child.

" Hello again Farnia, Akina. I was wondering if Nyota had returned."  
Farina grimaced slightly.

" Yes. I'm sorry Spock. She say's she doesn't want to talk to you."

Spock felt that strange sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

" I can understand her reluctance but there are thing's that need to be said."

" I'm sorry Spock, perhaps it'd be easier if you message her?"

Spock nodded solemnly.

" I shall do that."

" Sorry Spock." Farnia said as the screen went black.

* * *

Nyota Uhura,

Nyota, I understand that leaving you in the manner in which I did has caused the rift between us to grow even contact me when you are emotionally stable enough to communicate effectively, we have much to discuss. We need to reach an understanding with one another.

Sincerely Spock.

* * *

Spock sat in his bed looking at the thin slips of glossed paper between his fingers. The first photo showed Nyota kissing him on the cheek under the peace tower. He laid it on his bedside table and looked at the next one, a copy of her academy identification photo, his lips twitched he had printed it off before that night Nyota had come to him and asked him to kiss her. He had felt slightly stupid printing her picture off when at the time she was only his student but he had wanted to be able to gaze at her when she was not around, he had only given into desire and got it out of his draw on two previous occasions. He placed it next to the other careful not to cover it up, he wished to bale to see them all. The third photo was him in a hospital bed with Nyota and Chris on one side of him and his mother on the other holding up the brightly colored balloons. The last photo literally hurt him to look at, Nyota kissing him in Paris; he could remember the feel of those cool lips on his. They had been happy then, and he reassured himself they would be happy again.

* * *

It was three days until the start of tern and Spock was worried that Nyota would not talk to him before the start of term and they would have to speak to each other in the chaos of the first day of term. He tapped his fingers against the surface of his desk. He made the decision to try calling her again, it had been five days since his last contact and perhaps she had settled her emotions enough to talk to him. He stood up and went to the office com system, the building was practically empty and his door was shut so he had no fear of being overheard. His fingers trembled slightly as he typed in the number. The screen flickered and then she was there. She was In his view for the first time in week. She had lost some weight, her cheekbones were slightly sharper but her familiar eyes warmed him. She glanced down and bit her lip.

" Nyota." He breathed.

" Hello Spock." She answered after a moment of silence, her voice quiet and reluctant.

" I wish to talk to you."

" You've made thing's pretty clear." Nyota answered her voice between angry and tearful.

" I do not understand. How have I clarified things? We have not spoken."

" You shut down our link, that's a pretty clear signal."

" I shut down the link?" He asked shocked, he had known he had put some of the walls up but he thought she had been doing the same. But as he thought about the anger he had felt, the urge to be away from her he had new questions. Could he have been entirely responsible? Could he have completely shut her off without his answer. Would Nyota even know how to wall of the link so effectively?

" I felt it, you burnt it away. It hurt, like a fire in my brain and then emptiness. It was a cruel way of doing it Spock."

" Nyota I.." His voice faltered as she began to cry.

" You don't need to say anything else Spock. I.. I just.. a part of me can even understand it. .. I really thought we.. It doesn't matter."

" Nyota I don't understand what you're saying. You are obviously distressed and I am sorry that I caused you pain."

" You burnt the bond. "

" I wish I could comfort you." Spock answered feeling sad that he had caused her pain and could not even hold her close to him to make it go away.

" I don't need comforting Spock, I'll just.. I'll just deal with it. Don't feel sympathy for me, I'll get through this."

Spock opened his mouth to reply but the screen went black.

Shocked he went back to sit at his desk, he allowed his head to drop in his hands as he tried t understand what Nyota had said. Had she believed that he had burned their link on purpose? That he had tried to divorce her without a single word? It seemed that was the answer. She had known of his anger, and he himself had not known what he was capable of at that time, no wonder she thought he had been capable of such an act. Spock searched out that tiny spot of light within his mind. He stroked it sending her feelings of comfort and calmness. The bond was too weak for her to know what he was doing but she would feel it's affects. AT least in this way he could comfort her and every time he touched that link it would get a little stronger. She might of hanged up on him but she was misinformed, he did want her back. He would do whatever it took to get her back.

* * *

My dearest Nyota.

What ever we are

We belong together

Wherever we are

We will find each other

Whoever we are

We are

Forever one.

Your Spock.

* * *

Endnote: Aren't Lenard Nimoy's poems sweet.

Note on names: Spohkh is apparently how the Vulcan's pronounce Spock's name though I think in early chapters I put Spokh, will have to correct that at some point. Gerald Is I believe the name Lenard Nimoy mentioned for Spock in 'I am Spock.'

S'chn T'gai is the name of Spock clan that's given in some none cannon Star Trek books.


	41. Physical vs emotional communications

Okay, work load huge at the moment, so it's a short one, also as i'm only using the uni computer lab at the moment it's difficult to find a quiet time especially when your writing thing's that you don't want people to be reading over your shoulder. Saying that, rated M for sexual situations.

* * *

Chapter 41: Physical vs emotional communications

Spock awoke on the morning before the start of the next academic year with a very clear outline in his head of what he needed to accomplish that day. Although he had taken measures before going to Vulcan to ensure he would not get behind in his duties but there were still lecture notes he wished to check and update with new information discovered in the last year. He also wanted to completely rewrite the guest lecture he was giving to the new tech cadets on advanced computer programming, before he had always used his Kobiashu Maru program to illustrate his main points on multiple sequence multiple possibility simulations but he had read a paper handed in by cadet Checkov the previous year and he wanted to quote it.

However as he headed for the shower something was niggling at the back of his mind. He considered it as he bent his head under the teaming water allowing it to stream over the tips of his ears and drip down his face. He watched It pool at his feet for a moment before the familiarity of the sensation finally made itself clear to him. It was weak, much weaker than he was used to, but it was there. The tingling of that link in his mind, she was close. His mind was reacting to the closeness of it's bondmate. Nyota was back at the academy. He shut the water of the shower off wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped in front of the automatic door of the bathroom. He froze as it opened, each millimeter revealing a sliver of red fabric until ti was finally fully opened and Nyota was stood in front of him

Her eyes were wide as they met his , her cheekbones stood out slightly and her dress uniform hung slightly lose on her showing she had lost weight. The slim lines beneath her eyes spoke of weeks of not enough sleep and her slightly limp hair and paler than usual skin showed nutritional deficiencies but still she was extraordinarily beautiful to him. As Spock's mind took all this information in his heartbeat increased and he felt that warm tingling excited but entirely comfortable feeling that he had always associated with seeing Nyota after being apart for a period of time. Then those warm feeling disappeared and were replaced with worry. He had wanted to talk to her, wanted to see her but now he knew how delicate these next few moments between them were going to be. The idea that he could say something wrong and lose her completely again, lose the link as he had feared a few weeks before, it scared him.

" I'm sorry, I tried to ring the bell but the door pad still recognizes me." Nyota said her voice wavering slightly.

" You are always welcome here Nyota."

She looked away from him and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

" You.. the poem.. It made me think maybe .." She sighed and looked up at him, although he couldn't sense her mind in the way he used to he still knew her and he knew that she was sealing her emotions so she could say or do something that scared her. It was some slim comfort to know that she was as scared as him. She stared directly at him and spoke quickly.

" That maybe you weren't trying to break up with me."

" I don't want to break up with you. I doubt you could ever do anything to make me wish to end our relationship. It is painful to think I almost lost you. "

Nyota stared at him for a long moment her eyes flickering slightly as if she were having an inner debate.

" Almost?" She whispered.

" The link is still there Nyota."

She started shaking her head.

" Let me show you." Spock said taking a step forwards his hand reaching out to her face. She shook her head and turned fro him. He felt a sudden pain in his stomach followed by a wave of nausea at the idea that she didn't want him to touch her and didn't want to re-initiate their bond. He stopped unsure of what to do next.

" It is there." He repeated. He search his mind finding that tingling dim link and considering how to bring it to her attention he tried to remember the feeling he had felt when he had first saw Nyota stood in his apartment then he pushed it towards that link.

Nyota turned towards him her brows slightly lowered with confusion. She met his eyes asking a silent question.

" You feel it now?"

" That is you isn't it?" She said sounding unsure. " It feels like you but it's.."

"It is weak, our minds are distant from each other." Spock explained.

" I felt it burn away." She said sadly.

" It is only blocked by our emotions. I was angry with you, I wished to be distant from you. I did not know that it would block our bond, I did not do it on purpose. I have not heard of this happpeing before."

Nyota stared at him and he felt uncomfortable at her scrutiny in a way he had never done before. Finally she sighed and taking two steps backwards collapsed into her favorite chair burying her face in her hands.

" I was really angry at you when you left, I thought.. I thought lots of things I shouldn't have done."

" As did I. But you are here now."

She looked up at him and he could see her resolve had now failed and a tear was trickling down her face.

" I'm not sure why I came Spock."

" I do not believe you would have come if you were not open to rekindling our link."

" I'm open to talking."

" Communicating is the first step."

" Don't.. Spock don't push me I'm not sure .. I'm not a hundred percent..logical."

Spocks stomach twisted.

" That is a sentiment I understand. I shall not push you any further. I just do not wish to be without you for a moment longer. "

He watched as something in Nyota seemed to break and the tears ran more freely down her face. As her body was wrecked with sobs Spock sat in powerless silence. Then she raised her arms, reaching out for him and happily he pulled her off the seat onto his lap and held her in his arms. He buried his face into her shoulder taking in the familiar but missed scent and softness . In his darkest moments he had thought he would never feel this again. As her tears dripped onto the skin of his back he stroked up and down the soft clothed material on hers.

After what felt like hours but was actually just over ten minutes Nyota seemed to still the hitching in her breath evened out and he got the impression of emotional exhaustion from her.

" I love you." He whispered still afraid of her denying him despite her having held tightly to him and let him comfort her.

" Spock.." She muttered.

He felt her cool palm pushing against his chest and for a moment he felt a great sense of loss, he thought she was denying him but as he closed his eyes tightly with the pain of the thought he felt breath tickling his cheek. Then before he could register what was happening cool soft lips moist with familiar sweetness were placing slow trembling kisses on his. He replied hungrily, desperately, without thought. It was illogical, but as Nyota's fingers ran up and down the tips of his ears and her weight shifted against him all thought went away. His desire rose quickly, intensifying with every small touch and unthinkingly his hands grasped at her thighs moving up under the material of her skirt until it came in contact with the oft white cotton he was familiar with, he peeled it away and within minutes he found himself sinking within the familiar welcoming flesh. Every thrust pried open their link a tiny bit more, allowing Spock the relief of being with his bondmate again physically, mentally and emotionally until they were able to share the intense climatic rush of pleasure together.

He laid quietly with Nyota's weight resting against him listening to the beat of her heart as it slowed back to it's usual pace. But as he came back into himself and became more aware of what was aping he realized that the link was shrinking and no amount of probing would keep it open. It settled just slightly brighter than it had been before she had first kissed him, he was disappointed but it was progress. After Nyota's body had stopped trembling and her breath had evened Spock felt her muscles begin to tense against him. It affected him in kind, he worried that she was feeling regret and that added to the disappointment that he felt that their briefly open bond had closed and a little shame from their illogical emotion filled actions leaving him just as confused as before their quick tryst. Nyota shifted against him, pulling away so that her body was n longer touching his.

" I wanted her." She said sadly.

Spock stilled not even daring to breath to deeply.

" Those last couples of days. I wanted her. I stopped thinking about Star Fleet and I started to see what it would be like to have a child with you. I was going to call you, I was going to ask if I could come back and move in with you like you suggested." She froze and took a deep breath and Spock felt another tear drip onto his chest.

" Then the pains started." She said her voice starting to tremble. " It all happened so quickly at first I told myself it was nothing to worry about, I was so scared I wanted to believe it was nothing to worry about. By the time I knew I had to call a doctor the bleeding had started and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, nothing my doctor could have done. He didn't know how to deal with a hybrid. And I thought it must have been my fault because I hadn't wanted her."

" Nyota.." Spock muttered not knowing what to say.

" So I told myself that it was for the best, that I'd have made a dreadful mother and she never would have survived anyways. Just an illness, just an it. Because it was easier to deal with that way, easier than the guilt. Then you came and the look on your face made me feel so much guiltier. She was growing in me but I never really connected, never really sensed her. Not like you had, not like when you had touched my stomach. So I repeated those thing's I was trying to believe." She sat up and looked down at Spock her eyes red and swollen. "I didn't mean them, I didn't Spock.'

He reached up and touched his fingers to her cheek feeling the wetness there, He didn't feel anger at her words, he was glad she had wanted the child, he felt he was more able to connect with her now. Truly felt for the first time since he had felt their bond burn that things could be as they had been before. He wanted to take away the pain, the pain in both of them but he didn't know how. they would have to continue, continue talking, continue comforting each other and hope that eventually it would happen.

" I wanted her… I wanted her."

Spock sat up pulling her close to him again. But she put her hand between her and his chest pushing against him, he felt a flash of confusion and shyness and fear from her. Like the rest of the night he did not know what to say so he allowed their to be an awkward silence between them as Nyota stood up and started to fix her clothing.

" I.. Um, Gaila gets here in an hour. " She gestured to his door. " I'm, I'm going to go clean up."

" Nyota… please can we .." He searched his English vocabulary for the phrase Terrans commonly used " Can we start again?" He begged her.  
She froze staring at the floor, Spock could hear her heartbeat increase.

" I don't know." She said quietly. " I can't think straight." She said holding her hand up to her forehead.

" Will you come here for dinner tomorrow?"

" No." She said after a moment, to Spock the words felt like a kick to his heart. He felt defeated and lost.

Nyota meet his eyes for a moment and then glanced down.

" Lunch perhaps, on campus." She suggest sending him a life raft.

He nodded not trusting himself to answer, he was so emotional so illogical. She was keeping him distant, they would not be able to discuss important matters but at least they would be together. She nervously bit her lip.

" Yes. Lunch." Spock answered.

* * *

Well, I hope you forgive that it's short and rushed seeing as the alternative was not updating for at least another two weeks. Free time is a rarity at the moment and free time in which I can access a computer even more so.


	42. Reevaluation and forgivness part 1

Well sorry for the wait, dissertation and projects and upcoming exams. But now I have a new electronic writing pad so I can write at home again so the updates should become a little more frequent, and in one month I finish uni so the last couple of chapters should come one after the other with a few days between updates.

So here it is, another chapter cut in half because of lack of time but part 2 is partly written so there will be another update coming relatively soon.

* * *

First week of September

Spock looked around the mess hall, Nyota had not arrived yet so he would choose the place to sit, he choose by the large glass window at the back but close to the door so he would see her as she came in. He set the tray of salad sandwiches peppermint tea and fruit salad on the table. He felt the slightest tingling in the back of his mind he almost smiled as he looked up and saw Nyota walking in. He could feel her, no where near as strong as he used to be able to but still, he could feel her again. He reached back to that point of light in his mind and sent an inquiring thought.

_**Nyota?**_

She continued to walk towards the back of the room searching for him. She had not heard him, that part of their bond was still not fixed. He felt slight disappointment but then reminded himself that their bond had already begun to open up again, given time they would be able to communicate telepathically again.

He stood up and raised his hand not bothered that other people in the full mess hall would know he had made a lunch appointment with Nyota.

She turned saw him raised a hand in greeting then pointed to the replicators. Spock nodded and sat back down as Nyota replicated some foods. He noticed a few curious eyes following her as she walked across the room to join him, it seemed that caution was still necessary.

"Ny.." He said as she came within a few feet of the table.

"Commander." She said quickly.

Spock took a deep breath to recover.

" Hello Cadet Uhura." He corrected himself.

She set her tray down and sat down.

"So, how's your first day of term going?" She asked.

" It is as it always is. All the first years get to lectures late because they get lost. All second years arrive late because they all went out and got drunk last night with the friends they haven't seen in six weeks. The third years however always arrive on time as they get anxious that it is the final year and the last chance to get their grades up."

"That's unusually inaccurate of you. I was on time, first and second years and I'll probably be on time for your class tomorrow to. "

" I was taking an existing problem and expanding it to make it humorous."

" Did Captain Pike teach you that?"

" Yes."

" I've uh.. Commander Micko thinks I should go up to your advanced exercise classes but I'd like a few extra weeks to ease myself into it after.. After the summer."

" I shall speak to him on your behalf."

"It's okay I can do it."

They took a moment to eat a few mouthfuls.

" What do you think of your new modules?"

" It seems like it's going to be an intense year."

"I remember my third year, unlike the first two I was not bored."

Nyota gave a small smile.

" Oh I'm definitely not bored. Two days back and I'm already stressed. It's going to take an organizational feat to get everything handed In on time this year."

" You are fully capable of organizational feats."

She gave another weak smile.

"Thanks. I was planning on learning another extra curricular language but I'm just not going to have time."

" You will encounter many opportunities to learn new languages if you get placed on board a ship next year. "

"Yeah, just one more year to go."

" Correct."

" And who knows what will happen at the end of it."

" It is true that unforeseen circumstances can sometimes occur that changes the path that we seem to be on."

Nyota stared at him for a moment then looked back at her salad. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

" The paths we're on." Nyota muttered.

"Was there something wrong with what I said?"

"No, just.. Just the third year blues I guess."

" I have often heard students talk about this but it usually comes later in the year."

" I guess I've just had some chances to reevaluate lately."

"That can be a good thing." He answered trying to still the thoughts in his mind that she had reevaluated and decided she no longer wanted him.

"I guess sometimes the things we're striving for aren't actually the things that will make us happy. It seems like when we find the things that make us happy it can sometimes feel like they're getting in the way of what we're striving for but in truth we should be concentrating on those thing's that make us happy as there's no guarantee that the thing's we're working hard for will actually make us happy or happier than the things we already have. I didn't put that very clearly did I, for a communications officer I.."

" You will be beyond adequate as a communications officer. And I believe I understood and I appreciate you saying it. It would be illogical to give up the things you pursue and illogical to deny happiness if you find it."

"I thought Vulcans didn't believe in the pursuit of happiness."

She chided in an obvious attempt to break up the seriousness of the conversation.

" They believe in serenity above happiness but as Human's believe in the search for happiness above all other thing's it would be unnatural for you to deny it."

" What about you Spock, happiness or serenity?"

" You should know Cadet Uhura I am half Vulcan Half Human."

"So serene happiness?"

The bell signaling the end of the period rang. Spock stood up.

" It was nice talking to you Cadet, and serene happiness is a valid thing to aim for but it is something else that I value above all other things. _You." _He said in his home dialect. Nyota stared at him her amber eyes wide.

"Spock..."

"I shall see you in class tomorrow cadet."

"Yes Commander, thank you for your company."

" It is always a pleasure." He nodded to her then left wishing they had the time to be alone just for a few minutes but there were eyes watching ears listening and she would not allow him to see her alone. Not yet anyway.

* * *

Spock stood at the front of the lecture hall. He entered the data card with his lecture presentation into the consul, he turned on the projector screen, it always took a few minutes to load up so he took a look through his notes as he waited. He wasn't really concentrating on the task, he'd read through and altered them only a week previously. He kept glancing up at the slowly filling hall, all the faces were familiar as this was a recommended module for those on the linguistics pathway. Finally he noticed the figure he'd been waiting for arrive. Nyota, in her dress uniform with boots and her hair tied back. She walked in next to Gaila and they slowly made their way down the stairs stopping to talk to people that they knew. Half way down Gaila separated from Nyota with a wave of the hand and a few quick words and sat next to a young man. Nyota carried on down the stairs and sat in the bottom row, chair nearest the aisle on the left side. Spock felt a sense of contentment, Everything was in the right place. He moved to the middle of the floor, exactly four feet from Nyota.

" Good morning cadets, please make your way to your seats I will be starting in two minutes."

* * *

Third week of September

Spock was glad the weather was still reasonably warm as Chris's favorite bar was strangely busy this night but there was a small beer garden in back and Chris agreed to them sitting outside where they could actually hear each other speaking. Chris came out with their drinks and set a glass of ginger beer in front of him.

"Thank you."

Chris sat across from him, took a deep drink of what Spock took to be triple whiskey. Let out a gasp and stretched.

"So?" Chris asked.

Spock raised his eyebrow.

"I saw Nyota in the library yesterday."

" You went to the library?"

" I do read occasionally you know."

" No I didn't."

" I have books in my apartment." Chris complained.

" Yes, bur you pile them up on the floor and use them as make-shift tables."

" I read. Case closed." Chris said sharply.

"If you say so."

Chris glared at him for a moment and took another sip of his whiskey.

" So, Nyota. She's back, have you seen her?"

" Yes. We are trying to repair our relationship. We have lunch together twice a week."

Chris stared at him for a moment holding his glass in his right hand and twisting his wrist so the amber liquid swished around the sides.

"Good." He finally said as if he had actually needed to consider if it was a good thing or not. "Wouldn't want to be one of those couples who break up in the first year of marriage, or.. Bondage."

"Indeed I wouldn't."

Chris gave him his patented 'we're about to have a serious and personal conversion' stare.

"Spock are you alright?"

Spock found himself staring down at his drink, why was it he couldn't just answer 'yes' and move on with the conversation and with life. What had happened could not be undone to concentrate on it was illogical. Perhaps he was just not Vulcan enough.

"There will be time for children later."

"There will." Chris agreed softly.

" At a time when Nyota and I have both decided it is suitable to have children.

"Spock.."

"There is no logic to mourning that which you cannot change. I can fix my marriage therefore that is the logical thing to concentrate on."

"Spock.."

" I think of her." Spock blurted. Chris watched him patiently.

" I dream of her, but she is gone."

Spock felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder as he stared at a ring mark on the table.

" You don't need to hide that pain Spock.'

" It is starting to dissipate. "

"That's good."

Chris finished off his drink and slammed the glass on the table.

" Let's talk about something else."

"Yes. It has been a while since you have seen fit to tell me anything of yourself."

"You've had your own problems to deal with."

"Are you saying that you've had problems?"

" Just ones of the classic kind."

" Classic, as in Shakespearean?"

" I guess you could say that."

" Chris?"

" Well I've not got any of that Romeo and Juliet stuff going on like you have, but, well my ex is back in town. "

" The pilot?"

" Yep."

" How long for?"

" Just a few weeks but in March she's coming back for good. She wants to meet up and talk."

" You have known this woman for many years?"

" Yeah, I was twenty-five when we met, serving on deep space five. I meet her the first night, we lived together for two years then she was offered a promotion and she was gone. " Chris looked down into his empty glass and was silent for a long moment his eyes flickering with memories from half a life time ago.

" Would you like another drink?"

" I don't think I feel like drinking." Chris said. Spock allowed him a moment of quietness.

"There's more to this story isn't there?"

" I'd brought a ring." Chris said fidgeting in his seat as he talked. "Guess I was just stupid to think that she'd stay for me, women in the fleet they have their ambitions and why shouldn't they, but these ambitions get put above everything else. Or maybe she didn't love me then."

"Then?"

"Yeah, every few years we would be in the same sector at the same time and both have some leave stored up. We'd get maybe a week or two together. Five years ago we managed to get a few months together and she told me she regretted leaving twenty years ago. I couldn't answer her, after all those years of stolen moments I couldn't trust her enough to commit. You reach an age when you think ;hey it's finally time to stop gallivanting around the universe and find a nice quiet corner with a farm and horses somewhere. "

" You came back to the academy."

Spock said thinking about how the dates coincided.

" Yeah, thought I'd settle into a desk position, maybe find somebody who wouldn't leave. But, turns out I'm not made for desk positions." He gave a short laugh. " I jumped at the chance to captain the Enterprise."

" And now, she's coming back."

" She asked me to give our relationship a chance."

" Will you?"

" I'm going on the Enterprise, I've already made the commitment. "

" You can have her positioned on the Enterprise."

" I know."

" The board would allow that."

" I know."

" But you're not going to." Spock said. He had never known this aspect of his friends life. Chris had always said he was an old fashioned romantic and Spock knew there had been women, flirtations, maybe something more than that but always short lived. He had not known that there had ever been somebody important to him.

" You love her."

" You want to talk to me about emotions Spock?"

" Yes." Less than two years ago he would have awkwardly avoided the question but he had been learning a lot about Human emotions of late.

" Does it matter? Does it matter if I love her if neither of us can ever commit? if both of us think our careers are more important than love?"

" You do not believe a career is more important than love. You encouraged my relationship with Nyota despite the fact that it could have seriously damaged my career. You protected me when accusations were made. You said it was because you believed in love. Are you afraid?"

"Well why shouldn't I be?" Chris snapped. " It's been years Spock. We've been playing this game for years and we both lost. I need that drink now." Chris got up and walked away. Spock sat outside for half an hour drinking his ginger beer waiting for him to come back but he did not. After some deliberation Spock went inside and immediately saw Chris sat at the bar. There were three more empty glasses in front of him. Spock walked over.

" Christopher, are you ready to go home?"

Chris didn't answer as the barkeeper put another glass in front of him. Chris downed it.

"Yeah, I'm ready to go." He answered. Spock helped him unsteadily down from his stool and they walked silently back to the academy.

* * *

Second week of October

Spock was just finishing reading the latest updates on the Enterprise, the ship had been finished whilst he was on Vulcan and all the paperwork for Spock's position as first officer had been filled out and finalized. Later in the week the Enterprise would be moved from the ship yard in Ohio to space dock. Though not counted as a maiden voyage it would be the first time the engines were going to be run and the first time she would be flown though there was a towing ship accompanying her. Spock and Chris had been invited to accompany her to the space dock and take a first tour before the months of intensive testing and trial flights. Chris had agreed but Spock had decided not to, he came up with lots of logical reasons he couldn't go but he's biggest reason was an emotional one. He didn't want to be that distance away from Nyota at this point in their relationship. He had just placed his PADD down when the door swished open. He turned alady knowing who it was.

"Nyota." He said standing up. " I did not expect to see you today."

She stood nervously in his doorway her hand moving up and down her folded arms.

"Come in, tell me what's wrong." Spock said.

She took a couple more steps forwards her eyes straight on the floor.

"Gaila's going through some strange hormonal pheromone thing."

" I had noticed she has not been in class this past week." he said haltingly.

Spock walked over to her and rested a supportive hand on her arm.

"The is no need to worry Orion women go through periods of hormonal instability. They are brief and I have never heard of there being any lasting effects from them. "

Nyota looked up into his eyes, the expression on her face was familiar, it was not worry as he had suspected. He laid a hand on her cheek and opened his mind trying to sense her emotions and found them open to him. He gasped at the intensity of them. He had to take several deep breaths to regain his regular breathing but the rest of his body was still out of control, increased heartbeat, and his blood seemed to be all rushing south.

"You have been affected by the pheromones Gaila has been releasing." He stated.

"Yes, I..I.." She blushed and looked away.

"It is not something to be ashamed of."

"I, I need.."

Spock noticed her hands trembling. He took them in his own, before he could stop it her fingers were running over his sending shivers up and down his spine. A nagging thought at the back of his mind told him that the feelings she was experiencing was not unlike those he had felt at the beginning of his time. He knew he had to help her. He opened his arms and let her step into them. He trailed slow languid strokes down her back.

" I'm here, T'hy'la."

Her fingers clutched at the material of his uniform.

" I need.."

" I know. Open your mind to me a little more." He requested.

He felt the link between them opening slightly and he pried at it opening it just enough so her emotions flowed into him tainting his world until there was only the need.  
It was illogical, just pure emotions, and not the ones usually felt when this close to her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and sucked that slightly salty skin into his mouth. Her hands were already on his pants and as they stroked up and down through the material he felt that familiar swelling increase almost uncomfortably and that desire to be enclosed within her soft flesh. He grabbed at her securing one arm around her back so she was tight against him and then lifted her thigh bringing her center against his crotch. He turned her pushing her against the wall, he heard her slight grunt , knew he had been too rough with her. But she didn't stop she was running one hand through his hair and putting little bites down his neck as her fingers tried to work their way to the opening in his trousers. The little nips sent electric shivers straight to his groin. He pulled away a little to give her the access they both desired. A couple of undignified movements later and her cool fingers were wrapped around his hot and stiff cock. He felt the deep growl rumble out his throat. He tilted his head forwards seeking her lips but she turned her head away from him so he settled for kissing every inch of her face he could reach. His hand found the edges of her skirt and slid down her thighs. His brain quickly did the maths, he would have to let her go to remove the underwear, he didn't want to do that and it couldn't just be moved so the only semi-logical solution was to rip it. So he did, with another sharp gasp from Nyota but she continued to encourage him with her fingers scratching at the back of her neck where the short hairs stood on end. Then the material parting them was gone and they slide effortlessly together. They burned together, their rhythm faster, rougher out of control. The waves that shock her body came quickly and Spock bit down on her neck as her back arched and her hands clung at him. He tried to be a little gentler as he thrust into her a few more times as the incredible pressure in his lower groin and stomach built to breaking point and that blinding little explosion that made him forget everything for a few seconds except his body and the world of sensations it offered. His body slouched slightly as the tension ran out his muscles. He held her close to him for a few minutes as they regained their breath and ability to move jellied limbs. He pulled away from her and wrapped an arm behind her knees and the other round her back lifting her easily and cradling her against his body. He laid her gently on the sofa and sat on the floor beside her tenderly brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face.  
"Do you feel better?" He asked.

She nodded slightly.

"Can I get you a drink?"

" Some water." She asked after a moment.

He nodded and went to the kitchen. He poured her a glass of water and took it back to the front room to hand to her.

"Thank you Spock." She said her tone letting him know she wasn't referring to the water.

"You do not need to thank me."

" I don't know how to explain.."

' I have read of the effects of Orion phernomes. "

She gulped the water down thirstily, their was a long moment of silence after she'd put the glass down on the table.

" I couldn't seem to keep control. " She finally said.

" That is a feeling that I am unfortunately familiar with."

Spock said trying to suppress the memories of the lack of control he felt during his fist pon farr.

" You were busy." Nyota said standing up.

" You cannot go out like that." Spock said thinking of her short skirt and lack of underwear." I still have some of your clothing in a draw."

She nodded.

" I'd forgotten about that, thank you."

She went into his room and Spock stood feeling a little awkwardness as he waited. When she came back out the only evidence left of their quick tussle was a slight alluding smell that he doubted the human nose could pick up.

" Bye Spock, and thank you again."

"Nyota, perhaps you should consider going to talk to McCoy he maybe able to give you something to counteract Gaila's phernomes."

"Yeah, I should have thought of that it just crept up on me."

" If you need somewhere to stay whilst Gaila recovers..."

Nyota looked down blushing.

" Thanks. I'll uh..I'll see what McCoy can do first."

Spock nodded.

"Bye." She raised her hand.

"Bye."

After she left all Spock felt was emptiness. After making love he usually felt full, as if his heart could burst, contented and as if he would never truelly be alone as he was only one part of a two part soul. But now he just felt alone and empty, she had needed him, she had burned. He did the right thing so why did he feel empty? Why did he feel distant from her? It seemed to him almost as if they had satisfied their physical needs but not connected in any emotional way. Was that why he felt empty? Was that why he missed her already?

* * *

Spock sat at his desk, it was 11 am and the only day of the week,when he did not arrive at his office before 9am and for that matter the only day he did not check his messages before 9am. This was because of the advanced combat class he took between 7am and 8:45am and the federation languages class at 9am. So here he was at 11:03 checking his E-mails before he met with an enthusiastic student at 11:20. There were the usual inter-department memo's and students requesting appointments or extensions. But in amongst them was something of interest.

Commander Spock.

It has been three years since you programmed the kobayashi maru. It was suggested in last weeks tech meeting that perhaps it is time to look at it's security systems and make revisions. As the original designer of the simulation you are the best person to take up the task.

Commander A'dele

Spock didn't hesitate in his answer.

Commander A'dele.

It is indeed time to update the security system and to do a complete systems check. Thank you for bringin this to my attention. As no haste is required I will start in the first week of the new term. I will assign some of the responsibilities to three students. It will be a good teaching opportunity to those in my advanced programming class. I will fill out the relevant security forms.

Commander Spock.

* * *

Third week of October

A bead of perspiration was making it's way down the back of her neck. Spock watched it silently. Her back was straight, muscles at the back of her shoulders tightening and relaxing as her arms..

"Commander!"

The husky voice reminded him of where he was, in the middle of the second exercise field surrounded by thirty of his students.

" You have finished your push-ups in less time than usual."

Cadet Lei looked at him with a slightly confused expression.

"Most of us are finished Commander."

" Then why are you still here? Weight lifting has always come after push-ups."

" You haven't given permission for those who are finished to go to the gym."

" Very well Cadets you have permission. I will join you once the newest to the group have finished. "

He watched as twenty-five of his students left the field then turned his attention back to the new members all sent over to him within the last month. He tried to keep his eyes off Nyota and concentrate on one of the young men who had a habit of letting his form go sloppy once he reached the nineties. Within minutes the last five had finished. He walked with them to the gym falling in beside Nyota after a few strides.

"Cadet Uhura, how are you finding the group this time."

She gave a wide smile as she turned to him.

"Easy." She breathed obviously still catching her breath.

At least one of us is finding this experience easy he thought.

* * *

So part 2 will hopefully be up soon and be be longer.


	43. reevalutaion and forgivness part 2

Exams, speeches, dissertation and a splash of writers block, but it's all over now and for the next month at least I am all yours lovely readers ( or mildly pissed off readers), so time to get this finished. I am going to race to the end to get this story completed on the 22nd of July, exactly one year after I started it ( though it feels like forever, has anybody been reading this from the start? Doesn't it feel like forever? I think I may cry when I finish it, well I've written the ending anyway but.. might cry when I up load it, nah I'm not that sensitive). Anyhow enough from me, nobody ever reads the authors blurb anyways, ON WITH THE SHOW!

Oh yeah, one swear word. SO.. M?

* * *

1st week of November

Spock stood looking across the crowd of student, some of them he was not very familiar with as they had not attended any off his other modules but most he knew relatively well from the linguistics modules, guest speaking as a science lecturer, the botany lab or his fitness and combat classes. He had just finished up his lecture in the usual fashion of giving out a small weekly assignment and recommended readings so the majority of the class was starting to pack away their equipment, talk or bolt from the room for their next lecture. Spock took a step forwards to the hardly used microphone and cleared his throat. The room went immediately silent as 126 pairs of eyes turned to him.  
"Cadets Christophe, Zami, and Gaila, could you please step down here I wish to discuss a opportunity for an extra credit project that has arisen. I will not keep you long."

He registered the curious expressions on his three most promising students faces, two human and of course, Nyota's Orion roommate. He carefully packed away his PADD and disk of lecture slides as the cadets made their way down the stairs to him.

"Cadets." He said folding his arms behind his back. " A simulation I design several years ago is scheduled for a renewal. It is still relatively new technology, so it should not require more than a complete systems check, a realignment of some components a few small up upgrades and the insulation of a new security system. Due to the interference of other responsibility I will require assistance. If you accept it will be a valuable learning experience and will appear on your records, also if you are efficient in your work then I will gladly give a recommendation to any prospective commanding officer stating that affect."

Zami seemed to show signs of excitement.

"Sir, is this the Kobayashi Maru simulation you're talking about?"

"Yes Cadet."

" Wait the unbeatable test?" Christophe asked.

"It has not yet been passed to the satisfaction of any student who has taken it but its purpose is not to pass but to judge certain command characteristics in the individual."

" Ah this is so cool sir." Zami said.

Spock raised his eyebrow.

" I Mean.."

" I take it you accept."

"Yes sir."

He turned to Christophe.

"Yes sir."

Then to Gaila, for some reason she wouldn't meet his eyes as she unenthusiastically muttered 'yes'. Spock was a perplexed by this for an instant before it clicked that she might be questioning his reasons for picking her.

"You are the top three students in this class." He said pointedly Meeting Gailas eyes. "Make the most of this opportunity."

* * *

Spock trailed his fingers over the various materials feeling the change in textures under the sensitive nerve filled pads. Paper turned to rougher cardboard then indented plastic followed by a soft pad over wood. He hesitated as he reached the old leather bond volumes then he let his hand drop. The library archives were quiet and still, Spock rarely saw others down here, it had been a haven as a student a quiet place where he could look at the old books that wouldn't be worth the time to update into electronic forms. He rarely checked the books out; they were too old to fare well outside the special environment of this room. Instead he ran his fingers along the titles until something caught his interest then he'd open it at a page somewhere in the middle and read for hours at a time. He had read an interesting book from the end of the nineteenth century just as Humans were starting to theorise on the relationships between space and time and the other dimensions and the possibilities of the future it was called the universe in a nutshell. Another time he had read several short stories from the brothers Grimm. Today he had read half way through a book by Jules Verne, he was considering going to Mr. San's bookshop and purchasing his own copy. He placed the book back in it's rightful place until he could find time to continue reading it, ran his fingers along the spines then turned to leave.

As he took the elevator up to the ground floor he felt completely serene and fully ready to submerge himself in the large pile of paperwork (or rather compressed files) some to do with making sure his replacement next year knew everything he needed, some on the Enterprise systems, and the release forms for his students to work on the Kobayashi Maru. The lift made a slight ding as the doors opened. Spock walked out into the light of the libraries main stacks, the space was so large that most new students took a full year to beat the disorientation but Spock turned north northeast directly to the exit. As he walked amongst the shelves he took in the light breeze from the open windows that bordered three out of four walls. Today the easterly breeze brought the smell of honeysuckle from the Darwin garden for plants that were in danger from extinction. He came to the end of the row of shelves and into the large central study area. He froze, his heartbeat increased his breath hitched in his throat, he could not have moved if he wanted to. Nyota was sat directly in front of him, a beam of light from a nearby window falling directly across her and bathing her in light, her hair looked like it had slight blue highlights from reflecting the light. Her mouth was pursed in contemplation and there were slight crinkles around her eyes from staring hard at the PADD in front of her, one of many on the table surrounding her. It was a picture of absolute concentration and it was beautiful, almost like a Greek statue demonstrating all the aspects perfect to a certain state of mind. He considered reaching out to her with his mind and getting those liquid amber eyes to turn and meet his but he knew that would break her perfect concentration and so he stared at her a bit longer taking in every little detail storing it in his mind as if storing a image on a computer. File: Nyota, Year: three, name: Nyota unobserved looks like the Greek goddess of concentration. He felt his lips quirk slightly as he tried to gain the resolve to move from her.

" Commander Spock?" An enquiring voice with a slight Orion accent came from his side. He turned to see a short Orion girl from his first year federation languages class stood hesitantly a few feet from him.

" Yes Cadet?" He asked his eyes once again finding Nyota, this time meeting her own. She smiled at him and he felt the tickle of an enquiry at the back of his mind.

**_Watching?_**

He tilted his head slightly to one side, no.

" I was wondering if you had a spare three minutes to help my conjugate a few unusual Vulcan verbs." The cadet was asking, her timidness coming off her in waves that attacked his telepathic brain.

"Yes. " He answered turning to her. " You have my full attention." He answered bringing his focus entirely onto her. But as he sat patiently explaining Vulcan syntax to the student who had approached him outside his office despite so many other believing him to be unapproachable his eyes occasionally flickered up to glance unnoticed at his lover sat two tables away.

* * *

2nd week of November

Nyota had finally found time ( or maybe run out of excuses, Spock really wasn't sure) to properly spend the evening with Spock and he was taking full advantage, he had restrung his lute, looked up some films that may have been of interest to Nyota and made a dinner of yams, a meat substitute marinated in some spices and a cheesy leek bake. They had talked about there day to day activities as they ate Nyota would be leaving the next week for a few days to go back to Africa for the short thanks giving break. Spock wanted to ask deeper questions about what was going on in Nyota's life but so far she had been avoiding talking about anything serious, she still wasn't letting him in. Spock wondered how long it would take for her to trust him and to forgive him for walking away when she needed him. Perhaps It was time he made the first move, he had been giving her time but he did not want to get stuck in the position they were in now. One of them needed to start pushing and if she would not then it was time he as the Humans said test the water.

" Nyota, when are you leaving for thanks giving?"

" Next Tuesday."

" How are your parents?"

Nyota paused for a moment.

" They're fine."

" How are they behaving towards you?"

Nyota sighed.

" The last time they saw me I was still in bad shape so every time I call they talk to me like I'm a china doll."

" Do you feel like you're still fragile? Because it does not seem it to me." Spock asked.

" No. I'm fine Spock. Now I'm back at the academy and I can concentrate on work I'm happier."

Spock's lack of answer must have been interpreted as doubt.

"I'm fine Spock, I haven't cried in a week and that was because I got a message from my Mom about Nyonda and I.. " She drifted off, but she didn't need to finish her sentence for Spock to understand, despite their differences she missed her sister. "My menstrual cycles have started again so my bodies almost back to normal." She said quickly trying to hide the fact that her eyes were tearing up just mentioning her family. He knew that she had previously shared a close and open relationship with all her family, since coming to the academy those relationship's had suffered several blows.

They were quite for a moment and Nyota pushed some circles of leak around her plate.

" You wish to ask me something?" Spock guessed.

Nyota kept her eyes on her plate as she spoke.

" I wanted to ask you how you're doing?"

" I am doing well Nyota. I am in control of my emotions and back to meditating the usual length of time."" That's good, I'm glad."

" I am also happy that you are recovering from the Ill effects of the summers events."

" This is good."

" Pardon?"

" The food, It's good."

" I'm glad you like it. What would you like to do after Dinner? I have got several films from the library."

" Can I.. Can I listen to you play your lute. It's been a while since I heard you play."

" Yes, it has been a while."

They smiled at each other over the table. It seemed like it was going to be a good night.

* * *

3rd week of November

Spock briefly entwined his fingers with Nyota's, she would only be away from the academy for a matter of days but the idea of the physical distance between them made Spock uncomfortable. He knew and accepted that their was no logical reason for such discomfort but he still felt it. Nyota looked up and gave him a small smile, he could feel her dread through their link which had started to deepen in small increments. Spock placed his hands on the small of her back and pulled her close, she sighed and leant her forehead on his shoulder. Her fingers stretched up the back of his neck and moved through the short hairs there like she used to.

" Why are you dreading going home?"

" You know my sisters visiting."

"Is that the only reason?"

"That and the way my parents treat me, they don't seem to know how to act around me, it's like I'm a stranger to them."

Spock bent his head to press a kiss to her temple.

" Act like yourself and soon your parents will start treating you like they used to."

" And Nyonda?"

" Separate yourself and your emotions, if she says something that upsets you acknowledge that you are upset but do not allow your actions to be dictated by that emotion."

" I try to. It's just she knows me so well that she can hit every sore point I've got."

" Nyota, you're on the star ship duty registers."

" I am." She asked pulling away to look up into his eyes.

" Was there ever any doubt? You're in the top of the majority of your classes and passed all fitness and combat tests. You're in the fifteen percent who are listed for star ship duty upon completion of the year as long as you pass the final exams in the top twenty percent. These are the last days you will get to spend with your family before leaving the solar system. Do not spend them in arguments."

"I don't want to argue with Nyonda."

"Will you be seeing baby.." He stopped speaking suddenly wondering if the mention of a baby would hurt her.

" It's okay Spock." She said running her hand up his arm.

" Will you be seeing Akina?"

"Yes."

Spock looked down into her eyes trying to search for her emotions, they seemed calm through the link but it was possible to lie through a link by building a false wall of a certain motion around the link. He didn't know if this was something Nyota had learnt to do, she had picked up on how to be telepathically bonded to somebody for the rest of her life quickly with little instruction, he supposed it was because she was naturally communication expert, despite there current lack of communication.

She reached up and caught his face between her hands.

"Spock." She said seriously, her amber eyes boring straight into his. " I'm alright, I'll be alright."

" Which is it? You are or you will be?"

Nyota smiled widely, rose on the tips of her toes and kissed him. Spock leaned into the kiss taking in the fruity taste of her lips and the slight stickiness of her lips. She pulled away all to soon, leaving him feeling alone.

" Impossible man."

Spock quirked his eyebrow, the words impossible man seemed like a bad thing but she said it so softly and just after she kissed him so it couldn't be.

" Don't worry about me."

" It's not illogical to worry about ones bond mate."

"Spock." She whined. Then she let out a huff of air and looked down, her hand sliding to rest on his chest.

" Tell Akina that Spot says hello."

" Spot?"

"She cannot pronounce Spock."

Nyotas lips quirked as if she was holding back a smile.

"Okay, Spot says hello." She turned and looked at the clock on the wall behind her. When she turned back there was a slight hesitation in her posture.

"I have to go now."

" Yes." Spock said. She briefly dropped her hand to touch his.

"Bye." She said.

"Bye." He answered.

She turned and walked out the room without looking at him again.

* * *

1st week of December

Spock marvelled at the cool breath tickling across his chest at regular intervals, he carded his hands through Nyota's silky hair noting it was longer now than it had ever been previously. She gave a small sigh and tilted her head upwards placing a small kiss along his jaw line. Spock moved slightly angling his face hoping for more kisses. Nyota raised herself on her hands; the feel of her skin on his seemed to linger for a moment after she'd moved then it was gone. Spock quirked his eyebrow up at her, ready and willing for more physical affection, it was the only kind of affection they seemed to be sharing at that moment but it did seem to open their bond wider so for brief seconds of time he could see into her mind and taste her emotions again. He could not hide his disappointment when instead of initiating more contact she shuffled to the end of the bed. He watched the movement of muscles under her skin as she stood up and walked the few steps to where her dress lay discarded. Her long limbs had finally lost that weakness they had held after the summer. As she bent to pick up her dress Spock decided he could not leave it any longer.

"Why do you never stay anymore? Why do you come to me for sex yet never let me hold you afterwards? Why do you never kiss me on the lips anymore? I feel you are keeping me at arms length, letting me in so far but no further. I miss you, I see you in lectures every other day, see you for lunches, you come to me once a week but I miss you."

Nyota had frozen in the act of pulling on her dress. He could see the tension in the muscles at the small of her back; Hear her breathing hitch and her heartbeat increase.

Spock stood and walked over to her. He took the dress she was pulling on and threw it onto the bed.

"Spock."

He rested his hands lightly on the cool flesh of her waist and buried his head into the crook of her neck. After a few moments he felt her relax. He wrapped his arm around her, splaying his hands across her stomach.

"Come back to bed." He whispered against her neck.

She sighed and pulled away from him.

"Not tonight okay. I have a test on Monday and I have to study for it tomorrow."

Spock felt tightness in his stomach, Disappointment, but he took a deep breath and pushed it away.

Nyota pulled on her dress and turned looking him in the eyes for once.

"It's not an excuse Spock." She said sincerely. "It's for the mandatory astronavigation module. I may like the stars but finding my way around them has never been my strong suit."

" I will send you some useful papers."

" Thanks Spock."

She held up her hand, two fingers outstretched ready to receive the Vulcan act of affection. Spock took a step forwards and pulled her to him. She took a second to regain her footing and looked up at him with startled eyes. Before she could question him he bent his head to capture her lips. He had wanted to initiate a kiss as passionate and intimate and breathless as they had used to share but even though she kissed him back he found it stiff, without feeling. He pulled back again disappointed. Nyota gave him a watery smile and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Lunch on Tuesday?"

Spock nodded.

She froze as she was about to leave the room.

"Perhaps..." She muttered looking over her shoulder at him. "Perhaps we could have dinner instead, outside the academy grounds?"

" I hear there is a play on at the old theatre, Shakespeare. I could get tickets, we could eat before."

"I'd like that. Goodnight Spock."

" Do you still love me?"

The words came out without him thinking about them and he cursed his human side knowing that it was what had allowed the secret fear he'd carried for weeks to be vocalized.

" Yes Spock, always."

Spock nodded; Nyota hesitated at the door for a long awkward move then walked out the mechanical swish of the door closing after sat heavily on his bed. She loved him at least she loved him. One day she would let him in again, he was practically sure of it. If she didn't their love would grow stagnant and cold and would become like a thorn stuck in their minds causing a constant niggling irritating pain. He got up collected his clothing from the floor and put it into the laundry basket and pulled some soft sleeping pants from the wardrobe. He pulled them on and climbed between the sheets. He reached out for the pillow next to him, it still smelled faintly of perfume and raspberries and sweat. He pulled it up burying his nose in it and took several deep breaths, holding onto the scent of her for as long as possible then he rested it on his chest and fell asleep hugging it to his body.

* * *

Spock watched Nyota's face as she watched the play, though it was an enjoyable insight into past forms of human entertainment and behaviour Nyota's little smiles and gasps were of far more interest to him. He did continue to follow the story line with it's young man pushed to murder by the woman who he loved. It was full of illogical characters and seemed to put the worst of Human greed corruption and violence on show.

Nyota seemed to sense his eyes on her and turned to smile at him. He was delighted as he felt her cool fingers reach for his own. For the rest of the play she held his hand squeezing it tightly as Lady Macbeth threw herself from a tower and the ultimate scene. Spock felt the emotions flowing through her at each change of scene. The fact that Human emotions could be controlled and altered by such works of fiction was fascinating. As the curtains fell and the audience stood to clap Spock leaned over and whispered in her ear.

" Thank you for sharing this with me."

She leaned into him resting her head against his shoulder.

" Thank you for bringing me here Spock. "

They held hands as they walked out of the small theatre unnoticed in the crowd of people. As Spock was not ready for the evening to end they walked at a slow pace back towards the academy.

"I no longer think that Shakespeare was a Vulcan. A Vulcan could never conceive of anybody taking such illogical actions."

Nyota laughed a deep true laugh that made Spock turn to take in her wide smile and shining eyes. It was the first time he'd seen her laugh in months. A true happy laugh and not a fake little laugh.

" I know about Vulcan history, I know Vulcan's used to kill for their mates all the time."

" The emotions of Vulcan's are deep and volatile but controlled."

She took his hand.

" I know a little of Vulcan emotions." Nyota answered. Spock felt slight excited tension in his stomach as she swung round and stood close to him. She raised herself onto the tips of her toes; her hand snaked around to cup the back of his neck. She brought his head down so his forehead rested against hers. He felt slow tendrils prying at the edge of the link and he happily complied letting the link edge wider and wider till he could sense more of her than he had since the summer. He let out a little gasp as he felt waves of emotion, glowing warm orange affection and tenderness. It warmed him from his core till he could not feel the cool breeze of the night. His fingers gave a slight anticipatory tingle that continued up his spine. A fluttering settled into his stomach, butterflies or moths or other winged insects.

Spock tried to gather himself enough to reciprocate. To feel her warmth again was more wonderful than he had ever expected it to be he had not realized how empty and cold he had felt lately. He heard her happy sigh and sensed some kind of relief flowing from her.

" Spock." She sighed softly.

He tried to speak but only managed a gulp.

"I forgot how good this feels."

Spock considered how to answer, a very small part of him wanted to snap at her, wanted to be angry, after all he had been wanting to work on reopening their bond for months it was she who had said no. But most of him was glad she also felt it was good.

" I've missed you Spock." She said softly. Spock pulled away from her and met her eyes.

"Does this mean you will start letting me in again?"

Nyota looked away.

"I know I've been absent lately, I don't want to be."

" Then don't be."

" I'll try." She took dropped his hand the bond almost immediately shrinking again. They continued walking; they walked a somewhat familiar path along the waterfront and came up to a small grass area. Spock noticed Nyota tilting her head up slightly to look at the stars.

"Would you like to sit a while to look at the stars?" He asked thinking it would allow them a little more time together.

Nyota smiled.

" You don't see the point of looking at the stars."

"Astronavigation?"

"Don't start me on astronavigation." Nyota said sitting down on the grass.

Spock's lips quirked slightly as Nyota patted the grass beside her. He folded himself on the cool grass beside her. For a minute they looked up at the stars in comfortable silence together, Spock thought that perhaps he was starting to understand Nyota's romantic view, the constellations sparkling against the pitch black was aesthetically pleasing.

"Spock?"

"Yes?"

" Would a meld help the bond?"

"If you allowed me to remove the blocks you have put up between my mind and yours."

"I will."

Nyota twisted her body around to face him and laid her palm against his cheek, he was sure the fact that her fingers brushed against his meld points (causing a slight sizzling sensation) was completely unintentional.

" I don't want this to be so difficult any more. I didn't mean to make it difficult, I just.. You left, and I thought you cut me off completely and I know you didn't but it hurt and.."

He mirrored her putting his had to her opposite cheek.

"Nyota."

She stopped talking.

"I think we have talked of this enough. It is time to move on."

"Yes." She breathed out. "I want to move on, new start."

"Then we shall."

She let out a little breath and tilted her head slowly moving in till her soft and smooth lips caught his. He allowed himself to get lost in her soft slow movements holding her close to him hands searching all those curves he held so dear, a familiar and beautiful landscape. Spock gently lay down on the floor taking Nyota with him. Eventually the little nagging in the back of his mind that said this kind of behaviour in a public place, however quiet, was really very unvulcan. He pulled away and flipped onto his back. He listened to Nyota's slight panting.

"I wish I could just sleep here out in under the stars."

"It's a little cold. I can burrow the floor projector again. "

Nyota sat up and looked down at him.

Her face excited.

" Really?"

"Yes. We can put it in the bedroom and lay together under the covers."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

" Yes." Nyota answered.

Spock sat up and reached his hand down to help her up. He pulled her close and gave her a quick kiss on the lips then wrapped his arm around her waist and they set back to the academy.

* * *

Second week of December.

Spock was struck by the fact had only been three weeks since they had last been in this position, except this time it was much worse. This time he had left Nyota with a question to consider while she was gone, he would not push her in the direction he wanted. They had rushed into bonding in the first instance, it had been a chance, not a definite. Nyota had said yes to the chance, not the definite, he now wanted, longed, for her to say yes to the definite. On their date she had suggested a mind meld to mend their bond and bring it back to what it once was. It was logical to tell her to take time to consider the full implications. It was logical, but it still hurt slightly to do so.

She had come to his apartment early so they could spend a few hours together before she left the academy for two weeks. They had talked quietly with each other about their plans for Christmas, Nyota was determined to make her relationship with her parents more comfortable. She said her mother was starting to relax more around her, things with her brother had never been affected but her father was still treating her like a china doll. Spock could tell it annoyed her and hurt her slightly but she did not want to tell him to stop, as she said he was only worried because he loved her.

Nyota stretched on the bed beside him where they had laid two hours ago. They had talked haltingly in soft quiet tones for the whole two hours, Nyota laying her head against his stomach right above his heart as he stroked her hair and relished the feeling of talking, just talking to her.

"Nyota?" He whispered.

" No, don't tell me."

" It's time for you to leave."

" No."

" If you do not you will miss your flight to Africa."

" Five more minutes." She said reaching for his hand to stroke his fingers. Spock tried to ignore the tightening in his stomach, if he didn't then Nyota would not leave, and although he didn't want her to leave he knew that she ought to. He took two shallow quick breaths and concentrated on his blood flow for a full minute then gently sat up.

" Nyota." He said leaning over her.

" I do not wish to be apart from you but it is time for you to leave. Do you want me to come to the airport with you?"

" No. It's too hard to say goodbye when you do."

" In that case, it is time to leave." He said bending to place a kiss to her forehead. She sighed and stretched her long arms up to the ceiling then sat up.

" Okay." She moved over to the edge of the bed and stood up. Spock stayed where he was, they had done this enough times to know that she would turn her back and go. It did not offend him because when she turned to go he always felt a wave of pain through their link, he would let her leave in the easiest way.

" Spock." She said pausing by the door but not looking back. " We will meld when I get back, won't we?"

" If you are ready and sure then we will meld when you get back."

" I'll be ready Spock."

" I hope so." He said quietly.

She walked to the doorway. Then looked back her amber eyes glistening.

" I love you, I love you more than I ever thought possible."

" I love you too. One day, there will be no partings."

She smiled at him and they spent a moment taking in the image of each other to savour during the time apart, then she turned and left.

* * *

Second week of January

Spock looked around his meditation room, he was nervous and he didn't have time to meditate till Nyota arrived so he made do with a few deep breaths and an ancient Vulcan mantra. He wanted to do this right this time so he was setting the room up to allow for the deepest calmest set of mind. He took his old meditation mat out of the bedroom closet and placed it next to the one his mother had brought him. He moved a low table so that it was set directly in front of the meditation mats. He lit three red candles and placed the small statuette of Surek behind the line of lit candles. He opened the small hidden draw in the table and took out a tiny bowl an inch in diameter and a tiny glass vial filled with a fragrant oil, he took of the lid and let two drops of the oil drip into the bowl almost filling it's slight hollow. The spicy scent reminded him of the old desert temples he had visited in his youth, those sacred places where the very soul of Vulcan had been made. He heard the sound of his front door sliding open, she was early. He stood up and padded on bare feet to the open door of the small dark room. The first thing that struck him about Nyota was the nervous stance, her hands twisting, she looked as if she was trying to take up the least amount of space possible. She gave a weak smile when she saw him. He opened his mouth to ask the question that had been on his mind for the past two weeks but Nyota interrupted him.

"I haven't changed my mind."

Spock felt slightly breathless.

"You are sure?" He asked hearing the slight waver in his voice.

Nyota gave a wider smile, he had found that it seemed to lesson her emotions when he felt the same as she did, which was rare as his emotions affected him a lot less than hers did. Nyota crossed the room to him and stood a few centimetres from him, her chin titled up to look up into his eyes. Wordlessly she raised up to kiss his lips gently. His eyes flickered closed as he took in the familiar but never underappreciated sensation. Spock kept his eyes closed as Nyota broke the kiss. He felt the pressure of her hands rest against his chest followed by another slight pressure of her resting her forehead between her hands. He dropped his head, the skin of his nose being tickled by the silky sweet scented strands of hair. He pressed a kiss to the silky surface.

" I'm sure." She whispered.

Spock opened his eyes and looked down into Nyota's searching for something. He felt a silent inquiry in his mind, the strength of it shocked him and Nyota's lips quirked slightly. Spock felt his own twitching in reply. He reached down and took her hand leading her to the bedroom. He dropped her hand and went to his closet, he git out a white robe identical to the one that he was wearing except smaller and brand new, he had ordered it the week before. He handed it to Nyota.

" Put this on please."

Nyota eyed it a little sceptically.

" The last time we melded it was during a physical joining and was somewhat unusual at least in relation to the information I have read. I want to make this as comfortable for you as possible so I thought that we could begin by meditating to remove or indeed place barriers.

" Okay, but I won't be putting up any barriers. I've had enough of barriers between us."

" As have I." He took a deep breath. There was something he wished to express to her, everything he felt and thought of their joining, the things that had happened to them. He had often expressed emotions to Nyota, but this was more different, this was neither fleeting or something he though he would express to her more than once. She turned from him ready to get undressed but Spock caught her hand as she turned. She looked at him surprised and he dropped his eyes to the floor.

" I used to think that one must always be cautious in loving another. " He started cautiously.

"That it was illogical to give somebody else such power over your emotional state. But you have taught me knowing it You have taught me that however dangerous to let yourself be seen truly for everything that you are, to be accepted and loved by a person who knows you as well as you know yourself is beautiful. "

He felt a cool skinned pressure as she squeezed his hand.

"Perhaps the most beautiful thing in the universe, love is the one true cultural universal, only my people try to deny it. For all their knowledge in that sense they are idiots and I am glad to be able to see that. I love you Nyota." He looked up to see her eyes filled with unshed tears that he knew she would never shed.

"All the positive and the negative aspects within you. The strengths and the weaknesses. I love you for exactly who you are. "

Nyota's hands framed his face and she kissed him passionately.

" I love you for exactly who you are a well." She whispered in his ear her breath tickling it's tip and making the hairs at the back of his neck stand up.

"I'm not going to block you out anymore. I was protecting myself, unintentionally. But we will hurt each other from time to time; it's impossible to love somebody without doing so. I think the good will always out weigh that bad though, I just want to love you and be with you and support you now, because I know you'll always look after me so I'm going to look after you to. "

Spock didn't think he could speak, he just wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him for a few long minutes, but it didn't seem to last long enough. Nyota pushed slightly against his chest and he let go of her.

" I need to.."

"Yes. "

He let go of her so she could quickly change out of her jeans and T-shirt into her meditation robe. Then silently she walked two steps behind him to the meditation room. Spock folded himself onto his old meditation mat and indicated to the mat next to him for Nyota to do the same. Silently she folded herself onto the mat next to him.

" You need to clear your mind and enter a state of calm. "

Spock sat and felt himself drifting down into a meditative state. He felt his breathing and heartbeat slow but couldn't quite find that same level of depth he usually reached before he started to ride himself of excess emotions. He was acutely aware of Nyota by the side of him as she fidgeted slightly. He reached out to her and found that her mind was restless.

**_Calm Nyota_**

**_I am calm_**

**_Not the right level of calm. _**

Spock sent a silent inquiry and Nyota allowed him deeper into her mind where he sent soothing thoughts. He felt her calming slightly under his care.

**_You are ready to lower your barriers, it helps if you use imagery, picture them as literal barriers. _**

**_Okay, I'm in front of a big wall. How do I knock it down?_**

Nyota asked.

**_Concentrate on wanting it to fall, then just push._**

He heard her gasp and the feeling of serenity quickly disappeared. He opened his eyes and turned to Nyota grabbing her face between his hands. She opened her eyes in shock.

" Nyota?" He asked worried. Her hand reached up and covered his.

" I think I did it."

Spock nodded, realizing that the link between them was almost completely blocked. The last little block was in his mind. He brushed it aside as if it was nothing, after all at this point they were insignificant issues.

"It's time." Spock stayed. Nyota nodded she turned to kneel in front of him, her knees brushing his slightly.

"Are you comfortable?"

" Yes."

Spock reached for her face his fingers moving slightly till a slight tingling in each of his three fingers told him his hand was in the right position. He could already feel the slight pull of her mind. He started the mantra all Vulcan's knew from a young age.

" My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts."

There was a bright white light. It was not glaring but rather strangely comforting and he felt himself sinking into it and becoming suffused with warmth. He heard a strange double thudding, one quick and sharp the other slow and deep. He realized that it was the beating of both their hearts. Then there was the sound of laughter cutting through the thudding and the strangest noises. The whiteness slowly took on some fuzzy colours and then as if fog suddenly clearing he found himself stood at the edge of a large pool of water. He looked around, it was a blue tiled swimming pool surrounded by a grass area where there were small groups of people sitting, mostly Human and from African decent. He felt a presence beside him and before he could turn he felt a hand clasping knew it was Nyota's he turned to look at her but found himself starring down at a small child with big amber eyes.

" Why here Nyota?"

" I don't know. " The child answered. " It's just one of my favourite places."

Spock turned back to the pool as he looked over the dozen or so children playing in the pool he saw two that he believed he recognized.

" Is that your brother and sister?"

" Yes." The child said sadly.

" Why are you sad Nyota?"

" Because things are changing. I know things must change, but still, I'll miss Peter after I graduate, and I do miss Nyonda, despite everything."

" I know you do."

" Is this normal for a mind meld?"

" It is your mind were currently in, you picked the place."

Nyota nodded.

" I want to jump in." The child said staring up at him.

" Then jump."

" But I don't know how deep it is."

" Let's jump together. "

" Okay."

"One, two, three!"

He held the girls hand as they ran together to the edge of the pool and jumped. Spock closed his eyes ready for the rush of water but it never came, the small hand holding his disappeared though. He opened his eyes to find himself sitting in the familiar stepped seating of a small lecture peered over the five rows of heads and found himself surprisingly looking at himself.

" Is that how you see me?" Spock asked. Staring at the small image of himself standing arms folded behind his back talking in a large clear voice.

" It is you." Nyota answered. Spock turned to see her sat behind him.

"I am not that tall, nor are my features that exact. I believe my ears aren't actually that curved. It is more like a perfected version of me."

" I see you as extraordinarily handsome, because you are. "

" It is not how I see myself."

" How do you see yourself?"

There was another bright light and he found himself in another familiar area. His old school, dark with the strange flashing lights of the bowl computer screens and the chattering of hundreds of childlike voices talking in Vulcan.

" Where are we?" Nyota asked from the side of him.

" In my mind. Or if you are talking about the image this is the school I attended. And that," he said pointing to the smallest child. " Is me."

He watched as the child him was approached by three larger boys.

"Ah, you were cute."

He turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

" Not that you're not still cute."

" I don't think I approve of being cute."

" Well you are."

Spock shot her a disapproving look. She took his hand and they watched in silence as his childhood tormentors began to insult him, when the third called his mother a whore and pushed him. Spock felt a deep shame as he watched his childhood self jump onto his larger attacker and knock him down into the bowl.

" That was the only time I have lost my temper."

Nyota nodded slowly.

" Why are you showing me this, I know you do not see yourself as an out of control child still."  
" No Nyota."

She turned to him and gasped, looking down he knew why, his cloths had gone and all over a body that was his own but frail and gaunt were scraps trailing blood and the large dark green bruises. Seemingly unafraid Nyota took a step forwards and touched his cheek lightly her eyes glimmering with unshed tears.

" You still carry it with you after all these years."

Spock looked down at the floor; he felt shame and embarrassment at not having the strength to over come these childish things. He whispered his most guarded secret to her, the words he had never said to anybody.

" I have never belonged. I am not Vulcan enough, I am not human enough."

" Spock." Her hand dropped to his chin and raised it till he meet her eyes.

" You belong here, you have a place here in Star Fleet, here with me. And you are unique but that is nothing to fear, that is something to celebrate, you know these things, you know of IDIC, why do you not see yourself as a part of the infinite diversity? Why do you not see how you are more than a Vulcan and more than a Human. "

She reached down and trailed her fingers over one of the scratches on his chest and then she lowered her head to place a kiss to one of the bruises on his shoulder. Slowly she ran her fingers and lips over all those bruises and scars caused by a lifetime of never belonging and everywhere that her skin touched his cleared and repaired itself. All the pain that he had been carrying for so long that he had become unaware of it was soothed. He would ever be alone again, he may not belong on Vulcan or on Earth but he belonged with Nyota and that went a long way to making everything else alright. His skin cleared his body began to look less gaunt, he began to feel less frail. Nyota gave him a dazzling smile and leaned in to kiss him. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he found himself back in his meditation room sat across from Nyota. As he dropped his hand from her face she also opened his eyes and smiled at him her face relaxed into a serene expression. The link between them was shining bright than it ever had, Spock felt a large part of her was still with him despite the meld had ended. It was a comforting feeling, he truly would never be alone now, she would always be with him in this strong comforting manner.

**_Thank you Nyota._**

* * *

Third week of January

Spock straightened his tight and removed a piece of lint from his jacket sleeve. The restaurant he had picked to celebrate the reuniting of their minds had stated 'black tie only' therefore he had put on a black tie. When he had informed Nyota she had stated that they didn't need anything so fancy, but Spock had never found black ties to be partially fancy, purple ties were fancy Chris sometimes wore purple ties but to Spock purple was too frivolous. He pressed his palm to the door pad and in under a minute it opened to revel Nyota in a rich purple silk dress. Purple was good, Spock liked purple. Mainly because the floor length purple strapless dress that clung to Nyota's body took his breath away. And how her meticulously curled hair shined and glinted in the electric light , how her big amber eyes shined and how her painted lips quirked upwards when she greeted him. His heart felt like it was about to burst. He didn't usually like Nyota when made up, she was beautiful so why put on the powders the creams waxes and glosses? But tonight she was gorgeous, tonight she loved him, he could see it in her eyes and smile and that burning bright link that connected their minds. Tonight she was that intelligent confident graceful girl he had first laid eyes on two and a half years previous.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey." He answered. They stood staring at each other for a moment, Nyota looked don with a short laugh.

" I guess I should ask you to come in."

" Are you not ready to go yet?"

" No shoes."

He looked down at her feet she had painted her toe nails purple.

" It appears not."

She stepped back into her room and Spock followed her. He watched as she cautiously  
knelt by the wardrobe and reached to the back pulling out a pair of shoes.

" It's been ages since I wore high heels. I haven't been out since September I have so much work to do. Even Gaila's only going to the Space-hopper once a week. " She said as she sat on the bed and pulled on the black shoes. He sat next to her.

"Forget it."

She turned to him a look of pure surprise in her face.

"What?"

" Forget all the work for a single night just let it all go and be with me."

She smiled widely and instead of answering leaned forwards to kiss him. Spock allowed himself to fall back onto the bed.

"Spock!" Nyota giggled as she fell on top of him. He reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"You are beautiful."

She gave a small modest smile and bent her head into the crook of his neck where she nipped gently at his neck.

"So are you." She breathed before rolling off him. Spock sat up.

Nyota laughed when she turned to him.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked wanting to share in her happiness.

" The disappointed look on your face when I pulled away."

" I was disappointed but it is logical to cease before we get caught up we do have a table booked."

"Just let me grab my bag."

As she got up the com beeped. She turned to Spock and gave a weak 'I'm sorry' smile as she walked over to the little screen built into the wall. He noticed her moment of anxiety as she read the name of the caller on the screen.

"Who is it?"

"It's home."

"And that causes you anxiety?"

She turned to look at him with a shadow of doubt in her eyes.

"It is because your parents do not approve of me."

" Yes." The doubt suddenly disappeared from her eyes and he felt a strange sense of resolution coming from her. "It's time I sorted that out."

"If you believe so." Spock went and placed his hands on her shoulders making little swirling motions with his thumb as he felt the tension at the back of her neck.

"If you are ready to set this right then you should, it is the logical thing to do, but as this may start a problem with your family I will understand If you choose not to."

"Spock." She sighed taking a step away from him. "I've already got a problem with my family, they think you're bad for me, you're not bad for me you're part of me, the best part. It's time."  
She turned the com link on. Mr. Uhura appeared on screen.

"Baba."

" Ny I .."

He stopped talking as he caught sight of Spock.

"Spock! I thought you were out of my daughters life." Mr Uhura said pointedly to Spock, Spock opened his mouth to answer when Nyota took a step in front of him. She was shorter than him so could still see him but still the protective gesture was not lost on Spock and although he did not actually Need protection it pleased him that she was willing to offer it.

"Well he's not Baba." She said.

"Nyota, I just don't like seeing you hurt."

"Well I can't live my life without getting hurt from time to time, not if I ever want to leave the house anyways."

Mr Uhura sighed for a second he seemed quite vulnerable and older than his years to Spock.

"Nyota, over the summer, your depression.."

" Baba, it's rude to speak like this in front of Spock." Nyota cut him off, her voice becoming quite gentle as if she too had noticed the vulnerability and worry in her fathers eyes.  
"He knows how I feel about him." snapped.

"Baba, stop. It wasn't Spock's fault, it takes two for a pregnancy to occur and he had the contraceptive jab I was the one who didn't."

"He is older than you Ny, He is your commanding officer, You were underage when you started the academy and he took advantage of his position.."

"No Baba, Spock never took advantage of his position."

"You are young."

Nyota's temper seemed to run out at that moment, like a taught strung suddenly snapping and she spoke quickly and angrily in a tone harsher than any Spock had heard her use before.

"I'm old enough Baba. I pursued Spock, I put myself near him as often as possible, I asked him to kiss me, I sought out the relationship, I initiated the sex, maybe not the time I got pregnant but the first few times. I love him Baba, I love him and you're going to have to forgive him, forgive the both of us, because he's not going away. He's your future son in law."

Something over whelming and glowing and completely unidentifiable but akin to love and pride was building up in Spock's stomach and Moving upwards to rest in his chest and push against his lungs making him feel slightly breathless.

Mr. Uhura gapped at his younger daughter for a moment. Then pressed his lips firmly shut in a scowl.

"I see."

" Look Baba, please just give us Both another chance, We've learnt, we won't be as stupid again."

Mr. Uhura looked passed Nyota to Spock their eyes met for a moment and it felt to Spock as if he were being scanned by an alien and possibly hostile ship. The tense silence lasted so long Nyota was forced to break it.

" We have to go now. I do love you Baba."

" I can do that." Mr. Uhura answered quickly. " But forgiveness takes time. "

" I know. Thank you Baba."

She shut down the link . She turned to Spock emotional exhaustion registering clearly on her face.

Spock raised eyebrow.

"Future son-in-law?" He asked.

Nyota shrugged.

" I lost control of my emotions, sorry."

" Do not apologize, but isn't that suggesting that we are going to get married."

"Yes." she answered wearily.

" Well, should I not get a traditional Terran proposal? Are you not going to get down on one knee and give me a ring?"

"Are you trying to be funny?"

" Yes."

"You're failing."

" You're angry."

" Not at you and i'll calm down in a minute. "

She turned away from him and took a deep breath. " Besides we're married already right? In the Vulcan manner."

" Yes." That warm feeling in Spock grew and he realized that he was smiling but made no attempt to stop it.

" Well I never got any ring, I never got a proposal." Nyota answered. " It would have nice to do things in the Human way as well."

He took a step forwards and wrapped his arms around her waist, letting his chin rest on her shoulder.

"Perhaps I shall remedy that."

" You don't need to, I'm happy with what I got."

" Sex?"

She gave a short laugh at that.

"No, you."

He felt his already smiling lips twitch wider, they were together again and everything between them was going to beall right. He kissed her neck.

"You are distressed. Do you wish me to cancel our reservation, we can order food to be delivered to my apartment."

She turned to him and smiled naturally.

"Okay."

"Don't get changed."

"Okay."

* * *

So, they're back.

Was that extrodiarily sickeningly soppy? Reveiw , please.


	44. The Kobayashi Maru

Third week of January

Spock looked down at Nyota's sleeping form. The previous night definitely fell into Spock's non-existent 'best nights of my life' list. Somewhere behind Nyota telling him she wanted to be with him, her telling him she loved him, her making love to him, then last night.. Nyota and him being together and happy and completely open with each other again and calling him her husband. Instead of getting up when he awoke he laid next to her looking down at her serene faces as she slept. Something about last night was bothering him,.

_Well I never got a ring, I never got a proposal. It would have been nice to do things in the Human way as well._

Spock wondered if Nyota was disappointed that she did not get a traditional Terran proposal. There are certain times in life that are significant, that stay in the memory for a lifetime. He felt there had been some of those with Nyota, he felt there would be many more. And they were expected, he had expected that one day he would meld, and it was wonderful. It had not happened with who he had expected or in the way he had expected but it was wonderful. Had Nyota expected to get engaged at some point in her life, had she thought abut what it would be like to have somebody propose to her Had she been to weddings and considered what it would be like to be in the brides place? She may love him but was it fair that by bonding with a Vulcan she would miss out on those thing's Terrans considered 'significant memories'?

There was one solution, it was simple, he had to propose. It might seem a little insignificant to him as they were already bonded but he felt that it would mean a lot to Nyota, that it would prove his love for her in a very Terran way. It may also please her parents and help them to accept him. Not to mention how happy some kind of ceremony would make his mother and the fact that they needed some way to get Star Fleet to accept them as a 'married' couple so they would be placed together on assignments. It looked like he was going to have to purchase a ring.

* * *

Spock was knelt in front of a hatch in the wall of the simulation observation room. The hatch was a meter squared and it lead into a tunnel nine foot deep, the spaces between the wires were just big enough for full size Terran to lie in. He undid the final screw and looked up at the three cadets staring down at him.

" This." Spock said. " Is the opening hatch to the main board of the stimulation.

He pried his fingers behind the thin sheet of metal and removed it revealing the tunnel with various colored and thickness wires hanging down in loops.

" You will probably have to access this at some time during your work on the simulation, though for the majority of the time your work will be on the main computer, I have already programmed for your student passwords to allow you access to it. I suggest you all take turns at logging into the computer and familiarizing yourself with the layout of the tunnel."

He stood up and looked at the Galia, Christophe, and Zami."

"Do you have any questions?"

They all shook their heads slowly.

" In that case I suggest you start, I will make myself available to you for the next hour if your exploration raises questions.

The students kept quiet as he moved over to access a computer terminal, logged out of the simulations database and brought up the latest information on the Lapis star system. The three cadets spent exactly forty six seconds in silence, and then Galia spoke.

" Well I'm going in the tunnel first."

Satisfied that the cadets were beginning to work Spock started to read part of his mind constantly listening to the chatter of the students and answering questions. At the end of the hour he gave them some instructions and the titles of some useful papers to read and went to his office. At the end of the day he would go back to the stimulation room and check on the work they had conducted.

4th week of January.

"I am going to ask Nyota to marry me."Spock said.

Chris starred blankly at him. It was their usual Wednesday night drink and they had just sat down at a table in Chris's quiet bar.

"Okay." Chris answered slowly. "Now I'm confused."

"Why should you be confused? Isn't it usual on Earth for a couple of individuals dedicated to a permanent relationship with each other to eventually get married?"

" Spock.." Chris said slowly hunching his shoulders. " Did I dream up the whole situation where you and Nyota bumped uglies and somehow managed to bump minds in the process and got very Vulcan married."

" Taking that the phrase bumped uglies is another delightful Human way of saying had sexual intercourse then both yes and no, marriage is a human phrase, Nyota and I are bonded. Our minds are bonded together in a way that is permanent and only possible to have that type of bond with one other at a time."

" Which is the Vulcan equivalent of married." Chris said slowly pronunciation every word.

" Why do you keep talking slower than normal? My Earth standard is at a very high standard."

"It's because I'm having trouble understanding the situation. If you are already the equivalent of married why would you be asking Nyota to marry you?"

" To propose and to have a wedding."

" Still not getting it."

" To please Nyota."

" Ah. Now I've got it."

"And for her parents and Star Fleet to accept us as a fully dedicated, permanent relationship."

" Okay, now I'm seeing your point of view."

Spock remained quiet for a moment allowing Chris to take a deep drink before approaching the next question.

He took a deep breath.

" Will you be my best man?" He asked. Chris showed no visible reaction he continued drinking then set his glass down and leveled Spock with a stare.

" Don't you think you should wait to see if she says yes and you set a date before you ask me?"

"She will say yes. And the date will be in the window after graduation and before deployment." Spock said confidently.

" Will there be cake?"

" Yes. I imagine Nyota will make sure there is cake."

"I'll be your best man."

"Because of cake?"

Chris gave a rare wide smile.

" No Spock, not just the cake."

" You are a good friend." Spock said feeling a wave of warmth towards the older man.

" There are the bridesmaids as well."

Spock's lips twitched downwards slightly at the bad joke. Chris smiled in return and took another drink.

" So are you proposing on Valentines day?"

_Lying at his feet was a torn red dress and three meters was Nyota's naked form. Cadet Williams was leaning over her, he had stopped staring up at Spock in shock, his hand resting on the belt of the mechanics uniform he was wearing. Spock flicked his eyes back to Nyota, she didn't move, her blank eyes stared at the ceiling without blinking. _

" No, not valentines day. Sometime after Valentines day. Just as soon as I can get a ring."

" Do you want me to come to help pick out the ring? It's one of the best man duties."

" I'm having the ring made. I am ordering a rare stone from Vulcan."

" Diamonds are traditional you know?"

"Yes but I was under the impression that the stones set in engagement rings were special in someway, symbolic. I thought the combined Earth and Vulcan stones would be a relevant symbolism."

"Spock you're getting more sentimental everyday."

"Sentimentality is a Human trait."

* * *

First week of Febuary

Nyota was sat with her legs folded underneath her; she was stuffing popped corn into her mouth as she stared at the entertainment system screen. Spock was rather amused by the expression on her face and the way she kept hiding her eyes behind her hands. She was watching a movie designed to scare Terrans, Spock didn't see the point in it as one, fear is an illogical emotion and two its extraordinarily illogically to deliberately make yourself scared when its considered an unpleasant emotion. This being so he sat writing a lecture for a final guest lecturer slot in the microbiology department his eyes occasionally flickering over to Nyota as she gasped. One time he looked over and she had grabbed the cushion from the chair and completely buried her face into it.

"Nyota." He called.

"Yes."

" Do you wish me to turn the movie off ?"

" No I want to know what happens."

"But you are not watching what happens."

" I can hear it, just about."

" Nyota, this behavior is some of the most illogical I've seen in you."

"I know."

"You know it is illogical and yet you continue to do it. '

" This is a normal Human behavior Spock."

" I have heard this yet I still do not understand it."

"Well, watching a scary film with your partner is meant to have some benefits."

"What benefits are there to scaring yourself?"

" Well, when you're scared you want somebody to hold you."

Spock froze in the middle of typing. It took him three seconds to work out her meaning and another two to decide that the lecture could indeed wait, then five to stand up and walk over to the sofa. He dropped down and looked at the screen. Just as Nyota peered over the top of the cushion somebody on the screen had his neck partially severed by an axe. She made a little gasp and threw herself against his body burying her head in his stomach.

" This film is not only illogical but also inaccurate." Spock stated as the man on the screen held his neck and spent an inordinate amount of time gasping and spraying arterial blood over the trees.

"Considering the extent of his injuries and lack of medical attention he would have died twice as fast as he did, and I estimate that he has lost an amount of ten pints of blood already when the Human body has an average of nine pints."

Nyota's body started heaving against his. He looked down concerned.

"Nyota, please do not vomit on me."

She burst out laughing.

" I'm .not..I was ..trying not to. giggle." She said laughing between.

"Why are you giggling? It is not usual to giggle when you are scared. Nyota I am concerned about your current mental state."

She seemed to laugh harder, he reached for her shoulders and gently pulled her up to look at her face, she was laughing hard her face was coloring and there was a tear sliding down her face which Spock gently wiped away.

" Nyota please control yourself."

Nyota seemed to try and still herself and after another minute and a half the laughing stopped.

"Oh I'm sorry Spock, it's just so funny to hear such a logical evaluation of a slasher movie."

" I do not see why, but I am glad I amuse you."

She stretched up a placed a kiss to his jaw.

" You always amuse me. " She stared up into his eyes and for a moment he found himself unable to think coherently.

" I wish it were possible for you to live with me."

" I think I spend more waking time here than I do in my room. Though of course I spend more time in the libraries and lecture halls than I do either here or in my room."

"We shall have to get joint quarters on a StarShip."

" Your definitely be on the Enterprise won't you?" He could hear the worried tones in her voice and knew she was concerned about what would happen after she graduated.

" Yes. Do not worry Nyota. I will make sure we end up together." He kissed the top of her head and they watched the end of the movie curled up comfortably together. As the movie ended Nyota yawned twice.

" Do you wish to sleep here?"

" I have early morning combat class and then I've signed up for a weekly slot monitoring transmissions in the long range sensor lab."

" That is excellent practise and will definitely look good on your application forms."

He stood up and reached his hand down to help Nyota up.

" I shall walk you home."

She nodded and grabbed her coat from where she had flung it on her favorite seat. Wordlessly Spock took it from her and held it out for her to put her arms in the sleeves.

"Thanks."

She shrugged it onto her shoulders and did up the buttons. She turned back to him and lent her head against his chest.

"Goodnight Spock."

" Goodnight my love."

She smiled and hooked her hands around the back of his head bringing him down to kiss him passionately. Spock placed his hands on her waist and brought her body close to his. When she broke the kiss he whispered to her.

" Are you sure you have to go back?"

Nyota sighed.

" It's probably more logical that I do."

Spock felt himself hold back a sigh as well.

" Yes. It is."

He placed another quick kiss to her lips and then quite unwillingly let her go.

They walked in companionable silence down the hallway and into the elevator. As the lift hit the ground floor and the doors opened with a ping Spock felt a slight buzz of the presence of another. He quickly looked around as he stepped out aware that it was suspicious for him to be seen in the staff apartments with a cadet. He saw Chris friend Bob just closing up the foyers computer terminal.

_**Nyota caution is recommended.**_

_**I understand.**_

He stepped out the elevator followed by Nyota.

" Hello Robert. I trust you are well."

" Yes, the main network connection in my rooms are slow I'm trying to see if I can fix the problem from here."

" They have been slow across the board today because improvements are being made."

" Ah, never mind then."

" Thank you for your help commandeer." Nyota said walking towards the exit.

_**I'll walk home on my own, I'll be fine.**_

"You are welcome, goodnight cadet."

_**Let me know when you are back safely.**_

She gave a slight nod and left. Spock was aware of Bob watching her.

" She's a needy one isn't she?" He stated.

"Pardon? I am not aware of your meaning."

" I've seen her in the corridors several times this year. She must be a needy student to keep coming to your apartment, or she's got a teenage crush on you, you have to be careful of that you know."

" I can assure you I show the due amount of caution. Cadet Uhura comes here because she is an excellent student who has attempted to learn several languages not on the syllabus and therefore she requires my extra attention and assistance."

It was not a lie she had attempted to learn several languages in her first year.

"Right. Well I was just offering some advice."

" I thank you. Goodnight." Spock said before turning to go back to his apartment. Five minutes later as he was sat at his desk worth some paperwork and a cup of herbal tea he heard Nyota's voice.

_**Back safe.**_

_**I am glad, sleep well.**_

He paused in his typing, Bob's warning had concerned him but of course not for the reasons Bob thought he should be concerned. It was a reminder that despite they were now bonded and belonged with each other they still needed to keep their relationship as quiet as possible. If Bob had noticed her continual presence then others could as well. He did not want Nyota's final year to be disturbed with accusations. Just a few short months he reminded himself, a few short months and she would have finished her training and they would be free to fill out forms to be recognized by Star Fleet as a legally tied couple, and free to marry.

* * *

14th of February 

Spock felt... Jittery, it was definitely jittery. It had been two years to the day since Williams had attacked Nyota. Two years since he had experienced such deadly anger, wanted to kill. When he thought back he found that time didn't erase that anger. It was something within him that was controllable but not expungable, but if it could be harnessed to help him protect those he loved he could accept that. He set up the projector, got his notes up on the computer screen ready to be projected on the screen in front of lecture theater. This lecture was on Rigelian, at least when the cadets ended up on the pleasure planet for shore leave they could order a Rigelian kiwi and lemon martini. But his mind was not on the lecture, it was on Nyota. Last year she had fallen into a deep depression on this day. It was nine o'clock and ever since he had got up at five he had wanted to go to her. To make sure she was okay, he had felt her wake up two hours previously but he had not wished for it to seem as if he thought she needed protecting. He knew that she would know what the day was, for two weeks their had been pink and red cards, flowers, stuffed bears in every shop window in San Francisco. It was a day Terrans set aside to remind themselves to let their loved ones know that they did in fact love them, Spock thought it was completely unnecessary, one Nyota felt his love for her through their bond. Two, if he ever forgot to let Nyota know how much he loved her then that was the point when he was no longer deserving of her.

The reason he felt fidgety was that if she did not come to this lecture then he knew that she was depressed as she was the previous year. He did not feel any darkness in their link but he had resisted prying any deeper. Just because they were in a telepathic relationship didn't mean that they weren't allowed any privacy.

He watched as all the familiar faces of his students arrived. He found himself holding his breath when he saw Gaila walk in hoping to see Nyota behind her but she was not. He felt a wave of panic and took a moment to consider what to do, he could reorganize the lecture for another time and go to her but there was still forty seconds till Nine' o'clock.

_**Nyota.**_

He felt a slight panic from her.

_**What's wrong Spock?**_

_**Are you okay.**_

_**Yes.**_

_**Then why a you not in lecture?**_

_**I'm just running two minutes late Spock.**_

His forty seconds were up. Spock started the lecture with his usual 'good morning cadets'. Two minutes later he was in the middle of his lecture introduction, the door at the top of the room opened. A few people in the first few rows turned to Nyota as she walked in blushing slightly. He heard her whisper 'sorry'.

"Cadet, as you should well know by now I do not tolerate lateness."

_**One must keep up appearances. **_He apologized silently.

" I'm sorry Commander it will not happen again."

He nodded at her and continued with his lecture content now that she was within his view.

* * *

Lunchtime

They sat together discussing the lecture Spock had given, he had only taught some of the more basic Rigelian phrases. The universal translators were very exact when it came to Rigelian but he taught the basics in case of malfunctions. As they ate their Salads Spock gave her a few new sentences to practice. He watched her anxiously for any signs of sadness or her trying to keep things from him.

_**What? **_She asked him suddenly.

"I'm sorry I do not understand the question."

" I didn't ask a question Commander." She answered pointedly.

_**Spock?**_

_**I am just a little distracted. **_

" You used the wrong tense in the last sentence cadet."

She repeated it again hesitantly.

" Yes, that is correct."

* * *

Evening.

Spock watched Nyota from the doorway as she fried vegetables. So far during the day he had not shown any signs of depression in her, but she had been busy for the majority of the day. There was a chance that now she was relaxed her emotions may come in a flood. He had heard of such things happening before. He could see a tension in Nyota's shoulders and could feel something vague and dark in their link. She set down the folk she was using to stir the vegetables with a loud bang and turned to him folding her arms as she did so. He saw the storm on her face, the hardness around her eyes and the firm set of her mouth.

_" What is it Spock?" _She asked in his home tongue with a harsh accent that wasn't usually present.

_" I do Not understand the question."_

_" Why have you been watching me all day as if I'm about to.. explode or something?"_

_" It is valentines day."_

_" I know."_

_"It's.."_

_" I know." _She interrupted him holding up her hand._ " I remember."_

_" Are you okay."_

She shrugged.

_" I think I am."_

He held his arms open to her. And she stepped into them he held her close. He wanted to keep her safe, wanted to comfort her and as illogical as it was he wanted to erase what had happened.

" I love you Nyota."

" I love you to."

She buried her head in his chest and they let the minutes go By just holding onto one another.

" Spock." Nyota muttered after an indeterminable amount of time.

" Yes my precious one."

" The Pak Choi is burning."

* * *

1st week of March

Spock could feel Nyota walking up the hallway before he could hear her footsteps. It was like a little hum in the back of his mind every time she came within twenty feet of him. He knew every time she walked into the lecture hall that she was there without having to look up. He waited until the door opened to stand up and welcome her.

She smiled sheepishly as she came in.

" Does it bother you that I can walk into your apartment at anytime without you knowing?"

" Firstly Ayasham, I know when your coming, secondly it does not bother me because I do not consider it just my apartment."

She smiled and sat down in her armchair, he settled himself back down into the sofa.

" Can I stay here tonight?"

" Of course. Is there a specific reason?"

Nyota sighed and bent down to start unzipping her boots.

" I walked in on Gaila with one of her boyfriends."

" I thought you had made an agreement with her that she would stop bringing boys back to your room."

" She had she agreed to go to their places from now on, which is why we began arguing and she wouldn't let it go. She keeps bringing it back up. So I thought it was best to leave her to it tonight."

"Well you're my bond mate, treat my home as your own. Would you like a cup of tea, some supper?"

Nyota gave a deep breath and let her head drop into her hands. She finally looked up at him with a weak smile.

"I've just spent seven hours in the long range sensor lab, if it's okay with you I just want to sleep."

" Of course." Spock said. He looked down at his book; he had planned on finishing it that night. And it was much early than he would go to bed if he were on his own. His usual sleep time was one to five it was only eleven thirty.

" Do you mind if I join you in a few hours? I will try not to wake you."

"Sure. " She walked over and leaned down to kiss him on the check then turned, he heard her walking behind him and stop by the bathroom door.

" This is nice, comfortable." She said.

" Yes." Spock agreed. It was comfortable to have her act so casually in his apartment and to feel as if she could come to sleep there and she didn't mind if he didn't change his routine every time. It was right that they could be themselves with each other. After four point three minutes she exited the bathroom, said goodnight and continued into the bedroom. Spock continued reading for an hour then set the book down and concentrated for a moment on the link in his mind. Nyota was in quite a deep sleep and Spock thought he could probably go in without waking her. He turned of the light before opening the door and padding quietly across the room to his closet. He striped of his Clothes and deposited them in the laundry bin, as he got his night clothes out of the wardrobe he heard the bed creak. He turned and looked at the shadowy mound in the bed. Her breathing had not increased so after a moment of listening for any signs that she was waking he continued to pull on the soft cotton pants. He carefully got into the bed on the other side, and settled down trying not to disturb her. He felt slightly satisfied after a moment of lying absolutely still that he had managed to get undressed and into bed with out waking Nyota.

"Rom Mu-Yor Petakov" He heard a sleepy voice whisper.

" I am sorry I woke you dear one." He said.

He felt a sleepy contentment coming from Nyota she turned and her warm body brushed against his. He felt her leg move over his and her arm drape around his stomach as she nuzzled her head against his chest, placing a cool soft kiss to the skin there.

" It's okay." She muttered.

Spock found himself smiling fondly down at her. He stroked her hair gently and felt her mind as she fell back into a deep sleep, he found himself being dragged down with it and happily let himself fall asleep with her.

* * *

The next day

With the updates to the Kobayashi Maru almost finished Spock had laid time aside to observe a simulation to make sure that everything was running smoothly.. He entered the viewing room and said hello to the invigilators and various others who were observing, some cadets there out of interest some instructors there to watch. He made his way to the main computer screen and sat typed his password in, the whole room was kept dark and air conditioned to keep the computers cool, the only lights tended to be the glow of the multiple blue screens dotted around the room. As the computer gave a slight buzzing as it began to load up the program read out. Everything seemed to be running smoothly; Spock got up and went to the observation window, he peered down into the StarShip bridge. The man in the command chair had his head turned from Spock but he could see Doctor McCoy sat at the front and, surprisingly Nyota was sat in the com chair. She had not mentioned it the previous night but then again she had been distracted.

"We are receiving a distress signal from the U.S.S Kobayashi Maru the ship has lost power and is stranded." He heard Nyota say.

He could feel annoyance coming of her and one glance at her posture and expression told him she was showing this annoyance to.

"Star Fleet command has ordered us to rescue them."

The man in the command chair turned so Spock could see his face, he had seen on several occasions. It was the man who had bumped into the table on Nyota's birthday and that he had observed flirting inappropriately with Woman whilst he was at the bar with Chris. Neither of which had left him with the impression that the young man was Captain Material. Spock searched his memory for the name.

"Star Fleet Command has ordered us to rescue them, Captain." He heard the young man say arrogantly. He could understand Nyota's annoyance.

He went to sit back at the computer watching the screen as it flashed up long lines of code. The codes for the visuals of the klingon ships came up one second later than previously just as he had instructed the cadets to change them but other than that everything had been running smoothly.

"Did he say don't worry about it." He heard commander Jackson say from in front of the window.

"is he not taking the simulation seriously?

Spock thought that from what's he'd seen of the young mans behavior then the answer was in all probability no.

He heard the Klingons shooting weapons, Spock checked the update on energy dispersal, check, all satisfactory his cadets had performed admirably.

He felt another surge of annoyance from Nyota, Spock hadn't really been listening but he was aware that she had been asked to do something that made no sense, alerting the medical bay to prepare for casualties when the boy in the captains chair had not yet made any manoeuvres to avoid or attack the Klingon vessels.

He heard the start of the simulated ships emergency alarms, check.

The screen in front of him flickered, something was interrupting the simulation at first he thought it could be a power fluctuation or even a badly written line of code disrupting the computer but then the screen went completely blank for a second. He peered around the room and saw all the numerous screens were doing the same, the Human supervisors reactions ranged from confused to panicked. The screen in front of him turned on, one glance told him something was Not right, to the untrained eye the simulation code looked normal but he had written this program and could see right away that he had not written what was currently on screen. He could search through it later to find out exactly what the simulation had been reprogrammed to do but for now he could find out more by watching what was happening down in the simulation room.

He felt some slight annoyance of his own when he saw Kirk was eating an apple. Spock had obviously just missed him give some instruction as everybody was looking around in confusion, Doctor McCoy was looking blankly at the screen in front of him.

"No there not." He said.

" Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do. Let's not waste ammunition." The fake captain said through a mouthful of fruit.

"Targets locked an acquired on all war birds, firing."

Spock looked at the view screen in front of the simulated bridge. It was surprising even to him that the Klingon war birds pictured there blew up. There should have been no way for the cadets to remove the klingons shielding, the simulation had always ended with the Star Fleet vessel being blown up, either if the cadet was inexperienced and panicked with a full crew or if they stayed calm they gave the orders to have the ship evacuated, lost the ship and the bridge crew that stayed behind to deflect fire but saved at least 90% of the rest of the crew members. That was meant to be the best possible outcome. That had been the outcome of the most famous crisis command decision ever made, the Kelvin. Spock suddenly remembered what Chris had told him, this young man was the son of George Kirk, born in the middle of the destruction of the Kelvin. Still that was a mute point. How had he taken down the klingon shields. It had to have been connected to the computer disruptions and Spock would not stop until he knew how and what had been done to his simulation.

"All ships destroyed, Captain."

"Begin rescue of the stranded crew."

The captain stood up and turned to look directly up at the observation window.

" So! We've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway.

Commander Jackson Looked directly at Spock.

"How the hell did that kid beat your test?"

"I do not know."

But he intended in finding out.

* * *

The next day

Spock sat at the desk in his apartment his fingers steeped in front of him as he looked down at the printout. It was a three-meter folded sheet, mostly a long list of numbers, coded directions and the odd I thrown in. He had found the point where the simulation code had separated from what he had written. There were many different ways to write computer codes, they were all similar enough that the computers would be able to identify them but different enough that Spock believed he maybe able to identify where the codes accent. It was tedious work, the code was similar to his own, he circled the slight differences with a pen every time he came across one hoping they would help him decode the message but even though it seemed familiar to him the answer remained just outside his reach.

He turned around as he heard the door open and gave a sharp nod to Nyota as she walked in then turned his attention directly back to the printout. He knew he was almost at the answer, the accent was very similar to his, another Vulcan, somebody who was familiar with his work or his fathers who had taught him. A part of his mind was aware of Nyota in the kitchen; she was always quiet when he was concentrating on a task. He was woken from his deep concentration when a mug appeared next to him; he smelt hot apricot and ginger tea. He looked up at Nyota.

"Thank you."

" Do you want to talk about it?" She asked leaning against the edge of the sofa.

" About what?"

"About why you seem..peeved."

" I am not peeved."

Nyota crossed her arms and stared at him. After a minute he sighed.

" I am slightly peeved." He admitted.

"You were in the Kobayashi simulation yesterday afternoon, you know why."

He felt a very strange sensation as if a part of his mind had suddenly had the lights turned off. Nyota was deliberately blocking something from him.

Spock stared directly at her. She looked away guiltily.

" You need to practice doing that, for one it's very obvious when you do. Two you're likely to give me a headache if you don't learn to be a little gentler."

" I'm sorry."

"What do you know?"

"Spock...don't ask me."

Spock found himself standing up, he folded his arms behind his back to hid the fact that they were tremblingly slightly as they always did when he was trying to suppress anger.

" Why are you protecting James Kirk?"

Nyota it seemed had no problems with letting her anger show.

" I am not protecting Jim Kirk. I would not protect Jim Kirk."

"Then who are you protecting?" He said having trouble keeping his voice at it's usual volume. But as he said the words he realized whom it was she was protecting. It all made sense; he didn't know why he hadn't realized it before. The reason the subroutine looked like his own coding was because somebody he himself had taught wrote it. The person had been able to get through his security systems because he had given them the passwords to get through them. Cadets Christophe, Zami and Gaila. There was only one Nyota would protect.

Spock took a deep breath and felt most of his anger fade away; Nyota was only protecting her friend because it was in her nature to do so. He placed his hands on her shoulders gently.

" Nyota, I would have figured it out without you eventually. Why did Gaila install a subroutine into my simulation?"

Nyota sighed.

"She does stupid stuff sometimes."

" The incidences of Gaila's stupidity have been too often to fall into the category of sometimes. "

" The boy who was with Gaila when I walked in on them last week was Jim Kirk. I've seen them whispering together in the dining hall several times over the last week. I thought they were hatching some kind of plan but I was under the impression it would just be some kind of harmless prank. I didn't know they were going to damage academy property."

" They did not just damage property, James Kirk cheated on an academic test. "

" Your test." Nyota whispered.

" Yes, but this is an academy matter not a personal matter. Why would Gaila do this? She is one of my best students, she is on the path to a good career in star fleet, being caught cheating would at best put a permanent mark on her record and at worst led to permanent suspension."

"Can you help her?"

" Perhaps."

Spock did not know whether it was worth helping her, he had given her a rare opportunity and she had used it to cheat. He knew she was Nyota's friend and he felt glad that she was a friend to Nyota but this was a betrayal not only to him but to Star Fleet itself.

"As a favor to me." Nyota said placing her hand on his cheek.

"Tell me why she did it."

"She thought she was in love with him, he can be very charming when he wants something."

" He was using her. "

Nyota nodded slowly.

" He asked her questions about the work she was doing on the Kobayashi Maru and they designed the subroutine together. She thought it was just as an exercise, she was a little concerned when he asked her if she knew how to install it. She does regret it Spock, once she found out he had used it to cheat she regretted it. She was crying all last night, I've never seen Gaila cry over a boy. Love makes people do stupid things."

" Yes. It does."

Spock turned away from Nyota her face weakened his resolve.

"Spock, what will happen to her?"

" You need to convince her to write a full confession detailing James Kirks involvement and the fact she didn't know how he was going to use it. Also a full written apology, she nee to uninstall the subroutine under my supervision as it will take me longer to do it on my own and she will submit herself to any punishments or restrictions the fleet sees fit."

" She won't write a confession unless she knows they'll be lenient on her."

Spock turned to face Nyota.

" If she writes the confession then I will speak on her behalf recommending that she is not put in front of the board for suspension and that the incident be removed from her record after several years of incident free service."

Nyota nodded her expression grave but thoughtful.

"I have a duty to Star Fleet as well as to you. I cannot in all good conscience ignore her involvement in this. This is the best course of action for her Nyota."

" I'll get her to write the confession. Thank you Spock."

Spock nodded, he took a step towards Nyota and placed a kiss on her temple.

"Nyota, I wish to meditate."

" Okay. I'm going to go talk to Gaila."

Spock kissed her goodbye and went to fold himself onto his meditation mat, the last two days had arisen a Varity of emotions he felt he needed to be rid of.

* * *

Rom Mu-Yor Petakov- good night darling.

Obviously reviews are smiled upon.


	45. The ring

Again a chapter much later than I thought, there will be one day when I actually get something up at the time I plan to get it up. Seeing as I have now finished uni and moved just over three hundred miles and unpacked I now have no excuses not to update regularly.

* * *

The ring.

Wednesday 2nd week of March

" You're angry." Chris said staring across the table at Spock. It was over their usual Wednesday night drink and for once Chris had chosen somewhere away from the usual student haunts. It was neat and tidy and even though there were many occupants it was still quiet and not boisterous, all of which were things Spock approved of.

Spock starred over his glass of ginger beer at Chris. Anger was illogical, it served no purpose. Cadet Kirk had merely .. arose something in him that he had not felt since he was a child, that feeling he used to get when the other Vulcan children used to tease him. He remembered how that had ended, but he was more in control of his emotions now than he was as a child. Irritation, that was what he was feeling, irritation and frustration which he supposed could be mistaken for anger. Of course he felt it was better to be frustrated and irritated than angry, but they were still illogical feelings. He had been having a lot more of those illogical feelings lately. Perhaps it was time to try a more advanced and effective type of meditation.

" I am not angry." He answered quietly.

" Sure you're not." Chris said goading him.

" Christopher, I am not angry. I will admit to negative ..emotions towards the cadet. Given his conduct he does not belong in Star Fleet."

Chris slammed his glass down on the table hard enough for it to make a clunking noise.

" I will admit the boys got himself into trouble this time.. and several times in the past but when I recruited him it was because I saw something in him. Something that Star Fleet is currently lacking." Chris was now leaning forwards slightly his voice slightly strained with what Spock took to be annoyance. He rarely annoyed Chris. " And I still see that in him, in fact it probably led to the trouble he's in now. He's father had it too"

" From what I have heard of George Kirk and what I have learnt of James Kirk I do not see how they have anything in common."

" George Kirk is a hero, do you know why he is a hero?"

" He took the mostly logical action to save the highest number of lives."

" He sacrificed himself for the people he loved. He did what any good man would do. But he also sacrificed himself for his crew, he knew that the course of action he took would kill him but he did it anyway. He thought outside the box and refused to give in even to a vastly superior and unknown ship. Jim Kirk has that same quality, the ability to think outside the box and to never give up, and hopefully he will use those attributes in a command position to the advantage of his crew and the federation."

" So far he has used those so called attributes to cheat. And he will face the consequences of his actions. I doubt given the current situation that he will make it to a command position at any time in the near future."

" It would be a waste.."

" He has chosen to waste his own talents, it is not my doing, however much your tone seems to suggest that I am the cause of this I am not. The cadet has excellent grades and is more than competent in many areas but he has a discipline problem and makes poor choices, those are the qualities that make him an unsuitable command candidate."

Chris downed the rest of his whisky and stood up.

" Well I see I won't be able to change your mind. Goodnight Spock."

He turned on his heel and left Spock sitting at the table alone.

* * *

Thursday

Spock was collecting the last of the evidence he needed to present to the academy board when the com rung. He checked his watch, he had three minutes to answer the com otherwise he would be late. He switched on the screen to show the familiar face of his mother. She smiled fondly at him as always.

" Hello mother."

" Hello son."

" Mother, is this an emergency?"

" No, just ringing my son."

" May I ring you back? I am required at an academy board meeting."

Her smile flickered slightly.

" Okay, I love you son."

" Goodbye mother."

Spock turned off the screen put the notes in his over shoulder bag and set off across the campus to the board room in the oldest building of the academy.

* * *

The five members of the board sat looking gravely at the PADD's he had placed in front of them. He had been in the board room for exactly twenty-three minutes, because Gaila had confessed all he had to do was present a print out of his original programming and Kirk's programming, then a recording of what had happened when the programming had kicked in. Spock had presented the evidence to the board and they had now been sat staring down at the PADD's in silence for sixty four seconds.

" Well commander Spock, this is a very serious matter. I will set an academy hearing for Monday. Can I ask commander Spock, in your opinion what punishment would you find suitable for cadet Kirk?" Admiral Barret asked him.

" Academic suspension." Spock said without missing a beat.

" We will take your opinion into account. You are dismissed."

" Thank you for your time."

* * *

That evening

Spock was cooking when he heard the door to his apartment swish open.

"Spock." Nyota's familiar and loved voice called.

He placed the knife he was using to cut vegetables down and crossed the kitchen to peak out of the door just as Nyota tried to walk through it ending in the both of them having to stop themselves rather quickly to avoid walking head first into each other. They managed to stop with their bodies almost touching and the closeness immediately made Spock feel out of breath. He looked down at her feeling himself tumbling into warm amber eyes, he pulled his glare away only to find it settling again on her slightly parted moist pink lips. He swallowed, Nyota smiled and then he felt a wealth of sensations tingling up his arm, he glanced down already knowing that she had touched her fingertips lightly to the back of his hand. She leaned forwards, closing the space between them and pushing her body into his so he could feel the soft curves of her breasts against his chest, and the flatness of her stomach against his. He allowed his eyes to shut wanting to lose himself entirely in what he knew must follow. He felt her cool breath tickle against his awaiting lips allowing him to part them slightly a spilt second before she pressed her lips to his. The kiss started gentler but thoroughly, soft pressure and little nibbles. Spock felt his control start to waver, he wanted more but he also wanted to just surrender himself entirely to her, allow her to take the lead and follow her whims. Seemingly sensing his need for more Nyota pushed herself more firmly against him and brushed her tongue against his bottom lip requesting entrance, Spock replied enthusiastically.

_**Kipenzi.**_

Her voice in his mind was full of desire, like a deep throated moan that reverberated around his mind sending a thrill of pleasure right to his groin.

_**I love you so much Kipenzi.**_

This time it was like the sweetest soothing whisper. Their kiss slowed and she pulled away for a moment. Spock opened his eyes to find her full of desire and panting for breath. His fingers reached for her face without him really thinking about it, she was just to beautiful for him not to touch. He ran a finger down the smooth skin of her cheek.

" My Nyota." He whispered reverently. Nyota smiled widely, that beautiful uninhibited smile she seemed to save just for him. She reached down and took his hand gently tugging him towards the bedroom.

* * *

Some time later

Nyota had her head resting directly above his heart, he had never told her but he adored it when she did that because her long silky hair draped downwards to tickle across his hips. He felt sated and drowsy as his fingers drew ancient Vulcan symbols across the bare skin of her upper arm which she had stretched across his chest. Their bond was always more powerful after love making and through it he could feel her sleepy contentment. There was a loud rude grumble and Spock looked down surprised at the interruption to their quiet moment. Nyota buried her face in his stomach.

"Sorry." She groaned.

Spock found something rather unusual happening, he was making a noise, he couldn't help it, the moment was just... humorous. He was chuckling, he had heard Chris do it enough times to recognize it. He found himself copying Nyota by burying his head in the pillow. When he had managed to get control of himself he looked up again to find Nyota smiling widely at him.

" I assume from the noise your stomach just made that you are hungry."

" I assume from the noise you just made that you're amused."

Spock tried to fight the corners of his lips from twitching up but lost.

Nyota wiggled up his body and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

" I've never heard you laugh before, it's beautiful."

Spock smiled down at her.

" Vulcans do not laugh."

" I am glad that you do though."

" It has been a long time since I was relaxed enough in anybodies presence to laugh."

She kissed him again quickly.

" How long?" She asked wrapping her legs over his.

" I estimate twenty-three years."

" You havn't laughed since you were two?"

" I do not recall having done so."

Nyota rested her head against his chest again.

" Spock." She mutter after forty-two seconds.

" Yes."

" Please don't leave it another twenty-three years before you laugh again."

" I do have you to amuse me now."

She playfully swatted him on his arm, the moment was again interrupted by her stomach rumbling. Spock smiled widely and sat up forcing Nyota to move off him.

" Shall we continue this conversation in the kitchen?"

Nyota nodded enthusiastically. Spock pulled on his discarded trousers as she pulled her dressing gown out of the cupboard and wrapped it around herself,.

They headed to the kitchen together, Spock stood in front of the replicator.

" What would you like?"

" Hmm, something cheesy."

" Macaroni cheese?"

" Um.."

" Or cheesy potatoes, cheesy leeks, fish with cheese sauce?"

" Cheesy potatoes with..vegetables and mixed beans."

Spock typed in the various codes for what she had asked, having to quickly look up the codes for mixed beans that was in the small handbook that was kept in a draw underneath the replicator's slots. He ordered two and watched as behind the opaque grey guard the shadow of a tray with a steaming square dish and two small round bowls materialized. When the replicator buzzed he slid open the guard and placed the slightly warm tray on the table in front of Nyota. He shut the guard again and waited for his meal to appear. When it was ready he sat down across from her and started eating.

" Nyota." He asked. " How Is Gaila?"

She glanced up at him.

" She got a warning, a note added to her record and a hundred hours junk yard service. "

" An original idea for a punishment."

" It was Hatair's idea."

" That is what I expected. She should be satisfied with that outcome, it could have been very different."

" I think she's just glad that she wasn't suspended from the academy."

They stopped talking until he'd finished eating. He took Nyota's plate and placed them back into the replicator pressing the dis-integrator button.

" I hear you have an early final in April."

" Yes."

" How's the preparation going?"

Nyota sighed.

" At the moment the work seems unending."

" It will end, in two months one day and twenty-two hours you will have completed the last of the academy exams."

" I know. I wonder if I'll be relieved or sad." Her tone was sad. He walked up behind her and rested his hand on her shoulder hoping she'd see it as the act of support that he meant it to be. He didn't know what to say so he changed the topic.

" You will have a longer summer this year. I am aware that you will want to spend time with your family but perhaps during the middle of the summer period you would like to travel. You may be away from earth for a while, if there anything you wish to see or do on earth then we can do it together this summer."

He felt her excitement brimming up but she kept it contained.

" That's a brilliant idea,I'd like to go to Asia, we could visit the Leshan giant Buddha. And I'd like to see Vesuvius or the ruins of Atlantis. "

" I can organize that."

She smiled and stood up.

" Do you want to watch a film?"

" If you wish."

He followed her into the front room where he sat down, Nyota walked around for a moment putting a movie disk in. She settled down next to him leaning her body into his.

" I'm so tired." She muttered. Spock kissed her forehead as the film came on, it was some kind of romance, Spock tried to concentrate on it but could not find it interesting in any way. He lazily stroked his fingers through Nyota's hair. He was about to ask her if she'd like to visit Vulcan again in the summer but stopped himself realizing that her breathing had slowed. He looked down and saw that her features had softened and relaxed into sleep. He felt a kick in his stomach as his heart missed a beat. He stood up slowly so as not to wake her and slid his arms under her knees and around her back lifting her with ease. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed, he didn't put the covers on her because he knew the room was warmer than she preferred and he did not want her to overheat. He sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep for a few minutes enjoying the stillness of her mind. His own mind had rarely been calm within the last few weeks so he found himself wanting to sink into Nyota's calming relaxed mind. As to do that without her permission was an invasion of privacy and generally considered very impolite even between bondmates he decided to take some time to meditate before bed. He felt a ping of regret as he left Nyota asleep on his, their bed and went into his meditation room.

* * *

Friday morning

Spock was finding himself come back out of his mind gently coming back to consciousness. He was first aware of the smell of the slow burning Vulcan salts, the spices and tangyness familiar to him since his youth. He came to rather quickly when he heard the door jitter slightly as it opened. He opened his eyes to see Nyota stood rather uncomfortably in the doorway. She had still not become comfortable coming into his mediation space and Spock had to wonder if she ever would.

" Sorry." She said quietly turning as if to leave.

" Nyota, I thought you were sleeping."

" It's morning. I was just wondering where you were, have you been meditating all night?"

Spock was not shocked that he had in fact been meditating all night. He felt a calmness and togetherness that he rarely experienced without a full six hours mediation.

" Yes." He answered unfolding his slightly aching legs.

Nyota gave a short nod.

" Are you okay?" She asked after a moment.

" Yes." Spock said standing up. " It is a different meditation technique to that which I usually use, I withdrew deeper into my mind than I normally do. I felt it necessary as I have been experiencing more negative emotions than I usually experience." He felt no discomfort admitting the existence of his emotions to her, after all he was sure she could sense most of them.

Nyota took a slow step into the room and approached him placing a sweet kiss on his cheek.

" It will all be over soon." She said.

* * *

Sunday

Spock walked through the stalls of the large department store that was at the centre of San Francisco. It was the same store that he had attained Nyota's earrings and it was here that he delivered the two stones he had purchased and a drawing to have made up by their jewellery maker who after several interweb searches he had discovered was the best in the city and open to making individual requested pieces. Today he was here to pick up his engagement ring.

He took the elevator up to the correct floor and headed to the jewellery section. The man on the desk remembered him.

" Ah Mr. Spock. Your piece is finished. It's in the back, I'll just be a moment."

Spock nodded. He examined the other rings in the glass case below the counter as waited. All the rings contained in it were engagement rings. Some he could admit to being aesthetically pleasing but none of them were correct for Nyota, eighty-seven percent of them contained only a diamond the others diamonds and various other jewels. One caught his eyes, it contained a diamond and two small rubies that were on either side of the diamond. It was probably the closest thing he would have found to what he wanted if he had not decided to have the ring designed himself. The assistant came out, he placed a small black box on the glass top and slowly opened it. The ring inside was more than aesthetically pleasing it was beautiful. The Vulcan sun stone shone as if it had a tiny light set in it's centre, much brighter and perfect a red than any ruby. It was cut into the shape of a tear drop with the point narrowed to fit perfectly around the diamond as if the dark light was protecting the more delicate white light, hugging it close. The band was a pure gold with a delicate filigree swirling around the stones holding them firmly in place.

" Is it how you wanted it?" The assistant asked.

" Yes." Spock answered simply.

* * *

Spock looked down at the ring for the fifth time since getting back to his apartment. It really was exactly as he had wanted it, the delicate golden webbing that intertwined the Earth diamond and the Vulcan sun stone together was a perfect representation of their telepathic bond, delicate and fine but strong, permanent and shining. He could imagine perfectly the moment of proposal, staring up at Nyota's face from bended knee. He imagined her to look slightly surprised, after all, in his culture they were already married. But it was important that they were also considered married in her culture as well. It was important for her to know that he would never leave her again. He reluctantly closed the lid of the little box. He dropped it into the little black velvet and placed it into the top draw of his bedside cabinet. Everything was planned, the restaurant, the pavilion on the water with the live band they could dance to. The old fashioned white car he would drive up to the bridge to see the stars reflected on the river and wait so that just when the sun inched it's way over the horizon and everything was bathed in golden light... what happened if she said no? Why was he even considering that he knew she wouldn't say no. They were already connected so she couldn't say no. Now all that was left to do was to ask Nyota to come with him. What if she said no to that? Could he rearrange it all for another night? He was sure he could.

Spock went into his front room and pressed down on the little button on the coffee table that made the com system rise up out of it's hidden compartment. He felt his fingers trembling as he typed in Nyota's number. He took a deep breath as the unit connected and he waited for it to be answered. H could not understand why he felt this tension. It was a very good thing that after two and a half years of being in a relationship with Nyota he still felt so deeply. He had no reason for nervousness. Even if she did refuse they would still be connected. But he did have some excitement at the idea of saying to the world she is mine and I am hers and it shall be that way for the rest of our lives. As long as they both knew that it was fine but if everybody else knew, well that was just a plus. And he expected that she would be happy and making her happy was satisfying. The thought of making her happy was exciting.

The screen lighted up and Spock began to smile, which stopped the instant he saw Gaila on the screen.

" Hello Gaila. Is Nyota in?"

" She's out. I don't know when she'll be back."

Spock nodded, he would send her a written message and call again later just to be sure he got the message to her before the day was out.

" Very well. Are you well?" He asked out of politeness.

" Yeah, thank you for your advice with.. you know.. the Kirk matter."

Spock was about to say that she was welcome but should remember to be cautious from now on and to always keep in mind the lesson that she had learnt when he heard a noise coming from on screen, it sounded like the electronic door. Gaila turned to look off screen to her left.

" Oh that's Nyota, Ny it's lover boy."

Spock frowned slightly. Gaila disappeared from the screen and Nyota walked into he shot. She looked tired.

" Nyota, you are showing signs of tiredness."

" I am tired. I was studying for the finals. I know there's still eight weeks to the bulk of them start but I want to be prepared."

" I wouldn't expect any less from you and the extra preparation is likely to serve you well."

" I hope so."

" I called to ask you on a date. The day after tomorrow the academy will have ruled on what actions to take against cadet Kirk. I believe you are also free, you do tend to come to our apartment on Thursday nights."

Nyota smiled.

" Yes. I'm free. So when you say date I guess you mean going out?"

" Yes I have picked a restaurant, please choose an outfit you would be comfortable dancing in."

" We're going to dance?" Nyota said excitedly, Spock allowed himself a moment to take in the little shine in her eyes that always came when she smiled. They had only danced together once and Spock knew that the moment had meant a lot to Nyota.

" Yes." Spock said with a small quirk of his lips.

" It sounds great Spock, I can't wait."

" I am glad, I shall allow you to rest now. Take care Ashaya."

" Goodnight kipenzi."

* * *

Monday

Spock took his seat in the main hall five minutes in advance of the stated start time. E-mails had gone out requesting the presence of all the third year students in the hall. With the exams coming up they were planing on giving a strong message to any cadet planing on taking the easy way out. Not that cheating on an academy exam was all that much easier. He noted Nyota's presence when she walked into the room she walked close to Gaila and sat next to her. He watched the rest of the student file in, the room quieted significantly when the five members of the academic board filed in, Barret taking the middle seat.

Spock watched as the meeting was called into session and Kirk was called to the front. He would have been forewarned by E-mail but he still seemed to visibly blanch. Everything was going exactly as Spock had expected it to go until Cadet Kirk said something.

" I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly."

Spock had known that this was a possibility and had prepared for it but he hadn't actually expected Kirk to call him. Spock stood and tugged down the stiff formal uniform he wore, they were badly designed and it had a habit of working it's way upwards as he sat.

" This is commander Spock, he is one of our most distinguished graduates. He has programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years." Barret introduced him

Kirk's head swivelled and met Spock's eyes for a brief second.

Spock walked slowly down the stairs and stood behind a podium exactly seven feet away from Kirk's.

" Cadet Kirk you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code. Therefore changing the conditions of the test." Spock said, leaving Gaila out of it as Nyota had wished, seeing as she had confessed and accepted her punishment there was no point reason to embarrass her further.

" Your point being?" Kirk said with what Spock was starting to realize was his permanent cockiness.

" In academic vernacular you cheated."

"Let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinable."

" Your argument precludes the possibility of a non-win scenario."

" I don't believe in no win scenarios."

" Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principal."

"Please, enlighten me?"

Kirk's voice revealed some stress and even though Spock kept his hands firmly folded behind his back and did not raise his voice above it's normal tone he still felt some irritation at Kirk.

" You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk, the captain cannot cheat death."

" I of all people?"

" Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action did he not?

**Spock! **Nyota's voice sounded shocked in his mind, he felt the small feeling of disapproval filter through to him.

**Do not distract me.**

He blocked the link off from her.

" I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test."

Spock said, now having trouble keeping the anger out of his voice. It was anger, he felt it rising like a tide and he didn't know why Kirk was making him so angry but he couldn't seem to suppress it.

" Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test."

" Enlighten me again."

" The purpose is to experience fear, fear in the face of certain accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and ones crew. This is a quality expected in every star fleet captain." Before Kirk could answer they were both distracted by a messenger entering the room and approaching Admiral Barret.

" Excuse me sir." A notice was handed to Barret.

Jim looked over at Spock as Barret read the note, Spock raised his eyebrow.

" We've received a distress call from Vulcan."


	46. mother

_hey guys, so we're onto the film and we all know what happens in the film right? Or do we? Keep reading because I've added a few new scenes (especially in the chapter after this one) and a new ending, and a few little snippets of what I think the future holds for Spock and Nyota after the film ends._

* * *

Spock's hand reached out to the empty space in front of him. He stepped forwards looking down at the glowing dome, empty. The pad was empty. He turned to look at his father and saw confirmation in his eyes. The universe still existed. Space and time still move intimately entwined, but she was gone.

* * *

Spock took the list from the commander as he exited the hall, he read the emergency briefing as he walked to the shuttle pad, Vulcan, his home planet was suffering from seismic activity and had sent out a distress call. It had to be a lot of seismic activity to cause the council to ask for federation help. All planets have a lifeline, they are all born and they all die, but Vulcan was at least two billion years of that point, it should not show seismic activity, there had been no large solar flares that could set off seismic activity in one thousand two hundred and three years two months and twenty six days. There were several large volcano complexes on Vulcan but they were dormant, there was a possibility of them coming out of dormancy with very little warning signs though. It was a very small possibility but tout of all of those that Spock could immediately come up with it was the most likely. He made a mental list of duties as he reached the entrance to the shuttle pod. He quickly picked out the group of science cadets only a few meters from the entrance he walked over to the group and loudly cleared his throat to get their attention. All as one they turned to him hands folded behind their backs, it was a sign of a good disciplined group he approved. Spock started to read out the names and designations of science teams. The list had been drafted in case of emergencies when the main armada were to far away to reach the planet in distress (such as this one) to assign final year students to to ships. He had completed one such list himself for linguistic students before the start of the year. As he finished reading off the list and said dismissed he heard Nyota in his mind.

**SPOCK!**

She was angry and he knew that it was due to him assigning her to the Farragut all those months ago. It had been an emotional act as he had felt at the time that he could not have functioned correctly with her on board. That had been around the time of his visit to Vulcan when he'd wanted to undergo Kohlinahr. He would have changed it but he had not seen the need as just after graduation he would have to go over those list again and either confirm or rearrange their placements. To have changed it would have drawn a lot of attention and he needed to avoid attention being drawn to him and Nyota. He headed to the nearest computer terminal to check which shuttle he had been assigned to. He heard her wide stride behind him.

"Commander a word?" Her voice was tense.

"Yes Lieutenant"

"Was I not one of your top students? "

"Indeed you were."

**Nyota, you should board your designated shuttle.**

He walked away from her heading to his shuttle. She followed him, unconsciously two steps behind him.

"And did I not on multiple occasions demonstrate acceptable oral sensitivity, and I quote an unparalleled ability to identify sonic anomalies in subspace transmission tests.

"Consistently yes."

He turned to face her.

"And whilst you are well aware of my unqualified desire to serve on the U.S.S Enterprise I'm assigned to the Farragut."

**Why did you do this Spock.**

Though her spoken voice was angry her mind was confused and hurt, he had to explain this.

As he took a quick look around to make sure that nobody was listening he spoke to her through their link.

**It was during the summer I did not change it as **

"It was an attempt to avoid the appearance of favouritism"

"No I'm assigned to the Enterprise."

He looked down into her eyes, he admired her determination, it was one of the many things he loved about her.

**You would have assigned me to the Enterprise even if we were not in a relationship, based upon my academic performance, admit it.**

Spock looked down at his pad and quickly typed in the commands to switch her name from one list to another.

"Yes I believe you are." He said allowed answering her last spoken comment.

"Thank you."

**I love you. **Her minds voice practically whispered.

* * *

Spock looked around as the shuttle bay cleared of people. It seemed everything was under control, it was time for him to leave. Time to go home.

"We're waiting on you commander." Spock turned around and nodded at the Ensign who was leaning out the shuttle door. He turned on his heels and walked up the three stairs of the shuttle bending his head as he entered and finding the one seat left. The cadets around him were a mixture of tense and excited. He closed his mind off to them and took a few deep breaths of the dry recycled air. He felt a slight tingle in the back of his mind and turned to look down the isle. Nyota was there looking directly at him.

**Are you alright?**

**Yes.**

**Spock?**

**Nyota, I must concentrate on clearing my mind before reaching Enterprise so I can do my duty.**

He saw Nyota give a slight nod and felt some kind of warmth come over him. He knew Nyota was trying to comfort him, he relented and took it in.

* * *

Spock handed a PADD of instructions to a yeoman to take to engineering.

"Engineer Denson says everything's ready to go when you are sir." She said as she received it.

"Thank you Yeoman, make sure he gets this as quickly as possible."

He walked into the turbo lift and tapped the screen ordering it to go to the bridge. In the few seconds of quietness he felt his mind wondering back to Vulcan and the dangers that it faced, had he overlooked a possibility? Was the planet beginning an early death and if the planet could not be stabilised how long would they have for the evacuation? How many lives would be lost?

The door clicked open and he shook himself from his thoughts and walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise for the first time. He had to concentrate on work he couldn't let the worry for his home interfere. It was there within him and he could admit it was there but he could not let it interfere with the job he had to do. After all a moments hesitation, something missed through distraction could cost multiple lives.

"Mr. Spock." Chris said loudly. The title from the familiar voice helped focus Spock. He was the second in command of the Enterprise and his friend was now Captain first, friend second.

He immediately turned on all his equipment, as he answered.

"Captain Engineering reports ready for launch."

"Thank you."

He turned in his seat, the science officers seat. All the equipment had been okayed by him, the seat made exactly for his height. This was going to be his place for the next few years, an idea that appealed to him with all the access to sensor arrays, mapping equipment, and the computers full of up to date databases. Information, passed and present at his fingertips.

Spock concentrated on typing in the set list of instructions he had to program into the computer for it to brought out of space dock safely as the Captain gave a short speech and the rest of the bridge crew underwent the multiple sequences needed to ensure the new ship was ready for warp.

Spock heard the captain give the command for maximum warp but Spock did not feel the slight second of dizziness that came with entering warp nor the sound of the warp-stream surrounding them. Instead there was a slight whirring sound and perfect stillness, he turned to look at the helmsman, the young man was tapping at the controls obviously trying to determine what had gone wrong.

"Lieutenant where is helmsman McKanna?" Chris asked patiently.

"He has lung worm, sir. He couldn't report to his post. I'm Hikaru Sulu." The young man announced confidently.

"And you are a pilot, right?"

"Very much so, sir. I'm uh, I'm not sure what's wrong here."

Chris shot Spock a quick look, Spock could understand his annoyance he too was desperate to get to Vulcan, of course Chris would never call a young man on his first real mission incompetent.

"Is the parking break on?"

"Uh No I'll figure it out. I'm just..."

"Have you disengaged the external inertial dampener?" Spock asked realizing the cause of the whirring sound. A mistake made easily from lack of experience.

The helmsman pushed a few buttons.

"Ready for warp, sir."

"Let's punch it."

This time they went into warp.

* * *

Spock was running a systems check when the bridge door opened, the hurried footsteps caught his attention, yeomen never ran.

"Captain! Captain Pike, sir.."

"Jim, come back here!"

Spock turned shocked to see Nyota on the bridge, as well as Kirk who wasn't even supposed to be on the ship and McCoy. . Kirk, damned him, is he completely without honour? Dragging Nyota into into whatever he was doing, he hoped it didn't affect her record. He couldn't imagine her getting herself deeply into anything Kirk would get himself involved in.

"We have to stop the ship!" Kirk shouted.

"Kirk, how the hell did you get on-board the Enterprise?" Chris asked. The disruption Kirk and McCoy were causing would waste valuable time, Spock stood up ready to step In when needed.

**Nyota? **He mentally asked for an explanation. He felt her rush towards him stopping a few feet away.

"Captain, this man is under the influence of a sever reaction to a vaccine." McCoy explained.

"Bones, please..."

"He's completely delusional and I take full responsibility."

"Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans." Kirk stated. Spock immediately considered the possibility, though Vulcan and Romulan relations had always been tense there had been no warnings, no threats, or border infringements. Vulcans were beyond Romulans in terms of technology so an attack was risky and therefore unlikely.

"Romulans? Cadet Kirk I think you've had enough attention for one take Jim back to medical. We'll have words later." Chris said dismissing him.

"Eye captain."

The captain turned his back on them, Spock stiffened ready to attack as Kirk moved towards the Captain in a possibly threatening way.

"Look sir that same anomaly that we saw today."

"Kirk!" Chris said, the young Man was ignoring direct orders and interfering with the bridge crews preparations to come out of warp.

Spock stepped forwards, it was time to intervene.

'Mr kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel captain. By regulations.."

"Look I get it. You're a great arguer." Kirk started to talk over him.

"That makes him a stowaway."

"I'd love to do it again sometime."

"I can remove the cadet."

"Try it!" Kirk turned to him aggressively.

"Kirk!" Chris shouted trying to regain control of the situation. Spock could feel his own control starting to slip. He was concerned for Vulcan, for his family and now Kirk was irritating him.

"This cadet is trying to save the bridge." Kirk shouted.

"By recommending a full stop mid-warp during a rescue mission?" It was a ridiculous statement.

Kirk turned to Captain Pike.

"Listen to me, it's an attack."

"Based on what facts?" Spock asked.

"That same anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth, before a Romulan ship attacked the U.S.S Kelvin. You know that, sir, I read your dissertation. That ship that had formidable and advanced weaponry, was never seen or heard from again."

Spock tried to push away his irritation. He couldn't let his emotions control him. He quickly considered the likelihood of an unknown anomaly appearing twice with the possibility that the lightning storm was some kind of manipulation of the space stream that allowed for travel over vast distances, he had never heard of any known civilization being close to that kind of technology.

"The Kelvin attack took place on the edge of Klingon space, and at 2300 hours last night, there was an attack. Forty-seven Klingon war birds destroyed by Romulans, sir, and it was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship." Kirk added.

Spock quickly added up the situation, it seemed to add up and explain how Vulcan could go Into seismic distress without any prior warning but Kirk's information could be wrong.

"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Chris asked.

Kirk turned to stare at Nyota. Spock knew the expression on her face the one where she was trying to decided between the lesser of two evils and knows either way she'll probably end up worse off. It only lasted a second. She took a deep breath.

"Sir, I interrupted and translated the message myself. Kirk's report is accurate."

"We're warping into a trap, sir." Kirk said.

Spock added the information up quickly, he ran formula's in his mind trying to work out the likelihood of certain situations.

"The cadets logic is sound. And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics we would be wise to accept her conclusion."

Chris's expression was grave.

"Scan Vulcan Space. Check for any transmissions in Romulan."

"Sir I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan." The Lieutenant on the com system answered.

Chris approach Nyota.

"What about you? Do you speak Romulan Cadet.." He hesitated, Spock knew it was because he usually calls her Mrs Spock.

"Uhura. All three dialects, Sir."

"Uhura relive the lieutenant."

Spock could feel Nyota's shock and slight worry.

**You are experienced enough to handle this situation. **Spock prompted her.

"Yes, sir." She answered Chris turning to sit herself at the communication console and immediately start altering the frequencies like the pro that she was.

"Hannity hail the U.S.S Trueman." Chris ordered.

"All the other ships are out of warp, sir, and have arrived at Vulcan, but we seem to have lost all contact." Hannity answered.

It was a bad sign it supports Kirk's theory.

"Sir I pick up no Romulan transmissions, or transmissions of any kind in the area." Nyota said her hand confusion coming through to Spock from their link. There were so many emotions flying around Spock's was having trouble separating them and concentrating on the situation at hand, it was the definite down side to being a telepath.

"It's because they're being attacked." Kirk said saying allowed what everybody was thinking.

All eyes watched captain he walked back to his seat.

"Shields up red alert." He announced calmly.

Spock could feel the oppressive worry of the rest of the ship, all feeling a collective sense of dread as they heard the red alert sound.

He shifted to face the view screen noting Kirk's presence besides him.

"Arrival in Vulcan in five seconds. " Sulu announced.

"Four, three, two."

Spock felt Kirk's eyes on him and turned to return the glance then hearing the whir of the ship dropping out of wrap flicked his attention back to the view screen. It took him a split moment to process what he was seeing in front of him, Huge metal shapes, torn apart, flashes of red fire, the whole armada destroyed. All his students on the other ships, all the other lecturers, all dead.

**God, there all gone.**

He doubted Nyota had meant her inner voice to be heard by him. As he saw a large piece of metal printed with the word Farragut floated pasted the screen he was struck with the thought that if she hadn't had demanded to be moved then she would ... he couldn't think it.

**Hold on Nyota.**

"Emergency evasive!" Chris shouted, no longer calm.

"On it Sir,."

Spock reached back to his station ready to help .

There was a blur of noises as Spock stared at the information streaming in front of him, Five ships, no escape pods, no life signs.

Spock was jerked to the side as the ship was hit, he heard clunking sounds as the ship was bombarded by debris.

"Damage report!"

"Deflector shields are holding."

"All stations! Engineer Olson, report!" Spock turned as he shouted. He saw that the ship was doing a full turn through the middle of some of the large pieces of debris but half a saucer, larger than the Enterprise herself heading towards them.

"Full reverse. Come about Starboard 90 degrees. Drop us down underneath them Sulu" The captain ordered.

There was another jerk that almost threw Spock from his seat there was the dreadful sound of mental rendering away from the ship, Spock knew that meant, there was a definite hull breach and anybody within that section would have been immediately killed by the pressure, suffocated or dragged into space.

His instruments located a working ship within the debris but he size of it was completely wrong, the sensors must have been out. He turned to look to the view screen. He felt immediately cold as if somebody had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over him. There was a massive ship, unlike anything he had ever seen before hanging in the atmosphere over Vulcan. It seemed like there was some kind of metal implement hanging down towards the planet. He turned his attention back to the consul, he knew he had to concentrate. Within two seconds of looking back to the consul a warning flashed up on screen.

"Captain, they're locking torpedoes." Spock shouted.

"Divert auxiliary power from port nacelles to forward shields."

He saw the missiles on his radar screen, they missed the ship by mere meters as Sulu swivelled the ship. Then they were hit. Spock could not help glancing around to look for Nyota to check he was alight. Three others had been knocked clear from their chairs but were still conscious, Nyota was bracing herself against the consul her head down. He could feel her fear but it only took him seconds for her to straighten herself and continue working. Spock looked back to his consul. Level five had been hit the blast doors had closed in a matter of seconds but still half a deck had been taken destroyed. The ship was still structurally secure for now . Spock looked at the sensor data in front of him trying to figure to figure out why they were not picking up any kinds of transmissions, not even background noise from Vulcan.

"Sulu status report."

"Shields at 32%. Their weapons are powerful, sir. We can't take another hit like that. "

"Get me Star Fleet command."

"Captain the Romulan ship has lowered some kind of high-energy pulse device into the Vulcan atmosphere Its signal appears to be blocking our communications and transport abilities." Spock said realizing what was wrong with the transmissions.

"All power to forwards shields. Prepare to fire all weapons."

"Captain we're being hailed." Nyota said standing up to see the screen.

Spock turned to see the screen fill with a face. It was definitely a Romulan face the tribal tattooing and slightly pointed ears revealed that. The final confirmation of Kirk' s theory, apparently the young man wasn't as gormless as he seemed.

"Hello." The Romulan said.

Captain Pike stood up.

"I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To Whom am I speaking?"

"Hi, Christopher. I'm Nero." The Romulan answered in a casual conversational tone. The use of the word Hi revealed that he was actually speaking standard and it was not the universal translator.

"You've declared War against the federation. Withdraw, I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location."

"I do not speak for the empire. We stand apart. As does your Vulcan crew member. Isn't that right, Spock?"

Spock stood up, he was completely confused. He was sure he had never met this Romulan before as he had in fact never met a Romulan before. Vulcans and Romulans although at one time part of the same race had gone their separate ways thousands of years previously. Where Vulcan's embraced logic Romulans had kept to their previous volatile nature. The two peoples regarded each other with quiet respect but kept their distance. He wondered how it was possible that a Romulan knew his name and of his presence on the ship. Although he was the first Vulcan to enter into Star Fleet and he was a respected scientist and son of an Ambassador it was still strange that anybody outside the federation would know his name and placement.

"Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted."

"We're not. Not yet."

Spock considered this, there were two either meant them to be acquainted, or that the ship was from a different time. It definitely had advance weaponry and there was the unexplained phenomenon. But it was still an illogical conclusion it was more likely that the former was true. Unfortunately Spock did not think he was going to enjoy their acquaintance.

"Spock there's something I would like you to Pike your transporter has been disabled. As you see by the rest of your Armada, you have no will man a shuttle craft and come aboard the Narada for is all."

There was a moment of tense silence as the screen went blank.

"He'll kill you. You know that." Kirk said.

"Your survival is unlikely." Spock said, his mind tried to search for an alternative solution. If he watched him leave the Enterprise their was a good chance he wouldn't see him again. He didn't want to work out the percentages of each possibility, the knew they wouldn't be in Chris's favour. Chris looks directly at Spock. It was a look that said a lot but Spock wasn't sure he could translate it properly. He wanted to reach out, he wanted to ask him not to go but he was a captain, he lived to do his duty and would do anything to protect the people on his ship, even if it meant giving his life for a temporary and untrained crew.

"Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a mistake." Kirk said.

"I, Too agree. You should rethink your strategy."

Please, my friend, don't do this. Spock thought, wishing that for once his telepathy was powerful enough for Chris to hear him.

"I understand that." Chris answered Kirk." I need officers who've been trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat.'

"I have training Sir." the navigator said.

"Come with me." Chris said."Kirk, you too. You're not supposed to be here anyway." He walked towards the turbo lift, Spock followed him, if Chris was going that meant he was going to be in charge of the Enterprise and he needed to get his instructions from Chris.

"Checkov you have the con." Chris said as the turbo lift doors closed.

"Aye-Aye Captain."

Their was a tense silence in the turbo lift as it went down, Chris seemed deep in thought but when the doors opened he came back to life with his usual energy and determination.

"Without transporters, we can't beam off the ship, we can't assist Vulcan, we can't do our jobs." He stated.

Spock realizes Chris was sacrificing himself to give the possibility of helping Vulcan. As captain, he always kept their last direct orders in mind even in a crisis.

"Mr Kirk, Mr Sulu, Engineer Olson will space-jump from the shuttle. You will land on that machine they've lowered into the atmosphere that's scrambling our gear. You'll get inside, you'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship."

Spock glances back at them, he wondered if the fate of a planet and a federation ship could really be put in the hands of a young man on academic suspension and one who forgot to turn off the external inertial dampener

"Mr. Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the enterprise." Spock gave a short nod, he was next in command so it was obvious, though rules stated it had to be stated.

Though Spock was the first officer it would be the first time other than on training missions he had taken control of a ship of more than twenty people. But he believed that by always following the most logical course of action he would always be doing the right thing. Despite this as acting Captain he must follow orders. So he listened intently to Chris as he gave them.

"Once we have transport capability and communications back up, you'll contact star fleet and report what the hells going on here. And if all else fails fall back and rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system."

They were now at the turbo lift that went down to the shuttle bay.

"Kirk I'm promoting you to first officer." Chris said

Spock thought he might have misheard that final statement.

"What?"

"Captain?" Spock asked.

Chris gave a slight mischievous grin, even in the face of grave danger it seemed he kept that strange sense of humour.

"Please, I apologize, the complexities of Human pranks escape me." Spock said.

"It's not a prank, Spock. And I'm not the captain, you are."

Spock wondered if this was meant to be some kind of lesson.

"Lets go." Chris said.

Jim looks at Spock,cocky expression.

Chris Kirk and Sulu entered the lift.

"Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?" Kirk asked Chris.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to come and get me." Chris said quickly, he knew the possibility of that actually happening was quite low. "Careful with the ship Spock she's brand new."

Spock raised his eyebrow as he watched his friend disappear behind glass door. He was still so puzzled by Kirk being made second that that he didn't say goodbye to his only friend, or that trivial meaningless Human saying, good luck. He couldn't allow himself to worry about him now he has 412 other people he is now responsible for as well as being in charge of the last ship able to help Vulcan.

He paced quickly back to the bridge, making a short list in his mind of tasks he had to perform. As he entered the bridge he glanced back at his science station it was no longer his. He settled down into the Captains chair. He couldn't do anything for Vulcan until the Romulan machine was destroyed. Though this was no good thing it did allow him time to check on the status of the ship and it's crew.

**You're Captain? **He heard Nyota's voice in his mind.

**I am standing in as Captain until Chris returns. **He did not need to say that he did not think it likely that Chris would return and Nyota didn't push but he felt her worry for him.

Spock looked down at the buttons littering the armrest of the Captains chair, he found the com button.

"Doctor Puri, report."

"It's McCoy. Dr Puri was on deck 6. He's dead."

Doctor Puri had been the man who had saved his feathers life. Spock recalled the list of medical staff, McCoy was the next senior officer.

"Then you have just inherited his responsibility as chief medical officer." Spock informed him.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know."

"The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung."

Spock heard a mumbling that sounded like the word smart ass.

"Can you report on the number of dead and injured."

"Seven dead, three major injuries but likely to survive, and a handful of minor abrasions and broken bones."

"Thank you Doctor, continue."

Next he connected to engineering for a full maintenance report, the ship was capable of going to wrap and the shields were up another five percent. Though deck six would be blocked off until they could dock.

"Sir, the shuttle has cleared Enterprise airspace." An ensign told him. Spock could not remember the young man's name but he was now in charge of protecting his life.

"Thank you ensign, keep me updated on any news of the Captain vitals and the shuttles status.

He looked up at the view screen which had just switched form a view of the enemy ship to a strange landscape, the crust of Vulcan at the bottom a metal platform dangling thousands of meters and ending about a third of the way up the screen and as he watched three coloured circles, red, yellow and blue. The crew members who had been sent to interrupt the jamming signal, free-falling through space.

"Away team is entering the atmosphere, sir."

The young Russian genius Checkov told him.

"Twenty thousand meters."

There was nothing Spock could do but wait to see what the outcome of the mission was, though all around him was a bustle of noise as his bridge crew monitored various things, if he was at his science station then he would know precisely what was going on but as captain it was his job to receive the information, not gather it, and then make decision based upon that knowledge. He knew where he'd rather be.

"Approaching the platform at 5,800 meters. "

Kirk to Enterprise. Distance to target, 5,000 meters.

"Forty-six hundred meters from the platform." Checkov announced mere seconds later.

"Forty-five hundred meters to target." This was Sulu.

"Four thousand meters." Kirk again.

"Three thousand meters." Sulu shouted repeated a half second later by Olson.

"Two thousand meters." Kirk announced followed by Sulu. " Pulling Chute."

"Two thousand meters." The gruff voice Spock knew from elimination to be Olson said.

"Come on, pull your chute, Olson!"

Spock started to watch that red dot denoting Olson more closely. Kirk had not meant the message to be sent to the Enterprise but their helmets had been programmed to immediately broadcast everything and Nyota had put it on bridge speakers so Spock could know exactly what was happening.

"No, not yet! Not yet! 1,500 meters!" There was something frantic in his voice, a strange kind of excitement though if he opened the chute to late he would take the landing to fast and their was a possibility of missing the target or injuring himself. The man was not acting logically.

"Olson open your chute!"

Spock thought he heard a small inkling of command in that shout.

"Olson pull your chute!"

Spock heard a delighted laugh, perhaps the destruction of the secondary fleet and the loss of his classmates had driven the man to insanity.

'One thousand meters!" Olson cried.

"Olson!" Sulu's cry was heard throughout the bridge and thorough the corner of his eye Spock saw people swivelling in their chairs to watch the view screen as he little red circle blinked off.

"Ol..Olson is gone, sir!" Checkov said stuttering in shock

A needless loss of life, how could somebody be so careless anybody with even the most rudimentary knowledge of physics would know that at the speed he was falling he could not make a clean landing. He was that man's captain, he was responsible for that man's life but if he could not follow the simplest of commands, if he took risks for sudden influx of hormones, then how could Spock protect his life.

"Kirk has landed, sir." Checkov announced.

There were a tense few minutes, Spock could feel the joint emotions of his bridge crew. Underneath the worry and the fear their was a shocking hum of excitement. Just a few minds and only a small amount but it was their. Spock's planet was in an unknown danger, his friend was on a hostile alien ship, perhaps already dead, and the Humans minds were humming with excitement. Finally, Nyota's voice came clearly over the whispers of the rest of the bridge crew.

"The jamming signals gone, Transporter abilities are re-established."

"Transporter control is re-engaged sir." Checkov said. Kirk had somehow managed to perform his duty. Spock had been waiting for this, he knew the next step to take.

"Checkov run gravitational sensors I want to know what they are doing to the planet."

"Eye commander, ah captain, sorry captain."

"Kirk to enterprise they just launched something into the planet. through the hole they just drilled."

Spock could hear the sound of the bridge crews collective voices grow more frantic and louder, it did not bode well.

"Captain, gravitation sensors are off the scale, if my calculations are correct then their creating a singularity." Young Checkov turned to Spock, he felt that sinking sensation in his stomach, it seemed his brain froze. He could not think a single word, somewhere inside of him he knew what the next words were going to be but he could not admit it to himself.

"That will consume the planet." " They're creating a black hole at the centre of Vulcan." He needed the confirmation, it didn't seem like it could be true though logic told him it was a possibility and what is logic if not excepting and following the truth. Vulcan was going to be destroyed, all those lives, death screams, his parents, the culture all gone, he must save what can be saved.

"Yes sir."

"How long does the planet have ?"

"Minutes sir, minutes."

Spock stood, he knew he must go to Vulcan. He tried to think clearly as he walked but his brain felt as if surrounded by a thick milky liquid. His parents would be at the katric ark. Where all the knowledge of the ancients were kept. Their katras, the part of every Vulcan that remained after death was drawn their. He must save the elders who resided over and protected the mountain, saving them would save the essence of the Vulcan culture. He saw Nyota to the side of him.

"contact Vulcan command centre, order a planet wide evacuation. All channels all frequencies, maintain standard orbit ." Spock ordered before walking to the turbo lift.

"Spock wait." Nyota called. " Where are you going?"

He had to tell her, he could not disappear and leave his wife without telling her why.

"To evacuate the Vulcan high council they are tasked with protecting our cultural history. My parents will be among them."

"Can't you beam them out."

"It would be impossible they will be in the Katric arc, I must get them myself. Checkov, you have the con." The turbo lift door closed.

**I must save what I can. **Spock, communicated quietly to Nyota as the lift went down.

**Just come back.**

**I fully intend to.**

Spock pictured the Enterprise's schematics in his mind. He went down three floors to the deck where the main transporter was. To the side of the door to the transporter room there was a black glass pad. Spock pressed his palm against it, a white beam ran down the centre scanning his fingerprints.

" Hello Commander Spock." The computer's female voice announced as the wall panel slide open revealing rows of yellow combat belts, phasers, translators and communicators. He unhooked a yellow belt and again pressed his thumb to a small pad allowing him to unhook a phaser and communicator. As he turned into the transporter room he noted that Checkov was in the room, the thought that he was meant to have the con quickly flashed through his mind. Sulu and Kirk were spread out on the transporter. They were back but he needed them out the way.

" Clear the pad. I'm beaning to the surface." He fastened the belt around his waist. He quickly checked the phaser to make sure it was loaded properly.

Kirk Sulu gets up.

"The surface of what? Wait are you going down there? Are you nuts? Spock, you can't do that!"

Dawns on him he is leaving Kirk as captain of the enterprise

He positioned his body in a protective stance that would allow him to burst straight into a sprint when he got to the ground.

He might very well die, but he would die for the culture that spawned him. Though as he had told Nyota, he had every intention of surviving.

"Energise."

"Spock!"

he felt the familiar feeling of his atoms being disconnected it was like a tingling under his skin and a slight moment of blackness as if blinking. In front of him were the familiar mountains of his home, they were crumbling. He could see the katric ark in front of him a small archway in the side of the biggest mountain. He was running up the steep incline before his mind could tell his legs to do so. His footfalls felt heavy after so long on earths gravity. He reached the archway, he knew the route from a childhood visit. It took him twenty-three seconds to get through the long tunnel that opened out into the large room with it's high volted ceilings and massive statues of ancient philosophers and even older warriors. There was a group around the middle statue of Surek. They were using telepathy to connect to the katras of the greats ensuring they would not be destroyed.

As Spock ran up the steps he raised his arm to block some falling rocks from the crumbling ceiling. He saw his mother on the far side of the statue stand up.

"Spock!"

" The planet has only seconds left. We must evacuate." Spock said, the Vulcan elders managed to look shocked. Something briefly passed between them and they all turned to hurry towards the exit.

"Mother, now."

He reached for her hand, she was slower than the others but he ran besides her so that he could guard her.

He heard a great rumble and the floor shook. He heard a high pitched screech in his mind. He had never heard anything like it but he knew exactly what it was. A death scream, somebody had been hit by one of the great statues falling, through the small parental connections in his mind he knew it was not his father. There was no time to stop, he placed a comforting hand on his mothers back as they ran.

They were half way through the tunnel when their was another of those short mental screeches, all Vulcan being connected they could feel the deaths of those physically (and mentally) close to them. He had never expected the sensation to cause physical pain but it did, like a sharp splinter briefly poked into the mind. He could feel his mothers fear through their skin to skin contact. He was relieved when they came out of the tunnel into the sun. He kept running further towards the edge of the ledge. He had to get six feet away from the mountain to get a clear signal on the communicator due to the telepathic interference. He flipped it open.

" Spock to Enterprise. Get us out now."

"Locking volume. Don't move stay right where you are." The strong accented voice of Checkov answered him.

The scene in front of Spock was the worst thing he had ever seen. Magma bursting to the surface through cracked mantle, the whole world crumbling from inside out. His home, the familiar horizons of his youth, the place Nyota had said she loved him and the only place he had known as a child.

He felt a slight relief when the familiar tingling wrapped around and inside his body, but it lasted no more than half a second something flashed in his mind, a kind of warning that he was missing something very important. The vibrations he could feel beneath his feet was the base of the mountain crumbling. The ledge was about to fall away.

"Transport in five, four, three, two..."

He looked at his mother, she was too close to the edge, closer than him. He opened his mouth to warn her, to tell her to get away from the edge. She turned to look at him, her warm eyes met his with a look of knowing that instantly terrified him. He heard her scream before his eyes could tell him that she had disappeared from view.

"MOTHER!"

He reached for her.

His eyes are fixed on that space but their is that moment of darkness and then the hot air is cool and the red-light is whiter and his body feels less heavy. He knows he is on the Enterprise but the knowledge seems to filter through to him slowly as if he cannot quite fit everything together. His hand is reaching out to the empty space in front of him. He stepped forwards looking down at the glowing dome, empty. The pad was empty. He turned to look at his father and saw confirmation in his eyes. The universe still existed. Space and time still move intimately entwined, but she was gone. His mother was gone.

* * *

This was written in an extremely disjointed manner, did it still work out okay?


	47. The spaces that remain part 1

_This last month has been computer hell. My P.C. blew up taking my Star Trek D.V.D with it. Once fixed the internet went down, and stayed down. So I decided though no where near finished It was about time I put something up, so here we go with another split chapter. A difficult split chapter as well because a lot of what I've written is inside Spock's mind and the whole chapter despite being quite long actually only takes u about twenty minutes of real time. Here we go…_

* * *

The spaces that remain part 1

Spock felt his entire body go cold and numb. He looked around feeling lost Kirk and Sulu were still in the transport room. They looked at him with shock and pity, somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that Chekov who was at the transport controls looked devastated.

Spock took a minute to consider what he was going to say, his mind seemed to be working sluggishly. There was a pain and emptiness in his mind that felt like the worst headache he had ever experienced and behind that a loud roaring so he could barely hear what was going on. The death screams of millions of Vulcans at once. If he had been able to he would have thrown up. He felt a tide of grief wash over him, everything was lost.

Not everything he reminded himself.

_**Nyota, are you there?**_

_**Spock! Are you alright?**_

He could not answer her. But to know that their connection remained, that she was still his bondmate and she was at least safe and untarnished by the screaming that seemed to be growing lower as if coming to an end. It did not bring him relief; the end of that screaming meant the final death of Vulcan. But again, not all was lost, the elders were here. Vulcan culture could survive they would be weak but they would survive. He would not think of his mother. The Enterprise was still here, he had to take control of himself to take control of the Enterprise. Chris had trusted him; he had left him in charge of the Enterprise, responsible for the lives of four hundred and eleven other people.

"Kirk." He muttered.

"Yes."

"Show the elders to the medical bay. Sulu, get treated quickly I need you on the bridge."  
Spock folded his arms behind his back before turning to glance at his father. He looked at his chest rather than his face.

"I shall be on the bridge."

He turned to leave. He kept his eyes down as he walked. As he passed Chekov he had the strange urge to reach out and touch his shoulder instead he just spoke to him.

"Chekov, I shall require you back on the bridge, if you need to take a moment to compose yourself that is ...fine."

He exited the room and walked without knowing where he was going. Somewhere on deck seven he realized that he was simply walking the halls, gaining the odd glances from people as they walked passed him. Everybody around him was moving with hurried steps, everybody had a purpose and he knew he need to get his focus back. He could mourn later for now he needed to fulfill his purpose. He stepped into the first turbolift he could find and headed for the bridge. In his mind he was making lists of things he needed to do. Lists were logical, lists had purpose and lists were safe. He could feel Nyota at the back of her mind, a constant tingling sensation and he knew that she was concentrating on their link to read his emotions. He didn't have much concentration or energy to block his emotions from her but he knew that he had immediately shut a part of himself off when his mother had died. He did not want Nyota to suffer his pain.

Nyota turned to look at him as he walked onto the bridge, he acknowledged it with a slight nod. He sat down in the captain's chair. On the screen in front of him was the big circle that was blacker than deep space. Vulcan had once inhabited that space. Now all that was left of it was a few fragments of debris that h\ad still to be sucked into the blackness.

The ship had withdrawn to a distance where they were no longer at threat from the black hole but with no orders from him the ship could not move any further. It would not be wise to make decisions without first knowing all the facts so he pressed the communication button on the side of the chair.

"Engineering report please."

"There are radiation leaks on the lower decks. Decks two and three and half of four are out of bounds without radiation suites. We are Warp capable."

Spock considered this for a moment, desks two and three contained storage areas meaning that the simple proteins used in the replicators would be contaminated. Deck four had science labs and even some quarters.

" How long for repairs?"

"I've got to say at least five hours at this point. We have a pressure problem, we mend one leak and another crops up."

"Can you reroute the coolant system?"

"I'm not following your train of thought."

"Cooling the gas will lower the pressure."

The engineer seemed to consider it for a moment."That would work sir but it may take slightly longer."

"Do it." Spock said. He need time to think and he needed another's opinion because at the moment he did not trust his own mind at the moment but he could not let his crew know how lost he felt. They need to rely on him and he needed to stick to his decisions rather than question them.

"Captain?" Nyota said. The strange word from the familiar and beloved voice stunned him for a moment.

"Doctor McCoy is hailing you."

"Patch him through."

Within two seconds a little light was flashing on the arm of his chair.

"McCoy, what is the status of the elders?"

"As well as can be expected."

Before Spock could ask him for a statement more fitting to a Star Fleet medical officer McCoy interrupted him.

"I need you down here Captain."

"What do you need me for? Is my father well?"

"Your father is fine, I need to determine that you are fine."

"I assure you I am in good physical health."

"Well excuse me I wasn't aware you had your medical degree. Look Captain you have undergone physical and mental distress and I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't give you a quick scan. Would you please report to me as soon as it becomes convenient for you to do so."

Spock took a deep breath, at least McCoy was being respectful and doing his duty correctly.

" Confirmed." He said. "I need an update on the casualty lists."

"Twenty three dead, two seriously injured, five radiation burns, but other than that broken bones and minor abrasions."

"Thank You."

He shut the link down and turned to Nyota.

"Lieutenant Uhura, are you picking up anything from Vulcan ships."

"There's a lot of confusion out there. Permission to send out an information signal?"

"Se if you can contact the fleet, tell them that Vulcan has been destroyed. They should prepare to receive all evacuees." He took a deep breath. "Can you estimate how many evacuees' there are?"

"There is a lot of ships sir, the airways are full, I estimate there to be three hundred and eighty ships."  
"Sir?" An ensign on the scanner called him.

"Yes Ensign."

"The ships are of various sizes I can pick up fifty six of the large evacuation vessels, and the rest are shuttles and science vessels."

"Thank you ensign. Lieutenant are most of the signals you are picking up distress signals?"

"A lot of them are sir."

Spock nodded and raised his voice slightly ready now to give orders.

"We will remain in orbit for eight minutes to give the evacuees a chance to pick up our signals. I want all resource to go to trying to determine whether there are any ships in imminent danger." He stood up. "If there are organize the rescue missions, and Uhura, see if you can get numbers so that the Fleet bases on Earth can prepare more efficiently."

There was a chorus of yes sirs but Spock only heard one. He headed for the turbo lift. He saw Nyota glance slightly at him.

_**There will be time to talk later. **_He silently told her.

"I will be at the medical bay." He said aloud.

Spock had managed to get orders out and to make a competent logical decision but as he walked to the medical bay he felt the thudding in his head and the nauseous feeling in his stomach. He could not rid himself of the feeling that something was missing, that everything was empty. He knew he would see his father in the medical bay, he did not know how to face him. He did not know what to say. Spock had loved her, his mother. His father had said he had married her because it was logical. He tried to concentrate on simply stopping his hands from shaking, keep breathing, keep walking. The noise hit him the minute the doors of the medical bay opened, sobbing, groans of pain and a sudden scream. He looked up to see a full medical bay, the beds had all been full and the emergency cots had been brought out, extra chairs had been added to the room as well and every square foot seemed to be occupied by somebody. Spock experienced a moment of confusion with all the movement going on around him. There just seemed to be to many sensations battering him for him to gain focus or harmony of thought. He found McCoy he was stood over an engineer sat on one of the pop up cots. He was twisting the mans wrist around whilst scanning him with a medical tricorder. Spock figured that the scream had come from that man having just had a dislocated arm popped back into its socket. The moment the scan was finished McCoy turned on his heels and walked over to another bed, a girl in a science officer uniform, a cadet, Sally Roberts Spock remembered admiring her bright red hair when she had first walked into one of his guest lectures. Now Sally Roberts had thick red blood matting that red hair. Spock made his way through the mass of people trying not to touch anybody. When he got to the bed he looked down into wide unfocused green eyes.

"Hello Ensign Roberts. You are injured."

"A wall fell on me."

"Doctor?"

"She'll be alright, a laceration and a concussion. She just needs to have somebody keep an eye on her. Want to hop on the bed next to the Ensign here. We're kind of low on space."

"That will not be necessary. If you scan me you will find I am quite well. I do have some bruising on my arm, although the pain is not serious blocking it is taking away some of the concentration I require to perform my duty. If you could give me a numbing agent I would be grateful."

McCoy had already turned his Tricorder onto Spock. Spock watched as he stared at the small screen the skin between his eyebrows furrowed with concern and Spock wondered for a moment if with his psychological pain he had missed some physical injury. He did not want to look back at the period when he had been on Vulcan, the last time he had seen the planet he had been born and raised on, he did not won't to go over that time to see if he could have gained some kind of injury.

"Doctor?"

McCoy glanced up at him.

"Come with me I'll get you that pain killer."

McCoy led him through the medical bay, he tapped one of the two other doctors M'Benga who was talking with the elders and whispered some instructions into his ear. McCoy tapped a code into the pad of the medical storage closet. The door slid open. Spock felt a little unsure when McCoy indicated him to follow him into the large walk in cupboard. Spock stepped in, he watched the door close behind him before he turned to McCoy. He had hoped the man would have grabbed a vial of pain killer injected him and left but when he saw the expression on his face he knew that the man wished to discuss something with him.

"Doctor? Have you lured me into the closet on false pretenses."

McCoy looked irritated but he seemed to push the irritation away.

"I was concerned. Your brain waves, there is something going on there that I've never seen before."

Spock frowned at him, he had the sudden urge to shout at him. How could he expect his brainwaves to be normal, he had a family link broken, he had the death screams of almost the entire population of Vulcan reverberating around in his head like an echo that would never leave him. And he had bonded since his last scan. Spock took a deep breath; McCoy's eyes were boring into his waiting for an answer.

"I thank you for your concern but it is not necessary."

McCoy gave a slow nod. He turned and grabbed one of the long lines of multi colored vials form the shelf. This one was bright red. Her picked a hypo needle from the shelf above it.

"I'm hoping this one won't mess with you metabolism. Raise your sleeve."  
Spock pulled his sleeve up revealing the dark green bruises on his skin from where he had protected his head from falling rocks. There was a slight sting when McCoy pushed the hypo to his skin then spreading warmth that Spock knew would sooth the pain in a few minutes.

"You know if you need anything.."

"I shall ask. I require you on the bride in four minutes. I also require Ensigns Kirk and Sulu so if you could move them up your priorities list."

"In case you didn't notice it I'm needed here."

"I shall not require your presence for long. There are two Lieutenants in the science department with some medical training I will assign them to you. They can treat some of the less serious cases."

"Well, that will help." McCoy said after a moments thought.

"I will expect the three of you on the bridge ion three minutes and forty seconds." Spock left the cupboard without another word. He strode through the medical bay taking quick note of who was there and from what he could see the extent of their injuries. It was clear that they needed more space. He noticed a member of the security team who was having a large gash on his hand mended with a skin regenerator by Nurse Chapel. He stopped by them.

"Nurse, when will Lieutenant Shiad be ready for duty?"

"A couple of minutes Mr. Spock."

"Lieutenant." He nodded towards him.

"Sir."

"I was wondering if you could consult with Doctor M'benga over which of the Vulcan elders are well enough to leave sick bat and then please find them some quarters, the medical staff need more room to perform at an optimal level."

"Spock." Spock felt a sudden wave of panic at the sound of his father's voice. Hew turned to glance at him.

"Father, have you been checked by Doctor M'Benga?"

"Yes, I am uninjured. I wished to know if you were injured."

"No Father I am also well. I am required on the bridge."

Sarek bowed his head slightly and Spock took the half second to look at him properly. Was he being affected in the same way as Spock, if he was in pain, if he was trying to find the logic in amongst the chaos and finding it difficult to do so. It seemed to him that his father's eyes were a little duller than usual, that his back was not as straight as usual, and that his shoulder slouched slightly. But these miniscule signs added up to nothing except exhaustion and perhaps a little shock at the sudden loss of a planet.

"I am sure we shall see each other at a later time." Sarek said.

Spock inclined his head slightly and walked away. As he headed back to the bridge he couldn't help but wonder through all the pain what he would be like if he lost Nyota. It was not a thought he could bare for long. He knew he would not be able to stand there in the middle of a crowded medical bay and ask after the health of somebody else. He doubted he would be able to stand at all, he loved her because the only times in his life he had felt like he truly belonged and truly at peace were with her. He loved her because she smiled whilst she slept and because she told jokes he could understand and because she always strived to be better and because she kissed the tips of his ears before whispering that she loved him and because she reached into his mind and mended all his wounds. He loved her for every reason and for no reason. She was just his T'hy'la He would not see her come to harm.

He looked for her when he first walked onto the bridge. She did not turn to him she was working the com station typing and finely tuning the instrument to pick up and sort different message streams. She bit her lip slightly as she listened intently to the messages. He knew that pa t of the reason she was working hard was for him. He really wanted to say her name, to hear it on his tongue to reach out and touch her and assure himself that she was still here, she was real and his. Nyota, he thought her name not being able to say it allowed. The ten minutes he had allowed them was not yet up so he just sat in the chair that rightfully belonged to Chris and waited giving them the time they needed to assure the surviving Vulcan's made it to earth safely. Then Spock had a decision to make. Christopher had ordered them to meet with the rest of the fleet in the Laurentian system but that was before an attempted xenocide. It was not a situation the federation had ever dealt with before in it's one hundred and fifty year history and there were no rules or guidelines on how a stand in captain, the last survivor of an entire fleet with valuable passengers and a damaged ship should act when there was a homicidal maniac with the ability to create black holes running around in a heavily populated quadrant of the galaxy was supposed to do. He needed input, another pair of eyes to look at the problem, unfortunately as well as from the people he would choose to ask he also had to deal with Kirk as Chris had made him second in command. He knew it was pointless to wish the Christopher was there to give him advice but he knew that Chris was a prisoner; he did not think he was dead. He would know if his friend was dead they did not have a family bond but he felt he would know if he had been killed at least.

His eternal clock twanged and he swiveled around in the chair.

"Lieutenant Uhura? Do you have the information I asked for?"

"Yes sir, all ships are capable of making it to Earth though some lack warp capability, and the journey will take them around a week. I contacted earth and fast shuttles are going to supply those ships with the resources they need to make the journey and to take the children and the injured back to Earth. I estimate eight thousand survivors."

"Eight thousand?"

_**I'm sorry Spock.**_

Eight thousand; With those Vulcan's living on the mining and the small temple planets that would be just under ten thousand survivors. Just under ten thousand Vulcan's left in existence. There species, thousands of years of evolution, history and culture now resting on the heads of ten thousand remaining Vulcans with no home planet for them to return to.

"Have all received the message that they are to head to Earth."

"I believe so, the other ships are now transmitting it."

"And they all have the co ordinance?"

"Yes sir."

"Thank you Lieutenant. I need to make a record in the captain's log."

Nyota looked down at the array of buttons in front of her. She hit a few and then pulled a tape out from the small storage draw to her left. She inserted it into a space and turned to him.

"Ready to record captain."

"Acting captain's log, star date 2258/42/ we have had no word from captain pike. I have therefore classified him a hostage of the war criminal known as Nero. Nero who has destroyed my home planet and most of it's six billion inhabitants. While the essence of our culture has been saved in the elders who now reside upon this ship, I estimate no more than 10,000 have survived. I am now a member of an endangered species. "

Spock realized how personal that statement was. He had not meant it to be heard by his crew, he had not meant it to be placed on the record tapes. He was just distracted and the thought had entered into his mind. The emotions were becoming overwhelming. He could not block them off any longer, Sulu , Kirk and McCoy were meant to be heading to the bridge ad Spock had his duty to do. But he could not do that duty now. A moment, no longer than a minute of quiet aloneness would help him to carry that duty out. He got up to leave; as he walked he remembered where the botany room was. As he entered the turbo lift he thought that he would spend a few moments amongst the hydropolics, the running water and small growing fruit trees with their hot solar lamps.

_**Spock?**_

He glanced up and saw Nyota step into the lift. He did not know how to express himself to her, how to tell her what it was he was feeling, why it was he could not talk to her. He knew she must have heard of his mothers death and he was glad as he did not think he could have told her himself. He glanced down at her, their link which he had been guarding with as much concentration as he processed, which wasn't a lot. He knew that she could tell he was holding a lot back form her. He glanced down at her. There eyes meet for a moment, and then she reached over and paused the lift.

"I'm sorry." She said and Spock had to wonder why Human's said they were sorry for things they had no control over. He watched her eyes fill with tears and felt a moment of anger at her for being able to show the emotions he did not know how to display. For being Human like his mother and more able to understand her and what her life had been. Why she had made illogical decisions lie to become the first Human to bond with a Vulcan and to try to have a son even with the likelihood that she would miscarriage or even die herself. Why had she given up a career and being close to her family and left for an unfamiliar planet where she was considered and outsider. But as these things quickly flicked through his mind he came to realized that he understood the reasons for these things. Nyota had taught him, or at least Nyota had raised that part of him, the human part, his mothers half out of its hiding place. Because all those entirely illogical things his mother did Spock would do for Nyota. He had already risked his career for her.

"I'm sorry."She replied.

_**Let me in Spock.**_

_**Nyota.. the pain.**_

_**Let me share it.**_

Her cool hands cupped his face for an instant before moving to his neck her fingers coming to rest behind his ears. He meet her eyes, he felt so exhausted. He could not hold back from her anymore especially when he felt warm loving tendrils tickling at the back of his mind. His wall collapsed and everything broke through; she would be able to feel everything through their link. He saw the sudden flicker of pain in her eyes. She was so close to him he could feel the tickle of her breath on her cheek.

"I'm so sorry." She said again.

He felt her lips his cheek then against his own, that soft reassuring pressure but he was slow to respond his brain being sluggish. Her body pressed against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her head rested against his shoulder. Her finger reached up and stroked the little hairs at the back of his neck, such a familiar gesture, one she made almost everyday. A gesture that seemed all too normal for the circumstances.

_**Let me in, share the pain with me, let me take some of it.**_

_**You do not know what you ask.**_

Even as he replied to her he could feel her in his mind. It was the strangest of sensations and one he could never name or describe but he could feel some of the pain disappear. Just a small amount, but it crossed a margin. He crossed back over to the point where he could handle the pain. To the point where it no longer overwhelmed him. He did not know what she was doing, he did not know if she were taking t into herself or healing him in the same way he she had done before. He knew he would ponder over it later but for now he was just relieved that his mind was under his own control again. He did not feel better, but just as if the hard edges of his pain had been taken away, he was more able to cope. The link between them was so strong, he was so used to it he hardly ever realized just how strong. It could never have replaced the link that snapped when his mother fell but it was comforting to him. He knew he should not have tried to block these feelings from her.

He bent his head to her shoulder. He clung to her, the savior of his sanity. He felt her sigh against him.

"What do you need? Tell me." She asked pulling away to look up into his eyes.

He did not know how to tell her that she had already given him everything he needed. In those brief moments she had let him find his mother inside him and had returned his sanity to him. His bondmate, she had eased his pain. Now he needed to look after the ship and honor Chris's final (no he could still not think that) Chris's last orders. He had to be a captain. Not a husband, not a friend or a son because he could not play all roles at once, there was not enough energy or concentration to be all tings at once and to hold back the emotions. He was captain of the Enterprise and for now that was his first priority.

He pulled away from Nyota but allowed her to keep her hands to his face so he could have those few more seconds of warmth and love and comfort and devotion.

"Tell me." She asked again.

There was still so much more pain but she had already done more than she should have been able to. It took him a moment to regain his voice, to keep his face neutral; he had been so close to the precipice. He pressed the button to start the lift up again; he had to go back to work, back to the bridge. He had allowed himself a minute and he had taken two. He would simply have to go to anther turbo lift and enter the bridge again.

"I need everyone, to continue performing admirably." He said, but mainly he meant that he need himself to continue performing. Just to continue to move, to continue to breath and to get through the next few hours without an emotional outburst.

She pursed her lips slightly. Took her hands away from his face then touched him again as if nervous she was the one who needed reassurance. She opened her mouth as if to speak but shuts it again and just agev a little nod. He knows that she can feel his pain and know that there was no more she could do to ease it. Spock focused on the unshed tears in her eyes and the weak little smile she gave him.

"okay."

She pressed her lips to him again. The kiss was filled with some kind of longing. As she pulled away he didn't' want to let her go. He wanted to keep hold of her, the only thing he has left.

But he has to, with a forceful push down of his emotions he straightened and as the turbo lift doors open he walks out knowing that to look back would be to give into his emotions. With every step he feels less shaky and more secure. He is going to manage. He still has something, he is going to manage.

* * *

I am hoping that this has turned out alright. I had to stop and start so many times I completely lost track of what I was doing. Anyways, internet is actually still broken, I am having to borrow other peoples computers but I hope that I'll be able to get the next half of the chapter up soon.


	48. Authors note sorry guys

Authors note.

Okay, firstly, I hate authors notes. They're a bit disappointing when you think you're getting a new chapter but I find it necessary to write this one. I need to appologize for the long wait on the next chapter, and indeed all my stories if anybody is reading any of the others. I stopped writting when I got a new job because I was working forty-five hours a week and getting pretty tired out by the end of the day. Then when I took it back up again I lost the laptop I was working on. Then I broke my arm (well actually it's a bit more complicated than that but it was in metal supports and I couldn't use it). Now, arm's healing. work is more managable and i've got used to typing one handed. New chapters for Cautionary Love, Chains and Of innocence and Experience are on their way!

Anyways, thank you I hope you'll all stick with this because I've given the movie a new end scene (that I thinkk everyone will be pleased with) and i've got three epilogue type chapters to tie up all the lose knots. I personally think the second one is the best idea i've ever come up with.


	49. The spoaces that remain part 2

Anybody still there? Lol, sorry for the wait guys, job contract is now finished, arm is now almost mended so on with the story. I hope you remember what's going on, I had to remind myself. Spock and Nyota have had three years together they fell in love despite him being her teacher. After a variety of arguments and a lot of growing up on Nyota's part and growing more open on Spock's part they finally bonded (albeit it accidentally). Nyota was fine with being bonded and knows Spock is her life partner but as a Human she wants to get married in the Human way...just not yet because she wants a career. Nyota gets pregnant due to a mix up with contraceptive hypos, she's not happy Spock actually warms to the idea. But they lose the baby and Nyota becomes ill due to copper poisoning after the baby is aborted. They part ways for a while but eventually they talk about their feelings and get back together. There relationship becomes so strong that Spock decides to propose to her so that they can get married and both be placed on the Enterprise. Then..Gaila helps Kirk infiltrate the Kobiashu Maru, Spock takes him to the council, Vulcan is in trouble, Spock's mum dies, the planet is destroyed, Nyota comforts him in the elevator...

* * *

The Spaces that remain part 2

Spock walked back onto the bridge. All eyes turned to him. Chekov and Sulu had returned to their positions. Spock noticed that Kirk had sat in the Captains chair. He pushed down a feeling of irritation, Chris may have made Kirk second in command but with the acting Captain on the ridge he should have immediately stood up. It was a sign of disrespect that he did not.

"Have you confirmed that Nero is headed for Earth?"

"Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain. " Nyota replied. He felt a deep longing for her but was proud that she behaved in a efficient and professional manner.

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Earth may be his next stop, but we have to assume every Federation planet's a target. " Kirk said, Spock thought that this was just a statement to cover his own ass, as Chris would say. All evidence suggested Earth so they should react as if it were Earth Nero was heading for anything else would be unwise.

"Out of the chair. "

"Well, if the Federation is a target, why didn't they destroy us? " Chekov said

.  
"Why would they? Why waste the weapons? You know we obviously weren't a threat. " Sulu pointed out in turn.

Spock felt the atmosphere of the bridge change at this. None of the crew had ever been expecting to come up against a ship that could out power the Enterprise. But he knew that Sulu's statement was not fact, to Nero's ship they were a fly simply brushed away. This was personal. Nero was about to destroy the Enterprise when he had hailed them to talk to Spock. He could have easily destroyed the Enterprise but he choose not to because he wanted Spock to see something. This was personal and yet, Spock had no idea who the man was. How could he have so badly offended a man he did not know. Yet there was the idea in the back of his mind, one coming into fruitation that it was no he who had caused the offense. That Nero was not simply a crazed Romualan but something which they had not yet encountered, a time traveler.

"That is not it. He said he wanted me to see something. The destruction of my home planet. " It took Spock considerable effort to say this as a matter of fact. He had seen the destruction of his planet, he had felt the death screams, it was very real to him. He kept moving as he spoke, it seemed to help calm him slightly."

"How the hell did they do that, by the way? Where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry? " McCoy asked.

"The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time. " Spock answered. Time travel was still theoretical but many believed that they were close to a break through. A decade ago a strange substance called red Matter had been discovered. It created tiny worm holes in the fabric of time, the problem was it could not be harnessed. The moment it appeared it had a habit of combusting into a worm hole and dispersing all it's energy till it collapsed.

"Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist. Are you actually suggesting they're from the future? "  
"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. " Spock readily answered, he had expected to have to defend his theory. Those less aware of spacial anomalies might think the idea simple fiction.

"How poetic. " McCoy replied.

"Then, what would an angry, future Romulan want with Captain Pike? " Kirk asked. Spock felt a stab of emotions at the mention of his lost friend.

"As Captain, he does know details of Starfleet's defenses. " Sulu suggested.

"What we need to do is catch up to that ship. Disable it, take it over, and get Pike back. "

"We are technologically outmatched in every way. A rescue attempt would be illogical. " Spock didn't say the phrase suicide mission but it would have applied perfectly to Kirks impulsive and badly thought out suggestion.

"Nero's ship would have to drop out of warp for us to overtake him." Chekov stated. Spock felt a slight rise of irritation that they were even taking apart Kirk's illogical idea instead of just dropping it straight from their minds.

"Then, what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp gear? "

"Remaining power and crew are being used to repair radiation leaks on the lower decks... "

"Okay, alright. There's got to be some way... " Kirk was walking towards him aggravation clear in his voice.

" ...we must gather with the rest of Starfleet, to balance the terms of the next engagement. "Spock said sharply.

He had opened up the discussion to the rest of the bridge crew to explore any rational courses of action he may of overlooked and to use their specialties to further improve the course of action he had chosen. But it seemed Kirk was determined to have some say however illogical. They were wasting time that could be better used in plotting the quickest course to the laurentian system. Couldn't they all see they were in a no win situation. That they had to do what they could to preserve the greatest amount of live, it was not the easiest decision but it was the logical one. If they attacked the Narada then nothing would be achieved except the destruction of the Enterprise and the death of her crew.

"There won't be a next engagement. By the time we've gathered, it'll be too late. But you say he's from the future, knows what's going to happen, then the logical thing is to be unpredictable." Kirk answered. Spock felt a twinge of anger at Kirk perverse and incorrect statement of what was logical.

" You are assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold. To the contrary, Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party. "

" An alternate reality?" Nyota's voice was questioning, if she who knew him so well needed confirmation on his belief in his theory then so would the rest of the crew.

"Precisely. Whatever our lives might have been, if the time continuum was disrupted, our destinies have changed." Spock felt the shock running through the bridge like a damp haze. He should have thought that statement through more carefully, Human's had an irritating habit of questioning how things could have been given a simple change in their lifelines to suggest to them that there was a possibility of having an entirely different life from the time they were born or toddlers was just going to distract them.

"Mr. Sulu." Spock said trying to draw attention back to the task at hand and sat in the captains chair." Plot a course to the Laurentian system warp factor three. "

"Spock, don't do that" Kurt was stood in front of him. Spock felt the walls around his emotions start to crumble, his annoyance at Kirk on top of his pain was just too much.

". Running back to the rest of the fleet for a, a, a confab is a massive waste of time..."

"...orders issued by Captain Pike when he left..." Spock tried to talk over him, it may go over everything he was ever taught on manners but Kirk was hard to shut up.

" He also ordered us to go back and get him. Spock, you are captain now! You have to be..."

"I am aware of my responsibilities, Mister..."

"Every second we waste, Nero's getting closer to his next target."

How could this cadet dare to tell him his job. He did not have the responsibilities on his head, he did not know how difficult it was for Spock to choose the most logical action. His mothers planet was in danger, and he was leaving it in that state because there was no other logical option. He was leaving his best friend, a man who had advised him and been his confidant for years. He was leaving him on an enemy ship to be tortured and killed. Logic was not a comfort. The only thing of slight comfort was that Nyota was close to him.

"That is correct and why I am instructing you to accept the fact that I alone..."

" I will not allow us to go backwards..."

"Jim!" McCoy shouted at the direct statement of mutiny.

" ...instead of hunting Nero down! "

Spock stood up, that one statement had given him cause for action. The last thing he needed at this time was a mutiny on his hands and though the chances of that actually happening were slim Kirk was also causing the bridge staff to question his decisions. He needed them all to work as well as possible in the given circumstance. They were all shocked, they were all a little scared they had all lost somebody but they needed to keep it together and get on with their work. And Spock, as Captain had to demonstrate that. He had made his decision. He needed to get Kirk off this ship.

"Security. Escort him out."

Two red shirted security officers had been hovering nearby. They each took one of Kirk's arms. Spock could literally feel the anger coming from the man. Was this the passion that Chris saw in him, that quality he held in such high regard. If so then it was certainly in need of direction if it were not to become dangerous.

Spock was distracted from his pondering when he heard a slight outcry, he looked over to see Kirk trip on of the security guards and quickly elbow the other in the face. Spock took immediate action he approached them quietly and unseen by Kirk in a few easy steps and as Kirk reached for the guards phaser (whether to disarm him or to use it himself) Spock placed his hand in that spot over his nerve in the Vulcan nerve pinch. A technique for briefly knocking out foe or the mentally disturbed that he had learnt as a child. Kirk gave a short breathy moan and collapsed to the floor.

" Get him off this ship." Spock commanded.  
"Sir?" One of the security guards answered.

"We are passing a inhabitable planet with a Star Fleet base, he shall be held there until this mission has been completed."

The security guard stared at him wide eyed then nodded quickly.

"Yes sir."

As Kirk was dragged unconscious from the bridge Spock returned to the Captain's Chair. He found himself met with stares.

"I believe you have your orders." Spock said.

McCoy sighed and turned towards the turbo lift. Nyota returned to her seat and everybody else quickly swiveled back towards their stations and made themselves busy.

_**Spock, Are you sure about this?**_

_**Do not second guess me Nyota.**_

He felt a wave of unwanted sympathy and raised a wall around the bond. He did not wish to snap at Nyota she was trying to help him and for the most part she was but he felt he did not need any distractions. His mind felt like it was in the midst of a storm. The cold calm centre of an hurricane. The cold rational part of him he needed to lead the ship was continually threatened by a mixture of emotions, psychic pain and confusion. He had to hold it together.

* * *

Yes, a bit short but it's a start, next chapter up as soon as possible I'm going to put aside a hour or more everyday to work on this story alone (I have too many on the go at once because I always write what I am in the mood for writting). And again a lot of writing for what basically in the movie takes three minutes. Spock might show a lot of deliberation here between what only takes second in the movie but he's a Vulcan, he thinks fast when he's stressed.. survival instinct or something… yeah I'm making excuse but oh well, the next chapters got the fight and some more making out.


	50. Annoyance, anger, agony

Sigh, will I ever be able to finish this in peace? There's only about six chapters (multiple epilogues included) and my computers broken (again) though I have a laptop it doesn't like the internet, or d.v.d's so some of this is written without. Anyhow, on with the show..

Annoyance, anger, agony.

Spock felt the insistent tingling in the back of his mind again. Nyota, she was trying to communicate with him despite the fact that he had set up a barrier from her. She seemed to be desperate to talk to him though. The bridge was buzzing with movement as the final steps were taken to repair the radiation leaks and to make sure that those ships from Vulcan that were not worthy of the journey back to Earth were going to be towed. It had been half an hour since Kurt had left the ship, things were moving more slowly than Spock had wished but he knew that the crew was working at full capacity. He was just unable to concentrate fully when they were here, 0.2 of a light-year from the black hole where Vulcan his home planet had been.

_**My apologies Nyota.**_

_**Spock, Kipenzi, are you okay?**_

Are you okay, such a Human question. It's the type of thing his mother would ask him. Are you okay? My planet was destroyed, my mother is dead, my best friend is missing possibly dead and I am captain of a ship that expects me to do what is best for them and for the federation on whole but there is a mad man from the future who will not be content until he destroys Earth and takes down the federation and I cannot order an attack because he will destroy the ship.

_**Kipenzi, my love, I am here.**_

_**I know you are Nyota, and it is more of a comfort than you will ever know.**_

_**Spock, do I want to know the chances of Earth survival?  
**_

_**The variables are to complex. How are the ships from Vulcan faring?**_

_**They have managed to organize themselves. The radiation leaks are now mended.**_

"Thank you lieutenant."

Spock did not notice the confused looks between some of his bridge crew. Spock pressed the com button on his chair.

"Engineering? Is the Enterprise stable enough for prolonged warp?" 

"Yes Sir." 

"Thank you lieutenant."

Spock closed of the com link.

"Lieutenant Jackson, have you got the co-ordinance for the Laurentian system programmed?" 

"Yes sir." 

"Mr. Sulu, slow increase to max warp."

"Yes sir." 

There was the slight jolting sensation as the ship entered warp.

"lieutenant Uhura, could you please call Doctor McCoy?" 

"Yes Sir."

_**McCoy?**_

_**He is very Human.**_

He felt rather than heard the question.

_**Kirk was his friend, the last thing I need is for another officer to be against me. He is well liked by the crew and I could use his help, I believe that simply approaching him on the subject of Kirk could.. mend bridges and stop the development of negative emotions towards me. It is what Christopher would do.**_

"Warp three, sir. " Sulu said loudly.

" Course one-five-one-mark-three, Laurentian system, sir." Chekov followed. 

"Thank you, gentlemen."

The turbo lift doors slide open. Spock glanced around to see McCoy walk onto the bridge. He had not excepted the man to be that quick. He quickly looked him over seeing his stiff closed of body language. He was angry and stressed. Spock would have to be careful.

"You wanted to see me?" McCoy said from the turbo lift door.

"Yes Doctor." Spock said standing up and walking over to join him. "I am aware that James Kirk is a friend of yours. I recognize that supporting me as you did must have been difficult." Spock had already considered this speech, McCoy had not made an open statement of his support to Spock but he had seemed to disagree with Kirk's actions and had not gotten in the way when Spock had decided to have him transported off the ship.

"Is that a thank you? "

After seven years Humans could still be confusing at times. They were on a star fleet vessel. He was acting captain, he did not need to thank anybody for following his orders they should simply do so anyways.

"I am simply acknowledging your difficulties." 

" Permission to speak freely, sir. " 

" I welcome it." 

" Do you? Okay, then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making the logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably, but the right one? You know, back home we got a saying, "If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable."

McCoy showed signs of aggression but Spock knew the man well enough to know that he was not a man of violence. It was obvious that not arguing Spock's decision to send Kirk away was played upon his mind. Humans were always so loyal, even at times when it seemed illogical to be so. Spock knew McCoy was right, he knew that Kirk's tests results were some of the best. He had taken more modules than his counterparts and Chris obviously saw some kind of greatness in him. But he was disobedient, he seemed to have little control over his emotions, he had no respect for rules, and he was arrogant. A mix that was full of potential danger not just in his own life but if given any high position within the fleet could led to the lack of lives. 

"A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential." 

"My god, man. You could at least act like it was a hard decision." 

" I intend to assist in the effort to reestablish communication with Starfleet. However, if crew morale was better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise."

Spock could hear the bitterness in his voice. He wished he could weep, to not weep for his mother the woman whom he had loved so dearly seemed wrong. If she were to somehow know what was going on now would it upset her to know that he could not weep? He tried to tell himself it was that he had to manage the Enterprise but it was not. Even if he had no responsibility in the world he would not be able to weep. All this pain and he would never be able to show it. He had always felt too human but on this occasion, he just felt to Vulcan. As if he knew his thoughts his father appeared on the ridge at that moment.

""Excuse me." Spock said to go see his father.

"Green-blooded hobgoblin." Spock heard whispered over his shoulder.

"Father." Spock said approaching him. He did not know how to talk to his father, they had grown closer in the last two years but today when he looked at him he once again saw the stern unmoving man of his childhood. He knew his father must have felt the end of his bond with his mother. Spock felt sick just thinking about his bond with Nyota coming to an end, he felt extreme pain over the death of his mother and part of him wondered if this unmoving man in front of him felt a similar pain but at the same time he was reminded of a question he had asked as a child.

"_You expect me to be fully Vulcan and yet you married a Human?"  
_

"_Marrying your mother was logical."_

Logical, it was the last word that he would apply to his relationship with Nyota, In fact it had defied logic at every turn, it was love, the ability to experience which he had inherited from his mother. Sarek was not heartbroken because he had never loved Spock's mother.

"The ship seems to be running well." Sarek folded his hands behind his back and glanced around the room.

"The crew is well trained; they are proving themselves worthy of their positions."

"I came to inquire as to the current course of action, I do not know if my security clearance."

"It is sufficient; we are currently heading towards the Laurentian system at warp three. We will rendezvous with the rest of the fleet and strategize how to defend Earth." 

Sarek nodded his head slowly.

" A command decision."

"Made by Captain Pike before my taking over of the ship." 

"You choose not to over rule it." 

"I know I am within the rights of the position to do so but I can think of no better alternative, to fight would be to lose the ship."

"Yes, it seems that way." Sarek agreed.

"Father, my quarters are on E deck if you require a place to mediate, they have not yet been fitted but they should be quiet."

"I thank you Spock, I shall make use of them at my usual time. For now, may I remain on bridge? The elders wish to be kept aware of any changes of plan that may affect the survivors of Vulcan. They put this in my hands." 

"You are more aware of fleet rules. You are welcome to observe." 

"I shall do only that."

"Captain Spock, detecting unauthorized access to water turbine control board." Chekov said.

That's strange, Spock thought. Could be a simple malfunction, the ship was new after all. Or it could be somebody tampering with the ship suggesting a Romulan stowaway or a spy.

"Bring up the video."

On the screen in front of him a security video appeared. Spock suppressed a wave of shock as he saw Kirk and another unidentified man in the turbine room, Kirk was helping the man up from the drenched floor.

Spock pressed his com button.

"Security, seal the engineering deck. We have intruders in turbine section three. Set phasers to stun."

How did Kirk get back on the ship? He had been assured of his departure. And what was he doing here? Was he determined to raise a mutiny (for some reason Spock doubted it) the idea that he may be a Romulan spy was also unlikely. Perhaps there were unknown factors. He glanced around the bridge McCoy, the expression on his face read as equal confusion. He obviously had not part of this. He stared down at Sulu and Chekov who seemed to be looking at him waiting for some instruction.

"Keep course."

"Ensign." Spock said approaching one of the bridge monitoring stations. "Have you detected any ships in our warp stream?" 

"No sir." 

"Any disruptions to our shielding?" 

"No sir. Only.." The ensign liked his lips nervously.

"Only what Ensign?" 

"There was the slightest of energy surges in that area though I cannot track it down to any specific form of energy and it does not seem to have come from any of the Enterprise equipment sir."

"Thank you Ensign."

A transporter beam would cause a sudden unidentifiable energy surge. Yet they were traveling at warp speed and transport beams were only considered safe when beaming to an unmoving target from a distance of no more than one hundred miles.

Spock turned when he heard the turbo doors slide open. Sure enough it was Kirk who was being accompanied by the security guards. He was sporting a few cuts and grazes since the last time he had saw him less than an hour previously and an unknown man who seemed to be soaked through as if he had jumped into a swimming pool fully clothed. Spock focused on the second man.

"Who are you?"

"I'm with him." 

An obvious and uninformative answer.

" He's with me." Kirk confirmed, he's body language confrontational.

An unnecessary confirmation Spock thought. This conversation was not going to be easy.

"We're travelling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship? "

"You're the genius, you figure it out" Kurt said.

Spock felt his muscles tensing, he could not figure it out, no experiments had been done on transporting into a warp field, it would be dangerous bordering on insanity. Then again, with Kirk that didn't really rule it out. The answer could be that they were using future technology, technology found upon the Romulan ship, still he did not believe that Kirk was on the side of the Romaulans. It made no sense, Kirk believed that this man had been responsible for his fathers death and Chris trusted him.

" As Acting Captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question."

"Well I'm not telling, Acting Captain. What di... What, now, that doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation. That, that doesn't make you angry. "

Spock knew Kirk was trying to rattle him. He knew this and yet he could not help but be angry. He could not help but feel a deep distaste for this man. All animals have a point where they can no longer continue experiencing emotional stress with out the fight or flight syndrome kicking in and though a Vulcan Spock was also just an animal. He was very aware of the trembling in his tense muscles, the anger so near the front of his mind. The multiple cracks already in his defenses were crumbling to the point of callapse. He looked over the second man, he was not in uniform but the coats looked similar to those provided by Star Fleet for extreme cold weather.

"Are you a member of Starfleet?" 

"I.. um.. yes. Can I get a towel, please? " 

"Under penalty of court martial, I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard this ship while moving at warp." 

" Well... " 

"Don't answer him." Kirk said. 

"You will answer me."

The man looked from Spock to Kirk and back again nervously. 

"I'd rather not take sides".

Spock felt those walls crumble even more. How did this man disobey him when under threat of court marshal? How was it he was willing to side with Kirk? 

" What is it with you, Spock? Hmm? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset. " 

Why point out his recent traumas? Why try to make him emotional. Kirk was second in command, he wanted control of the ship, he could only take control if Spock himself was unable to command. If he was affected by his emotional state to the extent that it would drastically change the decisions he made on the running of the ship.

"If you're presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken."

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. Did you see his ship? Do you see what he did? " 

"Yes, of course I did." 

The planet had collapsed around him. His home world, the familiar mountains of his youth had split apart in front of his eyes. He had seen his mother fall with one, the katric arc and he had seen that big black hole surrounded by the debris that was all that was left of an ancient planet

.

"So, are you afraid or aren't you? " 

Yes his mind practically screamed at him. But what did it matter, fear just got in the way. He had to hold it back, had to hold all the emotions back if he was going to manage.

"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion." 

"Then why don't you stop me. "

Kirk stepped forwards his nose inches away from his. It was like he was daring him to hit him. 

"Step away from me, Mister... " 

" What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?"

He felt both, they were taking him over. They were swirling around him. The room around him didn't seem to be there anymore, he saw his mother, he saw the look in her eyes as she turned to look at him knowing she was going to die. He was angry, he was angry at Nero, he was angry at himself he could have saved her so easily, his anger wanted a target. It wanted to take over his body; it wanted the ancient fires to move, to attack, to kill.

" Back away from me... " 

"You feel nothing! It must not even compute for you! You never loved her!" 

The walls broke. His vision blurred. There was a roaring in his ears that took over his mind. He saw Kirk in front of him. Felt the pain radiate through his fists and saw him fall. His head pounded, he grabbed Kirk. Another hit, his body found it so pleasurable, flesh contacting flesh. Fear, did Kirk want to know what it was to be afraid? His limbs moved without conscious thought. Kirk was below him, his hands were clasped around his throat. Kirk would know fear, Kirk would know the fear that his mother had felt just before she died.

"Spock! " His father voice barely reached his mind.

_**SPOCK,NO!**_

Nyota's voice was almost fearful but he could feel her in his mind, that burning bright connection trying to soothe him. He felt the anger beguiling to burn itself out, beginning to become under his control again. He let go of Kirk and straightened he felt his chest ache as he gasped for breath. He turned to look towards Nyota stood a little way away from his father. She was wide eyed, mouth slightly parted, she was looking at him as if she wasn't sure how to act towards him. She was shocked, maybe a little afraid of him. It was this more than anything that shamed him. He had been emotionally compromised; he had thought himself capable of handling this. Had all his decisions been marred? And now what would Kirk do? Now that according to Fleet rules Spock would have to stand down.

"I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log. "

Spock left the bridge. He was not allowed there anymore. He had failed them all. He had failed Christopher and his father and his mother who had always believed so much in him and Nyota who was strong but needed him to be strong as well. As he walked down the corridor he heard Kirk's voice over the com system.  
"

Mister Spock has resigned commission and advanced me to Acting Captain. I know you were all expecting to regroup with fleet, but I'm ordering a pursuit course of the enemy ship to Earth. I want all departments at battle stations and ready in ten minutes. Either we're going down, or they are. Kirk out."

It will be the former Mr. Kirk Spock said silently to himself.

Spock walked without knowing where he was going. If he had thought about it he would have headed to his room to meditate and regain control over his emotions. As it was he could only feel the tension in his limbs the fast beating of his heart the raggedness of his breath. There were more emotions than he had felt since infancy and he was drowning in them. So much anger, anger for the man who had killed his mother, anger at people he had no eight to be angry at like his father for not having this deep regret and pain in his chest that he felt would never go away. He was angry at Chris for not having found a way to keep command, for not being here for him like he had been for years. He was angry at Kirk, angry at him for being who he was, his opposite, a man who was both intelligent and emotional. And he hated himself for being more like Kirk than he would like to admit, more ruled by his emotions than any Vulcan should be. Angry at being less emotional than any Human should be. And most of all for not having been able to save his mother, and for not making sure she knew that he loved her.

He found himself staring down at the pad in the transporter room. His mother was meant to have been there. His mother would have known what to say to him. She would have understood how he was feeling; how he could understand Kirk's want to fight despite the illogic of it. He'd lived on Earth for years, he had found a home there that Vulcan had never offered. He had found a mate there, he had leant about love and friendship and loyalty. Was he wrong? He knew the numbers; he knew the chances of winning in a battle with Nero. But had he really considered it, logic told him that the chances of one ship saving Earth were too low to be considered. That if they were destroyed in battle with Nero they could not rouse the fleet in the Laurentian system and that would give Nero more time to destroy other federation planets. Logic said sacrifice earth to save the federation. Emotion said don't let it go, don't let earth go, look at what Human's could do. Look at Nyota look at his mother look at what the human race were capable of. Love without apology, love without limits, love against all odds against all logic. How could he let his mother's home planet be destroyed? How could he let his bondmate's family be killed? But how could he defy logic?

" Speak your mind, Spock."

Spock heard his father voice He knew that he had followed him to the transporter room.

"That would be unwise." 

" What is necessary is never unwise." 

"I'm as conflicted as I once was as a child. " 

" You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you."

His father was grateful that he was half human? He had always thought that his father was disappointed with him whenever he showed the slightest hint of humanity. At least he had been as a child when he had lost his temper. How could his father be grateful for a child who was never quite Vulcan.

" I feel anger for the one who took mother's life. An anger I cannot control." 

Spock admitted as a child of two worlds.

" I believe, as she would say, do not try to. You asked me once why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her."

Spock looked at his father in shock. How could he have not seen the pain in his eyes before? How could he have not noticed the pallor of his face the slight trembling of his fingers? How had he not noticed his father was in agony?

_Spock had left school early to avoid the boys who bullied him. It had got worse lately and he had started to grow angry. He could not help what he was, he was born half human. The door opened silently and he walked in the high ceilinged hallway. His froze as he looked through the archway in front of him. His father was home, unusual for that time of day. But even more unusual he was holding his mother in his arms., She was tenderly resting her head against his chest and he was trailing his hands down her back._

"_You are everything to me Mandy."_

_Spock blushed and crept past to his bedroom. _

His father had loved his mother; his father a man who was always a model Vulcan had married his mother not because of logic but because of love. The love that Spock had felt for his mother, the love he felt for Nyota was not a human weakness. It was inherited from both his father and his mother.

"Did she know I loved her?" 

"Yes Spock."

"Thank you father." He said.

He quickly walked past him. He knew what it was that he had to do.

He was not noticed as he returned to the bridge; an intense conversation was taking place between the crews senior members. Kirk, McCoy, the unknown man with the towel Sulu, Nyota. It was the young Russian genius who was speaking hurriedly as Spock stood by the turbo lift.

" Nero will travel past Saturn. Like you said, we need to stay inwisible to Nero or he'll destroy us. If Mister Scott can get us to warp factor four, and if we drop out of warp behind one of Saturn's moons, say, Titan, the magnetic distortion from the planet's rings will make us inwisible to Nero's sensors. From there, as long as the drill is not actiwated we can beam aboard the enemy ship. "

"Aye, that might work." The man Spock assumed was Mr. Scott answered. 

"Wait a minute, kid, how old are you?" McCoy asked. 

" Seventeen, sir."

"Oh, oh good, he's seventeen." McCoy said. Spock did not know why the man thought the boys age was of much importance seeing as everything he had said was correct.

" Doctor, Mister Chekov is correct. I can confirm his telemetry. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position, I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device, and if possible, bring back Captain Pike."

All eyes turned to stare at him.

_**SPOCK!**_

This time Nyota's inner voice was tinged with relief.

_**I am okay Nyota, I know what has to be done now.**_

" I won't allow you to do that, Mister Spock. "

It seemed that although Spock himself had left Kirk on a frozen planet he himself was not as willing to get Spock off the ship. He probably did not understand why it was logical for Spock to be the one to take this action.

" Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device." Spock took a deep breath, if he wanted Kirk to allow him this he must explain it in a way that Kirk would understand….he must explain what he felt.

"Also, my mother was Human, which makes Earth the only home I have left. " 

"I'm coming with you."

Regulation stated that the tow highest officers on the ship should never go on away mission together, one must always be present if not on bridge then at least reachable. Some how he doubted this would matter to Kirk. And for some reason he thought that all those distasteful attributes Kirk had, the willingness to cheat, to fight, the ability to hack computer systems, they all might come in useful on a mission like this.

"I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it. 

"See, we are getting to know each other."

Kirk clapped him on the arm, much too hard for the usual friendly gesture. Spock frowned openly. Why would Kirk care whether they were getting to know each other?


	51. Kirk, Captain?

I'm not even going to apologize for the wait on this one I know it's ridiculous.

* * *

Spock typed his clearance into the security system of the prep room. He felt a hand slide over his shoulder, he did not need to turn to know it was Nyota. He reached up and slides his fingers along hers.

"It is duty." Spock said.

Nyota stepped away from him. He walked over to the storage bins and pressed his hand against the scanner to release the phaser draws. He took one out and checked it over to make sure it was fully functional. When he turned Nyota was holding out a utility belt and a communicator. Spock reached and took it for her. He knew she was worried for him. He knew that she had every right to be. Spock believed in statistics. They told you how likely an occurrence was, they were a good basis to plan action on. Now he was going against the statistics, taking the unsafe option. Unsafe as in the chances of it working being 4.3% and the chances of him surviving 15.32%. Statistics could not take sides. They were just numbers, not sentinel beings, they were reliant on ever changing factors. Yet, still, the words 'the statistics are not on my side' seemed fitting. He and Nyota did not always need words to communicate. Some say communication is only 10% words yet in this situation Spock wished he had the words.

She seemed to sense the need in him. She reached her hands forwards inviting him to slide his fingers down hers. Spock did so allowing himself to feel the tingling sensation and the warmth that filled him when he touched his bond mate.

"Nyota I.."

Just at that moment the door slid open and Kirk strolled in. Spock dropped Nyota's hand. He began to check over his communicator.

"I checked it for you. And recorded the frequency, I set it to continuous low emitance. The Romulan's should not be able to pick it up."

"Very good Uhura."

"Are you ready for this?" Kirk asked as he hooked on his belt.

"Yes Captain."

Kirk looked at him for a moment. His expression showed something that Spock could not read.

"You, uh fit for this?" Kirk asked looking away.

"You do not process the strength to injure me Captain."

The word Captain still felt strange upon Spock's tongue. He could respect that Kirk had sought the advice of others instead of blindly following his own plans. It showed that perhaps the man was not entirely run by his ego. But that was not the only prerequisite required for captaincy.

"Yeah, I'd already guessed that one, I meant.. forget it."

Spock wanted to ask him if he was asking after his mental health after he had insulted him and insinuated that he was completely unfeeling. But he realized that that may cause an argument and to cause and argument before an away mission was not logical. Spock was not logical today, but he could at least hold himself back from doing something stupid.

They walked across the hallway to the main transporter room. Spock was aware of Kirk bending over the Com system giving the final orders. He stood on the transporter beam picking one at the back away from where his mother had supposed to reappear. He knew Nyota was following him nervously. Words continued to fail him, but Nyota stepped up onto the pad to join him. She was beautiful, he could not help but stare at her and try to take in every intricate detail of her. She stepped close to him, close enough for him to be acutely aware of the distance between them.

He felt her in his mind. Her presence was so strong in that moment that she filled him. In that moment she showed him everything she felt for him. The love the deep trust the desire and so much more the sense of belonging to him and processing him the sense of infinite time and possibilities ahead of them. To be shared together. It was beautiful and Spock let it fill him. It let it mend some of the pain in his heart and strengthen him. He fully opened up there link and let all his admiration and love and the sense that she was the most important being in the universe to him flow through back to her. He knew that words would have never been able to express every facet of his love for her but the link allowed him to express it without words, without holding back and without leaving any detail out. Her eyes glazed over with tears but she blinked them away.

_My Nyota, always so strong yet so soft._

_Spock…_

She reached up and her lips met his. They just kissed each other, slowly and passionately letting each other feel this wonderful sensation aware that it could possibly be the last time they experience it. Breathing could be such an inconvenience at times Spock thought as he pulled away. Yet he could not live without it so how could it be inconvenient? Another illogical thought. Spock rested his hand on the small of her back. Spock was only aware of the gentle breathing against his cheek.

"I will be back." He spoke softly making it a promise

Nyota pulled back searching his face for something.

"You better be. I'll be monitoring your frequency."

"Thank you, Nyota."

She leaned forwards and pressed her lips to his again. It was brief, not a goodbye but a see you later.

_Please, keep safe._

_Spock. Well see each other soon. I promise, Kipenzi, you are my bond-mate. We shall not be separated._

He glanced one final time at those deep brown eyes. Then he stood still trying to clear his mind for the task ahead. He was aware of Kirk stood next to him on the transporter pad.

"So her first name's Nyota?"

"I have no comment on the matter."

You have not proved yourself enough of the honor to call her by her first name. You do not deserve that familiarity. She is mine. Spock thought.

"Okey-dokey then. " Scott said. "If there's any common sense in the design of the enemy ship, I should be putting you somewhere in the cargo bay. There shouldn't be a soul in sight."

"Energize." Kirk said.

Spock felt the familiar tingling, the sudden moment of darkness just like a blink and then a ship appeared in front of him. The Romulan design nothing like the tidiness of the Vulcan ships. There were Greenish metal walls and open wires hanging down only protected by tubing. The ship was like nothing he had ever seen before but despite the technology being advanced their were signs of decades of wear and t ear. Then there was a harsh shut in Romulan and Spock realized the space he is in id not large enough to be a cargo bay.

Spock sees them, the Romlans. He pulled his phaser knowing Kirk has already moved. They are too out in the open they must find cover. He followed Kirk, green blasts of phaser fire sizzled through the air around him. His instincts were good enough for him to avoid them. Kirk seemed to be pretty quick on his feet despite the heavier artificial atmosphere. Spock was aware of the red blast of a phaser and Romaulan fall. He would give Kirk this, the man was suited to battle. They both ducked down behind a heavy cargo crate. It would protect them as they tried to hold the Romulan's off and think of their next move.

Spock heard the done of the Romulans speak over a com.

" Captain, we have Starfleet officers aboard the ship"

"Captain, Nero is aware of our presence." Spock said as he aimed his phaser at a Romulan who was taking pot shots at them from behind a beam. The blast sizzled through the air and hit the Romulan's shoulder. Still it was enough to stun him.

"How do you know?"

"Vulcan hearing." Spock explained briefly.

"Already, dam. I hoped we would have more time."

They continued to take down the surrounding Romulans. Spock floored three Kirk took the last one. There were now no Romulans in aiming range. Spock bends close to Kirk

"I'll cover ya."

Spock considered Kirk's ability to defend them both at once.

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah, I got ya."

Spock was not sure but they could not afford certainty. He had to look into the Romulan's mind. It was the only chance they would have to find the black hole device and save earth. He approached one of the stunned Romulan's on steady feet phaser raised ready to fire. The insignia on his uniform showed that he was higher up in the hierarchy than the others and therefore more likly to know important information. Spock put his fingers to the meld points of the Spock's face.

The stunned Romulan's mind was not trained like a Vulcan's was. It had very few defenses. The mind was shocked at the intrusion it's immediate reaction was to remember violent incidents in the past. Spock fought through the violent images that strangely feature Klingons heavily. He concentrated on finding the recent memories and the Romulan mind eventually figured out what it had to provide him with to get him to leave. He saw a montage of recent memories. Flashes of Nero, he was angry. Flashed of a Vulcan face, old but familiar. The name Spock was connected to that name. It was confusing but Spock concentrated past it. Then he saw Chris. Chris screaming, something had been done to him. He concentrated hard on this memory and eventually it revealed Christopher's location. He was still alive. Spock searched around more and saw a highly advanced small ship, again it was connected to the name Spock. He saw the gelatinous red floating ball. It was Red matter, a highly unstable substance that caused black holes. It's existence was only theoretical. Obviously that was no longer the case. He withdrew from the unfamiliar mind.

He became aware of his weight of the bad smelling recycled airs flowing around him. He opened his eyes and saw Kirk crouched down to the side of him.

"Do you know where it is? The black hole device?"

"And Captain Pike."

As Spock stood up he saw the body of a Romulan on the floor next to him. Kirk has been good to his word.

"This way."

They ran through the ship. Spock kept his senses alert. There may be more Romulans in the area but as Spock ran down the corridors his mind knew even though he had not seen them before they did not account anybody. As he ran Spock gave Kirk the directions to Captain Pike. One level up and thirty meters north of their exact location. Another Romulan appeared from out of a turbo lift Spock pushed Kirk to the left just as a red energy bolt sizzled past his right ear. Spock aimed his phaser and shot. The door of the turbo lift shut but Sock saw the Romulan fall before the metal clinked together.

The floor shaked lightly and there was a sound of whirring as the ships straining wires made a strange buzzing noise.

"What's that noise." Kirk shouted.

"They have started the drill given the depth and make up of earths crust we have approximately twenty one point three minutes."

"Let's hurry then."

"What Mr. Kirk do you think I am doing?"

"Wow. Didn't know Vulcan's could do sarcasm. I'm impressed."

A small square opening in the corridor led them into a large open space. Spock's eyes immediately focused upon the ship that stood to the other side of the bay. It was beautiful, in any other situation Spock would have loved to spend hours examining it. The ship was small, perhaps one man two at most, not designed for carrying or for long trips. It was a titanium with a round ball like middle surrounded by what looked like a ring shaped moving high energy beam. There were four legs, obviously retractable the hatch door was down, ready for them.

"Nice of them to leave the door open." Kirk said. "And no guards either. You'd think they wanted us to steal this thing."

Spock did not answer. He was starting to believe that Kirk's incessant talking was a means of stopping fear.

The design of the inside was beautiful. And definitely Vulcan. All walls white, functional, none distracting, the door circular, the floor lined with little grips, the bridge exactly where it should be. Spock looks around. There was much equipment he has never seen before.

"I foresee a complication. The design of this ship is far more advanced than I've anticipated."

H e saw the red matter container it was in the circular room that joined onto the bridge. He stepped forwards to examine it but was distracted when he hears a computerized voice.

"Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock."

Welcome back? The ship had identified him and identified him as an ambassador no less. There was a possibility it had mistaken him for his father Sarek but then This was future technology. Could the ship have recognized him as a future version of him from the reality that Nero came from. That would explain Nero's familiarity with him. That would explain the face he had seen in the Romulan's memory. The face that could very easily be an older version of himself.

"Wow, that's weird." Kirk said walking past.

"Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?"

Spock needed confirmation.

"Stardate twenty-three eighty-seven. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy."

Yes, there was a strong possibility that an alternative future version of him had piloted this ship; and if Nero knew him and the ship was now here there was a possibility that that version of him had come through the wormhole after. Was Kirk not questioning this? How did Kirk manage to beam onto the Enterprise? even if Scotty was a mechanical genius they were still years off that technology.

Spock turned to follow Kirk, he walked down the short bright corridor to the bridge. A small room with a domed window and triangular chair in front of the controls. Kirk was checking something on one of the computers as he approached.

"It appears that you have been keeping important information from me."

"You'll be able to fly this thing, right?"

"Something tells me I already have."

Kirk hesitates for a moment. He was not denying it but not confirming it either.

"Good luck."

Spock paused. He was about to face a great unknown. A face appeared before him. His Nyota.

"Jim, the statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than four point three percent."

Kirk turned he had a look of slight annoyance on his face.

"It'll work. " Kirk said quickly with self assurance

.  
"In the event that I do not return, please tell Lieutenant Uhura..."  
"

Spock, " Kirk stopped him "it'll work. "

He seemed so sure of the fact.

He was so confident. Where did that assurance come from? But it was for the best, could he actually have said to a stranger what he wanted to say? Tell her that I have loved her from the instant I saw her. And that from that instant there has not been a single second when I did not love her. I loved her in the good times, all the simple nights spent curled up together, the first we spent together. And I loved her in the bad times, when we were angry at each other, when we were hurt, when we were separated. I loved her. It defines me. It allows me to be a whole and not just two halves. I love her, It is simple and undeniable and permanent.

Perhaps he could have just contacted Nyota, but he did not want to. To tell her these things now would simply worry her, perhaps unnecessarily.

Kirk had left. Spock sat down in the pilots chair. It moved as he sat down. The material under him shifted to support his spine, it must have been some kind of unstable molecule reacting to the weight of his body.

"Fascinating."

For the first time since his mothers death (it was hard to believe that was only a few hours ago, those hours had been so full) he felt a rise of curiosity. His usual interest in the world was back.

"Startup sequence initiated."

Spock looked at the controls. He found that despite there unusualness it was easily readable. It was the logical way to lay out the controls of a ship. The way he would lay out the controls of a small advanced ship. And it helped that the labels on the screen were in a type of Vulcan short hand he was familiar with. He pressed the screen finding he could easily activate the controls and the weaponry system. He did not have any time to find anything other than this out. He started up the ships engine feeling the soft purr beneath him as the ship came alive.

He lifted the ship with ease and maneuvered it out of the nearby cargo bay doors. Once outside the ship and in open space he was able to speed up and follow the long line of the drill downwards. The ship didn't even jerk or heat up as he entered earths Atmosphere. As he headed downwards the indistinct blur of colors on Earth surface began to become familiar to him and he felt his hands grasping the controls tighter than necessary. The drill was just above San Franscio, the grounds of the Star Fleet academy. His home for the last seven years.

He accessed the ships weapon system. It was small so only contained a half dozen small missiles. He knew they would be powerful but the drill target was relatively small. That is relative to the computer generated ships on the simulations he had been on. He aimed carefully the little lights on the screen turning red to show that he was on target. He pulled the trigger. The first two missiles missed. Spock took a deep breath and centered himself before re-aiming and firing the next two. This time he saw the small flash of collision from the view screen in front of him. Then the large drill line snapped in two and separated. He followed the platform as it fell, for an instant he thought it would hit the bridge but instead it landed harmlessly in the water of the bay.

Spock turned the ship back upwards homing in on the Narada. His approach to it struck fear into him. The ship just seemed to get larger and larger as he approached. Soon all he could see on the view screen were those large metal spikes reaching towards him. They seemed ready to engulf him, to swallow him or to crush him. But he could not allow himself to give into fear, there was still more to do. A small nodule hidden inside the chair just below his finger started to vibrate. Without thinking he pressed down on it and a small screen to the left of him lighted up showing a twisted and distorted face. As the picture cleared he could see it was the Romulan Nero.

"Spock, I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance."

" I hereby confiscate this illegally obtained ship and order you to surrender your vessel. No terms."

" That ship, take it out." Spock heard Nero shout before the screen went blank. It was warning enough for him to start checking the ships shielding and watching the Narada missile docks on screen. The Missiles did not shock him when they came, he was ready for them. He turned the ship and hit the button he knew would send him into warp.

He only had a few seconds to think. In warp he knew the little ship was faster than anything else in the galaxy. Meaning it had already outrun the missiles and they were just small blips on the edge of his sensors. He had to destroy the Narada. Even with the red matter confiscated and the drill gone the Narada was a danger to federation ships. It had destroyed an entire fleet using only it's missiles. He quickly typed the coordinates for Saturn into the small ships navigation systems. Within seconds he was there. He easily found the Enterprises radio signals and opened up a direct line.

"Spock to Enterprise, come in Nyota."

"Spock."

Nyota's voice was filled with relief. His heart beat faster at the sound of it but he held himself together. There was not time for goodbyes. Kirk and Chris were still on that ship, along with a maniacal Romulan with enough missiles to damage half of Europe. He must destroy the Narada and the red matter, technology like this should not exist in this century whoever was in procession of it was in a position to rule over those weaker (which would be everybody) it would affect the progression of history too much, it must be destroyed.

"The drill has been destroyed. I have the red matter. The Earth is safe. I am going back to the Narada. I shall use the red matter as a means of its destruction."

"We're coming with you Spock."

"That would risk.."

"Shut up Spock. McCoy, Scotty and Sulu second that. Chekov would to if he wasn't terrified of you."

"Understood." Spock said.

He turned the ship back in the direction of the Narada and went to warp knowing that the Enterprise would be mere minutes behind him. He slowed slightly as the Narada came into view. He had to be certain of destroying the weapons bay and he knew from watching the missiles that were now being shot at him that would be in the middle of those great spike like structures.

He felt detached as he watched the multitude of missiles coming towards him. He handled the controls as if they had been made for him evading them easily and without thought though he knew that to do so would be impossible and that somewhere in his mind he was processing the incoming missiles and carefully calculating where to turn the ship so as to avoid them.

" Ambassador Spock, you are on a collision course." The computerized voice informed him.

"Understood."

He was strangely calm. Perhaps it was what Kirk had said. Perhaps he had a little in common with Kirk after all. Perhaps he knew that despite the odds he would somehow survive this. The last few years of his life had been so worthwhile. It had made the rest of the years dim in comparison. He was not ready to die. But then all those people on Earth were not ready to die either. The good of the many outweighs the good of the one or the few.

"Incoming missiles. If the ship is hit, the red matter would be ignited."

"Understood." Spock said again. He tried to engage his mind more fully on the task as more missiles came towards him, an impossible amount. He had to hit the ship though. There was no other option. Failure was not an option. He believed in no win scenarios but they were not a viable option. There was a large beep as another object came into range of his sensors. He knew this was the Enterprise and saw its missiles speed before him and take out those of the Narada.

The Narada was coming ever closer. Spock felt his heartbeat increase. His mouth went dry, the muscles around his chest seemed to contract and he felt as if he could not breathe. Fear, he had become quite accustomed to it in the course of the day.

_Nyota, I love you._

_Spock, Scotty's going to get you out of there. Trust me, just slow down a fraction._

_I do trust you Nyota._

He could see each of the hull plates. He could see an imperfection of the metal in one of the arms. A burn scar at the tip as he passed. Two seconds to impact his skin felt like it was crawling, he resisted the urge to shut his eyes.

The transporter room materialized in front of him. He looked over to the other pad and felt a wave of relief when he saw Kirk propping up Chris. He was alive, Chris was alive, the earth had survived. It seemed strange, there had only been a four percent chance. But perhaps there was something more to being in Star Fleet than the numbers and the regulations. After all, hadn't he broken the rules for Nyota.

"Nice timing, Scotty."

"Ha ha ha ha! I've never beamed three people from two targets onto one pad before." Scotty answered excitedly.

The door slide open and McCoy rushed in followed by Nyota. Nothing else existed for Spock in that moment. He ran forwards and caught her hand. She smiled widely at him and they felt the connection in their mind glow white hot. Spock was glad to be back with her. His lover. They ran together to the turbo lift as it opened Spock looked up and saw his father stood there.

"You have survived."

"Yes."

"I am glad."

"As am I. Chris may I also say it is good to see you alive."

Chris meet his eyes but did not speak.

They piled into the turbo lift. Doctor McCoy and Kirk held onto Chris, he did not seem able to focus on anything or to be able to stand unaided but Spock knew he would pull through it, after all the percentages seemed to be reversed today. Spock could feel Nyota close to him and whether it was having been two seconds from being blown up or the adrenaline or the lose of his mother and his planet but he felt the need to confess to Nyota. He turned to her looking directly into her eyes and reaching for her hands.

"_Nyota, there has not been a single moment since first lying eyes on you that I did not love you completely and whole heartedly."_

"_Spock, it's okay. We're going to be okay."_

"_I know. But I could not go another second without telling you. I regret nothing of our relationship, there is no one else…"_

Spock was cut off by Nyota kissing him. It was a kiss opposite to that they had shared before he had left the Enterprise. It was a confirmation that their love had not been lost.

"Yeah, they do that." Spock heard Kirk's voice say. Spock looked up to see his Fathers arched eyebrows. It had come naturally to Spock to speak in Vulcan and not through their link. He had been too caught up in the moment to realize his father would hear and understand everything said.

He pulled away from Nyota slightly embarrassed.

"_You seem proficient at your job Miss Uhura. I foresee a good career in Star Fleet."_Sarek said._  
_

"_Are you saying you approve?"_

The turbo doors opened and Spock wished Chris well as McCoy and his assistant helped Chris out. The turbo doors reclosed.

"_I do." _Sarek agreed.

The doors opened and this time it was to the bridge. Spock, Kirk and Nyota existed. Nyota rushed to her station. Kirk glanced at Spock, he understood it was an invite to join him down by the screen. He walked with Kirk side by side.

"Captain, the enemy ship is losing power. Their shields are down, sir." Sulu said.

"Hail them now." Kirk ordered.  
"Aye."

The tattooed face of Nero appeared on the view screen. There were signs of a ship in distress behind him, an alarm was going off and Romulans were running everywhere.

"This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. Your ship is compromised. Your too close to the singularity to provide assistance, which we will provide."

Spock was generally surprised. The Romulan had destroyed one federation planet and had attempted to destroy another and Kirk was offering assistance? Spock did not wish to assist the man who had killed his Mother, why would Kirk offer when the same man had killed his father.

"Captain, what are you doing?" Spock asked quietly .:

"You show them compassion may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock. Thought you'd like that."

Yes, it was logical. The Romulans were a war like people who believed in honor. They would see this as an honorable act. But he did not like it. He was angry, he hated this man. He accepted that anger was a part of himself, not a part of his Human half or a part of His Vulcan half but a part of his whole self.

"No, not really. Not this time."

Nero interrupted them by snarling above them.

" I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in agony than accept assistance from you."

Kirk stared at him for a moment.

"You got it. Arm phasers, fire everything we got."

"Yes, sir."

Spock walked back round to his science station, he checked that the details for the weapon usage were recording properly as for Star Fleet regulations.

The picture on the screen switched to a view of the outside of the Narada. The blue and red lines of the torpedoes and phasers were soon visible. The torpedoes hit their mark and those spikes collapsed and separated from the ship as it was dragged into the black hole. Debris swirled around the ship as it was torn apart. Spock had thought that the disintegration of the ship and the death of Nero and his crew would make his anger disappear. Instead he felt nausea at the sight of it. It was a horrible end for any who live or work in space. When Vulcan had been destroyed Spock had not seen it. The mountains trembling around him had registered but he was to on task to really take it in. This he could see and process and it was horrendous. The instant the Narada disappeared a warning flashed up on the view screen. The gravity of the black hole was effecting the ship.

"Sulu, let's go home!" Kirk said.

"Yes, sir!"

Spock looks down at his readings. The ship was moving but not forwards, backwards towards the black hole. It was also trembling uncontrollably in a way that Spock had never known a ship to do. The electrics were out. He was not the only one who had noticed.

"Why aren't we at warp?"

"We are, sir." Chekov answered.

"Kirk to engineering. Get us out of here, Scotty."

"You bet your arse, Captain. the gravity well has got us!" Scotty shouted over the com system.

"Go to maximum warp. Push it!"

"I'm giving her all that she's got, Captain?"

There was a loud crack. Spock looked up, the ceiling had cracked. It took a lot of force to make high impact plastic crack like that. The Enterprise was already being pulled in too many directions at once to handle it. They too would be sucked into the black hole and suffer the same fate as the Narada.

"All she's got isn't good enough. What else you got?" Kirk was calm and in control, rational.

Spock tried to think over the solution, they needed a blast of energy with greater force than the gravity of the black hole to free them. Scotty reached the conclusion before him.

"Okay. If we eject the core and detonate, the blast could be enough to push us away! I cannae promise anything, though!"

He view screen cracked lines radiating from the corners inwards.

"Do it, do it, do it!" Kirk shouted. Spock noticed he was now panicking.

Spock was aware that all the bridge crew were staring at the screen. Spock held his breath as the tiny dots there was a blink of blinding white light and they were suddenly jerked forwards. The ship's regulator system could not handle moving past warp five. Spock put his hands on the console and pushed his back against the chair to steady himself. He kept his eyes on the sensors in front of him. The ship was being pushed away from the black hole. Within thirty four seconds they were past the point where the Black holes gravity could affect them. After fifty six seconds the pulsing wave of the warp drive detonation faded and the ship as left statuary. The Enterprise was out of danger.

_**Nyota, are you well?**_

_**Yes, you?**_

_**Yes.**_

He looked at Kirk. He had done it. He had saved the Earth and the Enterprise and Chris. He had fought and taken risks but come the time when he had the options he made a logical decision . He may not be the kind of Captain Spock would be, he may go with his emotions and make rash decision but there was no denying he had managed something improbable. Spock could respect him even if he did not understand him. As Kirk looked around he met his

eyes and gave him a short nod.

* * *

More on the way! And YAY! Got past the film (have to say describing it all has bored and distanced me, that and the fact that the film has been put back a year) so I can now be a little more creative. Chains next, it has been started, I just lost the notebook in which I was writing it when I moved (yes again, the life of a technically homeless graduate.


	52. Decisions

Hi guys (if anybody is actually still reading what with my atrocious update times), back onto original stuff. Five chapters left. Lets go.

* * *

Decisions 

March 3rd-4th

After the Enterprise had been cleared from the black hole they had to stop stationary in space. The ship was one thousand and eleven hundred miles from earth. With all the warp engines gone they only had basic power. At the top speed it would take hem over a week to get back to earth. Yet they did not even know if the Enterprise would hold up to that. The brand new ship had been pushed past it capacities and pieces of it's hull plating had been ripped away.

Jim had started to organize teams to check over the ship and ensure the safety of the current engines. Spock had wanted to run full analysis on all the systems and sensors to make sure known had been knocked out but Jim refused him permission. He organized four hour sleep periods for the whole crew so that they could all rest after stress of their battle. Spock tried to argue when he was put on the first rotation with Nyota but he could not openly second guess Jim with demeaning his authority. Also the moment he started to suggest that he manage one of the Engineering teams Jim called McCoy and told him to expect Spock for a health check within the next ten minutes.

Spock had taken a deep breath returned Nyota's sympathetic glance and headed to the medical bay. As he entered he noticed that almost every bed was full. There were two doctors apart from McCoy working and a nurse. They were all treating the walking wounded. Spock had considered leaving and returning to fulfil Jim's order when it was quieter. But he was drawn to the bed where Chris lay unconscious. He looked paler and older than Spock had ever seen him.

"Sedated."

Spock turned to see McCoy stood a few paces behind him.

"I had suspected as much."

"I'm not going to try removing the bug at this moment in time. Our resources are too stretched and it may lead to accidents."

Spock nodded.

"That may be wise."

"Come on, lets get you sorted." McCoy said indicating to the one free diagnosis bed.

Spock could feel his heartbeat increase as he lay on the bed. He would never be fully comfortable with this. McCoy knew not to speak. He typed at his scanner rearranging it for Spock's unique biotype. He passed the scanner up and down Spock's body occasionally and then frowned lightly as he looked at the readout.

"Well, you're stressed but I knew that to begin with."

Spock sat up swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He would have argued that his body was not under any undue stress but he knew that then McCoy would argue that his mind was under stress and Spock did not need that pointed out to him right at that moment.

"I want you to sleep over this next four hours. And I want you to then eat a nice hot bowl of plomeek soup and kiss Nyota. Also check on your father, I don't have time to be doing constant checks on all our Vulcan's and I doubt they would appreciate my interference. Then, when you've slept and eaten and gone back on duty you are going to take it easy, you are going to run some easy systems checks and let somebody else take responsibility."

"Doctor my job is...

"Determined by my saying you're allowed to do it. Don't make me sign you off duty."

Sometimes Spock really disliked this man. He nodded obediently and refused all offers of sleeping tablets from McCoy. He was happy to leave the med bay, it was noisy and he could admit to suffering from a sudden draining tiredness that had come on since twenty three minutes after they had cleared the black hole. He entered the turbo lift and using his memory of the schematics he walked to the room he had been assigned. The door pad scanned him and somewhere in the computers his name was matched to a door number and a signal was sent for it to click open.

As the door slid open he felt a familiar presence. Forewarned he entered without switching on the light. He saw a dark shadow folded on the floor. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could see it was his father meditating. He left quietly.

He felt more tired and more drained than he had in years. He considered logging into the computers data banks and finding who was currently on duty and sleeping in one of their rooms but as he walked slowly down the corridor he realized that there was one place he wanted to be. When he reached the computer terminal he looked up Nyota's assigned rooms. One floor up.

He used his override code to get into the room. There were strict rules as to when the override code could be used. But the chances of Nyota putting in a formal complaint were low. The room was shared, two desks and a set of bunk beds and shelves. Spock had already checked that her roommate was on a later sleep rotation.

In the thin beam of light from the corridor feel across Nyota's peaceful sleeping face. She was curled up on the lower bunk still fully dressed. The short skirt was pulled right up showing glimpses of the red panties under it and the full length of her long mahogany thighs. Spock stepped inside and took off his shoes and over shirt. He was careful as he climbed onto the narrow space next to her. She stirred.

"Spock." She whispered pushing her body back against his. He sighed breathing in the scent of her hair. He fell asleep with her in his arms.

* * *

March 7th

Jim Kirk was a tireless leader. It seemed that he was always on duty though Spock knew that was impossible. Humans need more rest than Vulcans. He was always wherever he might be needed taking plenty of time away from the Captain's chair as he visited the engineering department, the deployed mechanics teams, the Vulcan elders and the medical bay. He was respectful of his officers and crew members often thanking them for their hard work and giving them positive comments and encouragements. The ship was checked and then repaired whilst heading back to earth.

It was interesting for Spock to observe that Jim managed to make humorous remarks and keep a friend like atmosphere with his crew whilst still getting their full respect. It was a balance he doubted he would have ever managed even if he did understand the Human sense of Humour.

Most days Spock saw Jim taking breakfast with Chekov. He seemed to have really taken the boy under his wing acting as an older brother type figure to him. It was a demonstration that Jim seemed to know what each of his Bridge crew members needed. When Nyota was tiring Jim would often suddenly turn in his chair and ask her to go down into the com department. Spock knew that on each trip Nyota would take time to sit and talk to some of the girls there and would come back feeling more refreshed. He seemed to know what Spock needed as well. Most of the crew seemed shy of him and kept making sympathetic gestures. Jim did not try to console him or showed him any pity. Instead he gave Spock a range of interesting tasks and responsibilities. It was what he needed.

This man, this version of Jim Kirk was very different from the one Spock had known on Earth. He was different from the man who had pushed him into anger and called him a robot. This man was respectable. A good captain. Who was the real Jim Kirk? Like Spock did he have two separate parts?

* * *

March 11th- Star Fleet academy San Francisco

Spock hesitated as he walked into the ward. He did not want to disturb Christopher as he rested. He knew his friend was still very ill, he was recovering from an operation at the top of his spine. It had been a very delicate operation. He would be weak for the rest of his life but he should regain the use of his legs. In truth Spock did not know what to feel. Christopher was his closest friend. He had always been the good advice giver; he had also been a very vital man. Now he was frail, now he had lost his captaincy.

Since arriving back on Earth Spock and Kirk had been crowded by students and reporters, there had been ceremonies and funerals, congratulations and condolences. All of it meant nothing to Spock but he did feel that he did not want the attention but also he did not deserve it. Chris had bordered that shuttle ready to give up his life for his crew. He had known he was walking straight into a situation where he would be tortured and killed. But he had still walked tall and had been clear headed enough to pick Kirk as second in command. Chris deserved some recognition for his bravery.

He walked to the small private room off the main ward. He knocked and Chris's voice shouted 'come in'.

Spock walked into the room. Chris was lying propped up in the bed. There was an oxygen mask next to him and the room was loaded with emergency medical equipment. Chris was hooked to some pain killers and what looked like nerve regrowth solution through wires inserted into his arm. Spock stared up at the screen above his head reading the output.

"Spock." Chris said happily.

"Hello Christopher, what is your condition?"

"You know most people would ask me how I was feeling."

"Given the amount of pain killers filtering through those wires I doubt that you are feeling much."

"Witty, it's not all about pain you know."

"I would assume guessing the lack of stimulus in this room you are also bored."

Chris gave a light chuckle.

"Yes. I will admit to that." Chris sighed and looked down at his hands. "Spock, I heard about Vulcan."

Spock felt his chest tighten in the way it always did when somebody mentioned Vulcan.

"I'm sorry Spock. You're mother was a fine woman."

"Who is your doctor?" Spock asked trying to change the subject. Chris was his friend but he did not need to talk to him. He was managing his loss with meditation. Chris levelled him with along stare then seemed to decide that he would let it go.

"McCoy, good fellow. Won't let me access the computer system because he wants me to rest but he does come in to talk to me whenever his awake. Did you know he has a daughter?"

"Yes."

"Parenthood, it's something we give up isn't it?"

"We?"

"Us officers of the fleet who get caught up in the service. We forget that it's a career, a job, not an entire life."

Spock nodded. He knew a lot in the fleet like that. Those who were dedicated to Star Fleet and nothing else; they were often Star Fleets most successful. They kept everything by the book because they had no outside influences to affect their decisions. If Nyota hadn't come into his life then Spock imagined that he would have been counted as one of them in a few years, he had never thought of Chris like that though. Chris kept to the rules but he did allow his own personal opinions and ideals help guide him in how best to interpret those rules. Chris was obviously in a rather pensive mood.

"You are questioning your decisions in life?"

"No, It's been a good life Spock. I'm just questioning what to do next with it." Chris answered earnestly.

"Your injuries may ground you."

"I'm grounded."

"Surely they could not have decided that already, your body has not had the chance to react to the regrowth solution."

"I have decided that I want to be grounded. "

"You have changed your mind in the last couple of months."

"I've decided not to let Star Fleet be my life. I've decided it's time to now let my duty to be to my own heart. I'm getting sentimental in my old age."

Spock remained silent.

"Sally. The pilot I told you of last year, the woman I love. The woman I have loved for the last twenty years. She's been visiting every day and we've been talking about the future. Staying here in San Francisco together. There's even still the chance of children. But if not then just the two of us."

"You would be content with a sedate life?"

"Sedate?" Chris laughed. "It's just another adventure Spock. I'm getting more than I deserve Spock, she's giving me another chance after I've let her down. The desk job at Star Fleet is more than I deserve too, what after I gave Nero the codes."

Spock tilted his head to one side. It was a confusing statement. An illogical statement, but then Human's often blamed themselves for things they could not have done any differently.

"You could not help it."

"I know, I still feel guilty though." Chris admitted looking away.

"Christopher, my friend, nobody blames you except yourself."

* * *

March 17th

Spock was growing slightly worried he had come out of his mediation room to find his apartment empty. Nyota was usually home from finishing up the last of her lectures (though given the fact that she had proven herself in battle already she had a guaranteed position on the Enterprise) before they ate at seven. Tonight Spock had eaten alone. It was now close to eleven o'clock at night and Nyota would usually be getting changed for bed.

It was unusual for her not to ring to let him know where she was or when she would be back. He felt around with his mind to find her. He knew that if she did not wish her privacy to be interrupted she was hide her presence from him. Instead he felt her presence and a few glimpses of where she was. Spock took a moment to decide what to do and decided that he should go to her, though he had not been looking into her emotional state he had felt some distress from her.

He walked to the student block. It was unusually quiet these days. A lot of the students had taken time off, the death of most of the third year class had taken friends and siblings and reminded the others that they were Star Fleet officers and they were not indestructible as such. The whole of the academy seemed to be in shock. It suited Spock, he did not think he could handle drunk students at the moment. It would seem disrespectful, so many had lost their lives.

He placed his palm on the door pad outside Nyota's old room. The door slide open and stale air hit his nose. Nobody had been in this room in over a week. The colour changing plant on the windowsill was dropping sadly. Spock had thought that Nyota had wanted to keep him company. But perhaps there was something else he had overlooked due to his own grief. He knew this to be true as he looked through the darkness and saw the shape of Nyota curled up on the bed her body wrecked with chocking sobs. It took him another moment to realize that it was not Nyota's bed that she was curled upon, it was Galia's. He had obviously not been looking after his mates emotional health in the way he should.

He sat down at the side of the bed and placed his hand upon Nyota's shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Nyota choked out.

"Why are you apologizing?" Spock asked making his voice as soft as possible.

"You lost more than I did."

Spock nodded. He understood. Nyota had been hiding her own depression so as not to worry Spock whilst he dealt with his mother's death.

"Nyota, my mother was not the only one to die that day." Spock said stroking his hand down her back in soothing movements.

"I didn't realize until we got back, I mean I knew she was dead she was on the Farragut, no survivors but it wasn't till I saw her bed that I knew she wouldn't be coming back. I had to come get some more clothes. She's gone Spock." Nyota turned to look up into his eyes through the darkness. "She's gone."

Spock pulled her into his arms and held her tight. It was a long time before the sobs the wrecked her body abated. Then her fingers were reaching up and stroking down his cheek and it had felt like so long since she had touched him in that way though it could not have been more than a few weeks. Her soft lips were desperate against his and before he could fully realize what was going on he was responding just as desperately. It was as if they need to feel something other than this sadness and pain. Lust seemed a good replacement. Spock pushed her strong soft body down into the mattress.

Nyota pulled away her breath panting in Spock's ear.

"We can't have sex on her bed." She said sounding surprised at herself and her actions.

"I do not know why. It would be an adequate way to honour her memory." Spock answered.

Nyota laughed, it was a hysterical and not particularly sane laugh but Spock felt it was better than the tears. Spock flipped them over and Nyota buried her face in his shoulder.

"She was amazing, wasn't she?"

"Yes. " Spock said thinking of the always smiling girl who seemed to live life to the fullest even if she did not follow any system of morals in existence. She had been happy and confident in herself and despite her faults she has a large measure of kindness.

"My best friend." Nyota said sadly.

"Yes, I was grateful to her for that. We shall always remember her and always honour her."

* * *

Later

Nyota had asked to be left alone for the night. She had said she just wanted to spend a night sleeping in Galia's bed before the room was cleared of her belongings. She had said she just wanted to smell her and to hear her voice. Spock had nodded. He could understand how she wanted to be close to her lost friend.

His mother had died fourteen days ago. He missed her. He had often gone months without communicating with his mother. He had only missed her in the first few months after he had arrived on earth when everything was strange and he had been an oddity to his classmates. But Now he missed her, now he longed to hear her soft voice one more time. He wished he was a child again and they could have that easy contact with each other. He wished to feel her fingers carding through his hair and her soft whispering voice telling him everything was fine as he breathed in that smell of lavender and roses that she grew in the garden mixed with the soft spices of the home made meals she cooked. She was his mother, irreplaceable and although he had always known her life would be shorter than his the idea that she was mortal had never really fully entered his mind.

He sat down in his apartment in front of the com system. He wanted to call her even thought he knew he couldn't.

He knew that it was pointless to think about what may have been. Things were as they were and cannot be changed. Still, he was alone and for the first time in weeks there was nobody to hide his emotions from, no reason to be holding them in. Perhaps sometimes, in a safe environment where his decisions affect nobody but himself in the moment emotion can be given a little control.

He looked at the screen in front of him and imagined his mother as she had been the last time he had talked to her on the system. But the last time he had talked to her he had not given her any time. He had been busy. How he wished for those minutes back. How he wished he had a little more time with her. He imagined her wide brown eyes and patient smile looking out the screen at him.

"Mother, you guided me well. I think I finally understand what you tried to tell me so many times. I am half human and Half Vulcan but they are two halves that make a whole. They can be harmonious; they do not have to fight. I thank you mother. I love you mother."

He felt something wet on his cheek. He looked up wondering if there was a leak in his roof. But there was nothing wrong with his ceiling. He lifted his fingers slowly to his cheek and wiped the wetness away only to find that more was making a cool path down his face in an increasing flow. He stared stunned as he came to the conclusion that he was crying. Then he closed his eyes and flung himself down onto the sofa letting the pain come and wash over him. It was an outlet he desperately needed; a human act of mourning for his human mother.

* * *

March 20th

"That's it class. I would say good luck with your exams but it may make you believe that you do not actually have to be properly prepared to succeed. I shall merely say goodbye, I hope your Star Fleet carers are what you expect them to be."

Spock packed his PADD and folders back into his satchel. He looked up as he heard the muffled sound of clapping. The seats of the class used to be half full, now it consisted of fifteen students. Most had been on the Enterprise, some were advanced second years and one had been unfit for duty when the distress signal had come. They were stood up and applauding him. He nodded slightly to them and left through the side door so he did not have to pass them.

Spock did not notice much as he walked back to his apartment. He was silently going through lists of the repairs the Enterprise was under going. He also had application forms from those on active duty who wanted to fill the spaces of the lost. He unfortunately knew that some of them just wanted to work under the now famous Jim Kirk as he seemed to be the favourite to take over the captaincy of the Enterprise. Of course there were a lot of people better trained for the job but it was good publicity to have the 'hero' of earth take on the ship that saved Earth. Jim kept saying that it was the whole crew and Spock's own fearless actions that stopped Nero from destroying Earth. Spock had taken him aside and told him that though obviously his contributions to the Nero mission had to be recorded in the proper places but he did not really want any avoidable attention. Jim had understood. He took all the attention on himself handling it well and respectfully always mentioning the need to remember those who had lost their lives and give there family the space they needed to mourn.

Spock did not notice his father stood outside his apartment door until he was nearly upon him. Spock was not expecting to see his father there. They had talked since the Enterprise had returned to earth, usually brief conversations about the organization of the Vulcan survivors. Life had to continue for those left behind, apartments and medical resources had to be found. Details of survivors had to be made and the thousands of orphaned children who had been packed onto ships when the distress signal had spread across the planet had to be placed in foster families. Once temporary measures had been sorted out the elders and Star Fleet officials had turned the conversation to the long term survival of the species. They had not mentioned his mother since their talk in the transporter room.

"Father."

"Spock."

"Do you wish to come in for a cup of tea?"

"I am here to speak to you. A beverage would be appreciated."

Spock opened his apartment and headed for the kitchen. His father followed him. He made tea and they sat across from each other on the table.

"It has been decided that the remaining Vulcan's will find a suitable planet to colonize."

"I suspected that would be the outcome."

"You have not been present at the federation meetings concerning Vulcan."

Spock thought about how best to answer. He still had duties to Star Fleet, but admittedly if he had asked for the time off to attend the meetings he would have been given permission. It was more that he did not wish to attend them. The memory of the destruction of Vulcan still affected him emotionally. He did not wish to show those emotional reactions in front of other Vulcans.

"I was not sure how welcome I would be. " He answered cautiously.

"As a member of Star Fleet or as a half human?"

"Both. "

"You're skills are needed."

" I was never needed By Vulcan. "

"You are now."

Spock withheld a sigh. He had known this conversation was coming. His scientific education and knowledge of ecology and biology would be useful on a new planet. And with so few Vulcans left and a large number of them being children anybody with knowledge in science, federation languages and teaching was going to be considered of great use.

" I will not betray my culture." Spock said slowly. "But I have other responsibilities. Myhelp will most lkl to be indirect or short term."

He could not easily leave the life he had created for himself on Earth, nor the future in Star Fleet with Nyota that he had been expecting.

"There is a meeting tomorrow. I would appreciate your presence and input." Sarek stood up leaving the empty cup on the table. "We would all appreciate you there."

Spock knew that by 'all' his father was referring to the elders who had been on the science academy. Those same people who had seen his mother as a detriment, had seen him as a half breed- half correct. He would neither try to impress them or hold onto the old grudges he felt towards them. It was a different universe now. He had put his life in danger to save them because saving them had ensured the safety of his culture.

He was torn.

This was the survival of his culture.

But this was his life.

"I will attend. But it does not mean that I have made a choice."

Sarek nodded slowly.

"A choice will have to be made at some point Spock. Consider your options carefully, know where your duties lie."

"I do father."

* * *

March 25th

Spock stared at the screen in front of him. He silently cursed his father. He knew that this was partly to do with his interference. It presented him with a difficult decision to make.

Mr. Spock

Due to the current circumstance we wish to notify you of our decision to offer you five years leave. If you wish to take it we ask that you complete your teaching duties before departing. You may also be called upon to act as a liaison between Star Fleet personnel and the new Vulcan colony wherever they choose to settle. We wish for your decision by the 14th of April. If you choose to not take it then you will resume the position upon the U.S.S Enterprise when it departs on the 30th of April.

Sandra McPhee

Head of Staff, Star Fleet Command.

Spock sighed and stood up. He felt so tired. He went to his mediation room. He needed time to think this through.

* * *

April 1st

They had made love. It had been the first time since the distress call; it had been slow and gentle and silent. He was no longer torn. But he was not content with his decision. Nyota's cheek was soft as it nuzzled against his chest. Her slow heartbeat reverberated through his side. They were linked together through this slow heartbeat. They were linked together through their bodies and minds and emotions. The thought of leaving her was painful.

He would go to Vulcan though. He cared about the future survival of his culture. For thousands of years every Vulcan had worked to keep their ethical codes upheld, to pass them on to their children. The ways of logic and knowledge, respect and harmony were the underpinnings of the Vulcan way of life. It was who they were. With Vulcan gone and the majority of the population dead it was an important time for their culture. It was a time where they could pull together and work out the disharmonies and prejudices that had remained with their society. It was a time when they could promote greater following of the philosophy of IDIC, create a society that accepts differences and allows equality for all as Surek had first foreseen. But it was also a time when they could loose all that they were.

He had a desire to stay with Nyota. He had never wanted them to be separated. But he could not ask for her to accompany him. He could not ask her to put her career aside to accompany him. Their duty and responsibilities were taking them in opposite directions. It was as if his Human side and Vulcan side were at war once more. Duty verse want. Love verse logic.

Nyota stretched against him. Unthinkingly he stroked his hand down her back.

"I love you T'hy'la."

* * *

Does this chapter make sense? I've been pretty damn exhausted whilst writing it and I think my judgement is screwed.


	53. The Turbo Lift

Here we are, the last chapter (minus the epilogues), I've put it off for as long as possible. Time to bite the bullet, saying that there's another couple in this ready to bite the bullet. Can you say engagement?

The Turbo Lift

April 7th

The vine restaurant was now familiar and comfortable for both of them. It had been Nyota's idea to come here but one that Spock had readily agreed to. Her stated reasons were that they needed to get out together. The last few weeks had been stressful, their time spent together a mixture between silently giving each other space and needing to be close to each other for comfort. Spock agreed because he knew it was time to talk to her about New Vulcan. This would not be the relaxing pleasant evening that she was hoping for but at least they could enjoy a few hours over food and drinks before he raised the topic.

As Spock led Nyota into the restaurant his hand resting gently on her lower back in the human way he thought about how places can hold memories. This restaurant held memories for him. This was where he and Nyota had come two and half years ago. Thanks giving, they had only been student and teacher then but Spock had felt something for her even then./ A longing he did not understand, all he had known was that he enjoyed her company. He had never suspected how much she would change his life and yet here he was about to give her news that might make her turn from him. He did not believe that she would but he knew it was a possibility. They were both young, both had long year of life ahead of them. Spock wanted to spend them together and although he knew that Nyota loved him would this single matter be asking too much. Even he was unsure, would he really manage five year apart from her? She was his bond mate, they were not meant to be parted. But then he had never wanted to try to fit Nyota, an independent Human woman into a classical Vulcan bonding. He had seen how much it had at times pained his mother and although she had told him many times that she did not regret her decisions he remembered the arguments his parents had in his youth. Nyota respected his Vulcan nature and he respected her Human nature.

* * *

Nyota walked away from him towards the bay, he did not need to ask to know what she was thinking. They sat down together on the dewy grass looking out at the lights twinkling on the water. They had sat like this together at other times too. It seemed like a night where they were treading past footsteps. It seemed appropriate seeing as they would both soon depart to different far off place. Who knew when or if they would ever come back here to San Francisco.

"It is a pleasant night." Spock said. He enjoyed the comfortable silence and sitting next to each other sharing a view and a moment where they were both completely present in the same place, experiencing the same thing. Yet he knew that he must talk to her now. He knew that any other time would seem too late.

"Just tell me what's on your mind Spock."

He turned into her direct stare. She was curious, slightly worried but not negative.

Spock looked down. If he were a Human he would sigh. As it was all he could do was feel the need to hesitate and over come it.

"I have to help with the rebuilding of Vulcan. It is my culture and I owe it most of who I am as a person."

Nyota nodded.

"I know your cultural identity is important to you."

"Even if I were not Vulcan the survival of a species would be important to me as a scientist and a person who is respectful of all life. There is much knowledge to be protected. As a Vulcan it is the heritage passed on to me by my ancestors that I must protect for future generations of my family. I have already been told that due to the circumstances Star Fleet would be willing to give me five years leave."

Nyota was silent for a long time. She stared out across the water her eyes flickering occasionally. With her mind closed off to him there was nothing Spock could do but wait for her to comment.

"When you say rebuilding, do you mean the population?" Nyota asked her voice shaky.

The question surprised him. Did she really think that he would take up with a Vulcan woman out of sense of duty? If that was the case then he would not have started a relationship with her at all. To do so had been directly against Vulcan traditions and the plans his father had made for him as a child. He reached out to rest his hand over hers.

"No." He said gently and clearly. "I would not leave you in that manner. I would not choose another over you. You would never be replaced in my affections Nyota. You do not need to concern yourself with the possibility of me breeding. Due to the lack of Vulcan's they are even more reluctant o contaminate their D.N.A with other strands except perhaps Romulan due to their biological closeness but even though it would give strength to the future generations I doubt that many would opt for it."

"Given the fact that a Romulan was responsible for the destruction of Vulcan I doubt it to."

Nyota said with a slight hint of humour.

They were silent once more. Spock knew that Nyota needed the time to think about what he had said so he waited patiently.

"Five years." She finally sighed flinging her head back and looking up at the stars.

"It is the length of the Enterprise's maiden voyage."

"So.. we marry and then go together?" She asked not looking at him. It was more like she was asking confirmation of his own thoughts than making a suggestion herself.

Spock shook his head

"I cannot ask you.." Spock trailed off thinking just how much he really did want to ask her to come with him.

"You cannot ask me what?"

"To give up your career, or put off your career. On the enterprise you would progress quickly."

"Spock!" Nyota gasped, he could sense the surprise and fear and hurt in her now. Now she had fully realized what he was telling her.

"I can also not ask you to wait."

"You're breaking up with me?"

Spock turned to her. It was his turn to be surprised. He did not expect her to turn to that conclusion.

"That would be impossible for me to do. I do not wish to leave you. It pains me to consider being separated from you. But I have a duty..."

Nyota grabbed his shoulder her fingers slightly painful in the suddenness and strength of the grasp.

"You are not leaving me Spock."

"I have made the decision Nyota, I must help with the rebuilding of Vulcan. I would have hoped that you would respect the decision even if you do not like it."

She was shaking her head as he spoke a strange half smile gracing her lips as if she were laughing at him.

"That is not what I'm saying, physically, yes you are leaving me. I understand and yes as you know I do not like it but as you said I do respect it."

"Then I do not understand your previous statement."

Nyota shuffled up towards him and rested her head against his shoulder.

"You know, Five years is five years. and I will get leave at some point and I'm sure that there will be some times when the Enterprise is required to make deliveries to the new Vulcan colony."

"Undoubtedly. But it would be long period without us seeing each other, perhaps over a year at a time."

"I know. But I'm in this as long as you are."

"I could not proceed in any other fashion."

* * *

April 22nd

Every moment they spent together was precious. Every word seemed to hold some more importance. The fact that they did not have much time together seemed to be forever over their heads. They made love every night, sometimes passionately, sometimes slowly with hands holding each other close and words quietly whispered. They swam together in the mornings and meet up every lunchtime. In the evenings they would listen to music and talk and on their spare days they would hike. However much they tried to hold onto the passing days time continued to run out.

Then one day the orders came through. In three weeks the Enterprise would be repaired and stocked and ready to go. There would be a short ceremony and the next day it would set of on it's five year journey taking Nyota and leaving Spock himself on Earth.

Nyota talked happily that night. She talked about the people she would be serving with and the exploratory nature of the mission. Spock's emotions on the matter were mixed. He was glad that she was happy and that he had made the right decision for both of them, or for her at least. But he was also sad. There was no other word for it. He was sad.

Nyota said that she wanted an early night, too much excitement. He nodded, though he knew every moment was precious he needed to meditate and gain some more control over these emotions. He was taking the logical course of action after all. He kissed Nyota on the cheek and wished her a good night then went into his mediation room.

The sand dunes of old Vulcan loomed ahead of him. He knew he would never see these familiar places of his youth again but they were at least securely saved in his mind. He wondered how they would ever find a place like Vulcan, a ruined planet mind and scotched in it's infancy but still a home the Vulcan race had adapted to until it had become a part of them.

"Spock?"

Spock turned at the familiar voice. He saw a figure, clear as if he had seen her only a blink of the eyes before, thin blue dress rustling slightly as if stirred by a phantom wind.

"Mother?"

She stepped forwards.

"You're memory of her." She said gently.

Spock nodded.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you wished for me to be. You wished for guidance. Guidance you used to seek from me."

"But you are only a memory."

"You know in your mind what I would tell you."

"And that is?"

"You are missing something Spock."

Spock did feel the strange sensation that there was something he should have realized.

"How is Nyota?"

"She is excited to be going on her first mission."

"Is she?"

Spock thought about the question. He could feel Nyota in this state when he wished too. Sometimes he saw her in amongst the dunes wondering and searching as he did. Now when he thought about her he could feel a great sorrow that was not his own.

"Go to her Spock."

Spock opened his eyes to find himself in his dark red meditation room. The sticks of essence had burnt out but had left that cool spicy fragrance behind. They were the last he had, the lace where they were made no longer existed and this could be the last time he smelt the fragrance so connected to his youth. He said a silent goodbye to another part of Vulcan and got up to go into the bedroom.

He could hear Nyota's quiet sobbing. He stopped outside the door and for a moment allowed his hands and forehead on the cool metal. He wished he knew how to comfort her, he wished he knew of a solution that did not hurt so much and he wished that he was not tied by duty. But wishing was illogical, their decisions had been made, all that they could do was make the best of the situation by concentrating for a while upon improving themselves individually.

He pushed the pad for the door to open. Nyota immediately held her breath as if trying to hide the sobbing from him. All the excited chatter of the day had been a rouse to keep him from knowing what she was feeling. She must have closed down the link slightly as well. She didn't want him to feel guilty or forced into changing his mind. She didn't know just how much he wished he could.

He padded across the room and disrobed before lying on the bed. She stayed still. He reached out and touched her shoulder feeling the silken straps of her nightgown and cool flesh.

"I know you are sad. Do not hide your emotions from me. I wish to be able to support you in your discomfort."

Nyota let out a sob and reached up to hold his hand.

"I'm going to miss you."

* * *

April 24th

"What is it?" Nyota asked wrapping her arms around Spock's waist and glancing over his shoulder at the thick piece of cream paper he was holding.

_Captain Christopher Pike_

_And_

_Lieutenant Sarah Greenland_

_Invite you to their wedding and after party_

_To take place in_

_San Francisco music hall._

_On_

_May 4th_

Scribbled below the indented silver writing in Chris's messy scrawl was written 'Yeah I know it's soon Spock, but hey, we're all getting older and we've loved each other for years.'

"Captain Pike is getting married?" Nyota asked rather stunned.

"Yes." Spock asked. He his lips twitch and he turned around to kiss Nyota.

His best friend was getting married and he was happy for him. He had been worried that after being paralysed Chris would grow depressed. Instead he was leading his life the way that he wanted to not held back anymore by duty. He had found a sort of freedom and happiness.

* * *

May 4th

The music hall had been standing since the early 1920's it had survived three world wars and the great San Francisco fire. Chris had said his reason for picking it was that he hoped his marriage would survive as much and the worn and yet to be repaired mouldings and flaky paintings was perfect for two people getting married at their time of life.

The hall had a high ceiling and was spacious with a curving roof, a stage and a balcony with seating. Apparently there was also a brilliant bar at back. It had been filled with rows of seats for the wedding and decorated with white and yellow roses.

Spock had chosen to wear his dress uniform, Nyota had one for a simple black dress stating that women should always dress slightly down for wedding's unless they were in the wedding party.

As they entered the full and cheerfully loud room Spock caught sight of Christopher. He was in his chair near a (admittedly pretty and younger looking that actually possible) tall red haired woman. She wore a whit suite with knee length skirt and a wide open smile. Chris looked across the room and met his eyes. He took his future wife's hand and she bent down so that he could whispered something to her and then he headed across to where Spock was standing in the entrance way.

"Hey."

"Christopher, congratulations."

"Come here."

Chris tugged him down sharply pulling him into an uncomfortable half bent over bear hug. Spock tried not to tense as he patted his shoulder. He was not comfortable with the display of friendly affection in such a open place.

"Ah, if anybody asks just tell them I'm already drunk."

Chris said laughing at Spock's expression as he pulled back.

"Are you already drunk Captain?" Nyota asked as Chris grabbed and kissed her hand.

"I've only had one Mrs Spock, just to calm the nerves." Chris winked at her.

"Can I steal your partner?"

"It depends if you're going to get him drunk again."

"Not till later, I need a best man. And there's only one person I want."

"I am honoured." Spock said truly meaning it.

"Thank you Spock." Chris clapped him on the shoulder. "You just have to stand next to me and make sure I don't do a runner. Not that I can. You don't have to give a speech, in fact I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"I did not prepare a speech but I do have some interesting facts about marriage traditions across different species."

"Like I said. I'll take a miss."

* * *

Nyota sleepily rested her head against Spock's shoulder as they swayed lightly to the music. She had perhaps had one or two drinks more than was wise and didn't seem to have the energy to keep dancing but whenever Spock suggested she sit down she just shook her head and pulled him closer.

"Mind if I cut in?"

Chris and Sarah Pike were coming towards them. Nyota pulled away and leant in to kiss Sarah on the cheek.

"It was a beautiful ceremony."

"Thank you."

"I was hoping we could swap partners." Chris said.

"Swapping me for a younger model already." Sarah laughed.

"I'd be glad to." Nyota said.

She walked behind Chris to a empty spot on the dance floor.

Spock closed off his telepathic receptors and offered Sarah Pike his hand. She took it and the started in an easy waltz.

"You make strange friends you know Mr. Spock, but Christopher tells me you are the best man he knows."

"The regard is mutual."

She smiled brightly at him.

"You are going to Vulcan?"

"Yes."

"With that pretty young lady?" She asked glancing toward Nyota who was laughing as Chris tried to spin his chair.

"No. She is going on the Enterprise."

She paused for a moment and gave him a curious glance. Spock increased pressure on her waist for a second to remind her to keep dancing.

"I believe the phrase is long distance relationship."

She smiled.

"Mr Spock. Take it from somebody who knows, a career is a fantastic thing, loving your job is a fantastic thing. But loving anther person is worth so much more. You will get too old for the job and you will suddenly realize that it wasn't worth it because you have nobody to share those memories with. Chris and I had a second chance, well a fifth, but you might not get those chances."

Spock nodded.

"All situations are different."

"Not as different as you think."

The music ended and Chris was walking toward them to reclaim his wife.

"Make him happy."

"I will."

"Make her happy."

Spock thought about how that was all he wanted for a long time. To make Nyota happy but he had failed lately.

* * *

May 14th

The last bags had been sent the day before. Spock had made a healthy and stomach friendly breakfast so Nyota would not get turbulence sickness. As they sat across from each other they didn't seem able to think of anything to talk about. Finally Nyota took a deep breathe and put her spoon down. She didn't look at him as she spoke.

"I'll save up all my holiday time for the first year and then hope that we're close enough in the galaxy to meet up somewhere."

Spock nodded.

"It won't be easy."

"No it won't. Be aware that the link may weaken over a large distance."

Nyota nodded.

"We've had a lot of goodbyes."

"And there have always been hellos afterwards."

Nyota gave a weak smile.

"Do you wish me to accompany you to the hanger?"

"No. Don't you have some work to do?"

"Yes, but I would still come if you had wished it."

Nyota smiled and went up to him. She kissed him on the cheek and Spock could feel the tears damp on her cheeks.

"I have to report in now. Bye Spock."

"Nyota." Spock reached out to take her hands.

"Please don't Spock. I'll be fine once I've got on the ship. I just can't… can't face saying goodbye to you."

Spock nodded. They had held each other throughout the night whispering promises of love and exploring each others minds and bodies. He would let her have what she felt she needed now.

"Your personal message schedule is every seventh star date." Spock said.

On Star ships with such large crews their were set times and days that messages could be sent out so as not to overtax the computers.

"I know. I'll e-mail you every Wednesday."

"As will I."

Nyota wiped a tear from her face and kissed him one last time longingly and sweetly and then turned to leave.

Spock felt a deep emptiness at her departure.

* * *

May 14th

Spock was running through the duty list with the star fleet officers going out on a science expedition. They were going to take advantage of the Enterprise warp eight drive and ride their warps stream. When he was confident that they fully understood their orders he left intending to go back to his apartment and give himself time to adjust to it's emptiness.

As he walked through the bay he felt a familiar telepathic presence. He stopped for a moment to try and figure out where he knew it from, to feel it so powerfully it must be a Vulcan he had known for a long time but he obviously didn't know him well enough to identify them immediately. He continued walking glancing around. The shuttle bay was full of the last members to be taken out to the Enterprise. He found himself not wanting to look at them, he knew Nyota had already left and he wondered how long it would take for the pain in his side to stop. He potted a tall robed figure watching the taking off of one of the shuttles. A Vulcan, familiar to him. He thought for a second that it was his father and wondered why he was in the hanger when he was supposed to be in a meeting. He speed up and followed him.

"Father?"

The older Vulcan turned around. There was something vary familiar about his features but Spock knew he had never meet him before. That in itself was odd as there were not many elderly Vulcan's on Earth. The resources had been put to saving the young and the healthy that could still breed.

"I am not our father." There are so few Vulcan's left, we cannot afford to ignore each other."

It was the word 'our' that made it click in Spock's mind. He was looking at an older version of himself. He could see his features now, his Human eyes in the Vulcan face.

It all made sense but without the evidence in front of him his mind would not have accepted it. He knew that Kirk had hidden some kind of knowledge from him. Mainly how he had gotten back on board the Enterprise. And the red matter ship had known him.

Spock took a step forwards intrigued by this older duplicate. He, the older him took this as a sign to approached and strolled over to him talking as he walked.

There are so few Vulcans left, we cannot afford to ignore each other."

"Then why did you send Kirk aboard, when you alone could have explained the truth?"

"Because, you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together. Of a friendship, that would define you both, in ways you cannot yet realize."

He tried to hid his confusion at these words. he would think them over later.

"How did you persuade him to keep your secret?"

" He inferred that universe-ending paradoxes would ensue should he break his promise."

"You lied. "

"Oh, I... I implied." He hesitated, rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows. He was so comfortable with the Human gestures. Spock wondered if he could ever act like that? To be so comfortable with his Human half.

" A gamble?" He asked.

"An act of faith. One I hope that you will repeat in the future at Starfleet. "

" In the face of extinction, it is only logical I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race."

"And yet, you can be in two places at once. I urge you to remain in Starfleet. I have already located a suitable planet on which to establish a Vulcan colony. Spock, in this case, do yourself a favour. Put aside logic. Do what feels right. "

The older him turned away and walked a few steps before turning back.

"Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self-serving, I shall simply say good luck." He held his hand up in the traditional Vulcan farewell and Spock still shocked at the fact that an older version of him had wished him luck, an illogical concept that he did not assign to held his hand up in reply.

Spock stayed standing the shuttle bay for a long time. He had just meet another version of himself. That should make him question a lot of things, make new conclusions on reality and the possibility of writing new papers as he had just proved the existence of alternate realities.

But he did not think of these things. He thought of the advice that the older version had given him. The other Spock was not him per se, but he had some of his memories and was an elder with more life experience, he had been able to lie, to take acts of faith and put aside logic. He was the only other half Human half Vulcan in existence. And he had told him to remain in Star Fleet. He knew the way that Spock's life could turn out he knew the paths that were available for him and having lived one of those available life's he had urged him upon a specific path. Star Fleet, or Nyota. Spock did not really know how much the other him knew.

Spock pressed his communicator.

"Depree?"

"Yes Sir."

"Are there any more shuttles with free places going to the Enterprise?"

"Just loading up the last one Sir. It'll be ready to leave in thirty seconds."

"Stop that shuttle."

"What sir?"

"Delay the shuttle till I get there. That is an order."

* * *

The turbo lift doors slide open and he found himself on the bridge of the Enterprise. He looked around, the fractures to the view screen and roof had been repaired well. Spock could see signs that the entire ceiling plate had been replace. His eyes drifted to Nyota. She was looking at him with surprise. He sent a small pulse for affection trough their link as a welcoming. Then he turned to Jim Kirk. He looked like a Captain, comfortable in his seat, confident and ready for whatever may come.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain."

" Permission granted. " Jim answered with a smile.

"As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully, I would like to submit my candidacy. Should you desire, I can provide character references. "

"It would be my honour." Jim gave him a companionable smile before turning to Sulu.

Spock went to sit in the science station, that had been the easiest position he'd ever got. Apparently Kirk was still feeling some kind of loyalty towards him due to their shared experiences. Spock had to admit they had worked well together and despite his first impressions could see them working well together in the future. It seemed the older version of him's predictions were already starting to come true.

"Commander." Kirk said turning to Sulu. "Manoeuvring thrusters, Mister Sulu."

"Thrusters on standby."

"Take us out."

"Aye aye, Captain.**"**

There was that slight discomfort as they went to warp. Spock watched the engine monitor. All clear, the Enterprise was definitely fixed. He waited ten minutes, his heartbeat thumping in his ears. He was nervous, though he knew there was no reason to be. This was what Chris called a grand gesture. All systems were working fine. He could leave his station with good cause. He knew that to not ask the Captain would be a bad start to his new position but a long time study of Human behaviour told him that he would be forgiven.

He stood up and walked over to Nyota's station. She smiled up at him with the widest most beautiful smile he had seen in two months. She opened her mouth to speak but then looked around realizing that they had to be careful about showing their relationship, though of course everybody on the bridge already knew. Yes, members of the ship were allowed to date and on long missions it was accepted that it happened but it was good manners to keep it quiet and not let it affect the way they worked. They both knew how to keep professional around each other they had three years of practise.

You changed you're mind

Nyota's inner voice was high pitched and happy.

Yes, I apologize that it took so long.

But what about Vulcan?

There is another who can fill my place. However there is nobody else to fill the place at your side.

The science station?

Nyota joked.

No, your bondmate. Come with me.

Spock was already walking to the turbo lift. Not the most romantic of places but it was private and they would not be absent long enough to cause serious concern.

What? Nyota seemed surprised and puzzled but she got up and followed him. He pressed the button to close the doors of the turbo lift and took a step towards Nyota so that there was only a few inches between their bodies.

"Spock where are we going?"

"I do not know I have not read our mission orders yet though it seems we are heading in the direction of Ghotti's nebula."

Nyota stared at him and shook her head. He continued to talk.

"I cannot be separated from you for five years or even a year. I cannot be separated from you for a single moment."

He reached into his pocket and took out the small ring box that had been lying untouched in his bedside cabinet for several months. He saw Nyota's eyes widen as he knelt down in front of her on one knee. She gasped when he flipped the lid open.

"Nyota Uhura, Will you marry me and become my legal wife and travel to new Vulcan to receive the full bonding ceremony as soon as it is possible to do so?"

There were tears standing n Nyota's eyes she blinked a couple of times. She opened her lips to speak but as she did so the noise of the turbo lift doors opening made her turn around.

Doctor McCoy and Captain Kirk were stood on the other side of the door looking in stunned open mouthed silence between the two of them.

Spock reached up and pressed the door closed button again.

"Occupied, please take the lift to your left." Spock said as the doors slide shut leaving them alone again.

"Spock that was the Captain." Nyota said turning back to him.

"Nyota I require an answer, or if you require time to consider.."

Nyota's arms were flung round his neck knocking him backward, her soft body pressed against his.

"Yes, yes of course, I .. Spock.. I . Yes."

Spock smiled. He pushed her gently away from him so that he could capture her lips in a kiss. One of may they would share over the course of their lives but it didn't make it any less special.

He pulled away.

"I love you Nyota."

"I love you Spock."

Nyota kissed him again hungrily. The kiss was so intense that Spock barely noticed the turbo lift doors opening and Captain Kirk's voice ask "Well, did she say yes."

Nyota must have noticed though because her hand reached up for the close door button once again.

"With all due respect Captain. The lift is OCCUPIED!" She said breathlessly between kisses.

* * *

Jim Kirk stared in disbelief at the door of the turbo lift. Had he really just seen his unemotional newly appointed second in command making out on the floor of a turbo lift? He knew this mission was going to bring surprises but they had only just left dock. He turned to look at Bones. He was grinning.

"I really can see myself being friends with that guy. He's not a big and arse as I first thought."

"Should I record the insubordination?" Jim asked.

"Nah, nobody heard it."

Jim turned to look around his bridge. All eyes were turned to him and the turbo lift. It was obvious that everybody had seen some glimpse of what was going on in the lift. Their faces ranged from confused, to happy, to holding back fits of child like giggles.

"It was a one off. And special circumstances, call it my wedding present." Jim said loudly enough for it to be heard He Didn't want his crew to think they could all get away with hogging turbo lifts for personal reasons.

"Shit looks like I'm going to be performing a wedding. I would never have thought I'd be doing that."

"Nor did I." Bones agreed.

"I'm going to loose my rep."

"There are always bridesmaids Jim boy."

"Oh yeah."

Jim smiled. He imagined that Nyota Uhura soon to be Mrs. Spock had some very attractive friends.

The end (kind of).

Got a few epilogue chapters to go.


	54. One year later The Wedding

Epilogue One of Three (The wedding)

One year later.

Spock tried to open his eyes but there was a sudden surge of pain when the light hit his retina and he had to close them again. His mouth was dry and he had no recollection of the night before but by the feel of the material below him he wasn't in his bed. He also had the distinct achy feeling that suggested he had thrown up for the third time in his life. He concentrated through the slight fogginess in his mind and close off his pain receptors then opened his eyes again.

They were in a strange room, six beds lined up on the far wall , a sofa that he was lying on and a large screen on one side. It looked almost like an Earth room but they were still light years from Earth. Besides the room was filthy their were empty bottles and snack packets everywhere. One thing he was sure of was that this was not the Enterprise. Sulu, McCoy, Checkov, Scotty, Kretcher and Jim were all lying collapsed on the beds. Though not in the right directions and not all of them on separate beds. It also seemed as if McCoy had lost his shoes and one sock. Scotty all his clothes except a pair of shorts that were blue with bright yellow stars. Jim had managed to loose his shirt and had some kind of pen marks over his skin. He was lying facing Spock with his eyes open and gave Spock a shaky smile.

"Hey you're awake."

"Captain, I believe that we have been drugged and kidnapped again."

It would be the third time since their mission began exactly one year and five weeks previously.

"It's your stag party you green blooded fool." McCoy growled from somewhere beneath the covers of one of the beds.

"Stag party? I have no recollection of a stag party."

"I think he shall be happy for that fact , yes?" Checkov said stirring from where he lay half way across the still unconscious Sulu.

"You had a lot of Vulcan port."

"That would explain my current condition."

"The memories will come back eventually." McCoy informed him.

"Thank you Doctor, I have only one question. Where are my pants?"

* * *

Spock was not leaning against Doctor McCoy. To do so would lack dignity. No, he much preferred to believe that Doctor McCoy was leaning against him, the other man had clearly been intoxicated the night before. Spock was starting to regain some of his memories and he does remember the Doctor doing the limbo under the upheld legs of two limber scantily dressed Relli dancers. The doctor placed his hand on the door pad to his and Nyota's apartment. The door slid smoothly open to reveal Nyota sat on the small couch reading an old paper back book. Despite it having been her Hen party the night before she looked well rested and in good health although her hair was damp from obviously just getting out of the shower. She smiled at him and the doctor her hand unconsciously going up to her mouth to hold back a giggle. Spock loved to hear her giggle, It was one of the most wonderful sounds in the universe but it did not sound so good when he knew that she was giggling because he had done something unwise. She stood up and walked over to them hooking her arm around Spock so that he could lean some of his body weight on her instead of the doctor.

"Did you have a good night?" She asked him.

"I do not know."

He again saw hr wide smile.

"Well al I can say is I'm really glad you cut the link off last night, I don't think I would survive you're hangover as well as mine.

He looked down at her, his eyes slightly blurry for some reason.

"You have a hangover?" He asked confused as she did not seem to be showing any obvious signs.

"Yeah doctor B'genda gave me a shot for it and told me to drink a lot of water it seems to be working. I don;t know if it would work on a chocolate hangover though."

Spock groaned.

"Hau, I've never seen a Vulcan groan." McCoy said sounding bemused. "How was your hen night?"

"Good we stuck to the pub on the other side of the island. Had an Orion pool party."

"Did you do any Orion Dancing?"

"Len, I'm an almost bonded woman you know."

McCoy laughed, it was like a knife to Spock's brain.

"He's got three days to sober up before we hit new Vulcan." McCoy said smirking.

"He'll be fine. Come on lets get you too bed." Nyota said pulling him slightly away from the door.

"Hey, shouldn't you two be waiting till its official?" McCoy asked with a laugh. "For going traditions, honestly weirdest Vulcan I ever had the pleasure of meeting."  
Spock concentrated on keeping his feet moving forwards as he was led into the bedroom. He heard the door sliding shut behind them and could have sighed with relief that McCoy had left.

"So, you and McCoy seem to be getting on better than usual.

"Chocolate makes a lot of people seem less of an irritation."

"Please tell me you didn't kiss him?" Nyota said with a small chuckle.

Spock found himself groaning again.

* * *

Spock felt the heat of a double sun on his face. When he breathed in the dry air it carried the scent of the twisted tumble bushes, charred smelling like burnt oak. Here on the edge of the settlement he could pick up the slight scent of cooking spices and wisps of some new kind of incense sickly sweet unlike those he used to favor. They were almost the scents of his youth, his counterpart had picked this planet well. He felt her presence close by and then he hand on his shoulder.

"I only visited Vulcan once but it seems rather similar." Nyota said.

Spock opened his eyes and turned to her.

"Yes Nyota. There are many similarities. My people shall grow to accept this place as a new home."

"Will you?"

"The Enterprise is my home."

She smiled, it had been a rare occurrence in the last few days. Not because she lacked contentment but out of respect. The Enterprise had been dropping off vaccinations against a certain type of animal bite that had been the cause of death of a few young Vulcan's. It caused fevers that were particularly dangerous to infants. The federation had taken the opportunity of the Enterprises visit to run several meetings and checks on the new population. Spock and Nyota's full bonding ceremony though at the forefront of both their minds it was a foot note for the rest of the crew on their visit.

"How do you feel?" Spock asked having long since grown to understand the importance of these words for a Human woman.

"A little nervous."

"It is still what you want?"

Instead of answering she lifted his hand and ran her fingers down his. He closed his eyes again to full emerge himself in that wonderful comforting and tingling feeling.

"Of course it is Spock." She sighed. "It's just all the traditions, I'm afraid of deign something wrong."

He turned in her arms without opening his eyes, he did not need sight to find that small spot on her neck that she liked to have kissed.

"I do not fear that. I believe it will go well."

They stayed in each others arms for a few more moments before Nyota pulled away.

"Come on, it's time."

Spock and Nyota walked side by side through the settlement. Eleven months after the first settlers arrived the village was growing. There were some small stone buildings half completed, a few deeply dug wells that were the reason for the area being chosen but mostly the village still consisted of the half metal plated half tent like buildings that had been packed into large containers and shipped to the planet for it's easy construction. Though it had been agreed that the children should remain on earth until better medical facilities and some form of school had been constructed there were still the cried of babies coming from a few of the tent like structures. Those young healthy Vulcan's who had come here to start rebuilding the culture had found that they were somewhat differently affected by the new planet and their had been a sudden rise in bonding ceremonies and births on the new planet that was rather surprising to those outsiders who wondered why Vulcan's suddenly seemed to be acting illogical.

It was Nyota who first saw the familiar figure leaning on a walking stick by a well. She reached to touch Spock's hand and alerted him to the figure. Spock held back the sudden rush of joy he felt at the sight. Knowing he needed a moment to compose himself Nyota increased her steps till she was stood in front of the grey haired Human.

"Chris, you look fantastic."

Chris turned to look at her.

"Mrs Spock! You're a sight for sore eyes." Chris responded as Nyota bent to kiss his cheek.

She looked down at his walking stick. Chris followed her gaze.

"Ah yeah. All thanks to those newfangled regrowth injections. Painful as hell but I'm getting there."

Spock had managed to control his happiness and approached his older friend.

"Christopher."

"Spock." Chris took a few steps forwards and wrapped Spock in a bear hug. "Good too see you looking so well old friend."

"I assure you the feeling is mutual. How was your journey?"

"Good, we're both glad to get off planet again. Retirement is boring, I might just decide to settle here. It would be interesting to see a new world built right in front of my eyes."

"I was under the impression you would be traveling back towards the Laurentian system with the Enterprise and then onwards to Earth with Nyota's parents."

"That hasn't changed. I'm still not fit enough to spend any long amount of time in a desert. But after another year or so it's a possibility."

Spock nodded.

"I am sure you would be of much use here."

"I would never have thought of a frontier town as a good retirement home."

"You're never too old for an new adventure." Chris said with a wink. "Now, it's almost time isn't it? Shouldn't we be heading to find the ambassador?"

Spock nodded his agreement.

"My father resides close to the medical facilities."

"Let's go then."

The three of them continued through the small settlement towards the medical facilities, easily the most well developed part of town. There was a small group already waiting for them outside of Sarek's small tented apartment. Sarek was of course easily distinguishable from a distance in his orange ceremonial robes similar to Spock's. Among them also was Susanna a young woman from the communication party who was very close to Nyota building a friendship with her almost as close as that she had shared with Galia. Though unlike Galia she was rather quiet and studious and enjoyed nights of cards and talking over dinner. Then there was Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy there to accompany Spock as per tradition.

"Chris, Jim, McCoy, thank you for coming to stand with me . I appreciate your companionship." Spock said once he was close enough for them to hear him.

"Ah, don't get all sentimental on us now." McCoy said.

Spock came to stop next to his father, despite him having been in orbit around Vulcan for three days they had only talked briefly over the com systems to finalize details.

"It is good to see you son, You are healthy?"

"Yes father, how is the climate treating you?"

"Kindly, it is much like Vulcan, perhaps a few degrees colder on average, yet the nights are not so severe."

"Yes, I also have observed this." Spock said.

"Our clan is too diminished to consider making our own ceremonial site at the moment. None have decided to do so, all clans are using the same site."

Spock nodded.

"And we have a new elder appointed to carry out the bonding and other such ceremonies. A male."

Spock felt his eyebrows quirk upwards.

"Female has always been traditional." He stated to acknowledge the strangeness of this fact.

"Yes, but it is time to allow a few small changes. He is much respected, he picked out this planet. Though where he came from before the end of Vulcan nobody knows, he was unheard of. His name is Sevek." Sarek hesitated as if trying to find the correct wording to express his thoughts. " He is a little different, it is as if he has spent a lot of time with a more emotional race but there is something familiar about him."

Spock nodded slowly trying not to reveal his surprise. He knew that the man who had picked out this planet was the version of himself from the future. The fact that he was half Human and had spent his life around Humans was the obvious reason for his seeming emotionality and the fact that he was an older version of Spock explained that familiarity that Sarek felt around him. Spock could not show his surprise that his father had come into seemingly frequent contact with this man though, what truly happened on the day Vulcan was destroyed was only known by three people. And two of them were himself.

"I am sure he will be suitable."

The idea of his elder self bonding Nyota and him was strange but not unpleasant. After all, if anybody was going to glimpse a part of his mind it felt comforting that it was somebody who already had some understanding of it and would not have distaste for the Human aspects of his nature.

"Nyota, my daughter in law, do you require anything before setting off?" Sarek asked Nyota respectfully. Nyota was wearing plain blue robes that would help keep her cool on the desert planet. White was traditional but the off blue color was what was brought to this planet, they were unadorned but Nyota had pointed out that she would not ask for anything that could not be provided on this planet. It was a Vulcan ceremony and they would do as all Vulcan's must do these days and only stick to the most important parts of the ceremony. After all at the base of it a bonding was a permanent tying of minds the rest was just the ever changing fashions of civilization.

"No." Nyota said turned to Spock with a smile. "I have everything I need."

Sarek nodded.

"The place is over an hour by walking and as most of our party are not suited to the terrain I have procured a vehicle." As he spoke there came a small rumbling noise and a dust cloud on the horizon. As it got closer Spock worked out that it was a large hovercraft designed for maybe a dozen people to sit comfortably.

"This should have us there within twenty minutes the exact time depending upon the driver."

"Oh Can I have a go?" Jim asked excitedly.

"You do not know the way." Sarek said calmly, Spock doubted anybody else could hear the slight bemusement in his voice.

Spock helped Nyota up into the hovercraft glad that it was enclosed so that they would not have to put up with the irritation of the sand in their eyes. It was not a comfortable vehicle to ride in due to it being rather bumpy as they traveled over the sand drifts. Their driver was a star fleet cadet on placement and given his driving style Sarek commented that they were likely to get to the site in just over twelve minutes. They were a content party, Susana tried to engage Spock in a conversation about the traditions of Vulcan weddings but had to shout over the rumble the engines made. Chris, McCoy and Jim kept trying to make jokes and on several occasions tried out some sexual puns to see if Sarek would notice. Nyota blushed and batted at McCoy on several occasions but Spock still did not feel the need to tell his friends that his father had been married to a Human for thirty years and was fully aware of what they were speaking about. His friends jovial nature was their way of celebrating his upcoming bonding, they were happy as they knew that he was happy.

Spock knew when they were at the right place before the vehicle started to slow. The shining red granite outcrop stretched like a two hundred foot thorn in front of them. It felt exactly like the sort of place that the ancient Vulcans would wish to claim for their own clans. As they got closer Spock saw a glint of silver that soon turned into a clear pool of water. He was wring, the ancient Vulcan's would have slaughtered each other for this place, water was almost sacred on Vulcan before they learnt to detect and drill for water.

"It's beautiful." Nyota whispered to him.

"It is." Spock agreed.

"Wow, isn't that a sight." McCoy said.

They parked up a few moments later, as Spock was helping Nyota and Samantha get down without tripping on their robes he noticed Jim smiling from out the corner of his eye. He turned to follow his gaze and saw the older version of himself approaching them. Despite the fact that he had known of the other existence for over a year it still sent a chill down his spine.

"Oh this is just too weird." Jim said coming close enough to whisper to Spock. Nyota looked around having heard.

"What is? Oh, he looks familiar, have I meet him before?"

"You have no idea." Jim said.

"Spock, what's he talking about?"

"It is nothing to be concerned about, just a mutual acquaintance of Jim and I." He let go of Nyota's hands and walked over to his older self. He was a little surprised to see the older him smile.

"Greetings Spock, beautiful day is it not?"

"It is Sevek." Spock said trying to recall the name his father had given him.

"I hope you did not mind that I volunteered to officiate. I find myself somewhat disconnected."

"I understand. I would be glad to stay in contact with you but I would not wish to be comparing my life with yours."

"The paths have already seperated."

"I am on the Enterprise as you were. May I thank you for that advice it has seen me well."

"Yes, but I never married."

Spock felt his eyebrows heading upwards. It was slightly strange to know that the other him did not marry Nyota, yet comforting, he was his own person.

"This must be strange for you."  
"No, I have no regrets for how I lived my life. The crew became my family and they were all I felt I needed."

Spock nodded.

"May I greet your wife."

"Yes, have you meet before?"

"Yes, she was a friend. I greatly appreciated her company. We did have a few moments when It appeared to me that more would be possible but we never pursued it. We were both too dedicated to our work."

Spock nodded. They walked together over to Nyota.

"Nyota, this is Sevek. He is officiating the bonding."

"Pleased to meet you Sevek. Thank you for coming out here, How did you get here?"

"I walked, I enjoy a stroll."

Her eyes widened slightly as Sevek offered her his hand yet she took it in hers.

"Stroll, that is such a Human word. Have you spent much time on earth?"

"Oh, a little. But I spent a lot of time traveling in a crew of mainly Humans."

"Oh, you were on a ship?"

"Yes, a very grand one at that. Now, enough about me, it is your wedding day and I have not yet complimented you on how beautiful you look."

"Oh thank you." Nyota blushed slightly.

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Uh.. yes."

"Do not cut your hair, short would not suite you nearly as much."

"Sure." Nyota said with a wide smile.

**_Spock, is he slightly..._**

**_A little eccentric perhaps but I believe he means well._**

Spock had noticed that his father had led the rest of the group over to a carved stone in the middle where an instrument hung down.

"If you wish to make me fight to the death for the privilege of bonding with you you hit that instrument."

"I'll consider it."

"There used to be a high number of deaths during the kun-ut kali-fi ceremony."

"Spock." Nyota said squeezing his hand. "I know the history of the ceremony and I'm sorry to say you're being a bit of a buzz kill at the moment."

"I apologize for killing your Buzz."

Nyota gave a short laugh that she tried to hide.

They came to stand with each other in front of the elder Spock looking toward the beautiful silver pool that reflected the red of the granite that loomed above it.

"As you have a developed bond and not one created as children I have made some necessary changes." The elder Spock turned to the Human party who were stood off to the side. "I am about to start the ceremony in Vulcan so If you wish to understand please turn your translators on soon."

"Spock."

Spock nodded and went to the standing stone and picked up the stick that was resting against it. He hit the instrument twice signaling the start of the ceremony.

Spock went back to stand with Nyota.

Sevek looked around at those gathered and spoke with a deep voice.

"What you are about to see comes down from the time of the Beginning. This is the Vulcan heart, this is the Vulcan soul - this is our way. Kali Farr!"

Nyota smiled slightly and looked around. Jim and McCoy were shrugging at each other not knowing that the time for challenge had been called.

" Well that's good." Sevek said winking at Nyota who again giggled slightly.

"As it is not your time Spock there will be no observation of mating."

"Thank you."

"Wait what?"

"Jim, please refrain from any outbursts during the ceremony." Sevek said fondly to the rather fondly.

"Now, young ones, do you consent to the full bonding?"

"Yes." Spock answered.

"Yes." Nyota followed.

"Well, come kneel before me."

Spock and Nyota kneeled before Sevek and closed their eyes. Spock felt Nyota;'s hand reaching out to touch his and squeezed it.

"Do not be nervous Miss Uhura." Sevek said gently as Spock felt his hand come to rest against his forehead.

There was a gentle probing in his mind, Spock knew that he had to open himself up or this to work. He took a deep breath and opened his mind as much as he was able to. Then it was like a flood. Nyota flooded him, her feelings, her memories the general sense of her. He felt her slight pain and her sense of being overwhelmed. He managed to find himself enough to find her hand and squeeze and suddenly she felt calmer. The flood stopped as soon as it started and Spock found himself in the strangest position of knowing that his mind was no longer his own. He knew more about Nyota than he had known before.

His hands were trembling slightly but Nyota was there in his mind supporting him.

He opened his eyes and saw his older self smiling down at him. He turned his head to the left and saw his father and his friends nodding at him then to the right and he saw warm chocolate eyes and a wide smile and he found himself smiling too.

"It is done." Sevek said warmly. "Congratulations Spock son of Sarek."

"Hello Spock." Nyota said warmly. When Spock turned to look at her curious as to her sudden need to say this he saw that instead of looking at him she was looking at the elder version of himself.

* * *

Nyota had spent the night with her parents. Spock knew that she would be surrounded by them as they helped her to get dressed and gave them words of advice as was traditional. That being the case Spock had been on his own for the first night in almost eighteen months. He had found himself restless, he missed the warmth of Nyota's body next to him and though they had the comfort of always carrying each other in their minds (a bond too deep to ever be broken) he still wished to have her close to him in his bed every night. After today there was no foreseeable reason for them not to be. There was the trilling of a bell at his door.

"Computer, open door." He said as he straightened his jacket.

"Smart." Jim said walking in looking at him. Spock was wearing a traditional tux and he had to admit that he did not find his reflection unpleasing.

"Aren't you meant to be in dress uniform though?"

"Nyota and I agreed to go against that tradition. I believe she wished to wear a dress."

Jim nodded. "I won;t hold it against you then. You really have to let women have whatever they want when it comes to weddings."

"It did not take me long to learn that fact." Spock said he turned and saw Jim in his gold dress uniform, though for some reason he had added a thin white piece of plastic around his neck.

"Are you aware that it is still illegal to imitate a member of the clergy?"

"Really? I never would have figured, what with all those sluts and Vicars parties."

"Which were you?"

Jim chuckled.

"Remember you're only allowed to be disrespectful to your Captain because it's your wedding day and you only get two of those apparently."

"If you say so Jim. Are you nervous Jim?"

"Nervous? Me?" He said as if about to laugh. "I'm freaking terrified. Unlike you I've never done a wedding before, and I'm meant to give you your lines, what If I forget them? What if I decide half way through the ceremony that actually I can;t let you marry that gorgeous woman and I'm going to have to legally marry her myself."

Spock set him a narrow eyed look.

"Wow, scary Spock, okay." Jim raised his hands and took a step backwards. "I will not muck up or run away with your bride despite the fact that you have not provided me with any brides maids."

"There are bridesmaids."

"They;re all members of staff, you were meant to provide me with bridesmaids that I could hit relentlessly on and have my naughty way with. It's unfair, we're partners, you're the coldly logical darkly broody logical one and I'm the light charming one who takes all the risks. Out of the two of us I'm the one who should be getting the regular blow jobs."

"I do not remember signing any such agreement when I agreed to be you're second in Command."

"It was an unwritten expectation."

"It seems on the Enterprise nothing ever meets expectations."

"No. So.. you ready to go get married."

"In my mind I have been married to Nyota for almost two years."

Jim nodded. "Okay then." Jim clapped him on the shoulder. "Let's do this."

Spock nodded in agreement and followed Jim out of the quarters and to the turbo lift that would take them to the Enterprises small chapel. They were silent on the trip down and as they entered into the little chapel with its wide viewing window that showed the unusual green and blue nebula that they had parked . The wedding guests were already all present and as Spock walked in they all turned to smile at him and moved to find there seats. All of the people he worked most closely with were there. McCoy and Christopher were standing at the front in their dress uniforms ready to stand with him again. In the crowd of those seated were Nyota's Mother and Brother, they gave Spock a smile as he walked to the front which he returned with a nod. Also were his science team and he bridge team and friends that Nyota had made from different departments. They had filled the chapel with people but they had decorated the cargo bay for their after party so the whole ship could attend, they had even made schedule changes so that everybody could come for at least and hour to wish the new couple well. It had all been planned surprisingly well by Jim who believed that as this was what he called 'the enterprises first true romance' everybody should get a chance to share in it.

Spock took his place beside Chris and McCoy.

"Thank you for being here again."

"Wasn't doing anything else today." Chris smiled.

Jim finished shaking hands with Nyota's mother and brother and then went to stand solemnly behind the small lectern facing the isle. Spock thought he actually looked quite respectable until he clapped his hands and shouted 'let's do this thing.'

The music started up at his words. A very traditional Wedding march and then the wooden double doors to the chapel opened and he could see nothing but Nyota. She was beautiful, he knew it but he saw her everyday and it was unfortunate but he seemed to get used to her beauty but then moments like this came along and she took his breath away. The dress was champagne color like he had seen her wearing all those years ago at the student mixer. But it was different, it was floor length with a small train of champagne colored lace. The skirt was long and plain where the top was a corset with thousands of sparkling gems sewn in. She wore gloves of the came color that went up to her elbows and in her had were fresh white lilies that Sulu had grown specially for had her hair hanging down in loose curls.

She nodded to her father at the end of the aisle and approached Spock. She gave him a dazzling smile. She reached out and touched his hand slightly. He felt the reassurance and excitement that she was trying to show him.

_**Relax Nyota,**_

_**It's the good kind of excitement Spock.**_

They turned to Jim to listen to his small speech on how the importance of marriage still holds in this age and then to follow him as he led them in their traditional vows, promises to love and to cherish each other come whatever may.

* * *

It was a happy day and one which Spock felt he would remember fondly for many years to come. The cargo bay had been mainly cleared and those crates that could not be moved were hidden behind screens that glowed in light purple or blue depending upon the music that was being played over the computer. Sulu had been growing lilies all year and had made beautiful multi colored arrangements that were placed on the tables that were to one side of the slightly raised dance floor. Somebody had got hold of a disco ball and volunteers had been helping out in the kitchen to provide wonderful spread of Vulcan and African dishes.

They had sat and ate and listened to Jim give a speech about how he had never ever wanted to have to officiate a wedding but he was glad that his first was two people who obviously loved each other despite their different cultures. They were a good example of how different cultures came together well and he was glad that they had decided to make it official. Then he called on them to perform their first dance as a married couple.

Spock and Nyota had danced a confident waltz in front of everybody,they were friends and family and there was no reason to hide anything from them. There was a cheer as Nyota cheekily grabbed his ears and pulled him down for a kiss. Spock felt his ears grow hot with the unusual public display of affection. As they exited the dance floor Chris led Sarah and Jim led Susanna onto the floor.

**_I'm meant to dance with my father but I believe Peter has just grabbed mother for a dance so perhaps it may be time for you and my father to bury the hatchet. _**  
****  
**_There is not Hatchet. _**  
****  
**_Spock, I know something is still not right with the tow of you. It's going to be another four years before we're back on earth please, please talk to him. _**  
****  
**_Of course, it would be illogical to ignore him on this day. _**

Nyota let go of his arm and headed through the crowd to talk to a table of women from the communication department.

"Mr. Uhura." Spock said feeling a slight apprehension as he approached. The last time they had talked face to face had ended in blows.

"Spock." replied looking out on to the dance floor.  
"Your wife looks beautiful today, I can see a lot of her in Nyota." Spock said trying to find some amiable way to open the conversation.

"Yes, Nyota is starting to look more like her."

"I am glad that you are here."  
Mr Uhura turned to him and gave a small smile.

"Yes, I'm glad to be here to Spock. A daughter getting married is a bittersweet affair."

"Yes I imagine so."

"Nyota has assured me on numerous occasions that you look after her well."

Spock nodded.

"I hold my wife in the highest regard and care a lot for her well being."

"You don't have the best record."

"That was regrettable."

"Willy have children?"

"When we are a little older perhaps. There are measures we can put in place to keep Nyota and the fetus healthy."

Mr. Uhura's jaw was set.

"Well, it is the past now. You and my daughter have decided to start a life together and I have to respect that. I would like it if you and I could start afresh Spock."

"I do not hold any grudges Mr. Uhura."

" That is an admiral quality." Mr. Uhura turned to him and clapped him on the shoulder. "Just take care of her and you and I will keep on good terms. I don't want my family to be any more fragmented that it already is."

"Do you think Nyonda will ever come to terms with I and Nyota's marriage?"

shook his head sadly.

"I don't know what goes on in that girls head anymore. I hope so, but I don't see it happening anytime soon."

Spock looked over at Nyota who caught his eye as she laughed with Sulu.

"She is sad that her sister is not here."

Mr. Uhura nodded.

"So.." He said changing the subject. "Vulcan food hua? Which of it can I eat without it poisoning me?"

"None of it should poison you, Nyota actually finds it quite palatable."

Spock did not get the opportunity to tell which foods were less spiced because the current piece of music had ended and he found himself being pulled into a rather hard hug by Nyota's mother. She pulled back and looked at him with tears running down her face.

"Spock, welcome to the family."

"Thank you Mrs. Uhura."

"Please Spock, it's mama."

"Mama." Nyota laughed walking over. "You're going to have to let him go at some point I do want to get another dance out of him whilst I still can."

Mama laughed and let go of Spock.

"Oh, look at those ears grow green aren't they beautiful, they will look so cute on our grandchildren."

"Mama." Nyota moaned

**_Sorry about this. _**  
****  
**_Do not apologize, they are our family. _**

He felt Nyota's joy at referring to her parents as their family.

"Peter, I trust your wife and children are well." Spock said turning to Nyota's older brother.

"Yes, Akina made a nice card for you and Yes Ny,I have brought lots of pictures of the new baby." Peter said laughing as Nyota kept trying to interrupt there speech.

Spock smiled slightly in contentment, he liked these people who were his new family.

* * *

It was a few hours after after the speeches had finished and Spock had danced with Nyota's mother as she her father and brother that Nyota came to find him once more as he was being congratulated by a rather drunk Chekhov who seemed to at the same time as congratulating him seemed to be confessing that he too was in love. Spock put his hand out to his wife and felt her slide her fingers up his slowly and deliberately.

"Hello Pav."

"I think he's wondwerful."

"Whose wonderful Pav? My husband?" Nyota laughed.

"Hikaru, he's.. he's wonderful."

"Have you had a lot to drink Pav?"

"Not wery much."

"Okay, perhaps it's best if you just sit in the corner for a while."

"You do not think I should tell him he is wonderful?"

"I think you should consider it when you're a little more sober."

"That is a gud idea."

Nyota led Spock away from the young besotted crew member.

"So... I think we should go to our room." She said the slight sweetness of her breath showing that she had also enjoyed a few glasses of wine.

"We cannot ignore our guests Nyota."

"They will understand, besides everybody is watching Scotty do the highland fling in his kilt and he is not wearing any underwear."

"I think it is time that we quietly leave then." Spock agreed smiling down at his new wife.

Epilogue two coming soon.


	55. Epilogue 2, Disaster

Okay, cue overly dramatic second epilogue. Sorry for the wait, I am no longer and unemployed ex-student and I'm moving so busy busy busy, the plus is the final epilogue has already been written but on a PDA so i'll put it up in a couple of days when I can find the connections. Enjoy.

Epilogue One of Two (Three years after the movie, two after the last chapter)

"CAPTAIN! KLINGON WAR BIRD PORT SIDE."

"What!" Jim stood up and rushed over to the scanner his shoulders jabbed into the ensign's as he looked through the view scope.

"Put it on view screen now!" The stress in the Captain's voice was clear for all to hear.

"How did we not see them?"

"I don't know sir, they seem to have a new cloaking devise." The Ensign replied nervously.

Kirk studied the view screen for a moment, his eyes narrowing as if it could give him answers to the sudden appearance of one of the federations greatest enemies right above a peace conference when there were other vessels patrolling.

"Shields on full Sulu." He said distractedly over his shoulder before turning back to the ensign.

"I've never seen a war bird like that before. Put it on view screen."

All eyes flicked up to the view screen and froze there. The new ship was black so the features were not clear against the background of space but flat disk like shape was unlike any ship belonging to the Klingon's they had ever seen before but the outline of an orange bird painted on top was not.

"Who gave them that?" Kirk mussed.

"They're are highly armed Captain."

"Open up coms."

Kirk turned and sat in his chair. The lights on the arm flashed letting him know the coms were open.

"Klingon vessel, this is Captain Jim Kirk of the U.S.S Enterprise you are in federation space."

"Kaptain, they are arming weapons." Chekhov shouted.

"Sulu start defensive maneuvers."

"Captain, I don't think they're aiming at us." The young ensign on the senser system shouted. Jim Kirk made a split second decision to trust the inexperienced young mans translation of the situation.

"Then who?" Kirk paused the blood drained from his face.

" I need confirmation, the minute you get it fire. "

He turned to his Com's officer, Nyota's friend Susanna, she was the second most talented Com technician in the fleet.

"Get in contact with the palace. They need to be warned."

Susanna didn't waste time with a nod of confirmation concentrating entirely upon her fingers dancing across the board.

Kirk opened the coms up again.

"Kirk to Klingon Vessel, answer Klingon vessel! I am taking your presence here as a threat on the peace negotiations on the planet below."

"They're arming weapons."

"KLINGON VESSEL, ANSWER OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE."

"Captain they've launched a missile, I believe it's targeted the palace."

"Sulu, open fire." Kirk shouted standing up.

They watched the red lines of the Enterprise phaser dart through space, Kirk thought he saw a burst of orange flames as the phasers hit their target but he couldn't be sure because a nanosecond later the ship had gone to warp leaving behind a splattering of blue plasma particles.

"Dammit!" Kirk shouted.

"Did you get a message through to them?" He asked Susanna.

"I believe so sir." But her words came out sounding more like 'I hope so'.

"Open persuite captain?"

"No, we need to get down there. Send a message out to the scouting ships, the enemy has been hit. There's a chance they'll have to slow down for repairs soon."

Kirk callapsed on the seat he rubbed his forehead with his fingers.

"And Commander and lieutenant Spock are down there."

* * *

Nyota smiled across at her husband. They had both enjoyed their lunchtime walk. They never realized how much they missed the wind, the smell of grasses and the the changing heat of a planet until they were down on one. Though the Enterprise was home she was also a mistress who demanded sacrifice from those who lived aboard her.

"I believe they will agree to our terms." Spock said folding his arms behind his back again.

"Yes, at least our last assignment together will be successful. I don't want Jim to regret sending me."

"Most of our missions have been successful Nyota. There cannot be any doubts that your presence has been a great help in the success of the mission, your condition though having raised questions has not been of detriment. After all these people, like most, hold fertility in high regard."

Nyota practically jumped as a loud whirling alarm started. She looked to Spock, his eyebrows furrowed, he glanced towards the door down the hallway they had just come from then his eyes flicked around and he grabbed Nyota and lifted her with amazing ease.

"Spock..What?"

Nyota grabbed hold of him tightly as he ducked into the alcove under the staircase and pushed her down. He covered her body with his tucking her head down by his chest. She felt a wave of panic as she felt his fear filtering through their connection.

Their was a ear splitting noise that came over the top of the alarm. Then, a crashing explosion that was too much for Nyota to process. She snuggled close to Spock holding him tight;y as the ground shook and there were more explosions. It seemed to last for a long time.

_**I love you.**_

_**No goodbyes, it's almost over.**_

Nyota nodded her head and held onto Spock the noise seemed to stop but for what felt like a lifetime there continued to be bangs and small trembles. Finally it was quiet long enough for Nyota to open her eyes and try to look up at Spock. Except the hallway they had been in had disappeared, everything was pitch black.

_**Stay still Nyota I need to check the area.**_

Nyota nodded and though Spock could not see her she knew he would sense her. She could feel him moving around, first his body close to her and then he moved away. Her eyes began to clear and she started to make out different shades of darkness, wall , close to her, surrounding her.

"I believe that due to the strength of the stairwell, the amount of floors above us and the weight of this material there is a sixty seven percent chance that with no further disruptions we shall be safe."

Spock said. In the years Nyota had knew him she had learned to read small differences in his voice. She could sense the small relief in his voice and was sad to know that his relief would be short lived as she could feel the trickle of liquid running down her legs and the slight tightening feeling in her stomach. She could sense him turning to look at her as a rush of fear made her feel dizzy. If she were not already sitting down then she would likely have fallen over. Spock crouched beside her and put his hands on her shoulder. She could just make out his features mere inches from her face. She took a deep breath to try and clam herself. She needed the facts of the situation and Spock's more acute senses might have picked up something she had missed.

"What happened?"

"I believe that the building was attacked, probably by a missile of sort but I can not determine from where or who initiated the attack."

Nyota couldn't hold it in any longer. They were trapped, buried under four floors of cold stone and green metal beams.

"I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault that the building was attacked Nyota."

"No, my water just broke."

* * *

The sun was shining, a day for beaches and sunbathing. If they were on leave, that is. Instead a third of his crew were shifting through the three achre mound of rumble. Jim rested for a moment against the three stories of wall that remained standing, jutting up out of the ground. He felt hopeless as he looked over the rubble. Piles had been carefully moved by hand and bodies had been dragged out but as he watched the small groups of red clad soldiers he knew that they weren't working with the determination they had started with almost three days previously. They were starting to think their was nobody alive. He knew that because he was starting to believe it. He was starting to believe in no win scenarios.

"Jim, you haven't slept in two days."

Jim turned his head to see his friend Lenard McCoy hold a bottle for him. He took it suddenly realizing how dry his mouth felt, it was as if it was filled with the dust that danced around him every-time he and his team moved a large piece of masonry.

"I authorized that they come down here Bones."

"I know you feel bad Jim. I know they were you're best friends but I was there too. Nyota wanted to come down here, they wanted one more mission together as they wouldn't be able to work together after the baby was born."

Jim shook his head as they talked. Bone's didn't know what he was feeling. He was in care of the ship's health. He could make wrong decisions on how to treat people If they were injured (which he never had, the man seemed to work miracles some times). Jim however made the decisions to send them into dangerous situations. If somebody died on a mission then it was he who had picked them for that mission, he who wrote the messages to their parents, he who filled in the forms and spoke at the funerals. He had been Captain for three years, he had lost men but he had never felt this level of guilt. Spock and Nyota were his friends, his family and about to start a family themselves.

"She was one day away from the seven months mark. One day before regulations say she has to stay aboard, I could have refused."

"None of us knew the Klingons would do this, it was meant to be a risk free mission..."

"WE BOTH KNOW NO MISSION IS RISK FREE BONES!"

Jim shouted standing up and throwing his bottle of water. He regretted it immediately seeing the closed off expression on Bone's face and the shocked expression on some of his crew stood near him. He turned away and his eyes focused upon the gushing bottle of water as it dribbled down into a small hole in the rubble. Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose feeling some of the anger drift away. It was wrong to shout at Bones, it would make for an unhappy crew if every time he was angry at himself for a bad decision he took it out on one of them. Especially Bones, his oldest friend.

"Sorry." He muttered.

Bones nodded in acceptance of the apology.

"It's been two days, we haven't pulled anybody out alive in over twenty four hours. They're dead Bones." He felt the tears well in his eyes.

Bones walked over and squeezed his shoulder. Jim wished he'd pull him into a hug, the first time since he had become Captain he wished it was somebody else's job. He wished that he and Bones were back at colleges, that he was antagonizing Nyota again and Spock was just a stranger who shot him daggers from across the room. He wished he could live it all over again, he;d only change one thing. He would never have sent them down here.

"Don't give up hope yet Jim. You know how tough that hobgoblin is and he'd do anything to protect 're out there somewhere, if only the damned radiation on this planet and this weird alloy stuff didn't interfere with our scanners we'd have had them out by now."

Jim nodded. He tried to give his friend a smile but he knew that Bone's words were just wishful thinking.

"You need sleep."

"No." Jim refused.

"Food then, an hour or I'll sign you off duty."

Jim knew it wasn't an empty threat, Bones would sign him off if he thought he was unfit for duty. Jim would never trust him to be his main medical officer if he didn't.

"Okay." Jim didn't have a choice.

They started walking together over the rubble helping each other when they stumbled on the loose rubble. Jim stopped to talk to his men as he passed, he let them know they were doing a good job and asked the to keep trying. They wouldn't give up on two of their own, not until there was no hope left.

They were climbing over the deepest part of the metal when Jim heard a noise. It was like metal tapping against metal. He would have passed it by, after all there was a lot of noise on the site. But there wasn't anybody around here. He stopped and started listening. The tapping was odd, repeating in a pattern. It was too perfect to be made by chance.

Bones turned to look at him when he realized that he had stopped walking.

"Did you hear that?"

"No."

"Listen."

Bones paused for a few moments.

"Jim I don't hear anything."

"QUIET EVERYBODY!"

It took a long moment for all the noise to stop as the message was passed on from those groups close to him right to the edges of the disaster zone.

Jim listened carefully, the noise had stopped. He waited staring down at the yellow rubble below his feet. Then, just as he was giving up it started again. He looked up at Bone's face and realized by his shocked look he had heard it too.

"Is that ...old Morse code?" Bones asked.

"Yes." Jim said knowing it was true the instant Bones said it. The antiquated earth code, dots and dashes. His heart soared, there were only two people on the palace that would have ever heard of Morse code.

"Over here." Jim said walking a little to the left till the noise was at it's loudest.

"Here." He said pointing at a large piece of stone in front of him. It was two about two meters long and a meter wide, maybe eight inches thick.

"WE HAVE POSSIBLE SURVIVORS." Bones shouted.

They were surrounded by the red and blue shirted crew within moments. They quickly organized themselves and started shifting debris removing all the other pieces of stone that was keeping the largest bit held down. It took sixteen men nearly forty minutes to remove the big block but when they did they saw the first three steps of a ruined staircase and the pitch black foot deep gap that ran along the side of it. There was a space down there that hadn't caved in.

Jim grabbed a flashlight and ran forwards but it wasn't needed because just as he reached the pitch black hole something appeared out of it.

He had to stare for a moment for his confused tired brain to realize that the pale item was a hand. He dropped to his knees and clasped it in between his two. He could see the pale green blood running down from a gash in the palm and spots of red blood on his fingers.

"Spock! Spock, I've got you."

"We've got him." Bones shouted.

Jim felt Spock's hand tugging on his own, he let go wondering if he was hurting him. He was confused as the hand disappeared. His eyes kept trained on the spot where it had disappeared as his crew worked around him trying to widen the hole without the whole thing collapsing on Spock. Jim reached for his flashlight again when the hole seemed wide enough but was stopped by a weak cry. The sound went straight through him. Was that what it sounded like? He stared at the hole as a bundle wrapped in a blue science shirt was pushed up into the air.

"Oh lord." He heard Bones say behind him. "Is that?"

Jim gently took the bundle seeing skin beneath the material. He let out a deep breath as he felt movement under his fingers. He pushed aside the sleeve of the science uniform that had fallen out of place. He looked in wonder down at the tiny form it had hidden. Pale latte colored skin, long black lashes, tiny pointed ears a splattering of black hair and big dark brown eyes that squirmed shut at the sudden intrusion of light.

"My goddaughter." Jim muttered turning to look at the stunned face of doctor McCoy. It took a moment for him to shake himself out of it.

"She's not crying, dehydration, let me take her."

Jim held the baby against his heart for a second silently promising that he would take care of her no matter what. Then he passed her to Bones.

"Enterprise two to beam up, and get some stretchers down here we're going to need them."

"They're alive." Jim whispered as he watched his friend and goddaughter beam up to the Enterprise.


	56. Epilogue 3: Planet Break

Note: Some mild references to slash (nothing M rated.)

* * *

The final chapter, it's been two years, it was only meant to be one (Though the majority of it was written in one year and my updates slowed to like one a month for a while). Is anybody who started reading early on still with me? I think I might cry when I upload this it's such an end of an era. Here we go, please remember to review at the end, it's the last chance for anybody whose read to let me know what they think.

The final epilogue: Back to reality. *seven years after film events.

Spock ran his fingers along his wife's back, sighing she rolled over and smiled at him. It was the beautiful wide smile that always made his heart beat out of rhythm for a while. He looked down over her body. The sweat from their love making had made hay from the ground stick to her stomach and breasts. He gently peeled each piece off and flicked it back onto the ground of the red grass field they were laying in. He bent his head and kissed the thin pale lines on her lower stomach, the stretch marks it had taken her so long to accept. Her fingers reached down to run through his hair causing a pleasant massaging sensation.

"Spock, what's the time?" She mumbled softly.

"It is time to return to reality my love."

"Say it one more time."

He leaned back up to kiss her lips. He kept the kiss gentle, he could not allow himself to get distracted.

"You are beautiful. You are amazing and beautiful and everyday I desire you more."

Spock stood up and reached down, Nyota took his offered hand and he pulled her to her feet. They scanned the area and collected their clothing. He turned away from Nyota as they dressed, they had only been on planet leave for one day but he felt he needed to bring his mind back from holiday mode. It had taken him years and the birth of his daughter to start allowing himself to take holidays but now he felt he was perhaps relaxing more than was decent for a Vulcan. They would be back to this peaceful predator and toxin free planet in two days, but they would not be alone and they were so rarely alone these days that every moment was treasured and drawn out as much as possible.

Once dressed Spock and Nyota walked hand in hand to the beam up point a earth mile away from the secluded field. Twenty of the others due to beam up were stood waiting for whoever it was in the transport room that day to contact them. Nyota and Spock said hello to two members of the science department and then went to stand next to Hikaru and Pav Sulu- Checkov. The couple took a moment to realize that Spock and Nyota were there as they were happily entwined in each others arms. They would be taking their honeymoon in seven weeks when the Enterprise circled close to Earth again. Though it seemed from the newly weds dreamy smiles they had begun a little early.

"Hey." Sulu said when he finally noticed them stood there.

"Hello Hikaru, Pavel, have you enjoyed your break from duty?" Spock asked.

"It vas great commander."

"Yeah, we haven't been off the Enterprise since the wedding. You didn't beam down with us, didn't you get the entire three days?" Sulu asked.

"We managed to split it." Nyota answered."One day us time and then two days family time. We're beaming down with Christine and Scotty so the girls can play together."

"Can't let Mandy and Ambrosia get separated." Pav said with a slight smile. "I caught them climbing through the maintenance shafts last veek, they vere tracking the Captains movements."

"Again? I've told them not to do that a thousand times." Nyota said sounding exasperated.

Spock knew it was best not to point out that she had only warned them not to climb the maintenance shafts twice and not to spy on the captain six times. There was a light buzzing from Spock's communicator, he glanced at Nyota.

_**Back to reality.**_

Spock flipped the lid open.

"Spock here."

"Lets' get ya up nice and quick shall we? Ma bonny brides making me a sandwich." Scotty's voice came clearly over the communicator.

"Nurse Scott's sandwich making skills are legendary." Spock answered.

"That's the only reason he married her." Hikaru joked.

"And because she vas up the duff with Ambrosia." Pav said. Hikaru laughed and kissed him again.

"I heard that boys." Scotty said. "And just for that I'm going to beam you up last."

"Take your time." Hikaru shouted pulling away from Pav for a moment and then going back to their passionate kiss.

Spock raised an eyebrow at Nyota and she shook her head.

"We were never that bad were we?"

"I believe we were worse." Spock answered.

Nyota gave a laugh as the tingling of the transporter touched his body and light surrounded him. Moments later he was stood on the transporter pad with Nyota and four others.

"Clear the pad I want my tea!" Scotty shouted from behind the terminal.

Spock and Nyota stepped down quickly followed by the others. Spock gently placed his hand on the small of Nyota's back and guided her towards the door.

"Goodnight Mr. Scott." Spock said as he left. Nyota stopped and turned back into the room as if she had forgotten something.

"Oh, tell Christine thanks for that article she sent me."

"Will do." Scotty said with a nod.

"Thanks Monty."

"Don't call me Monty." He shouted as they headed down the hallway. Nyota gave a little mischievous smile in response.

They took the turbo lift to the forth floor and walked side by side to their quarters. Spock turned to Nyota one last time before opening the door.

"Reality is pretty good anyway." She said with a smile.

Spock pushed his palm against the door pad and the door swiftly opened revealing their comfortably sized family quarters and Lenard McCoy. He was sat on their sofa staring intently at Spock's chess set.

"Hi Len." Nyota said. Len grunted not looking up. Spock felt the tips of his lips quirk up.

"Where's Mandy?" Nyota asked.

Len waved his hand back towards the bedrooms.

"In bed, she's had dinner, she's had a bath and she's beat me at chess. How does a four year old beat me at chess?" Len asked looking up at them his face showing a little confusion and a lot of irritation. It was as Spock suspected.

"She cheated." Spock answered.

"Four year olds cheat?"

"She has Jim for a godfather." Nyota answered.

There was the sudden tapping of little feet and Mandy ran into the room dressed in her favorite purple butterfly nightdress.

"Mummy! Daddy!" She shouted excitedly in her still babyish voice. It was as if she had not seen them in a week not just that morning.

Spock dropped to his knees and held his arms out, Mandy ran straight into them. Holding his daughter always made him feel warm, complete.

"Hello Baby." He said just loud enough for her tiny latte pointed ears to pick up.

"I beat the Doc at chess."

"I know." He answered letting go of her and leaning back. He molded his face to look serious and a little disapproving.

"Did you cheat?" He asked.

Mandy gave a little frown looking exactly like her mother as she did so.

"It was the only way I could win." She answered him.

"It is acceptable to lose, it is not acceptable to cheat."

"I don not believe in no win scenario!" Mandy stated loudly.

"Do you see why we didn't ask Jim to babysit tonight?" Nyota asked Len.

"Yeah I see." He said gruffly.

"Thank you for watching her." Spock said hinting to the doctor that it was time for him to leave.

"My pleasure." Len answered sounding as it had not actually been a pleasure in anyway. He stood up ready to leave.

"Thanks Len." Nyota said hugging him then turning to her daughter.

"Mandy?"

At her mother's reminder Mandy turned sweetly to Len.

"Thanks you for playing with me Doctor McCoy."

Len seemed to soften slightly at her smile.

"You're welcome little lady." He answered. He turned to Spock as he left the apartment.

"Coming to Jim's card night tomorrow?"

"I shall be present."

"Well, I'll see you there then." Len left.

"Bedtime Mandy." Spock said softly.

Nyota stated tidying away his chess set.

"Story Daddy." Mandy requested.

Nyota gave a short laugh.

Spock frowned at his daughter but those big coco eyes stared at him and he relented.

"Which one?" He asked taking her hand and leading her back to her bedroom.

"Uh.. the one with the sundwellers." Mandy said climbing into her bed. Spock tugged at her blankets tucking her in as she laid down.

"Once upon a time on old Vulcan." He started aware that Nyota had walked over and was resting against the doorway.

"There were giant creatures the size of shuttle pods, they had four long wings that glittered in the sunlight with all the colors of a rainbow. They lived their lives in the sky never touching the floor."

"And they were magical weren't they?"

"All things can be explained with science." Spock answered.

"That's not how Mommy tells it."

Spock turned and smiled at his wife.

"Well, it was said that when you saw a sundweller a change was going to occur in your life. And before your Mommy and I were married and long before we even knew we loved one another I wanted to let your mother know how much esteem I held her in. So I gave her the sundweller earrings."

Nyot';s finger reached unconsciously up to her ears to toy with the earrings.

"And it changed something." Mandy said smiling.

"You know it did." Spock answered, she had heard this story many times.

Nyota stepped into the room and stood behind Spock, her hand rested lightly against his shoulder.

"Shortly after." Nyota continued Spock's story. "Your father and I started to date. And when he told me the story of the sundwellers I knew I loved him. We came on to the Enterprise, we got married and then you came along." Nyota said gently running her fingers through Mandy's thick black hair.

"Time to sleep." Nyota said. She leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Mandy."

"Goodnight Mommy, love you."

A soft smiled came over Nyota's face, one she seemed to save just for her daughter.

"I love you to Mands."

"Love you Daddy."

"And I you." Spock answered. He wrapped his arms around Nyota's waist and led her out the room.

"Computer lights off. Sleep well Amanda."

The door closed behind them and they walked together tiredly to their own room.

"Six years." Nyota siad quietly as they undressed. Spock knew she was referring to the fact that it was their six year anniversary in a week. Spock got into the bed waiting for Nyota to continue talking. She pulled a nightdress over her head and turned to him.

"Do you still love me?" Nyota asked in a humorous tone.

Spock pulled her down into his arms and kissed her temple.

"Always Nyota. I love you every instant of every day."

And they lived long and prospered.

The end.

Thank you for reading. Please review, bye.


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